The Five 05-30-2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Five – May 30, 2025

Host and Panelists:

• Greg Gutfeld
• Katie Pavlich
• Jessica Tarlov
• Jesse Watters
• Shannon Bream (Guest Contributor)

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1. Elon Musk's Recent White House Departure and Future Involvement

The episode opens with a discussion about Elon Musk's symbolic departure from the White House. Greg Gutfeld introduces the topic by highlighting the public persona of Musk during his farewell event with President Trump.

• Greg Gutfeld [00:30]: "It was Elon Musk's last day at the White House... joining President Trump for a farewell news conference in the Oval."

The panel emphasizes the cordial relationship between Musk and Trump, dismissing media narratives that suggested tension.

• Jessica Tarlov [01:41]: "We are totally committed to making the Doge cuts permanent and stopping much more of the waste in the months to come."

• Greg Gutfeld [01:58]: "Elon's service to America has been without comparison in modern history."

There is speculation about Musk's continued involvement with the government, suggesting that his influence will persist.

• Greg Gutfeld [02:00]: "Elon's really not leaving. He's going to be back and forth, I think."

2. Critique of Democratic Policies and Financial Management

The panel transitions to a critical analysis of Democratic fiscal policies, particularly focusing on government spending and tax cuts.

• Greg Gutfeld [04:22]: "The Democrats, when you ask them what their plan is to reduce spending and save us from debt crisis, they don't have a plan."

• Jessica Tarlov [06:12]: "We are going to die as a country. I don't want to die together. I want to live together in harmony with the Democratic Party and we can just save this country from financial ruin."

The discussion underscores the belief that Democrats favor increasing taxes without addressing government spending, contrasting it with Republican approaches.

• Greg Gutfeld [04:25]: "Bill Clinton knocked off about 400,000 workers... If Joe Biden had cut expenses, we would have said that a boy, Joey."

3. Former President Biden's Health and Media Scrutiny

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to scrutinizing President Joe Biden's mental and physical health, drawing parallels with past administrations.

• Jesse Watters [14:07]: "There have been a lot of discussions recently about your mental and physical capabilities while you were in office."

• Jessica Tarlov [14:38]: "Joe Biden, dementia, cancer notwithstanding, is an awful person. He's been an awful person for 50 years."

The panel criticizes the lack of transparency and accountability, questioning the role of the media in shaping public perception.

• Greg Gutfeld [15:43]: "Would you have shown Dr. Jill and her husband that much grace?"

4. Democratic Messaging Challenges and the 'Taco' Nickname for Trump

The discussion shifts to the Democratic Party's struggle with messaging, particularly in engaging male voters. The panel mocks the Democrats' attempt to nickname President Trump as "TACO," an acronym for "Trump Always Chickens Out."

• Shannon Bream [22:35]: "The left's latest line is calling Trump a taco, an acronym which stands for Trump Always Chickens Out."

• Jessica Tarlov [22:57]: Repeats "Taco" multiple times to emphasize its absurdity.

The panel highlights the ineffectiveness and trivial nature of such attempts, arguing that they do not resonate with the target demographic.

• Katie Pavlich [26:48]: "Olivia... Men are in fraternities and women are in sororities because I know what gender cannot."

5. Other Topics

Beyond the primary political discourse, the panel touches on lighter and miscellaneous subjects, providing a balance to the intense discussions.

a. Celebrity Ventures: Selling Bathwater

• Shannon Bream [31:13]: Discusses actress Sydney Sweeney selling soap made from her bathwater.

• Jesse Watters [31:46]: "There is no one on the planet who I want their bathwater."

b. Real Estate Obsession: Zillow Addiction

• Shannon Bream [33:23]: References a Washington Post article about widespread addiction to Zillow, the real estate website.

• Jessica Tarlov [34:02]: "Real estate, at a certain age, becomes your pornography. You can't stop looking at the next image."

c. Fan Mail and Personal Stories

• Jesse Watters [36:00]: Shares a personal anecdote about jumping off a dam during college.

• Greg Gutfeld [36:55]: Talks about sinking a friend's boat on a dare.

6. Upcoming Events and Final Remarks

The episode concludes with announcements about upcoming debates and appearances by the host and panelists.

• Jesse Watters [42:00]: "On Monday, I am going to be hosting the Senate Project debate between senators Fetterman and McCormick from Pennsylvania."

• Shannon Bream [43:03]: "I'll be on FOX News Saturday night with Jimmy Phela."

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Notable Quotes:

• Greg Gutfeld [04:22]: "Democrats don't have a plan to reduce spending and save us from the debt crisis."

• Jessica Tarlov [06:12]: "We just want to go back to five years ago. Can we just have a budget from five years ago?"

• Shannon Bream [22:35]: "The left's latest line is calling Trump a taco."

• Jesse Watters [36:00]: "I jumped off of a dam into a river, which was not a smart thing to do, but we did all live."

---

Conclusion:

The May 30, 2025 episode of The Five predominantly focused on political discourse, scrutinizing Democratic fiscal policies, President Biden's health, and the party's unsuccessful attempts at engaging male voters through trivial nicknaming. The panelists employed a blend of humor and sharp criticism to underline their viewpoints, interspersed with lighter segments on pop culture and personal anecdotes. The discussion reflects the show's characteristic blend of serious political analysis and satirical commentary.

Transcript

[Greg Gutfeld]

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[Jesse Watters]

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[Jessica Tarlov]

We are totally committed to making the.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Doge cuts permanent and stopping much more of the waste in the months to come. Many of the Doge people, Elon, are staying behind too. So they're not leaving. And Elon's really not leaving. He's going to be back and forth, I think. I have a feeling it's it's his.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Baby and I think he's going to.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Be doing a lot of things. But Elon's service to America has been without comparison in modern history.

[Jesse Watters]

Do you think would be easier colonizing.

[Katie Pavlich]

Mars or making the government efficient?

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's a tough call.

[Jesse Watters]

Mm. But that wasn't all from the Musk show. Ellen getting one last parting shot at the media over a report on his alleged drug use and explaining that mysterious bruise you see on his face.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There is a New York Times report today that accuses you of blurring the.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Whole thing between New York Times. Is that the same publication that got a Pulitzer Prize for false Reporting on the Russiagate. Is it the same organization that New York Times? Let's move on.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay, next question. I got one. What happened to your eye?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I was just walking around with Lelex and I said, go ahead, punch me in the face. And he did.

[Katie Pavlich]

Turns out even a five year old.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Punching you in the face, actually.

[Jesse Watters]

But Elon's critics won't let the billionaire ride off peacefully into the Tesla sunset. Some Democratic lawmakers are vowing criminal investigations if they gain back power. We can't be distracted by this Oval Office dog and pony show.

[Katie Pavlich]

The battle against Doge is squarely still here and we're going to have to continue to make sure that we hold them accountable.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Some crimes may have been committed over the past three or four months and they are going to come to light one way or another. Going to light even if it takes us getting into power again. But we will subpoena people and find out.

[Jesse Watters]

Oh, Jesse, they can't quit. Ellen, they're going to miss him. If they don't have him as a punching bag.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They should beg for him to stay because he's saving us a lot of money. Democrats don't care about that. When they did save us money, when Bill Clinton knocked off about 400,000 workers, we all said that a boy, Bill. Way to go. If Joe Biden had cut expenses, we would have said that a boy, Joey. Because we're not going to fight just to fight like they do. We fight for what's right. Now they're accusing him of being a drug addict. There was drug addicts in the last White House and there was cocaine all over the place. They didn't say anything about that when an actual drug act was running the country behind the scenes. I haven't seen any evidence of drugs, but I am suspicious of the black guy. More on that later.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Suspicious about black guys, black eyes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, Greg, The Democrats, when you ask them what their plan is to reduce spending and save us from debt crisis, they don't have a plan. Jessica the other day said, well, we have to raise taxes. Okay, well that's funny because you can't raise taxes out of a $36 trillion hole. Barack Obama raised taxes and the debt went up. Joe Biden could have raised taxes, but he didn't. Why not? So can't we just join together? And I say this to Jessica and I say this to all the Democrats. Why can't we be good partners? We're all Americans. Let's work together. Let's not just kick the can down the road like you Guys do and then explode when anybody tries to fix the problem you created. We are going to die as a country. I don't want to die together. I want to live together in harmony with the Democratic Party and we can just save this country from financial ruin. We can do this. I know we can.

[Jesse Watters]

Jesse, maybe you could buy a Coke for Jessica. For those of us.

[Katie Pavlich]

The Coca Cola.

[Jesse Watters]

Old enough to remember the commercials of Pepsi. I feel Noah's cock. It was. I feel like you're about to burst into. I'd like to buy the world a dream. It was a Pepsi.

[Katie Pavlich]

Can you work together that specific ad campaign you're trying to coach on it? Forget it.

[Jesse Watters]

Can you work together with Jesse?

[Katie Pavlich]

100%. But Jesse's got to give up his tax cut and he won't work with. No, he's. He's rich and he needs that cut.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not a tax cut. You're getting an keeping the tax rates the same.

[Katie Pavlich]

Literally untrue.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's exactly what they're doing.

[Katie Pavlich]

No, it's not. It's just not true. It's not true.

[Jesse Watters]

But if it doesn't pass this legislation, the tax cuts will go away. So there'll be a tax rate.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Exactly.

[Katie Pavlich]

Oh, okay. That's the thing. Whoever sits in that seat, if you like half agree with him, then he says that he's right. Give up your tax cut and we'll talk about some cost savings. We'll go. I mean, Pete Hegseth promised us an audit of the Pentagon.

[Jesse Watters]

There never.

[Katie Pavlich]

It's never happened. They're getting a bigger budget. Let's talk about cuts to national defense. What do you say?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I love.

[Katie Pavlich]

All right, is there way long Pentagon?

[Jessica Tarlov]

What?

[Jesse Watters]

Is there waste within the Pentagon?

[Katie Pavlich]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure there's waste everywhere. But at the moment, where you are supposed to be talking about waste, you don't need this massive transfer of wealth to the wealthy. And the 2017 Trump tax cuts actually did have more for the lower classes than this package does. People earning over $50,000, their incomes are going to go down. People earning over. What is it? Four million? For sure. And I think even over two and a half million are going to get a lot more money because of their cut. Because of the tax cut. Just. If that was a Democratic dogemaster that showed up with a shiner and there was a report that he did so much ketamine that he couldn't pee straight, you would be leading your show with it. 100%.

[Jesse Watters]

Can I bring in Greg here because he's filthy rich. So I want to know what he's.

[Katie Pavlich]

Yeah. What do you think of your filthy rich?

[Jesse Watters]

Filthy and rich.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Well, no, again, Jessica proves Jesse's point that they say that they are for the idea but not the process. It is always that off ramp to actually doing something that they will find, whether it is crime, immigration, or the economy. I definitely want to get rid of waste, fraud and abuse. Except, wait, but I want safer streets. But what about no cash bail? We want an immigration process just like you, except we don't like the way you're doing it. And then, you know, we realize they don't have a replacement. The idea of talking about these tax cuts is not even close to being a solution. The solution is cutting spending. We're spending ourselves off a cliff and you're saying we need to raise taxes. Why? Because you know you can't cut spending. You want to raise taxes because you know you will never, ever, ever cut spending. We just want to go back to five years ago. That's all we want. Can we just have a budget from five years ago that's not too bad. Pre Covid. Why can't we do that, you guys? All right, I want to go back to the front part of this segment where these Democrats were pushing the bad things that happened because of Doge, that there were crimes committed. Okay, let's compare their predictions to the other side's predictions. We sat here and predicted the border crisis. They didn't. They mocked us. We predicted the trans issue. We knew this was going to be a big deal. They didn't. They called us transphobic. We knew that there was going to be a Ferguson effect After George Floyd, they said no crime was getting better. They were wrong. Joe Biden's unwellness, Kamala's incompetence. We were the ones that when we made predictions because of our filter were correct. Compare that to the other side. Nothing that they predict, which is always existential, apocryphal, delusional. Never happens. Right. What did they say? Threat to democracy, the planet's going to end. The laptop is fake. Russians are behind this. None of that panned out. And now what they're saying about Doge, they're saying, oh, my God, people are going to starve. So they were actually taking the debt? No. Oh, my God. Let me finish for once.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Overweight.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You have 86. My point being is you have. You've lost the right for people to believe your hypothetical fantasies because they're never right. And you're willing to take the debt crisis and crush it under Another fantasy. We don't believe you. And guess what? We don't have reason to believe you. And like you brought up, you brought up the, the Elon Musk drug thing. Why should we believe that when it comes out now? Do you think using your what if this happened? Or what if this. What if he came out in support of Bide? He never would have heard about the ketamine. But he's pro Trump, and now you're talking about the ketamine. He's having an impact as a public servant on America. Now you bring up the ketamine. You know what's funny? This guy is doing nothing but service. He's getting nothing out of this. That used to be a Democrat, that used to be a public servant, and now a guy who creates neuralink, creates an Internet process for the poor. Electric cars, robots, rockets that save astronauts. He's a public servant who's also the richest man, and you guys don't like him. He's exactly what a Democrat used to be, a public servant, but now you only serve yourselves. You're like, what can I get out of this? And if we use identity politics, we can get everybody to declare what they want from somebody else. It becomes an attack over a finite pie when he just wants to expand it. There, I've said enough. I think I can go home early.

[Jesse Watters]

Sign by me there. Katie, would you like to wrap it up?

[Shannon Bream]

I would love to. So, going off of Greg's point, Democrats entire survival and existence depends on a bloated government. Whether it's taxpayer dollars going to NGOs for their pet projects, taxpayer money going to these big universities where they can indoctrinate all these kids to then go out into the world and spew liberal ideology and to talk about how we need even more government spending. The list goes on and on. The handouts that they want through the government, the federal government has no business engaging in. Democrats are perfectly happy with having rampant corruption, government waste that's going to tank the country into oblivion because of all the debt that we have, so long as it preserves their political power and they're able to continue the Washington grift that continues on and on. Trump brought Ellen in, which is another example of how he does things very differently. Someone from the private sector to say, people have been saying for 30, 40 years that this needs to be done. You hear it today, I think that we should cut spending, but I just don't think it should be done this way. Well, which way should we have another commission to write a report among a report, another report to say that we need to cut this kind of spending, not to mention going in and finding it where we didn't even know it existed. And now it's Congress's job to do what they were elected to do, to go in and to stop the abuse of the American taxpayer, to codify these cuts, which 60, 70% of Americans actually agree with and move on. Because a country cannot survive, in Elon's words, while we're ruled by a bureaucracy and not governed by democracy or in our republic. That's just the bottom line. So that's why they're so upset, because they're coming after the way that they survive. And Democrats can't survive without a big government.

[Jesse Watters]

Well, both sides have argued for decades that they did want to make these cuts. So maybe this sparks a conversation about how we actually get there.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I'm tired of sparking conversations.

[Jesse Watters]

I am going to stay optimistic. Optimistic to counter.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Stop it.

[Jesse Watters]

Yes, to counteract. All right, up next, the Democrats wish he would go away, but former President Biden is back and he says he is better than ever.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Hey, folks, Joe Fowler here.

[Katie Pavlich]

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[Greg Gutfeld]

Guess who wandered back. Joe Biden. Reemerging at a Memorial Day event four days after Memorial Day and his brain still cooking with no oil, he insisted he would have won re election and got real up close and personal with reporters.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I feel like everybody expects I've done it all because I'm loyal.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I do it every damn year.

[Jesse Watters]

There's also been a lot of discussion recently about your mental and physical capabilities while you were in office.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You can see that mentally incompetent, I can't walk and I could beat the.

[Jesse Watters]

Hell out of both of them. Do you want to reply to any of those reports and also to the.

[Shannon Bream]

Fact that there are some Democrats who.

[Jesse Watters]

Are now questioning whether you should have run for reelection in the first place.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Why didn't you run against me then?

[Greg Gutfeld]

And paging Dr. Jill, your testimony is needed. Trump was asked by the press if the doc should testify about her husband's decline while he was president. Do you think that Dr. Jill Biden should also have to come in and testify about what she did or didn't do? Well, I hate the concept of it. It's the wife of a man who was going through a lot of problems, and everybody that dealt with him understood that. And I guess it came out during the debate loud and clear. That was a big. That was the biggest signal of all. They have to do what's right. So that was a very gracious statement by the president. Greg, would you have shown Dr. Jill and her husband that much grace?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't know, man. Dr. Jill is like a dog who keeps digging up an old bone in the backyard and trying to bring it into the house. She's like, you know what? She's like the manager of Elvis Presley during those last days. Maybe I can just squeeze a little bit of money if he can just remember the words the hound dog. You know, I love how in every time they, they go up to this old guy, he always resorts to some kind of violence. You know, my critics, I can beat them all up. Dude, you got your ass kicked by stairs. You know, imagine if this guy had somehow managed to cross the finish line. If they take duct tape, this collapsing corpse together. Well, you don't have to imagine it. He's right there and he says, watch me. You know, we spoke up. But all those people, these, these dopes that are interviewing him, asking these questions like, oh, you're spawning over him is so grotesque. And they say they were duped. When I see Joe Biden, I don't see Joe Biden. I see the legacy media. I see Hollywood academia, the people that put their power before authority. Last word. Biden complains that politics has become so bitter, you know, maybe doesn't remember the things he said because doesn't remember what he had for breakfast. He in front of troops said, you know, he targeted troops over political beliefs. You know, he branded millions of people as extreme and dangerous. Not just the leader, but the supporters. Now he says, I want to unify the guy, put people in boxes, figuratively and literally.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I hate to say this, Katie, but Greg does have a good point.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, thank you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You think you'd have this opportunity with the former president after all of the stuff that has come out and these lame limp questions, that's what perpetuated the COVID up in the first place.

[Shannon Bream]

Johnny would never answer.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He would never hit him right between the eyes.

[Shannon Bream]

And then Joe Biden would threaten to beat him up and he would have to.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Please do.

[Shannon Bream]

No, we love Johnny. Please don't beat him up. For a guy who was at the beach all the time, he sure is out a lot now. I mean, he's out talking to reporters. I can't imagine Democrats like this. My Advice to him would be. And to Dr. Jill would to be get your story straight. Because this could have all been avoided if there were more transparency over the past four years. You bring the doctor out to the press briefing, let him answer questions from reporters. Even if they ask bad questions, at least you're showing that you're willing to answer them. There's still no answers about big, historic things that happened during the election, including the president dropping out. They posted a letter on Twitter and the President of the United States didn't come out to talk about it until 24 hours later. I mean, who signed the letter, who wrote the letter, who posted the tweet? I mean, these are things the American people deserve to know, especially because Democrats for so many years were subverting democracy by going against President Trump with all this deep state strategy. And yet when it came to President Biden, we have no transparency about really big things that voters deserve to know about the president.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What would you have asked him in this moment, Jessica? Would you have asked him about the auto pen?

[Katie Pavlich]

I probably would have asked him what your reporter did. How are you feeling and how's your treatment going? Because he has started his cancer treatment. That's at the point. Would you like to echo?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I agree that was a nice gesture, but then you.

[Katie Pavlich]

But they did.

[Shannon Bream]

But see, now we're not allowed to talk about it because of that.

[Katie Pavlich]

No, we're. We're absolutely allowed to talk about it. I'm not.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't.

[Katie Pavlich]

That he's taking a pill.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't believe anything. But I can't.

[Katie Pavlich]

I'm not.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I cannot. I can no longer believe anything.

[Katie Pavlich]

You never believed?

[Jessica Tarlov]

No, I used to have some trust. It's dead. If he says he's taking a pill, I don't believe him.

[Katie Pavlich]

But guess what the good news is it doesn't matter. That is, he's not the president anymore. Move on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Thank God for us.

[Katie Pavlich]

Thank God. So you know who the president is?

[Jessica Tarlov]

No help from you.

[Katie Pavlich]

Well, I wasn't going to vote for the guy. Then the actual president is asked about Joe Biden's cancer to stay on theme. And he said, if you feel sorry for him, don't feel so sorry because he's vicious. Really feel sorry for him. Now contrast that with how Joe Biden acted after the Butler assassination attempt. But then we actually. The president's behavior gets better today because he says he hasn't been asked yet, but he think about pardoning Diddy because Diddy liked him a lot. All right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

He tried to put him in prison, Jessica. He raided his house. Come on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Joe Biden, dementia, cancer notwithstanding, is an awful person. He's been an awful person for 50 years. I want to be sympathetic. I said I want to be sympathetic.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it's all gone.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The guy tried to destroy this country. Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And his corrupt Secret Service is what got Trump shot. Over to you.

[Jesse Watters]

Okay, well, I.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Optimistic.

[Jesse Watters]

I'm going to be optimistic. And that I will be very interested to see what the Senate and the House do if they actually get anybody to come in. No subpoenas yet. I don't know if they go there, but when President Biden says they should have run against me, Dean Phillips, who was a congressman at that time, was the only one who stood up and said he should not be running. He actually tried to mount a primary run against him. That's just one of the things that is covered in original sin. And that book has some other stuff. And aide told them, our whole idea was we just get him elected and then he can hide for four years. Which begs the question then who was going to be running the country if that was your plan? And also you have cabinet officials, secretaries saying that they were shocked when they saw President Biden, that he was hanging, his mouth was hanging open, he was disoriented. He didn't know what he was doing. Which to me begs the question, was there ever a discussion of the 25th Amendment? These Cabinet members told those authors we didn't think he was capable, some of them, of taking a 2am call. He had the new codes. He was the commander in chief. I think everybody has questions. And when he shows up, it sparks all of them again. And Democrats then have to answer the question, did you see something? What do you think? And all the 28 contenders are going to have to answer those questions. Chief among them, the former vice president.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well said. Way to be positive ahead. Democrats think calling President Trump a taco will somehow destroy his presidency.

[Jesse Watters]

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[Shannon Bream]

All right, the dopey Democrats are all out of ideas and continue to have problems with their messaging but they do have a new nickname for President Trump that they stole from Wall Street. The lefties latest line is calling Trump a taco, an acronym which stands for Trump always chickens out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's raining tacos today. I mean, it's not a good day for Donald Trump.

[Katie Pavlich]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Taco, Taco, Taco, Taco, Taco, Taco, Taco, Taco.

[Shannon Bream]

I'm waiting for them to ban Taco Tuesday.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Burrito. B U R R I T O. That would be a blatantly unconstitutional rewriting of the rules of international trade. How does it feel to be on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The other end of the nickname game?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not great, does it?

[Shannon Bream]

Not that good at this. All right. The Democrats messaging problems don't stop there as they struggle to connect with men. But they're hoping this Democratic activist can bring dudes back to the party. I love young men. I love frat guys. And in that, I've realized, like, even the ones that identify as conservative are almost always pro choice. They're almost always pro gay marriage. You'd be surprised at the number of them who supported Black Lives Matter. And so I feel like people just kind of lump them into this box when the truth is, again, a lot of them are with us on the issues. They're just not part of our coalition because they feel like they're not welcome. Jesse, as our man expert of what it's like to be a man, what is your response to this young lady's strategy?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is she young? I wouldn't go that far. I don't want to say anything rude. I'll let Greg handle that part. But when I'm at a fraternity house, I don't think I've seen a pride flag or a Black Lives Matter banner. And in terms of men, gay marriage and abortion don't crack the top five for issues. Unless you're a gay man, maybe, or unless the condom breaks. But that's not something we concern ourselves with. And we usually don't take political advice from women. We listen, but we make our own decisions, and we mostly listen to what other guys have to say. I'm just kidding, Jessica. I pay attention when you talk. I'm a little annoyed about the taco thing because they're saying Trump chickened out, Newsom went to China and was seduced like a woman. Remember they threw him in a toboggan and took him to a zoo and he was, like, grinning like a little kid. Swalwell's compromised by the Chinese. I mean, this is a very delicate dance we're doing. We just did war games. With the Philippines. We just did a missile deal with Japan. We're kicking all of their students out of the country. We have a 30% tariff. They only have a 10% tariff. We're about to raise tariffs on their pharmaceuticals. No one's chickening out, okay? Just let the process play out.

[Shannon Bream]

You panic ins, Greg, Tacos, chickens and burritos. Aren't they just making everyone hungry?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Well, you know, so you might think that taco is an acronym, but it's actually initialism in that the letter stands for something. But for initialism to work, you have to get it. And anyone, as you notice, shouting, taco, Taco, taco. You just think that the view is hungry again. Every 10 minutes are shouting some kind of food. And then you know what's great is the audience to throw the sardines at them over the fence. It is adorable. Now, when I, when I refer to affluent white female liberals, that's awfuls. You get it, it fits. It needs no explanation. And you don't, you don't hammer it around. You don't. You don't say, look at me how clever I am. I didn't even come up with that. Do you guys remember when John Oliver came up with Donald Trump? Oh, yeah, you actually remember that because nobody does. They actually launched a website and made hats. How did that work out for you? Nobody heard it, but it was, look how clever we are. Look how smart we are. Oh, it's his old people like. But it's not funny and it's stupid and it has no truth. This is why the left are terrible at doing memes, because they don't understand unspeakable truths that you could convey through imagery. They're more about distorting truth, saying that, like, boys could be girls and girls could be boys. Enough of that. The activist lady, what's her name again?

[Katie Pavlich]

Olivia.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Olivia. So I do not doubt that she loves men, but she shouldn't be eating. So many of them knew you were.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Going to go there.

[Shannon Bream]

So, Jessica, Democrats can't even define what a dude is. So how are they supposed to get them back into the party?

[Katie Pavlich]

We can definitely define what a dude is.

[Shannon Bream]

What do you mean, what's a dude? What is a dude?

[Katie Pavlich]

Boys and girls have different private parts.

[Shannon Bream]

Oh, okay, good. We're on the right track to existence.

[Katie Pavlich]

We're great.

[Shannon Bream]

A biology.

[Katie Pavlich]

Listen. Absurdly low hanging fruit to go after Olivia for her weight. They're also posting tons of pictures that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Was mean to mention. Low hanging fruit just because of her weight.

[Katie Pavlich]

The content of what she. She was saying, if you listen to the entire interview, you would completely agree with. She was saying that Democrats have stopped demonizing men. She said, just hang out and be normal. She was talking to go. She was talking about going to frat parties and just talking to people. And she is right. So many of the younger men that voted for Donald Trump are not Republican ideologues. They're people like Theo Vaughn and Joe Rogan, who used to be a Bernie Sanders guy. And they are pro choice. They are pro gay marriage. Now they vote on the economy. And this demonization of young men was a major motivating, motivating factor. But the Republican Party has all but squander that advantage now with young voters. Trump's back down 20. That's what the margins were in 2020. But as for the taco stuff, we didn't invent it. It came from Wall Street. It came from the people who actually need to follow him and they need to see what he's doing in order to make money, which is everyone's most important thing. So this isn't about us. And also, people find it fun. Like Donald Trump was mocked into running for president in 2011 at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Barack Obama mocked.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Don't argue with that. We're just saying it's lame. We're happy with you doing it, but I want to, I want to go. You're saying that this, this girl is right. No, she's not. She's committing, committing the fundamental sin of the Democratic Party. Look, trying to gauge people by their identity. Oh, they're guys. So they must like, they must like NASCAR and hanging out. You know what's great about guys? They like to bang chicks and catapultions, too. You know, it's a, it's, it's, it's a.

[Katie Pavlich]

Men are in fraternities and women are in sororities because I know what gender cannot.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You cannot talk to men as if they're an identity group because they don't. Aren't conscious of identity. And when we are wanted in a party, we get it.

[Katie Pavlich]

You don't think Donald Trump, then he says, like that broad over there, but nice politics. It's locker room.

[Shannon Bream]

In politics, authenticity. No, authenticity can't be made.

[Jesse Watters]

It has to be manufacturing. And we've talked about this, where they want to create their own version of Joe Rogan or whatever and things that aren't organic. Young people can sniff that out 800 miles away. As for this assertion that she made that they're with us on policy, they just don't know that they're welcome. Well, where they did feel welcome was the Donald Trump campaign because maybe they are aligned with him on those policies. And you can't just assume because they're young, they're more liberal. So when you make these assumptions, that's only going to push the away even.

[Shannon Bream]

More and it seems kind of fake. So that's why. Also why they lost. All right, up next, one celebrity is taking a bath to make some cash.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Hi, this is Joe from Vanta. In today's digital world, compliance regulations are changing constantly and earning customer trust has never mattered more.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Vanta helps companies get compliant fast and.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Stay secure with the most advanced AI automation and continuous monitoring out there. So whether you're a startup going for your first SoC2 or ISO 27001 or a growing enterprise managing vendor risk, Vanta makes it quick, easy and scalable. And I'm not just saying that because I work here. Get [e-mail].

[Katie Pavlich]

Welcome back. Time for the fastest. We haven't done the Nexio in forever because we never have time. Sydney Sweeney is making a splash and some cash with her bath. The actress is selling soap made from actual droplets of her used bath water. And it, it's Only limited to 5000 bars, so place your orders right away. Jesse, I'm sure you want to call her like a three or something like that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, no, no.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Eight.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't rank women based on their appearance, only personality. I have a announcement. I'd like to make Jesse's body wash. It's basically run off from my shower into a container and I'll be selling it for 14.99. It's a lot of hair made in America. People line up. Fox News, shop.com.

[Katie Pavlich]

Smart capitalism, right, Shannon?

[Jesse Watters]

There is no one on the planet who I want their bathwater.

[Katie Pavlich]

Just.

[Jesse Watters]

No, not even. She's gorge. No, I just. We can shower together. Whatever she is, she's very gorgeous. But I feel like in our house, if I was going to monetize something and have to do with Biscuit Bream, our lab, because Katie can speak to this. There's hair everywhere. Yeah, she might get a sweater line. You could weave that stuff together. That's all I got.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What if you find a hair in the soap?

[Jesse Watters]

Maybe there's Biscuit soap.

[Shannon Bream]

Yeah, that could work.

[Jesse Watters]

Yeah.

[Shannon Bream]

Because I don't know. Look, I think you get to a point where if you're this talented and this famous and as rich as she is, you don't got to sell bathwater. Right. Like you don't have to do this anymore or ever kind of thing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You think it's a money grab?

[Shannon Bream]

Well, clearly. But it's one of those things you don't have to do. Given her status in. She's an A lister. If you're not on the list, you don't have to sell your bathwater. That's what I think.

[Katie Pavlich]

Greg, do you sell your bathwater?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I have two words for this. Sperm banks. People sell sperm, and we're complaining about bathwater. What's more important in this world? Her dirty bathwater or, you know, sperm? I think this is a great commodity, selling something you don't need. I went to the orthopedic surgeon today, and I got my. I got my knee drained.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah. And I feel like. I feel like. Like I missed an economic opportunity. It was clear you would have liked it. But the thing is, I would sell my notes. I have 100,000 pages of notes that I. Why throw them away? I know somebody out there, and we go to the charity of my choice, which is me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't want your notes. I want Gus's dog poop.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It gets hard. You could put it on a plaque. Why not?

[Katie Pavlich]

Up next, the Washington Post claims that we're all addicted to Zillow now. And it's not just homebuyers who are scrolling the real estate website saying, quote, forget house hunting. Real estate listings are all about gossip, escapism, and scoping out your neighbor's bathroom renovation. Shannon, you're not so in on so much.

[Jesse Watters]

I'm such a detective in my free time. Especially like, you start dating someone new, I will tell you everything about them within 30 minutes, including you can look inside their house where they lived, and see what's going on in there. I love just kind of casing this when I have a little tiny time. Who doesn't?

[Katie Pavlich]

Yeah.

[Jesse Watters]

Voyeurism.

[Shannon Bream]

I like it when you're. You're in a new city and you're kind of interested to see what the houses look like.

[Katie Pavlich]

Well, there was a show, remember, that did like, this is your budget, and this is what it gets you in three different.

[Shannon Bream]

New place.

[Jesse Watters]

The guys don't care.

[Katie Pavlich]

Do you care?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, I don't. I used to just drive around sometimes on Long island and go to abandoned mansions, and then we'd, like, drive through the driveway, and then we'd try to break into the abandoned mansion, and. And sometimes people would actually still be living in the abandoned mansion. And then they'd come out and kick us out, and then we just act confused. I have found that acting dumb and confused can get you out of so much trouble.

[Katie Pavlich]

It can get you in a career and a career now. I think like you when it comes to insulting Jesse, you love real estate.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We trade like, yeah, real estate at a certain age becomes your pornography. You don't need it. You don't. You're not spending any money, but you can't stop looking at the next image. It's the idea of novelty that gets you going. I think they should do Zillow for like crack houses and safe houses. I would love to see that. I would like. And also I'm just interested in. When I'm looking at Zillow, I'm always looking at the crawl space.

[Shannon Bream]

Why?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't know.

[Katie Pavlich]

Fan Mail Friday is up next.

[Jesse Watters]

If you've heard that sound from Babbel before, I bet you do.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Babbel is the science backed language learning app that actually works with quick 10 minute lessons. Handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel.

[Jesse Watters]

Gets you on your way to speaking.

[Jessica Tarlov]

A new language in just a few weeks.

[Jesse Watters]

With over 16 million subscriptions sold and a 20 day money back guarantee. Just start speaking another language with Babbel right now. Up to 55% off your Babbel subscription at Babbel spelled B A B-B-E-L.com Spotify podcast rules and restrictions may apply.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The first question from Annie T. Have you ever done anything really crazy on a dare, Shannon? I bet you did. You seem like a wild flower, right?

[Jesse Watters]

I feel like I have to apologize to my parents before I do this show. No, I do remember in college one time at night that we jumped off of a dam into a river, which was not a smart thing to do, but we did all live.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, well, that's good.

[Jesse Watters]

Nobody was injured. But I. I don't think I do that now.

[Jessica Tarlov]

See, if somebody had died in that, then that would have been a great story because you could talk about it forever. And then. And then Alice died. We don't talk about Alice. And she haunts your dreams, Jesse. It seems like every time you open your mouth it's on a dare.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I sank a guy's boat. One of my buddies dared me to sink this guy's boat. So I went out to the boat and I took this like pickaxe that we found in the shed and I just started hammer and so it sprung a leak and then I jumped off the boat and swam back to shore.

[Katie Pavlich]

Wow.

[Jesse Watters]

I've got a lot of questions.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's really nice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

If you dare me? I'll do anything.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That person obviously was a hard working fisherman who fed his family with that boat.

[Katie Pavlich]

So you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I didn't really think about that at.

[Jesse Watters]

The time, about the statute of limitations on that situation.

[Jessica Tarlov]

All right, Jessica, you seem adventurous. You do the five every day knowing what to expect.

[Katie Pavlich]

No, I in like Truth or Dare. I always talk truth. I've done like that. Like, I've gotten a lot of speeding tickets.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I've never played Truth or Really? My life never wasn't a west coast thing.

[Jesse Watters]

Right after the show.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I knew I'd sucker in. All right, Katie.

[Shannon Bream]

I ate a raw salmon heart in Alaska after I caught a salmon in the ocean for Fox Nation.

[Jesse Watters]

How big are they?

[Greg Gutfeld]

A salmon?

[Shannon Bream]

Pretty big. Yeah. It probably was still beating. I don't remember.

[Jesse Watters]

No, no.

[Katie Pavlich]

Right.

[Jesse Watters]

I knew you were tough.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Well, a couple of years ago, somebody dared me to ask a woman out and you know what happened?

[Shannon Bream]

You got married?

[Jessica Tarlov]

No, it was Taylor Swift and I dumped her.

[Shannon Bream]

Oh, good job.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Do I have time for another one? If you were this from Frenchie, if you were a con artist, what would your scam be? You know, I'm gonna go to you first, Jessica, because you're always trying to con us.

[Katie Pavlich]

No, I. I was recently re watching Ocean's Eleven and I would like. I don't know if this counts, but like, I do want to be one of those people because I'm so tall. I love like the little people that can like crawl. Like.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah.

[Katie Pavlich]

In the thing. Like in a vault.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yes. Right.

[Katie Pavlich]

That I could go like over and under and remember the chunk of Connery movie with Catherine Zeta Jones with that incredible web. What was that called?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I'll get Chicks and movies. Right. They never remember the names.

[Katie Pavlich]

I said oceans 11.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Other thing that it was ocean's 12. No. I don't know, Jesse.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I would pretend to be conservative and then I would get on television and dress really nicely and then I would just climb the corporate ladder until I had a show and then just stay there for as long as I could.

[Jesse Watters]

Very convincing.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That was so meta that it's actually meta. Meta. Shannon, you would pretend to be a very religious cook.

[Jesse Watters]

Yes. Somebody who actually loves the Bible.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It could be a secret rising up.

[Jesse Watters]

No, I could not. I could not. No. I would try to convince people that I can cook because I can't. I can bake, though. If you need baked goods, let me know.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Baked goods?

[Jesse Watters]

Cobblers.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Katie.

[Jesse Watters]

Yeah.

[Shannon Bream]

I don't know about the scamming situation. Maybe like travel, you know, like you could Take the train and, like, get away with it and not get kicked off. I got kicked off a train in Switzerland once.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was very traumatic.

[Shannon Bream]

They kicked me off at the wrong ticket. They kicked me off in a field.

[Jesse Watters]

They'll do it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's crazy.

[Shannon Bream]

Yeah, it was crazy. In a very scary accent. So I walked across the field alone with my friend.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, God.

[Shannon Bream]

Free cell phone.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The Swiss. We should demand an apology.

[Shannon Bream]

You should Swiss kick me off.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't know what kind of con I would do. Maybe I would do that thing where it's like, I, my dog's missing. Can you come help find it? Oh, just to get exercise, that's all. One more thing's up next. America is in a race with this.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Episode is brought to you by Selectquote. Life insurance can have a huge impact on our family's future with Selectquote, getting covered with the right policy for you is simple and affordable. Selectquote's licensed insurance agents will tailor your experience to find a life insurance policy for your needs in as little as 15 minutes.

[Jessica Tarlov]

And selectquote partners with carriers that provide policies for many conditions. Select quote, they shop, you save. Go to select quote.com/Spotify pod today to get started.

[Jesse Watters]

Oh, boy, it's about to come to fist cuffs time. Now for one more thing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Jesse, there's a little bit of a trend here, guys calling other guys to say goodnight. All right, you just call your buddy up 11 before bed and you say, good night, dude. Have a great spot, sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Everyone's doing it. No, Greg, I'll call you tonight.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Please do.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Tonight, Jesse Waters prime time. We have Luna, Laren, Shimkus, and Moynihan. We do have one guy on the show, but we didn't put him in.

[Jesse Watters]

Because why would you? Greg, Are you that one guy?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yes. No, we have a. We have a great show tonight. We have the awesome Brooke Goldstein for our first time. Mike Benz, Emily Capagno and Tyra sets tonight at Tam. A real barn burner if you're into arson. Hey, it's Greg. Sexy Tortoise News. Nothing I like better than a hard shell. You know who this is, Shannon?

[Jesse Watters]

I do not.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's Hagris. Hagrid, actually. Tortoise at the Memphis Zoo.

[Shannon Bream]

I thought you're gonna say Brick Hume.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I don't know what he's eating some healthy snacks on National Turtle Day. Is this anything gonna happen in this video? Is he gonna roll around? This is not a sexy video.

[Katie Pavlich]

It's food.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm turned on. Well, you know, it doesn't take much.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It doesn't, it doesn't.

[Katie Pavlich]

Jessica, I'm scared for mine. No, it's, no, it's always boring. Community is rallied around a high school graduate that went right to work from his graduation ceremony. Georgia's 18 year old Mikhail Baker received his diploma and went right to a shift at Burger King wearing his graduation garb. A mother going through the drive through was Inspired, started a GoFundMe has already raised more than $22,000 in a matter of days. And while he planned to take a gap year to save for technical college, he's now looking into going straight to school.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Nice.

[Jesse Watters]

Congratulations. That's fantastic. Okay, I got some special stuff coming up. On Monday, I am going to be hosting the Senate Project debate between senators Fetterman and McCormick from Pennsylvania, 9am on Fox News. You can watch it live and also FOX New Sunday. I've got Senator McCormick for a preview. We've got Secretary Letnick to talk about tariffs and we've got also Congressman Jake Auchincloss, a Harvard alum. We're going to be in Boston. He'll be on set and we'll talk about the showdown.

[Shannon Bream]

That's great. I'm looking forward to that debate.

[Jesse Watters]

Thank you.

[Shannon Bream]

All right. Saturday night. I'll be on FOX News Saturday night with Jimmy Phela. So tune in for that. In the meantime, you're after finishing second place, 13 year old Faizan Zaki returned to the Scripps National Spelling Bee and took home a trophy. The final word he spelled the win was eclair sismon, which is a French word to mean clear up or clarify. And he said he was very excited and hyperventilating with excitement.

[Jesse Watters]

I'm excited for him. That's it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Listen to the all new Bret Baier.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Podcast featuring Common ground in depth talks.

[Greg Gutfeld]

With lawmakers from opposite sides of the aisle along with all your Brett Baer favorites like his All Star panel and much more.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Available [e-mail] or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Listen to the Five Ad Free on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Amazon Music with your prime membership or subscribe. Wherever you get your podcasts.