"Can I Go to the Wedding?" Answered

The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast

Published: Thu Feb 27 2025

If you're Catholic, you're probably aware that not every wedding is the same in the eyes of the Church. You may have heard of situations—or been in ones yourself—where you're not sure if it's okay for you, as a practicing Catholic, to attend such a wedding. How do you know when it's okay and when it's not okay? Fr. Mike not only gives us a couple of guiding principles but also breaks down most of the situations you might find yourself in and tells us what Jesus and his Church asks of us.

Summary

Summary of "Can I Go to the Wedding?" Answered – The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast

Released on February 27, 2025, "Can I Go to the Wedding?" Answered is an insightful episode of The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast, hosted by Ascension. In this episode, Fr. Mike delves into the nuanced question of whether practicing Catholics should attend weddings that may conflict with their faith. Drawing from the wisdom of Father Rocky Hoffman and grounded in Catholic teachings, Fr. Mike offers comprehensive guidance for listeners navigating this common dilemma.

Introduction

Fr. Mike Schmitz opens the episode by addressing a heartfelt question from a practicing Catholic: "Can I go to the wedding of someone who may not share my beliefs?" [00:00] He introduces Father Rocky Hoffman's response, highlighting its clarity and practical application for such situations.

Father Rocky Hoffman's Core Principles

Fr. Mike outlines the foundational answers provided by Father Rocky Hoffmann:

You Never Have to Attend a Wedding: This emphasis on personal freedom underscores that attendance is not an obligation.
Can You Attend? Yes, If It's a Real Marriage: The legitimacy of the marriage itself permits attendance, provided it aligns with Catholic sacramental laws.

Navigating Emotional and Relational Concerns

Fr. Mike empathizes with the emotional weight Catholics may feel when deciding whether to attend a wedding that conflicts with their faith. He addresses fears such as:

Emotional Burden: Worries about the pain of attending versus the pain of not attending.
Risk to Relationships: Concerns that choosing not to attend might strain or sever important relationships, such as those with siblings, children, or close friends.

Fr. Mike reassures listeners by emphasizing that genuine relationships transcend single events. He states, "If someone wants to have a relationship with you, that relationship is bigger than one day." [04:35]

Scenarios for Catholic Wedding Attendance

Fr. Mike systematically explores various scenarios to provide clear guidance:

1. Catholic Wedding in a Catholic Church

Guidance: Yes, Attending is Permissible.
Rationale: Such weddings are inherently valid sacramental unions within the Church.

2. Catholic Wedding in a Non-Catholic Setting

Guidance: Yes, If Authorized by the Bishop.
Details:
- With Bishop's Dispensation: If the couple has received permission from their local bishop, the wedding is considered valid, and Catholics may attend [10:15].
- Non-Catholic Couples: Catholics may attend weddings of non-Catholic couples, such as Lutheran or Methodist marriages performed on the beach, provided they abstain from receiving communion [12:45].

3. Non-Canonical Wedding of Catholic Individuals

Definition: A marriage between Catholics conducted outside the Church without necessary dispensation.
Guidance: Attend with Reservations.
Considerations:
- Nominal Catholicism: If the couple is nominally Catholic but does not practice the faith, their marriage lacks sacramental validity.
- Potential for Remediation: Encourages the couple to seek annulment or proper dispensation, allowing the wedding to be blessed officially [18:30].
- Attend Without Condemnation: Catholics may choose to attend, understanding the wedding's provisional nature [21:10].

4. Remarriage of a Divorced Person Without an Annulment

Guidance: Generally, Do Not Attend.
Rationale: According to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19, remarriage without an annulment constitutes adultery "If someone divorces their spouse and marries another, they're committing adultery." [25:50]
Exceptions:
- Double Effect Principle: Some priests, like Father Rocky, may offer nuanced approaches for specific cases, encouraging listeners to consult resources like Father Rocky’s articles on Simply Catholic [29:15].

5. Attempted Marriage of Two Individuals of the Same Sex

Guidance: Do Not Attend.
Rationale: Such marriages contravene both canon and natural law, leaving no room for remission or acceptance within Catholic doctrine [34:20].

Discipleship and Prioritizing Faith Over Relationships

Fr. Mike transitions to a profound reflection on discipleship, citing Jesus’ teaching from Luke 12: "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." [40:00] He explains that following Christ may necessitate difficult choices, including prioritizing faith over familial or social ties.

Biblical Reference: Jesus emphasizes the need for disciples to choose Him over all other relationships, even family (Matthew 10:37).
Practical Implications: Catholics may need to evaluate their attendance at certain weddings as a testament to their commitment to Christ, understanding that such decisions can lead to divisions but ultimately uphold their faith [43:50].

Conclusion

Fr. Mike Schmitz concludes the episode by reinforcing the importance of aligning one's actions with Christ’s teachings. He encourages listeners to deny themselves, pick up their cross, and follow Jesus, even when it leads to challenging decisions like attending or abstaining from certain weddings [50:00].

He reiterates the guidance provided by Father Rocky Hoffman and urges listeners to seek further wisdom through resources like Simply Catholic. Fr. Mike closes with a heartfelt blessing, reminding Catholics of their calling to live authentically in their faith [54:10].

Notable Quotes:

"If someone wants to have a relationship with you, that relationship is bigger than one day." – Fr. Mike Schmitz [04:35]
"If someone divorces their spouse and marries another, they're committing adultery." – Referring to Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19 [25:50]
"I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." – Jesus, Luke 12 [40:00]
"If you love father or mother more than me, you cannot be my disciple." – Fr. Mike Schmitz [47:30]

Key Takeaways:

Assess the Validity of the Marriage: Understanding whether the wedding aligns with Catholic doctrine is crucial in deciding attendance.
Prioritize Relationships with Faith: Genuine relationships should respect mutual faith commitments without compromising core beliefs.
Seek Guidance and Remediation: Encourage couples in non-canonical marriages to seek proper sacramental recognition through the Church.
Discipleship Requires Difficult Choices: Following Christ may necessitate tough decisions that prioritize faith over personal or familial desires.

This episode serves as a valuable resource for Catholics seeking clarity on attending weddings that may challenge their faith, offering a balanced perspective grounded in theology and pastoral care.