The Five 05-15-2026

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Five (May 15, 2026)

Overview

This episode of The Five zeroes in on President Trump’s post-China trip push, new political messaging, and the lead-up to the midterms. The panel debates Trump’s new nickname for Democrats ("DemocRATS"), the political implications of his foreign and domestic strategy, government fraud, insider trading, and emerging controversies. The episode is infused with the show's signature banter, playful jabs, and spontaneous humor.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Trump’s New Nickname and Political Messaging (00:04–05:23)

• Segment Summary: The show kicks off with Trump's new nickname for Democrats ("DemocRATS") and how this fits into his broader strategy post-China trip, with the midterms looming.
• Panel Opinions:
  • Jesse Waters pokes fun at the nickname’s simplicity and the tradition of Trump using catchy monikers to define opponents.

    “You know how we know it's going to be a good nickname is when it's on the Fox banner at the bottom of the screen.” (03:03)

  • Joey Jones and Shannon Bream underline how both parties need to sharpen their messaging on economic issues and accountability before the midterms.
  • Jessica Tarlov is skeptical of the seriousness behind these nicknames and refocuses on more substantive policy differences:

    “The idea of the Trump administration running the intervention into fraud is so utterly laughable when you look at how much they are profiting off of their positions..." (05:50)

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2. Fraud Task Force & Bipartisanship on Waste (05:23–11:21)

• Segment Summary: Discussion of VP J.D. Vance’s anti-fraud campaign, and whether the crackdown on government waste could create bipartisan appeal.
• Debate Highlights:
  • Tension rises as Tarlov insists Trump’s administration is profiting, citing controversial pardons and insider dealings, while Gutfeld counters:

    “A Democrat gets into power and then gets rich. Trump was rich before he got there. And he's actually making less money. So your obsession over his profiting is a delusion.” (08:57)

  • Jesse and Greg cite examples of fraud in welfare programs and improper payments, arguing Democrats protect a system rife with abuse:

    “There is a pattern of abuse and it is relentless… The GAO reports, what, $3 trillion in improper payments since 2003…” (09:25)

  • Both sides grudgingly acknowledge fraud is a bipartisan problem, but question whether solutions are sincere or political theater.

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3. Trump’s China Trip: Trade, Iran & Taiwan (12:00–22:18)

• Segment Summary: Panel reviews Trump's China trip, perceived wins on business/trade, handling of Iran, and ambiguous stance on Taiwan arms sales.
• Key Insights:
  • Trump vs. the Press: Trump’s combative approach to "fake news" is discussed with some amusement.

    “I actually think it’s treason when you write like they’re doing well militarily and have no navy, no air force, no anti-anything.” – Trump (13:08, quoted by Jesse Waters)

  • Strategic Ambiguity on Taiwan:
    • Shannon Bream sees coordination between Trump and Rubio on messaging about arms and Taiwan.
    • Jessica Tarlov critiques Trump for not committing to Taiwan’s weapons contracts and is skeptical about any reported breakthroughs:

      “Trump won’t commit to the arms sales to Taiwan, which is the clearest way to say to the Chinese that we respect Taiwan's independence… I'm sure today watching this, the Taiwanese are not happy.” (19:22)

  • China-U.S. Relations: Panel riffs on Trump’s pattern-recognition approach, sometimes veering into jokes about stereotypes, and laments ongoing fallout from Covid.

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4. Local Politics: L.A. Fentanyl Playgrounds & Barbecue Ban (22:18–27:34)

• Segment Summary: Shift to domestic governance, highlighting Spencer Pratt’s public shaming of L.A. leadership over homelessness and "fentanyl playgrounds." Debate spins to proposed barbecue bans and personal freedoms.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Joey Jones on Democratic "mentality:"

    "What can we take away from everyone that might make things better for everyone?" (23:29)

  • Jessica Tarlov pushes for more substantive engagement with the city’s critics:

    “Karen Bass should take some of Spencer Pratt’s ideas and concerns and integrate them into her campaign…” (24:34)

  • Greg Gutfeld criticizes media priorities:

    “All these houses burned down and they're quibbling over where the guy stayed after his house burned down.” (27:34)

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5. Tech & Culture: Driverless Cars, Pet Psychics & Odd Preferences (28:02–32:48)

• Segment Summary: Lighthearted reviews of viral stories including Atlanta’s driverless car mishaps, pet psychics (do dogs miss their owners?), and weirdly beloved smells.
• Highlights:
  • Greg Gutfeld on the future of self-driving cars:

    “It's a testament to the advancement of self driving cars that this is the story that you do on self driving cars.” (28:22)

  • Jessica Tarlov and Shannon Bream share skepticism of pet psychics:

    “I'm not buying it.” – Shannon Bream (32:06)

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6. Fan Mail, Banter & Personal Stories (33:24–36:09)

• Segment Summary: Panel answers audience questions about personal theme songs, home repair competence, and guilty-pleasure smells.
• Memorable Moments:
  • Theme Songs:
    • Joey Jones: “Footloose.” (33:34)
    • Jessica Tarlov: “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” or “Let it Be.” (34:03)
    • Shannon Bream and others riff on their selections.
  • Strange Smells:
    • Shannon Bream admits: “Gasoline.”
    • Jessica Tarlov: “I like skunk.”
    • Gutfeld shares a trivia:

      “Skunk and Sugar Smacks are the same smell.” (36:41)

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7. One More Thing: Closing Fun (37:20–39:54)

• Segment Summary: Quick round of pop culture items: a giraffe with a long tongue, Fox Wine Shop promo, Queen Camilla’s event with detection dogs, a giant alligator, and more.
• Greg Gutfeld delivers a tongue-in-cheek animal report:

  "20 inches long, tough, dexterous and coated in sticky saliva. Much like you, Jesse." (37:23)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “The Democrats, I think we can all agree this is like when every grandfather comes up to us at a restaurant and says, Jesse, I got one for you.” – Jesse Waters (03:03)
• “You lower prices and you take out the Democrats.” – Jesse Waters on fighting fraud (05:13)
• “Your obsession over his profiting is a delusion.” – Greg Gutfeld (08:57)
• “You look at how the Democrats lied about the border... billions in taxpayer fraud, government waste, insane taxes driving businesses out of blue states.” – Greg Gutfeld (10:35)
• “I'm not asking for any favors because when you ask for favors, you have to do favors in return.” – Quoting President Trump on Xi/Iran (Joey Jones, 13:27)
• “If a white candidate had said they were going to ban barbecues, do you know what would happen?” – Greg Gutfeld (27:34)
• “It's a testament to the advancement of self driving cars that this is the story that you do on self driving cars.” – Greg Gutfeld (28:22)
• “I'm not buying it.” – Shannon Bream on pet psychics (32:06)
• “Footloose.” – Joey Jones, theme song choice (33:34)

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Tone & Atmosphere

• The tone remains lively and contentious, but good-natured, with real policy disagreements punctuated by quick-witted barbs, pop culture references, and self-deprecating humor.
• Frequent playful jabs (especially between Greg and Jessica) create a conversational and at times irreverent vibe.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Trump's New Nickname and Messaging: 00:04–05:23
• Fraud Task Force & Partisan Profits Debate: 05:23–11:21
• China Trip/Foreign Policy: 12:00–22:18
• Local LA Issues/Spencer Pratt: 22:18–27:34
• Driverless Cars & Pet Psychics: 28:02–32:48
• Fan Mail & Banter: 33:24–36:09
• Closing Pop Culture ("One More Thing"): 37:20–39:54

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Conclusion

For listeners seeking to catch up, this episode offers heated debate on national policy, quirky side stories, signature banter, and a revealing look at how current events are being spun leading up to the 2026 midterms—equal parts politics, pop culture, and the personal quirks of America’s most-watched pundits.

Transcript

[Jessica Tarlov]

All right.

[Shannon Bream]

Hello, everyone. I'm Shannon Bream along with Joey Jones, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Waters and Greg Feld. It is five o' clock in New York City and this is the five. President Trump heading home from his high stakes China trip, switching from foreign policy wins to his domestic agenda. With the midterms already front and center on his mind, you know he loves it. The President unleashing a brand new nickname for his political opponents.

[Jesse Waters]

I came up with a new name. I don't know if I should. I know which one it is. Democrats. It's D. Get rid of the B. So you're only changing one letter. E goes and the U comes.

[Shannon Bream]

Well, the Democrats, not surprisingly, not taking kindly to this new nickname. Left wing firebrands like AOC and James Carville are trying to convince voters. They say the President does not care about you. Watch this. I think that people can't feed themselves. They're having a hard time affording their groceries. President has openly said that he doesn't care or doesn't think about the financial situations of everyday Americans at all. Then tried to take $1 billion more, I mean more out of our health care and put that towards the ballroom.

[Jesse Waters]

And I got news for you, Mr. And Mrs. Joe Six PAC or whoever you are out there, he doesn't give a about you. He just cares about making all the money he can as fast as he can. And people, I don't realize that are just, just woefully stupid.

[Shannon Bream]

Well, the President is proving he is working for voters, he says, by saving taxpayer money with his fraud task force. This is led by Vice President J.D. vance, who yesterday argued voters deserve leaders who fight fraud, he says, instead of bankroll it.

[Joey Jones]

But here's the thing, my friends.

[Jesse Waters]

Because you all work hard, because you all pay your taxes, because you do

[Greg Gutfeld]

things the right way, and it is time to have leadership in Washington that treats you the right way and protects those hard earned tax dollars.

[Shannon Bream]

Okay, I'm already having to to mediate a dispute here before we even get started. All right, Joey, let's start with you.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yes.

[Shannon Bream]

Because you're not part of the dispute. I'm going to let them keep fighting while you kick us off. What do you make about the messaging? Because both parties are going to have to do better on this going into the midterms if they hope to capture the American people.

[Joey Jones]

Yeah, I love that. President Trump is like, well, let me spell it for you. So you know how it works, right? He's like, it's Democrats. And I guess he thinks they're kind of dumb. So let me explain to you why that works. I don't know what their messaging is on the left. I know on the right, the messaging is essentially just stacking up the wins that President Trump has because the House hasn't really brought them to President Trump in meaningful ways, or at least Congress hasn't. The Senate has fallen asleep on a couple of big ones. But President Trump has done a lot. He's gotten a lot done. And I think that you come off this China trip, things like that, people say, what are the wins? Well, what were the concessions? Because sometimes that is the win. I think President Trump is going to carry the party again. I really do. And I hate that. I hate that for Speaker Johnson, a little bit less so for the Senate, But I think President Trump's carrying the party well.

[Shannon Bream]

And Jesse, everybody on the right says he is the best person to have on the ballot. He's the best advocate out there for maga. He's not on the ballot, though. Would you like to see him more on the campaign trail?

[Joey Jones]

Sure.

[Jesse Waters]

I like campaign trail Trump. I also like the back of Air Force One Trump. There's just so many different versions of Trump that are funny. But nickname Trump is good. The Democrats, I think we can all agree this is like when every grandfather comes up to us at a restaurant and says, jesse, I got one for you. Okay, Democrats, you got to use that on Jessica, but make sure I get credit. Okay, I got you. You know how we know it's going to be a good nickname is when it's on the Fox banner at the bottom of the screen. That's when you know when you see a tampon or a pencil neck, that's when you know it's made it. So we'll see. Now AOC is whining about America being beautiful again. What's wrong with clean pools or an ark for our birthday or a ballroom? Greg and I were at a state dinner and it was downright claustrophobic.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Terrible.

[Jesse Waters]

I had no room to breathe. I don't know, but we need a lot more space. At least we're spending money here in America. Democrats are spending it on, like circumcision festivals in Kazakhstan. Okay, spend it here next time. You know where AOC asked for money for her earmark In Queens. She wanted a half a million dollars for an anti racist oyster reef. Okay, I looked. There's no oysters for sale off the coast of Queens. And what's racist about oysters? The crackers. We can just call them oyster Caucasians. Jessica also the fraud thing totally neutralizes the Democrats attack on affordability. When you have Somalis pirating billions of dollars or 800 fake hospices in California or this major food stamp ring that the DOJ just cracked open, that's big. So we're going to rock with that, because fraud is kind of what keeps the Democrat machine moving. You take out the fraud, the machine collapses. We could actually kill two birds at one stone. You lower prices and you take out the Democrats.

[Joey Jones]

Well.

[Shannon Bream]

And nobody likes their money being spent on fraud. That's not why we all go to work and pay taxes. So it seems like it could be something that could have bipartisan buy in, Jessica. I mean, it seems like.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Well, Doge did at the start. Well, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No buy in.

[Shannon Bream]

But now you.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yes, it was. Everyone said, we want to weed out fraud, waste and abuse.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And then. And then you torched Elon Musk's cars.

[Shannon Bream]

Jessica did not personally charge.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I saw her. She had the big pail of gasoline.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That wasn't me. There is a woman online who looks exactly. Who had a Molotov cocktail. No, everyone was pro Doge until they saw the fact that they were just removing inspectors generals that were investigating Elon Musk, for instance, or cutting civil service jobs that you then had to give back to people because that's how the government actually runs. The idea of the Trump administration running the intervention into fraud is so utterly laughable when you look at how much they are profiting off of their positions and off of the American people. Trump literally did say, I don't think about the financial situation. I don't think about anybody that will be in all of the ads.

[Shannon Bream]

But wait a minute. Let's give some context to that, because

[Jessica Tarlov]

he was asked, he was saying about the war, right? And then saying.

[Shannon Bream]

And he said, he said, making sure they don't have a nuclear weapon.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Right. And then people heard that because they don't like this war. They don't think he's listening to them. They don't think he cares about their cost of living. So they heard the part where he says they can't have a nuclear weapon. And also, I don't care how it's hitting you at home. I don't care about your gas prices. I don't care about how much.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know what he said.

[Shannon Bream]

What he said that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think what he said it is

[Jessica Tarlov]

what is under what you heard.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't think it's what you heard. It's not what he said.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Have to. You have to talk about how much money Trump and his family and cronies are getting off of the office. That's what you say.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You're going from there to there and

[Jessica Tarlov]

then there all the same place. If they're talking about fraud, you're talking about Donald Trump commuting sentences and pardoning people who have done billions of dollars in Medicare fraud like Philip asked for.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's not right.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's why he was convicted. That's how you talk about Donald Trump. He made $3 billion last year. He moved up 100 this year than

[Greg Gutfeld]

he did when he was out of office.

[Jessica Tarlov]

He's the president.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You're supposed to make any money.

[Jessica Tarlov]

$400,000. I know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He was a billionaire and a businessman before he was president, unlike Obama.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Sell us out to people from. For the. Is the highest bidder. There is a for sale sign on the White House. The crypto scam.

[Shannon Bream]

No, but this is, this is.

[Jessica Tarlov]

This is part of it. When you hear that way from you just.

[Shannon Bream]

Vice President was talking about yesterday, which was, we can work with states. Let's try to work with Democrats and governors and whatever to try to go after this. Because everybody agrees there is fraud within the system that would save everybody money if you get it under control. So I think we need to talk about that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I'm cool with that. I said that. I said Tim Walz was in trouble for this. You should weed out the fraud. But we just, I mean, we just saw that Donald Trump in Q1 made at least a $220 million of purchases in stocks. Paramount, Netflix, Warner Brothers, Palantir.

[Joey Jones]

So did I.

[Jesse Waters]

Everyone but you're talking should not be

[Shannon Bream]

able to do that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You want to talk about Nancy Pelosi's talented gelato drawer?

[Shannon Bream]

Okay.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You don't care what's going on here.

[Shannon Bream]

It's important to point out also that they cannot get this stuff passed on. Capitol Hill, people, people show on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

And he just said, oh, that's a good point.

[Jesse Waters]

No, that's not what I said. I like your glasses.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You did not. They are great, beautiful glasses.

[Shannon Bream]

But also, can we talk about the fact that Capitol Hill can not get it together on insider stock trading and all that kind of stuff? All these. So many of them.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The first president to go there.

[Shannon Bream]

And there are thousandaires and they leave as millionaires in a way on a salary that doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Jessica Tarlov]

So $1 billion in a year.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You don't even have to ask me a question. Okay. First things first. A Democrat gets into power and then gets rich. Trump was rich before he got there. And he's actually making less money. So your obsession over his profiting is a delusion. It's what you hear.

[Joey Jones]

First.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You say, here's how they're profiting. Then you switch to his foreign policy priority where he's saying Iran is more important right now than the gas prices. That was your justification. Then you move back. It was so convoluted. Look, libs have obsessions over things like ballrooms when taxpayers aren't paying for it. Meanwhile, as Jesse points out, to make this clear, because this is going to come back. There is a pattern of abuse and it is relentless. You mentioned Minnesota, the California hospice scam. You have the, the ghost, what do you call them? The ghost company fraud in Ohio. But the one that is going to blow your mind. And is the, is the, is the Jenga piece in all of this. The GAO reports, what, $3 trillion in improper payments. 3, $3 trillion since 2003 because of weak controls over entitlement programs, Medicaid and Medicare. Now you know why they circle their wagons whenever you approach and you say, you know what, can we look at this? They call you a fascist. You're trying to starve people. You're trying to take money out of their health care. No, they're protecting their profit. It's not about people. You know, Republicans have to go hard on these issues because, because these are the issues they went on. And it's not finished by a long shot. You look how the Democrats lied about the border trans. Obviously, fraud, crime, and President Biden. The horrible results of far left policies can be ads in and of themselves. Dead women, exploited kids, perverse dogma, billions in taxpayer fraud, government waste, insane taxes driving businesses out of blue states. The point that I'm trying to make is that we just overturned the rock and watch how they're reacting. We overturned the rock. Let us finish the job. We got a. Almost swore. We got to like, we gotta clean that rock or it's all. The rot is gonna return and you're all gonna be screwed.

[Shannon Bream]

And honestly, this could be bipartisan.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It could be because enough of the bipartisan American people.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Have you been around Democrats enough?

[Shannon Bream]

I have Jessica and we love her very much. But I gotta tell you, these two came in hot today. That's why I was refereeing it before we even got started. It will continue, Marshall. Coming up next, Beijing Bonanza. President Trump targeting and touting breakthrough on business and trade after his historic China trip.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Go down and go. All right.

[Joey Jones]

President Trump wrapping up a three day diplomatic trip in China today. And he brought home the Beijing Bacon 47, announcing breakthroughs on business and trade.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But he made it clear that when

[Joey Jones]

it comes to Iran, we don't need China's help.

[Jesse Waters]

I don't need favors. I think he will, I think, automatically. He'd like to see it opened up. He gets about 40% of his energy or oil from that. From the straight, we get none.

[Joey Jones]

Yeah. In classic Trump form, he also revealed how Che's physical stature surprised him.

[Jesse Waters]

He's central guessing. You couldn't find a guy like him, even his physical features. You know, he's tall, very tall, and especially for this country, because they tend to be a little bit shorter.

[Joey Jones]

But Xi wasn't the only person the President had to battle during his trip. Watch him rip a New York Times reporter a new one over the Iran war.

[Jesse Waters]

You did it for 38 days. No, we did. And you did not get the political changes in Iran? No, I got. I had a total military victory. But the fake news guys like you write incorrectly. You're a fake guy. You should know better than. You know better. Your editors tell you what to write and you write. And you should be ashamed of this. I actually think it's treason when you write like they're doing well militarily and have no navy, no air force, no anti. Anything.

[Joey Jones]

All right, yeah, just some casual treason there, Jesse. His quote was, I'm not asking for any favors because when you ask for favors, you have to do favors in return. I thought that was a hell of a quote. Like, I thought that was the mindset I want my president to have in regards to going to Xi on Iran.

[Jesse Waters]

Anybody in a relationship understands that.

[Joey Jones]

That's right.

[Jesse Waters]

So both countries want the straight open. The Chinese want it more than us because they get most of their oil or a lot from there. But we have more leverage because they need tariff reduction, they need chip control reduction, and they want less Taiwan funding. But we need stuff from them, too. So we don't want to look needy. They don't want to look needy. So if anything happens, if it happens at all, it'll be done in secret. But right now it looks good because Carg Island's at max capacity and they're leaking oil all over. We'll see. If he wants to be patient and let economic fury stay with it or another love tap, I have no idea. But the treason thing's interesting. Two reasons why they did it. To make Trump look incompetent and to make morale go down in the military. Domestically hurts the president in negotiations with the Iranians. The Iranians don't even know how many missiles they have left. The centcom commander just testified under oath that that stat wildly inaccurate. But there are people within the government that want to put something like this out there to make Trump have to go back and go to war. There's people that want Trump to go back in, and that is a sleazy way to do it.

[Joey Jones]

So when we talk about Taiwan, we move from Iran to Taiwan. I thought this was really interesting. President Trump's messaging is basically, you know, we kind of talked about it. No movement. And then Marco Rubio goes out and says, no, we have not changed a little bit. More stern messaging. I don't think that was by accident. So, you know, what's your take on that?

[Shannon Bream]

Very coordinated messaging, I think. And you heard the president pushed again and again on that saying, like, I'm not going to tell you. And they said, well, what did you say to President Jesus? Like, why didn't tell him either? Like, I'd like to keep all of my cards close to the vest so I have options if something does happen. There've been a lot of questions about listen, for years, even under the Biden administration, it was something I asked President Biden about, that we weren't fulfilling these tens of billions of dollars in contracts that Taiwan has with us. We're not giving them weapons, they're paying for them, but we haven't fulfilled those. And I think you'll see more of this in Brett's conversation with the president tonight about why things are not being fulfilled. Could they be fulfilled more quickly with Taiwan? But that's always China going into this said that is their issue. That is what they wanted to talk about. And as for that reporter on the plane, one thing I think people love about President Trump is you never wonder how he feels about an issue or about you.

[Joey Jones]

Yeah.

[Shannon Bream]

And I don't think he's getting the White House branded little M and Ms. They give you on Air Force getting those.

[Joey Jones]

Greg, it is kind of funny. It's almost like sitting here watching you and Jessica argue. It's like he tells him what he thinks about him, but then he still answers the questions.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He answers two.

[Joey Jones]

I think it's two or three questions in a row from reporters that he says he doesn't like. So it's like a professional insult. It's almost a distinctly New York thing for a guy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's definitely a New York thing. That's the beauty of this. He's a contractor for Queens. But I think we're missing the real story here, and it's Tall Asians.

[Joey Jones]

I mean.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. You're gonna tell me he's a good driver? I mean, they don't play golf, do they?

[Jesse Waters]

Some of, yes. Japanese.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's Chinese.

[Jesse Waters]

The South Koreans.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay. Anyway, Trump. The reason why I bring that up. And this is a callb back to the A block, Jessica. So put your. Put your debate pants back on.

[Shannon Bream]

She's happy to go there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Trump is a pattern recognition machine. Wow. This Chinese fella is tall. Most Chinese fellas aren't. And that is an evolutionary trait. You recognize patterns and it helps you do what? Predict outcomes. That's why people who can see around corners and you can't is because they look at patterns and figure it out. Democrats, Jessica, have pioneered the anti pattern recognition machine. Oh, wait. There's a pattern of violent illegals committing murders in the United States. There's a pattern of men in wigs invading safe spaces. There's a pattern of rhetoric fueled violence coming from the left. There's a pattern of conservatives being targeted, but never leftists being targeted for violence. There's a pattern of wealthy industries leaving states that are punishing the wealthy. So. But we see those patterns. Democrats see those patterns, and they tell us it's racist to see those patterns. You cannot look at reality the way we look at it. He just happens to have his pattern recognition machine on all the time. So even when he's looking at that reporter, he doesn't see that reporter's specific question. He sees it as part of a pattern of left wing bias that is meant to undermine, you know, the things that happens. And he's been burned so many times. You know, I just want to make another point. You know, there are a lot of good stuff I'm sure happened here, the fentanyl stuff, industry, whatever you want to call it. Did we forget Covid? This is like, it wasn't like, 50 years ago, it was five years ago. And it did. It killed a million Americans. It did damage. Damage to our education system, our psyche, and it's ongoing. Like, did we just decide that. That we're not going to talk about

[Jesse Waters]

it seems like a secret we're both keeping because Fauci kind of funded it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that what I mean? I'm wondering, like, we didn't get any. That's the chip that we have. That's a billion people.

[Jesse Waters]

That's the card to play.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Anyway, well, I mean, Trump did mention

[Joey Jones]

it briefly in one of his answers and said, you know, our relationship was good. Then Covid happened, and I blame them. Jessica said he did. He Called it the China virus. It hurt some people's feelings at the time, but, you know, come to find out it was true. Looking at this trip, you know, he brings home some trade deals, you know, they don't, I guess, go. We don't make any concessions on Taiwan and we don't ask anything for Iran. Is it a successful trip in your eyes?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Hold on. I just need to put my pants back on because I had taken them.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, I said, I said debate.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The only pair I come with, Greg.

[Joey Jones]

I did not know where.

[Jessica Tarlov]

One pair of pants per day. That's it. He did mention Covid, you're right. And I think it was just to get it on the record. In terms of these trade deals, though, there's no formal commitment. And the Chinese readout, it says we are currently consulting on details. So maybe some soybeans, maybe Boeing gets. It's a fraction of what they went in wanting to get. So maybe those come through. But we do know that Donald Trump has told us, what, 18 trillion or something like that in deals, and those things haven't come to fruition. The Taiwan part of this, I think, is what is most important. So you say, you know, he didn't really say anything. It's a big deal that he stood there and he said nothing. And in the previews of Brad's conversation with the president that we're going to be seeing in the 6 o' clock hour during special report that Shannon referenced, Trump won't commit to the arms sales to Taiwan, which is the clearest way to say to the Chinese that we respect Taiwan's independence. I'm sure today watching this, the Taiwanese are not happy. He also, in the interview with Hannity, and this is a big deal for the America first set, he said the Chinese should be able to buy farmland here and that we should have 500,000 Chinese student visas. I thought the whole deal with this was get off our land and that it's America first. These should be our students. Now, I think it's reasonable to have people who are deserving of getting those visas who get into these universities and they come and spend a ton of money here. Right. It's not just their tuition. They keep these college towns alive with it. But that runs in the face of everything.

[Joey Jones]

Did you go to a college town that's kept alive with Chinese money?

[Jessica Tarlov]

No, but do you know what I'm saying? That when rich kids from other places come from abroad to spend money here,

[Greg Gutfeld]

colleges favor them because it's so bad.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Well, then you didn't like what he said that you don't think we should give it 500,000.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I was agreeing with that, but.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Right. So I know. Oh, no, I got it. Because my pants are on. It allows me to recognize that. I'm saying you should go a step further. There was also no evidence, at least from what we're hearing on the Chinese side, that there were the concessions that the White House side, that Trump said about Iran, that, you know, they say that Iran can't have a nuclear weapon and that the Street.

[Jesse Waters]

I like how you believe China, but you don't believe our president.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I. No, I don't.

[Jesse Waters]

I mean, this is a communist. And you don't believe the President of the United States.

[Joey Jones]

I'm sitting next to him.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't believe that.

[Joey Jones]

Tim Waltz, Democrat, right here.

[Jessica Tarlov]

No, I don't believe that the Chinese, who have been selling arms and get 90% of their oil from the Iranians, suddenly had a come to Jesus moment because Trump showed up and bowed his head to them and said, you know what? You're right. We're going to figure it out. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy American oil instead. I don't believe that.

[Joey Jones]

If China.

[Jesse Waters]

Maybe Trump is making debate, Pam. Maybe he's making it. And you are right about everything.

[Joey Jones]

If China needs a run that bad, sitting this one out, that's still a win for us.

[Jessica Tarlov]

They're not sitting it out, though.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay.

[Joey Jones]

All right. Up next, Spencer Pratt showing off more of Karen Bass handiwork in Los Angeles. Like this Fentanyl playground.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Nice.

[Jesse Waters]

I'm going to mess around. Yeah. Spencer Pratt continues to smoke the LA leadership that burned down his house simply by pointing a camera at the things Karen Bass doesn't want you to see in la, like her Fentanyl playground. This is US Care park right here.

Look at this.

And I said, I think where all

[Greg Gutfeld]

the fentanyl addicts and dealers just post

[Joey Jones]

up next to it.

[Jesse Waters]

And then that's the part. And Spencer's other rivals flaming out Nithya Rahman. Yet like the noodle, reportedly floating a backyard barbecue ban during certain high fire danger days across the city. But Spencer says, come and take it. That barbecue ban going into the summer, going into America's 250th, that's just so American.

[Joey Jones]

But that's the Democrat mentality, though, right? Like, what can we take away from everyone that might make things better for everyone? I mean, you look at guns, freedom of choice, you know, health care, whatever it is, like, what can we take? What can we Take your.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We don't want freedom of choice.

[Joey Jones]

Of health care.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah. Like women's health care.

[Joey Jones]

That's.

[Jessica Tarlov]

No, that's that away.

[Joey Jones]

I mean, if you want to talk about abortion, that's something different.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It is women's health care.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, it's not.

[Joey Jones]

It's not great health care for the female babies, but that's a different thing. My point about. Why you gotta be like that? Why you gotta be like that? It's Friday, Jessica. Friday. I was on a roll.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My point is, can't afford a barbecue.

[Joey Jones]

Spencer Pratt understands that there are real solutions to entire neighborhoods burning down. And it's not stopping you from being able to water your grass or have a backyard barbecue. It's being responsible and not leaving the coffers empty. It's having people in charge of the fire department. That doesn't say things like, well, if your husband's too big for me to carry, that's a him problem.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah.

Jessica, I don't think you agree with Spencer Pratt on some stuff, although you should, but he is out working your people, like, running circles around them.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Totally. And I would like to lodge a complaint with your social media manager, whoever they are, because on your Facebook account, there was a clip from us discussing Spencer Pratt on Wednesday. That cut out the part that I said, which is, Karen Bass should take some of Spencer Pratt's ideas and concerns and integrate them into her campaign, perhaps offer him a deputy mayoralty position. But instead, I just looked like a lunatic on your Facebook and it got sent to me.

[Jesse Waters]

Well, you have. You have Johnny's number if you're watching.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That was rude. Listen, I think that the councilwoman, if the Democrats want to win, the councilwoman should drop out and consolidate the support behind Karen Bass. I imagine that is what is going to happen. But we are getting close to June 2, which is the day.

[Jesse Waters]

What do you think?

[Shannon Bream]

Well, what I love about Spencer Pratt is, like, listen, he doesn't try to hide the Hills thing and the fact that he was a villain. He's like, I'm just gonna use my villain powers for good now. But he's not like, I've evolved past reality tv, like, I went to the fellowship at Harvard or something like, no, he's always been Spencer Pratt. And I think authenticity is something that people like and they feel like these videos when he goes out in the neighborhoods and he's just talking to him. But I feel a lot like the way that President Trump changed politics and campaigns back in 2015, where he just started going around using Twitter now. X. He Completely changed the conversation in the way that he communicated with people. I think we'll always look at the Spencer Pratt thing, however his campaign goes, and know that he was the one who used AI In a way that changed political campaigns.

[Jesse Waters]

Those have been good, Greg.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It blows my mind.

[Jesse Waters]

So this.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This lady Roman is proposing a barbecue ban in L. A and nobody's calling her racist. I mean, what's next? Hip hop? Big booties? If you would. If a white candidate had said they were going to ban barbecues, do you know what would happen? Do you know? You know what would happen? It's also incredible to see our new political journalists at TMZ kick into gear over Pratt staying at a hotel. It was their first election issue ever, and it wasn't about crime, homelessness, drugs, or thousands of homes burning down. It's that Pratt lived in a hotel and at a trailer, but he lives in the hotel because he didn't have electricity. And he filmed a campaign ad and they just went at him so hard. They were like Bob Woodward. When in fact, I don't know why TMZ did this. I'm a little bit shocked. But I don't want to get my politics from tmz. I want fake kidnapping notes that exploit tragedy, and I want upskirt photos of Tara Reid tripping on her way out of Chateau Marmont. But I don't need you to critique campaign ads, especially when you've never done it before. You never go up to Democrats. It was such a. I want to know who sends the bat signal out. Jessica. Is it you?

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's my. They've been great though, on the D.C. beat.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

And they're going after Democrats and Republicans.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, they sucked on that one.

[Jesse Waters]

I mean, serious Democrats.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just the huge, big story. All these houses burned down and they're quibbling over where the guy stayed after his house burned down.

[Jesse Waters]

Hey, Harvey. Good to see you. Love you, Harvey. The Fastest is up next.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Welcome back. It's Waymo's gone wild. Residents are fuming after a never ending parade of driverless cars flooded their Atlanta neighborhood. Dozens of empty vehicles all heading to the same cul de sac, then just looping it over and over again like a glitch in the matrix. Do we have any Waymo enthusiasts? Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. It's a testament to the advancement of self driving cars that this is the story that you do on self driving cars. There are what, 34 to 43,000 deaths per year when people drive their cars. It's just this is a strange but indirect consequence of a life Saving technology. Absent thousands of deaths, we obsess over the weird, somehow rare behavior of these cars. And maybe one fatal accident. We always focus on the thing that is there, which is this weird circling car. But we ignore what's not, which is what will happen in the Future will eliminate 40,000 deaths. What's the complaint?

[Joey Jones]

Oh, there's a lot of complaints, especially with these cars in Atlanta. If you actually go to Atlanta, you can't use GPS there because they change the direction of the roads every day because they're always doing road work. And there's thousands of videos. Just Google or go online to Waymo Atlanta. These cars turn down the wrong road every day. They get stuck, they get confused. It becomes a big hazard. Not to mention, Atlanta is the worst traffic in the south, at least. Anyway. But here's the deal. Like, you know, I mean, women drivers, Waymo. Like, I don't know, you know, we

[Jessica Tarlov]

need to help out Asian drivers now. Women drivers.

[Joey Jones]

I mean, I'm just saying, you know, like, if you're. If you're willing to be in a vehicle like that, which is not a real vehicle because it's not a truck, then maybe just go ahead and get in that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jesse, are you pro Waymo?

[Jesse Waters]

No, I've never taken a Waymo and I never will.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You guys sound like people who will never do the Internet. I'm not going on the Internet. Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Would you drag. You have a driver. Okay, you're not going to do this.

[Joey Jones]

You can't see.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You don't.

[Jesse Waters]

I'm not going to sit there and. Exactly. I don't.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Don't blame me for having a good agent.

[Jesse Waters]

I have driver drivers, too. My point is, I won't choose to go in a driverless car. I want a guy in there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Be the last person.

[Joey Jones]

But.

[Jesse Waters]

But no, I will not.

[Shannon Bream]

No. I love the idea of not having to talk to somebody when I get in the car. I love the idea. One of these drove by me the other day in D.C. and I looked over and kind of freaked me out. But I was like, I like that. You don't have to make any effort to make conversation with anyone.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's also good for teens before, like, when they can go out, but you don't have to take them, like, to the mall and things like that. Put them in a Waymo. Up next, does your dog really miss you while you're on vacation? Greg, people are hiring pet psychics to communicate with their animals, to relay their thoughts, feelings, and even their vacation preferences. Jesse, do you want to know what rookie is Thinking while you are away.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah, he misses me dearly. But that's okay because we put him in this really nice kind of doggy hotel and it's a fortune. Yeah, but you got to do what you had to do. And. And I know he misses me because when I come home, he happy sprinkles. You know what that is?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, and you're so excited.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah.

[Joey Jones]

That's your dog.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah.

[Joey Jones]

Okay.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Do that after child.

[Joey Jones]

I know.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay. It's not a German sprinkler.

[Joey Jones]

I didn't say anything, but, like, I can't wait.

[Jesse Waters]

It's a city girl.

[Joey Jones]

I remember when you said you drove a truck. And you mean it was like an all wheel drive Audi or something?

[Jesse Waters]

I would never get an all wheel drive Audi.

[Joey Jones]

That's a dog. And an Audi's a truck.

[Jesse Waters]

I get it. Okay.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We have an Audi. I'm kidding, Shannon.

[Shannon Bream]

Okay? This Kareem is not buying this at all. I'm gonna get in trouble because I could not stop laughing reading this about the woman. There's biscuit bream right there by her azalea bush that she has fertilized and brought to life. Okay, part of this. This woman says that she has been working with Wendy and Max, a pair ofcats, since 2022. She says she has all kinds of handwritten notes about their sessions and that she said one of the cats asked if he could please get her own hotel bathroom the next time that they traveled. She did not want a litter box. She told me she wants an actual bathroom with tile floors. I noted this and passed it along to her family. Like, I don't know what we're supposed to do with that information. I'm not buying it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I love when people prepare for my block.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, I guess. But, you know, dogs appear to miss you when they realize you were gone. They have no sense of time. That's the thing about dogs. They live in the absolute present. They don't live in the past. It's amazing. If you look at our lives, it's three parts. It's. We live in the past. There's this tiny little section of the present, and there's the future. So we think about things that we just said or arguments that we were in. And then we spend the rest of the time in our brains thinking about what we're supposed to be doing next. When you're supposed to be in this tiny little sliver. We need to think like a dog. You know, we need to not live there and live there, but live in there. Pet psychics that's a grift, but I kind of like it.

[Jesse Waters]

So you're saying they don't remember they soiled the carpet?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, they don't. They don't. You have to punish them immediately when they do something. Or they have no idea when I.

[Jesse Waters]

Same with women. What?

[Jessica Tarlov]

What? Jesse? All right, fan mail Friday is up next.

[Joey Jones]

That's Mac right there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Friday, first question from Glenn. If you could have your own theme song play every time you entered a room, which one would it be? Let's go around the table. Starting with you, Joey.

[Joey Jones]

Footloose.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Footloose. Nicely done.

[Shannon Bream]

That's good. That is very good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not legs.

[Joey Jones]

Oh, I like Footloose. You gotta think about it for a minute.

[Shannon Bream]

Yeah, you do.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How about you, Jessica? Long tall woman. It's not the long, cool woman.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, nice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

See, I don't know what that sounds like, but I like the descriptor. I would go like, girls just want to have fun or let it be. Let it be. Guys, let me finish.

[Jesse Waters]

Jessie's girl.

[Joey Jones]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, it's a great song.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Why? I don't get it.

[Jesse Waters]

I don't get it either.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That makes no sense.

[Shannon Bream]

It makes sense. I'm so excited because I am so excited all the time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You are.

[Joey Jones]

I found mine. You're not good at hiding it either.

[Greg Gutfeld]

In the break. I found mine.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You cheated.

[Shannon Bream]

I don't know if these two.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You can find every show on YouTube the entire song.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is a three minute Hannity theme song. I just. I play this and I walk around the apartment shirtless.

[Joey Jones]

It does have an Avengers sound to it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, we have another one. Do we have time for another one?

[Jesse Waters]

I feel like Lindsey Graham's here.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What is the extent of your home improvement capabilities, Jesse?

[Jesse Waters]

Personally?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Jesse Waters]

What do you mean by that? Like, do I repair things that have broken?

[Joey Jones]

You hang your own pictures on the wall. Can you do that?

[Shannon Bream]

You do?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. That's a basis.

[Jesse Waters]

How big is the. No, I can't.

[Joey Jones]

I can't.

[Jesse Waters]

I remember that I can, but I.

[Joey Jones]

Years ago on this show, you admitted that.

[Jesse Waters]

Well, at least I'm not lying.

[Joey Jones]

That's right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You're like, almost 7ft tall, so you could probably do a lot of stuff.

[Jessica Tarlov]

And Brian's nine feet. It's amazing. Yeah, I'm actually a good. I don't know if it counts as a repair, but I'm a good painter. Like wall painter.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's lovely. What about you, evil Shannon?

[Shannon Bream]

I know how to find a stud.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ooh, wow. And get hammered.

[Shannon Bream]

Not the get hammered part, but the finding stud.

[Joey Jones]

When it comes to knowledge, pretty much anything from the ground up. You know, if it takes a ladder, I'm not that good at it anymore.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I've never fixed anything in my entire life. Never fixed anything because I realized I break things. Do you know. Do you remember the story when the doorknob came off in my hand?

[Shannon Bream]

You got locked in your. You were.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Four hours.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Right, I remember.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I was locked in a room for four hours, and I had no phone and no laptop, so I just had a.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Who found you?

[Greg Gutfeld]

My. My dog walker buddy.

[Shannon Bream]

You were stuck in that room. We were worried about you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

People thought I had died.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We did.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My. My background as a partier had people thinking I was, like, gone. But anyway, that's in the past.

[Shannon Bream]

Lucky for Jessica.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Are we going to break or do we do another one?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Another one?

[Jesse Waters]

Oh, another one.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What's a weird smell you secretly love, Shannon?

[Shannon Bream]

Gasoline.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, wow.

[Shannon Bream]

Is that weird?

[Greg Gutfeld]

You little arsonist.

[Jesse Waters]

I know armpits.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Armpits.

[Shannon Bream]

No, you don't.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's not.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Something specific.

[Jesse Waters]

Yes, specific ones.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Like a pheromones thing. Like Emma's pits.

[Jesse Waters]

I've said enough.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I. I like skunk.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What? You know, skunk and sugar smacks are the same smell.

[Jessica Tarlov]

What?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Honey, you're the little bear.

[Joey Jones]

Have you ever smelled your dog's paws? It smells like Cheetos. That's what it is for me. Smell your dog. It smells like Cheetos. It's a real thing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's nice.

[Shannon Bream]

He's gonna do it tonight.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But no Sugar smacks because the skunk smells very sweet.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Isn't that crazy?

[Joey Jones]

Little tiny skunks that I have.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think we're done now. One more thing's up next.

[Jesse Waters]

We could have done with that.

[Shannon Bream]

Okay, it is time for one more thing. We kick it off with Greg.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Finally, Gutfeld is back. Tonight we got a Great show. Erin McGuire. DeVito, Shalou, Tyrus. Watch that. Hey, let's do this, Shannon. Because Shannon asked. What? Greggs, look at that tongue. Control yourself. Let's go to San Antonio Zoo. Just take a look at Jazaree's tongue. You know, I knew a jazzaree she stripped in San Antonio, but she. Look at that. 20 inches long, tough, dexterous and coated in sticky saliva. Much like you, Jesse.

[Shannon Bream]

Who happens to be next? Do you have anything else you want to say, Greg?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, because it's too gross. It is.

[Jesse Waters]

Please, let's keep it clean. This is a family show. Not on a Friday, though. Fox Wine Shop. A door buster. Deal. Check this out. $25 off. Redeem your $25 today Fox News wineshop.com. the code. Cheers. 25. We got red, we got white, we got blue. It's beautiful. Look at this. Nice.

[Shannon Bream]

It's gorgeous box.

[Jesse Waters]

It's a blue casing. Greg, come on. And also, happy birthday to a very special person, Frenchie. Firecracker. Wow. Frenchie, you've been with us all these years. Keep it going tonight, like stay alive. Happy DEI Friday.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ah, nice.

[Shannon Bream]

As only Jesse can do. All right, Jessica.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Okay. Happy birthday. Frenchie and Queen Camilla hosted a reception in London for medical detention dogs trained to detect disease and life threatening conditions in humans. James Middleton, Princess Kate's younger brother, attended

[Greg Gutfeld]

in the middle, right?

[Jesse Waters]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Attended the event where he and the Queen bonded over their shared love of dogs. The Queen has served as the patron of the medical Detection dogs charity since 2014.

[Joey Jones]

What better way to celebrate 250 years of independence?

[Shannon Bream]

I can get behind that. Okay, quickly. Fox News Sunday. We are going to be on the mall for rededicate 250. The speaker is our exclusive guest. We'll talk China, Iran, all that stuff. And also faith in America. Joey.

[Joey Jones]

Oh yeah, this one's awesome. There's a massive 400 pound alligator. It's 11 foot long. It was spotted on a road in North Carolina. Somebody called it in, telling on the poor guy. He's just hanging out in the woods having a good time. They had to come get him. Somebody had a lot of fun getting a hold of him. That's called a death roll. They like to do that. Yeah, I only lost one leg in war. Then I wrestled an alligator so it'll get ahold of you. But yeah, they relocated him so he's having a good time somewhere.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that wrong?

[Joey Jones]

What's that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just leave him alone.

[Joey Jones]

Well, it wasn't really his habitat. He got too far away from the water. They need to be in the water. Chances are, by the way, he was lost.

[Shannon Bream]

That little guy you showed us in Florida, we call that the JV18.

[Joey Jones]

Oh yeah. Big enough? Ain't that big?

[Jesse Waters]

That woman's tall.

[Joey Jones]

It's not like a Pritzker version.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

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