The GMV

Summary

The Friend Zone — Episode: "The GMV"

Date: April 8, 2026
Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey, Assanté
Podcast Theme: Exploring mental health, mental wealth, and mental hygiene with humor, authenticity, and real-life experiences.

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode, titled "The GMV," delves into the idea of how life doesn't always follow the plans or timelines we’re handed, and how the definition of success is evolving. With Asanté leading the week, the hosts reflect on personal milestones, societal expectations, redefining success, community, and the importance of staying mentally and emotionally nimble as life twists and turns. The episode incorporates candid stories from their upbringings, transitions into adulthood, and the impact of community on progression. Along the way, they touch humorously and thoughtfully on pop culture, listener feedback, and wellness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hot Topics in the Culture & Personal Life Updates

• Offset Incident & Rapper Lifestyles (01:06–07:30):
  Dustin shares a jaw-dropping story about rapper Offset allegedly being shot at a casino, highlighting the pitfalls of celebrity, addiction, and street life, and urging talent to refocus on opportunities rather than self-destructive paths.
  • Quote: “Offset, get your shit together, man. Cause if I hear one more headline, I'm not going to do nothing, but I'mma be mad.” — Dustin (07:30)
• The Power of Nature & Allergies (08:22–13:00):
  Fran discusses embracing outdoor activities, the joy of Portland’s natural beauty, and the onset of potential allergies—a novel experience for her.

2. Black Business of the Week (19:50–20:55)

• Bird Pizzeria, Charlotte, NC:
  Asanté highlights a Black-owned pizza shop featured in the New York Times' “22 Best Pizza Places in the U.S.,” and the gang discusses their own favorite pizza experiences.

3. Listener Letters & Comments (23:12–32:55)

• Florida’s Sunshine Law:
  Explaining Florida’s bizarre news cycle and openness with true crime coverage.
• AI & Media Addiction:
  Reflections on the addictive nature of social media as designed by companies like Meta.
• Declining Traditional Honors:
  Prince’s refusal of a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame sparks audience reflections on what it means to claim or reject societal benchmarks of success.
• Brandy Memoir for Book Club:
  Community engagement celebrated as they announce Brandy’s “Phases” memoir as the next book for Patreon.

4. Main Discussion — Life’s Timelines & Redefining Success (42:41–119:58)

The Premise (42:41–45:44)

• Question Raised: What happens when you follow all the advice and prescribed steps but life doesn’t look or feel how you expected?
• Reflection: The “life script”—school, job, marriage, house—doesn’t fit everyone, and timelines are shifting with each generation.
  • Quote: “Has the definition of success changed or are we just figuring it out in real time?” — Asanté (42:49)

Personal Journeys & Breaking the Mold (45:44–56:54)

• Fran: Attending college out of familial obligation, finding real fulfillment through creative, self-directed work (YouTube, podcasting), and now helping to pave new industries.
• Dustin: Growing up in a restrictive religious environment, learning to form his own identity, and gaining unique communication skills he uses now—while acknowledging the hardship and healing involved.
• Asanté: Going straight into work, building skills in customer service, and developing social prowess—highlighting alternate ways of achieving life readiness.

Generational Shifts & Social Norms (67:44–74:00)

• Generational Differences: Older generations didn’t have today’s distractions or opportunities; their versions of success and certainty were shaped by available options and socio-legal barriers.
• Access and Opportunity: Fran describes her life-altering experience being identified by a supportive (gay Puerto Rican) teacher and gaining access to private school—sparking a conversation about luck and the impact of mentorship.
  • Quote: “Access really does change the rigidity that people have created for us.” — Fran (74:00)

Community, Connection & Defining Home (85:12–90:39)

• The Ideal of Home: Fran shares her lifelong dream of a serene home, inspired by an upbringing in less-than-ideal circumstances.
• Belonging: All three reflect on role models, older siblings, and neighbors who shaped their understanding of “cool,” friendship, and fellowship as central to fulfillment.

“The GMV” & Success Redefined (98:30–118:14)

• Modern Success: Entrepreneurship, community-building, and “non-traditional” pathways are now common benchmarks of success (e.g., internet careers, tradwife movement, etc.).
• Constantly Evolving Goals: Success is more personalized and changes as life changes; big and small wins matter.

Practical Reflections (118:14–119:32)

• Success Today: Kindness, stability, security, and adapting to current circumstances are more relevant markers than arbitrary societal checklists.
  • Quote: “Right now, success looks like being kind to others, creating stability, and doing what you can to combat literal evil forces presented against us.” — Dustin (117:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can't stand a ‘I did it first ass bitch.’ Let people have their moment!” — Dustin (60:03)
• “We're just playing a different game than what we were prepared for.” — Asanté (120:05)
• “Allow your successes to change, and also to not hit the mark on some of them, because I failed at a couple things...it didn't pan out and it’s like, okay, I tried, what's the next thing?” — Fran (118:54)
• “If I’m standing in a meteor hole...call me a n****r if you want to, that’s gonna...I’m putting your face right in that molten...Whatever that is.” — Dustin, on the absurdity of clinging to social systems during existential threats (112:13)
• “Life for us ain't been no crystal staircase.” — Dustin (93:56)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------|---------------| | Offset incident & cultural headlines | 01:06–07:30 | | Outdoor living, Portland, and allergies | 08:22–13:00 | | Black business of the week | 19:50–20:55 | | Listener letters & feedback | 23:12–32:55 | | The GMV: Redefining Success & Timelines | 42:41–119:58 | | “This Week in Wellness” (Aging & fitness) | 121:37–137:11 | | “This Week in Music” | 137:19–161:47 | | “This Week in TV” (RHOA & more) | 161:47–171:16 |

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Music & TV Highlights

“Songs to Play, Listens Lately” (144:43)

• Fran’s Playlist: Iman Omari’s “Energy,” Sir’s “The Real,” Anderson .Paak’s “Come Down”
• Dustin’s Picks: Crime Mob’s “Circles,” Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” Zaya Bell’s “Deserve,” Xavier Omar’s “Say It”
• Asanté’s Beats: The System’s “You Are In My System,” Isaiah Haran’s “This Girl Wants Everything,” Justin Bieber’s “Swap It Out,” India Shawn’s “Rain on Me”

TV Segment (161:47)

• Real Housewives of Rhode Island: New, messy, authentic, and entertaining.
• Real Housewives of Atlanta: Season 17—new cast including Pinky Cole and K. Michelle, strong return to form, full dramatic moments.
• Bell Collective: Birmingham: New franchise focusing on Black women entrepreneurs, premiering on Dustin's birthday.

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Wellness Segment: Fitness for Longevity (121:37–137:11)

• Fran urges listeners to design current habits—particularly around fitness and mobility—for the elder they want to become, focusing on quality of life, not just aesthetics.
  • “Do you ever consider the things you’re doing now—how is that contributing to the elder that you want to be?” — Fran (129:03)

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Warm, candid, and humorous: The hosts blend humor with vulnerability, making life’s difficulties approachable.
• Supportive, celebratory: They champion each other’s wins, encourage listeners to celebrate their own milestones, and highlight Black excellence in business and arts.
• Encouragement to question the script: The core message is about writing your own definition of “success,” adapting as you grow, and not clinging to outdated roadmaps provided by society, family, or tradition.

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Final Thought

The hosts leave listeners with practical affirmation: Success is not one fixed destination—it’s a series of choices, pivots, and moments, both big and small. Stay intentional, be kind, honor your journey, and don’t be afraid to step off the mapped path. You and your story are valid, wherever you are on the timeline.

Transcript

[A]

With VRBoCare, help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Last night you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party this morning. It'll take you two minutes to list it on Depop and make your money back. Just grab your phone, snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again. There's a birthday girl searching for them right now. Your one and done look is about to pay for your next night out,

[B]

or at least the ride home.

[A]

Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

[C]

Welcome to the Friends.

[A]

Every time I'm in the zone.

[C]

My name is Dustin.

[A]

I'm Francesca, also known as hey friend. Hey.

[B]

My name is Asante.

[C]

This is the Friend Zone. Let's start the show.

[A]

They are sick of it and so am I.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah, I mean sick of it this week. Do you hear me? Offset then got shot in the ass. Oh, it's another negative Offset headline. Every goddamn day is something else that makes him look like a really up person. And as Amigos fan who is heartbroken and crippled by the death of takeoff and sad about the goddamn Migos. Offset, you ain't helping. This is according to the neighborhood talk. Shout out, shout out to the neighborhood. We love y' all leadership. So yeah, according to the neighborhood talk man, this then got shot in the ass at a casino. Yes, peep this. So according to YouTuber a guy named CD Nash, Lil TJ okay is reportedly in custody following an alleged shooting incident involving offset. The YouTuber. The YouTuber said that little TJ okay must have had the AK. But anyway, they said that there's video footage of the incident, but that has not been publicly released or confirmed by the authorities at this time. So there's a booking screenshot that shows tj, whose real name is Tion, married Tion like T boss.

[B]

Anyway,

[C]

he's listed in custody at Broward County Main Jail as early as April 7th. Here's what happened. Little TJ just recently went viral for blasting Offset online for being a broke ass nigga. Said that he ran into him at a casino. Offset was begging everybody for money to keep gambling.

[A]

Oh wow.

[C]

TJ said that at first he gave him $5,000. And as the night went on, the total amount of money, money that he's estimated to have given, given him ranges from 10 to 13,000. So he gave him at least 10,000. Might have been 13,000. He also alleges that Offset was calling people for money and not getting answers. And he even claimed that a random lady gave Offset $1,000 that same night. So according to CD Nash, the YouTuber, he said that reportedly TJ had confronted Offset at this casino in Florida. It was the High Rock Casino down there in Florida. And he said that he confronted money. They got allegedly got to throwing hands, fist fighting. They said Offset was whooping little TJ ass and he ended up walking away from the scuffle. Well, when he turned his back to walk away, little TJ allegedly shot him in the buttocks in the ass. Oh, yeah, and now they said that lame too.

[A]

Just because you losing or you lost.

[C]

Now this is what I heard, allegedly from my sources, that Offset had lost his ID in the fight. So when he went to the hospital for treatment, he didn't have no id. And when they he got in the room and laid on the table, put his pants down, they seen that the bullet was on the side of his ass crack. It was Offset. That's how they knew that's who he was. He knows how that did him because the bullet wasn't at the top of his ass crack.

[A]

I knew this was a setup. I was waiting for the plane.

[C]

Think about it. Offset got shot in the ass and was back there with his little booty cheeks out at the hospital because of this shit. Come on, man, you didn't got caught in the bed with Selena Powell's succubus ass. You know what I'm saying? And now here we go dealing with this shot in the ass in the casino in Florida offseason.

[A]

You could have been a family man.

[C]

Come on, man. You could have been a rapping man, too. You should have been a family man. And you could have been a rapping man at the same time, too. But instead, you blowing money fast in the casino. Casino. I know that Offset comes from, you know, humble beginnings or whatever. And getting a lot of money in a quick amount of time is something that can be addictive for people who don't come from money. But you can't get it like that, especially when you literally have a legitimate talent, a standout talent. Offset is an incredible rapper, one of my favorites, honestly. And so you have that. You have celebrity, you have fans that are rooting for you. You're able to tour, and. And you in the goddamn casino getting shot in the ass. What's going on? You should have got whipped in the ass while they had your pants down back there in the er. Cause that's what you need. Somebody should have got the belt, or at this point, even taking a hand. You could have got a little. Then I tell your ass not to eat in that casino. That's what we needed to have. Offset, man, got shot in the ass.

[A]

This is sad.

[C]

And getting shot in the ass by anybody with a little in front of their name is demeaning. It's demeaning. If anybody named Lil Some shot you in the ass. That's demeaning. Offset, as a rapper, you should be ashamed of yourself. Shot in the casino. It's shot in the ass. In the casino. In the casino, the casino. Down to the casino. So that I said get your together car to be on tour. Sudden selling, setting records for selling out show after show after show after show. Happy, thriving. Seem like she got a rhythm going on in her life now you done did this shit.

[A]

Probably has a lot to do with what he's going through.

[C]

Come on, man, pull it together. Lean into your talent. You a superstar, known all over the world. You get looks in fashion. You got a bunch of different ways you can be earning money outright instead of gambling in the fucking casino. In Florida, getting shot in the ass in the casino.

[B]

Listen, the phrase isn't just reserved for women. Offset, get in the booth, bitch. You out here in these streets, living this street life. Go make some money instead of gambling it away.

[A]

And you know what sucks? There was a performance. I don't remember which one, but he was dancing. He had, like, background dancers. And I remember thinking, this is awesome.

[C]

We've never seen a dancing rapper like that.

[A]

Yeah, like that was able to entertain in that way. Because rappers are usually just the walking back and forth, maybe a little jumping up and down, but for the most part, that's not their bag. And I thought he found a really cool niche.

[C]

Yeah, he's there. I'm wearing all them Michael Jackson jackets and shit. For what? Moonwalk. Put them socks on.

[A]

It's unfortunate.

[C]

I'm tired of it, man. So, Offset, get your shit together, man. Cause if I hear one more headline, I'm not going to do nothing, but I'mma be mad. And second of all, you got shot in the ass in the casino, so there's that. With that being said, welcome to the Friends. On your weekly look into all things mental health, mental hygiene and mental. Both butt cheeks intact. Because who wants to get shot in the ass in the what? Casino. Not me. Hey, friend. Hey, Asante. How you doing? Y' all ass sheets intact, too.

[A]

They are Lovely clappers, even.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Are you drinking matcha Asante?

[B]

No, it's water. Oh, because of the glass. Yeah.

[A]

I thought he was like, how class.

[C]

She got green juice

[B]

bottle water. Isn't it?

[A]

I feel great. I had a great weekend. It was first of all, the weather. Thank you, Jesus.

[B]

Jealous.

[A]

Beautiful. Sunny 70 and 70 and up. Yeah, the whole weekend.

[C]

So I bet all that foliage was pretty, wasn't it?

[A]

Oh. What? This is one of the most beautiful cities. It really is.

[C]

Is that a hair color process too foliage, or am I true.

[A]

It sounds like it.

[C]

Like, I believe it's a brand. But ain't it? What is it called?

[A]

Oh, you're thinking of biology, I think. Yeah, biology or something like that. Well, we were outside the whole week. And I have to say that made me so happy.

[C]

Okay, so what did you do? Give us a little bit.

[A]

Give us a little bike riding. We went one of the days we just bike. We were on our bike for hours, just riding through all the neighborhoods, all the trees, playing music. It was amazing. We had a picnic, friend. I would have smell.

[C]

I'm just telling you that's. I like doing shit like that.

[A]

I just don't know how y' all do that.

[C]

It may. Because it's.

[A]

I'm not wired that way.

[C]

The sounds, you know, amplify the things you see. You see every color in the tree.

[B]

It's want to connect.

[A]

But then I'd be paranoid, like someone's

[C]

following me, not with me there.

[A]

And then there's this. This sort of. It's a park that's like up on a hill. I don't know how to explain it, but it's called Council Crest. And it's one of our favorite parks because you can overlook the city.

[C]

Sounds so dope.

[A]

And it's full of all these beautiful cherry blossom. And so you're sitting on this hill. And it kind of reminds me a little bit too, of the meadow in New York, because people lay out with their blankets and there's people taking naps, there's people reading. There's kids, you know, on their bikes.

[C]

That's why I love this time of year, because that now you can do things like that.

[A]

Yeah. And I feel like we were pressed, very clearly pressed to be outside because we did not come home, though.

[C]

You moved there for that, to be fair, though, you know what I'm saying? To enjoy Nate. That's a big part of what makes you feel settled. So I'm glad you got that.

[A]

So great. We had our. I was eating brie cheese and Some olives and crackers and. Oh, it was just so great, right?

[C]

I love a little brie cheese with a little apricot spread. That's delicious.

[A]

Some fig spread. Oh, let me tell you.

[C]

Some fig.

[A]

But I.

[B]

No, you didn't.

[A]

Oh, I would love to name the episode that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I will say this, though. After the weekend, the whole weekend of being outside, my eyes were a little itchy last night. I found myself rubbing them. Rubbing them. And then I was like, wait. I thought of, like. I know. I was like, no, no, no. I am not someone that has allergies. I kept saying it. I do not have allergies. Maybe the pollen is just higher or something. Or more potent this spring because we also had a very mild winter, so I know that things are off around here, so.

[C]

Well, I pray you don't.

[A]

I pray that I'm just not. I already can't eat seafood. That's enough of a sin in my life, not being able to enjoy. Yeah. The trees outside the way I love them. It wouldn't be right. So pray for me.

[C]

All right. Well, I had to come back around to. To them, you know what I'm saying? Because they represented miserable times for me. Even, like, now I. I, too, was outside this weekend, and. And I was on a double dose of Claritin every day. I refused to take Benadryl because y' all both know what Benadryl will do to me. But I. So I'm, like, even right now. I took two Claritins this morning, and that's just what I've been on. Because I have to be able to work and without doing like, this the whole time.

[A]

Right. Damn.

[C]

So I pray for you, girl, to be strong.

[A]

Please, please.

[B]

Praying for everybody with allergies.

[C]

Well, almost everybody. Who'd you vote for? Because you can sneeze.

[B]

Questions.

[A]

Questions that need. What is it that need answers. So are y' all both having beautiful weather where you're at today?

[C]

It's beautiful today. Yesterday, I was out. Well, this weekend, actually, I was out. It was rainy and chilly in New York. It wasn't a pretty weekend. It was nice, but it wasn't pretty today. The sun is out. Like, it's a pretty day today in New York.

[A]

That's gonna be so great.

[B]

Yeah, it was, like. It was nice on Thursday. Friday, I was outside. I got really wasted.

[A]

Come on. I hear that.

[B]

I got really wasted.

[C]

What were you drinking? What was your drinking choice? What's your drink of choice these days? I don't even know what to order for you. At the bar. No more, man.

[B]

I used to drink tequila. I'm still heavy on tequila. Or tequila. Whiskey I can always drink.

[C]

So you still Tila?

[B]

I ain't trying to fuck you, man. The earth is flat. No. So it got fucked up on Friday, and it was nice out. Saturday was overcast. And then Sunday I went to the outlet and then it started raining and I was pissed about.

[C]

You was somewhere with Amber, too. Y' all was in a different looking kind of vehicle thing. What was that about? I was trying to put it together. I was like, they on a trolley.

[B]

We love. I remember. But I remember harassing the woman that drove that. Thank you, ma'. Am.

[C]

Was it a. What was it like a shuttle?

[B]

I don't want to lie, because I feel like. So I gotta ask Amber, but I feel like she said it was a. Like, instead of Ubers, they have these little shuttle trolley things you could take.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't remember if it was free or not. I don't remember anything. I was up. But it was fun because you. From what you saw, the. The windows were exposed, so it's like you were in a. A car that could have. Or like a van, maybe they could have had six to eight people in it. But you, you know, you had. It was open. So I was like, this is nice. So in case somebody got to throw up, they could just lean ahead outside

[C]

or if they can push them out while it's moving.

[B]

That was fun. Outlet was rainy. I didn't like that. And then it's nice, er, today it's almost as nice as it was on Saturday, which wasn't very nice, but about to be nice. Like, I think this, the rest of this week is going to be sunny.

[C]

A lot of rolling green lawns in Charlotte. Last two times I was in Charlotte, I remember that. Just a lot of rolling green hills, you know, lots of green.

[B]

Lots of cool parks. You could just dip in, probably really

[C]

pretty after it rains. You know what I mean? It's probably real lush.

[A]

Y' all do have good parks.

[B]

I love that there is just a park anywhere. There's just a. You know, we always talk about this with like, New Yorkers coming back or coming to the south, being like, y' all got trees down here. Literally just pulling up to any park and it just being park business. You know, in Atlanta, you go to the park, it'd be going on. Charlie goes to the park. Park going on. So it's like. Yeah, it's different.

[C]

I like 50, 50.

[B]

I do like 50, 50. Sometimes it'd be like, sometimes it's nice to pull up to the front part, you know, like, which is the perfect. You know, because sometimes I want to

[C]

be a put an outfit on, you know, be a part of all of that. Other times I want to go to the park to just.

[B]

Sometimes you do. You know what I'm saying? Real quick, shout out to Atlanta. I love y' all forever. Y' all need to learn. I heard about y' all this weekend. It was 404 day. There was some violence that happened. That is not okay. Y' all have too many things going on. Atlanta, y' all got that belt line out there. Y' all got sports events happening. Y' all need to be safe. Y' all need to, you know, be kind to each other, make space for each other. If you don't want to make space, stay home, you know, get in and get out. Atlanta, please.

[A]

What's 404 day?

[B]

April 4th.

[C]

So it represents the area code.

[B]

Yeah, let's say the area code for

[A]

atls got you also. They. They celebrate their area code day. We are so weird.

[B]

Look, you remember Atlanta? Atlanta is going to keep Atlanta ing. It don't matter what happened.

[A]

Crazy.

[C]

And it's fun. Like, it'd be all kind of concerts and it'd be all kind of.

[A]

I mean, I guess it's just any reason to get together, right? I'm not mad at that.

[B]

New York has all kinds of stuff. Just because it's New York. Right? Like Atlanta is one of those.

[A]

Do we have two and two days?

[C]

We should.

[B]

No, but y' all at least fashion night out, you know, like New York, we have like things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Atlanta gotta make its things, you know, it's like we not just more than pride.

[C]

What's that festival down in Little Italy that be cracking?

[A]

Oh, see, yeah. Yeah, that's my shit.

[B]

Sandra.

[A]

I just was there with Claude a

[C]

couple months back and see, it's one of the things that makes you really feel like a New Yorker. You know what I'm saying? That's a part of living here.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

I like being an ally at like the Dominican parade and the Puerto Rican Day parade. I go in allyship and I'll be feeling so seen.

[A]

I bet. I bet you be real seen.

[C]

So like, I love all that, you know. I love every test I get to support. I do. You know what I'm saying? I love it and I love it

[A]

and I love it. I bet. Asante, you have a black business that you would like to highlight this week?

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

Yes, I do. Can I just say I smell so good today. Michelle Feifer has a perfume line. Did y' all know that?

[C]

No, but go ahead. We, you know, we like Michelle Pfeiffer.

[A]

It's called Henry Rose. I did not know about it.

[B]

Business of the week.

[A]

No. Right. I'm just the smell. Because I just put it on today for the first time and I'm like, oh, I smell so nice. This is so nice. It's called Henry Rose. Did not know she had a perfume line. And she. And this is the perfume that she named after her husband. So it's just called Dave.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Which I think is so cute.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like a vanilla, but it has this citrusy scent to it. But then it's also really warm, has some spices. So it's like, it's just a little bit of. Everything is perfect for spring if you like, you know, a warmer vanilla. That it's just good.

[C]

It sounds like it smells really good.

[A]

I went to Sephora yesterday to buy some stuff and then I was like, oh, let me just test out perfumes. I'm always going to test out perfumes. And I smelled it and was like, I need that.

[B]

Can you get it?

[C]

The 3.2?

[A]

Oh, it has my office smelling so lovely. But anyways. Yes. Asante. You have a black business. A black one.

[B]

Well, hopefully it's not as black as Michelle Pfeiffer's. No, I'm just kidding. This one is local. A friend of mine actually went here and I was supposed to meet them there and I did not get a chance to, but they gave me

[C]

no.

[B]

But I'm going to suggest the spot that I was supposed to be at since I missed out. So you all don't have to. It's called Bird Pizzeria. It's out in Charlotte, North Carolina. They've been featured in New York Times back in 2024. People love pizza. Niggas do too. Enough to have a black owned business about it. I think that that's super fire. I love that there are black owned pizza spots everywhere. I remember the ones in New York, but I don't live in New York anymore. And apparently this was the place to be at. They had really cool events.

[C]

I'm just saying, y' all know, getting above your raisin.

[B]

Well, if you want to check out Bird Pizzeria, they are on social media as Erdpizzeria and you could just look them up if you're in Charlotte, check them out. Really cool. I like their aesthetic. I want. I have to go check them out. Again, I'm sorry that I missed out.

[C]

So is it B Y or B I?

[B]

It is not spelled in a nigga way. It is spelled just like the.

[C]

It could have been a last name by. I didn't know. I wanted to clear it up for the people.

[A]

Right. Oh, I'm gonna check that out.

[B]

California to the Mississippi deltas of the Pacific Northwest. The bounty of great pies has never been bigger. This was them featured on the New York Times. 22 of the best pizza places in the United States.

[C]

So shout out to think about that. The 22 best pizza joints in the United States. That is.

[B]

That's a lot of pizza.

[A]

Wait, Asante, send me that list, because if you can, because it was a

[B]

screenshot on the Instagram.

[A]

Oh, damn. I'll go find it. There's a pizza shop. That would be nice. There's a pizza shop out here that supposedly is, like, the top pizza shop in the country, and people travel from all over. And we. We were like, oh, let's check it out. Two hours. And I'm not a person that waits, but we were like, let's just, you know, do other stuff and then come back. It was very good. I don't know if it was two hours good, but it was very good. It's called Ken's Artisan Bakery, I believe. And really, like, fresh, amazing pizza. And then it's like the. The mixes, right? Like, they have, like, duck with, like, fennel. Yeah. It's just very elevated. But it's such great flavors we had. I mean, I thought it was worth it just because I love food and experiences. If you. If y' all check it out. But I was wondering where they landed on that list. That's why I was asking you, because I know it's supposed to be, like, a big.

[B]

Well, I did Google the list. Let me see if I can get

[A]

up Ken's Artisan Bakery.

[B]

I can't even get through the list. You know how New York Times do.

[C]

I gotta paywall? Yep.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, they gotta do what they gotta do.

[B]

Yeah, they got to do. I understand.

[C]

Y' all is the paper.

[A]

Thank you for that.

[B]

Check them out at bird pizzeria or birdpizzeria.com. they are on East 15th street down here in Charlotte City.

[A]

Let's. I can't. Let's jump into the recap segment. Last week's episode titled Everybody Getting Vels. Thank you, Dustin Ross. We had a lot to cover, and we buckled up as Dustin brought us up to speed by discussing all of the latest hot topics Those of you listening had a ball with that episode and had a lot to say about it. So who stood out to you?

[C]

The show description?

[B]

Oh, a lot of comments here in the Spotify streets. First comment I want to share is Michaela's. Michaela's comment reads, I'm a true crime listener and apparently Florida has what's called a Sunshine Law because we were talking about how Florida always got some crazy shit going on last week and even this week I think it was said, which basically allows news outlets to make details of crimes a public record. A lot of states have more restrictions, so we don't hear the craziness happening in those places, but always do in Florida. That being said, it's still an unhinged state. Yes, child, which is why we had probably mentioned this week something crazy happened in Florida. Another comment that I want to share. There are actually a few comments I hear that I want to share. I want to share this from Brandon Joy. Shout out to you Brandon Joy. Brandon Joy's comment reads asante. Have you heard of the show Damascus? It's about a 33 year old black man who explores other versions of his life through AI therapy. It reminds me of the Midnight Library and randomly stars Martin Lawrence and Janet Hubert. Well Brandon, I'm so glad you asked because we actually read the Midnight Library for the situation and we watched Damascus for the binge. So for those of you that want to check out that, check that out. Check us out over on patreon.com the Friendzonepodcast for our premium content. Whether it's a commercial free video version of this show or those shows that I just discussed with you or our live that we do every month at the last Wednesday of every month. So shout out to you Brandon.

[A]

We had fun with that with that show too. We definitely such a good concept.

[B]

Yeah, Damascus was a really, really good show. Shout out to Damascus and everybody over there, they need another season. If you got money and you're trying to make something happen, do that. Another comment that I wanted to read. Damn. Oh, shout out to Jazzy. Jazzy's comment says OMG Dustin. I thought of Chili's response to that girl saying that they look alike too. It was so nasty and I never looked at her the same since.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

Yep. Told you Chili. Lying ass liking all them Byron Donald's posts and shit. You knew exactly what your ass was doing. Liar. I am. I was stuck from a chuttabada. That's why they had tweeted the TLC account. Had tweeted what song? I politely slid that video. Oh, my God. I will vote. I will vote for Donald Trump. That's what y' all gotta perform now. That's what I song I want to

[B]

see with maracas would be crazy. Last comment that I want to share since we're in that arena a little bit. JTG's comment reads. So Big Boi is being labeled as a Trump supporter because he followed Trump. He also follows Obama, Biden and several other politicians. He also follows news outlets like Al Jazeera and other independent journalists labeling him a supporter. And MAGA because he follows Trump is lazy. A social media follow isn't enough to label him MAGA or a supporter of Trump.

[C]

Thank you so much. I can't believe we got that wrong. I am so forever changed in life because you sent that comment and that really impacted me and changed my thinking on this. Wow. The world is different now because you sent that comment. That has changed everything for all of us. We see it so differently. And I am made new because of your comments.

[B]

With that said, there are levels to what it means to support, right? So even on the base level, him following can be a supporter. It doesn't mean. First of all, Chili didn't have to be blasted. She blasted her damn self by lying. So it's like we didn't cancel her. We just read her. We made fun of her because she supports maybe on a bigger scale because we saw those donations. Big boy can get it too, because he follows just someone with Trump supporter.

[C]

I rather just do that. You should have just sent a picture of yourself with the hat on. You know what I'm saying? That's what you own type. Well, he don't need no defense. He don't even know you. He don't need you to have his back. He can explain what himself what that means. You guessing just like we are. So you just as wrong as we are, right?

[B]

Literally. That last comment I want to share is from Dexter L. Rogers because we had a comment. We had a comment.

[C]

No, I'm just playing.

[B]

I knew your ass gonna do that. We had a con surrounding the conversation around Brandon getting her star last week. Dexter's response was, surprisingly, Prince does does not have a star on the Hollywood Hill, Hollywood Walk of Fame yet. He was asked twice and declined both times.

[C]

That is damn the very princess.

[A]

It is right? That's what I said.

[B]

Yes, that is. That's it over here, friend. What? What else other than the comment that I just stole from you, did you find out there in those streets?

[A]

Well, no, it wasn't the same comment, but it was a comment saying a similar thing. Tyisha on Twitter said, Prince doesn't have a star. He declined it while alive, but he does have a star in Minneapolis outside of First Avenue, where he frequently performed. I looked it up too, because I was like, does he really not have a star? That's so crazy. And I found an article that had a quote from Ana Martinez, who apparently is a producer of the Walk of Fame ceremony, and she said that Prince was on her wish list since forever. She approached him twice. He declined twice and said it just wasn't the right time. That's what he kept telling her, man. Which is devastating because I'm like, prince, why did you feel it wasn't the right time?

[C]

But yes, how you think he said it? It's not the right time. Not right, no.

[A]

And since you mentioned Brandy and we also mentioned Patreon, I wanted to let our listeners know that our next book is actually going to be Brandy Phases, a memoir. Such a pretty cover.

[C]

Beautiful, Brandi.

[B]

Beautiful. Yes.

[A]

Cover. So we are gonna read it. We're not starting next week, but we are starting the week after next. We're very excited about that.

[C]

So go get it.

[A]

This is our, what, third memoir? No, fourth memoir. Because we did read Corinne Stephans. Thank you, Dustin Ross. And so, yes, very excited. Very excited to dig in and get some music history up in here.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I can't wait. I'm so excited.

[A]

I'm actually really excited. And we got a bunch of comments from our listeners being like, I hope y' all are doing Brandy. So that made me happy because I felt like we're gonna give. Give the people what they want.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Victoria. Oh, no, that's not the right comment. Excuse me. You said what?

[C]

That's our job. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Literally right. Jamal Shaquille on Patreon said. So glad these social media companies are finally being held to account. Yes, users choose to use the platform. However, the affordances, the features, the algorithm, the push notifications of each platform limits our actual agency and dictates how we use it. Meta and co intentionally designed their apps to get people addicted and essentially give people adhd, among other disorders, all because of capitalism. And all this via ads and data mining. We're tired. Once upon a time, I wrote my dissertation on tech pervasiveness and the impact on human identity. So I can yap on this for days. Thank you, Jamal Shaquille. Lastly, Danielle P. Said unpopular opinion, but I truly think the administration set Christie up, which of course, is well deserved. But I just feel like this was her payback. And I do think AI was involved either way. I agree with you, Dustin. She still tormented the under marginalized communities and deserves all the smoke. Now, I don't know that I feel AI was involved. Who knows? We don't know nowadays, right? Everything is fake or not fake. Hard to tell. But I do agree. I'd mentioned it last week that I 100 feel she was set up by the government.

[C]

Me too. And good for her because, well, you lay.

[A]

What do they say? You lay down with dogs.

[C]

You get up. Yeah. And you know what else? Somebody had to sign for that box of titties, so.

[B]

Oh my God, you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Titties don't just make their money.

[A]

Amazon just sent.

[C]

Somebody had to sign for that and they. That was a huge bosom that he had. Did you see that? You can't really package that. You can't vacuum seal that. You know what I'm saying? That's gotta be in a box to allow it to. You know what I'm saying? Exists in that way. So somebody signed for them titties in the gnome household.

[A]

God damn it, Dustin Ross. What'd you find in those Twitter streets?

[C]

So I just have one thing that I found that Lord forgive me ahead of time. And it is what it is. It made me laugh. So the Twitter account Passion Weiss P A S S I O N W E I S S tweeted Chaka Khan and Miles Davis covering Human Nature by Michael Jackson live at the Montreux Jazz Festival, 1989. So when I saw that, I was so excited and like, just like, oh, my God, like, this is probably gonna be like a fever dream for me. You know what I'm saying? Human Nature is one of my favorite songs. It's fucking Davis and Shaka Khan. I'm like, yo, like, put this in me, my veins. You know what I'm saying? I was so excited. I also had just smoked, okay.

[A]

So I'm sure they did too.

[C]

So when I heard their rendition of Human Nature, I was like, I want to share. I want to share it with y', all, because this had me up.

[B]

Listen to this.

[A]

This.

[C]

Okay, okay, like, wow, a few things. Number one, that. Number two. Number two, Shaka Khan was just in the headlines were talking about Mary J. Blige singing Sweet Thing off key, asking her what times did she cut the record. And yes, she did. And then Mary just told a story that she did not name names. She kept it anonymous and vague, but she said that a singer that she met her and told her she was flat and all this other stuff. So for me to then see this. And I ain't disrespecting Shaka Khan because Shaka been kind. We ain't even gonna play with her.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[C]

That's Shaka Khan. However, that was Shaka Khan.

[B]

For you to be sitting up here

[C]

talking and they go, That ain't even how human nature go.

[A]

I would have paid to see if.

[C]

I sent that to my cousin so fast when I tell you I was like, y be on myself the way

[B]

she

[C]

at the Montro Jazz Festival. And now, please, I ain't trying to talk about nobody that's doing.

[A]

What year was that?

[C]

1980 and 9. Now, utmost respect to Miles Davis, but you know how he be looking when he blow that horn, you know what I'm saying? So the combination of Shaka and those, those, those scattered vocals. Scattered vocals and then Miles David going down on that horn like that. Yo, I, I when I tell you, I was inconsolable. So I just want to share that

[A]

I really needed that

[C]

in the carousel.

[B]

That's it for me this week.

[A]

Do y' all have any announcements, anything you want to let our listeners know before we jump into this week's episode?

[C]

Actually, I do have an announcement. Atlanta. I will be in Atlanta on April 15 moderating a panel for the wonderful organization Counterculture. I've worked with them several times. It's the nonprofit extension of the deviant brand doing the people's work. I'm moderating a panel featuring Chanel Rose King, David Ashley Cobb, Everton Blair, Jalanda Jones, state representative from Texas, and Carl Baloney Jr. The president and CEO of AIDS United. We're going to talk our talk. You can actually, I'm going to put the link in my bio. It'll be up for the next couple of days because it's a free rsvp, so free tickets. Come on out, Atlanta. I can't wait to see everybody's face while we talk that talk. Very sex positive. We're going to be encouraging people to get signed up for prep to take care themselves in that way. We are partnered with Gilead for this event. So, yeah, really appreciative of that sponsorship. And I'll see y' all in atl. Ho. And I do mean ho. If you sex positive, pull up, be a part of the conversation. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Nice.

[B]

For real.

[C]

For real. You know, it might have been 404 a day, but now I want the 304s to come our way.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Talk about it. So yeah, see y' all in Atlanta on April 15th.

[A]

Yeah, I'll be in Atlanta this weekend. I'm excited. I haven't been there in a minute. Right? Not excited about the travel part, but Lord willing, right? Anything else, guys? All right, let's jump into this week's episode. So y' all know there was a time where finding a product for your natural hair, for your curls, your coils, was almost impossible. Now, however, thanks to the YouTube OGs shout out to everyone. We had fun. You can find a product everywhere you go. It's amazing. For every texture, every hair length, porosity, you got it. You'll find it. The most exciting thing is that now we're working with Bask and Lather. And Bask and Lather is hair care that started with family love. When a dermatologist misdiagnosed CEO Shayna's younger sister and said her hair may never grow back, the family decided to take things into their own hands. Shayna and her mother researched and formulated their own Scalp and Hair oil to stimulate growth and retain length. Today, her hair is down to her hips and Baskin Lather's Hydrating Hair Mask combines aloe vera and avocado oil to reduce frizz, treat dryness, detangle and redefine your curls. And their stimulating Scalp and Hair Balm nourishes and hydrates hair from the inside out with 100% natural ingredients. Y' all know I love that part that can penetrate hair strands without clogging pores when used regularly. Users have seen results in about three months. Explore the viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from Baskin Lathers. Just go to baskinlather co.com and use code friendzone for 20% off. Yes, that's 20% [e-mail] code friend spring

[C]

testing is around the corner. Projects are picking up and the push toward the end of the year is officially on y'. All. IXL helps kids stay confident and prepared during this important stretch. IXL is an award winning online learning platform for Pre K through 12th grade with personalized interactive lessons in math, reading, writing and science that adapt to each child's level and pace. Now this is proven in all 50 states to improve grades. Students who use IXL score higher on tests. IXL is in fact used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. we have actually tested this. I know I'll speak for myself. I'm very close with My family. You guys know that I've had my family on the show before and there's young school age children in my family as well. We've used IXL to help them and has been the perfect benefit and supplement to their education. My little cousins, they need to have their key skills review before they go up for state testing. We know how critically important that is to their success in higher education. So IXL is really a useful tool and you can make an impact on your child's learning. And you can get IXL now. And the Friend Zone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com friendzone visit I x l.com friendzone to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price, day or night.

[A]

VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either. This week's episode is an Asante production. We're going in cold. We have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. What are we talking about this week, Asante?

[B]

Well, this week we are talking about one of my favorite things, and that is life. Okay, I just want us to talk about what happens when you do everything that you were taught to do. But life doesn't just feel as clear as it was supposed to. Does it ever get clearer? What is it supposed to clear up and look like? What were we taught? Okay, from the timelines that we were raised on to the reality of today. Has the definition of success changed or are we just figuring it out in real time? I had to map my thoughts out because y' all know I like to get crazy. I just want to have a little conversation about life. Y' all know I bought this car, so I feel like I'm at this state where I'm like, I'm a car person. So all I want to talk about is my car. It's like when you move, you're like, oh, I'm a new city person. So, like, this is my new city city person. I am a city person. I don't remember what that was from, but I remember it was.

[C]

Speaking of city people, did you see JT saying this? The meal Jesus should have had after he got beat up up when she made her Easter meal. Did you see that, jt? JT posted her Easter meal. And the food looks straight on. She's like, see this? What they should have gave Jesus after he got beat up like that. She's like, he should have had this or whatever. And then the next day, after, people. Of course, you know, they do. She got online talking about Jesus did get beat up. She was like. And it really bothered me because he went through a lot for us. She was like, and if you. All you got to do is watch the Passion of the Christ, you see, they really beat him up. She's like, so he should have had a real meal. She's like, and tequila.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's what she said JT did.

[C]

Speaking to city people. But go on. Life, yes.

[A]

Life, yes.

[C]

Soy chili Mega. Go ahead.

[A]

Oh, he's never gonna start.

[C]

Come on, man. We breaking your eyes, brother. Come on.

[B]

Okay. I feel like a lot of us did everything we were supposed to do, which includes me trying to get through this episode that I have so eloquently put together before someone decided they wanted to distract me.

[C]

I could tell by the part when you was like, or is it through the realities of today? I was like, oh, this nigga was okay. He was pushing that pen.

[B]

Yeah. You know, writing is very, like, it just organized. I just feel like an adult after I do it. And so then as I was writing, I was like, this just feels so grown. And I was like, like, wait a minute. I should talk about being grown. And I was like, damn, they already got a show about that. It's called getting grown. And then I was just like, well, we could talk about life. So tried to get you off of your track, and now I'm off my own. I want to know about our lives. We've lived this life. We've lived our lives for the ages, that we've lived them so far. But I kind of want to talk about our path, so how we got here. I feel like when you're young, you just know that you're supposed to go to school, do your work. You know, as you get into your 20s, there's a list of priorities that you're given. 30s, and, you know, you're giving priorities and expectations and how you meet those. So, you know, for me to say at my very big age, I just got my first car. You know, for some people, they're like, I got my first. You know, I bought my first car when I was, you know, 22 or 25, so.

[C]

Bitch,

[B]

no. No one. No one did that.

[C]

I'm just saying I hate stuff like that.

[B]

I mean, yeah, but also, people do experience things at different times, and it's. It's not that, you know, one is better than the other. Like, I actually feel like it was good that I was able to be an adult and have done it myself. So I had to do the research. It's all on me, and I got what I wanted versus me having to rely on someone else and them spending. So I have to be at their mercy to get what they want. You know, any of those other factors could have been at play for anybody. Right. But that's the cool thing about life, is choose your own adventure. But basically, I. I did something. I wanted it, but I also did something more so that made sense. Like, as I was doing my research to get this car, which is kind of part of this through line here. Right. The basis of this episode was I got my car. But also the basic basis of this episode was paradise. But we'll get there when we get there, because, Fran, I watched it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We'll talk about that. But I feel like a lot of us did everything that we were supposed to do. And I just want to know from you, just a small example, what's something that you did because it made sense, not because you deeply chose to go to college? That's a good one. That's a real good one.

[A]

I felt pressured. Not some. I wouldn't even put that on my mom. I know she really wanted me to go to college, but that's part.

[B]

That is part of it.

[A]

Yeah. She never said, like, you know, I never had, like, an ultimatum. She didn't put it that way. But.

[C]

But you knew, especially when you're the

[A]

child of an immigrant, especially it's this feeling of, they came here so you can do this. They literally walked away from everyone and everything they knew to give you this opportunity. And so I felt like, even though I wasn't necessarily interested in going, I also was someone that had just always kind of followed the pattern that you're supposed to write. Like, you try to get in all the top schools, and you go to a good college, and you try to get a good job, and.

[B]

And you're doing those. They made sense.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you follow the formula, but I didn't find myself feeling satisfied or fulfilled by any of those choices. And then when I decided to just take a leap of faith and do what I wanted to do, I mean, it panned out pretty great in a way where I would never have been able to plan this, because this was uncharted territory at the time, what I was doing on Tumblr and YouTube and with podcasting, you know what I mean? It's like, like we were carving the way as we were on it, which is pretty interesting to be like building a road that you're also walking on simultaneously. So really cool. And I'm thankful for it because now it's a full out industry, you know, and now people don't have to make it. They just have to like, decide that this is what they want to do. And so I'm proud of that part. But. But yeah, college, and I do, and I will say this, I learned a lot in college and I'm grateful that I went. I don't think it was a bad decision financially. That's the only part that's like different conversation. Huh? But when I consider the life skills I learned in college, right, like how you have to decide your schedule, you have to stay on top of your schedule, you have to make sure you get up, up, you have to make sure you do all those exams, but you're also being social. It teaches you a lot about juggling life in a way that I don't think any other 18 year old is going to figure out. Unless, you know, I shouldn't even say that though, because there are people that don't go to college and they jump into working, you know, and their life moves at a very different pace. But the life skills, the critical thinking, there's just a lot that you gain. The social aspect from college that I do appreciate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm so glad you even said that little piece right in there too, friend, about like, you know, people that jump into work because it's like college kind of taught you how to take care of yourself one way. But certain people that like skipped college, like myself and went right into working, I had to learn how to take care. Like I had to learn how to socialize with adults quicker and on a regular basis.

[A]

You went into the life like the life skills much faster, I believe. Yeah.

[B]

But I feel like you are able to like go into work clearer, you know, versus someone that's kind of like learning their footing like you already are, like, all right. Like, you know, I went into college, I had to deal with something uncomfortable and like learn that system. Now, like when I start new jobs, I can like going uncomfortable and learn new systems. Whereas some people, they're like, all right, I didn't go to college not to go and learn this new system. This is, I can't do it. I'm not Doing it, it's like, well, you got to do something like, you know. Yeah, but I'm glad you even made that little short piece because it different doesn't mean bad. Either way. It's like, either way you've made it somehow. So that's cool. What about you, Dustin? Can you think of something that you did because it made sense, not because you deeply chose it?

[C]

Prostitution? No, I'm just playing. I'm just playing. Sticking it out as long as I did in the religion that my parents are a part of. For the reason of being uncertain about everything that was related to my life in the moment. When you're raised in a very strict, very unique religious environment, you are separated from everybody else and everything else in the world, friends, family. You're discouraged to make real connections with people who are not of the same faith. And all of those things can really restrict you socially, personally, professionally. You're discouraged from pursuing education and anything related to the future because your belief is that there's going to be an Armageddon event that takes place. And so all those efforts would be futile. You're encouraged to be socialized just within that organization. And so leaving it, abandoning it is a big deal. I'll just put it like that to make it simple. It's a huge deal. It affects your salvation, your faith, your family, your relationships. You're shunned. It's a lot of shit that comes along with that that is very daunting and burdensome for an adolescent mind when you should be focused on simply living, learning, experiencing things that you can comprehend. You're forced to think beyond what, what the normal comprehension level is for your age. You're considering themes and ideas that are really big and really feel like you are literally being judged for the choices that you make on a life or death basis. And so it's a whole lot, you know what I'm saying? And it took a minute for that transition to happen. It affected a lot of my personal choices. And I really don't talk a lot about it. Cause it's deeply personal for me and it affects a lot of other people that I love and respect. So I kind of just keep it cool when it comes to that shit. But speaking honestly, like, that is a. That was a big moment in my life as far as like something being, character, defining something that really teaches you because you got to figure everything out on your own. Everything you got to figure out, you got to survive out this. You know what I'm saying? And then I've always had like the Support of my family, you know what I'm saying? That were not a part of that. So it wasn't like I was just out here in the world and shit. But you know, you got to figure things out for yourself. And so it takes a lot and it affects a lot of things. And it is an all encompassing thing. It's every part of your life because it's everything you knew up until that point. And so that's what I would say. I didn't do that shit for me. And there were things that I was able to glean and learn from it and take with me. I'm a great communicator because I was knocking on doors with my little fist and a little tie, had a little Bible and not hello, you know, how do you feel about salvation seven, you

[B]

know what I'm saying?

[C]

And I could do that learning the formalities of public speaking at an early age, you know what I'm saying? That prepared me for some of the shit I do now. So if I look at it and try to mine positive things, those are some of the things that I could come up with. But there is another conversation that goes along with that about some things that's not so fun to talk about, you know what I'm saying? I try to do my best with that, with reverence and respect to some people I know that just did the best they could do, you know what I'm saying? And although I might not have made those choices, those were the choices that were made. And I try to respect that and you know, live in a way that reflects me being given good principles and a good foundation, you know what I mean? That I've been able to interpret my own way and understand faith in my own much more scholarly way, you know what I'm saying? As opposed to a restricted narrow lens that is absolute without question, you know what I'm saying? I asked questions and learned and appreciated different approaches to the same heartbeat, which is faith and love. So just. This has been a different walk for me. That's why I don't take no. Because I've been through. So you.

[B]

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[C]

That's what I'll be on for real. Like if you. If you're not with this, you know what I'm saying, then you. That's how I really honestly feel. Because I know what it's like. I know what it's like to be othered. Always have. And so I've always had a very empathetic energy and spirit about me. I Love really hard. And I appreciate because I was denied outside friendships and outside relationships. I have the utmost appreciation for friendship. I try my best to be a good friend to my people. You know what I'm saying? Let people I know that I fuck with, know that I fuck with them. You know what I'm saying? On that level, those things are important to me, and it's all relative to that. So after lots of years of therapy, lots of study, lots of learning, lots of unlearning, this is where I am with all of that today.

[B]

That's beautiful, Dustin. You said a lot of amazing things, like being a young child, dealing with adults and being at the mercy of adults, controlling your life. It's crazy to think about where you were then. And you know, Fran, even where you were before college, going into college, you know, preparing yourself for the world to where we all are now. Like, for me, when I was in school, I remember I was doing performing arts in school, and I just always had personality. So I just naturally, I just started working customer service jobs, and I just was great at customer service, from call centers to restaurants. Like, I just was always doing my thing, talking to people and. And it didn't matter which job I was working. I was always meeting people, wanting to hang out, being very social. And I realized that for some people, a lot of people were like, I'm not social at work. Like, as I got older, I realized it wasn't necessarily a normal thing to

[C]

be so social at work before 11:00am no, after 11. And we could talk and laugh, but,

[B]

like, I've never been a morning person, so, like, that's just not so, like,

[A]

you need to thaw out, right?

[C]

And I'm a breakfast person. Y' all know I have to have my breakfast even in the morning.

[B]

In the morning you come into work, I was. I was real just like, good morning. Like, you know, either you hear me or you don't. Either I heard you or I didn't. But we real cool around lunchtime. Everybody real good.

[C]

You were social at work. On my mama, even. You was even nice to that lady in the pink blazer. And I stand her ass. You was nice to her, I hate.

[B]

Meanwhile, she was the. She was the best. She was the best one.

[C]

I was like, she. She tell on him. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

But just because we were prepared, just. It doesn't necessarily mean that we were navigated. We weren't given some sort of roadmap. We kind of had to figure these things out on our own. Well, we kind of Had. We did have to figure these things out on our own because look. Look at where we're at now. We didn't. I don't think any of us were thinking about doing this show while we were younger. Right. We ended up here and we've been doing it and it's great. Like, yeah, it's amazing. We didn't know what we were doing when we were doing it, so to have been doing it for so long, it's so amazing. But part of what I was thinking about when I was on this episode was how we have new people or listeners that are newer and fresher. So I wanted to make sure, like a point of reference kind of of how we got here without doing like, the clip show of, like, this is how we all got here. So I just want to give people, like, small insights of our lives, maybe like a flashback of sorts of. Not to feel like you know us, but so you can relate to us. Because I'm sure everybody out there listening has been through things.

[C]

I think about what business I feel like telling.

[B]

Yeah, it really is going to be that. Just because I. Y' all know I don't tell a lot of my business, but I still try to share none. I share. I shared. I got. I shared. I got a new car. Oh, that's business.

[C]

What a what a wide door into your life?

[B]

Yeah, a car door. It's a compact suv. That's real specific. Because I feel like New York was one of those places where everybody was able to do whatever the they wanted. It was just kind of easier and not in an easy way. It was easier just because nobody, you know, everybody was tired and had to do shit. But it was easier to be yourself and figure out. Figure out whether you were good at shit or bad at shit. Whereas in other cities, it's kind of harder to. To find things, be passionate about things. Just really.

[C]

Because in other cities there's a lot less contact with others. Right. In other cities, where you drive in from wherever you're going, into your garage, into your home that's occupied by you and your loved ones. If. So, you know what I'm saying? In New York City, it's totally different. You on the block, shoulder to shoulder with every day that are completely different. Different from you. And so people here are far more tolerable in a way. Far more. It's just a different sense of.

[A]

It's a different level of awareness of

[C]

the world around than anywhere I have ever been anywhere.

[B]

So with that, I had to kind of take my step out and now that I've reentered the, you know, I don't want to say the regular world, but New York is just his own. Like when people say there's no other place like New York, they're really. There literally just isn't. So I feel like the New York timeline is completely different from other people's timelines. So even talking about getting my license at this, at this age where people are like, oh, I've had mine since whatever age. Which is cool because I did have mine at that age too. But there's other parts of the story of my business that I will leave out of that.

[C]

Hit it, Ciara.

[A]

So what?

[B]

So what?

[C]

So what? Why can't you. This is. We're talking about what happened to you. It's okay for you.

[B]

I want to share our experiences though, because people don't realize that there are different, like different strokes for different folks. Like, and it doesn't mean that anybody is doing like I want people to just.

[C]

I've had my own car since I was 16 years old. Been getting new cars and shit. I don't have to say that when you talk to me about getting your car and being excited. You know what I'm saying? I'm not even thinking about that. I can't stand a. I did it first ass bitch. You know what I'm saying? I can't stand that. Like, let people have their moment. And not in a way where you're being patronizing, but like, I'm really happy. I don't know you happy about that shit. I'm happy for you, my nigga. Like, it ain't about when I did it. I can't stand a bitch to do shit like that.

[B]

Well, this is just more so about how things can. You're set up for different things at different points in your life, right? Like for some people, they experience things when they're younger. And then some people, they have like that new experience or experience again in their adulthood. Like even in your 50s, 60s when you re experience like or is a hard on precisely. Or maybe a career change and you know, you have to find your footing all over again, I guess with the heart on as well.

[C]

Yeah, that'll you up, man.

[A]

Or not.

[C]

I remember.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

Friend.

[B]

Friend. Hey, friend. Did he wash his hands? No, I'm kidding. All of this to say older generations, they didn't have. They didn't have this version of life, right? They just, they were doing their thing. Robots wasn't coming out. We're not pivoting to AI precisely You

[C]

could walk up to the gate at the plane. I remember that's how old I am. I remember TSA before 9 11. I remember going to the airport before 9. 11. 11.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All the way to the gate.

[C]

All the way to the gate.

[A]

You could wave at the plane window. Yeah.

[B]

Nope.

[C]

We've lived through so much. Think about all this.

[A]

Or buying tickets. Do you remember you could buy tickets at the airport? Go up to the gate.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So crazy to think about the gate

[B]

agent is where you bought the ticket.

[C]

Crazy to think not just because you

[B]

had already gone through all of that, but even that. Like, even something as simple as. And I always go back to this because it's like, no, I'm not going to bring up the gps. The. The phone. The telephone. Right. We'll upgrade to the cell phone. People are so FaceTime heavy because I've been having conversations with people to see if am I different. And I brought this up on the show before, but I just. It keeps happening to me in life. I meet FaceTime only people. And that's just so. It's. I don't know why they still like with me edgy. And they don't. They don't even. They don't even like the concept. I've actually had this conversation. It's like a. Like, let's actually like, talk about this. Do you talk on the phone? And they're like. I mean, like, if I have to. But I don't really talk to people I care. Like, I don't talk to people on the phone. Like, the phone is for. If I gotta like, call somebody, customer service or something, not to actually talk to somebody I want to talk to. And I just think that's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. My partner is like, that he. He'll FaceTime before he calls. And I hate it.

[C]

A lot of people are like, everybody. For me, it's case specific because everybody don't like to FaceTime. You know what I'm saying? It just depends on what you. Exactly. If I need to get in touch with you, friend. I know how to get in touch with you.

[A]

But it's weird because we'll FaceTime and

[C]

it's not weird because it's case specific. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Like, you're gonna be like, we're gonna. Because we. We've spent a lot of FaceTime today.

[A]

Maybe that's why it is. I see you guys every week and so FaceTiming doesn't feel.

[C]

It feels natural, but that we also know not to wid you with a FaceTime you know what I'm saying?

[B]

We're not gonna face it.

[C]

Whereas different Jay will facetime me and just look at the phone.

[A]

You.

[C]

You know what I'm saying? Like, we just, like, for literally nothing should just start cussing me out as soon as I. As we talk. Talk the majority of our conversation. I don't think we ever talk on the phone. We always FaceTime.

[A]

That's J2.

[C]

But it's other people I talk to. You know what I'm saying? It just depends on the person.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense. See, it makes sense when it makes sense.

[C]

Case specific, comfort level is important because FaceTiming is letting people into your space in a way that you got to be on that level.

[B]

And also, I'm glad you brought Jade up, because Jade is a great example of a positive. No.

[C]

What?

[B]

Because I know. I'm sorry.

[C]

Slim pickings.

[B]

No, but she literally is like, a positive definition for an example of, like, a facetimer. Like, Jade is someone that you greatly can experience via FaceTime. It's like, I would only, like, I only want to FaceTime Jade because she's someone.

[C]

Facial expressions and stuff.

[B]

But also that comes with knowing Jade. That also comes with knowing Jade. So I feel like, oh, that's a cheat. Like, imagine you meet somebody and it's like, oh, y' all are cool. Y' all getting to know each other. Other. But instead of, like, you know, I've gotten used to. We're texting to get to know each other. But, like, imagine your first interaction with them after exchanging numbers is FaceTime. You're like, oh, we face. And. And then every exchange after that, you know, they only FaceTime. You, like, you're like, are we.

[C]

Like, we don't set the boundary in a general way. Like, you know, I'll be trying to.

[B]

Sometimes it becomes like, do you even battle this? Like, well, that's.

[A]

I think if you like them enough. But I think if you said it

[C]

right, I was gonna say it different. You said it right, friend.

[A]

Yeah, if you like them enough, it's like, if that's their thing, you know? Like, with my partner, he was always FaceTiming me, and I was like, okay, he likes to FaceTime. I like him. So I don't mind it. It's just that.

[B]

So this is not a word to be like, I like you, but I'm still not gonna FaceTime.

[A]

Well, yeah, especially if you like them even before they're your partner. There's some things that I'm willing to be like, let me weird about it. Yeah, it's not a big deal. It's a FaceTime like relax.

[B]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you ugly, forget about it.

[B]

Look, I'm ugly. Don't FaceTime.

[C]

I'll be answering like this. Hello. How you do? How you been?

[B]

FaceTime. How could they have known anyway? Because the older generations, they didn't have this version of life. All they did did, you know, they were liv. I realized they were living their life off of vibes as well. You know, they had that map of, you know, whatever it looked like for kids, career, life, and they lived it. And they, they did. They raised us the best they could as well. So, friend, when you mentioned earlier, it's not that your mom was forcing you to go to college, but you know, heavy on the suggestion and yes, it

[A]

was a helpful experience.

[B]

Yeah. You know, Dustin, some of your experiences, I'm sure, or maybe we're not as favorable as you would have liked, but I'm sure that you are in a place and just for anybody listening without making. I'm sure we've all had experiences that maybe we didn't see the benefit of it then, or we weren't even trying to hear that at all. And maybe it didn't even give us what they was trying to get from or get us to get from it. We just got our own thing from it. Right. But either which way we all overcame game and we did our thing. Hey, but you know, but I wondered, were people, like, where was our generation? Were they just more certain in what they were doing than we were or were they just dealing with less, you know, because we have. Well, because we have this social media and all this stuff, you know, but

[C]

they didn't know they were missing anything.

[A]

What do you mean? If they were more certain in what? Regardless.

[B]

So as far as this, like, you know, not having the roadmap and just following whatever they felt like was like, all right, you know, this is what I'm supposed to do. Like how certain people. Bad example, but salacious on married to medicine, king and quad having their baby and Curtis not agreeing with that life choice. Curtis being like, you know, why didn't you guys, why don't you guys work on getting married before having a child? You know, why don't you guys take care of that? You know, what made him so certain that that was the right thing to do? You know, from him, from his point of his. His perspective, that's what he was taught. But also he is married, even though, you know, no shade. Curtis ain't got no kids. But what makes him Think that that's right? Do you think that he just thinks that that's right because, you know, he has his marriage and he's in his, you know, his space.

[C]

Because it's all relative, right. He does have a child though, to be clear. He does kid. Yeah, but Dr. Jackie doesn't have children. But, but Curtis's sanctimony is holier than how more, more old, you know, superiority is played out. It is relative to being told that there's a right way and a right, a proper order in things taking place right. In a person's life relative to the choices that they're making. Taking. But that's, it's actually a perfect example because that rhetoric does not apply to the average, you know, adult today. You know what I'm saying? People have relaxed when it comes to their view on premarital sex, on having children out of wedlock, you know what I'm saying? The station in life of motherhood or fatherhood or parenthood. What's a few non binary. What your kids call you

[A]

by your name.

[C]

You.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Hey, I love you. I just would hug my parent. You know what I'm saying? I'll just hug them.

[A]

Hey, hey, you.

[C]

You know, but yes, anyway, the person playing that role like that is what is respected and revered today as opposed to whether or not that person is in a legal marriage. It's just simply not current. You know what I'm saying? So that was actually a perfect example, especially him because he's a hypocr. Hypocrite. He cheated on Dr. Jackie in public and was sitting out with a whole woman, which typically that's not the only time that that happens. Especially when you cheating so boldly and being out in public with a woman like that, that is usually reflective of a pattern.

[A]

Usually, absolutely. That's a comfort, right?

[C]

So to me, you don't get to cherry pick the moral clauses in the Bible that are important and you need to stand by and for your life to work out and, and you can do what you want to do because your dick gets hard. That don't line up, you know what I'm saying? So he was actually a perfect example of why being told that there is that this is how life goes, no matter what external factors impact your environment, you got to do it this way. That was a great example of why that doesn't work. It fails every time. And you have to adapt your moral compass to your life circumstances and figure it out that way.

[A]

I think it has a lot too to do with circumstance, opportunity, I mean, there's so many factors I think of, like the fact that women couldn't even open bank accounts without a man. So of course you're gonna get married.

[B]

And that was recent.

[C]

That wasn't even.

[A]

Right. What was that, like, the 70s or something? It wasn't even that, you know, so of course you're gonna get. You're gonna feel more inclined to get married because there's a rigidity there. It's like a this or that. And once that changed, it's like, oh, I don't have to do this thing in order to have a bank account and have a job and, you know, be able to make my own living. Those opportunities changed your circumstance, I think, too. Luck plays a big part of it too, right? I think of. Of in my building where I grew up, we all saw the same trajectories, right. There wasn't very many options. I got lucky by that teacher that, for whatever reason, by the grace of God, recognized. Told my mom. Yeah, recognized something in me where he felt that I could do something different. And he put me in position. It was a guy.

[C]

All these years, I've been thinking that was a woman.

[B]

I did think that was a woman too, ain't they? Wow.

[C]

Friend didn't just fuck me.

[A]

I mean, it was. It was a woman that he was friends with who got me the interview at the school. So maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. But it was.

[B]

I think I did always just assume.

[C]

I thought it was a woman that

[A]

was like, girl, you know? No, you know what? It was a gay Puerto Rican teacher.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yep. I'll never forget.

[C]

Duh. Why did we. Now, this is what I mean about gay people. People being on it. They always say, you go, the girl, the gays, the girls, the public. You know what I'm saying? And that's the order of fandom. And look, now, he.

[B]

He did know.

[C]

He did prepare you, man. I'm telling you.

[A]

And I remember he. He just thought. He just thought. He just had so much love for me and was like, I just want to see you make it, you know? And. And he got me the interview at the private school, and I was able to start private school in sixth grade. And that changed my life, obviously, because if I'm going to my local school and then living in this one building and your life just isn't a grid, right? You go from here to here to here to here. Now, he allowed a door to open outside of that grid, which allowed a door to open outside of my circumstance. And my capabilities and opportunities and it just like brought this limitless, limitless, limitlessness to my life. And when I go back now, I mean, I haven't been to my building in a long time, but when before my mom had moved out. Is the same people on the same bench, you know, and I, and, and that was so eye opening for me because these are people I grew up with that are on the same, in the same position. And it's, it's, I guess survivor's remorse is what they call it because you're like, it was that opportunity. I don't know what my life, life could have been. Maybe I still would have made it. I really don't know. I can't speak on it. But that one opportunity changed so much. And it sucks that like everyone can't have those moments, you know? So access, that's what I mean. Like, access really does change the rigidity that people have created for us. And it can be frustrating sometimes when I think about it, but that's the reality of it, right? Even someone like a Curtis, I can when I see someone that rigid, because even his body, right, his body is rigid. Like you can see rigidity all over him, the way he walks, the way he thinks.

[C]

So he's like a fold, a big ass folding chair.

[A]

I remember there was a yoga poster I had that said stiff body, stiff mind. You know, it's like it's all connected.

[C]

That was a yoga read. I ain't never heard no chicken like that was a yoga referral.

[A]

But the way he walks, like to me it's like no surprise. And I can only think of his parents, his grandparents, his parents. That's just a very heavy program. Ingrained, that is so deeply ingrained that he has not been able to like break out of that. So yeah, so many factors. So many factors.

[B]

See, that's the funny thing. As you're getting older, you do realize that there is, is that there are other things happening, right? So it's like your parents are, you know, giving you the play of what to do. Then, you know, you got, you're at school, you're going through school. Then once you get out of school, you have to like make your own decisions. But it's moments like those just real quick. Not to be funny about that teacher friend, but maybe that I think he did know. Like, you know, like he knew for real. Because I feel like certain people, they do like certain teachers rather. And this is just completely aside from what I want to talk about. But if you're a teacher and you listening? Maybe this is for you. I don't know. But some teachers, they just know and they just, they will. It's not that they even want to. They want to favor the student, but it's like something comes alive in them and they just like have to do something for the. Their student. And so hearing that and thinking about that and thinking about that gay Puerto Rican teacher and you friend, just beautiful

[C]

and speaking as a gay. Right? Right. Absolutely. Looked at you and was like, this little girl is smart and she can literally be the shit where she gets set up. Right. I'm about to put this play in motion. I promise you, friend, he saw it. He saw it in you. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Which is the best.

[C]

That's a homosexual. Yes.

[A]

You know what? I've tried to find him and it's like he doesn't exist. Which I think is crazy because you, you. I mean I have tried so hard. I've tried to go on Facebook, I've tried LinkedIn, just Googled. And it's the oddest thing. Even when I google my public school, he don't even show up as a teacher. And I try not to get in my woo woohead. Like I know this person exists.

[C]

Existed. Right, Right.

[A]

Because I was in his class and I have a picture of him.

[C]

What if he's the lady in the midnight library? What Was her name?

[B]

Ms. M. Whatever.

[A]

But you know what I mean, like there's a part of my brain that's having a hard time understanding how he doesn't have a digital footprint.

[C]

Yeah, he might not with him.

[A]

Probably because he was already like I'm. He wasn't that old. He wasn't old. He was probably in his late 20s when he was my teacher. So that's why I'm like, I don't

[C]

know why he wouldn't be around right now.

[A]

He wouldn't be around cuz I want to thank him, I want to talk to him. I want to just tell him like, you really, really changed my life in. In a way that I could never repay. And I want him to see like what I did with it.

[B]

You know, I'm ask.

[C]

The gay console lit

[A]

the database.

[B]

We're gonna, we're gonna submit a. A form, see if we can get

[C]

that up, get the process started and records.

[B]

It's crazy that the adults that they prepared us for their version of life keeping okay Mrs. M. Don't stay prepared us.

[C]

The gay man's version of life. Everything gay man in life is here at the GMV. Just come on down. Make your appointment.

[B]

GMV is now serving. There it is.

[A]

GMV is amazing.

[B]

GMV this is now serving.

[C]

Now serving 29.

[B]

Not commentating. Now serving.

[A]

Let me text y' all so I

[B]

don't oh, welcome to the friends.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

I just want to quickly get into bits and pieces of what that timeline looked like. I keep mentioning it, right? Because even this timeline might not even exist anymore. And hopefully it doesn't. But for those that unfamiliar, what I even mean when I talk about the timeline? It's the unofficial life timeline time according to the gmv, right?

[C]

What in the hell is that?

[B]

You know, when you were younger, you were just. You just had a list of expectations, right? Like when you were 18, by 14 maybe. In some households, your ass need to

[C]

be able to work kids. By half time, I'm 30 and being married.

[B]

Yep. 16, job, 18, you're an adult and you've grown. Even though 21 is when you could drink, but you're supposed to have graduated college by the end. 21, 22, you're supposed to have a career. At least start one if you're not willing to 1:25, you're supposed to have some sort of stability, whether that means your own housing, your own car, your own look, look, the things we thought and at one point own those things.

[A]

Well, that's why I laughed for real. Because obviously there are people that live on their own in 25, but I thought I was gonna have a house out.

[C]

Yeah. With a lawn and a fence type shit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Some people thought that they was gonna be married by 24, but apparently today people ain't really thinking about marriage until they mid-30s, late-30s.

[A]

Not even people walked away from it completely.

[C]

I used to watch a puzzle place and one of the puppets names was Sky. S K Y E Y. I'm gonna name my son Sky. I'm gonna have a son named Sky. Hell yeah, Sky. Let's get going, Sky. Don't wanna get to love. Remember that?

[B]

Got a feeling you unlo something just by mentioning that.

[C]

But I did though. So I thought I was gonna have a son and all those things, mind you. But I thought.

[A]

I thought I was gonna.

[C]

I thought, you know, I thought I was gonna figure it out. I ain't gonna feel it no more,

[B]

friend. Is there anywhere in that timeline you thought you was gonna have something too? Cause, Dustin, you mentioned you thought you was gonna have kids. Oh, actually, you know, you mentioned owning the house.

[A]

Yeah, I always. No. Yeah. I never was like, I wanna have babies. Babies and get married. I was never that kid. But I did want property. What, a grown kid, Right? Property.

[C]

All that. What's up with that? D?

[A]

I always wanted a house. And I think it's because it's like when you consider your circumstance, you know, growing up, there was a part of me that really would dream so hard about just having a beautiful home that was so important to me. Cause, you know, you got roaches and piss in the elevator and chicken bones and all kinds of crazy shit. You just. That's why I'm like, I never thought about men and babies.

[C]

Well, you ain't have none of that shit. When I met you. Your first apartment I met you in was gorgeous, man.

[B]

The second one, it was a dream

[C]

and it was so serene. And the fact that I lived on the opposite corner. So now.

[A]

Now isn't that so craz?

[C]

Now I look at it totally differently because you created a Zen getaway in the middle of the neighborhood that I love because it was active. You know what I'm saying? So the fact that the two worlds was right.

[B]

I don't know if Himalayan salt rock prevented me from hearing the sirens. Cuz I don't remember hearing sirens when I was out.

[C]

It was just like. So there's that. Then when you move to your second apartment, I don't want. Well, you don't live there no more when you move to. No.

[A]

Yeah. And I said it.

[C]

Yeah. I was like, yo, that was dream apartment it. And I'm grateful because it's always been.

[A]

Yep. It's always been a thing for me. Just a beautiful, safe, calm home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Home. And so I'm grateful for that. And so that has been.

[C]

We respect your house. We will come to your house. I take my shoes off. I'mma sit in. What you want us to do, friend? We gonna talk about this.

[B]

I don't even want to sit on the pillow.

[C]

Cuz the vibe just meant not break nothing. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, like I want to use all this, but I don't want to break none of it. So let me just.

[A]

Yeah. I work hard to curate that experience. So that's. Since I was little, that's all I wanted.

[C]

Jay told me my house is like big. The movie big. She's like another Mind you. I'm sharing something with her that was important to me that I was happy to have. Yeah. Jade's response. Oh God. Another thing for your house is like big. What's next to piano? And she started doing a song.

[B]

You were like, well, yes.

[C]

Yeah. Now would I get that? Yes. But I wasn't thinking about till she said something. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Oh God. But yeah, it's funny. It's funny that we even mentioned those things. Right? Because it's like all of that looking back, not all of it was unrealistic, but it was like. It was. It really didn't make sense. Sense for it to be asked of. I feel like, you know, like it should be like, all right. All you really need to do is worry about school and somewhere within there, figure out what you want to do with your life. Like. Like that should just be the roadmap. And I feel.

[C]

Don't even get me started.

[A]

Just what your interests are. Right? Like, that's one thing with my partner's boys that I. I'm just very attentive to what their interests are, you know, like, what's the things that I notice they're gravitating towards and then finding ways to hone in on that because there's something there, you know, And. And kids are tricky, right? Because once they're all about this thing, right? And then next summer they're like, no, that's lame. You're like, what? I just.

[B]

But that's normal and that's okay. And honestly, it's good that they. That they. Because kids are. They're experiencing like. You know, it's like they feel like they got. Yes. It's like they have to catch up and try on as many as they want so they can figure out out as quickly as they can what they like and what they don't like. So it's like, if you. I know and I know that, you know, everybody ain't got it like that, and you shouldn't have to do it. But if you have the means. Because I feel like people with money, y' all got the means and y' all find y' all kids, all kind of other crazy things. Switch out their programs if they want to switch out programs. Don't be like, we've already put so much time into this one. Okay, well, you got the money and the means. It ain't hurting you for the ones that it don't hurt for the other ones.

[C]

I always just wanted to be compromised. I did. I wanted to be cool. Cause I was the youngest. And so like my older siblings was doing older sibling shit. Going to parties, going to the club, going to freaknik, going to college, you know what I'm saying? Like, they was. They was doing all that, you know what I'm saying? And I. So for me, fuck the interest part. Not fuck the interest part. But like, developing my lens growing up was always like, be cool like them. And then once you cool, the shit you like is cool. Cause it's you liking it, you know what I'm saying? So, like. Yeah, so, like, that's what I always thought. I always been on it. I always like. Like that life, you know what I'm saying? Because of them, for real. Like, they ruined me in that way. They. Because they would talk about it over my head, you know what I'm saying? Like, I knew what they was doing, that they wasn't supposed to be doing all that kind of. And I just really wanted to be grown, like, and do that kind of stuff. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

While still, like, in age appropriate. I wanted to be cool. Cool. Because I felt like they was cool. They was doing cool.

[A]

So, yeah, it's so cute.

[B]

I had these neighbors, and they were like, older brothers, and they were real cool.

[C]

They was cool to you, right? So then, you know what I'm saying, Tay? You wanted to be like that.

[B]

Like, I had an older sister and. Well, I have an older sister. I have two older sisters. But the one that I shout out

[C]

to your sister, we know how your sister.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, she was cool, but she would never let me hang out with her, so know the neighbor. I was like, they like my brothers, man. They. They were brothers. They had a cousin that lived across the hall. We would all get together, like, play sports, and I was like, man, this is dope, man. Like, I just want to be like them, want to hang with them. So it's like, I know that feeling of camaraderie, like, that. That feeling of, like, belonging and, like, fellowship, you know, stuff like that is super dope. And I feel like those are the things that help maybe that. I really think those. Like, that really, like, was part of my family.

[C]

My brother and three of my older cousins who, like, the same age as my brother, right? My aunt, God rest her soul, she gave her son one of her rental houses, right? And by giving it to her son, the agreement was that all of them would live there. So it was like Damon and three of my other cousins lived in this house when them niggas was all, like, fresh out of college type shit, they all had their first real jobs, and it was like a party house.

[A]

Damn. Imagine that.

[C]

And for the low, you know what I'm saying? His mama, my aunt, gave it to him.

[A]

So, like, nice.

[C]

So imagine that. Imagine being in high school and, like, your brother and them have this house that they allow you to come be a part of all the parties. I would DJ be, like, 12 and 13. Damon would have me, like, playing the music, and, oh, my. I swear to God in heaven, he will tell you this. So, like, I saw that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was like, they had girlfriends, and they would go get the clothes. Like. Like, you know what? I'm. All of that. Like, they was on that kind of. And that's what I wanted to be like. And I think it's affected me even to this day, because that's Why y' all be saying I'm a boy on road and I be outside and. Because I like that life, you know what I'm saying? I just. I. It's very me, me, I feel, you

[B]

know what I'm saying?

[C]

I'm always.

[B]

You're called to it, and there's nothing wrong with that, right? I.

[C]

With integrity. You know what I'm saying? Street.

[B]

Nothing salacious, right?

[C]

Like.

[B]

Like you're called to, like the lights, the action. Like, it activates you, right? There's something about it. Like, there's something about it that means you need to be in it or with it or part of it to some degree. Like whether that's you going to a concert, you know, vibing with your artist, whether the. You the talent on stage, setting it up for everybody else to get to give them that energy that they need to want to go out into the world and, you know, be the best, best version of themselves.

[C]

When I first started sneaking and going to the gay club last summer, when I first started sneaking and going to the gay club, mind you, I was like. Anyway, I was like, let's say like 23, 24ish, right? I first started sneaking, going to the gay club. No, my ID said so. Well, anyway, this is before. Long story short, when I was sneaking up to the gay club, I would just go over Damon Hobby House, you know what I'm saying? It'd be like, I tell my parents I was going to work, go straight over Damon house, chill, you know what I'm saying? Till it's time to go to the club, get on the road, go to the club and come back. Damon knew where I was going and everything, you know what I'm saying? Type, like, so that you. You for context, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's how this. You feel me, like I was doing like that.

[B]

But that's. That's dope, though, because, you know, the part of your business that we don't want to talk about, you know, with things going on, the fact that you had someone supporting and making sure you were safe, right? You know, like, you. You knew that your life was different from whatever this map, this timeline that's being given to you was, and you still needed to be able to enjoy yourself and live your life so you can be as successful and great as you are now, bringing you closer to that activity of those lights and an action that you so desperate, not desperately in a bad way, but like, desperately.

[C]

Like, desperately, desperately. Susan? Yes,

[B]

I just think that. And there's nothing Wrong with that. That's part of the point. Right.

[C]

Like, life for us ain't been no crystal staircase.

[A]

It hasn't.

[B]

And there's just not one way to live anyone's life. Right. Like, we are told certain things and certain things are great ideas. Like, you know, Frank, college was a great idea. Like, going to the gay club was a great idea, Dustin, because, you know, you wouldn't be able to be as social and move in these circles the way that you move now. You know, you, you.

[A]

That's very true. Even seeing how at the time it might have been like. But now even with my example of college, I see how it shows up even in, like, my ability to want to look something up before I talk about it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That I learned from college. Right. You had to research thing, you had to have references, you had, you know, you had to have certain things in place that I learned in college that have made me better at what it is that I've done done outside of

[C]

very, no nonsense, precision driven business acumen I'm grateful for.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. As a businesswoman, I know a lot of those skill sets I developed through having to structure myself in college. You know, I don't know that I had. I mean, I'm sure I had parts of that in my nature, obviously.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It just got refined in college. And so I'm super grateful in that sense. I just wish it wasn't so damn expensive.

[C]

I'm grateful you got it too, because we literally sat down and you was like, do it like this. And depending on how you grow, increase it like this. I will never forget you verbatim saying to me, dustin, you have to look at yourself like an advertising company. So boom, boom, boom. And you just. It was so clear to me. Just like when you told me about moving the movie screen. It was just so clear to me, you know what I'm saying? I saw it. I was just like, God damn, this makes sense.

[A]

Moving with right? As you grow as a business person,

[C]

people pay people thousands and thousands of dollars for that sort of information. So I've always been really grateful for that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, thank you, brother. Yeah.

[B]

It was a free episode of Earn

[C]

your leisure on a Dead Homies. Friend told me the game like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They only had to tell me once. I was like, oh, oh, got it. You know what I'm saying then? Cause she went to college, okay. That's why, man.

[B]

And I feel like we all have these things that are part of our successes, right. And some of them, we Know of whether we know saying some of them we don't like. Fran, you can knowingly tell that college is part of your success, but that's just a piece of success. People feel like one thing is success in its entirety. But I feel like we all experience more multiple successes throughout our lives, you know, and we have to be able to celebrate those. It doesn't matter if it's something as large as college. Okay. Or as large as living on the west coast, living your dream life.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

As large as going on the road. You know, these are all successes. As large as getting a new car. Like these are all our successes that we. Are we moving to another damn city. Right.

[C]

You know, want to. You know what I mean?

[B]

Honestly, on a smaller scale, but really huge. Being at. Able to travel. Like there are certain people. There are. Things are expensive.

[C]

Didn't you go. Where did you go to? Did you go to Geneva? You went somewhere by yourself?

[B]

Sweden. Yeah, Sweden. Yes.

[C]

By the way, they've got a bunch of good new content. I don't know if y' all been keeping up, but

[B]

example of success in life and not being and it not pivoting. There's not one way to be a Christian, a great person, you know, like everything about Maya is like the quintessential. She really is that fourth seat. Like, think about that picture.

[C]

She's got a genius new black. The bonus black business. Maya has a genius new doula business too, in where she lives in Sweden. But she also does the photography. So it's like a whole, you know, birthing experience thing. Like a package.

[B]

Oh, nice. I said, that was.

[A]

That was so smart to me. It's so smart. When she was putting together the website and she sent it to me, like, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Seemed comprehensive. And I was reading through it, I forgot that she was just asking me to look at it. And I was like, girl, it's like, this is an amazing business model.

[C]

And it's such a.

[A]

She follows you from marriage.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, the photography at your wedding to being your doula when you get pregnant. I mean, it's just. And then she's there with. There with postpartum. And then she's there for consultation as you're raising. So she's just there for you, the whole experience. And I feel like, could you imagine having one person that just guides you,

[C]

captures everything and captures it. Think about the. The richness of a per person that know you that intimately documented all of

[A]

that through all the transitions. Yeah. So happy.

[C]

Maximize living. So did you see Saga Sk again? She was tearing them slopes up. I was like, go ahead, S. She

[A]

ain't even need them anyway.

[B]

But even Maya, I think Maya is a perfect example of like, a new success that people like, you know, are happy or are chasing. Right. I think that there used to be the old successes and now there are these new successes. Right. I feel like the old success was like traditional marriage, kids, job, like doctor, lawyer.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Trad wife would be a great example of a new success. People are more than. And maybe just because it has a name on it, maybe it's always. It's been always success because people always been wanting to be kept, have always wanted to be. But I think that entrepreneurship and people that build these businesses on the Internet, these are new successes. Because the Internet wasn't even. Even what it was back then. It just wasn't. I feel like I remember when I was younger having conversations with my mom and she was like, why are you doing YouTube? There's nothing here. Not that she was trying to discourage me in a negative way, but she. Realistically, that sounds unfamiliar. Yeah. She couldn't see the value in such a new avenue. And that was okay because she didn't grow up looking at computer screens. I was looking at these fat back computer screens going through aol, Yahoo. Who looking, reading information, just learning about random things. And then I see YouTube and I'm like, wow, this is so new. Like, even though it's just videos, everyone from all over is randomly putting videos up of whatever it is of their life. And so that was cool. And, you know, then YouTube became a great place for avenues of people to just share bigger parts of their lives and then movies and music videos else. But all of these things have great purpose on YouTube. Before, it was kind of like, well, damn, y' all kind of changing up what this is. But it's giving everyone fair access in different ways. Whether you're a smaller content creator trying to find your footing and be seen, it's, you know, flooded. But it's a great place to, you know, work out the kinks of whatever your project is. But also if you are a bigger studio and you need to give other access to whatever your film is or your, you know, your content to. With your characters so your cast can make money and be seen and get other jobs. I think that all of these things are important on these new avenues with these new successes. Right. So I don't want anyone to ever downplay whatever it is that they're doing.

[C]

With reason.

[B]

With reason. Yes.

[C]

Thank you for some of you tripping you know,

[B]

I'm just glad that we all redefined what success looked like for us growing up, because I don't think

[A]

it would have allow us.

[B]

I don't think it would allow us to be here where we are. And I think it's important for people out there listening as you look at your life and you look at the things that have brought you to where you are, the good things, whether they were things that you didn't enjoy, but things you could still appreciate, you know, there are things that brought you to where you are, and they can take you even further. So don't let. Don't let those goal posts that exist shift you from the mindset that you're living in. You know, keep doing the right things, keep being good to people, keep connecting to people. I just know that outside of New York, it's so different. Like, as I've interacted with people, I've seen on threads, and I've talked about this before, just a lot of New Yorkers have moved out here. A lot of people have moved to Charlotte, but they feel like they can't. They can't connect with anybody or they haven't been outside enough to, you know, interact with people. Charlotte is not a. So like Charlotte, there's outside, but I don't feel like outside of the outside people are social to each other. Because I found myself just talking to strangers in places and becoming cool with people. And then I learned that they're from New York too, or they've been around New York and they lived here for years and they just haven't met people. And I'm like, because you guys aren't talking to each other. You guys aren't interacting with each other. Y' all go to the events and don't talk to each other, or y' all go to the events and talk to each other, and then, you know, make up whatever and don't get connect. There are things to do, but there are things to do outside of the things to do. It's about how you're handling yourself and what you're doing. But.

[A]

Very true. You have to want. Because I. I haven't made very many friends out here, but I also haven't been looking for them.

[B]

But that's my fault. It's intentional, right? Like, for me, I haven't connected on purpose. Not. Not because I don't want to connect, but just because I know I don't want, I can't intentional be a good, like, friend to a bunch of people right now. So it's like, if I'm gonna show up. I wanna be able to show up. So it's like, I don't wanna start connecting with people. They're inviting me to things and I'm like, oh, sorry, can't come. Not doing that.

[A]

Yeah, you don't wanna be that person.

[B]

Yeah. So. But then there are certain people that they're like, I've moved. I'm ready to be outside. I'm ready to get to the people. I actually part of this. And I don't wanna put nobody's business out, but I've met two random, like two people randomly outside of each other and. And I made them connect with each other. I was like, y' all should meet nice. And they have met and they are really good friends. Do I sometimes feel a little left out? Yes. But I'm glad that I was that connector. I was like, I don't even live here. I don't even be outside like that. So the fact that I was able to connect two people that want to be outside but not outside. I was like, you should be outside. And they're like, I just got nobody to be outside with. I was like, I got somebody for you. I was like a weird matchmaker. And honestly, there's a business there. I just need to tap into that.

[A]

That'd be cute. Cute. I think Isaiah Bell, she moved here I think a couple months before I did. I don't even think maybe, was it maybe a year? I don't know. But it just wasn't that long before. And she has, she has a fiance, she has a whole community, she has tons of friends. She has all these events that she throws because she is trying to create the community as opposed to complain about the fact that, that it doesn't exist like most people out here do about black people. So I admire that about her. She's just like, I'm not looking for the black people. I'm creating an event that they're going to come to and they do every month. And she has a ball and has been a real like shaker and connector, I guess you'd say. Yeah, you know, so some people just. Yeah, some people just make it a thing. Like. And so it's absolutely possible to have community even in a white ass city like this, if you wanted.

[B]

Well, I just know that a lot of us struggle with certain things. And because the world teaches us that it's supposed to be one way, we feel that. So some people feel like, you know, I'm supposed to. I should be able to go to the club and Find a man. It's like, girl, you can, but you know, now as the man that you want gonna be at the club or talking to you, that's a whole nother thing.

[C]

That's something wild to say in the first. Damn. So to be honest with you, you

[A]

know, I should be able to go

[C]

to the club and find a man. Whoa, Holiday, hold on. Holiday. Like, what the is you talking about?

[B]

I should. I should be able to go on a LinkedIn and get me a job. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, well, you gonna learn. You know, some people like that don't even waste your time, you know what I'm saying? Just like. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The thing is, none of us have the answers to what truly is the right way. All we have is what we feel like our internal compass is like. And I hate to call it just vibes, but I feel like a lot of us are just living on vibes. And the way that the world is unstable now, it's not that it's not okay to not live on vibes, but you want to be real intentional with your vibes.

[C]

You can't. That's in the. For you Bible. Thumbs up. That's in the Bible. Faith without works is dead. So while living off just vibes sound cool. That's not how life works, right? You have to do something. And if you want to be a person who, quote unquote, lives off of just vibes, you have to substantiate that and supplement that with something else that is legitimate and prosperous, you know what I'm saying? In your life, you can't just be just walking around bumping into walls with your eyes closed through life, you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta give a fuck about something. Like all this shit going on.

[B]

You see what that.

[C]

Motherfucker. I ain't even gonna turn this into that.

[A]

I know I ain't gonna turn this into that.

[B]

Go ahead. I'm not.

[C]

Cause that's 25 more minutes. So nevermind.

[B]

The thing about life and with it being so unpredictable, okay. When you are able to do things like travel or get outside of your experience or just even talk or connect to other people, people, those are the things that help you that it really help shape you going to college. I feel like. Fran, it was like, I keep coming back to you because, Dust, I know you went to college too, but you use that example. But I know that that was probably super uncomfortable for you, but that was.

[C]

Something is right now. Poor baby.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

Fighting for my. My life. I hope they're not allergies. They're not allergies.

[B]

Yes. Rebuke them. Rebuke them.

[A]

We're not calling that.

[C]

Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Big eye. It ain't allergies, girl.

[B]

That was a mistake.

[C]

Glitch. My bad.

[B]

But I feel like that. That experience, even though it was uncomfortable because you had to find yourself or figure it out for yourself, you were able to do, like. Because you were able to choose. Choose in those moments, like, you know, whether it was choosing your classes from the actual classes or the times that they were or, like, just making those decisions on your own. Those moments were. Yeah, they benefited you. But, like, it. Like, specifically those moments where you're uncomfortable, but you have to work through things, like, those are the moments that will help you figure things out.

[C]

That's how you grow.

[B]

It's how you make a decision, and

[A]

then you just go off in.

[B]

Because nobody tells you how to do any of these things. It's like, they give you this road map. They don't tell you what to do. But there's a benefit to that if you're listening out there, because I feel like people look at. You know, even if they were to say, like, you guys have a podcast. How did you get. How did you get a podcast? You know, like, we know how we got a podcast, but it's like, we don't know how to, like, tell you to make it work for you. Like, what. Because a lot of people, they just want. Want, like, you to tell them, like, give me, you know, the A, B, and C so I can have what you have. And it's like, well, you know, I work with two people that have lived their own lives, and we all come together and do our thing. Like, I don't know how to, like, give you that. Like, all I know is how to tell you, you know, get a microphone and do those things. But some people, they'll get the microphone and they'll be like, I. Yeah, like talking, but act. Actually want to talk about something crazy. And it's like, all right, you could talk about something crazy. I just know how people want to, you know, interact with that. It's. It's all about what you feel and how you want to do things. And that's. I think that's because we're creatives. It's just good to. It's just good to feel something as a creative. But people can't put anything on art. And I was thinking about this when I was watching paradise, because. So, Dustin, Paradise Ice is two seasons of these people the government has moved people into the bunker because a world event has happened. Without spoiling it for the listeners. It's a really nice bunker. It's a really nice. It. It looks like a whole town.

[C]

I just. It's just real hidden close to home right now. That's all, man. It's just.

[A]

That's why this show is so crazy.

[C]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Reacting to it has nothing to do with the show. Paradise. That's all. Well, so I know paradise is the. And shout out to the Sterling K. Brown, the genius, amazing Emmy winner. You know what I'm saying? Shout out to him. So I. I have the utmost respect for paradise on Hulu. It just, you know, it's a trigger.

[B]

I understand. And, you know, Fran was. She's been put us on to the show, even to the concepts of the bunkers and things like that that, you know, I mean, Kimmy Schmidt tried to. But, you know, friend was shot back out to Big Ock. No, I'm just playing

[C]

Parable of the. Dustin.

[A]

I know Octavia was like, I told y'. All.

[B]

But part of what I was thinking about was these people are living in this bunker and they're acting like things are normal after having experienced so much. And then in the second season, we're experiencing people outside the bunker that. It was just interesting to me watching these systems that were still kind of at play with everything that had been lost. And I was just kind of wondering, like, damn, like I wish you would.

[C]

If the world is on fire. You call me a nigger if you want to.

[B]

Wait, what I thought when you said them systems.

[C]

I'm thinking about racism and shit like that amongst the world being blown up, classism and all that kind of shit. My thing is, is if I'm standing in a meteor hole, you know what

[B]

I'm saying, On the Earth.

[C]

Your feet hot, too? Call me one if you want to. That's gonna. I'm putting your face right in that molten. Whatever that is, not in this state of the Earth. Ah. You know, that don't mean nothing to me at that point.

[B]

I just wasn't ready for that.

[C]

Those systems I was thinking about. Now, where are you going with that?

[B]

I just think that it's interesting that those people. That there was still this. And I know it's a TV show, but as I was watching this TV show, there is still going to be some sort of system happening as far as who's deemed as important and saving and then just what is good and happy and success like what, like, what are those things? What would those even look like in that crazy time? Because for this I. I don't want to spoil it, but the main. The woman that had this bunker built, she basically felt like she did her big one. It was her major success. And in my mind I'm thinking like, I really want to spoil it and talk about the show, but I. Make your point, friend. You watched it. Right? Before I go any further, what did you think about Paradise? The. The finale, really, but in its. In. In its entirety.

[A]

Great show. The first half of season two lost me for a little bit there, but I think they tied it in really well and I love the show now and I'm excited for season three.

[B]

The woman that made the bunker. You saw how it happened.

[A]

Sinatra.

[B]

Sinatra. You saw how it ended. I was just really tapped into the storyline of how Sinatra just wasn't. Wouldn't be satisfied until they had did everything that they said they were to

[C]

going, well, she did it her way

[B]

and she didn't do it her way. There are a lot of other old school references in there too.

[A]

That was good.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[B]

No, you're fine. At the very end, I thought it was very poetic what happened to Sinatra. Right. But just that whole thing with Sinatra and her vision of success, like her.

[C]

What happened? She built that whole bunker and then. And she got 86.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

By choice.

[B]

But throughout the series, they were basically making it seem like she wasn't gonna be satisfied until she had this bunker created. And even when she had the bunker created, it still seemed almost like it wasn't enough. But it wasn't just the bunker she built. There was something else that she built too. So I think that was part of her satisfaction at the end. It was just like, people are crazy. It does. Like I think about these small successes that we have because I was so satisfied to get a of couple car and then I drive it now. But once I had that first week, I got it, I literally got my car and I was so excited to have it and I was like, damn, I'm not even driving this bitch. Like, I was like. I was so. Like, when you first buy something, you always just want something so bad and then when you get it, it's not satisfying sometimes.

[C]

Not me too. I'm a little material. A little material. Just a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Not in an unhealthy way, but I just had this conversation with my brother yester, so this is crazy. We've been going there, but I. It is satisfying to get something, you

[A]

want to get stuff, I don't care.

[C]

Like I like you keep it in perspective, right. And help others and shit. First, y' all know I'm not, I'm giving, I ain't even like that. But I do enjoy it's if I you and this prime example. I was on fucking pins and needles, checking my vibe potatoes. I wanted that so bad, you know what I'm saying? I was a basket case because I had to have that Jeff Koons lap. So it really is cute though. I think it's okay to want something and get it, you know what I'm saying? I just think, I don't think that's a bad thing.

[A]

But are you saying just how the different levels Asante of what people find success for her building this world saving bunker for someone else's.

[B]

You go from wanting to graduate college, get a home, have a family, have a career, have high winds in your career, build a bunker. There are these big wins, spin these big successes. And we've had the conversation about when will it be enough. But I guess the conversation right now is more so. And then we'll leave. You have this conversation amongst these friends, not when will you make it up.

[C]

That's a conversation, make it enough.

[B]

Well, the thing is, that's the thing about life. I don't think it ever has to be enough though. Right.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But I guess, like what right now? Because times are so different. Like what are those successes look like right now?

[C]

And I think that's what works right now. They look like being kind to others, number one. They look like creating stability and security for yourself and your loved ones. Number seven too. It looks like doing whatever you can to combat the literal evil forces that are presented against us right now. That's what it looks like right now specifically. That's why it's such a shock to the system when people who you don't expect to side with all that bullshit do. Because it's like, damn right now it's one thing to opposing political views, you can respect that. But aligning yourself with that shit specifically that's going on right now, that's killing me.

[A]

Literally.

[C]

Come on, you know what I'm saying? So I think that's what it looks like right now. If I had to give an answer

[A]

to that question, I think the term right now answers it perfectly. I think it's a. It's constantly changing and evolving because I, I pay attention to what's happening in front of me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So last year or the year prior, it was driving that was my success. I was like, I want to be someone that can get in a car and go where I need to go. And I don't feel nervous. I don't have any little thing that I'm still, like, freake about accomplished it. Great. Now right now, it's part of my life.

[C]

Driving with one hand and

[B]

getting food.

[C]

Look at you, friend. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's just the best. And I love when I bump into y'. All. That's the best part, because it's like this private joke between us. They see me get out the car, and they looked at me like, yes, you, driver. So to me, it's like, that was successful for that, you know, and every. And I allow myself to move into the next thing, because I think that's what being human is. Just allow your successes to change and also to not hit the mark on some of them, because I failed a couple of things. It didn't pan out, and it's like, okay, well, I tried. What's the next thing? And that's that.

[C]

Have you seen anybody from the show yet in your shit or something? Like, any of the artists? Have you ran into them in your car yet? You have?

[B]

Oh, no, not. Not my car. Not my car. No, not my car.

[C]

Let us know when you do, because I want to hear that story. That's going to be hilarious. Y' all should do like Issa.

[A]

That's the best song.

[C]

Oh, boy. In that car.

[A]

It's so cute.

[B]

Look, I sell this to say I

[C]

want a bigger car.

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

You know what? I want you to get?

[B]

My car ain't even that big. I love it. You don't want to have.

[A]

No. You didn't send me a picture. I saw the interior, which is very nice.

[B]

I'm. I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna send you the one that I have, and I'm gonna show you mine after I, you know, going down to the Betty because, you know, Bonnie little pollinated. And I don't like that it just keeps coming back, and I don't like that. I wanted to have this conversation with you guys just because there's a lot going on in the world, and we're doing a lot of stuff, and there are a lot of things to be happy about and feel successful for, but that definition of success always changes. And who's to say what that means? Okay, we're not doing what we're taught, not what we're seeing, but what actually feels right and outside of the vibes. Like Dustin said, you have to Remain informed because we're not, maybe we're not behind. We're just living and we're playing a different game than what we were prepared for. With that said, I hope you all do the right thing and kiss on your loved ones and make good decisions. That's it for this week's hot button. Hope you all enjoyed it.

[A]

Let's jump into this week's segments. With Verbo care. Help is always ready before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.

[C]

Suffering from dry, tired, irritated eyes. Don't let dry eyes win. Use Sustain Pro. It hydrates, restores and protects dry eyes for up to 12 hours. Sustain Pro Triple action Dry Eye Relief

[A]

this week in wellness. So being outside this weekend, I noticed myself being really observant of the elderly and just the older people walking around. And one thing I've said that I love, love Love City is how active everyone is. It's one of my favorite things. And it's actually, I mean, Oregon and Portland specifically come out on tons of lists for being like one of the most fit cities, one of the most active cities, a very walkable city. It's designed in a way that is very encouraging for you to get outside. And I noticed that the folks out here, I just love seeing like my, one of my neighbors, she's like in her mid-70s, mid to late-70s, and she'll be on her knees on the her lawn, like pulling the weeds. She's out there with her lawnmower, just always moving. She's always on her bicycle.

[C]

I love.

[A]

Yeah. My partner actually has a friend who's in his 80s and they actually are bike riding right now as we speak. And I think that's so cool. He's in his 80s and he's on a bike and they're biking for like miles. And I got a little nervous when he said he was bike riding with him because I was like, what? I was like, be safe.

[C]

They gonna end up like Tiny and Shekinah when he was on that bike.

[A]

But that's so inspiring to me and I think that's so lovely.

[C]

You know, it is though old, it really is what I call it.

[A]

And when I'm in New York, especially the neighborhood I grew up in, you didn't see that a lot of the elderly were in bad shape and obvious. See that's by design, right? The food that we had access to, the way our neighborhoods were designed, where it's not walkable, all kept Very calculated. And it sucks, right? Because you see how that has such an impact on your quality of life, especially as you get older. So I've been thinking a lot about how I feel about my body, and not even just in the aesthetics, right. A lot of times we speak about weight or fitness or muscle mass, whatever. Whatever the case, things are all, you know, important in different ways, but outside of the aesthetics, it's just the quality of life. Like, I've been thinking so much about what I'm doing now to put myself in position to be that older lady that can be 80 on a bicycle, going on a bike ride with someone, or, you know, being on my knees on my lawn pulling out weeds, and you know what I mean? Like, I love that. And I. So I've been doing an art audit of the behaviors that I partake in now that contribute to that person that's going to be 80 on a bike, you know, so my diet is already great, but I was.

[B]

Stretches, right?

[C]

And that's cuss words.

[A]

And I'm really good about stretching. I do stretch every day. You know, I go to the gym. But I. I've been rethinking even the way that I work out, because that whole whole, you know, for the fitness folks that are listening, that whole push, pull, right? You're in the gym, you're pushing something or you're pulling something down, right? And it's the bodybuilding concept. It's functional in terms of you're building muscle mass, which is incredible as you're aging, right? It helps you with bone density because you're lifting heavy things. And a lot of our bones, you know, do start thinning out as we're aging. So these are things that are absolutely, absolutely helpful, obviously, burning fat, all the things. But bodybuilding isn't functional when you think of, like, your overall quality of life, right? Like your rotators. Yeah, your rotators, right. Your shoulder health, your knee health. Like you said, the joints, that fluidity, right? Even the explosiveness that we went yesterday, yesterday we were in the park and because we'd just be in the gym, push, pull, push, pull, push, pull, as it feels like. And we were like, let's go for a run. If you know me, I used to run a lot. I used to run 18 miles a week. That. That was Central Park. If you're a runner, you know, Central park is 6 miles all the way around. And then I did that three times a week. That was my life for many years. Years. And I haven't been a runner in a long time. Honestly, I think the impact of running in Central park actually did more harm because that's fucking concrete. I don't know what I was thinking. And so my knees and my shins, after so many years of doing that, were not in the best shape. They're great now, but there's a part of me that's afraid to like activate any of those issues, you know what I mean? So I kind of don't want to be outside running. But we. There was a track and we just wanted to see where we were in our fitness. And so we ran around the track and did a couple of laps just to see if we could. And we did do it. And I was great. I was like, oh, that's great. I still got it in me a little bit. But I saw afterwards, like, I just felt so heavy and stiff and I was like, man, I don't know that the workouts that are the more traditional workouts that people push you to, right?

[C]

You're conducive to your long term goals. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And it got me really thinking about just improving overall fitness. Because when people talk to you about fitness, it's always the same thing. Oh, you got to go to the gym.

[B]

So now you're doing Pilates or Pilates, Right.

[A]

Everyone now is on the Pilates thing. And it's like, I think people will do things kind of tying into what you were saying in the Hot button, right? You'll do things because that's the formula, right? This is the formula for fit. You want to be fit, you go to the gym, you get, get on, and you do some squats on the rack, you do some quad extensions, back extensions.

[B]

Like everyone has like that perfect set of like, whatever.

[A]

Yeah, you, you start getting really into fitness. You're like, okay, what's my split? On Mondays I do quads on this, you know, and then you get really into it. But now I'm starting to step back and be like, but does this actually align with the elder that I want to be? Do I want to be aesthetically pleasing and have muscles? Of course. Who doesn't want to be.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Gorgeous for as long as they can? But it's like so much bigger than that. I'm thinking about yesterday, how I felt after that run. And it's funny because you know that guy that people were making fun of because he had put his face in that cold water? The Diesel?

[B]

Oh, yeah, the Diesel, Yeah.

[A]

He recently was racing a bodybuilder and it was him versus a bodybuilder. Other dude was massive. But it was crazy how the bodybuilder literally could barely lift. Lift his feet up to run because he's just so big and stiff. But he looks great, right? When you look at him, he's aesthetically carved out like, that's years of work. But the functionality of that in real life just was like, you know what I mean? It just got me thinking, like, I think I need.

[C]

It's really worth the squeeze, you know?

[A]

But do you ever consider the things that you're doing now, now, how or not doing, how is that contributing to the elder that you want to be? Because we are in the right now. Like, I live this way, I eat this way, I do this. And yes, that's fun. But like, what about that 70 and 80 year old, are they going to be able to walk without a. Yeah, to walk without any issues, to have any knee pain, back pain, you know, like. Like, I really been thinking about her a lot, that version of me, and just wanting more, like, to create a lifestyle that provides more agility, right? More mobility, fluidity, explosiveness.

[B]

Sorry, I feel like I'm guessing what you about to get to. I'm just trying to.

[A]

No, it's not even a get to necessarily. It's more of an audit, you know, of what I'm doing. Doing. We even started. My partners switched to kettlebell training, okay. And he has been crazy. I actually worked out with him yesterday to try it because I was like, you know what? I've messed around with kettlebells a little bit. Like, you know, you do the kettlebell swing, right? You swing it, you bring. But I've never done like a full body training, boy, different. Holy shit. And then it made me fall into a rabbit hole. Me being me. I started watching a bunch of kettlebell people, people on YouTube. Insane. And it's like, you're like, you're like an athlete, bodybuilder. You're athletic because that takes so much cardiovascular strength and instability, right? You have to have core strength to be able to move the kettlebell up and down your body and hold it in different ways. I mean, it's amazing. But that's what I'm like. That's his thing now, right? He switched from bodybuilding building to kettlebell training. And now I'm thinking like, you know, yeah, Pilates is all the rage. And Pilates is great, right? Because it's very elongating. You're stretching, you're, you know, using light weights on the stretch. And some people do hot Pilates with

[B]

the one that was real huge for a While like the, the rope. No, rowing. They would like rowers. Something. I don't remember what it was. It was something.

[A]

Yeah. They have the rowers in the cardio section, which is a killer workout for a minute. Yeah, the rower. But it's like I'm trying to like be a more hybrid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Functional worker outer. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I really have thought about it and I was like, this push pull has benefits. Absolutely. Because I. I'm still gonna do a. Do it, you know, like, I still term, but long term. Do I want to be 80 on the leg press? Am I gonna be 80 on leg press? You know what I'm saying? Doing barbell squats. No, I don't want to do barbell hip thrusts in my 70s, granted, there are tons of elders on YouTube in amazing shape that are still doing barbell. I don't want to do that. That's not the elder. I want to.

[B]

To be.

[C]

I have to be because I got to be able to do that. So it's not even a. I mean, you know, just, you know, different strokes.

[A]

But that's what I mean. Literally, like you have to figure out what's the lifestyle you can start now that you can continue on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's the biggest thing. Right. Even the way I eat, I try not to be too restrictive or too like, unattainable because this is a lifestyle. I'm not on a diet for like a quick fix. It's like, can I keep eating this? Is this sustainable? Am I going to be 60, 70, 80 eating like this? And if you are whatever you're eating, like, what kind of person is that turning you into in those 70s and 80s, you have to really consider that. So just a lot of auditing really was being outside this weekend and seeing the elderly in such phenomenal shape, man, it just inspiring. Yes. On motorcycles, skateboards, bicycles, really. To the. My partner's friend being on the bike this morning just really blew my mind because the 80 year olds, first of all, my grandparents didn't even make it that far. That's number one, you know what I mean? So to see an 80 year old on a bike, chilling, like, just living his best life. And they're part of a group called the Silver Striders. It's a crew of old black men and they just walk five miles three times a week together.

[C]

That's dope.

[A]

And they have their T shirts and their hair.

[C]

They probably talking so much shit too.

[A]

Hell yeah. And they're so funny. And they've been doing this for like 20, 30 years and three days a week they link up in the morning and they go walk for five miles. And that's so great. Like, and you gotta look into the lifestyle you're living. Like, is it sustainable?

[C]

That retirement coin I have on a new jogging suit every. Every walk.

[B]

Speaking.

[C]

Everybody. Good morning. Good morning.

[A]

Oh, he has an amazing, he has an amazing Chevy Chevelle. Oh, I know.

[C]

What color? Never mind. I guess we shouldn't say that.

[A]

No, it's time.

[C]

That's a picture later, right?

[A]

Oh, he's just, he's just the coolest man. But I'm just, you know, I want you, those of you listening, and us of course, to really just consider the habits that you are participating in now and if they're conducive to the older person that you want to be, you know, and that's not saying that you got to like have a perfect life where you can't be partying, eating and drinking and doing all the things because

[C]

then you have regrets. Regrets.

[A]

Because then you'll have regrets. But make sure you're also thinking of that 70 or 80 year old, make time for them. Same way that you're doing that with your retirement and your finances for what 70 and 80 year old version of you is going to look like. Consider your health, your body, your joints, your knees, you know, like, are you stretching? Are you doing anything that allows you to be rotating your shoulder and moving your elbows and your ankles?

[C]

Like, are you scrubbing your feet?

[A]

Are you bending over, scrubbing your feet? Yes.

[C]

So that you don't end up, you know what I'm saying, jacked up one day type shit, you can get ahead of that.

[A]

But honestly, if, and I know right now fitness like we've discussed is all the rage and I'm, I think it's great. But just make sure that you're not just following formulas and actually designing a plan that is conducive to the life lifestyle that you want to have specifically.

[C]

So Yoga with Adrian.

[A]

Oh, I used to love her. You know what? I need to pull up a yoga with Adrian video on YouTube. But yes, just something to, you know, consider for your life. We were doing burpees. That explosiveness, the way it makes your head feel, if you haven't been doing that type of. Yeah, explosiveness and just being able to jump in the air like that. Like that's what I mean about explosiveness. Like are you doing things where you can handle that, where you can jump up and down and feel okay, seriously, it's such A simple question, but burpees will fuck your.

[C]

Some burpees will have you burp in while you're working out too. You know what I'm saying? People be passing gas and shit in the gym because I'm telling you, you

[A]

need to be able to jump up and down, like, and. And do it well. Something to consider.

[C]

You literally need to be able to jump up and down and do it well.

[A]

You know, on that note, that's it for this week in wellness, this week in music.

[B]

Lots of crazy things in music. Music. Only going to touch on a couple of them, and then we're going to move right on along. There was an incident with Pooh Shiesty and Gucci Mane.

[A]

My God.

[B]

Today, a lot of street happening. Apparently, Pooh Shiesty held Gucci man at gunpoint to get out of his contract with 10:17. I just want to comment and say this. It's a whole lot of street, and I have no. No bearings on what happens here other than Gucci Mane. As an artist, I respect you. As a label person, I have not been a fan of. And I don't like that. I don't like that Pooh Shiesty had to resort to such extreme measures to do what he had to do. But if you're an artist and that's something you have to do, I'm not saying do it, but, you know, I'm

[C]

definitely not saying do it. Especially now with a goddamn ankle monitor on your leg when Good. Like, especially now when you just literally, you ain't even thought out yet. You still froze from the pen. And this went and decided to rob and kidnap Gucci Mane. And thought. And then. And then go on podcast talking about it and go online showing the jewelry you stole. How was that going to end well for you? How.

[B]

I just.

[C]

But anyway, go ahead, Taylor.

[B]

Nope, that's. Any other thoughts you'd like to share?

[C]

And his mama talking about. Yeah, I raised a real slime.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

All right, ma'. Am.

[A]

This is what I said about circumstance.

[B]

For some people, that's what success looks like.

[C]

I was so happy he was out. I love first day out fdo. That's my. I love his music. Music, but damn, you know what I'm saying? Glad I caught it while it lasted. That one video is all that. So grand opening, grand closing type.

[A]

Such a handsome young man, too. That's. I mean, crazy.

[B]

One other story. One other story. Then we're gonna get into the songs to play. Listens lately portion. Actually, before I get to that story, shout out to Megan Thee stallion. She. Everyone knows that she's on Broadway. Last week, I believe she was rushed to the hospital. She has made her return back to the stage and she'd received roaring applause, standing ovation. My girl is out here doing her thing. She's being praised the way that she should. She's having the time of her life. Still having fun. This is what the hottie's supposed to be doing. This is why she's the hottest. I want to lastly share that There's Coachella coming up. It's summertime and everyone knows that Coachella happens.

[A]

Who?

[C]

Coachella. This year,

[B]

the headliners are all Sabrina Carpenter, Justin Bieber and Carol.

[C]

Both weekends.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Oh, Carol will even make history as the first Latina to take top billing at the event.

[C]

That's dope. Carol G. Is all right, girl. Yeah, that's dope.

[A]

Shout out to her. I didn't realize she was at that point of headlining Coachella. Shout out to you.

[B]

I didn't either. Yeah, good for Carol G. So Carol

[C]

G, Sabrina Carpenter and Justin Bieber are the headliners.

[B]

Yep. Okay.

[A]

Okay, Nice.

[B]

And that is this weekend and next weekend. I am assuming. I. I always get confused how they do it. So it's like I am assuming that they're going to be there both weekends headlining. So. Yeah. Also at the festival, Young Thug. I mean, there's a ton of Damn people. Sorry, just short. Just quickly, I guess I'll comment. I see the name Cat ey is going to be at the festival. Festival. For those that even know what Cat's Eye is, Cat's Eye is a K pop inspired international girl group. They. There were formerly six girls, one of which was a black. Well, a young lady of color. And I believe she was from Sweden. Manal. She was the black one. And she is no longer with the group. There has been a lot of. A lot more discourse around her and her time with the group. And that is going to continue to happen. But they will be at Coachella and I don't. I didn't really care about them without. She's not in the group anymore.

[C]

So no Manon.

[B]

No Manon.

[C]

Maybe she should do essence.

[B]

There's a lot of discourse about her whether she even wants to be an artist or she should be famous as, you know, maybe in movies or something. So we'll see. What I hope.

[C]

Whatever happens for her, she the black girl. We root for her.

[B]

Yeah, she's a black girl that's been visible. And if she wants more in the artist lane, then, you know, give it to her if she wants to move in another.

[C]

She needs to go solo and call herself Cats. Meow. That.

[B]

Yes, that happened. That story has been around and he is.

[C]

I'm the cat.

[B]

You can. You can definitely. You can definitely choreograph it. That is all I would like to report, because I can't. I just saw their name and I started laughing, which is rude.

[C]

So who else? Give us, like, a couple more. Who else is going to be there? What's some of the bigger secondary names? You see, I keep clicking on this,

[B]

but it won't get. Oh, FKA Twigs is going to be there.

[C]

Oh, that's worth the ticket right there.

[A]

She was here and she is here.

[B]

Teddi swims.

[C]

You gotta have a fan on for Teddy.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

How you say it.

[C]

That desert.

[B]

Leaky lie.

[C]

Yeah, like Kaylee. I mean, Leaky Lee.

[B]

Yeah, Leaky Lee. And then. Yeah, I mean, there's gonna be a lot of people. Okay.

[C]

Those are good acts. Honestly. A lot of the ones you just named and Justin Bieber gonna do do good too. They don't have to have the fan on for his ass too.

[B]

I'mma play. Oh, Justin.

[A]

I'm excited for the tent content of Coachella. People out in them tents. That is good stuff on TikTok. Look it up if you haven't. With Verbocare, help is always ready before, before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind suffering

[C]

from dry, tired, irritated eyes. Don't let dry eyes win. Use Sustain Pro. It hydrates, restores, and protects dry eyes for up to 12 hours. Sustain Pro triple action Dry eye relief.

[B]

Well, that's it for this artist. Dimension portions. Now we can move on to the songs to play Listens lately, friend, what have you been listening to lately?

[A]

Well, I was in my car all weekend and I had my driver's playlist.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Y' all know I created one has hundreds and hundreds of my favorite songs, but a couple of them popped up and I was like, oh, I got to play this on the show this week because it just felt good. Perfect for the weather, the energy. So we're going to start with Iman Omari in the song called Energy.

[C]

Oh,

[A]

I only see one thing

[B]

in

[A]

this world that I need no one

[B]

coming from me Just want the L good. On your.

[A]

Why don't you just. Oh, I just have to say Imam Omari, you are everything. Yes. Been such a fan of yours. I love everything that you do. I feel like you don't get enough out here so I had to shout you out today. I also played the real by sir and this is how it goes.

[B]

No pressure, no rush, no commitment.

[A]

Let's take it slow girl we've been waiting a long time

[B]

but they say

[A]

anything good is worth waiting for so I show all right when we need to be love just trust your heart and I let love take the leap cuz I'm ready for real Ain't nothing like the real thing, bab.

[B]

I know how it feels.

[C]

If he wants to go,

[B]

I like that.

[A]

I'm telling you, this could be. This is big spring picnic energy. And then lastly, this popped in and I was like, oh, Anderson pack, you are just my guy. Come down.

[C]

Y' all got me hot.

[B]

Hey, well, that's exactly where the came

[C]

for

[A]

you throwing shots from afar I'm gonna meet you at your front door

[C]

so hard to be doing what you really meant for you did but don't

[A]

I make it look easy? Don't I make it look good? Hey, now you drake up all my

[C]

liquor Come on, what I'm supposed to do now?

[A]

Come on, you gonna have to back it up if I get too high now she could come on. I might never come down I might

[C]

never come down

[A]

Let me get down come on, let me get down. That's the energy I was on.

[B]

It's happy you don't ever come down. Dustin, what your ass been listening to.

[C]

All right. First song I've been stuck on this week is Circles by crime mob. Hey,

[A]

Time till I drive oh, but what am I to do? My mind is in a whirl give me a little hope

[C]

one small thing

[A]

to clean to

[B]

you got.

[C]

Me this then you go and do

[B]

doing that it's mixed sillers in my head you never give me straight back coming at me with these stories taking up a play of time you seem confused up in your head

[C]

anyway because a song, a show can only be

[B]

so long was ahead of their time

[C]

they were another person that was ahead of their time was twisted sister. This is we're not gonna take it,

[A]

Take it we ain't going to take it oh, we're not going to take it anymore. We've got the right to choose it there ain't no way we lose it

[B]

this is our life, this is our

[A]

soul wrong we'll fight the thousand fe just dumb and go destin because you

[C]

don't know us you don't belong

[A]

oh, we're not going to take it no, we ain't going to take it oh, we're not going to take it.

[C]

Eat to mama Tambien. That's right. Next song I'm gonna play. Actually, I'm gonna play four songs this week. Sorry, y'. All. Add this is a bonus song that y' all made me think about this our girl Zaya Bell deserve.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't pay my dues I put in the time all that I've been through yeah, she's still so fine. You know I'm fine. I can feel them looking when they talk.

[C]

Anyway, so the last song I'm going to play this week is from Xavier, Omar and Sango. This is called say it. This my shit, and it's on my list. You know, your playlist is on my playlist.

[B]

I hear my feelings didn't want to be bad for you I've got all of these facts for you but it's been a lot to say yeah, the

[A]

fact I'm even asking you only shows me that's the truth you don't know. Want to say what I want to say.

[B]

Do you hear what I say?

[A]

If I ever say it, say it

[B]

I just want to say what I want to say. Do you ever try to think about my knees?

[A]

Are you listening or is it just a face?

[C]

So that's it for me this week.

[B]

You over jamming. Y' all both jamming.

[A]

All right.

[B]

First song I'm gonna play is by the system called you are in my system. Here's how it goes.

[A]

It. And night by night I see you in my mind. It happens all the time. You know my sages.

[B]

So, yes, that song has been in my damn system. Next song. Nice play.

[A]

Oh, that felt good.

[C]

Oh, now that's tv. These girls was arguing, and she was like, shut up. She's like, you grew up in the system, you system. Look, she's like, look. She's like, you system ass. I had never in my life life heard nobody call somebody a system ass. I was like, that's crazy. At this point in my life, I feel like I've heard every possible insult. And that was the first time. So that song. Think about that.

[B]

Next song I want to play is by an artist name. I believe you say their name is Isaiah. There ain't no H, so I hope I'm saying it right. Isaiah Haran. This song is called. Did you play this song? This girl wants everything.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

This girl wants everything. I was in the car and it came on. I was like, damn. This song kind of go. So, yeah, this girl wants everything.

[C]

It's about E.J. johnson.

[B]

When you fall and I spend it

[A]

all with no second doubts that's what you do when you love someone Till you figure out the love you show

[B]

Just ain't enough for you, baby and I don't think I'll ever know why

[A]

because didn't I keep them all off you, baby?

[B]

Could have sworn I showed you love so crazy but there's not enough of my baby she need a house in a plane today so that she stay

[A]

yeah, it don't matter if I give

[B]

it to you, bab. You still might look the other way.

[A]

They say love don't cost a thing.

[B]

Cost me everything so I stand on what I say. Yeah, this girl wants everything. Not a little, but everything. She deepened on me for everything.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So that young man can sing. And I enjoyed that.

[C]

Good.

[B]

It was real good. At the Sunroof that back, I was

[A]

like, oh, that is nice.

[B]

Okay, a couple songs. I mentioned Justin Bieber because it's going to be a Coachella. This song also came up and I

[C]

was like, I know. I was like, I know.

[B]

I like Justin Bieber like that.

[C]

He got some shit.

[B]

I remember saying a long time ago when I'd heard Yummy, I was like, I know he's got some songs that I probably missed out on. Well, now they're coming up. This song is called Swap It Out. I enjoy this track very much. Here's how it goes.

[A]

I'm a bird, open up to me it's all you got to do Give me all your heart Swap it out with you Swap it out with you Swap it out with you Come into my world I give my world to you I can show you what I'm talking about he obliges to show you how Follow my lead that's what you want to do. No pressure. Swapping that ain't never been a crime. If it wasn't I do the time away the key. As long as I'm in with you Four best for. 50. 50.

[B]

That's Justin Bieber. That's Swap It Out. That's off the Journals, which I believe is an older project. So I'd been listening.

[A]

That's what everyone talks about.

[B]

Yeah, so I'd been listening.

[C]

Teenager wasn't nothing but a diary. He just said journal cuz he was a boy.

[B]

Last artist I'm gonna. Because I could not get enough of this artist. And you all can't either because she is family to this show. That is right. It's India, Sean. She is back with another one.

[A]

My girl.

[B]

Matter of fact, Rain, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We kept our arms up a long time.

[B]

Okay. It's rain on me.

[A]

Keep me looking sharp like switch play and all on my thigh while we switch lanes Shining next to you all respect baby on my wrist got no restraint it's like that dripping drip down way water like it rain down water so good you do it like I knew you oh I like when you oh you make me feel so beautiful Baby sp it all on me I'm the only girl you do. Tropical water.

[B]

I love India. I will never not love that woman. Shout out to her and everything that she's doing. Go check that out again. That is Rain on Me by India. India. Sean, that's it for the Music man

[C]

segment this week in tv. All right, so first of all, I'm not looking up nobody's background and political beliefs on the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. This is a choice. This is a choice. I'm fully aware of that.

[A]

Cause you already know.

[C]

I just want to protect my peace right now and enjoy the show to balance that Right. So that I'm not platforming nobody. I shouldn't. I'm just not sharing none of their personal pages. I'm not really rooting for nobody. I'm just literally enjoying the show as a viewer. That's it. So I' ma let all that shit find me. If it's out there, it'll find me. So I'm not even. Well, I'm not even. I'm just going to spend until I can't enjoy it no more. I am. That being said, when I tell you all the Real Housewives of Rhode island is so goddamn good.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Oh my God, did I. And the after show for both episodes. Oh, they all know each other. They've been knowing each other for a decade plus. Each, all of them, right? Some older, some younger. One girl who used to be on the Bachelor one, Her and her husband ain't really seeing eye to eye. One girl is a sugar baby. She literally won Miss Rhode Island. And her boy, she live in like a 16,000 square foot mansion with her boyfriend of 11 years. But the first six months of the year, he spends it in Miami with his other girlfriend. That's their arrangement.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yup. So she be in there chilling with the staff, you know what I'm saying? Doing her thing. The other girl named Jo Ellen, she is fully in her season one glam. You can look at her and her open toed, round toed pumps and big, huge, huge, huge dense hair. You could just tell old school Mary Kay looking ass Makeup, you could just tell, you know what I'm saying? So she's literally doing that. And she's the firestarter on the cast. There's another girl named Rosie. Just as a person who's been watching the Housewives for damn near 20 years, right? I can see the season oneness of the cast, and I love it because it's literally so authentic. It's exactly what we want. They are literally behind the gates and mansions with the money, and they're being very forthcoming. The one lady's husband was cheating on her. The mistress posted pictures in his lap, kissing on him. They got the pictures all on the screen. They're talking about it. These women are putting it all out there.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

And it's real shit, I'm telling you, is great. So I'm just gonna say that also, we had to get that out the way so that we can talk about the premiere show, the number one show, the show that's got everybody's attention right now. The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back. Season 17 premiered this Sunday. April.

[A]

Damn. 17.

[C]

New cast, shout out to Pinky Cole. Give it up for Pinky Cole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Aw, Pinky.

[C]

Pinky is a real hot housewife. Asante introduced me to Pinky. We knew Pinky when she had a juice bar on 1 45th. Pinky has gone on to be the slutty vegan. You know what I'm saying? Restaurateur, entrepreneur, mogul, cover of Forbes cover, Time magazine or Time magazine 100. All that. Cover Essence, all that. I worked with Pinky when I hosted BET on Black on Revolt. Pinky was a judge in season two when I was the host, and in season three when I was the host and we had. And each time when I saw her on set on season two, we, like, hugged and she started crying. It was full circle. And then for season three, we were the only ones that returned. It was all new judges other than her. And I returned as host. So that's my Pinky story. So shout out to Pinky K. Michelle is the other new housewife. She's on there. We're gonna see how she fares amongst this group. I think it's gonna be a good show. I wanna say that Shamia Morton looked so motherfucking good at that dinner.

[B]

She did.

[C]

Oh, my God. The first thing they were saying was she got her body done. I said, y' all forgot the last word. Which is right. She got her body done, right? Shamia looks so fucking good. Do you hear me? Angela Oakley looks so fucking good. Angela Oakley's daughter is beautiful and looks like a carbon copy of her. Charles Oakley had us laughing already in the first episode. Cynthia Bailey opened up the episode. Let's talk about how she walked in with that ponytail, which, you know, gay people get excited about a good ponytail. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail. And she. She was like, you just saw her back. And she turns the television on and they play a montage of what happened last season. And she turns around and looks at the camera and says, now, what else is going on? And then the episode starts. Cynthia thought it was Portia.

[B]

He was like, I thought that was Portia. Turned around and seen it was Cynthia. And she was. And when you. And that face looked good.

[C]

Cynthia looks incredible. And shout out to Parrishay. Parishay is a wardrobe stylist who. It puts together the best looks. You see Portia in that black dress with the side cutouts that she had on. That's Parrishay. So many other people, Cash, all kind of people. But Parrishay is styling Wendy Oseffo her at the reunion. Then that red. That's Parachay Wendy and all them looks and her confessionals and on the show, that's Parrish Shay Paris is styling Cynthia in her confessionals this season, too. So we can look forward to more good moments from her.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Drew, Sedora, her and Shamia getting into it. There was just so many moments, too. Yeah, Drew looks good. Drew looks. Drew is a pretty girl. Like, hands down, you'd be lying if you say otherwise, right? So that was good. Kelly is on there, and she's got a very robust storyline this season. Her and Shamia's bond is something that the other ladies don't necessarily consider legitimate. And it's just good. It's good. It's building at the right pace. We are back and it feels full and complete. They have eight housewives. Cynthia is a friend. I'm telling you, like, this is going to be a good season. The first episode dropped this Sunday, so get in now while you still time and said you. You don't feel overwhelmed because you got to catch up on nine episodes to know what the fuck we talking about. This is the perfect time to get in while the first episode aired. Fran and Asante, we don't want a repeat of the show. That's so personal for me.

[B]

I watched, I watched. I've already watched.

[C]

I can't even really speak of, you know, So I want y' all to watch it. I implore you both to watch it in your spare time. I'm most interested in friend, you and your partner watching this together and getting,

[A]

oh, gosh, that's saying I'm what.

[C]

What I want.

[B]

So.

[C]

And then we can, like, have a private offline binge with just the four of us. You know what I'm saying? So that's what I want.

[A]

That's all I watch.

[C]

In other TV news. That's actually, yes, One other thing in TV news. First of all, Bell Collective Birmingham, new series again, Getting on the ground floor, people. Brand new season. They are franchising Bell Collective, the reality show about the entrepreneurs in Jackson, Mississippi. The black women entrepreneurs in Jackson, Mississippi, Mississippi. They are franchising it to Bell Collective Birmingham, which is anchored and starring Stormy Steel, multi millionaire, mogul, owner and creator of Canvas Beauty. Canvas Girl Beauty or Canvas Beauty. I think it's just Canvas Beauty.

[A]

Oh, I thought you meant Stormy, like Coach Stormy.

[C]

I was like, no, the one I thought was a lesbian and didn't mean no harm. But y' all was like, she is not a lesbian. I literally.

[B]

I see why I could see it.

[C]

It was the plate video. It was the plate video. I know she was telling that girl. I was like, I just, I assumed and that's probably, I guess, am I, am I homophobic? I don't think so. I just assumed she was a lesbian. And y' all was like, dustin, she is not gay.

[B]

I was like, oh, my God, it's Canvas Beauty. But the Instagram is Canvas Girl Beauty.

[C]

Okay, so Canvas Beauty, though Stormy7 Records, highest selling live seller on TikTok in the UK and in the United States. She made millions of dollars in like an hour or some shit, like, and she does it all the time. Her brand is huge. Collabs with Lala Anthony, all kind of shit. She's anchoring a cast of. I think there's six, five or six black entrepreneurs, Black women entrepreneurs in Birmingham, Alabama. And the seven minute super trailer you can watch now on the own network, YouTube. Go there or go to all of Carlos King's media, social media accounts. You can find links there. Watch the show, support this show. Black women in Birmingham, Alabama, that's got shit going on. Brand new faces, all new stories. Let's support this show. It premieres on Friday, which is April 10th, which is my birthday. So a great birthday gift for your birthday.

[B]

I'm gonna watch.

[C]

Thank you. Birthday gift to me. Watch the show, watch baby Bell Collective Birmingham and then watch us talk about it on Monday Night Live. Every Monday night at 7 o' clock on Carlos King's YouTube channel. That's it for me this week and

[A]

that means that is it for us this week. Thank you guys for hanging out with us yet another week. We don't take you for granted. We appreciate you and we love you so much. Happy birthday to you, Dustin. Happy birthday.

[C]

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

[A]

Next week. Bye. This is you're more than just one thing. You're the boss. Hey Google, what time is my meeting with Tim today? The athlete that class wrecks me. The ringleader. And we're good and always their mom. Everyone in the the all new Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn [e-mail] Google is a trademark of Google LLC.

[C]

Sequences shortened and simulated suffering from dry, tired, irritated eyes. Don't let dry eyes win. Use Sustain Pro. It hydrates, restores and protects dry eyes for up to 12 hours. Triple action Dry eye relief.