Is It Normal to Feel Lonely? Fr. Mike on Loneliness - The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast

Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast Episode: Is It Normal to Feel Lonely? Fr. Mike on Loneliness
Release Date: July 24, 2025
Host: Ascension
Description: Faith, pop culture, and headline reflections from Fr. Mike Schmitz.

Introduction to Loneliness and Its Universality

Fr. Mike Schmitz opens the episode by addressing loneliness as a fundamental human experience. He distinguishes between being alone and feeling lonely, emphasizing that loneliness stems from the fallen state of humanity rather than mere solitude.

“A universal experience of what it is to be human is to experience loneliness.” [00:00]

He references the biblical account of Adam in Genesis, highlighting that while Adam was physically alone in the Garden of Eden, he was not lonely—a state altered by humanity's fall.

“Loneliness is the result of the fall. It's not the result of being alone.” [00:45]

Biblical Foundations of Loneliness

Fr. Mike delves into the scriptural underpinnings of loneliness, drawing examples from both Old and New Testaments to illustrate that loneliness is a shared human and divine experience post-fall.

Adam and the Garden of Eden

Using Genesis 1 and 2, Fr. Mike explains that God recognized Adam's need for companionship, which led to the creation of Eve. However, he underscores that Adam’s solitude was not loneliness until sin entered the narrative.

“We cannot be alone and still be lonely... it's every single one of us experiences the pain of being surrounded by people but still feeling lonely.” [02:15]

Jesus’ Experience of Loneliness

Fr. Mike reflects on Jesus Christ’s humanity, suggesting that Jesus also experienced profound loneliness, especially during pivotal moments such as in the Garden of Gethsemane.

“Can you imagine growing up with a fully human nature and a fully divine nature and how isolating that experience could be?” [04:30]

He cites the Gospel account where Jesus asks his closest disciples to watch and pray with him, only to be left alone, intensifying his sense of isolation.

“He says, can you not just watch with me one hour?... one of the most crushing moments of his entire life.” [06:10]

Psalm 88: A Foretaste of Jesus’ Loneliness

Highlighting Psalm 88, Fr. Mike notes its unique tone of despair without the customary note of hope found in other Psalms, paralleling the loneliness Jesus experienced.

“Psalm 88 is, my only friend is darkness. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness.” [07:45]

St. Paul and Apostolic Loneliness

Fr. Mike references St. Paul to illustrate that even the apostles faced deep loneliness, especially during trials and moments of intense need.

“Here is the apostle St. Paul, who knew what it was to be lonely.” [09:20]

Paul’s writings, particularly during his imprisonments, reveal his feelings of abandonment and isolation, reinforcing the message that loneliness is an intrinsic part of the human condition, even among the faithful.

The Christian Response to Loneliness

Transitioning from the problem to the solution, Fr. Mike offers guidance on how Christians can navigate loneliness by drawing closer to Jesus and recognizing the shared experience of saints throughout history.

Embracing Loneliness Without Panic

He advises listeners not to panic when feeling lonely, acknowledging the pain as real and valid while also reminding them of their connection to Christ.

“The pain is real. That pain is profound, and that pain is normal.” [11:00]

Finding Comfort in Christ’s Presence

Fr. Mike emphasizes that Jesus understands loneliness intimately, offering a profound sense of companionship even in moments of deepest isolation.

“You have Jesus who knows exactly what that is like.” [13:15]

The Role of Community and Outreach

Highlighting the importance of community, he encourages listeners to reach out to others, fostering connections that can alleviate feelings of loneliness.

“Maybe you could send a text like that. Maybe there's someone in your life that you know. This person, I don't think this person has anyone. Maybe I'm the one who reaches out...” [17:50]

Practical Steps to Overcome Loneliness

Fr. Mike provides actionable advice for listeners struggling with loneliness, blending spiritual insights with practical tips:

Recognize You Are Not Alone: Understanding that loneliness is a common experience shared by Jesus, saints, and fellow humans.
Reach Out to Others: Taking proactive steps to connect with friends, family, or community members, even through simple gestures like sending a good morning text.
Engage in Prayer and Reflection: Turning to faith practices to find solace and strength during lonely times.

“In your loneliness, you're not alone. You can let them know that in their loneliness, they're not alone.” [19:30]

Conclusion: Embracing Community and Faith

Fr. Mike wraps up the episode by reaffirming that while loneliness is an inevitable part of the human experience, faith and community provide the necessary support to navigate these challenging emotions. He encourages listeners to lean into their faith, reach out to others, and remember that Jesus stands with them in their moments of solitude.

“In your loneliness, you're not alone.” [21:00]

He closes with a blessing, reminding listeners of the enduring presence of God in their lives.

“God bless.” [21:30]

Key Takeaways

Loneliness vs. Being Alone: Loneliness is an emotional state resulting from disconnection, not merely physical solitude.
Biblical Context: Both Old and New Testament figures, including Adam, Jesus, and St. Paul, experienced profound loneliness.
Shared Human and Divine Experience: Jesus' humanity includes experiencing the depths of loneliness, offering a model for believers.
Practical Solutions: Engaging with community, reaching out to others, and deepening one's faith are essential strategies to combat loneliness.
Affirmation of Not Being Alone: Emphasizing that others share the experience of loneliness, providing comfort and solidarity.

Notable Quotes

“Loneliness is the result of the fall. It's not the result of being alone.” [00:45]
“Can you imagine growing up with a fully human nature and a fully divine nature and how isolating that experience could be?” [04:30]
“Psalm 88 is, my only friend is darkness. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness.” [07:45]
“You have Jesus who knows exactly what that is like.” [13:15]
“In your loneliness, you're not alone. You can let them know that in their loneliness, they're not alone.” [19:30]
“In your loneliness, you're not alone.” [21:00]

This episode of The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast offers a compassionate and faith-centered exploration of loneliness, providing both theological insights and practical advice to help listeners navigate their own experiences of isolation.

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[00:00]
A
A universal experience of what it is to be human is to experience loneliness. Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and this is Ascension presents how it was in the beginning in Genesis chapter one and chapter two. Here is Adam. He's put in the garden and he is alone. And God even says it's not good for the man to be alone, but he's not lonely. Loneliness is the result of the fall. It's not the result of being alone. And we know that this is true because here we are even, you know, post fall, where we cannot be alone and still be lonely. We all experience this. And that's not just people who are living on their own. Maybe you're living on your own side, just people who don't have their family nearby, who don't have really, really close friends. It's every single one of us experiences the pain of being surrounded by people but still feeling lonely. And even if you have someone in your life who loves you so well and so deeply, we know this. We know that at some point everyone either walks away or they're taken away by time, by death, by circumstances. And every one of us will experience the depths of loneliness. It's not just us, you guys, even Jesus. I mean, again, I'm just projecting this on Jesus, but when God became one of us in Jesus Christ, he experienced the depths of loneliness. Can you imagine growing up with a fully human nature and a fully divine nature and how isolating that experience could be? He's one of us. Of course he's one of us in all things but sin. But think about even that. What if you were like the people around you in everything but sin? Yes, you'd be one of them. But how isolating would that experience be? We know that Jesus experienced that isolation in a profound way, possibly his entire life. I'm going to put that out there. Possibly his entire life. But at the same time, we know that he experienced it at the end of his life. We know that in the garden of Gethsemane, right? He takes even the clue, the three closest men closest to him and said, come watch with me. Come pray with me. And they failed him. And it actually seemed like in the gospel, it seems like it bothered him because he says, can you not just watch with me one hour? Can you not just here you are taking your rest. Where he was going through one of the most crushing moments. Gethsemane means place of crushing, right? One of the most crushing moments of his entire life. And the people he may have counted on the most him failed him. I don't know if you know this about the Psalms, but out of 150 Psalms, even the most devastating of all the Psalms, they always kind of enter, end with kind of like a positive thing at the end. Like, even if, like everything else is going wrong in my life, at the end of each psalm is, but I can trust in the Lord, but I will praise the Lord. Except for one psalm, and that's Psalm 88. It's this foreshadowing of what will happen to Jesus. One of the things it mentions is that my friends have all abandoned me. All day they surge around like a flood from every side. They encircle me because of you, friend and neighbor, shun me. And the last line of the whole Psalm, Psalm 88 is, my only friend is darkness. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. Paul. Think about St. Paul. At one point, you know, Paul's writing to other Christians. He was in a trial. In the moment of his trial, in the moment of his greatest stress, the moment of his greatest need for others. He said, everyone abandoned me. So God himself knows what it is to be lonely. Here's the apostle St. Paul, who knew what it was to be lonely. And here you are. Here I am. And we know that if we're going to be followers of Christ, if we're just going to be human, we are going to know what it is to be lonely. The question is, what do I do in the loneliness? Because that's the thing. Loneliness is a now after the fall is a normal part of our lives. And for the Christian, loneliness is one of the ways we experience life close to Jesus. So we're all going to experience loneliness. What do we do when we experience loneliness? The first thing I'd say is not to freak out. I think sometimes when we go through some kind of suffering and loneliness is a real suffering, have a heartbroken is a real suffering. And I know there are people who are listening to this or watching this, who you've experienced. You're like, man, my whole life. I've been alone my whole life. And there's no prospect of anyone coming into my life who knows me deeply. Yes, that pain is real. That pain is profound, and that pain is normal. Not only is that pain normal, it's important to remember you are not alone in your loneliness. Again, if you're someone who your whole life like, I'm just different from the people around me. And there's something about me that just puts me on the outside, think about Jesus. My proposition is Jesus entire life. Yes. He goes through life as One of us, because he is fully human, but he also walks among us as someone who knows what it is to not be known. When we experience that loneliness, we experience that like, no, I don't know. I don't believe that anyone has ever known me, does know me, or maybe even will ever know me. You have Jesus who knows exactly what that is like. My invitation for all of us is not just to hope that maybe someday God brings someone like that into our lives, although that's great, but to right now recognize Jesus. You know this and more. I would even venture to go on to say that Mary, the mother of God, would also know this. Here's Mary, who lived, was conceived without sin and lived by the grace of God without sin. That she also, while she's completely only human, she also would experience some degree of that loneliness of there's something about me that sets me apart. Not in the way that I imagine. Is it like, oh, this is amazing. I'm the best person ever. Not that, but that sense of like, okay, this is the pain of not being just like everyone else. This is the pain of not really being known. This is the pain of being on the outside. If you've experienced life on the outside, you know that God himself, Jesus and the mom he gave to us, Mary, they've experienced this as well. And every saint who ever lived, they experienced this as well. And your mom and your dad, they experience this. And your grandparents, they experience this. And every person around you, they're experiencing it to some degree. And what that means is even in your loneliness, you're not alone. One last thing. My brother, he sent my brothers in law and I, he sent us a text that was a video of a man who's like, he has, like, scientifically based, like, neurology kind of stuff. The video said this. It said to get a good morning text from someone you know and care about and someone who knows you and cares about you has been demonstrated to increase your, like, happy emotions and gives us a feeling of connectedness. Now, maybe you don't get a text like that, but maybe you could send a text like that. Maybe there's someone in your life that you know. This person, I don't think this person has anyone. Maybe I'm the one who reaches out and just says, hey, good morning. Have a good Tuesday. Again, in your loneliness, you're not alone. You can let them know that in their loneliness, they're not alone. Anyways, that's what I got from all of us here. Ascension presents. My name is Father Mike. God bless.