The Five — "Big, Bad, Ballroom"

Date: October 22, 2025
Host: Emily Compagno with Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, Greg Gutfeld
Podcast: FOX News Podcasts

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Five," titled "Big, Bad, Ballroom," revolves around the media and political uproar over President Trump's plans to construct a grand ballroom at the White House. The panelists examine the reactions from liberal commentators, the history of presidential renovations, the deeper policy issues allegedly overshadowed by this controversy, and other hot-button news including ICE raids on illegal street vendors, gender-neutral sports, and a new Teddy Roosevelt biography. The tone is satirical, combative, and characteristically irreverent, as the hosts mix political analysis with pointed humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trump's White House Ballroom: Media and Political Reactions

• Liberal Meltdown:
  Emily Compagno opens with examples of prominent Democrats lambasting Trump’s ballroom as "destroying the White House" (Hillary), "ripping apart the Constitution" (Gavin Newsom), and being wasteful, while ignoring similar renovations by past presidents.
  "But President Trump adds a taxpayer free ballroom, and suddenly the left's doing the meltdown mambo." – Emily Compagno (00:44)

• "King" and "Propaganda" Accusations:
  The panel mocks portrayals of Trump as a would-be monarch and draws analogies to North Korean propaganda.
  "Donald Trump wants to be a king. It's the best explanation for everything he's been doing..." – Jesse Watters (01:00)
  "It does to me...look like a Kim Jong Un propaganda video..." – Emily Compagno/Jessica Tarlov (01:09)

• False Equivalence or Hypocrisy?
  Emily notes previous presidents’ renovations, funded by taxpayers, highlighting Hillary Clinton’s own role in White House changes during her husband’s term.
  "Are they going to exhume Woodrow Wilson for destroying the colonial garden?" – Emily Compagno (04:43)

• Underlying Policy Concerns:
  Jessica Tarlov pivots, stressing that the real news should be about the government shutdown, ACA premium hikes, and the impact on American farmers, particularly Trump's beef import policy.
  "We are in the midst of a government shutdown...no soybeans coming out of America. We bail out Argentina and then Argentina gets the contract..." – Jessica Tarlov (03:41)

• Satirizing Democratic and Celebrity Critiques:
  The panel ridicules Jeff Daniels’ protest song and Democratic reactions to Trump’s memes, comparing his social media prowess to prior president’s struggles.
  "It's nice to know in a world full of hate, there’s someone out there still making love." – Dana Perino quoting Jeff Daniels’s song (02:45)

2. Broader Political Themes

• Symbolism of the Ballroom:
  Greg Gutfeld concedes the ballroom is extravagant, but criticizes misplaced priorities and highlights "real stories" being eclipsed, including the farm economy and rural voters’ struggles.

• Democrats’ Tactical Focus:
  Dana Perino posits that Democrats often complain then enjoy the results of Republican policies, and analogizes Trump's ballroom modernization to American ingenuity and progress.
  "We have to go into this century with the full force of American ingenuity. And if it means a big, beautiful ballroom...that’s a good thing." – Dana Perino (07:09)

• Media Distraction:
  The team mocks media fixation on the ballroom, claiming it’s a "press gimmick" to obscure policy achievements like Middle East peace deals. "It's like doing a damning story on a fireman caught talking on his phone and leaving out the part that he had just rescued orphans and puppies from a fire." – Greg Gutfeld (12:16)

3. Illegal Street Vendors & ICE Enforcement (14:15)

• ICE Raids in Chinatown:
  Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld discuss the ICE raids in NYC’s Chinatown, targeting illegal vendors, some with serious criminal histories.
  "They bagged nine illegal aliens with rap sheets..." – Jesse Watters (14:17)

• Public Backlash & "Suicidal Empathy":
  Liberal activists are accused of virtue-signaling and impeding law enforcement for emotional rather than practical reasons.
  "Why do women...give their compassion to something that would actually destroy them...they call it suicidal empathy." – Jesse Watters (18:48)

• Safety & Slave Labor Concerns:
  Jessica Tarlov adds that counterfeit products are often made with child slave labor, calling out the contradictions in activist behavior.
  "Most of these products...are made with slave labor, often child slave labor." – Jessica Tarlov (17:40)

4. Gender-Neutral Olympics & Social Contagions (24:11)

• James Carville Criticizes Gender Policy:
  Carville berates California Democrats for supporting gender-neutral sports, echoed by incredulity from the hosts. "Are the Democrats really this stupid? James Carville nuking a liberal California candidate for governor..." – Dana Perino (24:11)

• Social Contagion & Consequence-Free Framing:
  The panel discusses the explosion and subsequent decline in youth trans-identification, attributing its spread to politicized debate and suppression of opposing views.
  "If you talked about the downside of an open border, then that made you racist. It was crazy." – Jesse Watters (26:46)

• Personal Stories:
  Emily Compagno shares a legal anecdote comparing criminal exposure and the shifting standards under trans-inclusive bathroom laws. "Now we're supposed to tell our daughters that when that happens in a locker room that it's all of a sudden, okay." – Emily Compagno (28:08)

5. Bret Baier's Teddy Roosevelt Book (30:17)

• Teddy Roosevelt Parallels:
  Bret Baier introduces his biography of TR, discussing Roosevelt’s New York background, toughness, and history of White House renovations. "He redid the White House completely...He would have wanted the big ballroom, 100%." – Bret Baier (34:29)

• Lessons from History:
  Baier and the panel comment on historical cycles and their relevance to current politics.

6. Lighter Segments & "One More Thing" (35:15–end)

• The show closes with light banter about habits like face-touching, viral animal stories, sumo wrestling in London, and light-hearted digs among the hosts.
• "If you had this face, wouldn’t you touch it?" – Jesse Watters (36:17)
• "Jessica, you got a very cute snow leopard seeing her first pumpkin." – Greg Gutfeld (40:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The left’s doing the meltdown mambo.” – Emily Compagno (00:44)
• “Donald Trump wants to be a king…” – Jesse Watters (01:00)
• “MSNBC’s Jen Psaki was making some truly despicable comments about Vice President J.D. Vance’s wife…” – Emily Compagno (01:38)
• “This is a press gimmick. When they focus on some ephemeral activity and they pretend it’s the only thing happening…” – Greg Gutfeld (12:16)
• “It’s an 80/20 issue. Don’t be stupid.” – Greg Gutfeld on gender-neutral sports (27:45)
• “He redid the White House completely. He was one of 14 presidents who renovated the White House…He would have wanted the big ballroom.” – Bret Baier (34:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04 – 03:41: Opening, Trump ballroom uproar, media & Democrat response
• 04:43 – 07:09: Renovation hypocrisy, political symbolism, past president precedents
• 07:29 – 10:12: Social media strategies, Dems vs. Trump, pragmatic upgrades
• 12:16 – 13:23: Media as a distraction from policy, real issues for voters
• 14:15 – 17:09: ICE raids in NYC, street vendors, criminal records
• 18:48 – 21:29: Virtue signaling, law enforcement perspective, empathy discourse
• 24:11 – 29:39: Gender-neutral sports, trans identification debate, personal stories
• 30:17 – 34:43: Teddy Roosevelt biography, lessons from history, TR-White House connections
• 35:15 – End: Light banter, animal stories, sumo wrestling, “One More Thing”

Conclusion

"Big, Bad, Ballroom" offers a classic "The Five" blend: satirical takedowns of Democratic and media reactions, partisan policy analysis, quick pivots to underlying societal issues, and pointed humor. The episode is marked by its themes of culture war, elite hypocrisy, the media’s role in setting narratives, and the panel’s insistence on the durability—and divisiveness—of Trump as a political and cultural icon. News, politics, and performance art mix, delivering both sharp sound bites and memorable comedic exchanges.