Why Is There No Marriage in Heaven? - The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast

Summary of "Why Is There No Marriage in Heaven?"

Podcast: The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz
Produced by: Ascension
Release Date: July 3, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "Why Is There No Marriage in Heaven?", Fr. Mike Schmitz delves into a profound theological discussion prompted by a personal conversation he had with a long-married man grappling with the Church's teachings on marriage in the afterlife. This episode explores the nature of love, the purpose of marriage, and the eternal state of human relationships in heaven.

The Initial Concern: Marriage in Heaven

Fr. Mike begins by recounting a conversation with a man who expressed deep distress over the Church's teaching that marriage does not continue in heaven. The man stated:

"In heaven there would be no marriage. I love my wife so much and if there's any teaching in the church, any teaching of scripture, any teaching of Jesus that I just, just grates and grinds my gears, is this teaching that in heaven I don't get to be married to my wife forever?"
[00:30]

This poignant expression highlighted a common misconception and emotional struggle regarding eternal relationships.

Fr. Mike's Reflections on Eternal Love

Fr. Mike reflects on the man's sentiment, marveling at the depth of his love and the pain caused by the perceived absence of marriage in heaven. He observes:

"Imagine loving someone so much that you're like, I've already been married to them for 30 plus years... That wouldn't be enough for me. That's awesome."
[02:15]

He emphasizes the transcendent nature of love that believers aspire to, suggesting that heaven offers an amplification rather than a diminution of earthly bonds.

Understanding the Teaching: Marriage in Heaven

Addressing the core teaching, Fr. Mike examines Jesus' statement that "in heaven there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage." He interprets this not as the annihilation of marital bonds but as a transformation of their nature:

"I don't think that this means that if you are married on earth, that your spouse is just another one of the random people in heaven... God reveals that in heaven, there is not less, there's more."
[04:50]

He argues that God's plans for the afterlife transcend human understanding, assuring believers that the sanctity and depth of marital love are preserved and even elevated in eternity.

The Nature of Love in Heaven

Fr. Mike elaborates on the unique and infinite love that God bestows upon each individual, making additional love in heaven both natural and profound:

"God loves every one of us infinitely, but he also loves every one of us infinitely, uniquely."
[06:30]

He posits that this infinite and unique love ensures that relationships in heaven, including marital bonds, will be more meaningful and deeply fulfilling than those on earth.

The Purpose of Marriage

Delving into the theological purpose of marriage, Fr. Mike outlines its dual roles:

Procreation and Education of Children:

"The primary purpose of marriage is the procreation and education of children... to raise up that life in a way that those kids become saints."
[09:10]
Spiritual Growth of Spouses:

"Marriage is for the good of the spouses, so that you help each other get to heaven."
[10:00]

He likens marriage to a vehicle that facilitates spiritual growth and sanctification, preparing individuals for their eternal destiny.

Marriage as a Spiritual Journey

Using metaphors, Fr. Mike illustrates marriage as a means to an end rather than the end itself:

"If marriage is the bus, get off the bus because you're there."
[11:25]

This analogy underscores that while marriage is instrumental in guiding individuals towards heaven, the eternal state surpasses earthly institutions and relationships.

Reassurance of Eternal Connection

Addressing fears about losing connection with one's spouse in heaven, Fr. Mike reassures listeners:

"Heaven is always more not less... if you love your wife that much on earth how much more will you love her in heaven?"
[13:40]

He emphasizes that the absence of marriage does not equate to a loss of bond but rather an elevation of love beyond earthly constraints.

Conclusion

Fr. Mike concludes by encouraging listeners to cherish and glorify their earthly marriages, recognizing them as sanctified unions that prepare and purify individuals for their ultimate union with God. He reaffirms that heaven promises a state of existence where love is perfected, and relationships are enriched beyond human comprehension.

Notable Quotes

On Eternal Love:

"Heaven is always more not less."
[12:05]
On the Nature of God's Love:

"God loves every one of us infinitely, but he also loves every one of us infinitely, uniquely."
[06:30]
On Marriage as a Spiritual Vehicle:

"Marriage is like a vehicle that gets you to your destination."
[09:45]

Final Thoughts

This episode offers a comforting and theologically rich perspective on a topic that often causes confusion and distress among believers. Fr. Mike Schmitz effectively bridges scriptural teachings with relatable analogies, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the sanctity of marriage and the glory of eternal love in heaven.

Transcript

A (0:00)

I would never have guessed the teaching that he was so, so troubled by, like genuinely deeply perturbed was the word is. Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and this is Ascension presents. I remember this conversation I had with a man a number of summers ago, and he was a husband and a father of a number of children. He said, I have a really big problem with the teachings of the Bible, the teachings of the church. It really just grates on me every time I hear it. In heaven there would be no marriage. And he said, I love my wife so much and if there's any teaching in the church, any teaching of scripture, any teaching of Jesus that I just, just grates and grinds my gears, is this teaching that in, in heaven I don't get to be married to my wife forever? I thought, wow, that's, I've never heard that. Number two. I thought, that's amazing. Like, I pause on this for one second. Here's a man who's been married, I think at that point, maybe 30 years, give or take, maybe even more. And he was like, that's not enough to imagine loving. This is so beautiful. Imagine loving someone so much that you're like, I've already been married to them for 30 plus years. And even if we make it to 50, maybe we make it to 60. That wouldn't be enough for me. That's awesome. But what's the heart of the teaching? Part of the teaching is not this. We have to understand this. Who Jesus says, in heaven there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage. Okay, great. What does that not mean? Here's what I think. Take it for what it's worth. I don't think that this means that if you are married on earth, that your spouse is just another one of the random people in heaven. I don't think that's what that means at all. Why? Because it doesn't make any sense for God to say, okay, here's a great good and holy thing on earth. In heaven, it's just going to be destroyed in heaven, it's just going to be neutered in heaven, it's just going to be. It's going to be a big zero. It's going to be a big nothing. What does God reveal about the new heavens and the new Earth? Well, he reveals that eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as entered the mind of man. What God has in store for those who love him in heaven, there's not less, there's more. Right? So just keep this in mind in Heaven, there is not less, there's more. Again, Father Mike's opinion, it is highly unlikely that in heaven your spouse is just another like, oh, yeah, hey, Bertha, nice to. There you are. You know, good to see you around these days. My guess would be you would love your spouse more in heaven than you ever did on earth. You would also love everyone in heaven more than you did on earth. But that doesn't mean that you love everyone in this kind of generic, vanilla, bland, one size fits all way. Why? Because God does not love us in a generic, bland, one size fits all way. That's not how God loves us. God loves every one of us infinitely, but he also loves every one of us infinitely, uniquely. So think about this. God loves us infinitely and he loves us infinitely, uniquely. He can do that because he's infinite. But in heaven, it makes sense that if we now have this amplified, purified love for everyone, including for God, we would have an amplified and purified love for your spouse, for your kids, for your extended family. With God, heaven is more, not less. At the same time, marriage is for a purpose. What is the purpose of marriage? Well, purpose of marriage is procreation, education of children, right? To bring new life into the world and to raise up that life in a way that those kids become saints. Like, that's, that is the primary purpose of marriage, the procreation, education of children. The second goal, second role, second thing marriage is supposed to do is for the good of the spouses, is so that you help each other get to heaven. And so I've heard people say it like this, marriage is like a vehicle that gets you to your destination. So it's. Or it's the route that gets you to where you're made to be. That because of God's grace, permeating and sanctifying, purifying your love in marriage, you are now the person, your spouse is now the person that God had called them to be and redeemed them to be through the way you learned how to love by loving each other. Marriage is the vehicle to get to your destination. Or you say it like it's the train track to get to your destination. When you get to the destination, you get off the train. In some ways, you get to the destination. And if marriage is the bus, get off the bus because you're there. It got you there. Now, that's not to minimize marriage, but it's to highlight what is the point of marriage. And the point is procreation, education of children. And the point is the good of the spouses. To help you become that person that can step into heaven. When you've stepped into heaven you no longer need the bus that got you there the train that got you there because you're there. That doesn't mean that you need to be afraid that your spouse isn't going to know you. You don't have to be afraid that you are not going to know your spouse because heaven is always more not less. To my friend this guy praise God for the gift of his marriage that he loves his wife so powerfully that 30 years is not enough. But also keep this in mind. If you love your wife that much on earth how much more will you love her in heaven? No matter how much she loves you on this earth how much more will she love you in heaven? Even if it's not marriage it will be something because in heaven there's more not less. Anyway from Elvis here to Citizen presents Monday. By the way God bless.