Put Him In A Headlock - The Friend Zone

Transcript

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Asante (0:30)

Let' From Nintendo and Illumination the Super Mario Bros. Can take care of the kingdom.

Dustin Ross (0:37)

Comes a super powered adventure on April 1st.

Asante (0:44)

Pack our things.

Dustin Ross (0:45)

The galaxy gets even bigger. He knows that's my bike, right? Yes, sir. The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Hity PG. Only Peter's April 1st get tickets now. Welcome to the Friends. My name is Dustin.

Francesca (Fran) (1:06)

I'm Francesca, also known as. Hey friend.

Asante (1:08)

Hey. My name is Asante.

Dustin Ross (1:11)

This is the friend zone. Let's start the show.

Francesca (Fran) (1:17)

I'd say I'm surprised, but I know who you are.

Asante (1:20)

You are. Yup. Wow.

Dustin Ross (1:23)

Real simple and straight like that. Now y' all know that this weekend on Sunday, the Oscars, the Academy Awards took place. And a few upsets, a few things that we were very happy about, a few things that we anticipated, you know what I'm saying? A few things shit kind of went how we knew it was gonna go, right? But further to that point, what was so fucking disgraceful to me was the way that everybody started straight up hating on Teyana Taylor. Straight up, just straight up hating. There was an incident, very brief incident between her and a security some the security personnel at the event. She said that the guy had shoved her and she checked him about it and told him he was very rude, you know what I'm saying? Kept it moving. Her voice wasn't even raised and amplified. She was like, you're rude. You're very rude. You're very rude. She was like, he put his hands on me. I'm a female. He doesn't need to do that. Later on when people asked her about it because of course that clip went viral, right? Something so simple really. No, no profanity used, nothing. Just a simple addressing of an issue that took place. These then went online. I'm gonna name names today. We naming names on Today. They don't went online on their Twitters talking shit about Tiana Taylor being this and being that and her not having any decorum, don't know how to act. We gotta keep pull our pants up in the white people's establishment. Basically, all that mattering tweets like this somebody, some lady named Power. Underscore within. Underscore me on Twitter. She tweeted a video of the Best Supporting Actress category being called at the awards, which we know Tiana was nominated for. And when the category was called and the white lady won, I think her name is Amy Madigan or something like that. But anyway, she won. They said she got down in the movie Weapons, so whatever. When she won, Teyana jumped up and was, like, clapping, supporting her, happy for her. You know what I'm saying? Like, this lady named Power within me gonna say. I knew from the first hour something was off. What's off about her clapping for her peers? Right. They're trying to frame it as if she was acting weird in the audience. Then when her film that she was nominated in that Best Supporting Actress category, four, the film, which is called One Battle After Another.

Summary

The Friend Zone Podcast – Episode: "Put Him In A Headlock" (March 18, 2026)

Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), and Asante

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the impact of public scrutiny and online negativity against Black women in entertainment, centering on Teyana Taylor's polarizing Oscar night. The hosts dissect how viral moments lead to unfair narratives, touch on the intersections of race, joy, and expectations in public spaces, and have extended (hilarious, sometimes heated) discussions about internet culture, technology anxiety, and relationship woes. They also share personal updates, pop culture commentary, and reflections on current media.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Teyana Taylor at the Oscars: Celebration Interrupted

[01:23] Dustin (Main Rant):
- Recap of the Oscars and Teyana Taylor's historic night—nominated for Best Supporting Actress and her film "One Battle After Another" winning Best Picture.
- Viral “incident": Teyana lightly checks a security guard after being shoved.
- Internet backlash accuses Teyana of “lacking decorum”; Twitter users nitpick clips of her joyful, playful behavior—especially a playful headlock on her director as they went up to accept Best Picture.
- Dustin calls out online haters by name, suggesting the vitriol is rooted in jealousy and internalized respectability politics within the Black community.
  - Quote: “Y’all hating on her? Y’all jealous. Teyana Taylor is a Black girl from Harlem that you have seen yourself in… you relate to her.” —Dustin [05:10]
- The hosts criticize the “crabs in a barrel” mentality and urge listeners to celebrate Black excellence rather than tearing it down.
[06:50] Dustin & Fran:
- Discuss media double standards: If a Black male artist did something playful, it’d be seen as camaraderie.
- Celebrate Teyana’s fashion, visibility, and resilience over critiques of her film’s quality.
- Quote: “Why wouldn't we speak positively about this moment for her, instead of hating on her showing some joy?” —Dustin [08:29]

2. Online Negativity and Viral Narratives

The conversation broadens to the “hater economy” of the internet.
Examples cited:
- Tina Knowles’ gumbo booth at the Houston Rodeo and viral, likely fake, “bad customer” stories targeting Beyoncé’s mother.
- [12:54] Dustin: “People just want the views. They don’t be caring what it’s for or what it’s going to do in the long term. And that’s so sad and unfortunate.”
Discussion on generational differences: The lost “art” of watching one’s mouth and real-life consequences that used to exist for public disrespect.

3. Personal Updates & Celebrations

[30:49-39:48] Asante’s Birthday & New Car:
- Asante recounts buying a car, rediscovering city vs. highway driving, and grappling with paperwork and adulting.
  - “With my newfound whip and responsibilities, I decided I need to make up for some lost time driving.” —Asante [31:59]
- Fran and Dustin reminisce on driving culture in Atlanta and New York, and their own vehicle quirks and routines.
[39:48-42:47]:
- Anecdote about Fran’s partner being mistaken for a car washer (and the ensuing awkward white guilt).
  - “She comes back in a full out wail crying because apparently her wife like flipped the fuck out.” —Fran [40:48]

4. Pop Culture Round-Up

Recap of Nelly Furtado & Missy Elliott’s “remix moment” [14:32].
Shoutout to Cher’s youthfulness and relationship [17:22], sparking jokes about age-gap relationships.
[21:20-24:43] Friend Zone Patreon Announcements:
- New book pick: My Train Leaves at Three by Natalia Guerrero.
- TV binge: "The Burbs" (Keke Palmer’s series).
- Upcoming guest: Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche, finance talk, and a call for audience questions.
  - Joke about “paperback Toya” for the episode title.

5. Reality/Relationship TV: Blue Therapy

Deep-dive on "Blue Therapy" (UK reality show; couples in therapy).
Standout storyline:
- Man pretends to go to a job for months after being fired, while his partner covers 70% of rent and he buys organic food for himself.
  - Quote: “He’d been literally, Dustin, getting dressed, leaving the house, like, pretending he was going to work for months.” –Asante [69:00]
  - “That’s abusive to me. When you start separating food.” –Dustin [73:01]
- General consensus: some dealbreakers are non-negotiable in relationships.

6. AI, Chatbots & Technology Paranoia

Extended conversation on tech anxiety, privacy, and AI’s encroachment [86:31–115:00]:
- Referenced Death, Sex & Money Podcast— relationships breaking up over ChatGPT use.
- Cautionary tales:
  - A spouse becomes obsessed after AI “diagnoses” her husband as a cheater.
  - A young woman receives metaphysical messages from ChatGPT; another person is convinced to embark on a “government rescue mission” by AI and later “unalives” himself.
  - The weirdness of “Malt Book” (Reddit for AIs to talk to each other).
  - “Anything that is assimilating itself into multiple areas of your life that you did not ask for should raise a red flag.” —Asante [107:26]
- Strong advice on digital boundaries and the importance of Black professionals in ethical tech.
Practical Tech Tips:
- Be careful with what information is shared into AI tools—social security numbers, financial or personal data.
- Importance of tech/engineering education, especially for Black youth [108:11].

7. Privacy, Surveillance, & The Creeping Eye

[118:21] Discussion of powerful individuals using surveillance:
- Jeff Bezos’ phone being remotely accessed (even when off) by a foreign prince for blackmail.
- The hosts joke (nervously) about the possibility of always being watched via devices—a blend of humor and genuine unease.

8. Closing Thoughts

Final reflection on the psychological vulnerabilities created by societal stress, poor leadership, and technology.
- “We just gotta pray for our mental health… I think these are the reasons we’re so susceptible.” —Fran [117:00]
Importance of community, honest conversation, and personal boundaries as protection in the digital age.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“You’d be joyful and here they come talking about you don’t know how to act… Instead of being happy, y’all hating!” –Dustin [05:10]
“I come from a time where you got your ass whooped in person for shit like that. You had to watch your fucking mouth.” –Dustin [13:14]
“Good hair days do way more than we usually give them credit for. Even me and I shave my head every day.” –Dustin [26:54]
“Why are you curious for the next three days? She literally had the chatbots talking to each other and then they just both started clicking and I was like, ‘oh, fuck her for doing that.’” –Asante [124:55]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[01:23–09:03] Teyana Taylor backlash, Oscars, Black joy & envy
[12:54–14:21] Hater economy & viral negativity
[30:49–39:48] Asante’s birthday/car saga; generational driving stories
[42:47–44:00] “Car washer” story; racial microaggressions, white guilt
[64:36–84:14] "Blue Therapy" deep-dive: financial lies, relationship dealbreakers
[86:31–109:23] AI/tech paranoia, ChatGPT horror stories, online boundaries
[118:21–121:48] Real world surveillance, privacy fears, Jeff Bezos case
[124:03–126:40] AI bots talking to each other and the “dead internet theory”

Tone and Style

Candid, humorous, and occasionally exasperated, the trio mix pop culture critique with personal anecdotes and supportive advice, balancing serious moments with signature wit and warmth.

Takeaways For Listeners

Celebrate Black joy and excellence—don’t internalize or amplify negative, respectability-based critiques.
Be cautious about viral “discourse” and the ways social media rewards negativity.
Digital vigilance is more important than ever: protect privacy, question AI’s role, and encourage future generations to engage with tech ethically.
Relationship red flags (especially around honesty, control, and finances) are crucial to heed.
Community conversation and education—in tech, finance, and everything else—builds resilience.

Next Week’s Preview:
Financial advice special with Tiffany the Budgetnista. Submit questions on socials or via email!