Fr. Mike Reacts to His First Video Ever

Summary

Podcast Summary: Fr. Mike Reacts to His First Video Ever

The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast | Ascension
Episode Date: August 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this special 10-year anniversary episode, Fr. Mike Schmitz celebrates a decade of "Ascension Presents" by watching and reacting to his very first video, titled "Bromance, pizza, and your mom." The episode blends humorous self-reflection with rich theological discussion, as Fr. Mike evaluates his early video style and delves into C.S. Lewis’s "Four Loves," exploring how our culture understands love, friendship, and faith.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reacting to the First-Ever Video (00:00–01:40)

• Fr. Mike humorously comments on the logistics of finding and viewing his first video, highlighting the sheer number of episodes he's made.
• He jokes about the original video title's lack of an Oxford comma:

  "If I would have been in charge of the title, I would have put a comma after pizza because I just. That's how. I mean, I know English." (00:23)

2. Self-Awareness & Early Filming Struggles (01:06–02:05)

• Fr. Mike acknowledges the slow pace and background noise in his early recording, poking fun at himself:

  "Oh, my goodness. A, I do not like listening to the sound of my own voice. B, I do not like listening to how slowly I'm speaking. This is driving me crazy." (01:45)

3. The Problem with the Term "Bromance" (02:07–03:23)

• Fr. Mike’s younger self suggests that "bromance" reflects a cultural misunderstanding of love, reducing every intimate relationship to romance or sexual connotation.
• Modern commentary recognizes Bobby Angel as the source of the original comment and reiterates the main issue:

  "I really dislike that term bromance…because I think the term bromance reveals something about our culture. We look at everything. Every single significant relationship or every significant love…through the lens of romance." (02:25)

4. C.S. Lewis’ Four Loves Explored (03:23–04:43)

• Fr. Mike outlines Lewis's categories:
  • Eros: Romantic/desirous love
  • Storge: Affection (e.g., familial or comfort love)
  • Philia: Deep friendship
  • Agape: Self-sacrificing, divine love
• He applies these concepts to contemporary culture:

  "That idea of reducing this huge thing called love to this not as huge thing called romance or this not as huge thing called Eros, it just. I find it a little bit annoying. And here's why." (02:52)

• Fr. Mike's live commentary:

  "I like where he's going with this. I speak of him in the third person because that was me 10 years ago." (03:23)

5. Friendship (Philia) and Possessiveness (05:27–06:37)

• True friendship (philia) is rare and distinct from romantic, familial, or possessive love.
• Fr. Mike discusses how healthy friendship is non-possessive:

  "Possessiveness and friendship. Poison, basically, it's poison to friendship. It's poison to Philia." (06:05)

6. Shared Pursuit as the Basis of Friendship (06:37–07:41)

• Drawing from Lewis, Fr. Mike highlights a core trait of genuine friendship:

  "CS Lewis described it in his book The Four Loves, and he says Philia does not involve two people looking at each other. Philia typically involves two people standing side by side, pursuing the same goal." (07:01)

• Illustration via pop culture:

  "This is the reason why that we can't watch Lord of the Rings and see Frodo and Sam be really, really close and not think, oh. Is there something going on there? No, it's called Philia." (07:27)

7. Marriage, Friendship, and Higher Forms of Love (07:41–08:41)

• Fr. Mike notes that deep marital love often incorporates friendship:

  "Eros is good and it is good. But there's something even more pure and often richer than Eros, and that's Philia." (08:16)

• He then moves to agape as the fullest expression of love, exemplified in Christ.

8. How to Pursue and Cultivate True Friendship (08:41–10:44)

• Practical advice:
  • Pray for God to send true friends.
  • Take initiative: “Be a friend.”
• Fr. Mike urges listeners to get outside themselves and pursue meaningful goals, opening pathways to shared purpose and real friendship:

  "Find something passionate, something that you want to pursue with everything you have and then pursue him. Jesus. And you'll find sooner or later there's someone who is racing alongside you." (10:31–10:44)

• Empathy towards the lonely and encouragement to reach out:

  "There are people around us who just if we gave them a little bit of our eyeball time, a little bit of our heart, a little bit of our attention and affection, make all the difference for them." (10:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Early Video Nerves:

  "I don't know how this is going to go. It's going to go how it goes. You know, that's how it always goes." (00:01)

• Fr. Mike’s Critique of Himself:

  "Nice beard. Nice. Well, also, hi, my name is Father." (01:32)
  "I do not like listening to the sound of my own voice." (01:45)

• Why "Bromance" Misses the Mark:

  "I really dislike that term bromance…because I think the term bromance reveals something about our culture." (02:25)

• On Friendship vs. Romance:

  "True friendship…there can't be possessiveness…it's poison to Philia." (06:05)

• On Friendship in Popular Culture:

  "We can't watch Lord of the Rings and see Frodo and Sam be really, really close and not think, oh. Is there something going on there? No, it's called Philia." (07:27)

• On Building Friendship:

  "Pray for a friend. Be a friend. Find something passionate, something that you want to pursue with everything you have and then pursue him. Jesus. And you'll find sooner or later there's someone who is racing alongside you." (10:31–10:44)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Introduction & 10th anniversary context | | 01:06 | Self-critique on video style and voice | | 02:25 | The term "bromance" and our culture's misunderstanding of love | | 03:23 | C.S. Lewis "Four Loves" overview | | 06:05 | The importance of non-possessiveness in friendship | | 07:01 | Friendship as "side by side" pursuit | | 07:27 | Bromance, LOTR, and rethinking close male friendships| | 08:16 | Marriage, friendship, and agape | | 09:03 | Prayer and initiative in cultivating friendship | | 10:31 | Be a friend, pursue something meaningful, find Jesus |

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Tone & Language

True to Fr. Mike’s style, the episode is warm, lighthearted, and deeply insightful. He pokes fun at his younger self’s delivery, intertwines personal anecdotes, and grounds his reflections in theology and literature. The conversational pace makes complex topics on love and relationships both accessible and practical for listeners of all backgrounds.

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Final Thoughts

Fr. Mike uses the milestone of his first video to spark a powerful discussion on the nature of love and friendship, blending humility, humor, and wisdom. Listeners are left with both theological clarity and practical encouragement to seek, build, and cherish authentic friendships grounded in shared goals and faith.

Transcript

[A]

I don't know how this is going to go. It's going to go how it goes. You know, that's how it always goes. Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz and this is Ascension Presents. In fact, it's not just Ascension Presents. It is Ascension presents 10 year anniversary. And because of that, some of the producers, they said, hey, it would be a great idea if you went back and watched your first ever Ascension Presents video. And I thought, great idea. So they sent me a link because I'm like, I don't know which one that was. It was literally 10 years ago with a video every single week. So 54, 52, 52 weeks in a year. Right. Times 10. Hey, that's carry the one. 520. Now I know math. The video is called Bromance, comma, pizza, comma, and your mom. Actually, it's funny because they didn't put an Oxford comma in there. There should have been. If I would have been in charge of the title, I would have put a comma after pizza because I just. That's how. I mean, I know English. Here's the video. First video I ever made for Ascension Presents 10 years ago. Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz.

[B]

And this is Ascension. I'm. Slow down. The car, driving me crazy.

[A]

What?

[B]

You know.

[A]

Okay, sorry. I say I'm going to slow down. I was talking so slowly. For Pete's sake, brother. The cars driving by, driving me crazy. Yeah, because right outside this window is the road that is just populated by.

[B]

People and cars and trucks and.

[A]

And I. I remember thinking, like, wait, do they hear everything? They hear all the cars driving by.

[B]

I'm going to film at a different time of the day so that I can avoid all the cars. And apparently I can't do that. So I'm so sorry.

[A]

Nice beard. Nice. Well, also, hi, my name is Father.

[B]

Mick Schmitz and this is Ascension Presents.

[A]

First time I ever said that. That's pretty cool. Proceed, Father.

[B]

I had the chance to go to a number of different events, and at each of these events.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. A, I do not like listening to the sound of my own voice. B, I do not like listening to how slowly I'm speaking. This is driving me crazy. Whenever I listen to the Bible in the year Catholics and Ear or Ascendant presents videos, even Sunday homilies, I am.

[C]

Speeding them up to 1.5 or 2 times speed. So this is painful. Here we go. Also. So. Da, da, da. Okay, okay, bro, tell us your wisdom.

[D]

Wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom.

[B]

It was so Great, because there were at least one or two guys who I don't get to see very often, but I really connected with these great Catholic men. And almost every time I saw these guys, someone would say, oh, look at you two. I can see got that bromance going on. Like, what.

[A]

You know who that was? It was Bobby Angel. What a guy. What a bro.

[B]

I really dislike that term bromance. And not because of any kind of, like, sexual connotation to it, but because of this. Because I think the term bromance reveals something about our culture. We look at everything. Every single significant relationship or every significant love.

[A]

Is that the word he used, significant?

[B]

Also?

[A]

Hey, nice shirt. I like your style.

[B]

Like, it almost seems to reveal that we don't understand love outside of some kind of lens of romance or some kind of context of romance that we say, like, we look at everything. I mean, I think about every TV show, every movie, every song, almost that's on the top 40 list. Has to do in some ways with. With romance, in some ways with, like, what the Greeks called Eros and that kind of thing that, that. That idea of reducing this huge thing called love to this not as huge thing called romance or this not as huge thing called Eros, it just. I find it a little bit annoying. And here's why.

[A]

I like where he's going with this. I speak of him in the third person because that was me 10 years ago. I don't even know. But. But I do agree with this, recognizing. See Lewis's book the Four Loves, right?

[B]

Where he talks about Eros being one.

[A]

Of the four loves.

[B]

Talks about Storge.

[A]

Yeah, that's the.

[B]

Your mom one, which is like the.

[A]

Love of affection as well as Philia.

[B]

That brotherhood, that true friendship.

[A]

And then of course, agape. Let's see what he has to say about that.

[B]

You know, the Greeks would talk about this. They talk about Eros. It's the love of desire, the love of romance. Essentially, you have storge, which is the love of affection. So if you're thinking of, like, what's storge? Storge is, you know, when it's an autumn day and you go home, like that smell of the house. When you walk into your home, see your mom, you have store day for her. You have that kind of love for her. The love you have for pizza is store gay pizza.

[A]

Nailed it.

[B]

Hopefully your love for your mom is a little bit deeper than their love for pizza. And you have this also this thing.

[A]

So this is just a style thing. That whole, like, deep Swallow. And you also have this thing. Okay, whatever. I'm letting it go. Probably have a thousand other tics. Oh, my gosh. Man, oh, man, what a gift.

[B]

CS Lewis, in his book the Four Loves, has pointed this out in a really profound and really insightful way that almost everyone on this planet experiences Eros in some way or another. And almost all of us experience. Well, all of us experience Storge in one way or another, to one degree or another.

[A]

Storge. Everyone experiences Eros. Everyone experiences. In fact, do I go on to mention Midsummer Night's Dream? Because if I didn't, I missed that opportunity. I believe in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream as well as Romeo and Juliet. He wasn't elevating Eros to this massive height like his love theater plays, you know, but it was making fun of the fact that people fall in and out of Eros so quickly. In fact, the beginning of Romeo and Juliet, he's in love with Rosalind. Rosalind.

[B]

Rosalind.

[A]

He's in love with Rosalind. And then hours later, he's in love with Juliet, and three days later, they're dead. Shakespeare's making fun of this because everyone experiences Eros, but there's a third kind of love. Philia. We're going to talk about this. My guess is we're going to talk about this. I literally haven't watched this in 10 years, so we'll see how my memory is.

[B]

But he says it's very rare for a person to experience Philia, this real friendship. Now, not just buddyship, you know, or pal ship, but real friendship, whether it between. Between men or between women, that's extremely rare because the others are easier. But Philia, true friendship has this new characteristic to it, a new character to it. And that character is this. The character is that I don't desire to possess anything from you. I don't necessarily need to get anything from you when it comes to Eros romance. I mean, part of the whole thing is I desire this person. I want to, in a certain sense, possess this person.

[A]

I was just having a conversation about this within the last week. Possessiveness and friendship. Poison, basically, it's poison to friendship. It's poisoned to Philia. It's also, we recognize it's poison to Eros, right? At some point, there's a healthy jealousy. Like God is jealous of us because we're meant to be in an exclusive relationship with him. A husband ought to be jealous of his wife if she's giving her heart to someone else. Vice versa.

[B]

A wife should be jealous for a.

[A]

Husband, if he's giving his heart to someone else. But when it comes to Philia, real friendship, there can't be possessiveness. Yeah, that's fascinating. Good job. Keep on. Keep talking, Father Mike.

[B]

But there's a desire to kind of have and to hold. Right?

[A]

That's kind of language we use.

[B]

Kevin told. When it comes to Storge, same kind of thing. It's, I love the feeling I get when I'm home. I love the feeling I get when I eat pizza. I love this kind of affection. It's really rooted in what I'm kind of getting out of this. But in so many ways, Philia, it's not about, like, us, not about holding on to this person. The way in which C.S. lewis described it in his book The Four Loves, and he says is this Philia does not involve two people looking at each other. Philia typically involves two people standing side by side, pursuing the same goal.

[A]

Pursuing the same goal.

[B]

That's why I'm talking to these guys who I get to see over the course of the summer. I'm like, yeah, the reason we connect so much is because here's a man of God. I want to be a man of God. I want to pursue Jesus with everything. They want to pursue Jesus with everything.

[A]

And that's why we get along.

[B]

We're running the same race. And there's a certain kind of sense of getting that Philia that just kind of gets eliminated when you start talking about bromance. I mean, this is the reason why that we can't watch Lord of the Rings and see Frodo and Sam be.

[A]

Really, really close and not think, oh.

[B]

Is there something going on there? No, it's called Philia. These two men are living life side by side, pursuing the same goal and helping each other pursue the same goal. That's the reason why we can't read the Old Testament. Because there are people who read the Old Testament and say, well, there's David and Jonathan, these two incredible friends from the Old Testament. Oh, they must have had something else going on. The Bible must have been trying to say that they had a deeper, quote, unquote, deeper relationship than just their friendship. But there is almost nothing deeper. That's why married couples, when they really love each other, yes, they have Eros for each other, but when they really want to demonstrate to the rest of.

[A]

The world, what they say is that.

[B]

They love each other with a unique love. What do they say? They say, well, I married my best friend, Jinx. Why? Because they're saying, eros, is good and it is good. But there's something even more pure and often richer than Eros, and that's Philia. And the fourth love, of course is Agape, which is the self emptying love that Jesus reveals fully on the cross and in the Eucharist.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That we're all called to as Christians.

[A]

Self giving.

[B]

But when it comes to sacrificial, this natural love that can be transformed by supernatural grace, a lot of times we don't have that experience. And you might be someone who's watching this right now and you're thinking, like, I wish I had that prayer. I'm gonna invite you to do this. Ask God. God is the God of love. Not just of Agape and not just of Storge and not just of Eros.

[A]

But God is also the God of Philia. Yeah, friendship.

[B]

Pray to God that he brings a friend into your life, that you can pursue the same goal.

[A]

I'd also say this. I would say not just pray for a friend, be a friend. There is something so remarkable. I mean, I would just get out of yourself. And there's something about this that I think, you know, it's really hard when you're lonely. Really hard when you're lonely to be okay to be alone, if that makes sense. Hard to be when you're only to be alone. But man, oh man, there is something about just saying like, you know what I'm gonna do is I'm just going to enter into life. I'm gonna engage with life.

[B]

I'm not gonna wait around for a friend.

[A]

Pray to God. Yes, absolutely. But I'm also gonna find something that gets me out of myself. And maybe that is another person or friendship or a hobby. Maybe it's a pet, maybe it's something, some goal of some sort. But there's something that gets me out of myself. Because again, CS Lewis talks about this like side by side pursuing the same goal. But if I'm not pursuing a goal, then how can I ever find affiliate friend? Because affiliate friendship comes from recognizing that you're pursuing a goal next to someone else. So if I'm not racing after something that actually has captured my heart, AKA.

[B]

The Lord Jesus, then I'm.

[A]

I, I might not ever get to the place where I. I meet that. That true? Really? A friend. You know, I bet every one of.

[B]

Us know is someone who.

[A]

No one wants to spend time with them. Maybe you and I could begin to make time for them. Because we're not the only one. Only lonely ones in the world. There are people around us who just if we gave them a little bit of our eyeball time, a little bit of our heart, a little bit of our attention and affection, make all the difference for them. So, yeah, pray for a friend. Be a friend. Find something passionate, something that you want to pursue with everything you have and then pursue him.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

And you'll find sooner or later there's someone who is racing alongside you. Anyways. That's fun. A lot younger in that. Not a lot. 10 years. I'm a lot younger in that. Anyways. Marvellous. Here at Ascension presents 10 year anniversary. My name is Father Mike.

[B]

God bless.