The Binge - Unlocked: Family Secrets [Patreon Preview]

Summary

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The Friend Zone Podcast – “The Binge: Unlocked Family Secrets [Patreon Preview]”

Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), Assanté
Release Date: July 29, 2026
Main Topic: Recap and analysis of “Unlocked Family Secrets” Episode 1: “The Preacher’s Secret” (aired on OWN/HBO Max)

Episode Overview

This episode is a crossover of The Friend Zone’s Patreon “Binge” series, where the trio dives into the TV docuseries “Unlocked: Family Secrets.” In this installment, Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey, and Assanté break down the explosive first episode, “The Preacher’s Secret”—the story of Lydia, an accomplished Black woman, and her husband, Dennis Meredith, a beloved preacher hiding a complicated and painful truth. The team brings their trademark candor, humor, and cultural insight, sparing no one as they analyze faith, denial, hypocrisy, and generational trauma in religious Black families.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Story at a Glance

• Lydia, a highly educated Black woman from a strict family, marries Dennis, a youth pastor.
• Dennis is a closeted homosexual, acting out his sexuality while operating as a preacher.
• His double life eventually comes out via arrests, rumors, and confessions, but Lydia chooses to stay, prioritizing family, status, and church over her own well-being.
• The couple’s secrets, denial, and eventual public fallout create ripples throughout their family and congregation.

Dustin: “Dennis Meredith was a closeted homosexual man who was functioning in a bisexual capacity. That’s the preacher’s secret.” (07:00)

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2. Early Red Flags and Denial

• The hosts react with disbelief at the community’s adoration for Dennis and Lydia’s claim: “God told me he was my husband.”
• Lydia repeatedly ignores red flags, from whispers in the church to finding gay porn at home.
• The collective assessment: denial and a desire to maintain status outweighed the will to confront truth.

Francesca: “Didn’t people from the church tell her they saw him at the beach and he was with feminine men?” (12:05)

Asanté: “There were signs… He was doing the dance in your face with the thong on, girl.” (22:07)

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3. Secrets, Arrests, and Justifications

• Dennis is caught in police stings at porn theaters, house full of gay porn, and continuous infidelities.
• Lydia’s response is to bury or deny the evidence: “Family was the priority for us. And then, God, I hated that.” (08:59)
• The group criticizes the hypocrisy of both continuing to lead a congregation despite open secrets.

Dustin: “You told them lies and hid his gay behavior for 20 motherfucking years and set up in that church with a robe on, leading and judging and preaching and tapping tambourines. Meanwhile, he’s getting tapped, okay?” (10:56)

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4. Conversion Therapy & Sexuality Suppression

• Lydia tries conversion therapy for Dennis.
• The hosts lambast the notion (“I cringe so hard” – Francesca, 18:21) and note that even that was less about change and more about maintaining appearances.
• When asked to take medication to suppress libido, Dennis refuses; Lydia welcomes him back, hoping for change.

Dustin: “His hot dick having ass didn’t want to do [suppress his sex drive].” (18:31)

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5. Money, Status, and Church Leadership

• The hosts point out the couple continually relocates after scandals for financial and status opportunities.
• The congregation ultimately becomes 85% gay, with both Lydia and Dennis exploiting the situation.

Dustin: “They were completely unfit to be leaders of any capacity in church... But they kept doing it. It was a grift. The money.” (22:26)

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6. Family Fallout and Generational Effects

• Lydia is harsher toward her son when he comes out as gay than toward Dennis’s decades of deception.
• The dysfunction is revealed in the family’s mishandling of the truth, public exposure, and blended family tableau.

Dustin: “You didn’t break up with him when he gave you gonorrhea. You broke up with him when the shit became too much and it was public and you became connected to the gay shit.” (24:12)

Francesca: "I felt more struggle with the humiliation than anything." (25:10)

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7. Blended Family ‘Resolution’ & Mockery of Reconciliation

• The episode closes with a staged family dinner: Lydia, Dennis, his male partner, their children and grandchildren.
• The hosts agree it feels performative, lacking humility or genuine healing.

Dustin: “There’s an absence of humility... No mention of feeling bad for deceiving his wife or the church, just how much he couldn't leave [his lover] alone.” (33:01)

Francesca: “This...was a mockery. It didn’t feel real to me... Everyone was just playing their role.” (36:05)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dustin (on denial):
  “Any nigga that can dress in a church environment...that’s what happened.” (05:00)
• Asanté (on faith-based avoidance):
  “At what point when you lean on the Lord, did he put his arm around you and say, girl, I got you?” (21:13)
• Francesca (on performative maturity):
  “I'm always inspired by people mature enough to have blended families...But this was a mockery.” (35:12)
• Dustin (on hypocrisy):
  “If y’all can’t tell, I hate that. Be gay—and stand in my gayness. You stand in it too. You and sucking stand in it!” (37:39)
• Francesca:
  “She had on a shirt that said God’s girl...it was a mockery.” (36:38)
• Asanté (on future Patreon content):
  “We might be reading her book for the situation...The Gay Preacher's Wife: How My Gay Husband Deconstructed My Life and Reconstructed My Faith.” (38:41)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:48 – Transition from intro to Patreon preview and setup for “The Preacher’s Secret”
• 02:31 – Summary of Lydia and Dennis’ marriage and background
• 07:00 – The preacher’s secret is revealed and debated
• 08:17 – First major scandal: arrest at the porn theater
• 12:05 – Discussing church rumors and public red flags
• 18:21 – Conversion therapy attempted and critiqued
• 22:07 – Extended analogy on missing the obvious signs
• 24:12 – Discussion of shame, stigma, and Lydia’s response to her gay son
• 27:21 – Dennis parades his lover within family and church
• 32:41 – Climax: awkward blended family dinner and Dennis’s “God put her/him in my life”
• 35:12 – Reflections on maturity, performance, and real healing (or lack thereof)
• 37:39 – Closing frustrations on the episode’s hypocrisy

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Tone & Style

• Candid, irreverent, culturally sharp
• Uses Black vernacular and humor
• Does not hold back on judgments toward hypocrisy, denial, or performative religiosity

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Final Thoughts

This recap episode offers a blistering, funny, and unflinching examination of the costs of hiding, the lure of status, and the generational damage that secrets and hypocrisy can wreak within Black religious families. The hosts challenge the idea of “forgiveness” without accountability and highlight the deep, often absurd contradictions of living for appearances over truth.

If you’re interested in critical pop culture discussions with honesty and laughs, The Friend Zone continues to deliver—especially when talking about family secrets that are anything but private.

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Transcript

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[Dustin]

Welcome to the Friends. My name is Dustin.

[Francesca]

I'm Francesca, also known as.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Hey, friend. Hey.

[Asante]

My name is Asante.

[Dustin]

This is the Friend Zone.

[Asante]

Hello, friend zone listeners. I know that you miss us all, and we all miss you too. But we will be back August 5th. That is a Wednesday, because you know, that's our day. It's. And I know that y' all are missing us, but in the meantime, take a listen to some of our exclusive Patreon content. That's right, this is an episode of the Binge, which is our TV and film recapping show over on Patreon. This is where we discussed Unlocked Family Secrets, episode one on HBO Max, check it out.

[Dustin]

What's up, y'? All?

[Asante]

Welcome back.

[Francesca]

I just got what you're saying to

[Dustin]

the latest episode of the Binge, where we are continuing our recap of Unlocked Family Secrets, which airs on OWN and you can watch on various platforms, Philo, YouTube, TV, things like that. Now, this week we're going to be recapping the episode titled the Preacher's Secret. And as a heads up, next week, because my sequencing is all out of whack, we're going to read, we're going to just do episode by episode, per my direction. And the next episode that we're going to review is called the Daughter's Secret. So today we'll be reviewing the Preacher Secret and. And next week we'll be reviewing the Daughter's Secret. You got it?

[Francesca]

Got It.

[Dustin]

Okay, good. Let's talk about it now. This episode again, titled the Preacher's Secret was about exactly what you think it's about. Let's start there. Okay. Black family woman named Lydia who had gone far in her education. She came from a really strict family who wanted her to go far because her father only had a third grade education. And so back in the 70s, like 73 or 74. 73. She graduated from Vanderbilt University. And then in 75, I think it was, she graduated with her master's degree and she was on the move doing her thing, making cash money. And she had basically fulfilled the purpose that her parents and herself had laid out for herself, Right? Like she, she was educated, working, loved the Lord and stayed in church. And while she was in there, after a bad breakup, she met a man that was, he was a youth pastor at the church. Okay. When they met for the first time in 1977, Dennis Meredith. Now this is where it gets interesting. And by the way, I'm going to talk about this exactly the way I want to. I'm not trying to make this comfortable for anybody, you know, I, I, you know, it just is what it is. So if that's going to be too much for you, considering the subject matter this is connected to faith based, you know, Right. Subject matter. And if that's something you're sensitive about, that's cool. This might be the time for you to go ahead and hop out the video because I'm not gonna hold back. So I just run it. Yeah, we, Much love for you. Read the Bible in this time, you know what I'm saying? And then just come on back, we're gonna finish.

[Asante]

Tony. Why? I was like, okay,

[Dustin]

now, okay. So she met Dennis at the church. Like I said, he was a youth pastor. And now sign number one of the writing in cursive being on the wall, right? Because, you know, he wrote incursive. But the sign of the cursive writing on the wall was when she said that. And by she, I mean Lydia, who is the wife of the preacher who is narrating the story. Essentially, Lydia said that all the local moms in the church wanted Dennis Meredith, who's the man she ended up marrying, for their own daughters. Quote.

[Asante]

Dustin.

[Francesca]

He was shocked.

[Dustin]

Hit it, Asa Bass. I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes. I saw the sign. Any nigga that can dress in a church environment, you know what I mean? Anyway, so that's what happened. Now her and Dennis meet, they have chemistry of some sort, they start dating. And she said that The Lord had told her that Dennis Meredith is your husband. Now, I don't think it was a good idea for her to include that piece in this document episode. Right. Because it did not that that was detrimental to her cause, you know what I'm saying? Because look at the damn effect. God did not. And even he said that shit at the end, Dennis Meredith, when they were all at that very blended family dinner at the end,

[Francesca]

okay, we ain't there yet.

[Dustin]

You know, God put her life. God put her in my life. And God put him in my life. I was like, yeah, right. You are just literally a total. You know what you are. And if I ever seen your ass, Dennis Meredith, I'm gonna tell you about yourself because you are out of control. Okay, but anyways, back to the story. So.

[Asante]

But didn't they pray for each other? Didn't. Wasn't he the one that she prayed for or something? Or vice versa?

[Dustin]

Who?

[Asante]

One of them was the one that somebody had prayed for.

[Francesca]

She said he was who she'd prayed for. Isn't it.

[Dustin]

They all said that.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Dennis said that about Lavar or Levan. What was his name? Lavar. Whatever his name was. Lever 2000. Whatever his name was. He said that about him. He said that about Lydia. She said that about him. They lied. They was on the run. Let's just talk about it. We ain't going through all this. So Dennis Meredith was a closeted homosexual man who was functioning as a. In a bisexual capacity. That's what.

[Asante]

And that's the preacher's secret.

[Dustin]

He was functioning in a bisexual capacity. Lying to us. Well, actually at first he was lying to. Did he ever really lie to her, though?

[Asante]

I was gonna say,

[Dustin]

well, he got caught at a thief. The first. Okay,

[Francesca]

but if you don't tell someone that this is who you are, you're lying, even if you're just admitting.

[Asante]

I mean, absolutely. She just continued on with, like after.

[Francesca]

She wanted her husband and her.

[Dustin]

Okay, first incident that happened, this motherfucker. So he was active in the church, she was. And they were both posturing like a cop car. That's the Miami police card on the. With the rainbow logo on the beach. Remember they said that's how the siren sound. Maybe you.

[Asante]

I think someone should look out. But anyways up and throw away the key.

[Dustin]

So first thing he does is get caught. As, mind you, he's a full minister at this point. He gets caught at a porn theater because he solicited sex to pay for sex from a planted fake prostitute that the police were using. Like A police decoy or whatever, an undercover sting operation, right? And they got him caught up in the seediest of places. Now, I ain't saying anything is wrong, and I'm not judging what people do, but there is.

[Asante]

But when you got a wife at

[Dustin]

home and when you get your church, even outside of that, in the gay community, right? Like people look at. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but people look at that kind of behavior as seedy. And you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, like, so he was willing to even go to that depth to engage in that male on male activity, right? So that happens, he gets arrested, the police call, tell her everything that happened. He tells her, you know, hey, it was just sex. I love my family. I want you. She said she loved him, she wanted him. They was going to work on that together. So I just put it all the way. I just buried it up. I put it back because I love. Family was the priority for us. And then, God, I hated that. But family for us.

[Asante]

And so.

[Dustin]

And, and you are. I don't care what you heard about my husband. You are not going to say nothing to me about my husband.

[Francesca]

Oh, girl.

[Dustin]

And you somebody's mother. Three men. Three men. You raising three men. And. And you're a leader in this church. It's so many people that are confiding in you, asking, seeking guidance and leadership from you two miscreants. Both of y' all was up, him and her. He was the most up because he was a lion. Deceptive, homosexual, queer, bisexual, LGB man, you know what I'm saying? That's what he was. And. And he did some deceptive shit. He also had a house full of gay porn, right? She found one of the gay porn videos. He told her, it's a porno. I like watching porn. Then he came clean. So they did what they always do, just skim right over it and continue and go to church. The next day they go to church. He tells her, I will tell you everything, if you want to know, I will tell you everything. So he tells her that he's been fucking on men the entire time that they've been married, okay? And that that's what it is. But he's going to work on it with her because he loves her and he wants his family. And she said, I just didn't know what to believe, what to believe.

[Asante]

He just told you what's going on.

[Dustin]

You know, say, it was hard for me to make a decision to break up my family at the time, even though what he was doing was completely disgusting to me or it was completely confusing to me. Say that. Just don't say you didn't know what to believe and the Lord told you to stay with this. The God ain't got nothing to do with none of the shit that was going on in this video. But from her or from him, the lion and sneaking and deceptive shit that she was doing, that ain't God, okay? And your kids is mad at you because you can't.

[Asante]

You.

[Dustin]

You cold busted. Look what happened. You weren't able to keep up the charade. You told them lies and hit his gay behavior for 20 motherfucking years and set up in that church with a robe on leading and judging and preaching and tapping tambourines. Meanwhile, he's getting tapped, okay? And you knew about it because he. To his credit, eventually he did say, hey, this is what I've been doing. This is what I'm doing. Whatever. But he was so slappy and nasty and dirty about it. You're dirty like that. He was the way he brought that home to her, right?

[Francesca]

You're dirty.

[Dustin]

Brought gonorrhea home to her. And she even that she talking about. I just didn't. I didn't know what was going on. You know exactly what's.

[Francesca]

Girl, you didn't want to look at what was going on.

[Dustin]

That picture him on the boat you cared about.

[Asante]

Oh, oh.

[Dustin]

In the Speedo when he was poaching. That's called pooching. Ow. Pooching and perching. That's what that's called.

[Francesca]

Didn't people from the church tell her they saw him at the beach and he was very with feminine man?

[Dustin]

And he was with feminine man. He was feminine. And then they cut straight to that picture. The editors throw you up if you got beef with anybody.

[Asante]

You need to let him straight to.

[Dustin]

You know, he love you.

[Asante]

I love that photo.

[Dustin]

I look good there.

[Asante]

You know, he probably. Oh yeah.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

And then.

[Dustin]

And he in every picture, right?

[Francesca]

Didn't you know? Didn't you know?

[Asante]

She knew.

[Dustin]

Welcome to the Friends.

[Francesca]

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[Dustin]

I couldn't believe it, man. And then. Then the. He. He meets the love of his life right at a goddamn sex video shop. Did you catch that detail?

[Asante]

Yep.

[Dustin]

That's where they met.

[Asante]

Yep, yep.

[Dustin]

Hold on.

[Asante]

And brought him into the church.

[Francesca]

Wait, did he say that explicitly or y' all caught it through?

[Dustin]

He said it explicitly. Yeah, he said he said it explicitly. Let me get to that part. Because there were rumors, mind you, by that point, they had moved two or three times. You know what I'm saying? Chasing or running away from rumors from. From his. From his incidents and occurrences that would be happening. You know what I'm saying? They running around still.

[Asante]

He just wanted to go be pulling

[Dustin]

off the church grift. He said that too, remember? He was like.

[Francesca]

Oh, he did.

[Dustin]

He showed cause when they went to counseling. Oh, beyond that. After he gets busted and shit. For the umpteenth time, since this is a black thing, let's just make it all the way black and use black vernacular and colloquialism so we all know, like, umpteenth. So for the umpteenth time, you know what I'm saying? He done fucked a man behind her back and got caught. She was listening to a Christian podcast. Lydia's an idiot. I'm just gonna say she's an idiot. And she's so susceptible to from people. She's very naive to be as smart because she's a very smart woman. Very book smart. Her career path and her professional life was one that was filled with accolades and accomplishments to the point where her children almost said she was going away from the house all the time because she was working. And he. Okay, the sissy he was. He was able to use her being at work to his advantage in their counseling session. So she always at work, and she ain't giving me enough sex. I need more sex. Yeah, but not from her.

[Francesca]

Right?

[Dustin]

You're actually getting enough.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Just like they get into yours. But anyway, so, yeah, she's listening to that. To Christian podcast. Here's about Converse conversion therapy, which we all know.

[Francesca]

When she brought that up, I cringe so hard.

[Asante]

I Was like, what are we doing?

[Francesca]

What. Come on now.

[Asante]

What are we doing?

[Dustin]

He goes to conversion therapy, participates up until the point where they tell him that his sex drive is too high and they can give him something to quell it. Meaning some sort of pill to lessen his sexual desire, which, of course, his hot dick having ass didn't want to do. He wanted to keep getting boners and fucking on everybody he wanted to fuck. So he was not doing that. And he called her, and she said, come on home. You ain't got to do that. You come on home. We'll work it out.

[Francesca]

She said, y' all ain't gonna mess my in home dick must have been good if that's.

[Dustin]

If she went to these links.

[Francesca]

But she said, remember? She was like, the sex between us was incredible. She straight up said that.

[Dustin]

They've been freaks since the beginning. Now, mind you, again, this is. This is church. These are church leaders, right? The first story they tell is about. And again, I'm by no means judging about behavior, right? I'm judging it in the context of the judgment that these people cast on everybody else, including people like me, because please believe he one of them type of that'll do all of that and get right in that pulpit and preach against homosexuality. Homosexuality in his own way. I. I can see the kill.

[Asante]

Same that just nutted in your mouth. That's crazy.

[Francesca]

So crazy work.

[Dustin]

It just all makes me mad. I don't even wanna keep going about all the dirty. The dirty things that he did. But it was just so many.

[Asante]

No, because it's awful.

[Dustin]

You meet this man, people look to

[Asante]

you for not just guidance, but, like, spiritual. Yes, but as a moral compass. Like, you're, like you said, a leader, you know? And so when you see leaders doing shit like that, you know, certain things are like, all right, you know, the white man did it, whatever. Like, there are certain things that are excusable and acceptable. You know, if you're a sexual deviant behind closed doors with your wife, you know, and y' all invite people into your bedroom, you have an understanding. These are different. These are things that are in our business. But when you're doing things that are literally. You're getting caught, you got an arrest record, you know, you're giving your wife certain things, like, these are all problems. Like, these are all issues. And the fact that she couldn't be like, all right, this nigga just told me what's up. What he like, I need to get up out of here. Or he told me what he like, we need to have a conversation about how we going to structure this, because I need to have some sort of control. Control. Because I know he can't control himself. All right? I know he can't control himself. I'm out of here. Like, there was just no further, like, all right, let me lean to the Lord. All right? The Lord gave me a plan. Here's the plan. We need to work it out. I was like, let me lean to the Lord. And then just another issue happened. Let me lean to the Lord. And it's like, all right, well, at what point when you lean on the Lord, did he put his arm around you and say, girl, I got you. Because, like, I don't think that he would put you through this. That's like, when you're saying, like, this has nothing to do with the Lord, does it? I'm like, it doesn't like, or you're just not.

[Francesca]

You ain't listening.

[Asante]

I think about those Bible stories, right? Or not even a Bible story. What's the. The story about, like, the man on the roof. And, you know, he prays.

[Dustin]

Oh, never mind.

[Asante]

You know, he's. He's praying for. It's like a bad storm outside, and this man's stuck on the roof. He's praying for help. It's just. This is. I don't know. It might be an old white man's tail. Might not even be nothing to do with the Bible, but maybe it's based on something from the Bible, right? But he prays for help. Somebody pulls up on the boat, they're like, hey, get on the boat with us. The man's like, nah, I pray, you know, the Lord's gonna help me. The boat rides off. It's like, all right, then. And then, like, a plane shows up or a helicopter shows up. Hey, get on. And he's like, nah, I ain't getting on. The Lord's gonna help. And so then the helicopter leaves. Ultimately, the man drowns. And I think there was a third one I missed out. But the moral of the story was the Lord had given him signs, and he just didn't accept them. And it was.

[Francesca]

Come on.

[Asante]

What? Like, like, ma', am, I'm sure there were signs.

[Francesca]

There was.

[Asante]

You just did not. Like, like. You know when they say, like. Like big red flags, like the baton, like, they was doing the whole dance in your. He was doing the dance in your face with the thong on, girl. Like, I don't know. It's just wild. It's so. I know.

[Dustin]

I ain't mean to cut you off.

[Asante]

No, you're it.

[Dustin]

But I know because her motivation. She's a greedy church grifter. That's what she is. A God grifter. Her and him, they were. They were completely unfit to be leaders of any capacity. Damn sure. In a church. But they kept doing it. You know why? The money. The money, yeah. And look at what. What he said. We grew. What they were so attracted to flee California because of his dirty deeds and come back to Georgia because there was a church that had an opening for pastoral leadership and they saw it as an opportunity. It was a fledgling church. They went and packed it. Packed it with 85% who? Gay people. That's what they did. It's a grift. And at the same time that she was allowing him to do that. Right. Mind you, he tells her, well, I'm so sorry about what I did. I'm a busy. A dream house with siding. I'm not going to judge, so let me be quiet because I'm not judged.

[Asante]

But you.

[Dustin]

Right, I forgot what dream house. Dream house got siding any. So. So anyway, so he does that. She has a Benz and every big brim church hat you can think of. She was hot. She was fine. Go be a. It don't matter to me. I'm putting my feet in this jet tub at night when that beats a jet to holiday. I'm chilling this tub with these jets. My kids going to good schools and wearing good shit. We straight?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Don't be a. I don't care. Just bring that money at home. That's what she was on. And as long as I can profile as the first lady and lead these classes at the school and be over the HIV ministry. What the fuck is the HIV ministry? What are you talking about?

[Francesca]

What does that mean?

[Dustin]

How incompetent can you be that you succumb to fears that are based in motherfucking. Based in stigma. Right. And it affected the way you parented your son when he told you he was gay. Now, you didn't deal with all this gay shit all these years from your husband, but. And that's okay because you can keep it a secret. But the minute that the information of somebody close to you being gay, it be becomes, you know, available for consumption, now you want to separate yourself from it. Well, I struggle with him being gay because I worried about my baby getting hiv. I never thought about that with Dennis. I bet you didn't because you weren't concerned about your health. You got. Said you got gonorrhea and just took your treatment and kept it Moving. You didn't break up with him then. You broke up with him when the shit became too much and it was public and you became connected to the gay shit. That's why I don't have any respect for that lady more.

[Francesca]

That's why I With the humiliation than anything.

[Asante]

Yeah, I felt bad for that son. Like watching him go fuck him too.

[Dustin]

No, I'm just.

[Asante]

I feel bad for that son. But the other son had me rolling because I was like, I know that was fighting when he was like. He said, they said my daddy was in the park. I said, what? Or whatever he said. I was like, I know that.

[Francesca]

That was funny though. He was like the park. What you mean.

[Asante]

He was Dennis? Well, no, because Dennis wasn't. That's why. It was crazy. Like, I genuinely feel like I. I didn't expect or remember the money aspect of it. Dustin. I was thinking, I was like, the must not have been getting no more playing in la. So he was like, we going back to the south or some. Cause what the. Like, he on a whole horror tour. Right? Whole tour right now. Oh, horror tour still works.

[Dustin]

Ho's Tales. Remember Billy Porter, when Jasmine. Jasmine Sullivan won that Grammy? And it goes.

[Asante]

But the nerve of him have brought his lover into the church. He gave the church out and brought his lover up in that.

[Dustin]

Like, what brought his lover in there? Not only did he bring his lover

[Asante]

in there, everybody knew.

[Dustin]

Met the. At the sex shop, went over the next day. They met in November. By January, he told him that he wanted to make it in place the first. Make it official with him. He was 57 or whatever, 53. The boy was 27, I believe, were the numbers they gave. And he. She said that. And by she, I mean his wife, Lydia. She said that the rumors were running rampant through the church that the young man that Dennis had demanded that she hire as a teacher in the school or whatever, Right. And she said that the. That Dennis had been bringing this man around to family dinners, holidays, all that.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

And then come to find out they were

[Francesca]

that me up. I mean, because there's levels to it. Like, obviously it's all disrespect, period. Bottom line, no way around and no justification. But there's also levels to the disrespect. Like, you are a liar. That has. That is a secret squirrel that does secretive shit. That sucks. But that's your choice. But now you bringing it into my home, into my workspace with my family. Like, come on, man. Do you.

[Asante]

The church, our spiritual church, our work

[Francesca]

that we created, right Even if she

[Asante]

separated it from Faith. Our business. Yeah, like.

[Dustin]

Like I feel like you hate me.

[Asante]

And he was firing on all cylinders.

[Francesca]

Yeah, I wouldn't be able to see it any other way. You hate me. What?

[Dustin]

And you damn sure hate yourself. But anyway, so that happens.

[Francesca]

That was so crazy.

[Dustin]

The story ends up coming out. She tells their children that the truth about their father. Out of spite. Out of spite, might I add. Not with.

[Francesca]

Instead of having a family conversation, as you should, you do it to be petty.

[Dustin]

And he said, I don't care. I'm just old. And left her and went right and moved in with that man that he had been waiting on that freedom. He said, I felt free. I was free. And what did he say? I wrote this down. I have the quote written down because I was so.

[Asante]

You know, he had probably been.

[Dustin]

Bought that boy a house, he said,

[Asante]

moved him in, had him kept.

[Dustin]

Welcome to the friends. Every time I'm in the zombie. I love my phone, but not my carrier.

[Asante]

What do I do?

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[Dustin]

Like what?

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[Dustin]

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[Dustin]

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[Dustin]

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[Dustin]

This was funny to me too, when the. When the sons were. They were recalling the moment where their mother had told them that their father was gay. The one gonna say, my daddy was sitting there and he had his legs crossed like this.

[Francesca]

That one was cracking jokes.

[Asante]

I hollered, he was the one.

[Dustin]

I was like, oh, my God, man. So that happened. Dennis said, fuck it, and moved into a condo with lavar. And in 2007, she finally. Lydia finally filed for divorce. Dennis came out at the church and had Lavar Stand up in the middle of the church service to introduce him as his lover. At that point, the congregation was 85% gay. So I'm assuming the other 15% hit it. You know, they all. They walked out at that point like, oh, hell no.

[Asante]

Okay, 500% might have been like, oh, okay. This is a different kind of church mess we stay in.

[Dustin]

The next thing that took me down was Lydia said that during the time when they were going through the divorce and he was living with Lavar, she said she was inspired to write a book. And the book was called

[Francesca]

Miss Hot Pussy.

[Dustin]

Oh, my God. That's his autobiography. That's Dennis. That's Dennis book. But anyway, the book was called. That was the name of the book that lead. All jokes aside, that was the name of the book that they showed the gay preacher's wife.

[Asante]

Yeah. So that means you did know.

[Dustin]

Girl, I don't know how anybody kept a straight face in the meeting. It probably wasn't no meeting.

[Asante]

You know, we might read that for the situation.

[Francesca]

How funny does that mean? You know what I would have done for the logo? I would have done the preacher's wife and then the little gay hanging. Like, it's like, You know, Brandon, she

[Dustin]

should have posted a picture, her and him, under the dryer. Anyway, so she said she knew she had to forgive Dennis so that she could be free. Now they're all sitting down together to eat. The gay son, the gay daddy, the gay daddy's husband, Lydia, the other children, the grandchildren, the spouses of the children, they all sitting down breaking bread together. And this is why I can't stand Dennis right here because of the things that he does and says. Now, he probably. I'm sure he was putting on for the cameras because we know he's fake as fuck, right? We know that he's a liar and a con artist, but he gonna sit at that table and say, I mean this. God put me and her together and put him together with his hand on the. On the man's arm or whatever.

[Francesca]

Then he says, they are mature, eating

[Dustin]

dessert that my ex wife cooked in my husband's kitchen. That's what he said.

[Francesca]

That was the line. How did y' all feel about this scene?

[Dustin]

You really want me to talk about it? We're gonna be here 10 more minutes.

[Francesca]

Never. Please, I need.

[Dustin]

First of all, what kind of mess was that? This is mess. First of all, there have obviously not been no appropriate conversations to. Really, if there was. If conversations were had, y' all wouldn't even feel comfortable sitting up like this. Lavar had no reason to be there now. Live your life. Everybody grown and divorced. And they got a right to live however they want to do. And it's nothing wrong. At least he's living in his truth now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but there's an arrogance and there is an absence of humility. There's an absence of, of damn. I feel bad that my family erupted in this way. I feel bad that I deceived this woman, that part in the beginning, because eventually she deceived her goddamn self. But I feel bad that I deceived this woman in the beginning. I feel bad that as a man of the cloth, a minister, this is a. This type of deception and lying is attached to me. There was no mention of that the entire episode. No mention of that. But he told us how much. How he just couldn't. I just couldn't leave him alone. We was talking about Lavar. He told us that. He told us about the names of the sector. I went to the six o' clock Pop shop. Sex shop. He, you know, he knew every detail, but never apologized for disrespecting. I want to say the. All the pulpit. Disrespecting. The pulpit. I was going to say the office of minister because I was on a roll. But anyway, yeah, him, man, and her too. I don't give a damn. Fuck them. Now, he did her wrong. But a lot of the. That she willfully brought on herself, she did exactly that. And I, and I, and I. I also strongly am opposed to her taking up space as a leader in this church when she and her life were a mess and she was willfully lying and hiding shit and deceiving that congregation. I did not like that shit. In the name of hiding some gay shit while giving him license to go fucking be a. Yeah, so it was a great episode. It was. I think, you know, that's me.

[Francesca]

I'm always inspired by people that are mature enough to have blended families, even regardless of, like, how things may have fallen apart, you know, if it wasn't amicable. But y', all, you know, over time were able to work it out. And now you're able to be around your ex wife and her new husband and their kids, your kids. I'm always like, wow, some people are really mature. But this, like Dustin said, it was a mockery. It didn't feel real to me. It felt like they were putting off of the cameras. And I bet they all like, hate this. You know what I mean? Like, I think they hate being in this dynamic I think it. It just didn't like the partner or the husband. He didn't say a word. See how he was just sitting there like this the whole time?

[Dustin]

Just like what?

[Francesca]

It was the posture. He's just sitting.

[Asante]

He was wearing this.

[Francesca]

He looked. He looked stank. The husband looked like. Like you said, no humility, no accountability. The wife looked like she just wanted things to look a certain way, which is what most first ladies hang their lives on, right? My life needs to look a certain way. It needs to be perceived a certain way. And everyone was just playing their role. And all I kept thinking was, this is so crazy to me. I cannot believe this. I can't believe. I know they hate each other. I know they hate each other.

[Dustin]

And she had on a shirt that said God's girl. Did you see that?

[Francesca]

I did.

[Dustin]

When they was serving that food. Shirt said God's girl.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Dustin]

And Lavar, you come on behind me with them two dishes, and she walked in with a dish and Lavar came in behind her with them dishes. It was a mockery. It was a mockery. You know what I'm saying? That shit was a straight up mockery. And then Keith, still putting God in that. God put her in my life, and God put him in my life still. And then when they were after they had broken up and they were talking on the steps of that church, well, it was like during the present time of filming when they went to revisit the church and they were outside sitting on the steps and he told her, yeah, because you remember my. My best sermon was the one on whatever it was. And then she said it was. Yes, it was.

[Francesca]

Sure.

[Dustin]

Yes, yes.

[Asante]

You know what it means?

[Dustin]

That's what she said. They still caught up in that? Dumbass. All they give a about is the attention they receive. Sound like Eddie Murphy as church leaders, right?

[Asante]

You've seen it. He was trying to sound like Eddie fucking Murphy was.

[Dustin]

You seen it? Yes, I guess it would. I guess I was like, that's what she was doing. They were getting on my nerves. If y' all can't tell, I hate that. Be gay. I don't have to be standing my gayness. You know what I'm saying? Against all odds. Literally looked at as the person who. Literally be looked at as a person who's choosing to be wild and, you know, gay and. No, you standing it too. You and sucking stand in it. I can't stand that kind of man.

[Asante]

You know what it made me think of? It made me think of that movie with Regina hall and Hung For Jesus, save your soul.

[Francesca]

Oh, it was Sterling.

[Asante]

Yeah. Cause remember how Sterling was, like, how he was playing it up with the young boys?

[Francesca]

Yeah. Yep.

[Asante]

This was very reminiscent of that. So I don't know if part of this was from that, if they had read her book or whatnot, but we might be reading her book for the situation. I've never get religious, so just know that that might be coming in the future. I'm on Amazon looking at the book itself now.

[Dustin]

I hope it's out.

[Asante]

The Gay Preacher's Wife. How my Gay Husband Deconstructed My Life and Reconstructed my Faith. The intro to this book is, you

[Francesca]

better make your coin, girl.

[Asante]

Here's the intro. There's a leak in this old building. There's a leak in this old building. And my soul has got to move to another building. A building not made by man's hand. Lashan Pace. And then it goes into some of this book, and I just think that it might be an interesting read, so.

[Dustin]

Well, you read something to be interesting.

[Asante]

If that's something you all be interested in us reading, covering Patreon, let us know if you made it this far.

[Francesca]

We'll circle back at the top of the year.

[Asante]

Dustin, that's a what Chop.

[Dustin]

All right, What Mary J. Blige say when she had up that. That when she was judging that boss, she was like, chop, my friend. That's my friend. She's like really deep in the ballroom scene. She's like a mother. She's a woman, A CIS woman. That's really deep in the ballroom scene. And when it happened, she was at my old apartment in Harlem, like, the day that that shit happened, and we was sitting on the couch. And she looks like the way she reacted when the pictures came out of Mary J. Blige shopping, at first she was like, mind you, she got like, trophies and all that shit. She's like a big deal in the. So she gonna say, oh, my God.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

God.

[Dustin]

She's like, can you imagine the same? You get chopped by Mary J. Black, who's known for looking beautiful. Oh, my God. That's how she was reacting. I was in that dying. It was so funny. But anyways, that was this episode.

[Francesca]

We love y'. All.

[Dustin]

Thank y' all for watching. And remember, we're gonna call this an avant garde watch.

[Francesca]

Shuffle.

[Dustin]

Yes, we gonna shuffle, shuffle.

[Asante]

Cause what's the title of the next episode we're watching?

[Dustin]

The Daughter Secret.

[Francesca]

All right.

[Dustin]

The Daughter's Secret.

[Asante]

The Daughter Secret.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Asante]

Stay black and protect your magic.

[Francesca]

Love you guys. See you next week.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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