The Five – “Completely Obliterating”

FOX News Podcasts | March 30, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, the panel dives into the latest developments on the Iran conflict, ongoing domestic political controversies, and cultural flashpoints. The hosts—Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Jesse Waters, Charlie Hurt, and Jessica Tarloff—debate US military strategy, the political risks facing President Trump, intense protest movements like “No Kings,” and the shifting dynamics of identity politics in the Democratic Party. The show captures their characteristic banter, pointed disagreements, and a blend of humor and sharp political analysis.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Iran Conflict and Trump’s War Policy

• US Objectives and Military Operations

  • The US faces a critical week for possible deals with Iran; President Trump is warned he's ready to "blow them to smithereens" if Iran doesn't comply (Jessica, 00:56).
  • Discussion of "regime change" as already achieved—they argue Iran's former regimes have been “destroyed, they're all dead” (Greg, 01:24).
  • Pentagon's Operation Epic Fury is underway; objectives include destroying the Iranian navy, missiles, proxies, and preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons (Dana, 02:15).
  • “We have moved away from what Caroline Levitt was even saying from the podium today because she was talking about nuclear programs. That’s not on the list anymore... What happened to eradicating their support for proxy forces?” (Dana, 06:08).

• Political Ramifications for Trump

  • Democrats label the war a “blunder” and a political liability (Jessica, 02:47).
  • Charlie pushes back: “He doesn’t do things like this for political reasons... Politicians never do anything in an election year for political reasons because they don’t want to have to pay the price for it in the election” (Charlie, 03:33).
  • Dana observes that whatever political goodwill Trump had is being spent, describing him as a disruptor rather than a traditional politician (Dana, 05:13).
  • Greg riffs on war options, referencing wild scenarios involving Marines storming uranium caches and "digging through the tunnels" (Greg, 08:07).

• Tactical & Strategic Discussion

  • The prospects of seizing strategic sites like Kharg Island or the Strait are debated for their danger and strategic value (Greg, 09:17).
  • Greg warns of challenging weeks ahead: “The next two weeks, we’ll probably see the most dangerous and decisive action of the war so far. And I can just pray it goes well” (Greg, 10:13).
  • Jesse introduces the numbers of Iranian targets destroyed: “We have taken out 13,000 and we have 3,000 more to go” (Jesse, 11:20).

• Political Capital & Decision-Making

  • Jessica, Charlie, and Dana agree Trump is willing to “spend political capital” for perceived national interests, not just self-preservation (Jessica, 12:25; Charlie, 12:28).
  • Dana: “He is a new kind of politician. A politician who doesn’t care about winning that much, I guess…” (Dana, 05:23).

2. Domestic Unrest: “No Kings” Protests

• Nature and Impact of Protests

  • Jesse and Greg recount chaotic scenes at "No Kings" rallies in L.A. and Portland, with violence, anti-ICE graffiti, and American flags burned while communist symbols are flown (Jesse, 14:00).
  • “This is group therapy designed as public theater... It doesn’t accomplish anything because like the very worst, self-help, it’s self-indulgent” (Greg, 15:40).
  • The protests are characterized as spectacles in deep-blue cities, with little chance of swaying swing voters, emphasizing their performative aspect (Jesse, 17:25).

• Funding and Organization

  • Greg alludes to billionaire and "Soros-led campaign," mocking the left’s organization and motivations (Greg, 16:20).

• Political Energy and Engagement

  • Dana notes the protests’ scale: “The no Kings movement, the last time... had about 6 million people. Now it’s 8 million people. 3,300 rallies across all 50 states, and actually two thirds of them were in suburbs and small towns” (Dana, 19:38).
  • But she questions: “People kicking in fences and things like that... Is this really worth the $3 billion you spent?” (Dana, 21:11).

• Potential Electoral Impact

  • There’s debate over whether this energy spells trouble or success for Democrats come midterms, with Charlie arguing that focusing on radical left messages could inadvertently help Republicans despite a “horrifying landscape” for the GOP (Charlie, 21:46).

3. Government Shutdown, TSA Pay, and Reparations Debate

• TSA Pay Controversy

  • The panel discusses the record government shutdown, noting TSA agents finally got paid after over 40 days due to Trump’s action—but Democrats remain critical (Greg, 23:43).
  • Dana states: “Donald Trump admitting that he could have paid TSA agents all along is an enormous own goal... It’s completely on the Republicans at this point and everybody knows it” (Dana, 25:11).
  • Charlie floats the populist idea that if Congress and the government don’t work, taxpayers deserve a "tax holiday": “Give me a 45 day tax holiday... That’s a 10 plus percent federal tax rebate at the end of the year” (Charlie, 27:05).

• Reparations and Political Weaponization

  • The idea of reparations for illegal immigrants traumatized by ICE is dismissed by the conservatives, with criticism for prioritizing non-citizens over Americans (Greg, 24:28).
  • “If a young woman was murdered by an illegal alien, you would think a politician who was also a woman would speak out on her behalf, right? AOC not said a word… For progressives, politics makes suffering transactional” (Greg, 28:18).

4. Identity Politics and Democratic Strategy for 2028

• Democrats Rethink Candidate Profiles

  • Citing Axios, they discuss rumors that Democrats may pivot to “a straight white Christian man” for 2028 after losses with Kamala and Hillary (Charlie, 31:27).
  • Greg and Charlie ridicule the continued fixation on identity over ideas, suggesting, with tongue-in-cheek, that “you guys should just run a gay Jew” (Greg, 34:39).
  • Greg also analyzes Obama’s success as a unique phenomenon, and argues that Democratic strategists are now focused on “surface appeal” to repackage progressive policies (Greg, 35:26; 37:00).

• Voter Readiness and Sexism Narratives

  • The recent Michelle Obama comment (“we ain’t ready”) regarding a woman president is discussed as both a candid admission and a political dodge (Greg, 31:52).
  • Dana disputes the idea that America is too misogynistic, suggesting it says more about specific candidates than voters’ readiness for a woman leader (Dana, 32:42).

• Party Division and the Dangers of Identity Politics

  • The hosts agree that identity politics has splintered the Democrats and masked the need for centrist policies (Greg, 37:00).
  • “It’s not until you let go of the identity stuff... The party will then realize that they have to deal with actual policies” (Greg, 38:11).

5. AI in Academia: ‘Moreover’ as a Dead Giveaway

• Dana discusses a viral anecdote about professors identifying AI-generated student essays by words like “moreover”: “A professor revealing one specific word as a dead giveaway—‘moreover’—I’ve never heard a 20 year old use ‘moreover’ in their life” (Dana, 39:42).
• Jessica admits to using AI for book proposals, comparing its addictive help to "using steroids at the gym" (Jessica, 40:22).
• Charlie notes professors use AI, too—“I guarantee you that that professor who’s complaining about it put in a program and used AI to find all the papers that say, ‘moreover’” (Charlie, 41:22).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Regime Change in Iran:
  “Regime change... we’re doing extremely well in that negotiation. But you never know with Iran, because we negotiate with them and then we always have to blow them up.”
  — Greg Gutfeld (01:24–01:59)

• On Political Motives:
  “Politicians never do anything in an election year for political reasons because they don’t want to have to pay the price for it in the election.”
  — Charlie Hurt (03:33)

• On Protest Culture:
  “This is group therapy designed as public theater... it’s self-indulgent. You don’t come out as an outsider and think, ‘Wow, that made my day better.’”
  — Greg Gutfeld (15:40)

• On Trump’s Leadership:
  “He’s the only politician we’ve ever had who is always willing to spend political capital on something other than just getting himself reelected.”
  — Charlie Hurt (12:28)

• On Identity Politics:
  “If it ends up being an Andy Beshear because that [is] who won the contest of ideas on the primary stage, I see nothing wrong with that.”
  — Dana Perino (33:18)

• On Populist Solutions during Shutdowns:
  “Anytime the government shuts down, we should begin a tax holiday because taxpayers have already paid for all this crap”
  — Charlie Hurt (27:05)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Iran War Policy & Political Fallout – 00:56 to 12:45
• Domestic Protests (“No Kings” Rally) – 14:00 to 22:49
• Government Shutdown & TSA Pay – 23:43 to 28:18
• Identity Politics & 2028 Democratic Strategy – 31:27 to 38:11
• AI in Academia – 39:42 to 41:49

Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is spirited and sarcastic, laced with pointed quips and running jokes. While overtly conservative in orientation, Dana and Jessica provide nuanced (sometimes critical) perspectives. The exchanges are brisk, opinionated, and heavy on cross-talk, with an emphasis on poking fun at both political opponents and each other.

This summary captures the lively debate, core themes, and memorable exchanges in this episode—serving anyone who wants to be fully briefed on "The Five" without listening.