Heavy Conversation

Summary

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The Friend Zone – "Heavy Conversation" [March 5, 2025] – Summary

Overview

In this episode of The Friend Zone, hosts Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), and Assanté dive into fatphobia—its roots, nuances, and deep entrenchment in our culture and daily lives. Using recent viral incidents, pop culture, and personal stories, the trio challenge the biases around body image and amplify the importance of inclusivity, mental health, and treating people with dignity. Lively music and media recommendations, as well as a Black business highlight, bring moments of levity and empowerment to an episode grounded in tough, necessary conversation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Latasha Scott Drama: Media Spin, Sisterhood & Authenticity

• Dustin opens the show with shade and humor, referencing the recent viral moment of Latasha Scott (from Xscape) singing about her personal drama on Instagram and TikTok, addressing rumors about her marriage and group fallouts.
• Breakdown: The group discuss the blurred lines between entertainment, self-narrative, and truth—especially when public figures use their platforms to reframe history or promote new projects.
  • Tamika Scott (Latasha’s sister) calls out inconsistencies, highlighting how personal stories get bent for publicity.
• Notable Quote: “The thing about people who lie ... it gets to a point where it can be Wednesday at 2pm and if they tell you that the sun is out, you’re gonna say it’s nightfall.” – Dustin [03:43]

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Weekend Catch-up & Travel Joys

• Hosts’ personal updates: Adulting wins, travel benefits, and lifestyle upgrades—from flight perks to new credit card benefits—highlight sources of joy in the everyday grind. [10:00-13:30]
• Theme: Finding gratitude and community even in small things.

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Celebrating Women’s History Month

• Eloquent flowers: Assanté gives Fran a loving shoutout for her presence and impact, entwining friendship and intentional community-building. [14:31-15:47]
• Discussion: The lasting power of support and chosen family, with tender stories about the hosts’ first meeting at a protest and the power of platonic love.

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Black Business of the Week: Edam Co.

• Spotlight: Edam is a Black and Asian woman–owned beauty brand pioneering "smart melanin beauty" with a patented, science-backed approach. [17:10-26:38]
  • Their lip balm and other skincare lines cater specifically to melanin-rich skin.
  • Fran shares her experiences shopping for skincare, frustrations with dupes, and the beauty industry’s approach to inclusivity.
• Notable Quote: “I love that they’re standing on that. There is for us, about us, for us—all of the things.” – Fran [22:17]

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Listener Feedback, Community Recap & Social Media

• Community call-outs of music picks, podcast in-jokes, and hilarious internet moments (e.g., Bruce Vilanch compared to Travis Kelce’s mom) bring in levity and listener participation. [32:18-40:49]

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MAIN TOPIC: Fatphobia – Origins, Impact, and Reclaiming the Narrative

Context & Recent Events

• Catalyst: Recent viral incident with Detroit rapper Dank the Moss, who sued Lyft for being denied a ride based on her body size; her case sparked waves of discourse and revealed entrenched biases.
• Media Example: A young woman likens herself (jokingly) to a Shrek character; Twitter’s response quickly veers from lighthearted to teeming with fatphobic comments. [45:16–55:00]
• Insight: The internet is both empowering and brutal; participation comes with the risk of hateful commentary, especially for bodies outside the “norm.”

The Realities & Roots of Fatphobia

• Systemic Issues:
  • Fatphobia is socially engineered and deeply rooted in racism, sexism, and anti-Blackness.
  • From fashion to healthcare, body size is policed and marginalized, reinforcing exclusion and shame from an early age.
  • BMI as a measure is critiqued for its white-centered, arbitrary standards.
• Healthcare Discrimination:
  • Stories of medical professionals dismissing symptoms as “weight-related,” creating barriers to quality care—especially for Black women. [86:08–88:08]
  • Notable Book Recommendation: Sabrina Strings’ Fearing the Black Body traces the racist history of Western standards of thinness. [90:09]

Personal Experiences & Family Dynamics

• Hosts share candid experiences of parental and familial fat-shaming, illustrating how deeply internalized these standards are, and how cultural/community narratives shape self-worth.
  • Notable Quote: “It starts at home. That blood is on your hands as a parent.” – Dustin [67:51]
  • “You don’t have the license to speak to me in that way.” – Dustin quoting Maya Angelou [76:08]

Representation & Media Consumption

• Visibility of larger-bodied people thriving (e.g., the “Welsh Five” on TikTok) upsets society because it disrupts the narrative that fatness and joy are incompatible.
• Desirability politics: How fatphobia intersects with dating, media, and self-concept—especially for women and marginalized genders.

Strategies for Change

• Individual: Set boundaries with family and social media. Opt out of toxic spaces.
• Systemic: Push for more Black/POC representation in healthcare, fitness, and tech.
• Empathy: Reframe conversations, avoid lazy insults, and check personal motivations (e.g., when making health changes, is it for wellness or social approval?).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “As a person, I don’t look at a bigger bodied person and think ‘You’re big.’ We all look how we look.” — Dustin [66:38]
• “You can’t fat-shame people into being healthier. It’s just never going to work.” – Fran [89:00]
• “When you misuse or do not use language appropriately, it can promote stigma.” – Dr. James Rosser (via Assanté, referencing a TEDx talk) [100:00]
• “Fat people are made to feel invisible even when they take up more space.” – Assanté [99:25]

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Music & Media Recommendations

• Music Man Segment: New releases celebrated from Lizzo (embracing a pop-rock sound), Alex Isley, Shea Universe & Neo, K Flock, Dave East, Levin Kali, Rico Nasty, Brie Runway, Bryant Bliss, and more—heavy on self-love and resilience. [123:07–141:29]
  • Lizzo’s return: Applauded for her defiant presence and zero-f’s-given persona.
• TV: Shows highlighted include Beyond the Gates (a Black-led soap on CBS), Gross Point Garden Society, and Bad Only on NowThat’sTV—chosen for their diverse, Black women–driven narratives. [141:42]

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Community Wellness & Updates

• Wellness Segment: Hillman Talk, a viral "digital HBCU" education movement, went awry due to infighting and attempts at monetization—serving as a cautionary tale about collective action, credit, and the dangers of lost community vision. [111:30+]

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Closing Reflections

The conversation ends with the hosts reinforcing the importance of talking about stigmatized topics, centering empathy over judgment, and pushing back against social media’s worst impulses. Fatphobia, they urge, is a systemic and cultural problem that requires collective accountability, kindness, and authentic self-love.

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Detailed Timestamps for Key Segments

• Latasha Scott “tell it” intro and drama breakdown: [01:19–08:50]
• Flight/travel benefits and adult joys: [10:00–13:30]
• Women’s History Month & friendship tribute: [14:31–17:06]
• Black Business of the Week (Edam): [18:10–26:38]
• Listener recap & Beyoncé “deep cuts” chat: [32:18–38:09]
• Fatphobia, Dank the Moss, and social media hate: [41:28–55:00+]
• Parents/family, community dynamics: [66:38–76:08]
• Fatphobia in healthcare, BMI, and Sabrina Strings’ research: [86:08–93:33]
• Wellness section (Hillman Talk collapse): [111:30–122:45]
• Music Man & Listen Lately: [123:07–141:29]
• TV Land & community shoutouts: [141:42–146:45]

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Memorable Closing Quotes

"Fat people, because they take up more space, are sometimes made to feel invisible. And I don't like it. I will not be a party to it." – Assanté [99:25]

"You can't fat-shame people into becoming healthier. It's just never going to work." – Fran [89:00]

"You don't have the license to speak to me in that way." – Dustin [76:08]

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For conversation, connection, and the reality that ‘no one wants a musty brain,’ The Friend Zone remains a vibrant seat at the table—unafraid of heavy conversations and always centering care.

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Transcript

[A]

Vitamin water. Zero sugar has great taste. Zero bs and obviously zero sugar. For those with zero room in their calendar. Zero patience for slow walkers. Those who get zero hours of sleep on a Saturday night have zero filter, zero given and zero interest in grabbing a plain boring water.

[B]

Grab a delicious vitamin water.

[A]

Zero sugar today. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.

[C]

So I thought it would be fun.

[A]

If we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network's busy taxes and fees extra. See Mint mob.

[B]

Com.

[C]

Welcome to the friends.

[A]

My name is Dustin.

[B]

I'm Francesca, also known as. Hey, friend. Hey.

[A]

My name is Asante. This is the friend zone.

[B]

She gonna be mad at me for telling the story, but I'm gonna tell you.

[C]

Tell it, tell it, tell it, tell it. That's right. There was no one more appropriate to start the top of the show off with this week than Candy the Burris Tucker. Okay, because we're going to talk about Latasha Scott. And that was from Candy's. Well, more on that in one second. Well, that was from Candy's interview on Club Shaysay. Let the record reflect, because Candy, we. We know Candy is a woman of firsts. She likes to be the first and set records. She was the first woman female guest on Club Shay Shay. She was the first woman in Club Shay Shay. Yep. And so she did an incredible interview a couple years ago where she broke down some of the history of her, you know, time in the music business. Her and escape. And that's where that clip came from when cut, when Shay Shay was like, tell it, tell it. And she was like, you know, if I tell it, she gonna be mad. But I'm gonna tell it anyway. That's what we're gonna do today. We're going to tell it about Latasha Scott. Now, we all know that Latasha had fallen into obscurity of sorts. We hadn't heard from her in a while and we were happy, all of us. You know what I'm saying? That was just one less problem, one less bail to answer for all of us. But she showed up the other day on Tick Tock and Instagram. In a video where she did the Chris Brown residuals challenge, where people are covering his song residuals or whatever and putting their spin on it, Latasha does it. She steps up to the mic and she starts singing about how there were rumors about her husband Rocky having a baby, and she didn't know what to believe. And she said that her and Rocky have been broken up for two years now, and her heart's been broken, she's been in pain. She's only human. Let's play a snippet of it, shall we?

[A]

No.

[B]

Losing everything was rough talking. Family, marriage, My birthday. Had to give up on love. I gave up on love. Losing my sister was insane. Kicked out of my group, and it's insane. Everybody in the media was tearing me down. Only human. Since you've got my word, we gonna have some words about the residual.

[A]

Now.

[C]

This. The thing about people who lie, right? When you have had an opportunity, an opportunity to witness somebody lie not once, not twice, not three times, but consistently, right? It gets to a point where it can be Wednesday at 2pm and if they tell you that the sun is out, you're gonna say it's nightfall. You know what I'm saying? Because you just don't believe nothing that they have to say. That's where I'm at with Latasha Scott. And yet again, she's resurfaced with more lies. Y' all want to break it down? Okay, I will. Now, she literally starts off the song saying that they saying her husband had a baby and she don't know who to believe and who's lying. Well, I do. It's you. She said that her and her husband have been broken up for two years. The next day, okay, Tamika Scott, her sister, who she was singing about in that song, who she stole at least $30,000 in residual checks from, she called into the Ricky Smiley Morning show where the brat is a co host. And we know that she also has done several co hosting stints herself. Tamika Scott, over at the Ricky Smiley Morning Show. So they're like a family unit. Plus, remember, the brat and escape go way back to the beginning of days with so so death. So there's a close bond there. We also remember that during the height of the group's drama, Latasha Scott and her husband Rocky came onto the Rickey Smiley Morning show trying to explain their side of the story with that accusation of stealing the $30,000 plus. And the brat wasn't really open to what Latasha had to say. She was Challenging some of the things that she felt like were untruths that live on air while she was pregnant. So, you know, she ain't giving. Tamika's caught in the next day and told the brat and Ricky Smiley that her sister has not reached out to her. She said that at the end of that video, the way her sister jerked at the camera, she knew that she. It wasn't a. An open heart request for conversation. And she also, at the tail end of her interview said, oh, and by the way, she lying about her and her husband breaking up. And because my friend just told me that she keeps seeing Rocky jogging in front of her house, in front of Tasha's house in the morning. They still. She said they still together. No, she lying. She said they still together.

[A]

So.

[B]

So why do all this then?

[C]

Well, Tamika answered that question for us, too. Tamika said. She said, you know, my sister sounded great, which, you know, we not haters over here at the friend Zone. She sounds amazing. She sounds incredible. Beautiful voice. And also to her credit, another puss. She got rid of that blonde wig in the video. She's a booty.

[B]

So she was my favorite voice on Escape.

[C]

Yeah, she was her favorite voice on Escape too. She was Escape. And that's her problem. A lot of people love her voice.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But she gave them her ass to kiss. She gave them her ass to Kiss when she got that Motown gospel deal. Her album sold less than a thousand copies. And she. And she literally. And it just went away. Now she's in a. Now she's posting videos, cussing in her music again. You know what I'm saying? You can sing whatever kind of music you want to sing, but it further suggests fraudulent representation on her behalf. And so she's just a lion ass, you know, that's all she is. And this is more lies. They also caught up with no, y' all gonna wait because we're getting this out. That's her right there. She's always making loud noise to distract people with a loud, melodic audio. No. You know, so she's a siren. She sings. But they caught up with Candy Burris Tucker on the red carpet of the Essence Black Women in Hollywood event, which they have annually during Oscar week, where everybody who's anybody in the Hollywood circles, and if you're a black woman, it was even some men there. But, you know, you go, of course they caught Candy on the red carpet head to toe. Sergio Hudson. She looked incredible. Styled by Daniel Hawk, you know what I'm saying? And I asked her about it And Candy started laughing and said, you know, I thought it was funny in the song that she said she got kicked out the group. She said, we ain't kicking out the group. You left the group. And we all saw her do it. And do it in a haughty, arrogant, nasty, mean spirited way where she said she refused to perform with them. She was not kicked out the group. She also made videos making fun of Candy Burris singing voice on her tour bus, which funky Dineva said was repoed two days later. So the inconsistencies are glaring again, Latasha, we're not buying it. Your sister Tamika Scott, in her callback interview on the Rickey Smiley Morning show to rebut this video, said it was a great setup for the new music that she knows you have about to come out.

[B]

Oh, no, not a rollout.

[C]

Always an angle with her. Always an angle with that one. So once again, Latasha Scott, you're a liar. And it's so funny. She got a song called Liar, Liar. Foreshadowing. Foreshadowing at its best. With that being said.

[A]

Welcome.

[C]

Goodbye, Latasha. And you are welcome to the Friend Zone, your weekly look into all things mental health, mental wellness, mental hygiene. Because who in the hell wants to have to deal with lioness Latasha Scott and her husband, Rocky?

[A]

Tell me.

[C]

Hey, friend, how you doing?

[B]

How are you guys? How are your weekends?

[A]

The weekend was great. I do want to say I was very upset because, again, she did sound great, but I was listening to the words, and I was like, are you serious?

[C]

You twisted your lips to the side. You went.

[A]

I was. I was so upset. I sent it to a friend, and they weren't listening to the words, and they're like, she sounds great. And I'm like, yes, she sounds great. But do you see what she's saying, like. And they were like, oh, yeah. But so I just. It me up because, you know, I always say, get in the booth, like, you know, lotto. Unfortunately, this is not what I meant.

[C]

Of truth.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You know, again, the truth. That's what. That's what you told the truth booth.

[A]

Hey, yeah.

[C]

Not the truth Truth booth. It's not the booth getting the truth. Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, my weekend was great. I am. I have some news, but I don't know how to share it. I don't know if I want to share. It's nothing big or nothing crazy. I just want to shout out of my friends for hooking me up, I got me some flight benefits. Now that's all I'm going say, oh, that's huge. That's really all I want to say.

[B]

So, like, now listen, as adults, the. That excites us. Changes.

[A]

Listen, you know, y' all know I loves to travel, so just getting.

[C]

I was like you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I love that. That's such a theme, too. Cuz I just finally got a credit card that, you know, the Chase Sapphire Reserve. It has incredible benefits for travel. Like, I kept hearing about it. I finally bit the bullet, and already all my travel that I'm doing to the east coast next week was all free off points. So I'm there with you, King.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, that type of adulting just makes you feel.

[A]

Yes. Solid little things like that, you know, we got to find the little joys in this long lifetime we hope to have, you know, so we do. That was just a blessing to me, and I wanted to share that blessing. I just didn't know how to share it as a blessing. But I'm. I just feel so loved, you know, that's. That's the thing, that a lot of people, they have friends and family that will not give them the option. So to know that I could be counted in someone's number is just amazing.

[B]

And how. And what's the benefits of that? You get, like, discounted travel or free? Like, what is it?

[A]

Both.

[B]

Especially for you, because you do love to travel.

[A]

Some of the flights will be free. Some of the flights, I'm gonna have to pay some taxes on them, so nothing even. Right, Right. So.

[B]

And flights are expensive right now.

[A]

Did you get married? I absolutely did not. No, I absolutely did not. The ring didn't mean a thing. Okay.

[C]

I'm all about the plan. You know what I'm saying? So I ain't.

[A]

Listen, you know, to be honest with you on that front, if anyone ever does come around, it might just be that type of thing. It's like, all right, y', all. So I'm getting married with me.

[B]

Y' all would just start seeing the ring and be like, frank. And then you'd be like. And I'll go, and that's it.

[C]

Y' all gonna see me on 90 Day Fiance. We gonna have an arrangement. Okay.

[A]

Dustin, how was your weekend?

[B]

Yes. How was it?

[C]

My weekend was great. Shout out to everybody who bought tickets to my Comedy show on March 17th at City Winery. We are officially sold out. And because we sold out so fast, the good people at City Winery offered me a second show. So we open it up, we have a second show the same night, March 17th. Those tickets are on sale right now. So if you go to my bio on any of my socials and it'll.

[B]

Be underneath this episode as well.

[C]

Thank you. I already sent you the new link, friend.

[B]

Oh, okay. Please do.

[C]

But, yes. So if you are interested in coming and did not get a chance, I know there were many, many people. We had so much support on the wait list. So if you are a person who was on the wait list, there are tickets available right now for the second show, same night, March 17, here in New York City at Cindy City Winery. Thank you. I'm so excited and just grateful. Grateful outpouring and support. And I'm ready to talk. So click the link, y'.

[A]

All.

[C]

Thank you so much. And come with me. Pull up on me. Yeah, I'm exc. Excited. So y. That's it.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Well, what about you, friend?

[B]

My weekend was, you know, up and down. Still dealing with a lot. But the good thing is we finally are done as far as the old car, which is sad. They're literally coming to pick it up tomorrow.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

I fought them till the end. I was like, I'm not giving up nothing to not see that check. So, yes, they're coming to get it tomorrow. So that investigation is officially closed. And I showed the guys the potential new baby.

[C]

And it was a beautiful. I knew he was gonna have pretty kids.

[B]

The potential new one that we are thinking of. So it's, you know, progress, progress in the middle of mess and that you can appreciate that at least. So that was pretty much what my weekend was. Just looking at cars and closing this all out. Do you guys have any other announcements you want to get into before we jump in? Jump in.

[A]

Just Happy Women's History Month.

[B]

Happy Women's History Month.

[A]

Shout out to you, friend. Shout out to all of the sisters in our circle. You know, we got a bunch of doctors in the building. You know, we're still not going to leave out the healers that do amazing work. Friend. I'm g. Just give you a flowers because you're present. Because I want to start naming names and people feel left out. You have done so much. There are people that grow, but you've always just shown. Okay. You know what I'm saying? You've been honest. You have been, I mean, transparent to, like, the fullest. You have been super. What's the word that I'm looking for? I don't want to say careful, but you just been super. You've been very instrumental about how you. Intentional. Yes. But you've been very instrumental about the ways that you like Ordered your steps and the ways that you've helped other people. And I just really appreciate being along this journey with you, learning from you, growing from you. And you just doing that on a regular basis because you show up in ways that I wish I could show up. But you also empower me and you shine light on me and Dustin as well. And you've just been more. You've been more of a sister than my actual sisters. No shade. Y' all know, you know there's room for improvement, but I just wanted to give you some sort of acknowledgement because Black History month was up and down, but it's Women's History Month, so I want to give my sister spouse where I can.

[B]

I really appreciate that, Sante. Thank you. I need all the love right now because it's been a doozy of start to the year. So I'll take those flowers.

[C]

And I agree with all of that. And you're.

[A]

To be real with you. I always think back to. We have so many moments, but I always think back to that moment of you and Dustin meeting and where we.

[B]

Were at a protest, of all places. We're so real.

[A]

And the way that y' all were.

[C]

I remember what you had on everything.

[A]

Everything. I remember everything about that felt like if my life was ever a movie. That was like a really big moment.

[B]

That was such an indie moment, right?

[A]

That was such a big ass moment. I was like. And boom. Watching it all come together like magic.

[C]

And it did. I was like, I like this girl, she's like, you getting the jokes and shit. It was just great. I was like, yo, she. Where did she come from?

[A]

And Destin was somebody that I shared, like, deep, hearty, like, soul, like taking laughs with. So to see his emotion when he saw you, but his emotion of just like, like, I don't even wanna speak for Dustin, but the way that Dustin looked at you, I can only see certain thoughts of his. And it was just so dope watching him study you and take you in and be amazed by you and like, relate to you and fuck with you already. And like all y' all were doing was just looking at each other. I was like, this is magical.

[B]

It was such a rom com.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Literally, I was just like a friendship rom com.

[C]

Like, it was perfect. Perfect.

[B]

No, I love you both and I'm very thankful to get to work with y' all every week. When I see the relationships in. I'm thankful to work with you every week. I'll just say that both my hands. Lord, Lord, cover us all. Let's jump into the black business of the week. So there is a viral product, beauty product that I'm. That I have used before. It went viral just because I'm always testing out and grabbing stuff at Sephora. It's this really cute metallic tube, I guess you'd say, of lip balm. And I'm one of those people that's always testing lip balm. It's just a terrible, terrible habit to have. And I always end up going back to Vaseline. So it's like, I don't know why I play myself. But this one, let me tell you, very different product. It's called Edom E A D E M. It has a really cool metallic applicator too. What I didn't know this whole time was that a black woman and an Asian woman came together to create this brand.

[C]

Damn. Makes perfect sense.

[B]

Isn't that amazing? Not only that, but they have patented like melanin science. You see that smart melanin technology I had knew nothing about that. So I've had this product. For those of you that follow my Amazon shop, you see that this product has been there in my shop since probably late last year. But I just found out two weeks ago because of TikTok that this is a woman of color owned product. And it started because of Sephora. Do y' all pronounce this word? Do you say accelerate or Accelerate?

[C]

Accelerate.

[B]

Okay, because I realized that I was saying accelerate acceleration. Sephora, Accelerate. It's. They have this like incubation program and it helps founders in beauty, right? It helps them gain the support they need for like successful brand launches. It includes workshops, mentoring, and most importantly, funding.

[C]

That's so cool.

[B]

It's so cool. And they've used this program to help launch over 50 woman owned brands all over the world. They changed their focus to the commitment to help increase representation in Prestige Beauty and they focused the program on founders of color that year. Now the beauty in that is that the Accelerate accelerate class of 2021 is where they pushed Edom Good. And now Edam, you can barely find it as a for high demand. So I mean, I'm telling you, I have not been able to find it in a long time and I kind of hate buying it from Amazon because people be duping the hell out of products on there and if you don't really pay attention, you be ordering some from another country that you're like, and I don't play with skincare. Go ahead and dupe me with other shit. But skincare, I'm gonna be pissed at You. So I don't like buying it on Amazon if I can avoid it. Even though the one that I did list seems to be legit. Oh hey, mail carrier.

[A]

So she was waving at the birds.

[B]

So if to try it because you're probably not going to find it at Sephora, you can click the link on my Amazon shop. But honestly it's been sold out even there. So it might.

[A]

Which one was it again? The. The lip balm. The lip softening bottle.

[B]

The Leuchu, I think is how the Shishu. It's so cute though. They have like five different colors.

[A]

If you see which one you got.

[B]

Oh, I got. They have a five pack with the whole color.

[A]

Oh, so you got all of them?

[B]

All of them. But I mainly use the clear one. Honestly, you know, I'm not actually. You see a little bit of the color on my lip. For those of you watching, it's very subtle. It's like not anything too crazy. It's for people like me that we might not go super hard with colors on our face and pigments.

[C]

But you want coverage, but you want.

[B]

You know, a little.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To look demure. So. But when you go on edam.com you, you can still grab the lip balm and let me tell you guys, I like, I have tried every lip balm and sometimes y' all be gassing it on Tick tock and then I'll try it and I'll be so mad at you because I wasted the money because these lip balms don't be cheap. It'd be that little tube for like 30 bucks. But this is, this is amazing, y'. All. I love that she puts so good.

[A]

I love that she has compare shades and she's got different, different colored women's mouths under them.

[B]

Wearing the different shades, different skin colors, different like everything.

[C]

Tokyo Tony up there. No, she's trying on the black color.

[B]

But Marie Cuagio and Alice Lynn are the owners and they say that Edam is a beauty brand pioneering smart melanin beauty like Asante said. And these are products combining science backed ingredients and. And heritage botanicals. I love that. To effectively and gently care for skin of color. Edom is about us women of color telling our stories on our own terms through the lens of beauty. That's their slogan. So good. Right? I love that they're standing on that. There is for us, about us, for us all of the things. So if you want to check it out, it's Asante. You are cracking.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

He's on the site and making these.

[A]

Faces I found the five pack. I was all right, I found the.

[B]

Five pack and it's on sale. So that was the second badge you see. If you would like to check it out with Asante and make the same faces, it's Edam Co. That's E A D E M Co. Outside of the softening lip balm though, it is a full like comprehensive skincare line. They have toners, they have mistakes. They have a dark spot serum that's actually very popular. I actually think that was like the first product they had launched. They have ingrown relief serums, a brightening moisturizer, hydrating cleansing balm. They have face cloths that are specific to your regimen, scrunchies for pulling that hair back when you're about to do your night routine and travel minis. So they've thought about it all. You know what? That's.

[C]

So nightly, night after night.

[B]

So if you have. I'm sure those of you that are, that are in the scene of beauty already know this product. But like me, you just may have been unaware that.

[C]

Put them on game, friend.

[A]

Put them on game. Well, like me, thank you for putting.

[B]

Me on game because, and let me tell you, I kid you not, this is such a damn good balm. Like it's probably gonna be sold out forever.

[C]

Long lasting it is.

[B]

It's one of those that, that leaves your lips hydrated for the whole day. Like you don't have to put it on. You know how some of them you have to reapply literally probably every two hours, if that, if it even gives you two hours all day. So that tube is going to last you and it's $24, which I know is steep, but when you consider that you probably only applying it once or twice a day, it's gonna last you a long time.

[A]

Got me a five pack, so I'm gonna have.

[B]

Oh my God, how cute.

[A]

I'm about to give like two or three of them away.

[B]

You gotta FaceTime me. Show me the buildable shades, a couple of them shades.

[A]

I was like, okay, you know, I might like a little bit of this.

[B]

But you know, it'll look good with your skin tone, especially those plummy shades like the plum ones.

[A]

So yes, no comments.

[B]

Check them out if you haven't already. Like I said, they might be sold out on the Sephora app. They're definitely sold out at Sephora. Definitely sold out on Amazon, which is beautiful. Honestly, I'm excited for them. And what about it?

[A]

Right from the website.

[B]

Okay, eat them up, eat them and you should definitely go to their website to grab it because it is still available there. So just. That's the black business of the week. Very excited to highlight them. I think they're doing amazing. I'm excited that they came from this Accelerate program because that's cool. You see those programs and you never think like, like they actually really getting it done.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

So it's nice to see this.

[C]

I'm on their website now. This is nice. Give me some of that. I smoke weed. Let me see.

[B]

And, and right, that's what I'm like.

[A]

You know what's cool?

[B]

It's an actual lip treatment too. So it's not just a bomb. Like it's a lip treatment. It exfoliates too. So if you got some dead skin that you.

[C]

This ain't just a bomb. It's the Gilead. Yeah, I'm with this.

[B]

It's also, it's also considered a lip mask. So if you just want to put it at night before bed so you wake up with the little soft kissable lips. And then of course it has what they call the reflective sheen. So that gives you that lip gloss.

[C]

That's the N95 in it. Lip mask. It's the Sheen 95.

[B]

So it has everything. And I think that's why it's so good and why we're all obsessed with it because it's doing everything for your lips. A lot of these balms actually make your lips feel worse. You're like, your lips are ashier, you're constantly reapplying. Then after a while you're like, yo, my lips are like affected negatively. So check it out. And that's it for the black business of the week.

[C]

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[B]

Let's jump into the recap segment last week's episode titled the Embattled Housewife. Thank you, Dustin Ross. We talked hot topics and those of you listening had a lot to say. Who stood out to you? Asante.

[A]

I actually don't have a hot listener chosen for that this moment.

[B]

Okay, what you got for us?

[A]

I just would like to offer, you know, I don't want to steal Dustin segment segment in these streets, but I had three different people send me a particular tweet because they thought of me and I thought that I was special.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

So I just wanted to share something with you all. Years ago, Beyonce had some B sides released. Anyway, there's this gentleman that is singing Green Light goes off the second best song on B day for a reason and he just has on it when your wife is Beyonce's number one fan. I just wanted to shout those people out that sent that to me and the people that also sent out to me. Beyonce's backup. Are you familiar with the song Back Up? I think I've discussed it.

[C]

Coming back up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the people that were in the backup hive.

[B]

I would say, oh, y' all are.

[A]

Historians, because that is really the key, because there are so many random tracks. They were talking about her Cowboy Carter tour, how they want to hear certain songs that she just. That would never happen, that she definitely would never before. And I just wanted to take them.

[C]

I want to hear a worldwide woman that was the jam.

[A]

Maximize your full potential.

[B]

I used to love that y' all have the be have buzzing, you know, she was like.

[C]

Hell, I want to hear. You are my rock, baby. You're the truth. Oh, I'm poison. Poison.

[A]

A lot of people. People don't know. A lot of people didn't get there. That's what. See, this is a magic moment, and it should have been safer music, man. But I want to shout it at the top because a lot of people are like, there are just so many tweets that I send you, and you don't highlight or acknowledge. I'm like, I'm not going to do it a regular thing, because it's hard to do.

[B]

It's a lot of other people sending tweets, man.

[A]

The tweets go by so fast. Sometimes I screenshot. Sometimes I've screenshotted a lot of things, and so then it's hard to scroll through all of the different things. Social media's fault. I'm sorry, guys. I'm terrible at it. I was going to look through comments, but I was like, I got to remember to talk about this Beyonce thing because somebody had annoyed me. They were like, you always talk about backup, so I had to send you this. And look at this on Green light, because you always talk about Green light. Because I always just talk about. I hate that I'm standing out of control right now. Crystal, if you're listening, you love you. I just always talk about, say, just be going the up on these songs. So in these. So Green Light particular friend, you know, you can hear Beyonce just continuously going the off. So Back up was one of those songs where Beyonce is just high the entire time when you see her. And I got my backup, and she just keeps going up, and then she's rapping for a little bit. So there was just a lot of switches going on and back up. But it was still a real don't with me, I'm that bitch song, which, you know, we love to hear.

[B]

This is a chaotic Beyonce era.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

It was a B day.

[A]

It was a beside. Yeah, got it. Yes. So that those things happen. But a lot of. Never mind. Those things happen. I was gonna say a lot of releases were chaotic because why does she have that Spanish version of.

[C]

Oh, that was during the time when lost your mind was out, remember? Yeah, yeah, Lost show mine.

[B]

You know who y' all need? Y' all need Shari. Shout out to us.

[C]

Oh, shout out to Shari.

[B]

Shari would be singing all these songs anytime we. We get together in one of our, like, girl trips. We. I shouldn't say we. She makes us sit down and watch every Beyonce performance known to man. Ones that I've never seen. She finds the most obscure, like, tours, but I'm like, but it wasn't a tour. It was, you know, like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I'm like, wait, where was this? What country is this? Like, she's just one of those people.

[A]

I have to uplift our sister. Because those are the Beyonce moments that are like the most magical. Like watching her perform with Destiny's Child, like at the Sports Illustrated thing. Like, there's just certain things and then watching Beyonce just like amping it up at certain times, or Michelle really showing up and showing out. Like, there were just like little things. Like when they were performing say my name, I forget where, but she's like, say Beyonce. And then she starts singing the other girls names. It's like these are just moments where Beyonce just be going the Offshore.

[B]

The historians.

[A]

Yes. So this one's for you, Shari. But that's it for what I wanted to share. How about you, friend? What did you find out there in those streets?

[B]

Speaking of musical historians, so. So Cray in the Patreon street said as a friend zone historian and love you to death.

[A]

Oh, Lord.

[B]

Hold on. They said Asante did play Times it by two by Annie Tracy and Dustin followed with Music taste and the carnival around her being a music coach. So I knew that you played it when y' all said no last week. I was sitting here like, am I losing it? Because I know you picked.

[C]

It's not crazy.

[A]

I was looking to it, but we all be playing the same music. And there have been times I know it'll happen that way because the music be good and it comes into contact.

[B]

And then we like each other.

[A]

Music and the algorithm.

[B]

So I kid you not. I have. I have just. I love that song. It's one of those songs I'm just so grateful you brought into my world. So thank you so Cray, for making me not feel.

[C]

You ain't cray. I'm so cray. I'm a clear.

[B]

I love that they said as a friend zone, this story. And that really works.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

We appreciate you.

[B]

We really love you. So catch. That's it for me this week. What about you, Dustin? What'd you find in the Twitter street, man?

[C]

I seen this today and almost passed out. Page six. Page six said comedian Bruce Valanche. Now, y' all know what Bruce Valanche looked like, right? He wears them little red glasses and he got like a Chinese bang in the bob.

[B]

I need to look him up.

[C]

Bruce B V I L A N C H. Bruce N, C H. Yeah. Bruce Valanche. When you see him, you'll know him. You've seen him before, right? So why Page Six gonna say comedian Bruce Valance says people have mistaken him for Travis Kelce's mom, Donna. And they put a picture of.

[A]

Look.

[C]

Oh, when I tell you.

[B]

No, no, this.

[C]

This for the. On Patreon. When I tell you. Oh, no, I gotta fix it. I gotta fix it. I gotta get it back. But yes, when I tell you I was dying. Look at this.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yo, mama. Travis. Kelsey.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I know she's so sick. I know she's at home sick that people are talking about.

[C]

But when I tell you that shit was funny to me. That was funny to me. But, yeah, that's it for me this week. We could just leave it right there another moment. I do want to bring up one more thing. Shout out to Yasha Ali at Yashar, who quoted a video from, you know, the Oscars were just this past weekend and they posted a video because Demi Moore was nominated for Best Actress and she was actually, you know, favored to win. It was. It was an upset. She just won the Golden Globe. Like she was on track to win.

[B]

Right, right.

[C]

She lost. And so. But on the red carpet, Whoopi Goldberg, who was there presenting this year, too, they presented, I think it was the Quincy Jones tribute. Her and Oprah took the stage to present, but Whoopi was on the carpet. You know, Whoopi is an Academy Award winner. She's always at the show in a beautiful gown, too. But it was a moment where her and Demi Moore were hugging and greeting each other on the carpet. And we know they were famously in the film Ghost together, which is what Whoopi won her Academy Award for. And so Yasha Ali quoted the video with one of Whoopi's famous lines from that film, which was, molly, you in danger, girl. I thought that that really had. That really tickled me. I tickled me. That's it. That's all I got this week. I thought that was such a moment.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

That means that we can jump into this week's episode.

[A]

All right, y'. All. So I wanted to talk to you about a few things. I want to have a serious conversation with you all, but of course I want going ahead and tell the audience that we are not a serious people. There are going to be times that I laugh. There are times that things might be made out of what potentially might seem as bad taste. But what I urge you to consider is that this is a podcast where we are three friends having a conversation. We want to normalize having certain conversations amongst you and your friends. So you find that we have missteps. We are not professionals. We want to encourage you all to do better, and we are still working to be our best selves as well.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Along with that, I have a intention around having this conversation that I want to have. There are a few different things that have been happening on the interwebs. There's always something. Some. Something's always happening in life anyway. But I wanted to discuss fatphobia this week.

[B]

Oh, let's do it.

[A]

I know that phobia is something. It's a word that I've always just been like. Like, I don't know. It's always made me uncomfortable. I've always had body issues. I've always seen other people struggle with body issues that have been smaller than me, bigger than me, people that have got their shit together, people that have always had their together. So I've run the gambit. I realized that everyone's experience isn't the same. And so I don't want to. I don't want anyone listening to listen, hear something and just be like, well, that's not me, or I don't do that, or whatever. I just urge you all to just consider how you approach certain things when dealing with certain people. And again, this is in the serious realm. If it's around where someone has disrespected you and all bets are off, then, you know, say what the you got to say and do what you got to do. I can't tell you I'm not going to referee none of that. But to the point of just my intention of doing a better job of treating people well and also being inclusive. One of the things that I love about presenting on this show is presenting or talking about communities that we don't really hear from or hear about. Or sometimes hot topics and hot button issues that we hear about often just approach from a different angle. Like, one of the things that made me think about this topic off rip was the recent incident with the the Detroit rapper trying to get her lift.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Dank the Moss.

[A]

Isn't that the moss? Yes, that is her name. Dank the Moss. Her name is Deja Blanding. She filed a lawsuit against Lyft alleging weight discrimination. Apparently, January 18, 2025, she requested a Lyft ride to attend a football watch party. And upon arrival, the driver refused her entry, stating that she was too large to fit in the backseat and expressing concerns about his vehicle's tires supporting her weight. He suggested she book a larger Lift XL instead. Blanding recorded the encounter and shared it on social media, where it quickly went viral. Now, one of the things about this incident going viral where a lot of people were just saying like, well, look at her, and I think that it still deserves a conver. There's a conversation that really deserves to be had a about how we treat people of any size and how we react to people. Because I feel like it's unfair sometimes to just look at people and be like, oh, they deserve xyz or to just be like, it's okay to ridicule for whatever reason. And upon some research, I was seeing that fatphobia is actually deeply rooted in racism, which obviously everything is. I just think that the effects of it. We don't look at how it lands today or how it can affect other people. Because if we do want to say, oh, you know, I think there's research that shows how obese a lot. How a lot of Americans are obese. I don't have the numbers. I don't want to make none up. So if a lot of Americans are obese and we want to do something about it, there has to be healthier ways to promote people getting healthy versus badgering people or reinforcing certain stereotypes. So that's why I wanted to kind of offer up this conversation. Again, it's a serious conversation, but again, we can go as light about it as we want to. But it's still something very real that I want to acknowledge for our listeners and discuss. I was laughing at the top of this. I don't know if any of it's gonna be put in because we were talking about fan bros. Shout out to fan bros. There was a creator on Twitter or x I H R T Z E E R O N I she retweeted someone talking about a character on Shrek. Are you familiar with Shrek? The movie? The cartoon movie?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I guess there's a sequel. Okay. Shrek is Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy was the voice of the donkey. You know, Shrek. Apparently there was a sequel to this. A cartoon sequel, obviously. And someone tweeted they gave Shrek a lesbian daughter. Anyway, this creator. And there's pictures of this character. So this creator retweets the character and says, she's literally me. And she shows a picture of her side by side to the character where she looks like the. The character. So this is the Shrek photo, and this is the young girl basically saying, like, oh, my God, that's me.

[B]

So she tweeted this herself.

[A]

She tweeted this herself. Okay, now, friend, do you have something you want to offer about that point before I actually move on? Because there is something to be said about that, right?

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. There is something to be said about it.

[B]

Wait, what about her tweeting that about herself?

[A]

I mean, I'm asking you because you. You are asking for clarification. So I'm trying to. I want to know if there was like, you know.

[B]

Well, no, I asked because it would have been like, weird, right? Because, you know, Twitter.

[A]

Not even Twitter.

[B]

Yeah, The Internet has a habit of taking pictures of people, innocent people that have no idea what's going on. Nothing to do with it. Yeah. And making them go viral. Imagine. Imagine that as well. Against their own bill. So I didn't know if this was one of those situations, but if she tweeted it herself, I mean, and I saw the next tweet when you posted it, it said, like, dang, people can't take a joke or something. So I guess she's even unhappy with the. The responses to the thread it created.

[A]

So some of the responses were very supportive of the photo because the reason I mentioned.

[C]

Yeah, that do look like you.

[A]

Well, yeah, like somebody. So somebody said, well, somebody said that you are so gorgeous and you should totally get Shrek ears. A headband. It would be so cute. And then the girl responded, said, wait, you might have just gave me my Halloween costume for this year. So it's like, she knows that. Yeah, she's having fun with it. And the reason that I mentioned fan bros is because, you know, basically that's not her real hair color. So she probably thought that. That. And she might have watched the movie and thought that the character was cute. And so she was probably paying her reference to the character.

[C]

Well, I don't know. We don't know. You know what I'm saying? It's a picture of her with a hair color because that's what the real similarity is. The facial features of that character and her are not similar. She just is a heavier said woman. And she has a exact hair color and actual curl pattern in the hair as that character. So it looks strikingly similar. Similar. And if she posted it, I don't know why. Why it ended up going into a damn discourse. Like, she posted a picture of herself laughing, joking, like, damn, this literally me, right? Should have laughed and kept going. It's not a think piece where she requires now an outpouring of lifting up everything. She posted this. It's not that deep. Like, why are people taking this all the way across Route 66, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

The thing is she. The thing is it goes from her posting something where she's just, you know, trying to be cute or have fun to people saying, oh, you look ugly, or this isn't cute, or you should take that off.

[C]

Well, it's the Internet. Yeah. And it's Twitter. And unfortunately people are pieces of.

[A]

But that, I mean, they gave me.

[C]

That time when, when that years ago when I was like. They had put. They were talking about Whoppers being like 99 cents or 59 cents or something. And I was. I tweeted like 59 cent whoppers where they. For days they were saying AutoZone, the Salvation Army. They was just naming random places like it was such a stupid question that I had asked, you know what I'm saying? I laughed and kept it moving. I remember back then, you Asante even like just tweet through it. Tweet your website at the time. That's how long ago this was. At the time XD and I were working on my website. No, XD and I were working on my website, my branding. We posted that. So that's what the Internet does. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Like, yeah, and it comes with the territory picture. But I agree that the fat phobia specifically is always going to take a turn regardless of if the girl is posting that, she's excited, happy.

[C]

They don't take it to a dark place always.

[B]

So I do get that part too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just like always becomes a punching bag on Twitter.

[A]

People called her ugly. They dragged her through the mud. And then there was another creator who actually recreated the same photo.

[C]

As the girl or as a Shrek girl.

[B]

The Shrek girl.

[A]

As the Shrek girl. And a lot of people retweeted and she probably from what was seen because you know, you can't see everybody, you know you can't see everybody replies. But not to make it any lesser or lighter, but she basically was shown that this girl was celebrated for her.

[C]

Look.

[A]

Because to you they probably both look stupid. That's why it's like they're both, they're both dumb. Like I know how you are. So.

[C]

No, what it is is the hand on the chest because she's facial expression. Not her, her. I'm talking about the Shrek character. When I see a Shrek character with her hand on her chest and making that face, it's funny. And so when to see a person doing that same place, it's funny. Why is this like so maybe that was any deeper.

[A]

It's just maybe that was a cute moment in the movie and the girls connected to it so they recreated like, you don't know what she said in that scene. She could have ate that.

[C]

Why can't you ladies have fun on the Internet doing it?

[A]

Well, to Yalls larger point, the Internet is a terrible place. So it's like give everything.

[C]

You can't as a the creator or whatever. If you post some like that, you can't give in to that part of the discourse because you give it power.

[B]

And you amplify and you'll never post again.

[C]

Never. Like if people say negative things, you really can't even pay. You can. You have an opportunity to block them, you have an opportunity to mute them. There's measures in place to like shut down that part of the noise and anybody would be affected by it. Strangers telling them they're ugly. You know what I'm saying? That can't feel good for anybody. But at the same time, you know that that risk is there when you post. You know it. I talk about, you know, I work with OWN and Kingdom Rain Entertainment and I offer commentary on the shows. People don't like what I have to say a lot and it gets back to me from my friends or other people. They'll screenshot different comments and, and send it to me. And although I hate it and would love to to say vulgar, horrible things about their mothers, fathers and children. You know what I'm saying? I, I don't, I just don't even worry about it. And it's not a part of my this I'm not gonna create now as the creator, as the person who put the content out there, you know, I'm saying when people opine on it, that's just what they're doing to me. So I think a lot of times people give this fuel because they just want. Want engagement. They just want to be seen and retweeted or whatever. And so they'll offer commentary on a social aspect or an emotional take angle from a situation that literally has no depth in the first place.

[A]

So what's the part that you feel has no depth? Because. Because that's literally. Because what you just said is literally what I am doing. Like I'm adding that to this conversation.

[C]

No, it's not. That's not what I said. Because what you're doing is facilitating a produced conversation about something related to what you saw on a show that you own and operate weekly, where conversations like this are facilitated. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is the people on Twitter who will see that. Who will. Who get paid off of clicks and engagement and will see that people are discussing something like fat people or colorism or gays or women's rights or something that's a sensitive hot button topic and will try to piece together a dialogue about that from something that is completely unrelated. Which is what I'm talking about. Those who will throw bricks and throw not bricks, but throw branches and onto the fire to amplify a conversation about now people being wrong for saying that they look like an in people. Now we're talking about the fact that people on the Internet go in the comments of a post that was intended to get a laugh for her and the that follow her. So we not talking about. That's two totally different things completely.

[A]

Yeah. It's just sad that you can't because I understand, like social media is not a safe space for anyone. Like there's no place where you can go and just get. I mean, I guess if you put it behind a paywall you could get all yeses. But even then you got people that hate pay for whatever reason. So thank you for that. But I think that that because, you know, I still live in my delululemon. Like why does that happen? Like, why can't people just post and because in this situation, she just posted on her timeline about something. It's not even like she decided that she was gonna go out and you know, or add anyone specific or just put pictures of her body up. It was literally just like her posting a selfie and that happening. But then I go back to the dank the moss thing. She literally just ordered a lift and Wanted to get from point A to point B. And then it turns into, you know, when she was on the Breakfast Club. And I hate that I'm even referencing this. I think the gentleman that was with her dank demos, she showed up to the Breakfast Club for an interview and they talked to her about, you know, her rap career, the incident, her health. And at one point in the conversation, I think somebody that was with her says, the Lyft driver wouldn't have turned. It turned, turned them away if it was, you know, four or five bad bitches. But because he saw one big girl, you know, he wasn't with it. And then everybody was like, oh, you know, that, that, like, that was like the one kind of crack in the combo where everyone was like, oh, that. That is a good point. That is a fair point. And it was like, I just want to reframe how people like not even to look at her and say, I want them to insult her differently. If you're going to insult, like, I just want people to reframe when they come at certain people about certain things, especially when these issues are kind of tied into, when they don't mean shit. Like, if a girl is bigger than you or whatever, then why does that matter?

[C]

But the only pushback I have, right, the only pushback I have specifically in the Dank demise situation, because I agree with everything you're saying. The, the, the only difference here, the only notable circumstance here is that we're is specifically about her weight. That's what the conversation is about. It's not like Dank Dimas was in the headlines, or we, we know her from her music, you know what I'm saying? Or from other things that are completely not related to her weight. Dank Damas introduced herself to the masses of the world by sharing the video of the Lyft driver straight up discriminating against her, right? And then creating a conversation about that. And then she went on to speak in media outlets about that. So that's what the conversation is about when people are speaking about Dank Dimas prior to that Lift Infinite incident, that's different, right? Because then you aren't speaking about a matter connected to her weight, unless that's what you chose to do. You get what I'm saying? But when people are discussing the incident of the Lyft driver refusing to pick her up because of her size, that's what the conversation is about. You get what I'm saying? So it's not like this is a different circumstance to me, because that is the origin of the conversation connected to her. You get what I'm saying? So it's like that's what we're talking about is her size and whether or not people feel that. I feel like he discriminated against her personally because there was a way to offer a solution without doing things the way that he did it. Right. But that's the conversation that people are having. It's directly correlated to and in alignment with her side. That's the discourse. You know what I'm saying? So in her case, it's a little different to me.

[B]

And also fat phobia is socially engineered. Like, I am always shocked when I see the kids, you know, so young and they already know to have those types of jokes and what it means and how harmful it is. Young kids too. I'm talking about young. Like started talking. Yeah. And calling each other fat and knowing that. That what that means and that it's gonna hurt you if I say this. And even you go to a store, what's the sizes go up to? What do the mannequins look like? You go to the doctor, you can't even tell the you got pain somewhere without them telling you to lose weight first. If you have weight on you. That or what do they call the bmi that you're obese. Even the bmi, you being obese because your body is not modeled after like a white woman size. So everywhere you go in society, that's shopping, that's the doctor, that's it don't matter. It's like, oh, even the airplanes, right? That's been another discourse. The space on which those seats are crushing anybody at this point, anybody. I mean, they're so uncomfortable because they're just caring about how many people they can fit in and not how comfortably you can sit in your seat forever. Regardless of how long the flight is. They don't care. My knees touch the other seat and I'm five, six, which makes me think of someone that is six feet and up or. You know what I mean? And so I consider. I like that's not a consideration. And it becomes a joke when people are like, oh, you have to get the seatbelt extender. You know, it's like this. This how we live is not. Not considerate of different body types. And not only consider it, but there's a hatred. Yes, there's a hatred. There's mistreatment. I was watching. I don't know if you guys have seen the viral videos on Tick Tock. They call themselves the Welsh Five. It's those five it's these is. It's really six of them, but it's like these six people from the UK and all, and they are obsessed with American culture, and so they just travel to different cities.

[A]

Oh, wait, I think I've seen a couple of them eat.

[B]

But, like, I think I've seen, like.

[A]

The guy and the girl, because they used to play, like, Heads up, seven up, and they were playing the best friend game or whatever. They knew each other's references, maybe that I don't know.

[B]

But it's like a crew. It's a crew of friends, and they are all big, and all they love to do is just go to Wingstop, Popeyes. They just love American trashy food. And they sit there and they call everything stunning. They'll be like, stunning. It'll just be like wings. They call everything lush. That's lush. You know, and they have, like, these cute little slangs. It's such good. I think they're gonna get a TV show. It's just good. They started in New York, which was amazing, and then they. Their second season, as they call it, was in Orlando, and they're headed to Vegas next. And so it's like a fun group of friends. And all they do is eat. And all you see in the comments, mind you, these kids are having fun. They're. They're laughing. In every video, you can tell that they are living their best life right now.

[C]

You're making me want to lift them up and follow them.

[B]

It's so good. It's Charlie. Ann is my personal fave because she's just funny. But all of them are really funny. And they're all comedians. You can tell because they just know how to command your attention. I have been so invested in their trip. They post daily to show you today, you know, we're going to, like, in New York. They were going to, like, pizza shops, and people were telling them to check out, and they went, you know, and got the magnolia. You know, the pudding, the banana pudding. Like, they did all the classic New York food shit. So I really enjoy them. But it was awful to see how their comment section just veered off into so much negativity. When these are people having fun, they.

[C]

Don'T give a what y' all think in the first.

[B]

And I love that they don't even acknowledge it because they are with their friend group, getting paid to travel, you know, traveling, having a blast, living off of this. This is their career, and they're having a great life blast. And, you know, a lot of times I think that does anger people too when they see a bigger person living their best life and not being broken.

[C]

Down somewhere sad and not being sad.

[B]

Especially with all that's coming towards them. I love almost that they don't acknowledge it because it's just not their reality. Their reality is a completely different one, a great one that they're enjoy. And I think that angers people because society is engineered to hate you. You're not supposed to be having fun. And you know, I, I think of that. I. Even with the, when I had gained weight over the pandemic, it put me in a position where there are things that I had not been fully aware. Like I knew that people could not everyone could go to a store and just shop. Like I was aware. But it's a very different thing now when like you're experiencing it. When I'm like going in the store to get jeans and you're standing there like, oh shit, I can't shop here. Like, so where do I go shop? And just starting to have that conversation with people around you. And then when you can't shop in a store, a quote unquote regular store, where do you shop? And then those random shops that do have your size, they're not like cool, right? Or stylish or, or a way for you to express yourself as a bigger bodied person, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's just not designed to accommodate. It's not designed to make you feel good or thrive. Obviously. Media, let's not even get started on media. Commercials, magazines, models. Like it's socially engineered. And I see it, especially with how young. It starts with the kids teasing each other. When I see the little, little, little, little kids in the park when I would take the boys in the summer. Fat is the first insult that flies out of every kid's mouth whether you're fat or not. Which is the interesting part.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I've had to check them sometimes they'll say to each other and I'm like, what does that mean? Like, what is that? You know what I'm saying?

[C]

So it's interesting, I only call people fat when I'm arguing. When they're skinny, you know what I'm saying? It's like if I'm arguing with a skinny, I'm like, so fat ass. I'll say something, you know what I'm saying? Like that because I know it'll piss them off because it's not, you know what I'm saying? Opposite. But to me it's a lazy, you know how I am when it comes to insults, when it comes to being critical of others, you know, where, when it's warranted to me, I just hate like a lazy pass at it, low hanging fruit, easy insult me personally, I'm an openly gay man. So the first thing a lot of people gonna do is call me a, you know what I'm saying when it, when it's time to talk about me or insult me to make you feel something, you know, to try to make me feel some kind of way. I see that coming on. Just like if I'm around some Trump supporting MAGA people, first thing they call me is a, you know what I'm saying? Like I already know that I know what's coming, you know what I'm saying? And so I just think it's lazy. I think it is counterproductive. Right. I don't want to live in a world where people are not confident and where people don't feel good about who they are. I like being around strong, happy people. I like being around fulfilled people. And I would love to live in a world where everybody felt that way and nobody felt down about physical attributes or physical characteristics, you know what I'm saying? Unfortunately, that's not the reality. But that's the world I would like to live in. So although I talk about how people look every day, I don't, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't do that from a place of trying to purposely tear somebody down. Now if you fuck with me, yeah, I'm a, you already know. It's no we on the floor at that point. But I'm not the type of person who is going to see that picture. That girl who said this is me about the Shrek character, you know what I'm saying? I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't even, I would not look at that picture and have the thought, oh, she does look like her. Let me go in the comments and call her fat. When I saw the picture, what made the two people look similar was the hair and the pot. I didn't even think that's a color and the style. Yeah, I didn't even think that. But that's not what I'd be on, you know, exactly. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not approaching it from that angle. I don't feel that way when I look at people. I don't look at a person who is a bigger body, who. I don't look at fat people and think, oh, you're big. That's not what comes to my mind when I see it, you just look how you look, just like I look how I look.

[B]

Look.

[C]

We all look how we look. All of our weight fluctuates. I got a big ass head, you know what I'm saying? Like people just, we look how we look and I don't look at you and think you're fat. And now that means I'm gonna try to make you feel, you know, this is not where I'm coming from. So.

[A]

Absolutely not.

[C]

When people are like, you can identify it. When people are like that, you can identify it immediately. I think it's lazy, I think it's sad, and I think that is tired and. But I also understand that it's something that's never, never going to cease. As long as people are raising their children and calling them fat when they get mad at them, as long as people are blacking out on other people in moments of anger and saying they fat in front of their little children, they're going to learn that behavior, mimic it and bring it out into the world. Fat phobia, homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, all that starts in the home. Because even if it don't take place inside your, inside your home, if your children are in environments where they will be exposed to those sort of entities and you're not working to inform your children what that is before they even go in, you're not explaining what that is, explaining why it's wrong and something you shouldn't do, then that blood is on your hands as a parent.

[B]

So it starts at home.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

Until people start making that change. Picked on at home by your parents, if not your siblings, whatever. And because the parents are the leaders and the responsible figures in the home, be it a single parent household, a two parent household, even you poly, if it's six of y' all raising them children, hey, you need to do your job and, and inform your children first of all what homophobia is, what fat phobia is, what body positivity is. You need to inform them what these things are, of what these things are, Tell them that they're not good things, tell them that body positivity is a good thing and why, you know what I'm saying? And work to, to kind of quell that and to lessen the likelihood of them being that way to other people. That's where the problem starts. But if you are to go back to my original point, we also have responsibility as creators, right? If you know you can't handle like that, okay? If you know that you are A person who emotionally can't take it or might even just don't want it, might even not want to manage those emotions. Right?

[B]

Just opt out.

[C]

Opt out. Either post it and limit the number of people that can reply to it. There are things that. Measures that you can put in place to try to lessen it as far as it depends upon you. You need to do that. Especially if you know, you a motherfucker that can't ignore all that ridiculous, unwarranted and unfair commentary from strangers. If you know that you can't ignore that, use the method, the measures that you have in place to lessen it it or else don't post.

[B]

Yeah, I. I can't say that I don't see weight because especially as a young girl growing up, that's all you see. And. And even our own parents, like, I had to check my mom. Love you, Mom. I know you're listening, but I had to check her when I had gained weight because I'm like, not you coming like my own parent. And you know, and it'll be so subtle with her because my mom. Isn't that that helicopter mom either, or. No, they call it an almond mom. That's the. The term for it. The mom that just eats almonds. Because she's not that either, but she's still a Caribbean woman. So things would come out. Like when we were at a dinner once and the. The waitress was like, you get a side? Do you want fries or a salad? And I said, fries. And my mom said, you sure? And I looked at her and I said, yes, I'm sure. And she was like, and. And I could tell she was gonna keep it going, but when she saw my face.

[C]

Reaction. Yeah.

[B]

She was like, let me chill, you know? Cause she knows I'm gonna tell her how I feel. Like, do not do that to me. If I've gained weight, do you think I don't see that I have gained weight? Like, what are we doing right now where you're trying to make me feel away in a roundabout way? I almost rather you just talk to me about it, ask me about it. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I appreciate it not to, but at least we have in the comments about me, you know what I'm saying? I talk about this with Kia all the time because your parents will keep these bullies. And a lot of times it's intentional, and then sometimes it's not. It's the programming where they almost don't even know that they're doing it. And it just comes out, which I think is more of my mom's side of things, because she's also someone who was thin pretty much her whole life. And then as an older person gained weight, you know, and now she's lost it. So weight has been a thing that she has been. That's been at the forefront of her mind, you know, so it's. So my weight is at the forefront of her mind as well. You go to see your family, what's the first thing they say to you? Damn, you got big. And then if you're small, you need to eat something. I remember when I was on YouTube and my cousins, if I came over, they'd be like, well, you know, she's on her white girl shit, like whether I was vegetarian or vegan. And they'd be like, girl, you need to eat. Like, then I got bigger girl, somebody putting on weight. It's like, you can't fucking win, right? You sign up for something, forget about it after the trial period ends, then you're charged month after month after month. And it's even worse when you're not realizing it's happening. The subscriptions are there, but you're not even using them half the time. And in fact, I just learned that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month. Thanks to Rocket Money, I can see all of my subscriptions in one place and cancel the ones I'm not using anymore. And now I'm saving way more money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. Easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track, and you can see your monthly spending trends in each category. To know exactly where your money is going, get alerts if bills increase in price, if there's any unusual spending activity, or if you're close to going over budget. The new goals feature automatically saves money for you so you don't have to think about it. Pay off credit card debt, put away money for a house, or just build your savings because Rocket Money makes it easy. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com zone today that's RocketMoney.com zone new vitamin water, zero sugar.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[C]

Yeah, at this point in my.

[A]

Life.

[C]

Too, and, and everybody knows it, like, I love my family to death. I'm fiercely loyal to my family. And y' all know that, you know what I'm saying? But like, me and my brother and sister don't talk to each other like that. You know what I'm saying? Or, like, I can say, I can tell them, like, oh, it looks like you put on weight. Or they could tell me that, but it wouldn't feel like no jab. You get what I'm saying? We would be talking about it, and I'd rather that. But I'm not ever going to be the uncomfortable person in the room when it comes to my family marriage on any level of my life. So, like, I'm at a point where if you tell me, oh, Dustin, you know, you too skinny, I'll be like, well, you want me to be big as you or big as your daughter or something? You know what I'm saying? I'll say it back so that they'll realize what they said was rude. And you said, you can't. You don't have a. I'm on my Maya Angelou. You don't have the license. You don't have the license. You don't have the license. That, that hit me for real. You don't have the license to speak to me in that way. Also, this shows you the value of reality television because on season two of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Cordell Stewart's XY ex baby mom. Well, current baby mama, ex wife, first wife Tanya. Okay. She was a friend of Sheree Whitfields and Nene and them were calling her skinny. And she looked at Nene and she said, I got room to grow. She's like, I'd be your size one day. And Nene was cut to Nene in the confessional. She was like, like, what size? That what you trying to say? And Nene, they left her alone. And I remember watching that scene and thinking they weren't even. She wasn't bothering nobody. And they started with her and she got them up off of her in that way. Sometimes you have to do that. You cannot be afraid to disrupt things sometimes when it comes to your self respect, when it comes to the way people handling you. And sometimes you have to. It's not always about making a scene or, you know, being confrontational, but it's about addressing on the. Putting it on the floor right then. Don't be like that. I know it's a joke when people be like, oh, at Thanksgiving, the nosy family member this or that, or they gonna ask you about your life or whatever, ask questions back. You know, why you ain't finished school, why you ain't finished school on such and such. You know what I'm saying? What you. You got three babies, you know, just like start highlighting this. I'm never gonna be uncomfortable about being gay in a room. I'm never gonna be uncomfortable being black in a room. I'm never gonna be uncomfortable about any of that. Any decisions I make about the way I live my life, that's what the it is. And it's not up to nobody else to judge it. So you have to set them kind of boundaries with your family sometimes in a. In a direct way, you know what I'm saying? Loving, but in your ass, like, you know what I'm saying? You have to do it. That.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like there was some key points that you guys touched on, especially with this starting in the home. One of the things that I liked about watching Dank the Moss is when she was talking about her experience, she was saying certain things weren't her. Weren't her experience, you know, as far as even being desired. Because she had confidence. Because when she was younger, her daddy used to always tell her she was pretty. So she just always felt like, you know, that girl, it wasn't even her weight that she was feeling like was holding her back. I was just noticing that as the conversation appeared, a lot of people would outwardly state, well, like well, clearly she's gonna lose that lawsuit. Which unfortunately she did lose the lawsuit, but for the reason she did. I didn't know that.

[B]

I really didn't think she was gonna lose it.

[A]

I didn't think she was gonna lose it either.

[B]

I thought she had that in the bag, to be honest.

[A]

I didn't even know. It's a trial, so. Apparently the ruling said that Damas legal team argued that the driver's refusal violated Lyft's own policy. The judge determined that the driver's actions, while unfortunate, did not meet the legal threshold for discrimination under. Under state law.

[C]

Michigan law.

[A]

Yep. So is she gonna do a civil suit?

[B]

That's confusing, to be honest, because if someone is telling you, you can't get in my car because of your weight, how is what's not being met as far as discrimination? That's kind of confusing to me.

[A]

Apparently the laws provide certain.

[B]

Yeah, somebody came to somebody house.

[A]

I don't know what happened. Honestly, I, I didn't read too much into the story. I was just more so. Just shocked A, how people were approaching her and B, I was empowered watching her on her media.

[C]

Were you really shocked when you saw this? When that, when the headline hit.

[A]

I'm shocked.

[C]

Let me ask one question. When the headline hits that she literally was suing Lyft because the driver told her she was too big. Right. And then you see her physically. Were you shocked that that was the. That that was the response from a lot of people on the Internet and if so, why? I'm not saying you shouldn't have been. I'm just asking.

[A]

My, My first reaction was, oh, damn, people are going to be crazy. And then to read how crazy people were being, I was like, damn, this is fucked up. Like, I literally got. When I was on Fortnite playing my game game, some of these was talking about like, yeah, yo, you saw that story about that big chick out Fortnite? Yeah, Well, I was playing Fortnite because.

[C]

I mean, getting cussed out for being a little kid on Fortnite the other day. It was funny, but it was wrong. So the, the.

[A]

I don't play with little kids, so.

[C]

Oh, that's what they do on Fortnite is there's no, there's no respect level.

[A]

I'm not playing, I'm not playing with, with straight up strangers at this point. Like, I know the age level of people that I'm playing with with. We've talked about some of us, we've talked about who we've also the people.

[C]

You play with that was talking about her.

[A]

Yes. So it was just like, well, damn. And so from there, I was trying to reframe the conversation and they were like, like, damn, that is. You know what? I do feel like an ass now that you say that. And I was like, you know, everybody's a human being and people shouldn't have to feel like, oh, I have to sit this one out because of xyz. And I feel like that's why I wanted to have the conversation. Because like you guys were saying, it starts in the home and. And family. A lot of people have already been socialized because, friend, you talked about these deep systems that are in place to tell you that fat is bad. Like, you're supposed to hate yourself. You are literally. I was watching this TEDx shout out to your alumni. Dustin. He was. I think he did TEDx. Boston, James Rosser. Dr. James Rosser. Excuse me. He did a TEDx on fat and black in America. He talks about how weight stigma and fat shaming, size discrimination bias. He was just having a general conversation about how people don't look at obesity as a medical problem. So they feel like it gives them license to be as rude as they. As they want.

[C]

They feel like you only fat because you want to be right. You wanted to change it. You could, which is crazy.

[A]

And it's like if people were obese for reasons that they could change or get a hold of, sometimes that mindset, which was something else that Dank the moss had discussed. Is it Dank the moss or is it Dank Moss? I think the moss. Okay. I didn't know if I was being ghetto, adding that in there. Dink the Moss. When she was on Breakfast Club, I think she had one of her. Her physician there or someone that was. She had. I don't want to say it was her physician, but it was someone that was helping assist her with her weight loss has been like, it was her. Her. I don't want to say healer, but she's someone that's like helping her keep her mindset right and talking to her about, you know, the stuff that she's doing. Because when you're on weight loss journey, when you're on any kind of journey, you know, you can use any kind of support. So in this case, she wants to make sure that there aren't any sort of relapses when she's on a program. Because right now Dankthomas is trying to get down to a size to where she can have some sort of surgery to lose even more weight. Because you know, you have to get down to a size first.

[C]

Or.

[A]

As the young woman that was with her, her name was Stormy something. I don't remember what her name was. Excuse me. I didn't actually intend on talking about this part of the conversation, but some.

[C]

Of the things speaking over her place.

[A]

It'S not that Stormy. That's why I'm sad that I don't know her name.

[C]

I would never. It's not that plate that looked like that.

[A]

It's. It's not that one. It's not that one. But no, she. She was talking about people's mindsets and how sometimes you can have setbacks. And also that she doesn't have to lose the weight. Just at the surgery, she could lose the weight. And, you know, she sort of, you know, listen to your body, see how you feel, and maybe she'll keep losing the weight on her own. But society doesn't give you that option or that chance to want to do certain things. And I just feel like that's fucked up, and that's why I want to have this conversation. But it's funny because it's so nuanced, because everyone's experience is so different. Hearing dank them. I say, I don't have no problems when it comes to flying because a lot of people look at her and be like, damn, you can't even fit the airplane seat. And she's like, I fly Southwest. They don't even charge for the extra seat. Delta might charge. Some of the last few times, they ain't charged me.

[B]

She was up there, you know, just interesting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, the complete opposite.

[A]

And that's the thing. We don't hear about everybody's experiences. We don't hear about certain experiences just because it's like, well, why? Why? Not for us, but in certain scenarios, like, why are we talking about fat people? There are certain cases where people are, like, literally fat. As I was saying earlier at the top of this episode, I've had my. I have my body issues to this day. I have been in situations where people are like, no, fat. People, like, are damn sorry you fat. I don't with that. And there's a way to go about certain things, but if you don't realize how people will look or it'll shape your mindset, it's not even just a rejection issue. It's about, you know, how rude you can be or, you know, you can finesse it.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Some people say it's a way to do things. Yeah, like, sorry, you're just not my type. Or I'm interested in, you know, somebody else and like, all right, cool. That is obviously it's your preference. I'm not going to say, well, you need to open up your mind, blah, blah.

[B]

Well, I'm not gonna be the one.

[A]

Because I don't want to be with nobody that's gonna be like that. No way. Because we're just gonna keep having uncomfortable.

[B]

Remember you showing me when we were saying that Airbnb like people's profiles and the things that they would write about, like the skin colors, no fats, no femmes, like just very rudely stated preferences in the body.

[A]

That's the energy to start like out the gate.

[B]

I remember you showed me, God damn, that's not sexy.

[C]

And, and just because you don't have to be attracted to everybody that expresses interest in you, obviously. But you also don't have to be an. You don't have to. You don't have to do this. So you don't have to say, well, no. Cause you truth big. Like that's rude as. And it's nasty. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

But people feel like they have. Some people feel like.

[C]

I would say something back. Personally, I'd be like, well, I was just practicing anyway because when I got this picture too, yo, you look like your mama. You her son. I don't know, I'll just say stuff, just.

[B]

But you know what, it's. It's crazy too. Like we were talking about it being socially engineered. I think the hard like shout out to dank that she's saying that's just not her reality because it is so many people's reality and you don't get a break. Like, I remember looking when I moved here, I think I was on Zocdoc or one of the sites just trying to find a gynecologist out here. You know, kind of get all my service people in order. And I'm one of those people. I'm a ready up reviews. I'm going to read everything. I'm going to find all your reviews where I can.

[C]

Especially for some are serious.

[B]

Especially for something that's delicate. Exactly. And one of the things that kept coming up was looking for a gynecologist.

[C]

And you said something that delicate.

[B]

I mean, you know, delicate parts. The, the thing that kept coming up in the comments with a lot of the doctors was the fat phobia and how they were finding, like they weren't listening. Think about it. A doctor's not listening. The women were like, yo, you can't tell her not without her saying it's because of your weight. And it's like, I'm telling you I have a pain, you know, I'm telling you I have a discomfort and you're not listening. And that's the problem that always happens to not listening. Because you already have this assumption that that's problem number one, you know what I'm saying? And that that is what makes it so difficult to move through the world.

[C]

That's really up.

[B]

And it wasn't like one or two comments. I'm talking about almost every gynecologist that I found here, out here specifically. I wonder why that is. Because I didn't really see that a lot when in New York, but here, that's the biggest issue I was seeing. And all I kept thinking was like, God damn, even in gynecology you can't even just get someone that does their job without pushing weight or you know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just everywhere. And that's what makes it so difficult.

[A]

It definitely exists in many different ways in the healthcare care system. You were touching on something really interesting when you talked about BMI earlier on. There was a woman, Sabrina Strings.

[C]

That label did so many people wrong. And the thing about it is I've.

[B]

Been obese my whole life. Damn. Here you go. And I remember my trainer, when I had gotten that Equinox trainer, as cool as she was, I had to check her early because she was pushing the.

[C]

I remember that.

[B]

Remember that? That I remember that she was like, oh, this is how much you're overweight. And I said to her, you don't actually get the opportunity to tell me how much I'm overweight because I'm deciding that, like, you know what I'm saying? Because she's basing this on stats and charts. And that has nothing to do with me. Culturally, physically, nothing. Like nothing at all.

[C]

And we have the charts analyze.

[B]

Yeah, exactly like I'm rather you talk to me about the health of my fucking heart before you try to tell me what's obese and what's not. And I think that's the conversation that people do shy away from having because I do think Americans are unhealthy as fuck. Our food is terrible.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it is a blurred line between unhealthy and, oh, you're fat. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Right?

[A]

Fat shaming. You can't fat shame people into becoming healthier.

[B]

It's just never going to work. And I'm not.

[C]

Just because you're a bigger person doesn't mean you're unhealthy.

[B]

A lot of people eat terribly and just don't have the genetics, you know, the predisposition to wait to gain that type of weight. And I especially me living out here, when I see people running, on the bikes, hiking, it's all kinds of body types, and they're healthy as. And it's even dank the moss.

[A]

She was saying, I don't remember what her current weight was, but she said she had lost 80 pounds. But they were saying all the tests that they've run, she's still like, there's nothing else wrong with her. Her.

[B]

You know, she was saying, health wise.

[A]

Health wise.

[B]

Right. She was saying that she's just easy to assume.

[A]

Oh, you got to be having some hard problems and stuff like that. Right. But she's literally been big her entire life because she said she's come from a big family, except her brothers. They're both skinny. So not to say that it's like, oh, she's gonna be healthy, because she said that her. Her daddy comes from a lot. A long line of people with health problems. And at that point, they joked, well, you need to have you having the wrong test run.

[C]

Run.

[A]

Which I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of like, all right, well, if you come from a line of people with some health problems, you need to be looking out for something. That's all I want to say on that.

[C]

Yeah, that's just funny. That's not fat phobic. That's funny.

[A]

No, but it is, though, because, I mean, because it could go one of two ways. It's like you could have weeded it out, or it's like you could be in waiting. But it's like, you don't want to wish that on nobody. So that's why it's like, we just still want to be vigilant in trying to make sure that she's productive in her health, which I thought it was dope. I want to touch on something. The bmi, specifically, Sabrina Strings. She's an academic and an author of a book called Fearing the Black Body. In this book, Sabrina discussed, and this book was released in 2019, she discusses how modern expectations for women's bodies are rooted in centuries of racism. Her goal in this book was to trace the transition in the Western world from valuing voluptuous figures to valuing slender ones. And. And she studied the racist and sex hysteria, sexist history. Excuse me. Of fatphobia and its effects on generations of women in the West.

[C]

One name, Sarah Bartman.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Sarah Batman. Yep, right there. History by black bodies. What they've done, the way that they.

[B]

Have circus, they created of it.

[C]

Almost commercialized what the black body looks like. You know what I'm saying? I'm guilty. This is what I mean. The other day, my brother, he gonna be mad at me, but I don't care. The other day that my brother Damon was in the shower, he was on FaceTime, he had the phone on the thing. And I was like, you standing in the shower right now, like Sarah Bartman. And if you think about like all the. All the way sheep they had standing up there, I told Damon that's how.

[A]

He looked naked in the shower.

[B]

Yo.

[C]

But that was funny. It had nothing to do with that. Anything harmful. You see what I'm saying? You don't always have to be harmful. You could just be funny. That's all I'm saying. So, yes, I agree.

[A]

Also, in her 2019 book, she wrote about the BMI being problematic. She was saying that it was introduced in the 80s as both flawed and arbitrary. She said that there are no studies proving that high BMI directly causes poor health, but it's still used as a marker for one's relative health today. So this just speaks to another.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Like this bias or this being one of many biases, it leads to misdiagnosis, poor health outcomes, and a lack of preventative care in black communities.

[B]

And it's problematic because my trainer telling me I'm unhealthy, but I'm like, you didn't do no blood work, so you actually don't have the license. You're not to tell me, you know what I'm saying? You don't have the license to tell me what's healthier and healthy. She's basing that on what, a little fat roll she saw on my back.

[C]

You know, And I bet she came.

[B]

With your ass at that part, you know what I'm saying? And I. And I think she didn't measure my strength. You know, like, if we're gonna have that conversation, then let's do a test of my flexibility. Like, have me have. You know, the mobility test that they call them. Like, can you bend your toes, Range of motion, like, have me lift some, like, test where I should be at this age.

[A]

You need to be properly.

[C]

Like, let's don't pull out a calculator and try to tell me, you know.

[B]

Because of a weight number and. And, oh, at this height and this, you're supposed to be. And it's like, what. That don't Mean, who wrote that? You know, and it's based on white women's bodies, right? And it makes no sense. And so I think we have to be cautious. Even, like, I bought my scale, you know, I was saying how everything has a app now because everything is smart. My scale has an app.

[A]

Ciao.

[B]

You know what I mean? And I don't even do scales. I've never owned a scale until I started training in the gym. Well, yeah, that's that part. I know you did it. I bought a scale because I wanted to monitor. You know, scales now are super smart. Like, they'll tell you muscle mass growth, like how much it breaks down so much about your body, about your body's composition, Right. Which is really helpful when you're training and bodybuilding. And so I bought one for that. But it kind of like. Like even the damn app is like, you're obese. And then it's a little green chart and it's all red and saying you need to be on this side and you're on this far off in the spectrum and you're sitting there just trying to stay healthy. And even the damn app is telling you that you're unhealthy as. And it.

[C]

And this is why.

[B]

Based on anything real. But you would think that that means something because this is an official app.

[C]

It's a meter. It's a scale that they. Well, no pun intended, but it's a meter. It's something that they, They're. They're measuring you by, right? So you, you deem it legitimate.

[B]

You're never going against measurement.

[C]

This is why inclusion and diversity, okay, are so important. You need black physicians. You need black women physicians. You need people of color in positions where those sort of determinations are made, right?

[B]

Black app developers.

[A]

Girl, right?

[C]

Black app developers. Black. Black physical. Black physical.

[B]

Black trainers.

[C]

Trainers. Black nutritionists. Thank God for people like food. Our girls, Wendy and Jess. Thank God for all these black healthcare professionals. You need black physical therapists, doctors of physical therapy. You know what I'm saying? You need black people in those positions so that we can have accurate marks to be measured against. We can have accurate. They should. You should be. Be able to consult someone, friend, man, who can understand that with your body type, culturally factors, and can measure you against the scale that. That is accurate. This is why instead of teaching your kids to call people fat, what you should be doing is encouraging your kids to go after courses of study that puts them in those positions so that now we can have better health overall. We talked earlier in this conversation about fixing the problem when it comes to black health and black our body types and our health. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's how you fix it. You get the right people informed with the right information to make the right determinations to give us the right care and health and. And right guidance and advising that we need to. To literally live our best lives. You know what I'm saying? To be healthy people, healthy beings. That's why. Teach your kids to go to school. Pick up that book. Go to school. Okay. Learn about the body. We need nurses and doctors and, and surgery.

[B]

That's another thing to us. Because I've been there too, where. Because of my race, when I was complaining about pain, you know how they think that we have a different pain threshold. And so the nurse took her time with me where I know it would have been different if I was white and saying that something hurt, you know. And we've seen studies were saying that that's discussed in the medical community about a black person's threshold. Look at RFK talking about a black person's vaccine schedule needing to be different than a white person. License that part. Even this edom lip balm. Right? That's what like racism is everywhere. You can't get away from it. They had to create science baked ingredients as they explain it with heritage, big word heritage botanicals. That's the, the melanin beauty. Right. Because it's like we all need, like you mentioned that cultural aspects of our beauty. I actually saw right before we started recording this journalist, which I didn't get a chance to read it. I'll link it below because I definitely want to give her credit. This journalist did like a huge expose about Retin A, the skincare cream being tested on black prisoners in like get.

[C]

The fuck out of here.

[B]

Yes. She released a huge expose that's going viral on Twitter right now. And I didn't get a chance to read it. Like I said, I just saw the hero, her tweet and I was like, I bookmarked it and was like, I gotta get back to this, I gotta read this. But that goes to show you skin care, we obviously the medical field, I mean, that's been years. We know about that. Right. So it's just, I don't know, it's like you can't get away from it.

[C]

It's my first cousin, my first cousin is a dermatologist and she has focused her career on like working in inner city environments where her services is as a black. Black, you know, dermatologist can Be most impactful. I'm gonna talk to her. I'm gonna see if she knows about that retina situation, and maybe I'll put something together to have her come on and we'll.

[B]

That would actually be a great conversation if you want to check it out. I just pulled it up. The Tweet is from @ Grim Kim G r I m K I m and she says my latest routine, Vogue, explores the horrific story of popular skincare ingredient Retin A. Before Retin a was approved by the FDA in 1971, it was tested on hundreds of incarcerated black people in Philadelphia without their informed consent. The survivors still bear the scars. So it's like everything is. Is racist. And then we. Right. We're trying to figure out why we're so uncomfortable in society, you know, when it wasn't designed with us in mind and ang any. Any facet of society.

[C]

So I'm putting a pin in there. We're going to talk about that with Lauren because I want to hear from her take. So thank you because we just produced my next segment.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's really it for this. I mean, I just wanted to have a conversation around this because I feel like fat phobia is something that we don't address enough and we don't touch on. I feel like fat people, because they are physically seen to be to take up so much space, they are sometimes made to feel invisible. And I don't like it. Yeah, I will not be a party to it. And I will leave you with the words of Dr. James Rosser, which I. I just loved. When he said this in the TEDx, I had to write it down. He said, when you misuse or do not use language appropriately, it can promote stigma. And I think that was really the big lesson for me, like watching people tear people down. Of course, yes, it's just another day. But, you know, seeing people just go that deep all the time. Like, you know the cardi b comments, when they're just like, you know, k yourself. It's just like, damn, why has it got to be all that? But then to just see somebody just enjoying themselves and being like, oh, I like the color of my wig. It remind me of this. And then it turns into all that. It's like, this is not fair. But then you see somebody like, Dank Dimash's like, I'm just trying to order a car to go to a party, like, and this acting like his car gonna break. And I've been in all kind of cars. Like, he don't even know and if he really did want me in his car, he should have been. He should have went about it a whole different way. He should have been like, well, ma', am, I would love to fit you in my car. And he should have made something up. And like, unfortunately I've been transporting XYZ and I need to get it clean. So I'll sit here with you while ordering you another car. Like made something up and clean and just sent it right on somewhere else. I don't know. But I just feel like even doing that is because he was fat phobic. And that's not right. And I wanted to talk about it because this is the friend zone and we talk about everything. And I wanted to do my part because especially when I saw the healthcare piece of it, I was like, damn, that's really dangerous. Like, it's. I know not us in particular, but I know it's been said that Dr. Jackie on married to Medicine has been fat phobic to some of her visitors or patients. And I was like, you know, damn, that's up, up. But to see how she probably has been programmed to that because of what she studied and all her, you know, years of research and whatever or medical readings, it's like, okay, and culturally.

[C]

And culturally, a little more context to that though, right? Because people took a clip of Dr. Jackie having a playful banter with Dr. Heavenly on her YouTube channel and spun it as if that was a quote from Dr. Jackie and that never was a quote from her. Right. About black women suffering health. Then people who don't like her on the show started jumping in the comments and leaving reviews who weren't actual patients of hers started leaving reviews everywhere they could under her name, saying that she's fat phobic and she treated me like this. And literally making those scenarios. They found out it was a bunch of bots. I'm not saying she hasn't been like that with other people, but that was a situation which actually plays into what you're speaking of today, right? Which is people being harmful on the Internet.

[A]

Right.

[C]

They took their opinion of her on a reality show. Some people, people took their opinion of her on a reality show and created a real life conversation and consequence that damaged their reputation professionally. And we all know as a physician, you know, your reputation is literally your value. You know what I mean? And when you have someone's life in your hands so that actually she actually didn't say what people accused her of saying. Just for the. Right. Just to.

[A]

For the record. Yeah. So. Yeah. So to clear that up. Then unfortunately, Dr. Jackie, she was not doing that. But for doctors that have done that or have been accused of that, such as the gynecologist you were speaking of that were on zoc. Doc, friend, I think that there is something just to be said about the healthcare system as a whole and how it approaches black bodies. Speaking again to what you said, friend, about this whole thing being, you know, falling down to the wayside of the system that has been here for years.

[B]

And how we do the work for them, women in particular, who I can speak to the desirability aspect of fat phobia, where it's like, no man's gonna want you. You, even as a young girl, you. That's put in your head, like it's very man centered because yes, it's white centered in terms of racism, like the systems in place, but also like our moms grandmoms will make you feel like, ain't no man gonna want you, you know, with that little fat roll. And I think the desirability and like the apps like we were talking about, it's guys putting in their bio, no fats. Like, it's. That I think is another lens that's a, that's an important one that kind of gets programmed into all of us and, and I think we all play into it and we don't want to admit it. Like, you start putting on a little weight, you're like, oh my God, let me tighten up. Yeah, let me tighten up. And, and you don't even realize how deep rooted it is when you. Like, I had to check myself when I was, when I had gained weight. I honestly didn't feel bad about the weight gain because I was like, oh, I look, I look good. I needed a little weight gain. But even me, I started feeling a little invisible in a lot of ways. Like as the attention I got at a certain weight was very different with the attention I got. And I noticed it, you know what I mean? Luckily, I have a partner who was like, you find his hell regardless. And he never, it was never a thing he even brought up. He didn't bring it up until I did and said, I want to do something about it. But you also have to investigate why you want to do something about it. Right? You do. Like, yeah, you want to be healthy for sure. But let's not lie. We also like when we say I want.

[A]

Yeah, like do you want to be healthy for yourself so you can, you know, attain more in a day or do you want to do it for other people?

[B]

And I think you do have to, like, be honest a lot of times of, what is it that's bothering you about weight gain? And we're so programmed that I think you probably won't even really get to it. A lot of times people like, oh, no, I don't see that. Like, yeah, yeah, you do. We all see it. Yeah.

[A]

Well, thank you both very much for participating in this highly uncomfortable conversation.

[B]

Very right. Because you don't want to misstep, you know, your programming to spill out in some way.

[A]

So, yeah, you know, like, I. I know we are all respectful individuals. I know that we all treat people like humans. You know, when I showed you guys the picture of the first creator, I know the both of you, when y' all looked at it, y' all weren't even reacting to her weight, because why would you do that? Like.

[B]

Like, in my mind, I can't so, like, what's happening?

[A]

But for some people, they literally saw that and was like, like, like, like, that's probably what they. Like, that's the reality. Well, it could have been. It could have been a number of factors, right? So. Which is a whole nother thing. But in particular, one of the things I saw over and over again was that. And I was like, damn, like, y' all are doing this to the girl. For what? Like, all she did was post herself in a wig. It's not like she said, you know, she. She put up her middle finger or said, I want to be on baddies and whoop ass or something. Like, I just didn't understand any license to come at her in any kind of way, let alone that way. And so then again, to Dank the Moss was coming up, too, or this was back when that was happening or unfolding. And I was just like, this is odd how we can't have an actual conversation because I feel like black people, because this happened during Black History Month. You know, that was playing out, and that was Women's History Month. So hopefully we're uplifting Dank the Moss and this young lady as well. But I. I really want to have these conversations because I feel like Dank Devos. See, here we go. Go.

[B]

Right? No, you see.

[A]

I forgot where I was going to go. So now I'm just going to end it right there. But all I would like to say again is thank you for participating. Hopefully, all of you out there have your opinions you would like to share down below, and you can have these conversations with your friends as well and give us grace, because these things are not, like, we are not professionals in that sense, you know what I'm saying? We just want to have conversations and open minds, and you can agree or disagree. We don't always agree and feel how you want to feel, and that's real.

[B]

Share your experience. Because I know a lot of people have a lot to say about that phobia, especially culturally in our cultures.

[A]

See, and that's the thing. Part of our culture, you know, in certain neighborhoods and societies, it's like, damn, you know, girl thick. You know, it's celebrated being, you know, like, voluptuous. But then you move into other neighborhoods, and it's like, oh, she too big. She can't roll with a. Because some girls grew up, like, dank the mo. She grew up fighting people saying, you know, should I? I always thought that I was cute, and I just fought whatever like that. She stood up for herself growing up. She had self confidence. It was reinforced in her household, some people.

[C]

Self confidence. I just seen her promote. Did y' all see her promoting her new Only Fans?

[B]

No.

[A]

So she's been on the Only fans for a couple of years, I thought.

[C]

And I saw her promoting some new. She said it was coming probably new content to go on there because she talked about.

[A]

About. I watched her on this Breakfast Club interview, and I was like, damn, you know, I need to listen to her music. And I watched a couple more interviews.

[B]

I heard she was really talented.

[C]

I haven't listened yet.

[A]

I listen to music, but she's from Detroit, so I want to know.

[B]

Damona, don't call Me White Girl was like, how she's dope. She's actually really, really, really talented.

[C]

So I hope her music is getting attention from this for sure. I hope this happening for her.

[B]

Some spillover.

[A]

I really like her swag. I really like how she just is chill. She's real. She's not like, she's still a holder. She's still like, don't get it up. Just like a real. A little bit. But you could tell, like, okay. You could tell.

[C]

She'd be like, booty in the front, too.

[A]

Booty in the front, too.

[C]

That's what she said.

[A]

Is that the song?

[C]

No, that's what she says about her herself. She'd be like, booty in the front, too. And she'll be rubbing herself. She don't give a. That's why I'm like, yeah, like, come on.

[A]

She said she knows she fine. She was talking about how she had been she comfortable with her body for a long time. She's been performing rapping since 2016, 2017. She talked about a lot of really cool things. And it made me think that, like, damn, this, this is dope. So I with her the long way. She actually don't even really care about the fat comics like you were saying. That's like she stays out of the comments. She was like, I don't be reading none of that stuff. You know, I just do my thing.

[B]

Try to make her feel the way.

[A]

Because to a bigger point, you were trying to make Dustin, if you are an artist, see, you're good, you're warming up for your show. I see it. I think that she does a good job of just saying, like, this is the game. Like there's a game, you know, when you're entering the arena of social media, whether you're doing entertainment or you're trying to be entertainment adjacent or even just social media, I feel like it's on arena. It doesn't even have to be entertainment at this point. And I feel like you just have to know that you have to have a tough skin. You're going to deal with rejection in any form, any level. It's just for some people, they feel like, you know, when weight comes into it, it's a little bit more of a sensitive topic. Everybody's situation is different because, you know, you'll see some people be like, I'm fat and still holla at me. And it's like, well, I do. I have to get bigger. Like people be like, you know, 600 pound life. They always got somebody. Well, I ain't got nobody.

[B]

So they do be saying so.

[A]

Yeah, light conversation, hopefully for such a heavy topic.

[C]

Heavy.

[A]

You know what, I kept hitting those for you. I knew you're gonna catch them. That's it for me, y'. All. I hope y' all enjoy enjoyed this conversation. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for 15amonth is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mine. MintMobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra.

[B]

See MintMobile.com this summer, Instacart is bringing.

[A]

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[B]

So this week in wellness, I actually wanted to tack on to a conversation I had brought up two weeks ago about Hillman Toss. Remember that incredible black university hbcu. A digital HBCU as it was being labeled. You guys listen to this message that Brie Savage sent us on Patreon or comment rather. Fran Hillman Talk has been shut down.

[A]

Oh no.

[B]

All the admins and professors have quit and students started dropping out left and right because one of the quote unquote quote founders started to make things weird. Creators were fighting over who founded this. Over who founded this make believe university. And then someone was trying to trademark the name and monetize from it. And then one of the ladies quit her actual job because she thought this was going to be her come up as an influencer. What was meant for fun and bringing the community together.

[C]

They need to be working there.

[A]

You.

[C]

You can't teach nobody doing dumb like that.

[B]

And she's the TR math teacher.

[C]

Hell no. Is anybody should have known do the math.

[B]

Look at that. So what was meant for fun and bringing the community together turned sour real quick. I hadn't even gotten my acceptance letter yet. This is from Bri Savage.

[C]

Thank you for the update, Bri.

[B]

And that just broke my heart. And then actually we had another list listener. Naj to the J on Twitter, shout out to you naj. Because they were kind of laughing, right? Nash to the J. They were kind of laughing that I had just brought it up.

[C]

We all, we all, we didn't know what these young people said.

[A]

We were a little later, you know.

[B]

You know, I was excited about, you.

[A]

Know, she's not on the east coast time no more. So you know what I'm saying? Y' all gotta give her a pass, y'. All.

[B]

But NAJ has a whole thread if y' all want to check it out. Out at naj. N A J underscore to the J and J is J a Y Y. They have a whole thread. The first tweet is this Hillman Talk University rabbit hole is ridiculous as hell. For those of you who are confused, I think I got the gist of what is happening. A thread. And they made a whole thread. I'm gonna just read the first one. It says to start Hillman Talk was unintentionally created by Dr. Leah Barley, a professor of African American studies at North Carolina A T. So this is what happened. She actually created a TikTok account for her class and it was supposed to be private, but it went viral because when she put the video out, it went to the FYB and everyone saw it. So people were like, wait a minute, what is this? A black professor starting class? Sign me up. She was like, wait, no, it's supposed to be for my actual class. But because it went viral and gained traction, I think she thought, you know, we got something here. People want to learn from me. And you know, and then other professors joined in, like, you know what? We can make this a thing.

[C]

Yeah, community. Now was she the one who quit?

[B]

I'm sure because they said the founders was like, I'm not trying. But I think it's because they didn't want to deal. Oh no, no, it was not Dr. Leah Barlow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And they said, barlow, I'm just kidding, baby girl. They go on to say, gorgeous. People thought this was an online trend and didn't realize it was a real class. So people began to ask about syllabus, the course catalog. Soon it turned into a whole community of people sharing information, creating free online space where people can share this information. They said enrollment was as simple as following creators who were willing to put the information on their social media platforms. The course catalog was a list of creators with the educational content. So it really became amazing honesty. And that's when I saw it. It came onto my feed. They say, in short, initially it was all in fun. It was professional people sharing their knowledge to the masses for free. It was communities of people coming together in a non serious format. Then they go on to say that a creator was like, well let's have a kickback, like we should all meet somewhere. And I think once you start doing that, even though the creator meant well, they didn't ask for no money in terms of like, like putting it together. They said like if you can donate. And then they were going to use that money to give it to actual college students that needed help with books. Because if you know anything about college, the books are expensive and then you have hella books with hella classes and they can add up really quickly. So this creator was like, we can have our fun meet up, have like a bashment, but also like help intellectual black college students. Right? Intentional know. And then from there it just turned it. You can read the thread. It just seems like this went from what was supposed to be community based and a funny mistake right. By Dr. Leah Barlow that turned into something awesome that has. Now it's just over. And it's like drama. That lady quit her job. People are fighting over who was the actual founder. Which is crazy because it was started from. From Dr. Leah Barlow. Then what do we should be.

[C]

No question. Yeah.

[B]

But I hate that. Don't you hate that? That makes sense.

[C]

I hate like that people want to take credit and you know what I mean, Instead of just letting something be beautiful and pure. Yeah. Whenever people smell money, if they're. If people feel like they can get money from it, they're going to try to figure out a way to get either all of it or some of it just rotten bastardized things.

[A]

Things.

[B]

And credit is something that people especially on the Internet. I was the first one or I was the biggest. And then not only credit but also virality. Right?

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Shout out to Chesky moment Chesca Lee one time. And this is where your friends can tap you on your shoulder sometimes. Somebody did steal my joke one time right. On the Internet. And so I. I was like, yo, that's crazy because you took my. Or whatever, blah, blah. Cheska Lee hopped in to reply. And you know, normally I would check somebody for some like that you know each other. I love Chesky. So Chesky was like. You know, she told.

[A]

She.

[C]

She brought up some scientific term about people having the same thought at the same time ideas.

[B]

Right.

[C]

She was like, it can happen. She was like, it just means you're both smart and funny. That I totally diffused it. Totally. And I've never done that again.

[B]

That's weird.

[C]

Never ever done that again.

[B]

That happened to me too. Where a popular white. White yoga brand. Let's put it at that. Took a quote of mine from Twitter and put it on a T shirt. Now. Yes. We could say it was in the ether. And they grabbed it too. The wording was so specific. It was exactly the tweet. And you know, it was the worst part with us talking about like Twitter pile ons. People who didn't like me already. Would they. Because I'm rarely online with like issues like I don't fight people. It's. You're just not gonna really catch me in that space of drama because I avoid. Was like a door open. It was like, yes, bitch. We can say all the things we hate about it.

[C]

They're trying to Dr. Jackie you.

[B]

Yeah. They took an opportunity to. To mention things that had nothing to do with that. And then telling me like, I seen that quote before. Yeah, because. Because people steal each other's quotes too. One person could say it and 10 other people are gonna see. How many times have you put something into Twitter? And 30 people said the same thing like that.

[C]

Literally made up, sit here and figured out how to put the words together.

[B]

And the thing is, it was a conversation that I was having on Twitter with Fatima, actually our friend Fatima. We were talking. They took a tweet that wasn't even like a tweet out. It was a combo. That's a reply. I'll say that they took, put it on a T shirt. And then people were sending me clips of gurus. Like, I heard this here. I saw this.

[C]

Won't lie. They're the first lying ass.

[B]

But not only that, the guru was saying a similar concept. Yes. I never said I thought of a spiritual concept. I'm saying my tweet was stolen. Like, well, how do you not see the difference? Difference in that? It's the wording. They took word one and you know.

[C]

You did, and you know you did.

[B]

That's the part I'm like, people just were finding an opportunity to tell me I was wrong. And it got me so angry. But you know what I realized? Like, it almost wasn't even worth it because it just got me angry that people just weren't listening to what I was saying. I didn't say I created the spiritual content. I'm saying this is word for word from my page and a brand is selling it for 200 something dollars.

[C]

You should curse them. Make your mother's walk. Your mother's walk turned sideways. I would start cursing.

[B]

May your mother's walk.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

But sometimes it don't even be worth it, you know? But I. But all in all, I just, I hate that this happened. I hate that this something so beautiful that was so community based. Especially in a time right now where like, we need this. This. We've been talking about community centered things for us and how we can take, you know, how we can do our part, what we can do for each other. And then this just fell apart because people got greedy.

[A]

Sad.

[C]

I don't like, I'm pissed.

[B]

I am too. I really hate it because I thought it was such a cool concept. I was excited to see how it was going to continue developing because you knew it was gonna. I was like, it's probably gonna have a website with course conference and conference and meetups and all kinds of cool. But like we say when money is involved and that's the trademark.

[A]

And can they reconcile this situations? Can they just, you know, split the cost and all put their names down or something like that?

[B]

They don't want nothing to do with it. I think they're like, this is whack. Like this turned. This turned ugly. I just don't. Yeah.

[C]

We need to find out who made the first comment, who started it, whoever started the negativity. Who was it? Who the fuck was it? Which one? We need to find out.

[B]

So thank you, Naj. Witness on to what happened. You can read the thread and it's actually sad when you read the thread. I'm actually going to leave it below also as a link to. To there. Don't kill me, Naj. Don't be sending a lot of traffic to your Twitter. I hope you're monetized, guys. This will be good for you. But. But I'm imposing so y' all can read because they really did a good breakdown of how this just destructed.

[C]

Like Nas with the J and the J stands for. Just forget it then. We ain't even gonna do it no more.

[B]

I hate this for us. We can't. I just wanted to tell y' all because that really made me sad and I know that some of y' all probably were looking for it and. Yeah, it's. It's no more, man.

[C]

Whoever it up, man, y' all ain't. We can't have nothing. Nothing. Damn.

[B]

Damn. Something screen and people were like just got tick tock back, right?

[C]

They didn't defunded the school. See, this is why he said he wasn't giving no more funding to them HBCUs. And look what y' all do.

[B]

And that's it for this week and wellness.

[A]

All right, we are back with another Music man segment this week. I'm gonna keep it short and simple. There is an Amazon prime series series that I urge you all to go view. It's been out for maybe the past year. There is some of this content on the YouTube. If you look up Amazon Music song line, there are these performances and basically it's. They're the. It's a docu series slash performance style show. They've had a match of dragons. Yeah. So I thought I'd put everybody on because I. I ain't hear nothing.

[C]

I didn't even know. I didn't know. I never had heard a word.

[A]

I didn't hear nothing about this show. And it's right up my alley. There have been artists that. That I kind of with and I've probably seen clips of the show from, but didn't know what they were from. I saw that Leon Bridges has done this show. That one was a 45 minute episode. So we get into docu series slash performance. One of the ones that I need to watch at the end of December, Big Sean, he released one and oh, hell yeah, Billy Eilish also released one. So if you haven't checked it out, check it out. If you have, check it out. Check it out.

[C]

Her and Big Sean shop at the same store. They're birds of a fellow.

[A]

They definitely do fly together. Yeah, check it out and let me know down below if you've watched it. And also if you've watched it, let me know down below why you ain't tell me about it. I just want to put you all onto that particular visual. Outside of that, there are music videos out from artists. The first artist. Well, the only artist that I'm going to highlight this week that's dropped a video that I cared about was Lizzo. Lizzo is back. She has a new song called Love in Real Life Life. She's showing off her weight loss, but more than anything, she was showing off that she's still here, which I appreciate.

[B]

The rock, the like, rock sound.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I saw a clip on Twitter.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I'm with the sound. I'm loving Lizzo exploring this. I'm loving that she's still here. You know, she's had her poppy moments and she's gonna keep popping out on that ass. So she can do anything.

[C]

She's so talented and it's that she makes hit pop, right Records and this is a hit record. Like formulaic. Speaking from a formulaic perspective. I am not a songwriter, but I can. You know what I'm saying? I haven't been around enough. And I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah. Like, she, she is really, really gifted in that sense. And she's raw talent.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Sing, rap, dance, all that. Like, she's great. So bring it on. Lizzo and her and her look good as together. I seen him on the carpet. I think it was the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty they were at. They look so damn good.

[B]

He looks like a Disney prince to me.

[C]

She said, it ain't no frog. It ain't no frog.

[A]

Yes. So shout out to Lizzo. One thing about her, she doesn't. Or she hasn't given me, like. Or maybe she hasn't. Oh, you know what? She has. But one thing I'm excited to see more of from Lizzo are projects with, like, cool Eras. I feel like Lizzo still has a lot to offer. Offer. Even though some will say, I mean, Lizzo's been a great success. She has definitely.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Huge successes. But I still see a lot more like, potential in Lizzo, which is super dope because she's hit a lot of great heights, but she can go higher is what I'm trying to say. So shout out to Lizzo. That's it for that portion of the Music man segment. Now we can get it to listen lately. Songs to play or yes, sent friend. I would love to know what songs you've been listening to which you've been over there playing while you've been trying to decide which new hot car you're gonna get. Because that's what you deserve.

[B]

Well, you know, last week I was on my poo, but this week I'm a little calmer since things are progressing. So we're back to it. Flower Child, Gremlin and Cafe Noir have a record called falling for your love.

[C]

Sa Sam.

[B]

Right. Just a nice, nice energy. So I'm back to feeling like myself. The other record Imma play, Alex Isley dropped a new song. Y' all know how I feel about her. It's beautiful. It's called Hands. Welcome to the cam. Been traveling and it's been too long the weeks feel like months since I've been gone these shots sheets on my skin the only touch I've known.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Like the feeling that I left back home Help me remember though it's hard not to dream about Cuz this the one sensation that I can't seem to go without out of reach but you're close enough, love so at least I can see your face But I need to feel a moment Pull me into your rib race with your hands no s. No. Just touch me with your hands. Your hands. Right?

[A]

Beautiful.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

Beautiful. She just always hits for me. Just never miss with Alex Isley. Beautiful. And then my last record, Shea Universe and Neo. I love Neo. They have a message.

[A]

She was back. I didn't listen to it.

[B]

That excited me because, you know, I love Nail and Shane Universe is really dope too, so it was nice to see them together. They have a record called Always Wait Universe. Yeah, you play the Shade Universe record with full crate.

[A]

That voice. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes.

[B]

This record's called. Oh wait.

[A]

Let me download this.

[B]

Now.

[A]

You say you love me you say you try so tell me why.

[B]

I'm teary eyed it doesn't move me.

[A]

When you apologize you made me question.

[B]

My intuition too many times it's scary.

[A]

How you like right to me st.

[B]

Right in my face and don't feel.

[A]

No way, no way it shouldn't be that easy to throw it all away. You said you were the one said you prove me wrong but you're just the same cuz you your loves like a st Roses turn to thorns what you touch, you break trying to undo what you did But I don't know when to start together that's what I was waiting on.

[B]

Still learning how to.

[A]

Forgive and I still hold this part heart.

[C]

Now wait a d minute I've.

[B]

Been trying to let go you've been.

[C]

Holding it Every time you leave you take my soul with it and the.

[B]

Cycle goes on and on on and on. I have to. Those are my three of this week. Good, right?

[A]

Yes. I already liked it. I already added it to my library, so hope hopefully I don't accidentally play it next week. All right, Dustin Ross. What you been over to listening to?

[C]

All right, first up, I want to this is real Boston Richie One hit Wonder. My I'mma his duh. This what it is on my side. I put that on my key matter of fact I need a baby set up please, please.

[B]

All this I don't see like Stevie.

[C]

Wonder I'm having vision baby I ain't trying to fumble I'm letting you drop but I'mma take over after some real trench I pull a runner without a condom cool ass I pop out in.

[A]

The heat with LV bomber big old.

[C]

Bl under my shirt that louder than some th I need a trap that get to work and drive just like sh. You know I the cookies I don't. All right, now the next song I'mma play is called Being Honest. This is the remix by K Flock and Gro.

[B]

Why have I heard this melody before? Is that a xxx?

[A]

And you can't walk a m of my shoes. You ain't throw as much shots as I do. You definitely dumping that part like I do.

[B]

Lately I've been feeling alone yeah but.

[A]

I'm clutching my love.

[C]

That last song I'mma play is by Dave east and Ransom off their new project, the Final Call. This song is called the Mosque. Every day we pray.

[B]

Yeah, luxurious.

[A]

I know you feel that pain, man. So every day we pray. Let's get to it, man.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Look nowadays I ain't sleeping often. Don't slip up when I'm on this just besides see with caution street extortion we pulling up if we don't receive a portion Put choppers to the side of Your face like you were Stephen Hawkins. We see it often when the streets is talking Mama crying had to put her son down he suffered from heat exhaustion Body dismembered He don't need a coffin.

[C]

Yeah, I like that. And I was. I directed the vocals on that st, But I was like, that was me in the studio. That's it for me this week.

[A]

All right. The first artist I'm going to play was on the fresh finds R and B list on Spotify. This artist's name is Brian Brien. Brien Bliss. I hope I'm saying the name correctly, but the song is called Crush. There's a really cool moment that happens, like, in the middle towards the end of the song that I like. I don't know if I'm going to make it there, but I'm going to play a little preview of the song if you want to hear more. His name is Brien B R E Y A N Brayan. Or is it Brian?

[B]

Maybe it's just Brian. You know, these youngins.

[A]

All right, well, maybe it's Brian Bliss. But Mr. Bliss, I'm feeling the crush and here's how it goes.

[B]

I like it already. Listen, all it took for you is just to see.

[C]

And it only took a couple seconds I didn't want to.

[B]

Fall in love oh, you got me so up you're all that I think.

[C]

About the missing link I didn't know.

[B]

I couldn't live without.

[C]

It started with.

[B]

A crush we could take it all the way oh, all the way. Just another pretty face that's pretty.

[C]

Yes, all the way.

[B]

You better sing, Dustin Ross.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh, okay. Hey, shout out.

[A]

All right, so you know the little R B hard throps. They gonna be all right. They gonna be all right. Speaking of, I want to play this artist. Is it Levin? Kali?

[B]

You know, I've never known. Every time I see that name, I have the same question. I think it is Levin Coley.

[A]

Is it leaving Cali?

[B]

I' ma guess. Levin. Let's go.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. All right.

[B]

I'll look up an interview and we'll get back to it.

[A]

11. Cali, potentially L E V E N K A L I has a song called are you still? I heard it on YouTube, and I was like, let me run that back. Right? Oh, you know what? Oh, damn. I'm gonna play four songs today. I'm so sorry, y'. All. I'm gonna play this song, and then we gonna get to the next two, because I just got really excited about our songs. Oh, I forgot. I ain't played that Yet. But this one's called Are youe Still? I really like this song.

[B]

Damn me. Are you still in love? Like are you still in love? Like are you still in love?

[C]

This made me want to have a conversation at a bar.

[B]

The way your mind works.

[C]

We can still make it.

[B]

That's when you see the cutie at everyday people. No, you said it. That's exactly it. That's hilarious.

[A]

So yes, that is. Are you still. It's a dope ass vibe. I'm very quickly going to run through these last two songs. This song that I'm going to play first is Rico Nasty. I think I love it. Did I put teeth sucker?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. Teeth sucker. Yeah. 3X is the name. The video looks awesome. Rico Nasty still that she ain't changing for no body. And honestly I've missed her so. Welcome back. Rico Nasty. Continue doing the what the you do. Here we go. Go.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like a titty. I'm trying to pop that like Willie think she pop too many pilly Not a hulky talking silly not with a bull. We not bull. I get the tool just in the pool. He got the best face. I think I'm use him for mule.

[A]

I got a treasure chest up top.

[B]

My neck these probably can't touch my jewels Better now get this confuse you try but not amused Pockets blue like.

[A]

Some a. I'm so happy that I'm.

[B]

Not you Cuz you the best at.

[A]

Losing Holy that Oh sorry. Hold on friend. Hold on. I'm sor sorry. That song is hot. It's hard. Rico's that and I with it. Last song I want to play and then I'm gonna quickly move on. Brie Runway did a colors performance. She was on a color show. She has a song called Eating Silence. She looks amazing. I've been excited to see bro. She's dealt with a lot of I.

[B]

Legit was gonna play. She has a song called that girl. I think it's called I wasn't going to play today.

[A]

So I love that you runways that girl. So I really want you all to go watch her on the color show on YouTube to see her and listen to the record. But here's how it goes. Eating silence.

[B]

I said a prayer today I can only hope I said it right It's a lot on a play but I'll just keep in silence Better watch the word that you say they.

[C]

Go ahead pave your ways I cannot help feel away maybe it is all.

[B]

A seasonal Getting deeper than the surface I'm trying to find my purpose yeah.

[A]

So That's Brie Runway. That's eating silence. Check her out. Support Brie Runway. Support the dark skinned girls. Especially if they just look as good as she does and sound as good as she does. That's it for the Music man segment. Dustin Ross, what you got for the people?

[C]

Every day, set your DVR. Every day. 2:00pm Wherever you at 2:00pm Eastern time. So I guess it's not 2:00pm Whatever you at 2pm Eastern time, watch beyond the Gates on CBS. We need an escape. We need something to watch that is mindless entertainment. And I'm a certain age. I'm a man of a certain age. I feel fine saying that. I watch the store stories. So you know what I'm saying? Beyond the game. Black soap opera women are running the show. Women, showrunner, women executive producers. Like this is a project that we should support. So record it. Watch it in your spare time as background noise or whatever. It's great to to see. Also the Gross Point Garden Society on NBC. It airs on Sundays. New episodes on Mondays on Peacock. Right. Drama. It's got the girl from how to Get Away with Murder. What's her name?

[B]

Viola.

[C]

No, Asia Naomi King. Viola Davis.

[B]

He said what's her name?

[C]

That's the woman from how to Get Away with Her.

[A]

Asia Naomi King.

[C]

She's in it. It is an incredible murder mystery drama. You should watch it. It is so good. It's only the second episode is out. Yeah. So it's still early enough for you, like tap in. I was even thinking about bringing it over to LA Benji Minaj. So we might even do that over there because it's that good. Speaking of which, join our Patreon www.patreon.com the Friendzone podcast. Or you can see us record this podcast every week in addition to wonderful other content that you'll love. So yes, we might watch that over there on the binge. The Real Housewives of Potomac had an incredible part three reunion which you can go on Carlos King's YouTube channel and watch me and Claudia Jordan and him recap that. This week we had a great show over there. And listen, Married to Medicine is knocking it out the park. We had a moment between Quad and Toya this week that was heartwarming. Sisterhood, like Quiet said back in the day, love, friendship, content, real trust. That's what we saw this week. Shout out to James Caldwell, AKA Spiller Boy tv, who in his review of the show he said, contessa, why you had that outfit on at Quiet's house? Contessa came down the Steps in a. Like, a bralette that had long green. Like, army green fringe on it. Not camouflage, but like, you know, that color green fringe. And the pants were long fringe like that. And she came down the steps doing like that or whatever. It was so funny. It was. She looked pretty, but it was just funny because he was right. It wasn't appropriate for Quad's house. It was appropriate for going to the club, but it was funny nonetheless. And listen, that's it. It's a lot of other good on tv. I am obsessed right now with this new show called Bad Only on now. That's tv.

[B]

Oh, my Lord.

[C]

If you know, you know. They have an elevated show that's got OG Naya Lee and a bunch of other people on big legs. Big Lex who's having issues. Who's having issues because LaRue and Tori from her show Big Lexus Bags collection are now on the same show as her. And so Big Lexus threw. She threw some orange juice in LaRue's face. That was the first physical altercation. This is a show where they are discouraging the violence and they're mandating dialogue. So it's like. That's what I mean when I say it's elevated. It's a different show. They're out in the. In the Virgin Islands. They have. They're in a huge mansion. Like, it's just. It's different from the other content now. That's tv.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Like that. So give that a look. And that's it for me this week for TV Land, y'.

[A]

All.

[C]

I ain't got nothing for you.

[B]

I have one treat for you. I literally was sitting here trying to find so Reneka Williams Bletcher. I hope I'm saying that right. She plays Willow on the sex lives of college girls. She reached out. Ah. And thanked us for talking about the show. Apparently her brother listens and was like, yo, I know. Isn't that so cool? And it just made her day to hear us talking and sharing so much love about the show. And I have a. This is. Wait. Oh, no. I lost the. This is Rena. Oh, my God. Why?

[C]

She's the soccer player she plays on the soccer team with.

[B]

For those of you who watch.

[C]

Hi, Rea. What's up? First of all, I love you on your work, and y' all are doing your thing on this show. It is an incredible, incredible show that I just discovered and binged the out of.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I love everything about it. Your character is amazing. Y' all make me laugh. And that is something that is very hard. Hard to do. It is just such a great show. Congratulations on all that's to come. Because I know that your star is only going up. Reni.

[B]

Okay, Congratulations.

[C]

And shout out to your brother. That's why you got to be cool with your family.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[C]

You let them know that was a.

[B]

Cool treat for us. So shout out to the sex lives of college girls. That means that's it for us this week. We hope you enjoyed the show. We love you so much. And we'll catch you guys next week.

[A]

Yes. Stay black and protect your magic.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Oh, my God. Please.

[B]

New vitamin water, zero sugar.

[A]

Pineapple passion fruit is packed with vitamins. Just like the amount of peas we packed in that time sentence. It's packed like your tote bag, the one you stole from your ex. Or your overpriced half a studio apartment. Or extra rushed rush hour traffic packed.

[B]

Like your calendar.

[A]

Triple booked at 5, of course.

[B]

Grab a vitamin water.

[A]

Did we mention it's packed with vitamins?