Podcast Summary: The Five — September 1, 2025 (Labor Day Special)

Podcast: The Five
Host: FOX News Podcasts – Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Jesse Watters, Jessica Tarlov, Kennedy, Harold
Date: September 1, 2025
Episode: The Five 09-01-2025

Episode Overview

This Labor Day special episode of The Five takes a lighter, more interactive approach than usual, with the panel fielding fan mail questions on summer jobs, favorite movies, holiday misadventures, and nostalgic games. The show intersperses this with discussion on the state of patriotism in America, the rise of socialism in big cities, the ongoing Trump–Rosie O’Donnell feud, and some quirky trending topics. The chemistry and banter between hosts is front-and-center, with sharp commentary, humor, and playful jabs that define the show’s signature style.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Fan Mail Q&A: Summer Jobs, Favorite Movies, BBQ Disasters

(00:59–11:01)

• Best Summer Jobs as a Teenager

  • Kennedy: Managed Portland bands; got into rock shows.
    Memorable moment: “[Nick Muse] managed Portland bands at the time. Portland had a great scene and I got into all the rock shows for free, which was a dream.” (02:02–02:09)
  • Jessica: Burgers stand – "the burger girl", learned to cook and chat with locals.
    Quote: “I worked flipping burgers … it was a good way to learn how to cook a little bit and chat with the peoples. I had a great time.” (02:37–02:49)
  • Jesse: Internship at New York Stock Exchange, met Maria Bartiromo (“Money Honey”), later worked with her at Fox.
    “I actually work with Money Honey. ... And I've been working with Money Honey for all these years.” (03:27–03:33)
  • Dana: Nepo baby, insurance company job across from dad’s office; meaningful commutes and lunches.
  • Greg: Movie advertising internship (got to screen movies), pool monitor (“lifeguard instructed not to save people”).

• Movies They Could Watch Forever

  • Dana: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Scent of a Woman, Coming to America
  • Jesse: Goodfellas, Casino (“I just kind of stop everything I’m doing and watch those movies.”) (05:26–05:36)
  • Jessica: Pretty Woman, The Fugitive
  • Kennedy: Fletch, The Godfather, Crazy Rich Asians, Bridget Jones Diary
  • Greg: Last Tango in Paris ("just one scene", jokingly), also recommends Eddington.

• Barbecue Fails

  • Jesse: Nearly disaster—ran out of propane as food was on the grill, saved by advance planning.
    “But because I'm so smart, I had Sent Emma out to get a propane tank earlier in the day. So I did the switcheroo.” (07:13–07:19)
  • Greg: Can’t barbecue in Manhattan (legal restrictions), hardware store encounter.
  • Jessica: Disappointed with food at bad BBQs (“overcooked burgers, too many mayonnaise-y salads”).
  • Kennedy: Almost a fistfight at a Fourth of July party with a neighbor complaining to a yard full of cops; played "Deliverance" theme (08:23–09:00).
  • Dana: Puppy Jasper fell in pool at a friend’s BBQ, needed rescue.

• Nostalgic Outdoor Games

  • Tetherball, lawn darts, croquet, three-legged races, "pin the tail on the donkey," “van doctor” (Greg's joke).

2. Americans’ Patriotism & 'No Kings' Protests

(11:44–19:39)

• Patriotism Divide (Fox News Poll)

  • Only 36% of Democrats say they are proud of America, compared to 85% of Republicans (11:48).
  • Greg’s commentary: Media/universities teach America as an oppressor, leading to less patriotism among left/liberals. “If you've been told by universities and the media that America is a land of oppressors ... then patriotism would be merely supporting that ideology and therefore you cannot be patriotic, can you?” (12:00–12:17)
  • Harold: Laments Gen Z’s low national pride, blames political party hypocrisy.

• Dana’s Perspective on American Pride

  • “If you live in America, you won God's great lottery.” (13:17)
  • Highlights the need for follow-up in pride polls: “As compared to what?”
  • Criticizes American left's fondness for Europe, compares taxes/youth unemployment rates, innovation, NATO dues.

• Riff on 'No Kings' Protest and Military Parade

  • Jesse: Trump’s White House renovations vs. prior presidents.
  • Democratic "No Kings" protest: panel mocks the symbolism, says the U.S. has no kings, unlike Canada and UK (16:54–18:20).
    Greg: “It is amazing that they create ... a delusion that they create in their heads that doesn’t exist. We do not have kings here.” (16:54–17:06)
  • Panel frames the parade as true American commemoration without foreign-style authoritarian symbolism.

• Harold on Protest and Democracy

  • “The fact that the no Kings rally can coexist with a rally commemorating the bravery and history of the United States army is nothing more than a testament to the greatness of our freedom.” (18:50–19:10)

3. Socialists on the Rise: 'Zoran the Destroyer' and Big City Politics

(21:09–27:47)

• NYC Mayoral Drama: Zoran Mamdani

  • Jesse refers to him as “Zoran the Destroyer,” concerns about socialism/communism in American cities.
  • Dana: Dismay at the prospect of a self-avowed socialist close to NYC mayoralty. “I don't think Mamdani is the leader of our party or AOC is the leader of our party ... The problem is going to be that Adams and Cuomo can’t both be in because they’re going to split the moderate vote or the anti Momdani vote.” (21:27–21:44, Jessica)
  • Greg: Audience should not support anyone who “globalizes the intifada.”
  • Jesse: Slams Mamdani for “changing his mind on … the pillars of civilization … These are the same dumb Marxist ideas that we've been hearing for decades.” (23:14–23:40)
  • Dana: “He will run it into the ground. He will make de Blasio look like Rudy Giuliani.” (24:15–24:34)

• Critique of "Country Club Socialists"

  • Greg: Mocks the hypocrisy of holding radical events at swanky private clubs:
    “These are basically country club socialists. This is how socialism can exist because they're exempt from the actual results of it.” (25:55–26:10)

• Economic Affordability and Nostalgia

  • Panel recalls an era when single breadwinner could support a family, laments cost of living driven by offshoring, two-parent employment, and social change (27:00–27:47).

4. Trump–Rosie O’Donnell Feud Renewed

(28:24–33:35)

• Rosie O’Donnell Leaves US for Ireland, Citing Trump

  • Dana jokes: “But she did prove that self deportation could work, right?” (28:29–28:36)
  • Greg: Celebrities always blame Trump but the real reason is waning popularity:
    “No, it’s because she was a monster and everybody hates her. That’s the same thing with Rosie … It's literally an ego trip.” (28:43–28:58)

• Banter: Should Rosie Lose Her Citizenship?

  • Jokes about constitutionality of revoking her citizenship and even UN tribunal action.
  • Harold: Praises freedom to publicly feud; Dana and Greg argue that people use “aggrieved status” as untouchable shield against mockery.
    “Never, ever let anybody say [punching down is wrong] to you ... when you’re part of an aggrieved group, you actually have higher status ... Celebrities. Their status makes them targets.” (33:01–33:35)

5. Miscellaneous & Trending: AI Friendships, Adult Pacifiers, Time Blindness, Mail Theft

(34:10–39:38)

• Kids and AI Friends

  • Panel muses with humor about trading real friendships for chatbots.
  • Greg: “When I was a kid, all I wanted was a robot. … Now you can have a frickin robot in your house. And we’re going, oh, it’s dangerous.” (34:25–34:39)
  • Jesse: Jokes about his son ordering a “Russian mail order bride” via chatbot (35:13).

• “Time Blindness”

  • Harold: Introduces the term, panel mocks the tendency to label personality traits as mental disorders.
  • Greg: Philosophical take—“Maybe being time blindness is actually being able to see the world for what it is. We’re the ones who are the slave to this artificial construct called time.” (35:44–36:04)

• Social Secretaries & Gender Dynamics

  • Jessica: Cites New York Times on “man keeping”, women managing social calendars.
  • Dana: Admits to preemptively managing plans, not giving husband a chance.
  • Greg: Gender reversal joke—“Imagine this story in reverse … It would never be published.”

• Pacifier Trend Among Stressed Youth

  • Jesse lampoons “pacifier therapy” for stress, contrasts with real adversity (Vietnam War survival jokes) (38:03–38:25).

• Mail Theft in LA

  • Panel jokes about what’s even worth stealing from the mail nowadays (“birthday cards from grandparents”).

6. Nostalgia: Bring Back Discontinued Things

(40:12–42:02)

• What Should Return?
  • Dana: Meeting family at the airport gate (“I would like to be able to meet my family members at the gate at an airport.” (40:32))
  • Jessica: “Seatbelt” belts
  • Jesse: Candy cigarettes (“nostalgia stores”)
  • Dana: The penny (jokingly)
  • Greg: 70s-style last-minute air travel, buying ticket at gate

Notable Quotes

• Greg Gutfeld (on “No Kings” protest):
  “It is amazing that they create ... a delusion that they create in their heads that doesn’t exist. We do not have kings here.” (16:54)

• Dana Perino (on living in America):
  “If you live in America, you won God's great lottery.” (13:17)

• Jesse Watters (on NYC politics):
  “We’re just not going to allow a faction of radicals in a great city like this to come in, elect the guy, and have it destroyed. What kind of democracy is that?” (23:37)

• Greg Gutfeld (on “country club socialists”):
  “These are basically country club socialists. This is how socialism can exist because they're exempt from the actual results of it.” (25:55)

• Greg Gutfeld (on “punching down”):
  “Never, ever let anybody say [punching down is wrong] to you ... when you’re part of an aggrieved group, you actually have higher status ... Celebrities. Their status makes them targets.” (33:01)

Segment Timestamps for Key Sections

• [00:59–11:01] — Fan Mail: Summer Jobs, Movies, BBQ Mishaps, Nostalgia Games
• [11:44–19:39] — Patriotism Polls & ‘No Kings’ Protests
• [21:09–27:47] — Socialism & NYC Politics: “Zoran the Destroyer”
• [28:24–33:35] — Trump, Rosie O’Donnell, and the Politics of Celebrity
• [34:10–39:38] — AI Companions, Adult Pacifiers, Time Blindness, Mail Theft
• [40:12–42:02] — Nostalgia: Discontinued Things to Bring Back

Tone and Style

The tone is fast-paced, irreverent, and lively. The hosts mix serious debate with playful teasing, self-deprecation, and plenty of pop culture references. The discussion often transitions rapidly from one topic to another, maintaining energy and audience engagement.

For Listeners: Why This Episode?

This Labor Day special offers both a break from standard, heavier news fare and a window into the personal lives and banter of the Fox News panel. If you’re interested in the personalities on The Five, their views on America’s current mood, New York City politics, and culture-war oddities, this episode is rich in both laughs and pointed commentary.