Podcast Summary: The Five – "Former Doge Staffer Attacked By Mob Of Teens In D.C."

Release Date: August 6, 2025
Host/Participants: Katie Pavlich, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Waters, Dana Perino, Greg Gutfeld
Duration: Approx. 49 minutes

1. Incident Overview

Dana Perino opens the episode by addressing a disturbing incident in Washington D.C., where a former Doge staffer, Edward Korstein, was brutally assaulted during a carjacking attempt by a group of ten juveniles.

"[...] President Trump is threatening a federal takeover of Washington D.C. after a brutal assault left a former Doge staffer in the infamous Big Balls."
— Dana Perino (01:15)

2. Panel Discussion on Crime in D.C.

The panel delves into the escalating crime rates in D.C., emphasizing the role of underage offenders and systemic issues contributing to the city's safety crisis.

• Jessica Tarlov highlights the severity of the attack, noting the involvement of young perpetrators.

  "Somebody from Doge was very badly hurt last night. You saw that a young man who was beat up by a bunch of..."
  — Jessica Tarlov (01:37)

• Jesse Waters shares his personal experience, having relocated from D.C. to New York City in 2011 to escape the rampant crime, pointing out the failures in the local education system and juvenile justice.

  "You have a terrible K through 12 education system. You have an outrageous absentee problem, especially since COVID..."
  — Jesse Waters (02:05)

3. Federal Takeover and Proposed Solutions

The discussion shifts to President Trump's consideration of federal intervention in D.C. to restore safety and order.

• Dana Perino underscores the national significance of D.C. and the implications of its deteriorating safety for American families.

  "D.C. is not just some other city. It's the capital of the United States of America. It really belongs to all Americans..."
  — Dana Perino (03:50)

• Greg Gutfeld counters by presenting crime statistics indicating a downward trend, suggesting that local leadership is effectively managing the situation.

  "Crime is down dramatically. Year over year, 2024 had a violent crime drop to a 30-year low, 35% down..."
  — Greg Gutfeld (09:43)

4. Gerrymandering and Political Implications

The panel critiques recent gerrymandering efforts, particularly focusing on Illinois Governor JB Pritzker's contentious redistricting map.

• Katie Pavlich mocks the irregularity of certain districts, drawing attention to the absurdity of the current maps.

  "Take a look at this. Look at 17 here. It does that... like the stinger on a scorpion down here."
  — Katie Pavlich (32:25)

• Dana Perino criticizes the census count inaccuracies and the inclusion of illegal immigrants in representation metrics, arguing for a more accurate and fair apportionment.

  "They should redo the census and get an accurate vote and not count illegal immigrants for accurate representation..."
  — Dana Perino (34:09)

5. Apple's Massive Investment in U.S. Manufacturing

A significant portion of the episode covers President Trump's announcement of Apple's unprecedented $600 billion investment in U.S. manufacturing, part of a broader economic boom.

• Dana Perino details the commitment, highlighting the creation of over 20,000 American jobs and the establishment of advanced manufacturing facilities across various states.

  "Apple is announcing that it will invest $600 billion... This is the largest investment Apple has ever made in America..."
  — Jessica Tarlov (03:49)

• Greg Gutfeld emphasizes the positive economic indicators, such as the 3% GDP growth in Q2 and the surge in consumer confidence, attributing these to robust business investments.

  "The stock market has been hitting all-time records... Our economy grew at levels that we haven't seen in a long time."
  — Greg Gutfeld (09:50)

6. Immigration Policies and ICE Initiatives

The podcast transitions to discuss President Trump's stringent immigration policies, focusing on the expansion of ICE's capabilities and the establishment of new detention centers.

• Jesse Waters introduces the concept of the "Speedway Slammer," a new immigration detention center in Indiana, and mocks the naming conventions used for such facilities.

  "Speedway Slammer sounds like Alligator Alcatraz sounds kind of scary, but Speedway Slammer is."
  — Jesse Waters (39:26)

• Dana Perino defends the administration's actions, stating that ICE is targeting the most dangerous individuals and restoring its core mission.

  "ICE is arresting the worst of the worst and removing them from America's streets. I like that. I voted for that."
  — Dana Perino (39:08)

7. Technology and AI Concerns

In a lighter segment, the panel discusses the increasing reliance on AI and the public's preference for human interaction, introducing the term "Clanker" as a slur for AI robots.

• Greg Gutfeld brings humor to the topic by mocking the dependency on AI and advocating for human-centric communication.

  "AI could not be this insane. Jesse."
  — Greg Gutfeld (44:26)

• Katie Pavlich warns about the potential dangers of AI gaining consciousness, emphasizing the importance of trusting human interactions over automated responses.

  "Once you inform AI that they are conscious, they will act as though they are conscious because we assume work."
  — Katie Pavlich (44:45)

8. Concluding Remarks and Final Segments

The episode wraps up with brief mentions of lighter topics, including a heartwarming story about a young NFL fan and promotional content for Fox Nation.

"A 12-year-old Make-a-Wish kid got the chance to be an NFL quarterback for the day."
— Greg Gutfeld (49:04)

Key Takeaways:

• Rising Concerns in D.C.: The attack on Edward Korstein underscores significant safety issues in Washington D.C., prompting discussions on potential federal intervention and systemic reforms.

• Economic Optimism with Business Investments: Apple's substantial investment is portrayed as a catalyst for economic growth and job creation, with the panel highlighting positive trends in crime rates and economic indicators.

• Political and Social Challenges: Gerrymandering and immigration remain contentious topics, with the panel critiquing current practices and advocating for more equitable solutions.

• Technology's Double-Edged Sword: While AI advancements offer benefits, the panel voices apprehensions about over-reliance and the need to prioritize human interactions.

This episode of The Five provides a comprehensive analysis of pressing issues, blending serious discussions with the show's characteristic wit and commentary.