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Greg Gutfeld
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Jesse Waters
Up to 55% off your Babbel subscription at babbel.com Spotify podcast spelled B-A-B-E-L.com Spotify podcast rules and restrictions may apply. Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Kennedy Harold Ford Jr. Jesse Waters. And she loves picnics because it's a chance to ride the ants. Dana Perino. This is a special edition of the fob. It's Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff to summer. But before firing up the grill or hitting the beach, we can't forget what today is about. Honoring and saluting our military heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We have a huge show ahead, so let's kick it off with your fan mail questions. Isn't that exciting? Yeah. So good to be here. All right, first question from Connie C. What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid? Dana, you were a terrible child. I would assume the amount of drugs and alcohol you participated in that.
Dana Perino
Travis, you forgot the vandalism.
Jesse Waters
Yeah, that was a bad one.
Dana Perino
The vandalism.
Jesse Waters
You're a bad kid.
Dana Perino
Yeah. Okay, so my mom has since apologized, but I used to get the wooden spoon.
Jesse Waters
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Perino
But you know what? It worked.
Jesse Waters
It did work.
Dana Perino
I'm not against it.
Jesse Waters
Yeah, yeah. The wooden spoon. I had a fly swatter.
Dana Perino
Ow. That one hurts.
Jesse Waters
The fly swatter. Being chased with a fly swatter. Jesse, did they catch you? Yes, they caught me many times. I was a slow child. I never got the belt, though. Everybody got the belt.
Kennedy
I'll give you the belt?
Jesse Waters
Yeah.
Kennedy
Oh, come here.
Jesse Waters
What about you, Jesse?
Kennedy
I had to mow my dad's croquet Corp. Got in a lot of trouble, and the mower actually got caught up in the wicket, and then the wicket came and hit the poodle in the tail.
Greg Gutfeld
Oh, no.
Kennedy
We had to take it to the vet.
Jesse Waters
That's such a Jesse Waters childhood. I had to mow my dad's croquet cord. And then we had iced tea on the veranda, and Ashley came over. What about you?
Harold Ford Jr.
The butler took the poodle to the vet door.
Kennedy
You're one to talk, Al.
Harold Ford Jr.
I'll never forget second grade. It was biggest and most memorable. In second grade, I played somewhere at school, and my principal, a woman named Hattie Jackson, brought me into her office, and she said, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. And she hit me seven times with a wooden paddle. I never went back to the principal's office again. I never played in the woods again. We were not allowed to play in some area, and I did it. And then I got home and my mom used the belt because I embarrassed my parents at school by getting paddled.
Dana Perino
Wow.
Harold Ford Jr.
Never got paddled again.
Jesse Waters
Kennedy, what about you? You are a precocious child.
Greg Gutfeld
Thank you, Greg.
Jesse Waters
Yes.
Greg Gutfeld
So my parents were Democrats. And when I was in high school, my senior year, I actually snuck to the Republican convention Rebel in Seaside. And my mom worked for the phone company, so I told her I was at a friend's house, but I was really in Seaside, Oregon. And so she went to work and checked where the call came in from when I called her collect because we didn't have sex cell phones back in the 1940s, Jesse. And that was the only time in my childhood I got grounded. My mom wasn't mad that I was gone. It was the fact that I went to the Republican Convention.
Jesse Waters
I don't think I've ever was grounded. I got suspended and expelled from school, but never like that. Never. My parents never did anything.
Kennedy
What did you get expelled for?
Jesse Waters
It's a long story, but I was able to come back to school. Me, too. Yeah, it was amazing, you know, when they couldn't find the victim, the charges were dropped. It had to do with firecrackers in the classroom and then threatening a child.
Greg Gutfeld
The victim probably took a wicket to the throat.
Jesse Waters
Yes, yes. Long story. Roseanne asks, if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? This is so easy, Kennedy. What would you eat? I know that you're gluten intolerant yes.
Greg Gutfeld
Greg, I have celiac and I would like to take this moment for a wonderful public service announcement. To save your small intestine. It would probably be my mom's gluten free chocolate chip cookies because now I gotta butter up cause I embarrassed her about the whole Republican thing.
Jesse Waters
Yes, gluten free chocolate chip cookies. Harold, what about you?
Harold Ford Jr.
If I didn't worry about my vanity, if I was not worried about my weight, I would have ice cream and chocolate chip cookies every day. But even so, I'd eat sweet potatoes. I love sweet potatoes. I only get them on Thanksgiving. Really, but I love sweet potatoes.
Jesse Waters
Sweet potatoes. That's so lame.
Kennedy
Jesse, I would probably just to mess with you shrimp because I know how much you hate shellfish.
Harold Ford Jr.
I hate shelf.
Jesse Waters
But I used to have shrimp as a child, but I got out of it. I had a shrimp cocktail because I liked the taste of the sauce. Yes, it was really good shrimp cocktail. Speaking of shrimp cocktails, you're quite a shrimp cocktail.
Dana Perino
Yes, I am. I would have steak all day long. Every day, every day, all the time.
Jesse Waters
I would say pizza because you can do anything with a pizza. So if you feel like having a, you know, meat or vegetables, any kind of pizza will do. I think I won that round.
Kennedy
I think I did.
Dana Perino
I think Jesse lost.
Jesse Waters
Yeah, yeah.
Kennedy
Or lost.
Jesse Waters
What is the best book you ever read? This is from Nina. Harold. Why don't you go first and say the Bible?
Harold Ford Jr.
1984. George Orwell. I read it in seventh grade. I got a B on the test. But it changed my life. It really got me into reading and for that matter, got me into critical thinking.
Jesse Waters
Good for you. Too bad it didn't pay off.
Kennedy
Jesse the Hobbit is my answer for every literary question ever. First book that pops into my head, I'm going to go Hobbit.
Dana Perino
Mmm.
Jesse Waters
Dana.
Dana Perino
When I was a kid, I would say I read A Wrinkle in Time over and over and over again as a kid. And then actually it was funny because a couple years ago then that book was. There was some controversy about it. It was that anniversary. It was like that might have turned kids Republican or libertarian.
Jesse Waters
Was it a time travel thing?
Dana Perino
Yeah, but also when you went to the time travel is basically you lived like a communist and nobody wanted to live in communism.
Jesse Waters
I'm definitely gonna read that last year.
Kennedy
Get it?
Jesse Waters
Kennedy.
Greg Gutfeld
Yes. 2. I love Jane Eyre. That's like one of the few books that I've read over and over again. But a book that absolutely changed the way I see the world was called An Essay on Man by Ernst Cassirer.
Jesse Waters
Oh, Ernst. How is he doing?
Greg Gutfeld
Not alive.
Jesse Waters
I don't know. I was thinking. My favorite book I always talked about was Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. And then I've read it a couple times, and then I read it again, and I'm going, like, maybe it wasn't as great as I remember it, but I don't know. But I guess I should just say Blood Meridian.
Greg Gutfeld
It's a good one.
Jesse Waters
It's a good book. All right. This is from Dorothy. Dorothy T. What is one food you refuse to eat? I guess I should go to you. Jesse, is there anything you won't eat?
Kennedy
Soup in public. It's an embarrassment for men to be seen slurping soup from a spoon. And that's why I don't do it.
Jesse Waters
It is interesting. Why can't you just drink soup out of a 30s? Yes. Just drink it.
Kennedy
Perhaps.
Jesse Waters
Exactly. Like little beef barley.
Dana Perino
Yeah.
Jesse Waters
Little bouillon cube.
Kennedy
Bouillon cube.
Jesse Waters
Bouillon, bouillon, bouillon.
Kennedy
I thought that was gold.
Jesse Waters
I don't know.
Kennedy
I don't know either.
Jesse Waters
I don't know either. You actually do your yoga exercises on a bouillon cube? Hey, Kennedy.
Greg Gutfeld
Hey.
Jesse Waters
What food do you refuse to eat?
Greg Gutfeld
There's only one. It's anything can. I will eat anything. I've eaten the weirdest food. I don't think I should say this out loud, but I've eaten a body part from several different animals. I had something to eat to drink in Zimbabwe that cannot be mentioned on a family program. So the only thing I would not eat is gluten. Something containing gluten. That's it. Everything else on the table.
Dana Perino
Dana, there's so many things, but the things I'm writing down are snake, alligator, snails, any of that weird stuff. I would never.
Greg Gutfeld
I've eaten all of it. Yeah.
Kennedy
I made Johnny eat escargot one time.
Dana Perino
Disgusting.
Kennedy
Yeah. He didn't even know what it was.
Dana Perino
That's what you told me. Did it taste like chicken?
Greg Gutfeld
No.
Kennedy
I didn't ask.
Harold Ford Jr.
I've eaten a lot, but I won't eat black olives. And I'm allergic to shellfish. Black olives doesn't agree with me. Just whatever it makes my. It's not good.
Jesse Waters
I'm gonna go with lobster. You know, I don't like how they're treated same.
Kennedy
You're not serious.
Jesse Waters
No. I've never had lobster in my life.
Greg Gutfeld
You've never eaten it on Jesse's croquet lawn?
Jesse Waters
Yes, that's true. Yes. All right. What's the dumbest ever did as a kid? I already know Dana's answer. Because you've. This question comes up every year. Yeah. So don't bring up the plain story.
Dana Perino
That's a bad one. Dumb thing I did as a kid. As a little kid. Well, I would say, you know, I chose gymnastics over piano when I was forced to make a choice because I couldn't have, like, that many lessons in the week. And we have to, like, you know, we have to pay for lessons and everything, and I chose gymnastics. I should have kept with piano.
Jesse Waters
Wow. Your whole life would have changed.
Dana Perino
Yeah. I wouldn't be here.
Jesse Waters
No, that is true. And you'd be tall.
Dana Perino
That's true.
Jesse Waters
I don't know. Does gymnastics stunt your growth? That wasn't my problem.
Kennedy
There was a secret bookshelf in my grandfather's library that we discovered, and we went down. It's where he kept his rare whiskeys. And I accidentally shattered, like, a $10,000 bottle.
Jesse Waters
Wow.
Dana Perino
You did.
Jesse Waters
You looked at that part where you found all that Nazi memorabilia?
Greg Gutfeld
What?
Kennedy
Take it was Mussolini.
Jesse Waters
Harold.
Harold Ford Jr.
I thought that I could be Evel Knievel on a moped.
Dana Perino
Oh, no.
Harold Ford Jr.
And I went and we went with my brothers. I made this little thing. The ramp didn't really last, and I got. I fell off. Thank God I didn't break my neck, but it was fun. It was fun. I'm not Evel Knievel, I realize.
Jesse Waters
No, you aren't. Thank you, Kennedy.
Greg Gutfeld
It was skateboarding day at the MTV beach house. I was still pretty young. I was barely 20, and I decided to drop in on a half pipe, and I got a concussion and had to go to the hospital in an ambulance.
Jesse Waters
Wow. Yeah, you were a wild little lady, weren't you?
Greg Gutfeld
It was wild. The rest of it, I can't remember because of the concussion.
Jesse Waters
Smoking cigarettes. I was young. I remember buying cigarettes in a machine at Macy's. You'd go downstairs into the hallway, put money in, and me and this guy Bob. Yeah. We went to the high school, and we smoked cigarettes. And then I came home and I spilled my guts without them even asking. My mom said, hey, what did you guys do? And I go, who smoked? And Bob never hung around with me again.
Dana Perino
Yeah.
Jesse Waters
Up next, what's the earliest childhood memory we can remember? The answer when we come back.
Harold Ford Jr.
The Fives.
Greg Gutfeld
Disney has been bringing happiness to families and communities for over a century and continues to be a powerful economic contributor. Since 2017, Disney has nearly doubled spending on film and television content and has grown its U.S. workforce by nearly 20,000. Employing 160,000 people across all 50 states. And with more than $30 billion in investments in U.S. parks, Disney is creating nearly 10,000 jobs. Explore Disney's impact@thewaltdisneycompany.com economic-impact.
Dana Perino
And welcome back to THE FIVE. We are answering your questions this Memorial Day. Here we go. What is the earliest childhood memory you can remember, Harold? Start with you.
Harold Ford Jr.
I remember at 5 years old, my dad dropping me off at kindergarten and my mom had to drop me and I used to be able to sit in the middle. You know those cars you didn't have seat belts. So it was like that thing that came down that foot. So I sat in the middle there. And we pulled up and literally almost rammed into the radio, into the face. And my dad was on his cell phone. Happy memory. My family and I've since gotten over it, but I remember that you remember.
Dana Perino
Those always buckle up. Okay. Kennedy, do you have an earliest childhood memory?
Greg Gutfeld
Yes. I remember preschool very clearly. And we had it was the preschool was run by a German couple and they would yell at us in German and they hit this kid Tucker with the ruler, which where you grew up as probably like they should be high fived for that, maybe win an award. But in Oregon with all the hippies. I went home and told my mom and like the next week none of us went to that preschool again.
Dana Perino
That's amazing. You have a. What's your earliest childhood?
Jesse Waters
Well, I remember, okay, I remember it was dark and it all. And it was weird because I was very comfortable. I was very comfortable. I was like asleep awake. And stunle started happening. And then, and then all of a sudden a big light and I came out, these giant hands grabbed me, grab me and I'm like, what's going on? And then I get, somebody hits me on my butt. And next thing you know, I'm like sitting on this woman and she's got these huge breasts. And I'm like, I just go put my mouth right on her breast. And everybody's like, there's all this noise and bright lights. Oh, God, it was insane.
Dana Perino
Wow.
Jesse Waters
Yeah. I think I was 17.
Dana Perino
I wonder if the producers are having a heart attack right now. Jesse, do you have a heart attack?
Kennedy
I was going to do the exact same thing. And he stole was dark. And then I felt the slippery sensation. This man with a mask, I can't top it.
Dana Perino
I remember my sister coming home from the hospital. I'm four years older than her. And I was really mad because my mom Made me stay home from school that day. And I wanted to know, why did you make me stay home from school? That was my earliest childhood memory. Just to save the segment. Not that funny.
Jesse Waters
Happy Memorial Day.
Dana Perino
Question from Facebook. And this is Noel M. What do you consider your biggest break in reaching this point in your career? Oh, Kennedy, that's a good one for you.
Greg Gutfeld
I was an intern at KROLQ in Los Angeles and Hector, the program director, almost every day. I was an unpaid intern. I was 18, and I was like, you should put me on the air. You should put me on the air. Blah, blah, blah. And finally he was like, stop talking. Okay, if you promise to never come into my office again, I will give you an audition. So he gave me a two night audition, and that's how I got started in broadcast. I love that I annoyed him into a job. Harold.
Harold Ford Jr.
The same woman who paddled me, my elementary school teacher, was my first campaign manager, and she got me 32 graduation speeches when no one would invite me to speak. When I was running for Congress, there were 28 kindergarten speeches and five elementary school speeches. I thought that was a complete waste of time, but it turned my career around, turned my campaign around, and got me to where I am. And I love her to this day for that reason.
Dana Perino
That's a great story. Can you top that?
Kennedy
I can. It was the MeToo movement. It set off a chain of events here that opened a lot of things up for me and other people. And now I find myself where I am today.
Jesse Waters
That is like the hilarious.
Dana Perino
I mean, at least he's honest.
Jesse Waters
Yes.
Kennedy
Happy Memorial Day.
Jesse Waters
You know what's funny?
Greg Gutfeld
This is.
Jesse Waters
It was something I didn't get paid for when I was, like, working in magazines. Fox did not. Fox had me on their shows. They didn't know who I was. It wasn't until I started writing for free at the Huffington Post.
Dana Perino
And that did it.
Jesse Waters
And that's when the people at Fox started reading my stuff. And Roger Ailes called me in and sat down. I like what you're right there, boy. What do you do? How much you get paid?
Kennedy
Colonel Sanders?
Jesse Waters
Yes. And then the next thing you know, I get a job at Cross. But if it wasn't for, like, just getting stuff, that I didn't get paid a single dime writing for the Huffington Post. Right.
Dana Perino
And look at, look at you now. I would say for me, I went to a hockey game in 1995. I don't know anything about hockey. It was Colorado Avalanche versus the Capitals. And this guy I sat next to said, what do you want to do in Washington? I'd been there like five weeks, and I said, oh, I'd love to work my way up to be a House press secretary one day. And he's like, oh, do you know this guy from Colorado? Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, that's how I ended up. That's how I'm here.
Jesse Waters
I guess you'd call that a pucky break.
Dana Perino
Shoot me in the face basement. Question from Kelly G. What is your least favorite part of show prep? Jesse?
Kennedy
Oh, the prep is the least favorite part. So what I try to do is I. I try not to look at the rundown for a few hours after it comes out, and then. So then you have less time to prepare, and then you get in the car and then you have to cram prep. And so that's how I do it. I cram prep. It's basically having a deadline and being forced to produce interesting things to say. See, I did not prepare for that.
Dana Perino
That was very good. Very good answer, Harold.
Harold Ford Jr.
The thing I. The gripe I have with the producers in this show is that there are too many topics that promote Democrats. I wish there were not so many topics that promote Democrats. That's the hardest part. I love preparing. So it's like, I love seeing the topics, thinking about what everybody around the table might say.
Dana Perino
Oh, I never consider that. I never think about that. Kennedy.
Greg Gutfeld
Well, it's fun because every show is different, and every show has a different way of putting their rundown together. And you have to use a different part of your brain for this show or Outnumbered or Gutfeld, and that's a great challenge. The thing I don't like is it takes all my time away from volunteering with the orphans.
Dana Perino
Yes, I know. That is a very difficult thing. Work life, balance is not easy.
Greg Gutfeld
Yeah.
Jesse Waters
But, you know, I'll help you out there.
Greg Gutfeld
Thank you.
Jesse Waters
Because I've got some orphans back home.
Greg Gutfeld
What is.
Jesse Waters
I don't. I don't really. I guess it's just the time before the show. Just kind of waiting.
Dana Perino
20 minutes.
Jesse Waters
Yeah, just kind of waiting around. I think it's like if you played sports before a game, you had that weird nervous energy, like, it could all go bad. This could be the worst. This show could end my career. Or it could just be another show.
Kennedy
Do you feel that nervous before each show?
Jesse Waters
No, I just allow that to happen. It just goes. It comes and it goes. You know, I just want it to start, you know, start or stop.
Dana Perino
Here's the end of our segment. Up next, a look back at the biggest Biden bombshells rocking the Democrats when our Memorial Day special return.
Jesse Waters
Between this drink in my hand and some real good friends, it's going on easy tonight. Beer is cheap. Hello, America. I'm hosting my first ever game show on purpose. It's called what Did I miss? We took four contestants and isolated them for 90 days. No phones, no TVs, no clue. Now we get to make them answer questions for money. Sean Hannity's money. Maybe.
Greg Gutfeld
All I keep imagining is like the world just being burned down.
Jesse Waters
What do you guys think? Quite possibly the strangest game show ever created. What did I Miss?
Kennedy
A Fox Nation game show. Streaming now only on Fox Nation.
Greg Gutfeld
We all believe in the mission. Disney has been bringing happiness to families and communities for over a century and continues to be a powerful economic contributor. Since 2017, Disney has nearly doubled spending on film and television content and is spending $23 billion in fiscal year 2025. The company has also grown its U.S. workforce by nearly 20,000, employing 160,000 people across all 50 states. And with more than 30 billion in investments in U.S. parks, Disney is creating nearly 10,000 jobs. Explore Disney's impact at TheWaltDisneyCompany.com economic-impact. I'm Rich Henson from Fox News in Washington. The Five continues in a moment, but first, this Special Report.
Jesse Waters
News break.
Greg Gutfeld
President Trump has honored fallen service members with remarks at Arlington National Cemetery.
Jesse Waters
To commemorate Memorial Day, the president placed.
Greg Gutfeld
A wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. He also has some unkind words from Russian President Vladimir Putin over the latest.
Jesse Waters
Attack on civilians in Ukraine.
Greg Gutfeld
We'll show you Republican senators are preparing to work on President Trump's so called big beautiful bill. They're trying to get it to his desk by the Fourth of July. But some GOP senators have concerns.
Jesse Waters
We'll have a full report.
Greg Gutfeld
And the search goes on tonight for.
Jesse Waters
The five inmates still at large after.
Greg Gutfeld
Their escape almost a week and a half ago. In Louisiana, meanwhile, there are more arrests of alleged accomplices.
Jesse Waters
Bring you details. I'll be back for SPECIAL report live at 6:00pm Eastern. Now back to the Five.
Greg Gutfeld
Welcome back. It is no surprise dysfunctional Democrats need a pick me up after covering up Joe Biden's decline. Watch this.
Harold Ford Jr.
He lost the race. I think one of the reasons he's probably out these days is because Biden, that is because the books are coming out and he wants to show that he was not, that he was not out of it. He said when he ran in 2020, Greg, that he would be a transitional figure, that he wanted to beat Donald Trump and move the country to a new generation of leadership. And I think a lot of people took him at his word, and that didn't happen. And if President Biden wants to continue to go on shows to help himself, I think one of the guys there at the end said, this is all about Biden and not about anything else. Let him do that. That will run its course. Let us go forward with a set of ideas and what our priorities are, laying it out for the country.
Jesse Waters
You know, these guys are talking about 2024. The mistake was 2020. The biggest mistake the Dems ever made was run that guy, picking him and letting him. Letting himself expose the. The shallow and useless nature of their party. He will go down as the worst president in history, no question. The party was already a mess, but they picked the worst possible person to front it. It's like Mattel making Casey Anthony their CEO a disaster. And I think we're letting the media off too lightly right now. They're saying, and you can hear it with those guys, hey, it was the White House who kept us from knowing Joe was a mess, as if journalists were under house arrest.
Kennedy
We were just talking about what we would have called Joe if he was in a wheelchair, asleep at the wheel.
Greg Gutfeld
You would have been talking about it?
Jesse Waters
Yes.
Kennedy
Yeah, it was just me, wasn't it? So I want to just talk to the people that don't watch us. How would I do that if they're watching us? But let me put it differently. Do you like to time travel? Do you like to see the future? Well, I have something in store for you. You can just watch Fox and you don't have to buy books from cnn. Okay? You'll know the future by watching us. That's how this goes.
Jesse Waters
They didn't care about his health at all. They just worried about the optics, that he would need a wheelchair if he won. I am tired of these books. They should have watched the Five. They should have watched Fox. We were doing the reporting in real time, not right now. The books are now just an admission of guilt. The Dems can never bring up the 25th amendment ever again, even if Trump's brain is in a vat in the Oval Office, running the country. We're gonna say, oh, no, no, no. He's sharp as a tack. But there's this other thing about the media's excuse, which is killing me. The White House was lying to us. Well, duh. That's to be expected. It's called spin. Your job is to assume that they're not telling you the truth. You're a journalist. You just don't go, oh, they say Joe's fine, nothing to see here. I mean, you should offer a little bit more resistance than Facebook asking if you 18, you know, that's how bad it is. So it's not about the media. It's not about Joe's condition at all. Nobody cares at this point. It's the media's condition. There are two diagnoses. One, you're the dumbest, most incompetent generation of journalists ever on the planet, or two, you deliberately covered up Joe's dramatic decline because you're biased.
Dana Perino
You do not have yet a Democrat that wants to run for president, that is public about wanting to run for president, who has said that was wrong. And does that need to happen in order for them to actually be able to move forward? Because they can say all day long, we are looking forward, we are trying to move forward, but you're not actually taking a step until you deal with it.
Harold Ford Jr.
I defer. So I think the country settled that for us. They elected Donald Trump again and they said that close the door on that and move forward. Democrats. There's so much there for us to be doing if we continue to fall in the trap of talking about Joe Biden, bless his heart, he gave 40 plus years to this country of service and I'm grateful for it. But we have a country. We have people in this country who are expecting leadership and ideas from us. And until we do that, we don't deserve to represent them anymore if we continue to fall into these traps.
Kennedy
First, my heart goes out to the Bidens and the Biden family. Very unfortunate diagnosis, and we hope he beats it. But a lot of people are speculating whether this was medical malpractice or whether this was a medical cover up. And we have every right to speculate because they have been caught in so many lies now. So the medical cover up is not being said by Jesse Waters. It's being said all over the media by Democrats and by physicians. They're saying that this was caught possibly earlier and then nothing was released and then possibly exposed as a way to blunt the impact of the her report, audio release and the book. Now, I don't think that's possible, but at this point, anything's possible. The other one is the medical malpractice. How are you not going to give a guy a PSA test? How are you not going to give someone a test and then not release the results? Did they not give this test to Joe Biden? Because they gave it to the last three presidents and then they released the PSA numbers. So who knows if he even got tested. He was supposed to have had a full test a year ago, and they said there was no cancer detected. Well, we need to know exactly what test they did. And since 2000, Joe Biden has broken his foot. He's had skin cancer, he has had two horrible bouts with COVID 19. And then he was living as president with prostate cancer. And the entire media said he was healthy as an ox.
Jesse Waters
The timing is telling you that this cancer is being used as a tool to deflect from outrage to sympathy. But get this. Normal human beings, we can have both. We can feel sad for somebody who has cancer. Like Harold said, we all know people intimately who are, who have cancer, who are dying from cancer, and who will die of cancer. So we could feel sad. But that's not going to infringe on the space in my brain that is reserved and dedicated to this cover up of his incapacitation. So you're not going to get a mute or a pause from me, but nice try. We're talking about, like, how could this happen? We've always been saying about all of these problems in the last eight years. How did this happen? How did this happen? How did this happen? I say eight years because this has been going on before Biden was president. The neglect is on purpose. For example, just focus on Joe Biden, the elder abuse line that we kept hearing. Why did it continue? Because Joe was docile and fragile and offering no resistance to any part of the progressive agenda. Joe's dysfunction may have been caused not by disability, but by debility, meaning he was worn down on purpose, deliberately kept feeble and weak, which made him pliable like a pow. Except the W stands for White House. Joe's dysfunction was not prevented when it could have been because it kept him easily managed. He was always tired. He probably didn't want to answer questions or sign things. So we've seen a series of colossal blunders and deliberate cover ups. All are ethically indefensible.
Harold Ford Jr.
I think that the fact that the President of the United States is not getting as exhaustive of a review of a physical, of the kind of medical examination one would expect, and then to have all of that revealed to the public in 2025, 25 years into the 21st century, you combine that with some of the things that we people were saying about President Biden throughout his presidency, questioning the cognitive abilities, some of the mental health abilities, and then the physical things. That happened when he fell up the stairs, down the stairs, off his bike. We deserve better. When you are the President of the United States with the kind of care the President should get. We should not be surprised by these things. But I'm like you, my thoughts and prayers are with he and his family. I know this road ahead is going to be. Is going to be a difficult one.
Greg Gutfeld
Coming up, liberal celebrities realize they are idiots when the five Memorial Day Special continues. Stay with us.
Jesse Waters
It's the number one dad book.
Kennedy
This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. Not everyone is careful with your personal information, which might explain why there's a victim of identity theft every five seconds in the U.S. fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year by visiting lifelock.com podcast terms apply. Welcome back to our Memorial Day special. Hollywood is snapping out of their liberal comedy coma and attacking their own. Let's watch.
Greg Gutfeld
All so famous, so talented, so powerful. I mean, you could really do anything. I mean, except tell the country who to vote for.
Dana Perino
But it's okay.
Jesse Waters
You'll.
Greg Gutfeld
You'll get them next time.
Jesse Waters
It's a good point, Harold. It was like, it was like a meeting of losers who needed a group hug because no one takes their politics seriously. And they learned that, I mean, if Clooney can't persuade you, you know, how can those D bags.
Harold Ford Jr.
I didn't realize that she was a graduate of Red Eye. Yes, I'm glad to hear that. Other than when I got my this.
Dana Perino
Is the Fox Nation show I want Greg to do. Where are they now? All these people used to be on Red Eye.
Jesse Waters
They're either stars or dead.
Dana Perino
Oh, gosh.
Jesse Waters
That's an idea for a show.
Harold Ford Jr.
She was very good. I switched between her and the Lions game. I watched the opening and I thought she killed. She nailed it. And I thought the people in the room handled it pretty well also. But kudos to her and hopefully those in Hollywood learned a little lesson.
Jesse Waters
Dana, I didn't think the joke. I thought the jokes were well written, but I didn't think they were that edgy. I think she made sure that she was making fun of a structure as opposed to a person. I like going after the people, the crowd.
Dana Perino
Remember what happened Ricky Gervais the last.
Jesse Waters
Time that happened would just.
Dana Perino
Yeah, Will Smith didn't love that. When back in the day. Do you remember that Day.
Jesse Waters
No, I have no idea what you're.
Dana Perino
Talking about, of course. But I really like her delivery. I think she's great. And I, you know, I know that you're a Tim Dillon fan and he was saying that he's a fan of her. So then I take, I took a look to see if I liked her, and I like her.
Kennedy
Liberal comedians are finally snapping out of their four year comedy coma. They've been dodging the obvious punchlines of Joe and Kamala's clown car of chaos, all to keep up the narrative that Joe's brain was perfectly fine and that Kamala Harris really did serve fries at that McDonald's. Big names like Jim Gaffigan and Whitney Cummings now admitting they were pressured to toe the liberal line and only mock Republicans Watch.
Jesse Waters
Maybe because it was so important and maybe because it was such a short election for Kamala that people were like, don't criticize her. That's actually bad to have that approach.
Kennedy
Yeah.
Jesse Waters
And I think hindsight, we. A lot of people feel that way.
Greg Gutfeld
Yeah. What's going on in the left? I had to, like, I finally just broke. You're in Stockholm syndrome, whatever it is. But I just think that if you love your party, you have to be able to criticize it.
Kennedy
Is this too little, too late, Greg?
Jesse Waters
Yeah. I mean, I always say, welcome to the club. You could always start sooner, but they act like they had bosses telling them what not to say. You're comedians, you don't have a boss. There's no policing of your language unless you were policing it yourself, cuz you were scared. And that's kind of sad because I know, I know a lot of comedians who didn't wait until now to make jokes about the administration or about. About trans delusions or anything people might show. They didn't just lose work, they lost friends. Gaffigan knows a few of them and what they're. And what Gaffigan and what's her name?
Greg Gutfeld
Whitney Company.
Jesse Waters
Whitney company what they're saying is true, but it was true for everyone. But some chose to be brave and others didn't.
Greg Gutfeld
I kind of think the whole conversation around the cancellation of comedians really was commensurate with how good you are at comedy. Like, great comedians who are even political had some of the most successful years during the Trump administration, like Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, people that are openly liberal, like John Mulaney, who's even more to the left of them, like, he's fine. I think that people didn't react well to low hanging fruit. Like, if you Were act like if you were a comedian that was just giving people the most obvious, like, Trump is like Hitler. They didn't like that and they reacted poorly to it. But if you were actually making nuanced jokes or doing cultural criticism that people left and right liked it and didn't.
Jesse Waters
I think nobody went after Biden except for my show.
Greg Gutfeld
Yep. She was saying it was boring. I.
Jesse Waters
How dare you. How dare you.
Greg Gutfeld
It was boring. So, no, I take Ugbridge to low hanging fruit. No, no. But that's not what I'm saying.
Jesse Waters
It's a hype joke.
Greg Gutfeld
But I actually wasn't. I wasn't talking about Jimmy Kimmel was totally fine with people getting canceled so long as there are people he didn't like. He was fine with keeping conservative comedians out of comedy. He was fine with canceling people who like Trump.
Jesse Waters
He never shared the risk, which they got in trouble.
Greg Gutfeld
Exactly. He never stood up for comedy when it really mattered in the First Amendment. And now all of a sudden he's losing to people like Craig. He's gonna whine and act like somehow he should have said something before, like, this is so obvious. And also, they just kept regurgitating the same thing over and over again, checking the boxes of what you were allowed to make fun of, what you weren't allowed to make fun of. And it was just really boring. And Hollywood's in the same position. And so he's desperately running to the front of the parade and acting like.
Kennedy
He is leading it when actually Gutfeld.
Greg Gutfeld
Exclamation point is leading it.
Jesse Waters
It's so true.
Greg Gutfeld
You have status now, Greg.
Jesse Waters
So true. Yes.
Greg Gutfeld
Now you have something to lose, so be careful.
Kennedy
Up next, everybody's favorite part of the five. And no, it's not me.
Jesse Waters
I never had to knock my hood when there's someone who has.
Kennedy
I've got a cat named.
Jesse Waters
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Kennedy
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Harold Ford Jr.
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Harold Ford Jr.
Welcome back on this Memorial Day, it's no secret that America loves our One More Things here on Da5. Let's watch some of our favorites.
Jesse Waters
In your face, Harry. Oh, I missed this. Take a look at Harry or Harold the skunk at Woodland Park Zoo getting his annual checkup and wellness exam. He has his own little stump to hang out on. I think they checked everything. And you know what, Harold? So should you because you're our skunk.
Kennedy
This is a monster 108 foot tall wave northern California maverick, this guy. Exactly. Alessandro Slieber smashing the previous world record by more than 20ft. Look at that. Wow, look at that. 40 miles per hour while climbing down that barrel.
Greg Gutfeld
I got some Florida stuff for you, Shannon. Hometown barrel, but about insane Florida men. Gator wrangler Mike Dragic got a call during Easter dinner from a woman nearby who had a seven foot gator hanging on her side patio. Because he didn't have time to get his gear, he improvised and fearlessly used a trash can to capture it. And all while barefoot.
Dana Perino
Here's a baby kangaroo who was hopping for joy during a NASCAR race at the Texas Motor Speedway. His name is sky and he got the VIP treatment. He was bottle fed by Fox broadcaster Jamie McMurray while watching the. I mean, Greg, you know you wish you could do that.
Greg Gutfeld
Harold. Birthday boy.
Harold Ford Jr.
I'm eating. Kate. This is the tear jerking moment. The president of Clemson University's daughter met him on the graduation stage. Grace Clements leapt into her dad Jim's arms taking him to the ground in the middle of the ceremony. Grace is a graduate of the Clemson Life program which provides higher education to those with intellectual disabilities. The hope is that Clemson Life alum will learn to live independently and gained social employment skills. Congratulations to Grace, her family and the rest of their graduating class. They're here.
Jesse Waters
Can't make fun of your OMTs. In your face, Harold.
Greg Gutfeld
So mean to Harold today.
Jesse Waters
Check out this little fella, huh? Not that fella. This fella. That is Harold the rhino iguana. There's actually a rhino iguana eating salad. Look at that.
Kennedy
Looks a lot like he's even healthier than Harold.
Greg Gutfeld
They're vegetarian.
Jesse Waters
Looks a lot like Liz Cheney enjoying a big bowl of greens at the National Reptile Zoo. Because he's also a rhino and he prefers to eat leaves, flowers, berries and fruits. Again, like Liz Cheney, this is the.
Harold Ford Jr.
Moment a few lucky ducklings were rescued from a busy freeway in Tacoma. After reports from concerned drivers, a Washington state trooper teamed up with the Department of Transportation workers safely carried awayward babies across the highway. They were reunited with their mama just in time for Mother's Day.
Greg Gutfeld
LeBron James has a new achievement to add to his resume. He's officially the first pro athlete to be made into a Ken doll. Mattel partnered with the LeBron James Family foundation to immortalize the NBA superstar. Doll is also a nod to his height. It's 1 inch taller than the average Ken. He's wearing a custom varsity jacket with his foundation signature we are family T shirt. The doll will be available this Monday, proceeds benefiting his family foundation.
Jesse Waters
Let's check out this bonobo. Is that how you say it? Mom playing airplane with its daughter Daisy. I picked it because the producers didn't really notice how disgustingly graphic this port, this, this picture is. They said, oh, they pitched this to me. I said, yeah, sure, I'll take that. I didn't bother to point out that we're looking at the the anus of a monkey. Anus of a monkey. Anus of a monkey. Speaking of anus of a monkey, Jesse.
Kennedy
My twins got confirmed after a decade of research. Hundreds of scientists have mapped out a fruit fly's brain. That's what the brain of a fruit fly looks like. More than 490ft of wiring as long as four blue whales placed end to end. Just sit back and watch the brain rotate in a counterclockwise direction as we ponder the insignificance of the fruit fly.
Jesse Waters
Gus's daily diary. This is from today, actually, from my dog walker. Great, great walk. Look at him sleeping. Great walk. He made a new friend named Pop Tart and did a very good job. Meaning he pooped and only had to be separated when he made an ungentlemanly pass at her. The owner was very good humored. He did all his business.
Dana Perino
Wow.
Jesse Waters
Good job, guys.
Harold Ford Jr.
One more fan mail question is up next on this special edition of THE five. Happy Memorial Day.
Jesse Waters
Musicology.
Harold Ford Jr.
The Altadena Fire.
Dana Perino
What makes a great pair of glasses at Warby Parker?
Greg Gutfeld
It's all the invisible extras without the extra cost. Their designer quality frames start at $95, including prescription lenses plus scratch resistant, smudge.
Dana Perino
Resistant and anti reflective coatings and UV.
Greg Gutfeld
Protection and free adjustments for life. To find your next pair of glasses, sunglasses or contact lenses, or to find.
Dana Perino
The Warby Parker store nearest you, head.
Greg Gutfeld
Over to warbyparker.com that's warbyparker.com.
Jesse Waters
So this is the last question of our Memorial Day special and it's a very simple one from RP Butler, 13. Oh, I guess there were 12 RP Butlers before him. Chicken or hamburger at a summer barbecue? Well, Kennedy, you have the diet issues. Why don't we go to you first.
Greg Gutfeld
I still love meat, Greg. If I had to choose between the two, I would still choose rib ribs.
Kennedy
I know Harold's answer.
Jesse Waters
What.
Harold Ford Jr.
I love. I love cheeseburgers. And I love barbecue. I'm gonna call it barbecue is what.
Jesse Waters
I call it about you, Jesse.
Kennedy
I'm gonna go hamburger.
Dana Perino
Hamburger for sure.
Jesse Waters
I like a good burger. Real flat one with an uncooked bun. The cheese not even melted. You just shove it in your face and you punch some kid. Get out of my way, kid. I'm eating a burger. All right, that's it for us and this Memorial Day, we'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a great night. This is Jimmy Fallah inviting you to join me for Fox Across America where we'll discuss every single one of the Democrats dumb ideas. Just kidding. It's only a three hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast@foxacrossamerica.com. listen to the 5ad free on Amazon.
Greg Gutfeld
Music with your prime membership or subscribe.
Jesse Waters
Wherever you get your podcasts.
Podcast Summary: The Five 05-26-2025
Host: Greg Gutfeld
Guests: Kennedy, Harold Ford Jr., Jesse Waters, Dana Perino
Release Date: May 26, 2025
Platform: FOX News Radio
Greg Gutfeld kicks off the special Memorial Day edition of The Five, emphasizing the day's significance in honoring military heroes. The hosts acknowledge Memorial Day as the unofficial start of summer while reminding listeners of its deeper purpose.
Notable Quote:
Greg Gutfeld [01:10]: "It's Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff to summer. But before firing up the grill or hitting the beach, we can't forget what today is about. Honoring and saluting our military heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom."
The segment delves into listener-submitted questions, starting with Connie C.'s inquiry about childhood punishments. The hosts share humorous and candid anecdotes from their youth, highlighting disciplinary methods ranging from wooden spoons to mower mishaps.
Notable Quotes:
Jesse Waters [02:00]: "My mom has since apologized, but I used to get the wooden spoon."
Harold Ford Jr. [03:01]: "In second grade, my principal hit me seven times with a wooden paddle. I never went back to her office again."
Listeners also asked about favorite foods and books. The panel discusses their preferences and dietary restrictions, offering insights into their personal tastes.
Notable Quotes:
Dana Perino [05:55]: "I would have steak all day long. Every day, every day, all the time."
Harold Ford Jr. [06:17]: "1984 by George Orwell changed my life. It got me into reading and critical thinking."
The hosts candidly discuss their least favorite aspects of show preparation. From cramming last-minute topics to navigating political biases, the conversation sheds light on the behind-the-scenes efforts to deliver engaging content.
Notable Quotes:
Harold Ford Jr. [17:52]: "There are too many topics that promote Democrats. I wish there were not so many."
Jesse Waters [18:39]: "Just kind of waiting around. It's like nervous energy before a game."
A special report covers President Trump's remarks at Arlington National Cemetery, including his comments on Russian President Vladimir Putin's stance on Ukraine. The segment also touches on Republican senators' efforts to advance Trump's legislation and ongoing searches for escaped inmates in Louisiana.
Notable Quotes:
Greg Gutfeld [20:45]: "President Trump has honored fallen service members with remarks at Arlington National Cemetery."
Jesse Waters [21:12]: "We'll have a full report."
A heated debate ensues about President Joe Biden's health, media transparency, and the Democratic Party's handling of his medical conditions. The hosts criticize the lack of exhaustive medical reviews and accuse the media of covering up Biden's decline to protect party optics.
Notable Quotes:
Jesse Waters [23:08]: "The biggest mistake the Dems ever made was run that guy, letting him expose the shallow and useless nature of their party."
Harold Ford Jr. [25:19]: "We have people in this country who are expecting leadership and ideas from us. Until we do that, we don't deserve to represent them anymore."
The panel critiques Hollywood's recent shift away from liberal comedy, highlighting how comedians like Jim Gaffigan and Whitney Cummings are now willing to mock Republicans. They argue that past censorship stifled meaningful political satire and express frustration over the belated change in comedic approaches.
Notable Quotes:
Kennedy [33:16]: "Liberal comedians are finally snapping out of their four-year comedy coma. They've been dodging obvious punchlines about Joe and Kamala's chaos."
Greg Gutfeld [35:05]: "Great comedians who are even political had some of the most successful years during the Trump administration."
Interspersed with serious discussions, The Five includes entertaining animal stories and viral clips. From a skunk's wellness exam to a baby kangaroo enjoying a NASCAR race, these segments add a touch of humor and warmth to the show.
Notable Quotes:
Jesse Waters [37:36]: "Check out this little fella, huh? Not that fella. This fella. That is Harold the rhino iguana eating salad."
Greg Gutfeld [38:57]: "LeBron James is officially the first pro athlete to be made into a Ken doll. Proceeds benefit his family foundation."
As the episode wraps up, the hosts answer final listener questions about favorite foods at summer barbecues. They maintain a playful banter, reinforcing the camaraderie among the panelists.
Notable Quotes:
Jesse Waters [43:15]: "I like a good burger. Real flat one with an uncooked bun. The cheese not even melted. You just shove it in your face."
The Five's Memorial Day special successfully balances honoring military sacrifices with engaging, personal conversations and topical debates. Greg Gutfeld and his co-hosts provide a mix of humor, candidness, and political commentary, making the episode both informative and entertaining for listeners.
Highlighted Quotes with Timestamps:
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus on the core discussions and interactions among the hosts.