The Five 12-25-2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Five — December 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

This special Christmas edition of The Five brings together hosts Dana Perino, Harold Ford Jr., Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld for a festive show packed with laughter, camaraderie, and lighthearted debate. The crew shares a Secret Santa gift exchange, reveals their Naughty & Nice lists, plays a trivia challenge, and answers listener holiday questions. Spirited banter and personal stories abound, making for a warm, genuinely entertaining holiday episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Secret Santa Gift Exchange ([01:04]–[15:09])

• Gift-Giving Antics: The hosts exchange anonymous presents, trying to guess who bought each one. The segment is filled with playful ribbing and reveals their personalities.
  • Jessica’s Gifts: Includes a spa day, limited-edition soap, and a brick from the border wall. Jessica jokes, “My favorite. So this spa air is by my house… It is amazing. It has all these thermal baths and it has a cold plunge and a hot plunge. Thank you so much.” ([04:25])
  • Greg’s Loot: Receives comfy loungewear, a Criterion Collection subscription, a voice recording button, and a pooping elf toy. He’s delighted: “A subscription to the Criterion Collection… these are great for lounging around at Larry Kudlow’s place.” ([05:54])
  • Dana’s Stack: Gets a book of John Updike's letters and a “Dog Mom” canvas bag. She notes, “I definitely needed a new bag this morning, too.” ([09:14])
  • Harold’s Haul: Is gifted a “Harold Ford Jr. New York City Mayor” jersey, a custom journal, and an Avett Brothers/Mike Patton album. Describes the journal: “I’m going to use this for our... oh, this journal belongs to Harold Ford Jr., in case I forget my name...” ([10:31])
  • Jesse’s Surprises: Receives devotionals, a golf club head cover, white jeans, and a Bill O’Reilly book. He jokes about sizing mishaps and pokes fun at the group dynamic. ([12:13])
• Quote Highlight: Greg Gutfeld on gifting misfires: “Women. Am I right?” ([38:11])

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2. Naughty & Nice Lists ([15:41]–[21:18])

Each host reveals their year-end picks for public figures and events deserving of praise or rebuke.

• Dana's Picks:
  • Naughty: "Phillies Karen" who kept a baseball from a child and never apologized.
  • Nice: The Sierra Leone Mercy Ships volunteer nurses Dana met.
• Jessica’s Choices:
  • Naughty: Bryan Kohberger, referencing the Idaho murder case and the compelling victim impact statements at sentencing.
  • Nice: Philanthropist MacKenzie Scott, for giving away $7 billion in 2025.
• Greg’s List:
  • Naughty: The Minnesota government, criticizing its handling of fraud and governance.
  • Nice: Scott Adams (Dilbert creator), commending the outpouring of support during Adams' cancer diagnosis.
• Jesse’s Selection:
  • Naughty: Gavin Newsom.
  • Nice: Gayle King (for a pleasant, unexpected flight conversation).
• Harold’s List:
  • Naughty: College Football Playoff Committee for its controversial selections.
  • Nice: Dolly Parton, praised for her literacy advocacy in Tennessee.

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3. Holiday Trivia Challenge ([22:42]–[27:54])

A lively, competitive trivia segment tests the panel's Christmas knowledge:

• Team Breakdown: “Short Kings” (Dana & Greg), “No Kings” (Harold & Jessica), hosted by Jesse (“the One True King”).
• Sample Questions & Highlights:
  • Most-watched 2024 Christmas movie? (“Christmas Vacation” was the surprise answer; [23:43])
  • KFC for Christmas is a Japanese tradition ([24:22])
  • Santa's original attire was green ([25:18])
  • “Eight Maids A-Milking” in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" breaks the ‘birds’ pattern ([25:51])
• Final Tally: The “Short Kings” win, with Greg nailing the Oregon Christmas tree production estimate: “I started with the population, and then who celebrates Christmas divided by the number of states, and I got 5 million.” ([27:49])

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4. Festive Fastest Segment ([28:18]–[33:41])

Quick takes on funny new research and holiday customs:

• Irish Exit: Over half of Americans bail early from family gatherings. Dana confesses a successful stealth departure from a function: “We said hello, we said goodbye, and then we were out and nobody noticed.” ([29:05])
• Artificial Tree “Dangers”: Greg reads tongue-in-cheek survey results sponsored by the Pine Tree Board, mocking holiday poll biases. “Artificial Christmas trees cause cancer. That’s according to the Pine Tree Board.” ([29:35])
• When to Decorate for Christmas: Debate rages about how early is too early to decorate. Jesse admits to changing his mind: “Now I’ve changed my position. If you want to decorate and get ready for Christmas in July, go at it.” ([32:40])
• Marriage Compromises: Greg warns, “Any agreement before marriage is invalid because you’ll agree to anything... Think of the things I agreed to before marriage, like breaking up with my ex.” ([33:16])

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5. Listener Holiday Q&A ([33:48]–[40:17])

Heartfelt and hilarious stories from the hosts in response to listener questions:

• Rejected Gifts: Dana laments a luxurious bag her sister never uses. Jesse recounts gifting a vacuum to his wife (“Didn’t go well for me. Later, not a fine evening.” [35:45]). Jessica laughs about buying her partner a suede bomber jacket that he hated. Greg tells of ordering 12 pairs of Amazon shoes — all returned.
• Favorite Childhood Gifts:
  • Harold: Pittsburgh Steelers bike (“Never forget, I was 7 years old, and if anyone’s out there... I’d love a grown-up version of that bike.” [38:19])
  • Jessica: “All the My Little Ponies” and Barbies were her favorites.
  • Jesse: Received a bike, which was later stolen (“Not gonna say the race [of] person... it’s immaterial.” [38:57])
  • Dana: A dual-cassette boombox, loved for making mixtapes.
  • Greg: “The Book of Lists,” a massive compendium that fascinated him as a child.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Regifting:
  Greg Gutfeld: “It’s gonna be really hard to re-gift this.” ([02:15])

• On Sizing Gifts:
  Jesse Watters: “You must think I’m fat... 34 is my waist. I’m not a 36.” ([13:41])

• On Getting the Perfect Child’s Gift:
  Harold Ford Jr.: “If anyone’s out there looking for a gift from me, I’d love a grown-up version of that [Steelers] bike.” ([38:31])

• On Changing Christmas Traditions:
  Jesse Watters: “If you want to decorate and get ready for Christmas in July, go at it… I won’t change my mind on the border, but that I’m open minded.” ([32:40])

• On Disastrous Gift Giving:
  Jesse Watters: “One Christmas, I... gave Emma, and I wrapped it, a vacuum cleaner... She didn’t take it well. And it was a bad Christmas.” ([35:22])

• On Researching the Best Christmas Escape:
  Dana Perino: “I did pull off an amazing Irish exit this holiday season that I am so proud of.” ([29:05])

• On Misunderstood Generosity:
  Greg Gutfeld: “Women. Am I right?” ([38:11])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:04] Start of Secret Santa Gift Exchange
• [15:41] Naughty & Nice Lists
• [22:42] Christmas Trivia Challenge
• [28:18] “The Fastest” Festive Segment
• [33:48] Listener Holiday Q&A
• [38:19] Favorite Childhood Gifts

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is marked by the hosts’ sharp wit, candid stories, and affectionate holiday ribbing. They seamlessly mix good-natured teasing with some thoughtful moments and personal stories, keeping the holiday spirit bright. From botched gift attempts to surprising acts of generosity, The Five delivers a fun, relatable Christmas conversation.

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Perfect For: Listeners seeking a playful, personality-driven take on the holidays, with plenty of warmth, laughter, and Fox News-style banter.

Transcript

[Dana Perino]

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[Greg Gutfeld]

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[Dana Perino]

Hello everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Harold Ford Jr, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Waters and Greg Gutfeld. It's five o' clock in New York City and this is the five. And Merry Christmas. We're so happy to celebrate today with you. We have a very fun show in store. Who made our naughty and nice list? Our day trivia challenge. And with a surprising twist, let's get to what we know everyone has been waiting for all year. It's our secret Santa gift exchange. But first, here's a gift to everyone from me.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Okay.

[Dana Perino]

Here you go. You just have to have this. You know this happens every year.

[Jesse Waters]

Thank you, Dana.

[Dana Perino]

Feel free to, you know, you can give it to somebody else. Cause I know that's usually what's happening here. Here you go, Greg. I have one for you, Jesse.

[Mike Emanuel]

Thank you.

[Dana Perino]

There you. Oh, this is the annual. It's the America 250 version of the Percy Wine.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Percy Wine.

[Jessica Tarlov]

What a great patriot.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How did you get the dog to get it in the bottle? I love that.

[Dana Perino]

It's really difficult. It's a skill.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. He squats for hours. You feed him prunes?

[Dana Perino]

Just a little. Yeah, just a few. Just to sprinkle that on the farmer's dog. Super cute.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's gonna be really hard to re gift this.

[Dana Perino]

Why people love it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I've done it before.

[Dana Perino]

People like it, you can see, but definitely drink it. It is not okay. Jessica, I guess we're going to start with you.

[Jessica Tarlov]

This is my number one present.

[Jesse Waters]

They're all labeled so these are gifts to you from who?

[Jessica Tarlov]

I hope so.

[Dana Perino]

No. No, we don't.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Have you ever been here before?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Look, man, I had a long night. Christmas Eve. Car broke down.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Did you sleep in that sweater?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, I did.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, nice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, wow.

[Jesse Waters]

I wonder who gave that to you from 2028. Jessica. Congratulations. You can wear it if you want.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Put it on. It will live forever.

[Jesse Waters]

Don't do it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It'll live forever.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Do it.

[Jesse Waters]

Do it. Put it on.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I live on the Internet.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

There you go, Jesse.

[Jessica Tarlov]

My hair is like.

[Dana Perino]

There you go.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Anyway, I. Judging by the gift, I know that Jesse would be the only one that would do that to me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

So. Yeah. All right.

[Jesse Waters]

Merry Christmas.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Thank you, Jessie.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You're welcome.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Super sweet.

[Jesse Waters]

You're welcome. There's more.

[Mike Emanuel]

Yeah.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I assume it'll get.

[Jesse Waters]

We got you a brick from the border wall. Don't worry, it's signed.

[Jessica Tarlov]

You're like. And then Stephen Miller, the sexual matador, will come to your house, sing Christmas carols.

[Jesse Waters]

Don't give me any ideas.

[Dana Perino]

Okay.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Okay. Oh, a Squatch. I don't know what that is. Oh, Sydney Sweeney's soap. That smells like her.

[Jesse Waters]

Yes. The Sydney Sweeney.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What is it?

[Jessica Tarlov]

And it's limited edition.

[Mike Emanuel]

Yes.

[Jesse Waters]

It was very hard to get.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Must have been buy one, get one free.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Jess.

[Jessica Tarlov]

She does have good genes. What does she smell like for that? It actually smells good. I mean, I assume she smells good, too.

[Jesse Waters]

You want to smell, Sydney? Here. It's good.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I don't.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't feel right doing this.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's not cheating.

[Jesse Waters]

You just cheated on a la.

[Greg Gutfeld]

She hasn't changed.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, over time. She hasn't changed.

[Jesse Waters]

There you go.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Now we're talking.

[Dana Perino]

Jessica Spa.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jessica Spa day.

[Jesse Waters]

Jessica. You deserve it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

This could be a next year.

[Jesse Waters]

Put up with so much abuse from Greg.

[Jessica Tarlov]

My favorite. So this spa air is by my house. It's where I told you to send Alayna to go with her. Maybe. If you want. It is amazing. It has all these thermal baths and it has a cold plunge and a hot plunge. Thank you so much.

[Jesse Waters]

You're welcome. It's actually a his and hers massage, so we're going to get it together.

[Jessica Tarlov]

And then you're going to catch. Right.

[Jesse Waters]

Merry Christmas.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Merry Christmas.

[Jesse Waters]

Merry Christmas.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Thank you so much. So much.

[Jesse Waters]

Sweet.

[Jessica Tarlov]

So nice.

[Dana Perino]

Now Greg gets to go. Oh, all right. So number four. Three.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Well done.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Where's one? Ah, this is one. Oh, feels like clothes. Let's see. It's going to be something that has.

[Dana Perino]

A unicorn on it and got, like, clothes and you know, this was soap.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I remember.

[Jesse Waters]

Harold still has it.

[Harold Ford Jr]

No, I left it right there.

[Dana Perino]

It's right here. What's this?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, look at that. Oh, this is not my size. It's a little too big.

[Jesse Waters]

That's cute.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Daddy's mini. Mini, cute. Oh, these are cute. You might be able to fit Nose.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You might be able to.

[Dana Perino]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

These are great for lounging around at Larry Kudlow's place.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, there's some more.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ooh, more stuff. Is that it? All right. And what's this? Ah, this is for me.

[Jesse Waters]

There we go.

[Dana Perino]

Nice, Dad. I love that. That's sweet.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Isn't that nice? Still don't know who got me this.

[Dana Perino]

I feel like I know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, let's go to number two. Number two, My favorite number. Almost as fun as number.

[Dana Perino]

Ooh.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's amazing. A subscription to the Criterion Collection or the Criterion Channel. They're all really good movies. That eliminates Jesse. He has no idea. That's right. That's right.

[Dana Perino]

Wait, so what is that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's Criterion. Movies are, like, really eclectic, unusual films from.

[Dana Perino]

We know who this is from then.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. I think it's either Harold or Jessica.

[Dana Perino]

Okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Because Jessica has a movie background, but Harold has culture.

[Mike Emanuel]

He does.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think so.

[Jesse Waters]

Because he's black.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, because he's black.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Only took five minutes for Grace to come up on Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's kind of nice to see how they behave towards you, though. Like live.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ooh, a voice recording button. This sounds like something that I love. All right, here we go. Okay, so it's a little button.

[Jesse Waters]

That's good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, I'll do it closer to my mic. Where's my mic? My good friend and colleague, Britt Bear.

[Dana Perino]

Very good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm Bert Hume. I'm Britt Hume. As Molly has pointed out.

[Jesse Waters]

As Molly has pointed out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's Molly Hemingway.

[Jesse Waters]

That's good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

One more, one more. All right. I still haven't figured out who this is. No hints. What could this be? A popping A pooping elf.

[Dana Perino]

That's so cute. That's so you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Now I have two. Is this from you, Dana?

[Dana Perino]

It's not. I never heard a criterion.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So it's either one of you two? Harold?

[Dana Perino]

No, I think it's Jessica.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Thank you, Jessica. You're so sweet.

[Dana Perino]

Those were good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Did something come out of it? Oh, actual poop.

[Dana Perino]

Actual poop. Actual poop. Okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I hope not.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Actual poop.

[Dana Perino]

My turn. This feels like, you know, when you spot the clothes, I feel like this is book.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What?

[Dana Perino]

I feel like this is a book. Oh. Oh, it Is a book.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh.

[Dana Perino]

Selected Letters of John Updike. That's a very good book. Wait, that could be from Greg. I don't know. Let me see. I like that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow. That's good. You're never gonna read it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

No.

[Dana Perino]

You put this. No, you do. You pick up. Because they're letters. That's the nice thing, is that you can only. You could read like a couple and then move on.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Let me see.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's good. Coffee table number two.

[Dana Perino]

It is my favorite number.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Dear Jane, you left your negligee on the floor. I hate you, you stupid.

[Jesse Waters]

Whoa. Wow.

[Dana Perino]

That's gonna be. That's a better book.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Anger issue.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, that's fun. Purple state bookmark.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Dana Perino]

Wow, that's so nice.

[Jesse Waters]

This is taking on brand.

[Dana Perino]

Yeah, these are very.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Taking a nerdy turn from the poof.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, wow.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I think that.

[Jesse Waters]

Oh, that's nice.

[Dana Perino]

Dog mom. That's very cute.

[Jesse Waters]

That's nice.

[Dana Perino]

Is it a Greg or Harold?

[Jesse Waters]

You always need these canvas bags.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You can never have enough.

[Jesse Waters]

You always need.

[Dana Perino]

Is this from you, Harold?

[Harold Ford Jr]

I mean, we'll find out when you open the next one.

[Dana Perino]

That's it. There's three.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Oh, you open the third. That's from me.

[Dana Perino]

That's right.

[Mike Emanuel]

Thank you.

[Dana Perino]

Thank you so much. I love it. I could definitely. I definitely needed a new bag this morning, too.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's great color.

[Dana Perino]

Excellent.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I like the color lavender.

[Dana Perino]

I love it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Is that lilac or lavender?

[Dana Perino]

I think it's in the spectrum.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Is it the spectrum? We're all in the spectrum.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Be careful, Harold.

[Dana Perino]

Snacks. Thank you. Thank you.

[Harold Ford Jr]

The Updike book is fantastic. I mean, his whole life, the work, his personal life. I think he's one of the more.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is he a writer?

[Harold Ford Jr]

He is a writer. He was an engineer the first part of his life, and he became a writer. This is my first gift.

[Greg Gutfeld]

John Updike, you say?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Harold Ford Jr. New York City mayor. I don't know if we have a new marital.

[Dana Perino]

Great.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's awesome.

[Dana Perino]

29.

[Greg Gutfeld]

29. Love it. Wait. Show it to the audience. They gotta see it. Harold Ford, 29, New York City mayor.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You're very kind of.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Can you be president in 28 and then mayor in 29?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Oh, there's something else. What a Christmas morning. I know. This is exactly what people want to see on Christmas morning. Especially the mayor.

[Jesse Waters]

Especially the mayor's watching a green room journal.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You know how I like to take notes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I'm going to use this for our. That's.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Whenever I quote you in the green room. You could have. I could just Read it from your little quote book. Should have to write something in there every day.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You know what, Greg? I will do that as well as take notes on our. Oh, this journal belongs to Harold Ford Jr. In case I forget my name, I have it right there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, wow.

[Dana Perino]

It's printed and everything.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I had it in, like the customers.

[Dana Perino]

She's not supposed to be cute.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I knew it was him because I knew when you get an album, you know, the judge, if she's watching. She got me a record player two years ago.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's why I got you an album, because you got her. Finally got a record player. Yes, that's the avid brothers Mike Patton album. You know, it's one of those rare occasions where you might actually like the music that I listen to.

[Harold Ford Jr]

It's like, you know, all the music.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I listen to when I'm avid brothers who are Americana and Mike Patton used to be in Faith no more and Mr. Bungle. So it's a cross between the two. I recommend this to all viewers. It's an amazing record. You're gonna love it. You have a record player?

[Harold Ford Jr]

I do. I'm gonna listen to this as I watch your football today.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Thank you, brother.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Merry Christmas.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There's one more.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I got one more.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, to the right. Oh, you're gonna love this.

[Dana Perino]

Nope.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Oh, this one here. I can't even.

[Jesse Waters]

I hope this is a.

[Harold Ford Jr]

One to mug like this.

[Jesse Waters]

Oh, yes.

[Jessica Tarlov]

In my face.

[Jesse Waters]

In your face.

[Greg Gutfeld]

In my face.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I'm literally. I was. I was in Chicago a week ago, and I'm walk out the hotel and I'm looking down, almost dropped my phone. This guy just rolled by in a. In a pickup truck. Looked like he was working, put down his window, said, in your face, Harold. Eight o' clock in the morning. Thank you, brother. Love you.

[Jesse Waters]

Merry.

[Dana Perino]

In your face. All right, I guess.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jesse.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, Best for last. Jesse Waters.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay. Is this in any particular order? Okay.

[Dana Perino]

Well, yeah, apparently. Okay, what do we have here?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ooh, Bill O'Reilly book.

[Jesse Waters]

Jesus calling, Enjoying Peace in His Presence. It's leather bound, nice, easy to read, comfort size print. Does that mean I'm getting old?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Hold on.

[Dana Perino]

They're devotionals.

[Jesse Waters]

Aw, devotionals. This is so sweet.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What's a devotional, Jesse?

[Jesse Waters]

I don't know. What's menopause? Thank you. I'm gonna be reading a lot of Bible verses every single morning.

[Dana Perino]

A lot of people have this.

[Jesse Waters]

Is this next?

[Dana Perino]

Sure. Yep.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay.

[Dana Perino]

Okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Let's see.

[Dana Perino]

Oh.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Oh, it's a head cover. I love it.

[Jesse Waters]

47 head cover. Look at that. Look at that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You could also use it for your golf clubs.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I was gonna say. I was like, that's so small. For his head protection.

[Jesse Waters]

Jessica.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I wasn't even referring to that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jessica. Oh, I didn't even mean to do that either.

[Mike Emanuel]

Yup.

[Jesse Waters]

That's good.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Merry Christmas.

[Jesse Waters]

What are these? White jeans?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Real men wear American 34.

[Greg Gutfeld]

36 should be the opposite.

[Jesse Waters]

American eagle.

[Mike Emanuel]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

I have good jeans.

[Dana Perino]

You have good jeans.

[Jesse Waters]

I love these. Thank you.

[Dana Perino]

Size. You just.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Daniel, you must think I'm fat. I can't see.

[Greg Gutfeld]

34 is not fat.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's true.

[Dana Perino]

I got the size from Johnny.

[Jesse Waters]

34 is my waist. I'm not a 36.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Because you're shorter.

[Dana Perino]

38.

[Jesse Waters]

No, I'm a 32.

[Harold Ford Jr]

34.

[Jesse Waters]

32.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wait, no, you're not a 32.

[Jesse Waters]

Yes, I am. Wait, you think you don't know my dimensions?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, no. Here's the deal. First one is waist. The other one's inseam.

[Jesse Waters]

I'm 34 waist, and the length is 32.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really? Wear a little sense.

[Jesse Waters]

What are you.

[Dana Perino]

Wait.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Stand up because you wear stupid baggy.

[Jesse Waters]

Jeans like you're from the 90s. Just.

[Dana Perino]

Let's see it, boys.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The men.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I think they may be a little long for.

[Jesse Waters]

They're a little long. Thank you.

[Mike Emanuel]

I don't like.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It.

[Dana Perino]

Right there. All right, let's roll.

[Greg Gutfeld]

By the way.

[Dana Perino]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is. What's a splendid oak?

[Dana Perino]

Splendid oak.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Dana Perino]

Is that good?

[Greg Gutfeld]

That sounds like a romance novel.

[Dana Perino]

Well, this could be the next one. Purple State. And spun it out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Purple State. There's what. That has some sexual overtones.

[Dana Perino]

It does.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Did anybody point that out to you? Why her book is called Purple State.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah.

[Harold Ford Jr]

We covered race, sex and gender.

[Dana Perino]

I really don't get that one. Up next on our Christmas special, who made our Naughty and Nice list?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Foreign.

[Jessica Tarlov]

This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series, the Life of Jesus.

[Greg Gutfeld]

A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow [e-mail] or wherever you listen to podcasts. New Orleans.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Welcome back. And again, Merry Christmas. It's time now for our Naughty and Nice list. Who should get a lump of coal and who deserves an extra gift this year. So let's get started. Dp. Okay, so what's on that list of yours?

[Dana Perino]

On the naughty list? I had to really think about it and I came up. Remember this lady who took the ball from the kid at the baseball court?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yes.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah.

[Dana Perino]

Karen. She was A real Karen. Her name was Phillies Karen. And the thing is that she never apologized. So that's why she is on the permanent naughty list. And on my nice list, the volunteers that I met in Sierra Leone who volunteer on mercy ships, these are five nurses. They met in Colorado, in Denver. They're all traveling nurses. And one of them had the idea to come to mercy ships and they said, we'll all go together. So they were serving, I think eight to 12 weeks on the ship before they come back to America. So I think they are on the nice list.

[Harold Ford Jr]

They certainly deserve the nicest. And you deserve to be on the nicest suit for taking your Thanksgiving and doing it. So thank you for.

[Dana Perino]

Thank you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Sorry I couldn't come.

[Jesse Waters]

I was busy.

[Dana Perino]

Next year. Don't worry, we're going next year.

[Jesse Waters]

Greg and Sierra Leone, Ms. Tarloff, who.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm not welcome back there after that last.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah, that was an atrocity.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Ms. Tarloff, your. Your naughty and nice list. Who made it?

[Jessica Tarlov]

So on my naughty list, I have Bryan Coburger, who murdered those four, I.D. well, he's really bad. And was sentenced this year. Finally pled guilty after two years of maintaining his innocence. Bad boy. I loved what one of the victim's sister. Remember when she totally dressed him down and was like, you are nothing, and stared right at him.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Anyway, it was amazing.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah, I mean, moment. It's a little dark. I get Merry Christmas. And then my nice list. Mackenzie Scott, who gave $7 billion this year. Since 2020, she's given how much? 26 billion. More than 2700 gifts. Jeff Bezos, I wish you all the best, but you had a great wife.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Where did she give the money to?

[Jessica Tarlov]

All over the place.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Yeah, I'd look into that.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Why do you have to do that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, she's a billionaire's divorced wife. They never spend the money wisely. I mean, it's true. Prove me wrong, America.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I think I see Rudolph coming. Merry Christmas. Oh, my God. Should we. Mr. Gutfeld, we go to you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right. So the naughty list. This is so troubling to me. The Minnesota government, because I can't believe that Minnesota is an awful place. I know wonderful people from Minnesota. I really like the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Minneapolis, like she throws the hat in the air. But their government is terrible. It's not just the Somali Covid fraud. They got fraud all over the place.

[Harold Ford Jr]

They let.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The Minnesotans are not known for being nice people. And their government has just basically, to use a non holiday word, screwed them. My nice list. I Have to say the online outpouring when Scott Adams had revealed that he had, you know, a serious cancer. And I think he was surprised from his viewers. If you ever listen to Coffee with Scott, Scott Adams, you'll go like, oh, that sounds like Greg. It's because I listen to him every morning. And all the way up to the White House, Donald Trump called him twice to check on him. And it's because the reason why everybody cares is because he's had such an outsized influence on people with his just regular logic, common sense, persuasion. Every morning at 10am so that was Dilbert and Dilbert.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Also, he created Dilbert, but that's gonna be a smaller accomplishment. I think you like Dilber.

[Dana Perino]

I love Dilbert.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Dilbert's a big deal.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Dilbert was big for you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, actually, I wasn't much of a cartoon fan. You know, you said it helped you.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Realize there were people who not only thought like you, but connected on a higher plane. You talked about his comedy and that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Don'T put me on the spot. Yes, you're right.

[Dana Perino]

Just say yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Give him all his credit.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It's Christmas.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, Jesse.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Reverend Waters, who made your Naughty and Nice this past week.

[Jesse Waters]

Well, it's weird because Greg says every morning at 10am he listens to Nick Fuentes. That's what he said. I don't know.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Two virgins.

[Jesse Waters]

I don't know what to believe now. My naughty list is Gavin Newsom. And the nice list is Gayle King, who sat next to me on the flight and we had a lovely discussion. And she was so nice. She might lose her job over it. Don't touch a single hair on Gayle King's head. Bari Weiss. I love her. Not a great endorsement, though. So maybe I don't like her. Maybe whatever helps, Gail. That's what we want.

[Harold Ford Jr]

As they said in the great movie Merry New Year. So my naughty and nice list are two things. My naughty list is the College Football Playoff committee. I think you guys gotta not naughty. You just gotta get it better. You gotta get it right. I mean, they're teams. We're in this playoffs.

[Dana Perino]

Harold. They deserve to be ripped.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I just think why does not look. I want them to get it right. They're trying their hardest. They need to get it right. You gotta get the 12 best teams, not the 12 teams that you think should be in the playoffs. My nice list is the great Dolly Parton who continues to do great things in her life. And one of the more important things she does now is to ensure that every kid in the state of Tennessee gets literacy materials, gets books and is taught and is exposed to great writers and great writing. So love you. Thank you. God bless you and thank you for being you. Merry Christmas. Coming up, the most interesting facts about Christmas you will ever learn in our holiday Trivia Challenge.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't need my stocking filled with toys, but I don't need no gifts to bring me joy.

[Mike Emanuel]

I'm Mike Emanuel in Washington. Here are your Christmas Day headlines. ICE agents conducting an enforcement action shot at and wounded two people in Maryland on Christmas Eve. Police say the agents were approaching a white van when the vehicle attempted to run them over. That's when agents began firing. Turkey has detained well over 100 suspected members of the Islamic State who are allegedly planning attacks on Christmas and New Year's celebrations. The dozens of simultaneous raids happened today after the extremist organization called for violent action against non Muslims over the holidays. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky sounding positive about peace after meeting with Jared Kushner and presidential envoy Steve Witkoff. Zelensky said some new ideas on how to bring the real peace closer were discussed. US Markets were closed today. Normal trading hours resume tomorrow. I will see you live at 6 Eastern for special report.

[Jesse Waters]

Welcome Back to the 5. It's time for our Holiday Team Trivia Challenge. So we're going to be putting our knowledge to the test with some fun facts about the season. And instead of two teams, we're going with three kings. We've got the short Kings, Dana and Greg. And the no Kings, Harold and Jessica.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I thought it was tall kings, but no Kings is funny.

[Jesse Waters]

And the one true king I'm hosting.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, first of all, Price Jesse.

[Jesse Waters]

Sorry, guys. Just read it on the prompter. What was the most watched Christmas movie in the United States last year? Home Alone Christmas Vacation. I think they're talking Chevy Chase or Elf.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We write it and hold up.

[Dana Perino]

Okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, you just say no, you just do the letter. You just do the letter.

[Jesse Waters]

Hold up the letter.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Last year is the question.

[Jesse Waters]

The last year. Don't overthink this, Harold.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Okay. Don't know. I go with you. I go. He said don't overthink.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I want to be responsible for it.

[Jesse Waters]

I don't know.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I don't know. You should be. I don't watch it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I feel like it's classique.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Let's go.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Jesse Waters]

Just like the Democrats, the no Kings group is at each other's throats. A, wrong. B is the right answer. Christmas vacation.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I doubted you.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We were both wrong.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I doubted you I was gonna go with elf.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Is that National Lampoon Christmas vacation?

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's shocking.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I love that. I would have gone with elf.

[Jessica Tarlov]

He wanted to do elf.

[Jesse Waters]

That's a lot. All right, we're going on to the next question here. In what country is it traditional to eat KFC for Christmas dinner? So popular that reservations are often required. Japan, Germany or Israel.

[Dana Perino]

We get points for being first.

[Jesse Waters]

No, you guys are both correct.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Japan.

[Harold Ford Jr]

That was an easy one.

[Jesse Waters]

Kentucky for Christmas.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

I would have thought the Jews liked it. Who knows?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it's weird. No, they do Chinese food.

[Jesse Waters]

Chinese food. That's right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Japan. They love the fried chicken.

[Jesse Waters]

Not just in Japan. Which US President banned Christmas trees from the White House because he considered them a pagan symbol?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, that's great.

[Jesse Waters]

Andrew Jackson McKinley or Teddy Roosevelt?

[Mike Emanuel]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Wow. The Short Kings won again.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Nicely done.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Teddy Roosevelt then won.

[Dana Perino]

I learned that from a former colleague.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay, guys, Short Kings in the lead. Question number four. Before red, what color was Santa most commonly depicted wearing? Green, purple or blue?

[Dana Perino]

No idea. Yeah, probably. Probably.

[Jesse Waters]

Yeah, you guys are both right. It was green.

[Harold Ford Jr]

It's gotta be green. We gotta. Give me some points.

[Jesse Waters]

All right, you guys need to come back. All right, four to two. The twelve days of Christmas. Which gift number finally stops giving you birds and starts giving you people doing weird activities?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Which number does do that?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Which day?

[Dana Perino]

This is all you.

[Jesse Waters]

No kings.

[Harold Ford Jr]

That's my song.

[Jesse Waters]

Day eight.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Eight.

[Jesse Waters]

That was a good eight Maids of Milking. Greg, how did you not know that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, you know.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Is that not in your Bible?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm lactose intolerant and intolerant.

[Jesse Waters]

Which classic American Christmas movie was filmed during a heat wave even though it was set in winter? That's interesting.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I would think. Which one you want to go with? I'm going B.

[Mike Emanuel]

Both.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Correct.

[Greg Gutfeld]

B.

[Jesse Waters]

It's a Wonderful Life.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Harold Ford Jr]

We still lost.

[Jesse Waters]

You guys lost.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm going to have to give it to you. I 4. Man, I did not know.

[Jessica Tarlov]

The Teddy Roosevelt thing is crazy.

[Jesse Waters]

We're going to do the tiebreaker for. Make it two points. But we already won.

[Dana Perino]

Oh, of course.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's cuz he's black. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I'm not over there. Merry Christmas. A little DEI on a Merry Christmas.

[Jesse Waters]

Little DEI tiebreaker. Oregon is the leading producer of Christmas trees in the United States. How many Christmas trees does the state grow each year? Who's ever closest?

[Greg Gutfeld]

How many Christmas trees state of Oregon grow each year? All right, what have you go over?

[Jesse Waters]

Who's the closest? It doesn't matter. Over or under? Who's Ever closest. Write it down and show the crowd.

[Harold Ford Jr]

And number one, they grow more than any.

[Jesse Waters]

More than any other state.

[Dana Perino]

More than any other state.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm going to go with.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I don't know.

[Dana Perino]

That's. I would be shocked.

[Harold Ford Jr]

But more.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's too high.

[Dana Perino]

But hey, like, let's go.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, how many?

[Mike Emanuel]

Show it.

[Jesse Waters]

Show your work.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Prices. Right. Rules.

[Jesse Waters]

No, it's just whoever.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah, Believe it.

[Jesse Waters]

Greg. Almost nailed it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What was it?

[Jesse Waters]

4.8 million?

[Harold Ford Jr]

8 million. 5 million.

[Jesse Waters]

Good for you, Greg.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm good with, like, estimate.

[Jesse Waters]

Know that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm just good with estimating numbers.

[Dana Perino]

You know, that's how big of the United States.

[Harold Ford Jr]

How many people?

[Dana Perino]

How many?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, I started with the population. And then who celebrates Christmas divided by the number of states? And I got 5 million short kings.

[Jesse Waters]

Congratulations. No kings. Better luck.

[Harold Ford Jr]

What Christmas tree did you buy from Morgan this year?

[Jesse Waters]

I.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, I have a Christmas tree in every room. That's like 30.

[Jesse Waters]

Okay. Okay, Geraldo. More of our five Christmas specials. Up next.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Claus Right down Santa Claus lane Fixing and blitzing and all his reindeer. Let it snow, let it snow, let.

[Jessica Tarlov]

It snow Million like. Welcome back. Time for a Christmas edition of the fastest. First up, Christmas is a time for family and fighting. New research says more than half of Americans admit they bail early from family holiday gatherings. Dana, I trust you on this. The Irish exit from a family event. Is that legal?

[Dana Perino]

It just wouldn't work for me because my family lives in Wyoming.

[Jessica Tarlov]

So you can't get away.

[Dana Perino]

So where are you going? There's nowhere to go. No, you're stuck. And I don't want to leave there early. Not family gatherings. I did pull off an amazing Irish exit this holiday season that I am so proud of. Laurence Jones was my partner in crime. We did it so well, so perfectly. We said hello, we said goodbye, and then we were out and nobody noticed.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was at the Make a Wish Foundation.

[Dana Perino]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was nice to meet.

[Dana Perino]

We just wanted to get out of there.

[Jessica Tarlov]

We did it at Toys for Tots.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Greg, how do you behave at family gathering?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, you know, I dug deep into this and they said, people. The conclusion from this study, and I'm reading this verbatim, people would enjoy this season more if guests stayed somewhere else entirely. Who sponsored the survey?

[Mike Emanuel]

Hilton.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Some other holiday findings. Plastic Christmas trees. Artificial Christmas trees cause cancer. That's according to the Pine Tree Board. And the National Ribbon association found that 95% of people prefer two bows on their presence instead of one.

[Jesse Waters]

It's like when CNN Does a poll that says Trump's doing poorly.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, it's from cnn. Yes, the Hilton. It's a hotel survey. They're telling you not to stay with your family. It's all connected.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Greg is undefeated in preparing for the fastest. I respect no one ever. Well, you had the same thing. You always had the fastest, and I never.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's like you get all you have to do.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I feel like you never leave early inappropriately.

[Harold Ford Jr]

No, no, I don't leave appropriately or inappropriately. I love. I'm the last to leave because normally I'm hosting or. So I enjoy.

[Dana Perino]

You can't leave.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I can't leave nowhere to run. So I love. And I normally have more people come over afterwards. So it's a. I love the. I love family holiday gatherings.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know what's great is when you should just get up and leave. When you're the host, go, hey, it's great. I'll see you guys later. And then you leave.

[Jessica Tarlov]

My dad used to, like, go back to his bedroom. He's like, I want to go watch tv. Like, you guys do whatever you're gonna do.

[Jesse Waters]

You think he was watching tv? Back to the bedroom. I've used that excuse. Tom Freston, who ran MTV and Viacom, he had a great piece of advice. He said, when you fire someone, you do it in their office. So you go into their office, and then you say, you're fired, and then you just leave whenever you want. Because if you invite someone to come into your office and you fire them, they're just gonna stare at you, yell at you.

[Harold Ford Jr]

This is Christmas. Right, I understand.

[Jesse Waters]

So what I'm saying is that's why you don't host. You go to someone else's house, and then you can leave whenever you want. See, I'm always.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, you can also clog their toilet.

[Jesse Waters]

That's why you're never coming over.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Is that how that happened?

[Jessica Tarlov]

How early is too early to put up the tree? Katherine Schwarzenegger and her husband Chris Pratt start Christmas the day after Halloween. Watch this.

[Dana Perino]

Yes. It was an agreement that my husband and I had prior to getting married was Christmas lights and Christmas music start November 1st. And my daughter Eloise recently said to me, mommy, it goes Halloween and then right into Christmas, right?

[Jessica Tarlov]

And I said, absolutely.

[Dana Perino]

That's my child right there. She gets it.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Whereas, I guess Thanksgiving doesn't have decorations but a few.

[Dana Perino]

I mean, if you like yard art, you can do Thanksgiving. You got a little pumpkin situation. I have friends, Matt and Liz Whitlock. They are on the day after Halloween, Christmas decoration. And they have a very, very happy family. So maybe there's something to it. All right, I'm not on that train.

[Harold Ford Jr]

I put Christmas lights up probably about a week after Halloween, week or two after. I try to do it two weeks before Thanksgiving. It brings everybody smiles. My kids are young, so they love it. And we get right into it for, you know, six. I leave my lights up until daylight.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Save until Black History Month.

[Harold Ford Jr]

The end of Black History Month.

[Jesse Waters]

People think I'm ignorant. They think I'm closed minded. They don't think I listen. But I used to think that when people started decorating for Christmas early, they were kind of cheating Thanksgiving. But then I talked to some people that said that they love Christmas so much they just can't be contained. And that's. Now I've changed my position. If you want to decorate and get ready for Christmas in July, go at it. I won't change my mind on the border, but that I'm open minded.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Still waiting for my brick from the border. Greg, where are you on.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think you guys are missing the whole point of this story. Any agreement before marriage is invalid because you'll agree to anything. It's like, I mean, think of the things I agreed to before marriage, like breaking up with my ex. So, you know, it's like he said, yeah, sure, babe, I'll do this, this. But you don't have to do it now. You're in.

[Jesse Waters]

Oh, man. Wrote that down too.

[Jessica Tarlov]

He always prepares for the fastest. Okay, up next, we are answering your Christmas questions.

[Dana Perino]

I really can't stop.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Baby, it's cold outside I've got to go out Baby, it's cold outside this evening has. You can run that away. Merry Christmas, everyone. We're answering your question. The first question from Joseph S. Joseph, what gift did you think a family member would love? Then found out they returned it, or hated it for that matter. What about you, Dana?

[Dana Perino]

Well, it wasn't a Christmas gift and she didn't return it, but she never used it. So when my sister turned 40, I flew out to Denver and we went to a nice steak restaurant. I was like, let me host, you know, a nice dinner for you. And I remember that the woman before her had given her these like a headband type thing. And my sister's like, oh my God, I love it. It's so great. It's such great. Okay? And I was like, every woman should have a really nice leather goods, right? And so she's turning 40 and I got her a nice Louis Vuitton bag.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Like A little purse.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right.

[Dana Perino]

My sister didn't even know what it was. And my sister opens. She goes, oh, thank you. Now, all of her friends were like, wow, that's so nice. Do you know, like, to this day, she's never used it. It's brand new, in case you want to sell it on ebay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Maybe it's because you keep Telling everybody she's 40. Jesse.

[Jesse Waters]

One Christmas, I thought this was a good idea.

[Harold Ford Jr]

It wasn't.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, dear.

[Jesse Waters]

Under the tree, I gave Emma, and I wrapped it a vacuum cleaner.

[Dana Perino]

You didn't.

[Jesse Waters]

And I thought it was, like, kind of like, you know, because Alice was getting a little, you know, and so she didn't take it well. And it was a bad Christmas. Didn't go well for me. Later, not a fine evening.

[Harold Ford Jr]

You recovered, but wow, that was a.

[Jesse Waters]

Obviously, I didn't do that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Jesse Waters]

Oh, it's like the era that's gonna hold slasher tires. I did not give her a vacuum.

[Jessica Tarlov]

There are, like, some cool.

[Jesse Waters]

My gifts go over very well. I just never have given a bad gift.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jessica, gift giver to Emma, actually.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Jesse gives great gifts.

[Dana Perino]

It's okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm asking you.

[Jessica Tarlov]

I was just trying to be nice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Look, just answer the damn question.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Okay, so.

[Jesse Waters]

See how hostile it is?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Merry Christmas, everyone.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Yeah, it's crazy, right?

[Harold Ford Jr]

It's Christmas morning here.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Brian is impossible to get gifts for. He's liked one gift ever, and it's from a woman that he's no longer with, to the best of my knowledge. And so the first year that we were together, I got him this, like, really cool suede bomber jacket. Or I thought that it was. It was like the Springsteen version of it. And he was like. I don't know how to tell this. We didn't really know each other that well. Hated it. I was like, just return it. It's too expensive to keep it. And I basically have just taken him into a store and been like, here is my credit card. You do whatever you want.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's such a dork. Jacket. Oh, God. What are you thinking?

[Dana Perino]

Suede bomber jacket.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah. I would have dumped you in a hot second.

[Jessica Tarlov]

That's pretty sure. I was, like, already pregnant, but whatever.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Harold.

[Harold Ford Jr]

A loved one whose name will go, not not. They'll know who they are. Spend a little time trying to buy the skip. I get it. They say they love it. And then two days, a week later, a week and a half later, I see the other color if they told me they loved it. And then separately, I got a bigger size for someone than I should have gotten. And I didn't go bigger.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Size is hard.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

You always go smaller.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Thought I did better to make him feel depressed than angry. I once got a Christmas suggestion from Ms. Kimberly Guilfoyle. You might remember her from the Five. I didn't know what to do for Elena, and she said, just go on Amazon, order a bunch of expensive shoes. Do you remember this?

[Jessica Tarlov]

Wait, what?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Dana Perino]

It was Amazon.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. But you can get all these shoes.

[Dana Perino]

I remember that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. And so I ordered Amazon, like, 12 pairs of shoes, and they all came. And then that I figured, I can't go wrong with, like, she's gonna. Like one of them is gonna hit. She returned all 12.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Women.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Women. Am I right?

[Harold Ford Jr]

Huh?

[Dana Perino]

You're right.

[Mike Emanuel]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What was your favorite Christmas gift when you were a child, Harold?

[Harold Ford Jr]

I was a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan as a kid. I grew up in Memphis and we didn't have a football team. Professional football team. I love Terry Brad's show. I love Lynn Swan and Franco Harris. I got a Pittsburgh Steelers bike.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Nice.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Never Forget, I was 7 years old, and if anyone's out there looking for a gift from me, I'd love a grown up version of that bike. If you can find one.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Jessica.

[Jessica Tarlov]

All the My Little Ponies. Like, I loved the My Little Pony show. And then I got, like, all of them. So that was great. And Barbie's also went over super well.

[Jesse Waters]

When I was young, I got a bike.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Gender specific. Jesse.

[Jesse Waters]

I got a bike, too.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Then someone stole it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jesse Waters]

Not gonna say the race person. Not gonna say the race. It's immaterial.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Yes.

[Jesse Waters]

And then I was driving around with my dad one time, and I saw the kid on my bike, and I was like, what do I do? I mean, we didn't pull over and steal the back.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Did you ever think maybe he got the same bike for Christmas?

[Jesse Waters]

No. Because I had a special break on it that was white. It was like a white brake.

[Harold Ford Jr]

It was a wet brake.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was a white break.

[Jesse Waters]

The color was white. Whites don't have special breaks.

[Dana Perino]

I get all the breaks.

[Greg Gutfeld]

We don't get any breaks. We don't get any breaks. Jesse.

[Dana Perino]

The gift that came to mind was a boombox, I guess you would call it, but it had the double cassette. Oh, mixtapes.

[Jesse Waters]

That was the best.

[Dana Perino]

Yeah, those were great.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, I remember that. You know, I got a Schwinn, which I liked. I got a 49er jacket. But I gotta say, the thing that I got the most value out was this book called the Book of Lists. My parents got it. It was like, it must have weighed like 30 pounds. And it was just nothing but lists. Nothing but lists.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Any list of her today?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I learned about stuff I should not have learned about. There was a who section on sex and I was like nine when I got. And I just like there was stuff in there that was like, what the hell that's going on?

[Jesse Waters]

It was the Epstein list.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was the Epstein list. Up next, more Christmas bliss you won't want to miss. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a.

[Jesse Waters]

Very happy half off holiday.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50 off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

[Jessica Tarlov]

So that means a half day.

[Harold Ford Jr]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch up front.

[Jessica Tarlov]

Payment of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month. Required new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speed slow. 135 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. Cmnobile.com.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All I want for Christmas is a real good taste.

[Dana Perino]

Well everyone that is going to do it for us on this Christmas day. Thank you for watching. We will be back here tomorrow everyone. Merry Christmas.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Merry Christmas everyone.

[Dana Perino]

Have a great night.

[Greg Gutfeld]

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