The Five 04-06-2026

Summary

The Five – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Five
Date: April 6, 2026
Hosts: Dana Perino, Kellyanne Conway, Kat Timpf, Jesse Watters, Greg Gutfeld, Emily Compagno

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Five centers around the fallout from President Trump’s high-profile military rescue operation in Iran, his escalatory language regarding Iran, and subsequent political and media reactions. The panel then pivots to U.S. domestic politics, lampooning Democratic rebranding efforts and discussing cultural trends—from Easter celebrations at the White House to current debates about comedy and censorship. The show maintains its signature blend of sharp political commentary, humor, and candid exchanges between panelists.

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Key Discussion Points

1. President Trump’s Rescue Mission and Confrontation with Iran

[00:29–05:17; 07:59–09:51]

• Overview:
  President Trump led a dramatic rescue of a downed U.S. airman trapped behind enemy lines in Iran for nearly 48 hours. The mission, involving the CIA, SEAL Team 6, and over 150 aircraft, was showcased as a demonstration of American military prowess.
• Panel Analysis:
  • Jesse Watters: Described the rescue's logistics and Trump's direct threats to Iran if they didn't comply with American demands.

    "In the United States military, we leave no American behind." [01:04]

  • Kat Timpf: Framed Trump’s "madman" persona as strategic, intimidating adversaries into negotiation, and compared the legality of infrastructure attacks to precedents by Clinton, Bush, and Johnson.

    "Bombing power plants is not a war crime. Bill Clinton destroyed Serbia's entire energy infrastructure. Both Bushes took out Iraq's electricity grid." [03:25]

  • Kellyanne Conway: Stressed Trump's transparency and contrasted his leadership with Democratic critics.

    "So many people in our press…are rooting for us to fail. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if we can't rescue him? What if he's dead? Isn't this Trump's fault?" [06:08]

  • Greg Gutfeld: Mocked media fixation on Trump’s language and linked it to a broader cultural shift prioritizing words over actions.

    "It's a far greater threat to hear an F bomb than to face a nuclear bomb. To them, the greater import is always with words and not deeds." [10:13]

  • Emily Compagno: Voiced sympathy for non-interventionists uneasy with Trump’s escalatory language, highlighting the diversity of views within his coalition.

    "People can believe any collection of things they want to believe... and still be concerned when rhetoric starts sounding like escalation." [09:19]

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2. Trends in Democratic Party Messaging Ahead of 2028

[14:32–20:35]

• Rebranding Attempt:
  Axios/NBC reports that 2028 Democratic hopefuls are seeking to shed their more radical recent stances—on issues like DEI, crime, and lockdowns—in favor of centrist appeals, including tax cuts.
• Panel Perspective:
  • Kat Timpf: Sarcastically analogized this flip-flopping to “coming back to the missionary position” after wild experimentation, implying a lack of principle.

    "Greg said the Democrats have gone so crazy and then so full circle they came back to the missionary position." [16:29]

  • Dana Perino: Argued that such rebranding won’t convince voters given structural problems in blue states, especially California’s high taxes and regulations.

    "It's the most highly regulated place in the union. And so everybody is leaving this beautiful location because they can't take the policies anymore." [17:51]

  • Kellyanne Conway: Asserted that Democrats’ real priorities haven’t changed, they're just “changing their packaging.” Cited the absence of support for tax cuts like the GOP’s 2017 tax reform.

    "If the Democrats afford tax cuts, why didn't a single not one of them vote for the Tax Cut and Jobs act...?" [21:27]

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3. Easter at the White House: Presidential Contrasts and Social Media Observations

[24:00–31:17]

• President Trump:
  Praised for his approachable and humorous demeanor at this year’s Easter Egg Roll. Panel emphasizes his directness and ease with children and the public.
• Joe Biden:
  Lampooned for past viral moments needing guidance from the Easter Bunny, and noted as missing from recent Democratic social media posts celebrating Easter—leading the panel to riff on his erasure.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Dana Perino:

    "They’re just basically going to erase him... When somebody would become unpersoned... they'd just be completely [cast] away." [25:14]

  • Kellyanne Conway:

    "Look, I think that we should remember Biden. I know we like to ridicule him... but they want us to forget Biden... because of his policies. This guy did more BLM, more CRT, more ESG, more DEI and less USA." [26:14]

• Humor & Family:
  Light banter about leashing children and who would attend the egg roll next year.

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4. Satire, Free Speech, and Cancel Culture: SNL & Modern Comedy

[32:02–39:33]

• SNL Lincoln Joke:
  The panel discusses a Weekend Update joke suggesting President Trump could face the same fate as Abraham Lincoln. Reactions range from brushing it off as tasteless but ultimately non-threatening, to using it as an example of left-wing hostility.
  • Greg Gutfeld:

    "It’s pathetic because it shows you how uniform they are... New York audiences, those people think they're edgy and rebellious, but when they sit in that chair, they're just like the guy next to them." [33:00]

  • Kellyanne Conway (on audience reaction):

    "It's the audience reaction as representative of other people saying, well, I only wish Butler had gone a different way... That's a disgrace." [35:03]

• Lisa Kudrow's Critique of Modern Sitcoms:
  Lisa Kudrow (“Friends”) is praised for advocating a return to riskier, less self-censoring comedy.
  • Greg Gutfeld:

    "The thing that makes people uncomfortable these days is whenever they shoehorn some kind of obvious message, that's what pisses people off." [37:06]

  • Emily Compagno:

    "Some of the darkest jokes and some of the hardest subjects are the most important ones to joke about... you’re actually taking a healing mechanism away from people that they might need." [38:37]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Trump’s Leadership:

  "He brings us along and we should all be happy about that... This is American might." – Kellyanne Conway [06:25]

• On Media Priorities:

  "We need to be rescued from Trump’s words because they’re so harmful, especially to children. People telling us, you know, protect the children. The same people that were pushing gender mutilation and drag queens at story hour..." – Greg Gutfeld [10:13]

• On Democratic Rebranding:

  "It’s pretty slimy. Usually politicians flip flop, but I’ve never seen a party flip flop, flop, flop." – Kat Timpf [16:16]

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Key Timestamps & Segments

• [00:29–09:51] – Iran rescue mission, Trump’s language, strategy, and media spin
• [14:32–20:35] – Democratic Party’s shifting platform, rebranding critiques
• [24:00–31:17] – Easter at the White House: Trump vs. Biden, media and public reactions
• [32:02–35:03] – SNL “Lincoln” joke, free speech, audience reaction
• [36:28–39:39] – Lisa Kudrow on “Friends,” censorship, comedy and healing power of humor
• [40:28–42:19] – "One More Thing": quirky news stories, international traditions, Easter quiz finale

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Tone & Style

• Language: Conversational, combative, full of quips and wry one-liners
• Dialogues: Regular banter, humorous asides, running gags (e.g., leashes for toddlers, SNL and media "outrage," family anecdotes)
• Themes: Patriotism, skepticism toward media and the left, defense of free speech/comedy, pride in U.S. military

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Conclusion

This episode showcases The Five’s signature style—combining breaking political analysis (U.S.-Iran standoff and rescue), cultural critique (Democratic rebranding, comedy censorship), and humor. The hosts employ both pointed arguments and self-aware satire, painting President Trump as transparent and determined, critiquing Democrats’ image shifts, and championing free speech in comedy. The banter about Easter traditions and social media gaffes underlines their tendency to blend hard news with pop culture and personal anecdotes—making this episode engaging for politics and culture-watchers alike.

Transcript

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[Dana Perino]

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[Kellyanne Conway]

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[Kellyanne Conway]

Hello everyone.

[Dana Perino]

I'm Dana Perino along with Kellyanne Conway, Kat Tim, Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld. It's five o' clock in New York City and this is the five. President Trump delivering a gripping account of a high stakes rescue mission. He authorized a U.S. airman stuck behind enemy lines for almost 48 hours until a massive operation involving the CIA SEAL Team 6 and more than 150 aircraft showcased a striking display of U.S. military power and precision.

[Jesse Watters]

In the United States military, we leave no American behind. He was injured quite badly and stranded in an area teeming with terrorists from the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps. He scaled cliff faces, bleeding rather profusely, treated his own wounds and contacted American forces to transmit his location. They came in so fast and so hard and these guys knew exactly what. Let's go. Come on, get in. Let's go. They came one right after another.

[Dana Perino]

President Trump then sparring with the press in his usual off the cuff style. Listen to how he responded when asked about his threat to bomb Iran's power plants and bridges. If a deal is not struck by 8pm Eastern tomorrow.

[Kat Timpf]

Are you concerned that your threat to bomb power plants and bridges amount to.

[Jesse Watters]

No, not at all. No. No, I'm not. I hope I don't have to do it.

[Dana Perino]

Are you winding this down?

[Emily Compagno]

Are you?

[Jesse Watters]

I can't tell you. I don't know. I can't. It depends what they do. They're very good artists. That's why for 47 years they've been other presidents and they haven't done the job. You called the Iranians crazy bastards. True. What is your response to critics who say that I don't care about Coronavirus? We have 45,000 soldiers in South Korea to protect us from Kim Jong Un. He said very nice things about me. He used to call Joe Biden a mentally person.

[Dana Perino]

And those comments and Trump's language yesterday are sure to make a stir. Take a look at the reaction to a truth social post where the President told Iran to open the effing straight.

[Greg Gutfeld]

If your children are watching, be warned. The President did not use polite language. Open the straight you crazy bastards. It's becoming increasingly clear that that Donald Trump is not mentally well. This was the outrageous Easter Morning Post again on on the the most blessed

[Kat Timpf]

holiday for Christians across the globe.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They don't care about God and Jesus on Easter Sunday. This is what your president. I don't.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Donald Trump chose Easter Sunday to reveal the fullest portrait to date of his instability and lack of self regulation and self control.

[Dana Perino]

Well, Jesse, that is different from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris who looked into the camera and said don't.

[Kat Timpf]

Yeah, Democrats calling Trump crazy helps Trump. It makes him look like he's this madman who's totally unrestrained and unwilling or willing to do anything to win the war. So the Iranians look at that and they go, oh, we better sign something. This guy's really willing to do it all. But I didn't think his tweets were any more bombastic than they usually are. And bombing power plants is not a war crime. Bill Clinton destroyed Serbia's entire energy infrastructure. Both Bushes took out Iraq's electricity grid. Rolling Thunder, North Vietnam. Lyndon Johnson took out the power plants. You do it under the laws of warfare, proportionality, dual use systems. It can be done humanely. But this search and rescue mission, Dana, was the defining moment of the war and it cements American momentum going into Tuesday's deadline and hopefully gives us an upper hand in these negotiations so we can get a cease fire on our terms. This could have been the second Iranian hostage crisis. They could have paraded these airmen on television. It would have made us look not as superior as we appeared to be. And it could have given a huge bargaining chip in peace talks. And all of that now has evaporated. They are just watching that slip away. And now you see this great push for more traffic through the strait. Iraqi oil tankers are getting through there. And it looks like these peace talks have legs. Think about it. We went in there, set up a forward operating base deep inside enemy territory and got out with absolutely no casualties. The Iranians tried to form some national search party to go get these guys. That never happened. They were impotent, humiliated and embarrassed, as the Joint Chief said. And hopefully this is the kind of moment that turns the war in our direction, as it already was.

[Dana Perino]

And we know, Kellyanne, what Iran and the proxies that it supports, like Hamas, like to do with hostages. And when President Trump said, we aren't going to leave anyone behind, that is what separates us from others.

[Kellyanne Conway]

It's what should separate the United States, Dana, from everyone else, no matter who the president is. But we clearly Know who's in charge. Now, look, President Trump cannot be more transparent. He addressed us in primetime on Wednesday, Monday at 1pm Eastern, he's back in the White House press briefing room, and he brings with him General Kaine and John Radcliffe, the head of the CIA who brought us. He just gave us the full narrative of what had happened. Obviously, Iran was humiliated by it. These aren't empty threats by President Trump. He's actually forecasting to Iran a way out, negotiate, capitulate. It's your choice. But he's setting the terms. 155 aircraft going there to rescue. And I just can't help but feel, Dan, I don't want to feel this way, but there's no other way to feel. So many people in our press, so many people in the Democratic Party are rooting for us to fail. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if we can't rescue him? What if he's dead? Isn't this Trump's fault? I've got to say, in the first term there, for four years, you know how this is. They made us deal in so many hypotheticals, constantly hypothetical. What about this? What about that? What about that? What about this? What if Donald Trump takes the wings off of butterflies? Should we have the butterfly on CNN tonight at 9? Ask them how it feels. They never deal with it in the actual. They don't give enough coverage to what actually happened. So the president's out there saying, I don't care about the critics, I'm going to tell us all what happened. I think what he said last week was so important, too. When he reminded us all Vietnam, 19 years, Iraq, seven or eight years, World War II, Korea, three years, he said four to six weeks, we're on track. And when something happens that we weren't expecting, like friendly fire or a mistake, and now this, our airmen having to discharge from the aircraft, he deals with that, too. But he brings us along and we should all be happy about that. I went to the Easter Egg Roll today. I heard him. He is funny. We'll talk about that later, perhaps. But what struck me most is he started the entire thing out by doing two things. He said today is about Christ. It's about religion. It's about celebration, renewal. And then he told everybody what's happening in Iran. This is American might. It's why the people who said defund the police, the adjunct to that is really don't respect and don't resource our military. Donald Trump gave the military his first major pay raise in 10 years. In the first term. And ever since then he has shown a contrast with the defund, the police disrespect the military party. We now have one party that could have pulled this off.

[Dana Perino]

And Kat, one of the things that he said last Wednesday night that got some attention was that the Strait of Hormuz will reopen naturally when this is over and but the deadline is about opening the Strait of Hormuz and he doesn't want the lunatics to hold the world hostage when it comes to oil.

[Emily Compagno]

Right? Yes. I mean with a very strongly worded. I mean if I posted something like that, I do feel like people at this table would hold an intervention for me.

[Dana Perino]

Like I feel I'll come find you

[Emily Compagno]

And I don't have a problem with the F word personally. Seeing so many people on the right say they're okay with the F word now opens up a lot of opportunities for me personally. So I actually love to see that. But I don't think it was just the F word that people were upset about. Some people think it doesn't sound like strength so much as escalation.

[Dana Perino]

Right.

[Emily Compagno]

And Donald Trump did win the election from support from a lot of people who were non interventionists. So they were sick of these forever wars. They didn't want involvement in Iran. So if they hear about bridges and they hear about power plants, whether there's the F word there or not, then they're going to think that that sounds a little bit like escalation which doesn't necessarily make them soft or liberals. It is different, Kellyanne, from I think that there are people certainly who they are wrapped up in. They don't like Donald Trump. And it does can feel like they're rooting against the United States, which is wrong. But it does not apply to everyone. And I think that's an important part of this conversation to distinguish it doesn't make you anything other than what you've always been, which is a non interventionist if you are one of those people. People can believe any collection of things they want to believe. They can be liberal, they can be conservative, they can be independent like I am and absolutely detest the Iranian regime and still be concerned when rhetoric starts sounding like escalation, when what you want to see is the opposite of that.

[Dana Perino]

And imagine being Greg, two things I wanted to ask you. Waking up on Sunday morning and not feeling amazed by the United States military and their capabilities. And the second thing is how many children are watching cnn.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It is the number one show among infants.

[Emily Compagno]

My baby loves it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, exactly.

[Emily Compagno]

It's crying to put it on. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I love the contrast between basic people who've been around for the last 10 years and the media. It's a far greater threat to hear an F bomb than to face a nuclear bomb. To them, the greater import is always with words and not deeds. So you have the military rescues, literally one of their own. But we need to be rescued from Trump's words because they're so harmful, especially to children. People telling us, you know, protect the children. The same people that were pushing gender mutilation and drag queens at story hour and all that. I think Jesse's right about pretending to be crazy. I will take crazy over a cuck any day. And the Democrat Party is a party of cucks. You know, losers can sit and watch their country. Country get screwed over and over again. And this guy, he says, you know what? Maybe if I act a little crazy, that's gonna stop. I like to think about, like, rescues in general. Like, who do you rescue and from what? Under Trump, we spared no expense in rescuing this serviceman. But under Biden, who did they rescue? You know, they were trying to rescue America from its own military, you know, because it was a bastion of bigotry and hate. So the rescue was turned inward. It was about language, words, pronouns that you needed to be saved from. What a change we're experiencing. Who would the Dems choose to save? Who have they saved? I remember the dear Brittney Griner. Wasn't that a great save?

[Dana Perino]

I just wrote that down for you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But, like, you gotta ask them, who would you save? A girl in her locker room? Or the man in a dress shaving his private parts next to her? We know that answer because they boasted about it. Or a woman at risk for rape or murder, or the criminal illegal who is here and has a penchant for such mayhem. We know that they called them sanctuary cities. So they even refused to save us from Joe Biden. Right? They knew he was done and they let him rule the country, run the country, even until election day, when he should have resigned. Once they knew he wasn't capable, he should have gone. The great thing also about this rescue is we have no idea what the racial or political makeup is of the people who did the rescuing. For all we know, they could be trans. But it doesn't matter. They were successful. The reason why they were successful is they weren't splintered into competing identity groups, which you can't really do in the military. And the only way you can win is if you get rid of this hierarchy of the oppressed. Which you saw in corporations, which we're getting rid of. But in the military, you take orders from whoever they are, no matter what they look like. So, you know. Yeah, it felt great. And you know, in war you have these gaps of uncertainty and you fill them with hope. There are people whose baseline is Trump derangement and they fill that uncertainty with pessimism. And they are bummed when it turns out that their own assumptions about the world do not turn out the way they are.

[Emily Compagno]

It is remarkable you were able to work trans into that story twice.

[Dana Perino]

Even tomorrow, if this story continues, I want the producers to put together a montage. Remember when all of the Democrats right after President Trump got inaugurated the second time and they did all those videos saying the F word.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Dana Perino]

And the thing is like, it seemed offensive because they didn't mean it. Yeah, he actually means it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, he's really good with the F

[Emily Compagno]

word for some people. It wasn't about the F word though. It was more about the pulling up bridges.

[Dana Perino]

Yes, I still want to do the montage. All right, Coming up next, find out why some 2028 Democrats are going into the woke witness protection program.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for 15amonth plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Dana Perino]

Switch upfront payment of 45 for 3

[Emily Compagno]

month plan equivalent to 15 per month

[Dana Perino]

required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail], down

[Kat Timpf]

on it.

[Emily Compagno]

Democrats with 2028 dreams apparently want to treat 2020 as just one bad left wing acid trip. Axios is reporting on how some folks who are wing White House runs would like you to just forget many of the radical positions they took years ago. Quote, leaders and would be leaders in the party have shifted their views on border security, DEI crime, climate change, Covid era lockdowns and more, all with an eye on this year's midterms and the 2028 presidential election. But the Internet's forever.

[Jesse Watters]

The bill to form a commission to

[Emily Compagno]

study how to do reparations.

[Jesse Watters]

Would you sign that bill?

[Dana Perino]

When I am elected president, I will sign that.

[Kat Timpf]

Of course I would sign it. I would.

[Dana Perino]

Yes, I would.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Raise your hand if government if your

[Emily Compagno]

government plan would provide coverage for undocumented immigrants. The world is going to end in

[Greg Gutfeld]

12 years if we don't address climate change. A hierarchy of values in this country that diminishes certain people based on their color of the skin. We are over policed as a society that we are investing in police which is not solving problems but making them worse. We made it the law of our land to provide college financial aid to transgender students.

[Emily Compagno]

And rebrand season doesn't stop there. Dems are also trying to code switch as Republicans. According to NBC, tax cuts are the hottest new idea for Democrats. But they still want big hikes for the rich. Jesse, could this work? Do you think the Democrats could convince people? I feel like, I mean the government talks about cutting taxes a lot more often than it does actually do. So do you think that they could

[Dana Perino]

convince people with this?

[Kat Timpf]

Well, I don't know because it's pretty slimy. Usually politicians flip flop, but I've never seen a party flip flop, flop, flop. Greg made an analogy in the commercial break. Permission to use Greg's analogy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Afraid of what I said?

[Kat Timpf]

Greg said the Democrats have gone so crazy and then so full circle they came back to the missionary position.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, that's right.

[Kat Timpf]

They just started missionary position and they experimented with everything. Everything. And I mean everything. And now they are back to missionary.

[Kellyanne Conway]

You have to say that when we see J.B. pritzker on the screen.

[Kat Timpf]

Sorry, sorry. But I mean look at them in the 90s. Like they were, they were pretty strong on crime, on the border, on culture, on energy. They were like a Bill Clinton Democrat. Then they went crazy and now they're trying to go back to normal. Do I trust them? No. Because I think if they get elected they're gonna go full freak again. And now their party is so full of freaks, the freaks aren't going to tolerate the straight edge common sensors and it's going to be a civil war. But yes, I would like to argue with Democrats about how much taxes we can cut. That's an argument I'd enjoy.

[Emily Compagno]

Dana?

[Dana Perino]

Well, I think it's hilarious that they want to pretend that they're pro tax cuts because it's actually structural for them. The reason Gavin, Gavin Newsom is called Governor U haul is because people are leaving the state because it's structural. Why did the energy companies leave the state? Because it's structural. Because of, you know, like when you pay a gallon of gas, part of it is a $0.61 excise tax amongst other things. It's the most highly regulated place in the union. And so everybody is leaving this Beautiful location because they can't take the policies anymore. I don't think that this kind of rebranding works anymore. Partly because there's tapes.

[Emily Compagno]

Right?

[Dana Perino]

And there's the Internet, and we can play them all. But also because this is not where the energy of the Democratic Party is. The energy there is so far left that they think these people who are pretending to be Bill Clinton are not where they want to go. So I think it'll be really hard for some people, like a Rahm Emanuel, who I might say I agree with. That I could do. He's for school choice. Okay. There are several things that I could agree with, but like, the Democratic Socialists of America, they will never go for that.

[Emily Compagno]

Yeah, Greg, 2020 was a wild time, right? Oh, that would just be like, do you support the cops? And if you said, yes, you hate gay people. What? How does that even.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. So the Dems hope we forget that. And we kind of have. Thanks for the montage, by the way. I think that Fox needs to run a montage, like, every hour on the hour, because when you look at how it's, like, fracturing a little bit on the right with Trump, like, you have all these other, like, people getting all angry and podcasts and stuff, it's because the context changed. You know, he's no longer up against Joe or Kamala or this woke monolith because we crushed it. But they're just asleep. He's by himself. So people aren't comparing him to what was and what he was up against. And they're also not thinking about what he will be up against in the future if the Republicans get shellacked in November. And, like, you can think that wokeism is dead, but it's not. It'll just. It's hibernating and it will zombify. It's a zombie. It will come back in a different state. And it's why, Cat, I know you mock me. I continue to focus on trans. Why? Because it was the height of the attack on truth. You know, it was the ultimate woke Marxist flex to tell people that ideology trumped biology. And if you see that point at any. You can't let people forget the trans thing, because that will come back, and it will come back in some kind of worse way that I can't even imagine. And then it will also. There will also be other areas that will resurface with borders and with law and order. Cops. They'll find another way to demonize cops. DEI will come back and we had one president who finally stood up to fight it and we kind of forgot that we have to share the risk. You can't just let them twist out there and we gotta do the job. The candidates have to do the job for November or he will be left with a very small, small party.

[Emily Compagno]

Kellyanne, what do you think?

[Kellyanne Conway]

So the Democrats, it wasn't like they were at Woodstock when they were 19 burning brows or burning a flag like this was a couple of years ago. We saw the same leaders. Like it's not even, oh, I saw the light, I changed my mind. Which is the American way. People can change their mind, that's fine. But they were boasting and posting about it. It wasn't in dark rooms, it wasn't quiet. And if a Democrat, let alone an independent libertarian, a moderate Republican, disagreed, if you didn't affirmatively say what they were saying, you disagreed with them. And I know people who lost friends and family members over not putting the Black Lives Matter square on their Instagram identity or whatnot. But this is the thing. If the Democrats afford tax cuts, why didn't a single not one of them vote for the Tax Cut and Jobs act, the working families bill? Not one of them voted for the one big beautiful bill which included the largest tax cuts for the middle class ever, double the child tax credit, tax cuts for employers, tax cuts for employees, the no tax on tips and Social Security and overtime. Not one Democrat including the 11 Democrats cat that that reside in the districts that they won the day Donald Trump won in 2024. So those are split districts. The other thing is Rahm Emanuel, I was going to raise him and then Dana did. So he gets two call outs today. When he was the head of the DCCC trying to win back the house in 2006 and did so successfully, Nancy Pelosi became speaker. They actively recruited Democratic candidates that were pro life, pro second amendment for tax cuts. Veterans, veterans. They were upset. Small business owners. They were upset with Obamacare and what that had done, I'm sorry, with the excesses of the war. And they were saying it and then they lost it because they all voted for Obamacare and she lost that in 2010. Why do I say that? Not only are they not recruiting anyone like that to match these districts or to match the rest of the other half of America, you're not welcome in the party. The blue dog Democrats, the tax cutting, non regulation, pro small business Democrats are long gone. They are a relic of this party. And if we're going to allow the AOCs and the extremes to govern the party, the energy is on the far left, Dana, you're correct, but so is the money. What was the no Kings protest except a bunch of bored billionaires and their groups shoveling money for you to be anti Trump extreme. This city that we're sitting in, our city voted for a socialist not that long ago. So the energy, the money, and I think more and more of the candidates are going that way. Don't be fooled. The Democrats have not changed their principles. They changed their packaging. They still believe all this.

[Emily Compagno]

All right, well, coming up, we got an Easter bunny showdown at the White.

[Kat Timpf]

John Stamos here in partnership with Cologuard. And I've got to say, so you're 45 or older and at average risk. So what? That doesn't mean your life comes to a halt. No way. You can still do all the fun things you've been doing, but it's time to take your health a little more seriously. Colon cancer screening needs to be on your docket, and it's as simple as the Cologuard test. Don't worry, you got this Foreign.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Letting it roll at the White House Easter egg roll.

[Jesse Watters]

Anybody in the egg industry?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Vote for Kamala.

[Jesse Watters]

A low iq. She's a low IQ person who's a lower IQ person. Fighting or comma. He was incapable of signers in, so they follow him around with a big machine. You know what it was called? An autop. I could sign autograph.

[Emily Compagno]

Donald Trump, you.

[Kat Timpf]

Thank you, honey.

[Jesse Watters]

I agree.

[Dana Perino]

I agree.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Trump also gabbing with reporters multiple times before his big news conference today. It's a far cry from the last guy who needed a bunny to whisk him away from reporters questions. Speaking of sleepy, the Democrats Twitter account skipping Joe Biden in an Easter post about better times at the White House, showing a picture of Barack Hussein Obama, if that's his real name, comes just a week after Greasy pulled the same move, reminiscing about having a president with a working brain. Dana, that is outrageous. I mean, we can make fun of Joe Biden, but them.

[Dana Perino]

Well, it is the sickest burn.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Dana Perino]

Because what they're basically saying is like, you will not be remembered. In fact, we didn't have the guts to tell you to your face that you shouldn't run Again, we don't have the guts to say the words out loud that you should not have announced for a reelection or we should not have asked the Democratic donors to give money to you because we knew you were not going to do it. And so instead of including Him. They're just basically going to erase him. It's like back in the day when you would. When somebody would become unpersoned. Right. And they still would be living in the village, but no one would make eye contact with them and they would just be completely out cast away. It'll be interesting to ask Dr. Jill Biden about this when her book tour comes out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it's like they blocked his number, but they didn't have to because he doesn't even own a phone. That's the thing, Kellyanne. I think they're just assuming they can do this because Joe will never know and nobody in his orbit will ever tell. And if they do tell him, they'll just forget.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Speaking of, that Bunny was a White House staffer. There's a reason. It's not like a random Peter Cottontail. It's an aide to do exactly what he did. Not that Joe Biden's going to fall, but that he may speak. And he started to talk about Pakistan and Afghanistan like, whoa, we don't do that. We can't have the commander in chief talk in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As compared to President Trump, who's holding forth with kids, one of his favorite company to keep about. If he's not lecturing about no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, no cheating, no lying, he's telling them about his plan in Iran. Look, I think that we should remember Biden. I know we like to ridicule him and show him, but we need to remember that Trump ran successfully in part on they broke it, I'll fix it. And the adjunct to that is they ignored it, I'll tackle it. They neglected it, I'll do it. But they want us to forget Biden. Not because of his agility, ability, acuity. They want us to forget Biden because of his policies. This guy did more blm, more crt, more esg, more DEI and less usa. He's why we're in a big mess and this administration is still trying to dig out of it. And I think that's a good reason for us not to. That's a good reason for us to make him front and center and make the Democrats eat known him. Last point. Kamala became the nominee, as we all know, in July of 2024. And then she went silent. I went back and looked at that today. They didn't want her to speak either. So this is a pattern they've got because they're so afraid that the country will figure out who they are. Look, I was there today at the Easter egg. Well, the President just is effortlessly funny. He just hysterically loves being there. He's enjoying it. He was celebrating patriotism and the country's America. 250th birthday coming up at the White House. And the Democratic Party was trying to forget the last president, Joe Biden.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, Kat, next year your child. My child will be over 2. Will you agree to go with my child? Take your child to the next year's Easter Egg Roll at the White House?

[Emily Compagno]

I'll take that as I'm saying yes, because you'll never go. It's a safe, safe bet always to make plans with Greg. Cause he'll never do them.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That is true.

[Emily Compagno]

So you just say, yeah, that's sounds great. 6am See you there. It'll never happen. And you get all the credit. Just really around the table.

[Kat Timpf]

Yeah.

[Emily Compagno]

You know, look, I mean, yes, Trump wins the contest of which president was better at the Easter Egg Roll, but I feel like that's almost an insulting contest to be a part of in some ways, because it was just. I mean, really, when you think of President Easter, you do think of that video. You think of that video of Joe Biden not knowing where to go and, and the Easter Bunny having to. The Easter Bunny having to show him where to go. Which sounds like something like. It sounds like a plot line in a TV show. And it sounds like. When I saw it, I'm like, is this AI? Oh, no, it's real life. But yeah, I mean, the bar was really kind of on the floor there.

[Dana Perino]

Right?

[Emily Compagno]

I mean. But yeah, I mean, he, he. Trump is funny. Definitely.

[Kellyanne Conway]

By the way, all the two year olds are being carried by their parents just to warn you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, well, then I would be.

[Emily Compagno]

Are we opposed to the leash? I've considered it. My son is. And I used to judge people with the leashes and now I'm like, yo. Ah, is it.

[Kellyanne Conway]

I had one.

[Kat Timpf]

You did.

[Emily Compagno]

You were a leash kid.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That explains a lot. Whoa.

[Emily Compagno]

I did not expect you to be

[Greg Gutfeld]

a leash kid, Jesse. You know, Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I'm sure you're aware of that. Are you looking forward to Joe Biden rising from the dead?

[Kat Timpf]

No. But I did find out who was in the Easter bunny costume at the wedding. Hegseth.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Kat Timpf]

Hegseth was the bunny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, War bunny.

[Kat Timpf]

So imagine you're Iran and you're in a bunker and you're looking at Trump and he's telling you, you're gonna bomb me back to the Stone Age next to a bunny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Kat Timpf]

That's nuts. Biden sniffs kids. Trump tells jokes about Biden sniffing kids. I don't see a problem with it. I just remember the last Easter with Biden, he called it Trans visibility Day.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know, I just.

[Kat Timpf]

You know how I like to make stuff about me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Kat Timpf]

So today I had two contractors come to my house, and it was, like, overwhelming. I got nothing done.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They carpenters.

[Kat Timpf]

I'm not gonna go that far. But Trump has, like, the Arc de Triomphe in his hand. He's working on that. He's doing war press conferences. He's got people over on the dark side of the moon, and it's like, just another day coloring. I couldn't do it. That's why I'm taking myself out of running for president.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Good for you. Officially, you are in for the running for the bunny next year.

[Kat Timpf]

I do want to be the bunny. If you guys go to the Easter roll, can I be the bunny?

[Dana Perino]

You're a little tall for the bunny.

[Emily Compagno]

No, I'll be there. I can't wait to spend some time with Greg.

[Kat Timpf]

Greg travels well.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, enough. Coming up, SNL's audience reacts with glee at the.

[JPMorgan Chase Announcer]

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[Greg Gutfeld]

Make the green grass grow all around.

[Dana Perino]

All around.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Make the green grass grow all around.

[JPMorgan Chase Announcer]

Make momentum happen. Learn [e-mail] impact.

[Kat Timpf]

The liberal SNL crowd letting us know how they really feel after Weekend Update anchor Michael Che drops a joke hinting at Trump getting taken out Lincoln style Watch.

[Jesse Watters]

President Trump attended the opening night of

[Kat Timpf]

Chicago at the Kennedy Center.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And I think that's cool that the

[Kat Timpf]

President is going to the theater. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? I mean, it's just a joke. Is it the crowd reaction that people don't like?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think it's disgusting. Too soon? It's been only 160 years. I've made a variation on this joke, like, 100 times. Usually it's an indirect quip, but it's. It's the joke. We don't wanna become like them. Where stuff like that is gonna, like, bother you. It shouldn't bother you. Let it roll off. Remember, they call us Nazis. That's actually worse when they put a target on you.

[Emily Compagno]

Speak for yourself.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, just me. But yeah, okay. I guess the audience is more. But it's not that surprising. It's pathetic because it shows you how uniform they are. And generally, when you think about New York audiences, those people think they're edgy and rebellious, but when they sit in that chair, they're just like the guy next to them.

[Kat Timpf]

Dana.

[Dana Perino]

Well, Saturday Night Live or any humor show can. Can, if they choose, add to political discourse in a way that lightens the room, lightens the mood. Satire is good for democracy. It's good for everybody to be able to make fun of everyone. President Trump gives them plenty of material, but my goodness, if they don't think that they could find things to write about, jokes about the Democrats, there's ignored Biden, they ignored Biden, and they ignored Obama. And what did that lead to? Trump. And so one of the things that they've done is they've buried the dnc, has buried the autopsy because they don't want to have to deal with it. They go to the media that they trust. Rather than getting the tough questions, they go over and over to the same people. And then the third thing is this thing about not being challenged in a way that makes you go, okay, that's kind of funny, but also kind of true. And that actually helps.

[Kat Timpf]

Kat.

[Emily Compagno]

Yeah. I'm not gonna sit here and get upset over SNL making a joke. People can joke about whatever it is they wanna joke about. I agree with Greg. You don't wanna be like the, oh, no, you can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. If someone's intention is just to make a joke, then that intention should be weighed, which is what I've been saying for years and years and years and years, and I'm still gonna say it now.

[Dana Perino]

You wrote a book about it.

[Emily Compagno]

I wrote literally. I literally wrote a whole book about it. Jokes about everything have to be okay. You can't start making rules about, oh, but this. And also, like, let's be honest, is anybody really upset about this? Don't we all have enough things going on in our lives? I would hope.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Kat Timpf]

I had two contractors over today.

[Emily Compagno]

Jesse had two contractors over today. Can you imagine? How is it owning a home?

[Kat Timpf]

By the way, what was the name of the book?

[Emily Compagno]

You Can't Joke about that.

[Kat Timpf]

There you go.

[Emily Compagno]

Everything is funny. Nothing is sacred, and we're all in this together.

[Kat Timpf]

Kac.

[Kellyanne Conway]

I adopt all the comments about censorship and humor. I think Obama left us humorless because everybody's afraid to say anything. And so not only did it give us Trump, but it just made everybody so overly cautious about wanting to say anything, because worse than being something is being accused of being something. For some folks, I will just say the day after Charlie Kirk was not joked about, but was assassinated, you got ran a fascinating poll on September 11, 2025, the day after he lost his life. And they asked people, do you think it's always unacceptable for someone you disagree with politically, politically to die? 77% of Republicans said yes, 38% of Democrats said yes the day after someone they disagreed with died. And one of five Democrats in addition said, I'm not sure. So they had to think about it, which probably means they agreed. So I think the joke is one thing. And free speeches were all there. It's the audience reaction as. As representative of other people saying, well, I only wish Butler had gone a different way or the golf course and Trump had gone a different way. That's a disgrace.

[Kat Timpf]

Okay, coming up next, Phoebe. Remember Phoebe, she goes off on Modern Sitcoms next.

[Dana Perino]

Apparently, you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hat.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Did sitcoms trade jokes for safe spaces? Friends star Lisa Kudrow is slamming today's modern TV shows for playing it way too safe when it comes to comedy, saying in a new interview, quote, I think we need to get back to being able to tell jokes. I feel like we've been too afraid to make jokes that might make people feel uncomfortable. Greg, I feel like your jokes are made to make some people feel uncomfortable.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, I don't seem to remember Friends being really dangerous. Turning on Friends go, I can't believe she said that. I don't believe that. The thing that it makes people uncomfortable these days is whenever they shoehorn some kind of obvious message, that's what pisses people off. And I think that, you know, in the last, like, five or seven years, that became kind of the norm, whether it was about climate or race.

[Dana Perino]

They would just.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just put that in there, and we just got sick of it. I don't even watch sitcoms.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Dana. Death of the Sitcom or.

[Dana Perino]

I was sort of thinking that, like, the political message became the new product placement.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Dana Perino]

So, like, maybe before with product placement, all of a sudden somebody like Lisa Kudrow on, she would pick up a Starbucks and she would drink, and they're like, oh, then Starbucks is advertising. So then political commentary became part of the product placement, and that got. Do you remember all of the sitcoms on April 22nd or the month of April would do some sort of green thing on Earth Day? Remember that it was like so annoying and we would have to answer questions about it at the White House and go through it again. I agree. I don't think they were very edgy. But part of the great thing about watching comedy that is edgy is that feeling of cringe. That's like, it's enjoyable. And I think that's what maybe she's getting. Yeah.

[Kellyanne Conway]

When the audience literally goes like this, like, I can't believe you said that. But you said it. So, Kat, we believe what you say and you are allowed to joke about that. How do you know it's gonna get a laugh?

[Emily Compagno]

Well, you don't always, but I feel like the thing about this is that some of the darkest jokes and some of the hardest subjects are the most important ones to joke about. Cuz then it takes the power away from those things. Like I have a huge chunk in my standup show about my mastectomy, which was not funny.

[Dana Perino]

Right.

[Emily Compagno]

It's a source of immense pain for my life. Sorry to trauma dump on the news, but that's why I need to joke about it. It gives you so much power. And if you start taking certain things is like, oh, no, can't do that, can't do that, can't do that. You're actually taking a healing mechanism away from people that they might need.

[Kellyanne Conway]

Jesse, the old saying is, we're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, we're laughing at him. We're definitely laughing at Jesse.

[Kat Timpf]

I mean, if being funny means you make people uncomfortable, then I'm a comedy genius. You know, friends didn't make people uncomfortable. Black people. Because there was none of them on the show. They should do a show about black people making fun of white people. Is there a show like that?

[Emily Compagno]

I'm pretty sure, yeah.

[Kat Timpf]

It's not on my dial. Where can I see that?

[Kellyanne Conway]

I think one more thing is up next. Let's get out of it. Precious.

[Jesse Watters]

Lord, take my hand.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What happened to her? From the studio that brought you weapons and producers James Wan and Blumhouse. What was our daughter doing in a

[Kat Timpf]

3,000 year old sarcophagus?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Comes a terrifying new vision.

[Dana Perino]

KT was meant to stay buried.

[Emily Compagno]

What really happened to her?

[Kellyanne Conway]

She's different.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I just want my daughter back. Lee Cronin's the Mummy only in theaters April 17.

[JPMorgan Chase Announcer]

Rated R. Under 17, unemitted without parent.

[Dana Perino]

It's time now for one more thing. Greg.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Thank you, darling.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, yes, you're welcome.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, tonight we have Kat Tip, Jamie Lissow, Emily Compagno, Tyrus that's tonight. Let's do this. Greg. Sexy Echidna News, this is Columbus Zoo. Check out this baby echidna.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, gross.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're also called a puggle, Dana. It's a rare group of egg laying mammals.

[Kat Timpf]

Wait, what's going on there?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I see he's just playing around with his little feet. They have powerful digging claws. And they're long. Yes. Is this too much for you, Dana?

[Dana Perino]

It's pretty sexy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You need to broaden your horizons, babe. I'm gonna take you to the petting zoo, show you some real action.

[Kat Timpf]

Okay, that's harassment.

[Dana Perino]

Okay, for something a little more. CNN approved. A small town in south southwestern France celebrated one excellent Easter. This is a giant 13 foot pan to cook 15,000 eggs. It's an omelette that is served to tourists and visitors free of charge. And who says France doesn't like tourists? And the podcast today with Don Stu Stewart up now and available.

[Emily Compagno]

Jesse.

[Kat Timpf]

Well, still kind of reeling from that vile and pornographic animal video. I don't know how I'm going to recover. Let's go around the world, maybe take the Red Jack. We're gonna go to Hungary where villagers are dumping buckets of water on women. It's an ancient ritual. It goes back to pagan times. It's called the watering of the girls.

[Jesse Watters]

Is it really?

[Kat Timpf]

Who are suitable for marriage were doused as a sign of fertility. Where do you find this? Oh, very fertile that way. Where do you find this? Tonight, Jesse Waters Primetime Johnny and the Easter Quiz. Go.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay, who killed Jesus?

[Emily Compagno]

It was the devil.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not the devil.

[Emily Compagno]

I forgot. And I'm so sorry.

[Dana Perino]

Jesus.

[Greg Gutfeld]

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