Podcast Summary: The Five – "Grand Finale"

Date: October 29, 2025
Host and Panelists: Emily Campagno (Host), Jessica Tarlov, Joey Jones, Dana Perino, Greg Gutfeld
Theme: The episode dives into the week’s hottest political controversies, focusing on President Trump’s Asia trip, U.S.-China relations, the government shutdown, climate discourse shifts, Democratic Party divisions, and lighter news stories. The show’s trademark banter, mockery, and sharp debate are in full effect throughout.

1. President Trump’s Asia Tour & Third-Term Speculation

Segment begins: 00:05

• Trade Wins and Wild Gifts:
  Emily opens with President Trump’s whirlwind Asia tour, highlighting a $350 billion South Korea trade deal and a “shrine” of Trump merch including a crown presented by South Korea’s president.

  • “South Korea’s president showed his gratitude to Trump with a full-on shrine…even a T-shirt with his mugshot.” – Emily (00:05)

• Third Term Trolling:
  Trump rules out a third term, but his and Steve Bannon’s wordplay keeps media and critics guessing.

  • “President Trump is ruling out a third term…What will liberals freak out about?” – Emily (01:10)
  • “He likes to flirt with it…Bannon was doing an interview…he said [Trump] will be president again in 2028.” – Jessica (02:35)
  • Greg jokes South Korea is “trolling” liberals with the gifts, likening the spectacle to political slapstick:
    • “It’s hilarious when you think about 2015…so fitting that 10 years later they’re the ones getting peed on.” – Greg (07:25)

• Panel Opinions:

  • Dana: Politically savvy to end third term talk, shifting focus to real achievements:
    • "The juice wasn’t worth the squeeze anymore to keep trolling...Every other headline gets completely pushed out." (06:00)
  • Joey: Defends South Korea’s pageantry and downplays third term paranoia, shifting conversation to the “deep Republican bench.” (04:44)

2. Government Shutdown: Blame, Pain, and Polls

Segment begins: 10:50

• Lay of the Land:
  With the shutdown at day 29, Democrats and Republicans blame each other as food stamps and paychecks run out.

  • “Republicans in Congress trying to smack some sense into Democratic leaders for keeping the government shut down.” – Greg (10:54)
  • “The Dems are banking on Republicans getting the blame if food banks start overflowing.” – Greg (11:37)

• Polling:
  Surprisingly, Republicans see a net approval boost among both their base and independents.

  • “Republican Congress’s net approval rating…up 12 points versus pre-shutdown…up 8 points among independents.” – Greg (11:37)

• Debate Over Responsibility:

  • Dana: “The Democrats have a very simple message. The Democrats shut down the government. The Democrats could reopen the government. That’s the bottom line.” (12:31)
  • Emily: Humanizes the financial pain as personal, highlighting federal contractors and families living paycheck to paycheck:
    • “I see, for example, a friend…Secret Service, who has a new baby at home…they’re dipping into their savings. Their savings isn’t high yield, so they’re losing that interest…The realities go much further than everyone fixated on Trump.” (14:19)
  • Joey: Analyzes legislative dynamics and SNAP reliance in New York:
    • “Almost 700 million of $8 billion a month comes to New York for SNAP.” (16:40)
  • Jessica: Counters, saying Republicans haven’t negotiated meaningfully:
    • “If you are in charge and you don’t have all the votes that you need, it is incumbent upon you to make a deal.” (18:35)

Notable Exchange:

• “It feels like the key to the Democrat success is other people’s suffering. They’re basically taking their own constituency and holding them…hostage.” – Greg (13:49)
• “With great power comes great responsibility…I heard that once in a great Spider Man movie.” – Jessica (18:35)

3. Climate Change Discourse: Bill Gates Walks Back Doom

Segment begins: 22:03

• Bill Gates’ Reversal:
  Gates’ new memo argues climate change, while serious, “will not lead to humanity’s demise” and condemns climate anxiety and misplaced short-term goals.

  • “He says…although climate change will have serious consequences, it will not lead to humanity’s demise. The doomsday outlook is causing much…to focus on near term emissions goals.” – Dana (22:03)

• Panel Skepticism & Sarcasm:

  • Greg: Lampoons the shift, connecting it to earlier media fearmongering:
    • “Those who questioned the lies were demonized…Trillions of dollars were extorted from taxpayers based on the notion this was an existential threat.” (22:54)
    • “Now we know that’s a lie…People were told to stop having kids…Gates and others are ceding to reality.” (22:54)
  • Emily: Highlights Gates’ fossil fuel holdings and hypocrisy:
    • “Bill Gates himself had $1.4 billion invested in fossil fuel investments. And that’s actually just one of his tax reports.” (24:59)
  • Jessica: Notes Democrats now reassessing their messaging:
    • “There was that memo…surveyed 500,000 people…issues like climate change or LGBTQ issues animate a very small percentage of the base…Bill Gates got out over his skis a bit.” (26:47)

Memorable Quip:

• “Science is settled.” – Dana, mocking a common refrain in the debate (26:34)

4. Karine Jean-Pierre’s Press Secretary Performance & Identity Politics

Segment begins: 29:56

• Critique of New Interview:
  Her New Yorker interview gets panned by both sides, with panelists mocking the frequent invocation of her identity.

  • “Karine name dropped black women ten times and her status as a gay woman twice.” – Joey (30:56)
  • Audio montage: “As a black woman, as a person who’s also LGBTQ, as a black woman…” (30:42)

• Panel Jabs:

  • Greg: “She kind of has identity Tourette’s…preface every statement with a recitation of your diversity resume.” (31:17)
  • Dana: Reflects on her friendliness but poor performance:
    • “She was really awful at a really great job.” (32:59)
  • Jessica: Says KJP’s complaints are irrelevant to wider party issues:
    • “I actually think that Karine Jean Pierre says basically nothing about the Democratic Party, honestly.” (35:10)

5. Lighter Segment: Lab Monkeys on the Loose in Mississippi

Segment begins: 36:55

• Escaped Monkeys Story:
  Panelists riff on reports of lab monkeys with alleged infections escaping a truck wreck.
  • Greg: “Where is the HIPAA for these monkeys?” (37:18)
  • Emily: “I love them…go be free, run wild…wish everyone would have the same carefulness every time they go to a bar in college when every guy in there is probably riddled with STDs too.” (38:41)

6. “One More Thing” – Positive and Quirky News

Segment begins: 39:03

• Giveaways: Win a trip for Fox’s tree lighting event (39:03)
• San Francisco Zoo animals enjoying Halloween treats (39:33)
• Community Kindness: Mozzarella-making class supports a Hoboken shelter (39:43)
• First Responder: Video of a Missouri state trooper rolling a huge hay bale off the road (40:03)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s so fitting that 10 years later, they’re the ones getting peed on.” – Greg Gutfeld (07:25)
• “With great power comes great responsibility…Spider-Man movie.” – Jessica Tarlov (18:35)
• “Those who questioned the lies were demonized.” – Greg Gutfeld (22:54)
• “She kind of has identity Tourette’s.” – Greg Gutfeld (31:17)
• “The pain is optional. They continue the suffering.” – Dana Perino (21:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Trump’s Asia Trip & Gifts: 00:05–07:24
• Third Term & Bannon Comments: 01:09–07:24
• Shutdown Politics & SNAP Debate: 10:50–21:38
• Climate Doom & Bill Gates Memo: 22:03–29:36
• KJP Interview Critique: 29:56–36:43
• Lab Monkeys Escape: 36:55–38:57
• Feel-Good/Quirky News: 39:03–end

Summary Takeaways

• The Five covered President Trump’s showy Asia trip and media speculation about a possible third term, largely ridiculing critics’ alarmism.
• The government shutdown is framed as both a messaging war and a painful, real-life crisis. Republicans are somewhat unexpectedly favored in public polling; panelists fiercely debate blame and solutions.
• Climate change anxiety, fueled for years by figures like Bill Gates, takes a blow with his recent memo dialing back doomsday rhetoric. The panel uses this pivot to criticize both past and present climate activism, contrasting “recreational beliefs” of Republicans with more severe Democratic positions.
• Criticism of Democratic messaging and party cohesion runs throughout, with the KJP interview serving as a punching bag for the difficulties facing the Biden administration and its spokespeople.
• The episode’s tone is irreverent and combative, switching from hard news to lighter stories, featuring the panel’s trademark in-jokes, mockery, and pointed cultural commentary.