Podcast Summary: "What to Do with My Loneliness" by Fr. Mike Schmitz

Episode Information

• Title: What to Do with My Loneliness
• Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz
• Publisher: Ascension
• Release Date: June 12, 2025
• Description: Fr. Mike Schmitz delves into the profound experience of loneliness, particularly within the Christian life, offering faith-based insights and reflections.

Introduction: Acknowledging Loneliness [00:00]

Fr. Mike Schmitz opens the episode by confronting the often-taboo subject of loneliness. He emphasizes that while Christians are reassured with the belief that "you're never alone, God's always there," the tangible feeling of loneliness can be so intense and overwhelming that simple reassurances may not suffice.

“Loneliness is real and loneliness is really difficult.” [00:00]

The Epidemic of Loneliness in the 21st Century [02:15]

Fr. Mike identifies loneliness as a significant cultural and societal issue in modern times. He attributes this epidemic partly to the contemporary expectation that adulthood entails leaving one's familial and communal roots to forge an independent life elsewhere—a practice relatively unprecedented in human history.

“Today in the 21st century is a crisis, epidemic even of loneliness.” [05:30]

Historical Context vs. Modern Expectations

Historically, individuals remained within their hometowns, maintaining deep-rooted connections with family and community. This stable environment fostered enduring relationships based on mutual understanding and shared experiences. In contrast, today's mobility encourages geographic and social fragmentation, often leading to superficial relationships devoid of lasting depth.

Family Dynamics and Loneliness [12:45]

While traditional family structures provided a safety net against loneliness, Fr. Mike clarifies that family alone does not guarantee emotional fulfillment. He acknowledges that dysfunctional family environments can perpetuate feelings of isolation, emphasizing that one can feel profoundly lonely even amidst relatives.

“Unless you're the holy family, your family is dysfunctional. It's still possible to be lonely in the midst of your family.” [18:20]

Biblical Perspectives on Loneliness [22:50]

Fr. Mike draws on Christian theology to offer solace and understanding regarding loneliness. He references Jesus Christ, known as the "man of sorrows," to illustrate that even divine figures experienced profound isolation and abandonment.

“Jesus, God himself, in some mysterious way as man knew what it was to be lonely, misunderstood for sure, to be abandoned for sure.” [28:10]

Similarly, he reflects on St. Paul’s writings, highlighting moments when Paul felt unsupported and alone, reinforcing that loneliness is a shared human experience even among saints.

The Purpose Behind Loneliness [35:00]

Delving deeper, Fr. Mike suggests that loneliness serves a significant purpose: it underscores our intrinsic need for communion and authentic relationships, reflecting that humans are created in God's image for love and connection.

“Your experience of loneliness points to the fact that you're made in God's image and you're made for communion.” [40:05]

Made for Love

He emphasizes that loneliness is not merely a void but a profound indicator of our capacity and need for love. This perspective shifts loneliness from being a mere emotional state to a fundamental aspect of human existence that aligns with our divine purpose.

God's Presence Amidst Loneliness [47:30]

Addressing the spiritual dimension, Fr. Mike reassures listeners that God's presence does not negate the experience of loneliness. Instead, He accompanies believers through their lonely seasons, offering comfort and companionship without immediately alleviating the pain.

“It's not just true that Jesus will meet you at the end of that road of loneliness. It's that Jesus enters into the loneliness with you.” [52:45]

Letting God In

He encourages listeners to embrace their loneliness as an opportunity to deepen their relationship with God, allowing Him to be present during these challenging times rather than postponing spiritual intimacy until loneliness dissipates.

Conclusion: Embracing and Acknowledging Loneliness [60:00]

Fr. Mike concludes by urging listeners to acknowledge their loneliness without shame or self-judgment. He reiterates that loneliness is not a reflection of one's worth or lovability but a natural part of the human condition that points towards our need for connection and divine love.

“The loneliness you experience is not a sign that you're not worth loving. It's not a sign that you've been rejected. It's not a sign that you're not worthy of love.” [65:20]

He invites listeners to invite God into their loneliness, assuring them of His unwavering presence and love.

“God, who is love, can meet you in the midst of that longing and in the midst of that pain. So let him in.” [68:50]

Final Thoughts

Fr. Mike Schmitz offers a compassionate and faith-centered exploration of loneliness, blending theological insights with practical reflections. By validating the reality of loneliness and presenting it as a pathway to deeper communion with God, he provides listeners with both comfort and a framework for understanding their emotional struggles within the Christian faith.

Key Takeaways:

• Loneliness is a pervasive and deeply felt experience, even among believers.
• Historical and societal shifts have contributed to the modern epidemic of loneliness.
• Family, while a traditional support system, does not always alleviate feelings of isolation.
• Biblical figures like Jesus and St. Paul experienced profound loneliness, highlighting its universality.
• Loneliness underscores the fundamental human need for connection and communion, aligning with our creation in God's image.
• God's presence accompanies believers through their lonely moments, offering solace and companionship.
• Acknowledging and embracing loneliness can lead to a deeper spiritual relationship and understanding of oneself.

Notable Quotes:

• “Loneliness is real and loneliness is really difficult.” [00:00]
• “Today in the 21st century is a crisis, epidemic even of loneliness.” [05:30]
• “Unless you're the holy family, your family is dysfunctional. It's still possible to be lonely in the midst of your family.” [18:20]
• “Jesus, God himself, in some mysterious way as man knew what it was to be lonely, misunderstood for sure, to be abandoned for sure.” [28:10]
• “Your experience of loneliness points to the fact that you're made in God's image and you're made for communion.” [40:05]
• “It's not just true that Jesus will meet you at the end of that road of loneliness. It's that Jesus enters into the loneliness with you.” [52:45]
• “The loneliness you experience is not a sign that you're not worth loving. It's not a sign that you've been rejected. It's not a sign that you're not worthy of love.” [65:20]
• “God, who is love, can meet you in the midst of that longing and in the midst of that pain. So let him in.” [68:50]

Listener Recommendations: For those grappling with loneliness, especially within the context of faith, this episode offers a compassionate and theologically grounded perspective. Fr. Mike Schmitz's insights encourage both acknowledgment of one's pain and the embrace of divine companionship as a source of comfort and understanding.