Podcast Summary: The Five

Episode Title: Trump To The Rescue
Date: March 27, 2026
Host & Panel: Sandra Smith, Jesse Watters, Greg Gutfeld, Kennedy, Juan Williams, Joey Jones
Special Guests: Jim Gray (sportscaster), Alexis McAdams (FOX reporter)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Five takes on a packed news day, tackling breaking developments around the DHS shutdown, President Trump’s intervention to pay TSA agents, the political squabble over border funding, Tiger Woods’ latest DUI arrest, reactions to public anti-troop sentiments, celebrity controversies, and a late-breaking segment on Jimmy Kimmel’s jab at “blue collar” officials. True to form, the hosts combine straight reporting, pointed debate, and humor as they parse through the day’s headlines.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. DHS Shutdown, TSA Crisis & Trump’s Intervention

[00:30–06:28]

• Sandra Smith opens with a FOX News alert: President Trump signs a directive to pay TSA agents after a long delay triggered by a DHS funding impasse — a result of Congressional battles over border security and ICE funding.
• Greg Gutfeld, Jesse Watters & Panel:
  • Strong criticism of Democrats for stalling: "The Republicans are not going to be any part of any effort to reopen our borders or to stop immigration enforcement." (Jesse Watters, 01:42)
  • Trump portrayed as stepping up where Congress falters, with Republicans unified in rejecting a DHS bill lacking ICE/Border Patrol funding.
  • Banter comparing federal agencies to interchangeable sports teams — the tongue-in-cheek notion of "subbing in" ICE when TSA falters, or IRS for FEMA.
  • Jesse Watters lampoons billionaire inaction: "Not a single billionaire stepped up and said, I'll cut a check... Why hasn't anybody done that? Why has not? I'm looking at you, Bezos." (05:02)
• Kennedy sums up voter frustration: "No one looks good here and no one cares. This is just part of the dysfunction in Washington... All people care about is how long is my wait going to be when I fly." (05:49)

2. BREAKING: Tiger Woods Arrested for DUI (Coverage begins)

[06:28–23:13 and 52:00]

Initial Reporting & Press Conference

• Alexis McAdams breaks down incident details:
  • Tiger Woods involved in a rollover crash in a residential area. No injuries reported, but he’s arrested for DUI.
  • Notably, Woods refused a urine test; breathalyzer registered zero, so suspicion falls on narcotics or prescription drug impairment.

Panel Reaction: Celebrity Substance Abuse & Accountability

• Hosts express both condemnation and sympathy.
  • Greg Gutfeld: "It's incredibly selfish behavior whenever there's a DUI. Driving drunk means that you wanted to get somewhere and you did it even though you were impaired. And he's really lucky there was no one there." (09:04)
  • Jesse Watters: Acknowledges Woods’ stardom and history: "[He] did change the game of golf. When something happens to him, people pay attention...this guy has a serious substance abuse problem." (09:42)
  • Juan Williams stresses need for accountability: "There needs to be consequence, not because I have it out for Tiger Woods, but because I care about everyone else on that street." (11:01)
  • Kennedy considers the role of painkillers and enablers, referencing possible impact of President Trump stating Woods wouldn’t compete at the Masters: "You never know what leads to something like this. All we know is this is not the first time, and it is a pattern." (11:59)
• Jim Gray (sportscaster) Joins:
  • Details Woods’ long history of injuries, surgeries, and attempted comebacks; underscores how pain management may factor into repeated incidents.
  • On league education/support for athletes: "I believe the leagues try very, very hard...But these guys are very competitive...they want to get back out on the field..." (16:58)
  • Kennedy inquires about Woods’ latest comeback status. Gray details Tiger’s struggles, indicating he can hit but cannot handle the travel and walking demands of major golf tournaments. (18:08)

Deeper Questions: Celebrity Justice vs. Public Responsibility

• Gutfeld: Challenges why celebrities, especially athletes, get drawn-out sympathetic narratives after arrest: "We don't...go forever talking about this how boo hoo hoo, the guy rolled a car. He's not the victim here." (20:08)
• Jim Gray: Notes that Woods, as a global superstar, attracts unique coverage and fascination: "He has captured the imagination of the world." (21:11)
• Panel explores the possible precedent and broader implications for celebrity accountability and media focus on famous figures' missteps.

3. US Troops, Anti-War Protests & Hollywood Backlash

[24:03–31:39]

• Juan Williams reacts with outrage to pro-Iran sentiments at US rallies, highlighting social media attacks on actress Sydney Sweeney for her support of US troops (her brother included).
• Kennedy: "It just goes to show...leftist Hollywood...will do anything to bring down someone they see as the enemy...shame on them." (25:25)
• The panel explicitly links anti-war protest rhetoric today to the Vietnam War era, with shared concerns about loss of respect for service.
• Greg Gutfeld: Sarcastically notes, "their side is ugly and our side is hot as hell...You have to admire her body of work, and it shows you how much—stop it, I said body of work." (30:01)
  • Also: "You only need a small number of people to have a large impact...Revolutions weren’t done by the majority. They’re done by the minority. And how many hijackers were there on 9/11?" (31:16)
• Hosts call for more public support for deployed troops and critique those who encourage anti-military or defeatist sentiment.

4. Jimmy Kimmel "Plumber Joke" Controversy

[32:48–38:25]

• Background: Late night host Jimmy Kimmel jokes about not wanting a plumber as DHS Secretary, throws AOC’s bartending background into the mix.
• Greg Gutfeld: Defends the joke (somewhat), but notes, "A plumber is a comical occupation...we do realize that a good plumber is way more valuable than a decent talk show host. I offer nothing to society. A plumber can like save your house." (34:20)
• Sandra Smith & Kennedy: Highlight the persistent blue-collar/professional divide in media and politics; praise Markwayne Mullin (the subject of the joke) for building a successful plumbing business.
• Kennedy: "It takes 2,000 hours to become a journey plumber...You can be a bartender by stumbling into a bar and say, 'I can make simple syrup,' which is probably what AOC did." (37:40)
• Subtext: The panel underscores the value of trades and calls out media/political elitism.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jesse Watters:
  • "If the politicians screw up, you should be able to bring someone and throw them in the game...If FEMA's strapped, why not call up some IRS agents and hand them a mop?" [03:41]
• Greg Gutfeld:
  • "It's not even funny. I don't know. Funny is subjective. It doesn't have to be funny." [35:26]
• Alexis McAdams:
  • "Tiger Woods is behind bars...They said they're going to hold him for at least eight hours, which is what they do in this county." [06:43]
• Jim Gray:
  • "He's a national treasure and an international icon, and to see this happen, again, really his third crash...there's some sort of a pattern here." [13:43]
• Kennedy:
  • "No one looks good here and no one cares. This is just part of the dysfunction in Washington." [05:49]

Important Timestamps

• 00:30: Introduction — DHS shutdown, Trump orders TSA workers paid
• 01:37–02:29: GOP leaders unify against "open borders bill"
• 05:02: Jesse Watters laments billionaire inaction during shutdown
• 06:28: Breaking: Tiger Woods DUI coverage begins
• 09:04: Gutfeld/Panel reaction: drunk driving & celebrity culture
• 11:01–11:59: Discussion on celebrity consequences, painkillers, and enablers
• 13:43–18:08: Jim Gray sports analysis: Woods’ injuries, addiction, and comeback
• 20:08–21:16: Gutfeld critiques celebrity "victimization" narratives
• 24:03: Operation Epic Fury updates; anti-troop protest outrage
• 25:25: Kennedy: defending Sydney Sweeney's support for the military
• 30:01: Gutfeld: culture war, "body of work"
• 32:48: Jimmy Kimmel's "plumber" joke controversy
• 34:20: Gutfeld: "A plumber is a comical occupation...A plumber can like save your house."
• 37:40: Kennedy: value of trades v. traditional education
• 39:26–42:44: Light-hearted Fan Mail Friday — habits, high school memories

Tone & Style

• Direct, energetic, irreverent: Hosts blend (sometimes biting) satire with real-time news, ensuring commentary remains both pointed and humorous.
• Camaraderie and Humor: Personal stories and light ridicule interspersed with serious commentary.
• Unfiltered, populist: Hosts frequently rail against perceived elitism, emphasizing “common sense” and traditional values.

Summary for the Uninitiated

On this episode, The Five navigated a whirlwind news day—beginning with the gridlock over DHS funding and Trump's intervention to pay TSA agents, then pivoting to coverage and analysis of Tiger Woods’ new DUI arrest and what it reveals about celebrity culture and accountability in America. The panel fiercely defends the dignity of blue-collar workers amid Hollywood jabs, calling out growing disdain and elitism toward tradespeople. The topic of US troops and the backlash against pro-military sentiment stirs particularly passionate, personal debate.

Between the barbs, this is a panel convinced that political dysfunction hurts everyday Americans, and that both the media and celebrities play an outsized role in shaping—and often distorting—public perceptions on responsibility, patriotism, and plain decency.