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Greg Gutfeld
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Kat Timpf
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Jesse Watters
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Kat Timpf
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Jesse Watters
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Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
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Jesse Watters
Hello everybody, I'm jesse waters along with joey jones, cat timf, lisa booth and greg gutfeld. It's five o' clock in new york city and this is the five. Another day, another scandal for the Democrats. Shell shucking sex pest. The New York Post talking to one of Graham Platner's former lovers, a left wing streamer who claims that Platner bragged to her that the Nazi tattoo was a reminder that, quote, the U.S. was the evil bad guy overseas. And she's got the receipts mom texts from September 2025, way before the country knew of the nipples seen around the world. She blasted him for his Nazi tattoo, having small manhood, and claims that he tarnished a reputation by using her to step out on his fiance. But P Hustle thinks Trump's the bad guy.
Joey Jones
They said you are, quote, the worse than any human being that's ever run for office. Probably. What did you think when you heard that?
Greg Gutfeld
Well, coming from certainly the worst person to have ever run for office, I take it as an immense compliment. Much of the allegations that have come out as of late are literally just lies. And so, you know, I don't really. They've already gotten to the point where they're moving into just making things up.
Jesse Watters
The Rob R. Romeo also faces separate allegations from another ex that he physically threatened and grabbed her hard enough to leave marks. But apparently that's not a big deal to a New York Times reporter who's considered one of the founding fathers mothers of the MeToo movement.
Joey Jones
They're not about A boss and a young female employee being subjected to sexual advances. They were mostly made in the context of consensual relationships. There are these like very sensational texts about sex. There are allegations from former girlfriends that
Lisa Boothe
are not the way my colleagues reported
Joey Jones
them, were not like classic abuse allegations.
Jesse Watters
And let's not forget the Democrats other experiment to win back men. The Texas vegan who believes that there are six genders and God is non binary. Talafrico knows what a real man looks like.
Greg Gutfeld
A man takes responsibility. A man upholds his commitments to his family and his neighbors. A man does what's right even when no one is watching. And here's what real men don't do. They don't lie and cheat their way through life. They don't sell their soul to the highest bidder. Real men serve others. Weak men serve themselves.
Jesse Watters
Let's get a women's perspective here. Joey Jones.
Joey Jones
What great start kicks for all of us.
Jesse Watters
Tell me what you think of the latest allegations against Platt.
Kat Timpf
Here's what I want to say. Number one, each individual one of these things. I've got friends that represent just about every one of them. Like, I've got a buddy that's got a tattoo he needs to get rid of. I've got a buddy that's been terrible with women. I've got a buddy that's, you know, said all the, you know, unspoken truths about the Port of John. But we do it in like group text or we do it in by the campfire. We do it in joking, we do it with dark humor and we do it for a reason that Platner tries to claim, which is almost just like, well, well, I went to war and war was so bad. So I got to come back and be an a hole to everybody. And it's like, no, bro, you got to come back and grow up. Like you eventually got to grow out of it. Like all those buddies I just talked about, they've gone through programs, they've reclaimed their lives and they're pushing forward. So you can't both be a veteran that gets to be, you know, terrible in character and everything else because of war and also ready to go be in the Senate. But I just want to say something we don't talk about. He supports red flag laws for guns. He supports universal health care so you can have taxpayer funded abortion, gender affirming care. He's against bans on trans girls in sports. He wants to defund ICE through congressional investigations for ICE officers. He thinks we should be friends with China and partner with them. For climate change. They would be a great partner for that. He wants to remove federal taxes on gas. We're like, okay, I'm listening. But he wants to replace it with a windfall tax. So anytime oil and gas makes any money, it all comes to us to. Oh, to do a massive federally funded bailout on the infrastructure of solar and wind. So Solyndra all over again. It's okay to talk about the fact this dude's policies are trash. He may be trash too, but we don't talk about the fact his policies are. And you know what? If the people in Maine want that for their policy, then that's who they should vote for. Because I don't think as bad as his character is, he's worse than half the people in D.C. that are doing a lot better job of hiding it.
Jesse Watters
You think his horrible policies, Kat, are kind of flying under the radar while everybody feasts on his tabloid scandals?
Lisa Boothe
Policy is absolutely flying under the radar because there's always. Cuz his scandals are uniquely bizarre in a way. Right? There's a lot of terrible people in politics, obviously, but the fact that this is coming out, that two women are saying he knew this was a Nazi tattoo and still had his shirt off, this much is what really blows my mind more than anything. I know a lot has come out, but he used this as a defense of like, I obviously didn't know I had my shirt off all the time. Who would do such a thing? And now that's what I'm asking. Cuz I thought that he. There's no way he could have known because he had his shirt off so much. That is a strange kind of illness. I don't think people care that much. I mean, with politics now it becomes this reverse, you know, I know you are, but what am I? But it's like, oh, I know I am, but what are you. Where it's this side did this, this side did this, this side did this. And I think that he could get elected despite all this stuff. But you know what's messed up is, you know what he could never do? Be on Love Island. He could never make it on Love Island. We hold people who are going to be on reality TV shows till way, way higher standards than we do anybody who is actually gonna be in a position to make policy that affects the rest of us.
Jesse Watters
That girl, what was her? Frankie from the Bachelorette?
Lisa Boothe
Oh, yeah, Frankie Paul bounced. She did this guy in the vicinity of her child that may have hit her child. Yeah, that's a bad example.
Jesse Watters
That is a bad Example. I'm kind of close to a better example. I don't watch a lot of reality tv.
Lisa Boothe
I love the spirit of what you're saying, but that was a horrible ex in Love Island. Okay, These are all people in their early 20s. There have been three people in the past year that have been canceled, either from before they were on the show or after they're on the show for saying slurs. Not great. Obviously. Not pro slurs, obviously. However, what they're being elected to is to make out with each other in bikinis, sometimes covered in paint, on an island in Fiji. That is what impacts none of us.
Jesse Watters
You're saying the standards are lower for the Senate than they are for Love Island?
Lisa Boothe
Way lower. It's not even close. If you were poke. If you were Pocahontas for Halloween when you were four years old, you can't be on Love Island. You can't be. But you can have a Nazi tattoo. And also, I love. I love the whole. Well, it was mostly consensual because there are allegations of physical abuse. So, yes, it's just because politics has gotten so part as. It was like, well, you know, but the other side did this. Well, you know, but the other side did this. Well, but the other side did this. And then we end up just talking past each other and having. And it's just. It just becomes so insane what people are willing to accept.
Jesse Watters
It is pretty insane. I'm learning now that, I guess this woman found out that Platner was engaged while she was sleeping with Platner. I never even knew he broke off an engagement. So why was the engagement broken off? That's what we need to find out. What happened there?
Joey Jones
Well, this guy's had a lot of really bad breakups. And, you know, it's bad.
Lisa Boothe
Doesn't mean anything.
Joey Jones
Like, one of the exes even had to get a jab in about, like, his manhood size. So, you know, that was a really bad breakup to get that jab in there. But here's the thing. I worked in politics before getting into this job. I was a vice president, polling firm. I worked on it as a communications director on a Senate race. Nrcc. The list goes on. The challenge that Republicans face is at some point, you reach oversaturation, where it just starts to be baked into. This is just who this individual is. Like, for instance, that's just another woman with Bill Clinton. Right? Like, it stops hitting. Voters just start shrugging it off. Whereas, for instance, if we found out Mike Pence was having affairs, that would be politically devastating. For his career because it's contradictory to who he is as a man. Democrats have been behind some of this opposition research that has surfaced against Graham Platner. Chuck Schumer wanted Janet Mills to be the candidate. He recruited her. But that came crashing down on primary night when a grand platner got over 70% and it was game over. He's going to be the nominee. If I'm Republicans, I'm holding the good stuff. I have till closer to the fall because new information is always going to be more potent than what's already baked into the political atmosphere. I also think Platner, he's a creep, but he's an effective creep. He's done a good job of positioning himself. Us versus them, the anti establishment candidate, similar to what Donald Trump has done in the past. The last thing I'll add is ultimately this race could be outside of either candidate's control. What does the overall political environment looks like if it look like, if it's a wave, it could end up just sweeping Platner into office.
Jesse Watters
Well, the good thing, Greg, about Platner is that now the Democrats can't point their fingers at us about anything.
Greg Gutfeld
That is true. Once again, we get more freedom because they disown their own principles. You know what, though? There are two cover ups going on. There's the, by the way, Joey, I'm glad you didn't cover up your chest today. The first obvious cover up is the tattoo. He literally covered it up. And the reason why he covered it up is because he knew that it was a Nazi tattoo. How do you know that? Because there are different stories that he uses depending on who he woos. So if he's trying to pick up a socialist chick, he says, I had this tattoo to remind me how bad America was. And then when he wants a right wing chick, he says, this is to remind everybody I'm a stone cold killer. Yeah, you know, it was like this guy, this was his pick, this was his flair. This is what he had to get chicks. It's like when I talk about my charity work, but. But then, but then, okay, so we, by focusing on the sex and the gossip, we forget that story. And that helps him. The more you focus on the prurient stuff, you miss this stuff. But the bigger cover up again, as I guess it was, Joey started talking about, was the policy. So why isn't the policy, which is horrible, the issue, it's because the policy is excusing his behavior. The New York Times, other places, they don't talk about his policy. Because that's the reason why they're holding on to him. They hope that if we focus on the, you know, the women, we won't notice these other things. It's the. Again, for some reason, the Democrats have chosen this Trojan horse kind of mechanism, the same thing they did with Joe Biden. If it looks like something we can slip in this radical Persona underneath it. Just because he has a walrus mustache and a voice like, what's he got? A voice like. He's got a voice like a Wilford Brimley. Wilford Brimley on whaluds. And that way, like, we kind of overlook the fact that he's basically aoc. But worse, he may sound like a Scranton pipe fitter, but he's a purple haired antifa screamer. He's another Trojan horse. There. There are millions of dudes out there with hard jobs who fought for our country who don't spout this socialist crap. Why don't they find that they don't want it?
Jesse Watters
Well, if he's a Trojan horse, he's a very small Trojan horse according to the X.
Greg Gutfeld
Well, you're the expert.
Jesse Watters
Coming up next, Hunter wants to take a crack at higher office. Cheers to America's 250th birthday. Get 20% off your first purchase at foxnewswineshop.com with code FNRADIO 2020. Discount excludes wine club offers and cannot be combined with any promotion. Expires July 31, 2026. Must be 21. Order to order.
Greg Gutfeld
Please drink responsibly.
Kat Timpf
Yeah. The Democrats have a new dynamic duo for 2028. None other than Hunter Biden is hopping on Gavin Newsom's podcast. And apparently the ex first son is looking to follow in daddy's footsteps by becoming the country's number two.
Jesse Watters
I'm joined today by presidential candidate Hunter Biden.
Greg Gutfeld
2028. Come on, Hunter, what's going on? No, no, no.
Jesse Watters
You got more buzz out there than you got the President of the United States, Donald Trump, talking about your candidacy for president.
Greg Gutfeld
I had to give you. I had to give you a break for just one day at least. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I'll. I'll run, but only as your. As your vp because the truth of the matter is the vice president's residence is a lot cooler. It's a lot easier job to.
Kat Timpf
Yeah, it looks like dirt bags stick together. Hunter's also defending Graham Platner.
Greg Gutfeld
I always say to people like, show me your phone, give me access to your icloud let's go through it and pull everything that we can that is inappropriate, that is off color, that is, you know that selfie that you took when you drunk off your ass and you know, you sent it to your blah, blah, blah, like show me your phone. And if that's the standard by which we are going to judge people, particularly people in elected office, then I don't think we're going to have many people in elected office.
Kat Timpf
Greg, you show me your phone, I'd be happy.
Greg Gutfeld
All you'd find are dogs and babies. I'm not so sure they're the right arbiters for this standard. However, maybe show me your phone isn't bad for a politician. I mean, we'll probably get so bad. No, I think it's just at least we probably would have saved ourselves a lot of trouble with these guys. They can offer to do it, they don't have to do it. But if these are the new male Democrats, you have Platner, Newsom and Hunter, they all fit under kind of one, I don't know, umbrella maybe call it the transactional victimizer. They will agree with your policies if you let them go home with them. I don't, you know, I'm not that interested in the contents of the laptop. The laptop is kind of like the tattoo in the sense that you kind of like forget what the real story is, which is the COVID up. And for a while there I was interested in Hunter as a guest. And then I just kind of realized, you know, he's just using us again. The way he used the government, the way he uses people. He's just, now he's got a new addiction and it's the spectacle of social media. I think he should be more modest about his political aspirations. Start out with like the city council of Oxnard. But, and I think the Biden name has kind of been worn out in politics. Maybe follow Dr. Jill, go to med school, you know, she's a doctor,
Kat Timpf
Lisa. So a lot of this comes from Hunter Biden putting out this really long X post. And he starts out saying that, you know, show me your laptop, show me your icloud. But then he like five paragraphs later he's like basically excusing everything he did, using Graham Platner to do it. So he's like saying, hey, I've been through the fire. And Graham, Graham Platner can too.
Joey Jones
Although I'm a little distracted by his new veneers. They're like too perfect. Have you noticed that his new teeth. But anyways, yes. So The Hunter Biden is just glad that there's finally a bigger creep than him out there. It's like, no, Hunter, not all of us have videos of us doing drugs with prostitutes on our phones and our iclouds. That's just you. So of course he's going to defend Graham Platner on that. Obviously the joke, the quip that Gavin Newsom made about him running for president, being vice president was just tongue in cheek. They were just being silly. But to Greg's point, it's interesting that he would even have him on a show, period. We all know that Jill Biden just came under fire during her book tour by reminding Americans about how much they lied to us throughout Joe Biden's presidency. We know that Newsom kind of stuck with him until the end. He was in spin room after that disastrous debate between Joe Biden and President Trump saying that you go home with the one that brought you to the dance still defending Joe Biden. The last thing I will add is that I think the bigger question on 2028 is what do Democrats inevitably believe? This is going to be the first time in over a decade that they actually have to run on something besides just anti Donald Trump. And we see them right now in the midst of a generational divide, an ideological divide, with people like Mamdani and Platner on the left in politics. So what does the Democrat Party believe? I don't.
Kat Timpf
Jesse, I feel like you got an answer for that.
Jesse Watters
Well, I was gonna say, I think he got the teeth from Bass. Remember, she's given free dentures to homeless addicts. Hunter reminds me of a fire that hasn't been contained. He's got that Trump 2016 energy where he's just gonna burn both parties down. On the one hand, he wants revenge on the Democrats for what they did with his dad, but he also wants to burn down the establishment because he said they're just a bunch of inbred elites who bank and holiday at the same spots. And you're never gonna deliver real change for the working class unless you get rid of those guys and get a new New deal. The thing is, he has a lot of skeletons, but we've seen them. We're talking full naked transparency. And he knows where the Democrats skeletons are. So when he runs his mouth, he's dangerous. You can't blackmail him. He's unblackmailable. But you can bribe him because he's still 20 mil in the hole. And I think he's out there kind of looking for a deal. He has Leverage. Cuz the establishment wants to get rid of him. They kind of hate him. But the Left, like kooky looney.com left, they love him because he's like a folk here. He's a little bit of a gunslinger, a survivor, you know, We've seen him with the pipe. He got out of it.
Greg Gutfeld
He's painting, selling. Then I've been. I've offered to buy some.
Jesse Watters
Greg, I will go in halvesies with you on a.
Greg Gutfeld
You should buy him up.
Jesse Watters
We'll put it in the office.
Kat Timpf
He got in trouble for slinging guns, though. He slung them with a trash can.
Jesse Watters
Or that is true. But now he's a free man. He's got the pardon in his pocket. He's got the freedom of speech, so he couldn't do a lot of damage. Whatever direction you point him into. I'm thinking right now Gavin probably booked him early to finesse him a little bit out of the gate. Because this guy is trouble for a lot of people.
Joey Jones
You mean it's not just the art that was selling?
Jesse Watters
I think. I think he's got his hands out.
Kat Timpf
Move away from Hunter towards Gavin.
Jesse Watters
Right?
Kat Timpf
He's got the Gavin. This is Gavin Newsom. He's got his podcast, his show. Like, if he does run for president, there's just hours and hours of him, you know, talking and saying all kind of stuff. Like, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it's like the biggest sleight of hand ever. And he's really just trying to prep for a media career after. After the governor's mansion.
Lisa Boothe
Yeah, that potentially could be the case. But honestly, I prefer Hunter Biden to Gavin Newsom. I do. Like, he's just. Because it is all out there. It is all out there. He doesn't. He's never really pretended to be anything but exactly what he is. He's like, yeah, I smoked a lot of crack. Like, yeah, that's me. Even when all those intelligence officials were like, this is Russian disinformation, he didn't sign that. He was like, maybe it's mine. I don't know. I don't know what. I did it. And I do think that there is something really endearing about that for people. I think he does have charisma. I don't think you get to sleep with your brother's widow if you don't have charisma. But I think that people like Gavin Newsom. He's icky. He's icky. And he's not like, hey, yes, I'm icky. I mean, Hunter Biden's on Twitter still talking about all the stuff he did and acknowledging it and like, yep, I'm that guy. Yeah, I smoke crack. Yeah, that was me. I don't know. There's not a lot of self deprecation in politics because a lot of people who go into politics are so obsessed with themselves and not in the self deprecating way.
Jesse Watters
Are you saying that Newsom's ickier than Hunter Biden?
Lisa Boothe
Absolutely, I'm saying that, yes. Wow. Absolutely. I'm saying Hunter's like, yeah, you know what? Yes, he paid women for their time. Okay. But he admitted, he admits that. And he's like, okay, I'm honest. This and that. And I do think that if you look at anyone's phone ever, there would be something you could find on there that you don't want the public to see. Have I ever smoked crack? No, not to brag. I have not. However, does that mean I want everyone to have access to all my stuff? No. I also do not. I think that's something. That's a great point. However, I do think that Gavin Newsom, he's just, he's, you know what he is, he's smarmy.
Jesse Watters
He's smarmy. Yeah. I've been called.
Lisa Boothe
I'll take a crackhead. Recovered, especially any day.
Joey Jones
Okay, well, to your point about that was like when Donald Trump, remember in 2016 when they were accusing him of donating to Democrats and he was like, yeah, I can buy them. And then you're kind of like, all right, you know, like to your point about Hunter Biden just owning brutally honest.
Kat Timpf
Okay, we've settled it. Hunter Biden, 2028. All right, coming up next, liberals like Whoopi Goldberg, they're going off deep end. After President Trump made the reflecting pool. We made it. Great again. Stick with us.
Joey Jones
Welcome back. Well, apparently liberals want America to be filthy and disgusting. For America's big 250. President Trump's renovation of the reflection, the reflecting pool, is complete, which the president says removed 10 dumpsters worth of garbage from it. And I believe it. But for some reason, cleanliness in the Capitol is driving the left absolutely nuts. The White House is blasting the Washington Post for claiming that the reflecting pool looks almost the same after the renovations. And the ladies of the View are absolutely crashing out.
Greg Gutfeld
We are. Every one of us are working our tails off.
Joey Jones
And you keep coming to us for
Jesse Watters
some reason,
Joey Jones
some nonsense stuff for not smart stuff.
Greg Gutfeld
None of these folks are making over their reflective pools or Building giant arches in their backyards.
Lisa Boothe
They're trying to feed their families.
Joey Jones
They're trying to put gas in it
Lisa Boothe
because they're trying to get to work.
Joey Jones
Meanwhile, one angry liberal in D.C. went beyond criticism and vandalized the National Mall by burning a giant 8647 into the grass. And we are told that it's not Jim Comey. So on it. Jesse, let's start with you. So I think everyone should look beautiful on their birthday.
Lisa Boothe
Shouldn't America know when you have people
Jesse Watters
coming over, you clean up, right? Maybe you buy something new to screws up the place. You have someone cleaned up. It's not like Trump's out there digging holes and fill in the pool water. But listen, he is building. The ballroom is an architectural masterpiece. It's designed in the neoclassical style, which liberals hate because that was the preferred style of the founders, who modeled that style after ancient Greek and Roman architecture. They took all of their philosophy from the ancient Greek and Romans. And so when you see these soaring columns and the noble statuary and the exquisitely designed reflecting pools, when you let that go into disrepair, you're doing that on purpose. You're purposely subverting the greatness of America, the bedrock of Western civilization. You want people to be depressed. You don't want them to feel worthy of having big, beautiful things. You want them walking around in public spaces with grime and graffiti and homelessness and crime. So when Trump builds things in this style, it is a direct contradiction of their worldview. He's saying, yes, we are a great country, and we have been a great country. They don't believe that. They believe this is an America in decline. America was never great. So it is a physical and visual reminder of our greatness and our connection to our European heritage. And that's why they're nuts about it.
Joey Jones
So, Greg, why do you think the left is so oppositional to this? Is it the patriotism? Is it the renovations themselves? Or how do you view this?
Greg Gutfeld
Well, I think what Jesse said is, is right on the money. When Trump. And when Spencer Pratt said, you don't have to live this way, the best way to do that is to show something aspirational. So when you show. When this happens, you're actually telling these. Telling the sheep that the Democrats want to convince it will never get any better, that it can. You show the before and after thing again, I find this so interesting. Just as a. A weird human. Okay, if you look at. I wish you could get rid of the before and after, but you probably can't. When you look at the before and you look at the after, you can actually have a physical change in you. You actually can know, like, there's a foundational feeling that you prefer the thing on the right over the thing on the left. And that is because beauty, like truth, is a fundamental principle. There's nothing underneath it. It. There's no variables under. You just kind of know it. And so you need to. I think the left attacks that because they don't like objective values at all, whether it is objective truth or objective beauty. They prefer it to be all up for grabs because they still believe that the center of the universe is the human. There's no higher power. I don't know who said it. You can't attack truth without attacking beauty. It's why Antifa is a collection of just ghastly people. Trans women are like a mockery of femininity, fashion and music and culture. A lot of it leaves you empty inside. You compare the reflecting reflection pool to the Obama library. Yeah, One is open and aspirational and beauty, and the other is cold artifice. There's something about that that could be explained further by someone smarter than me.
Joey Jones
Well, you're pretty smart, so, you know, Joey, to Jesse and Greg's point, I mean, is it our nation's capital reflection on the rest of. Like, if you have a house in a neighborhood falling apart, it speaks poorly on the rest of the neighborhood.
Kat Timpf
Yeah, I guess. I mean, they call it a swamp for a reason. But there's a good Guardian article. It was sent in our packet. It's got a little sliding scale, and you can go all the way this way. It shows it blue. You go all the way that way. It shows it green and swampy. And it's like if you. If everyone in America sees that one little, like, graphic, they go, oh, I see why he did it. That makes sense. It literally looked like a cow pond. I've got one in my front yard. I know exactly what they look like. It looks like this. It's not a big deal. I love that Whoopi Goldberg is so upset that Trump spent one and a half Somali daycares on fixing this reflecting pool for the rest of the country to enjoy. The thing about public spaces, as liberals should know, is that we make them because we can't all afford them. So we have one that we can all go enjoy. That's what Washington, D.C. is. You can't have a building in the entire city that gets close to the height of the Washington Monument. So we can all go there and as we're driving in across any of those bridges, we can see it and it's this, you know, the shining city on a hill. Like, it's okay to believe in the fairy tale. It's okay to have this. It may not be a myth, but it can be the romanticized version of what this country is because that gives you something to aspire to and believe in. But they're the party of original sin. They're the party of colonialism, they're the party of oppressors. They're the party of you can't make up for the sins of your past, even if you're doing the good thing now. So of course they're going to have a problem with making Washington D.C. look more beautiful, which is ironic because they would have you spend all your money right there in Washington D.C. they would have it all go right there and then they could spend it for you on whatever they deem worthy, like leering centers, you know.
Joey Jones
Kat, you're a libertarian. How do you see this?
Lisa Boothe
Yeah, I. Low key, don't think it's that deep. I don't like see it as like a metaphor for like trans or oppression or any other things. I think, I think it's. That's what happens. The government does renovating projects. I think you could fairly criticize that. It was supposed to be 1.8 million, then it was 14.2 million. If you're someone who criticizes those sorts of things. I definitely am. Most of the people criticizing this are not right. They do not say anything when Democrats spend so much money on many other projects. If you're going to criticize this, you should take a step back and realize that the issue is there's nothing more expensive, project wise than a government project. And let that apply to your view of the government as a whole rather than just this one single pool, which, I'm sorry, as a scandal, is about as boring as a scandal gets that they're doing renovations of the capitol before the 250 year birthday of the. I mean, Obama tried to renovate this pool. This is the most normal thing ever. As a scandal. It's so boring. You know what it could be on Love Island?
Joey Jones
It's not a Nazi. Nazi tattoo.
Jesse Watters
I think the pool had a Nazi tattoo.
Lisa Boothe
There's no cocaine, there's no sex.
Jesse Watters
There's no. We're covering it up.
Lisa Boothe
Absolutely.
Kat Timpf
Going to say, Jesse, I think the
Jesse Watters
pool had a Nazi tattoo. They just covered it up.
Greg Gutfeld
But everything is a scandal when Trump is doing it.
Jesse Watters
Right, actually.
Joey Jones
There you go.
Lisa Boothe
All right.
Joey Jones
Well, I think we solved that the fastest is up next. Stay with us.
Lisa Boothe
Welcome back. Double Double Toil in trouble. Keep my bridesmaids out of any puddles. Brides are now dropping $15 on Etsy witches. Etsy Witches. In order to cast good weather spells trying to keep their massively overpriced wedding day safe from a total weather wipeout. I don't know, Joey. This kind of scares me because, okay, maybe. What if it works? What if it works and for $15, you have a good wedding day weather. But you've just cursed your entire marriage.
Kat Timpf
Why would you. Why would it be a curse? I mean, people have been doing rain dances for, you know, like, since before we settled this. This country. Like, it's a rain dance all it is. I mean, you know, I don't know what tribe they're from, but, yeah, it's rain dance.
Lisa Boothe
Etsy. They're from the Etsy tribe. They're finding these witches on Etsy. Jesse.
Jesse Watters
Well, where else are you gonna find a witch? Brooklyn.
Greg Gutfeld
Yes, I was gonna say Brooklyn.
Jesse Watters
Women are superstitious. You guys do all kinds of stuff. I mean, we are, too, when there's money on the line. Like, if I need someone to blow on my dice, go boom. That's how we do it. You guys care about weddings? We care about money.
Kat Timpf
Describe that person that you would want to blow.
Jesse Watters
Anyone except a guy.
Joey Jones
Not Graham Platner.
Lisa Boothe
Okay, I don't know. I was raised very, very Catholic.
Jesse Watters
I'm blowing my dice.
Lisa Boothe
I'm still a little scared.
Joey Jones
Makes me uncomfortable for some reason, but. Okay. But how do you know someone's a witch? Like, what makes them a witch? This isn't.
Lisa Boothe
They say they are.
Joey Jones
Yeah, but this isn't Harry Potter. There's not like a scroll school or the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you know? So, like, I feel like it's just a scam. How do you know if the person's a witch?
Kat Timpf
Well, you wait and see.
Greg Gutfeld
What?
Joey Jones
They're like, making it up.
Lisa Boothe
It's great, though. It's great, though.
Kat Timpf
Thinks she's a witch, right? If she floats, that's what it is, Right? If she drowns, she wasn't a witch.
Lisa Boothe
One of these stores, Greg is making over fifteen hundred dollars a week casting weather spells.
Greg Gutfeld
That is amazing. I. I am with you. Where there needs to be, like, a Good Housekeeping seal for witches because it's self identification. It's like, I can't say I'm a chiropractor. I've tried. It doesn't work. I Bought a van. I parked it out in front of places. Doesn't work. This is exactly like men saying they could be women. It's like, we have to go. Okay, you're a witch. Okay. But you know what? This. It's a vocation only for women.
Jesse Watters
Which is we can be wizards.
Greg Gutfeld
Yes.
Kat Timpf
If you want a good.
Greg Gutfeld
First you have to say you're a woman, and then you could say you're a witch.
Kat Timpf
In all seriousness, if you want a good witch. Weather witch. I think Fox weather keeps them locked up on the 12th floor up there. Whole little room of them.
Joey Jones
Greg, did you offer candy in your van?
Greg Gutfeld
No.
Joey Jones
No.
Lisa Boothe
All right, well, on that note, fan mail. Friday's. Up next, all.
Greg Gutfeld
Female. From Mike. This is a good question. You can rewrite the ending to a movie. What's the movie? How would you change it? Joey?
Kat Timpf
Wizard of Oz. She just gets stuck there forever. What?
Greg Gutfeld
That's funny. Well, at least you didn't say roots.
Lisa Boothe
All right, Cat, I haven't seen enough movies to answer this question. I like how they all end. Sorry. I want Happy Gilmore to win, and that's, like, the only movie I've seen, so I don't know.
Greg Gutfeld
Couldn't Happy Gilmore end in a better way?
Lisa Boothe
No. Well, if Chubb stayed alive. That's not at the end. That's in the middle. If the question said middle, I would totally know how to answer it.
Joey Jones
And if he kept his arm.
Jesse Watters
No.
Kat Timpf
You can be without a limb, Lisa. You still have a happy and full life.
Lisa Boothe
That's the double amputee side of the table.
Jesse Watters
Jeff. I was gonna say Back to the Future, but Michael J. Fax never actually gets back to the Future. And he gets stuck in 1957, and then he slowly disappears from that picture. You remember that?
Lisa Boothe
Yes.
Jesse Watters
That was crazy. That spooked me when I was little.
Joey Jones
I have one.
Greg Gutfeld
Yeah.
Joey Jones
So how to lose a guy in 10 days. She would actually lose him. Because you can't do all that crazy stuff and a guy still loves you.
Lisa Boothe
Yes, you can.
Joey Jones
I'm not.
Lisa Boothe
You can do way worse than that.
Kat Timpf
That's funny.
Jesse Watters
That's.
Lisa Boothe
That's like Exhibit A. You really can.
Greg Gutfeld
I think the first Star Wars. Luke Skywalker should have been killed.
Jesse Watters
What?
Greg Gutfeld
Yes. Think about all the time we have saved. We would have saved not having to listen to Mark Hamill for 40 years. Killed him off in the first season. I would have liked to see the shark and Jaws live because that would make sense for Jaws, too. I never understood how you could do Jaws sequels if the. If the shark is dead. Head Jos Jr. And in love, actually. The plane would crash.
Jesse Watters
See, I never watched that.
Greg Gutfeld
Yes. Do I have time for another one? Are we out? If you were in a band, what would you name it? Lisa. Oh, man.
Joey Jones
Can you come back to me?
Greg Gutfeld
There's no come back to me. You'll just have to lose. Your turn.
Jesse Watters
The cuticles.
Greg Gutfeld
The cuticles.
Jesse Watters
Cuticles.
Greg Gutfeld
That's very good, Jesse.
Jesse Watters
I just came up with it.
Greg Gutfeld
Cassie.
Lisa Boothe
I. I don't know, but I. I want to be the drummer.
Kat Timpf
That's not how this works.
Greg Gutfeld
You're not answering the questions.
Lisa Boothe
Well, because I don't. I. That's what I would call.
Jesse Watters
The band is a terrible name.
Lisa Boothe
I would be the drum. I want to be the drummer.
Joey Jones
The drummer girl.
Lisa Boothe
That would be the name of the band.
Joey Jones
That could be your band.
Greg Gutfeld
All right, Joey. Save this.
Kat Timpf
The Steel Toes. The Steel Toes.
Jesse Watters
I'm out.
Greg Gutfeld
I would. You know what? What? Go ahead.
Joey Jones
Well, no, actually, it's not funny.
Greg Gutfeld
It doesn't have to be funny. It just has to be real.
Jesse Watters
We're not surprised.
Lisa Boothe
Yeah.
Joey Jones
Why are you trying Jesse during the commercial break? Because they said one minute, and I was like, that's 60 seconds. And he was like, your jokes are terrible.
Jesse Watters
Don't tell them again.
Joey Jones
Okay, fine.
Greg Gutfeld
No name.
Joey Jones
Yeah. Not it.
Jesse Watters
No.
Kat Timpf
Nummy.
Greg Gutfeld
You know what I would do? I can't believe no one's done this yet. I want to be. I would start a band tomorrow. It'd be called the Dixie Chicks. Just like, why not?
Kat Timpf
Yeah, why not?
Greg Gutfeld
Why not? Call yourself the Dixie Chicks. It's out there. It's for you.
Jesse Watters
Oh, you can take that back. Yes, because they changed it.
Greg Gutfeld
They changed.
Jesse Watters
Did they change it to again? The Chicks.
Greg Gutfeld
Chicks take it hideous now. All right, one more thing is up next. Stop it. Lisa.
Jesse Watters
Time now for one more thing. Father's Day just around the corner. Check the calendars, guys, because the Fox Wine Shop has you covered. We got deals for a limited time. They're offering a buy one, get one free sale on exclusive. Greg. Exclusive USA. 250 cases, including these Heritage Red and Pinot Noir favorites. Three bottles. Get three on the house. Plus a Bogo case ships completely free tonight. Jesse Waters, PrimeTime, the new UFO files, 8 o'. Clock.
Greg Gutfeld
Gigi, where does the money go?
Jesse Watters
Into your big fat salary?
Greg Gutfeld
We're in a liquor store now. We're selling booze to our view. Where does this money go to us, Greg? Oh, it does.
Jesse Watters
Yes.
Greg Gutfeld
Never mind, then. Thanks, America. Buy your wine Tonight. We got a great show. Tom Shalhou, Jim Norton, Tyrus and somebody named Cat Timf. That's tonight at 10:00pm hey, let's do this. Greggs. What the heck is that with brushum? Do you know what an umi is? Jesse, here's an umi. Show the umi, for God's sake. Oh, that's an umi. It's a baby tapir. It's a primitive, solitary herbivore. It's often called a living fossil. Not unlike Brit Hume, because they've roamed the earth unchanged for 20 million years. It's a mix between a pig and an anteater. They're odd toad ungulates, most closely related to horses, zebras and rhinoceroses. Adorable white stripes, spots.
Joey Jones
It's almost so ugly. It's cute.
Jesse Watters
I think that's right.
Greg Gutfeld
I've heard that before.
Jesse Watters
Okay.
Greg Gutfeld
By the way, they have a funny habit of intentionally pooping in the water to hide their scent for predators. Heard that. So I'm not alone.
Jesse Watters
You're not coming to my pool party.
Kat Timpf
Joey turned the page on that one.
Jesse Watters
All right.
Kat Timpf
The Global War on Terror Memorial foundation unveiled a memorial. It looks like an architecture that sits out in front of hotel. I'm not a big fan. It's got grass growing on top of it. It was designed by a Japanese man, so that's very American.
Lisa Boothe
Why'd you pick it?
Kat Timpf
I'm just saying, like, you can weigh in. You can go to their website and let them know how you feel about it. And I suggest we do just.
Jesse Watters
Are you saying to downvote on the War on Terror Memorial? Okay. That's what we're doing, I guess.
Lisa Boothe
Cat, come see me do stand up comedy on the road. New Mexico. Honolulu, Honolulu Oxford, Irvine, California, Henderson, Nevada, Hagerstown, Maryland, Scottsdale, Arizona, Naples, Florida, and North Tonawanda, New York. Also, I guess. I guess a guy in Nantucket caught a shark. So if we care about that. Look at that. Look at that. Could you imagine doing that?
Kat Timpf
I mean, anybody could catch a shark on the beach.
Jesse Watters
It just sat on. You ate everything.
Greg Gutfeld
Joey.
Lisa Boothe
Joey. It's a great white in your Wheaties.
Jesse Watters
All right. That was a very good one, Lisa. I'm sorry. I bet it was a really great show.
Joey Jones
It was the best.
Jesse Watters
Listen to the 5ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership or subscribe
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Podcast: The Five
Date: June 12, 2026
Host(s): Jesse Watters, Greg Gutfeld, Kat Timpf, Joey Jones, Lisa Boothe
Theme: Debating and dissecting the day's most controversial headlines, focusing on political scandals, the standards in American politics, Hunter Biden's ambitions, and cultural hot topics.
This episode dives into the latest scandals embroiling the Democrats, particularly Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner; discusses political and personal standards for public figures; weighs Hunter Biden’s rumored political ambitions for 2028; evaluates the political symbolism of Trump’s renovation of the National Mall’s Reflecting Pool; and ends with lighter fare, including viral stories about wedding witches and playful hypotheticals.
[01:05 – 13:24]
Allegations and Public Reactions:
Unique Aspects of the Scandal:
[14:04 – 22:44]
Hunter Biden’s Visibility and ‘Unblackmailable’ Status:
Newsom’s Calculations & Political Image:
[23:13 – 31:10]
Symbolism & Liberal Critique:
Practical vs. Symbolic Responses:
[31:30 – 37:47]
Viral Trend: Etsy ‘Weather Witches’ for Weddings:
Fan Mail Q&A: Hypothetical Movie Rewrites & Band Names:
[38:08 – End]
On Scandal Saturation:
Double Standards for Reality TV:
On Hunter Biden’s Unblackmailable Reputation:
On the Pool Renovation:
On Witches and Self-Identification:
Best New Band Name:
The episode features the hosts’ trademark irreverence, sharp quips, occasional sarcasm, and rapid-fire conversational style. Perspectives range from conservative indignation to libertarian shrug, with regular detours into lifestyle humor.
This episode of The Five is a rollicking take on the latest Democratic scandals, the oddities of modern political standards, and the lighter side of American culture. If you want to hear sharp opinions on the overlap of tabloid and policy news, alongside hearty laughs about everything from wedding witches to hypothetical band names, this is a must-listen. The hosts’ personalities and banter bring context and wit to today’s most polarizing headlines.