Leave A Voicemail

Summary

The Friend Zone – “Leave A Voicemail” (02/11/2026)

Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), Asante

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Friend Zone takes a heartfelt and often hilarious look at Black history—not just the history found in textbooks, but the living archives inside personal stories, family rituals, music, food, and community. Against the backdrop of Black History Month, the trio explores the importance of preserving these everyday narratives—“leave a voicemail”—whether through recipes, nightlife memories, family heirlooms, or simply recording and sharing stories. The main discussion is complemented by music recommendations, wellness advice, Black business spotlights, and lively banter that is as informative as it is entertaining.

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1. Main Discussion: The Power and Practice of Archiving Black Experience

Starts ~[34:00]

Why This Matters Now

• Black History as a Living Archive: The hosts reflect on how Black history and culture are preserved through community rituals, food, nightlife, family objects, and oral histories—much of which is often left undocumented or lost.
• Podcasting as Preservation: Asante notes, “Podcasts are archives...we are Black history.” [1:15:15] They urge listeners to find everyday ways of preserving their own stories and family traditions.

Black Meme Culture

• Deep dive into favorite Black memes and cultural moments from the internet.
  • Ms. Juicy, “the icon of meme culture,” gets special love. [35:56]
  • Nods to the “Black man during Black History Month” meme, and other viral moments.
  • Francesca notes the power of humor in preservation: “I literally do that every day.” [37:28]

Food, TikTok & Lost Recipes

• Asante introduces TikToker @WickedConfections/WickedConfessions, who’s reviving “Lost Black American Recipes.”
• Dustin: “She’s a beautiful woman and she can cook...she’s doing all the black historical recipes.” [40:31]
• Discussion on the importance of passing down recipes and adapting them—inspiration for listeners to write family food histories, even if revived with a “hot girl” twist!

Nightlife and Community as Archive

• Dustin and Asante reminisce about legacy LGBTQ+ venues like The Warehouse (Bronx), Tracks Atlanta, and nightly rituals at malls like Lenox Mall, painting them as formative rites of passage, especially in marginalized communities. [43:58–50:12]
• Dustin: “The club means a lot…you learn how to define your identity, where you fit in, what you like, what you don’t like. All that social capital gives you self-worth in a way...you don’t get it anywhere else.” [46:00]
• Francesca shares the New York club scene: Copacabana teen nights, Greenhouse, 40/40—and how such spaces shape coming-of-age, agency, and social navigation. [53:41–54:57]
• Fran: “The nightlife was a really big part of our life...that was important for me as a young woman coming into myself...a big part of development.” [54:59]

Family, Commuting & Intergenerational Memory

• Fran reflects on growing up in NYC, the profound coming-of-age journey of riding the trains solo at age 13. [57:05]
  • “Imagine putting your 13-year-old on the 9 train in New York City to commute for an hour from Manhattan to the Bronx.” [58:56]
• Community support—neighbors and peers looking out for each other, as with her childhood friend walking her to school from the projects—becomes a powerful archival story in itself. [63:13–64:38]
• Fran: “That’s what I mean about us and how we are with each other...even archiving that as a memory...stories like that are important.” [64:34]

The Call to Action: Everyday Archiving

• Save voicemails, scan photos, collect recipes, write down personal histories, and talk to your elders (or anyone close).
• “Most history is just ordinary people who refuse to forget.” [66:08]
• Fran suggests journals with prompts for elders as a low-pressure way to capture family lore.
• Asante: “Preservation doesn’t require a degree, just intention. So this week, back something up—because one day somebody’s gonna wish you did.” [89:46]

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2. Addressing Cultural Critiques & Representation

Super Bowl Segment: [01:28–13:14 and 120:31]

• Dustin and Fran break down the backlash against Bad Bunny’s Spanish-language Super Bowl halftime performance, calling out racism and xenophobia from figures like Megyn Kelly.
  • Dustin: “People sing in their native language. That’s not a new concept, white woman...be same el culo, señora…kiss my ass.” [04:41]
  • Megyn Kelly quoted: “This is supposed to be a unifying event for the country. Not for the Latinos…” [03:59]
• They highlight the significance of Bad Bunny’s visibility for Latinx, Black, and multicultural audiences, and debunk “downrating” attempts by right-wing groups.
• Discussion pivots to the importance of cultural representation:
  • “Everybody I know was celebrating that performance…if you felt some kind of way about him singing in Spanish, then fuck you.” [12:32]

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3. Community Feedback: Recap & Listener Comments

[Recap starts 19:26]

• Fran recaps last week’s episode (“Black Bottom and Paradise Valley”) on lost Black neighborhoods, setting off a flood of listener stories identifying similar erasures in cities like Savannah and Indianapolis.
• Asante and Fran read messages from Detroiters proud to reclaim and honor their heritage, including a shout-out to Paradise Valley Coffee Company.
  • Sienna Boy: “We saw a need for spaces that honored Black experiences. Since relocating to Brooklyn with his wife Cheyenne, Miles…now owns Café Noir…coffee selections all roasted and proudly labeled under the Paradise Valley brand.” [23:00]
• Fran and Asante spotlight Societies like the Society of Black Archaeologists, and support for Black/formerly Black neighborhoods and bookstores (e.g., Cafe Noir and Libro.fm).

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4. Black Business of the Week

[15:17]

• Highlight: Clean Design Home – A luxury Black-owned interior design brand specializing in allergen-aware, non-toxic bedding, bath essentials, and decor, founded by Robin Wilson.
  • Asante: “If you want to check them out, shopcleandesign.com…They sell bedding. They sell the damn bed.” [16:58]
• Fran gushes over her love for quality bedding, plugging her favorites but promising to explore Clean Design, too.

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5. Wellness Segment: “Protein Craze” with Jess from Diabetes Digital

[Wellness segment: 94:01–118:48]

The Issue

• “Everything says 10 more grams of protein...” – with protein added to everything from cereal to popcorn, is there such a thing as too much?
• Fran sets up the debate: “You know, you can start messing with your kidneys, right?” [95:16]
• Jess responds: “It is possible to eat too much of anything...the biggest challenge [with too much protein] is you’re crowding out other nutrients.” [96:04]

Key Takeaways

• For most adults, aim for 1.2–1.6g of protein per kg of body weight (divide weight in pounds by 2.2, then multiply).
• Overdoing protein can be expensive, crowd out other nutrients, and often leads to low fiber diets and digestive issues.
• Adjust your intake based on activity level; revisit the basics of balanced meals (protein, fat, carbs, fiber).
• Beware unverified advice from social media “experts” and misleading marketing.
  • “Protein has this health halo…people demonize one type of processed food but not protein bars.” [98:05]
• Work with licensed professionals and consider journaling to personalize and archive your journey.

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6. Music & TV Segments

Music (Songs Played)

[124:29 onward]

• Standouts include:
  • “Sixteen Summers” – Camper ft. Alex Isley & Rose Gold
  • “Antidote” – Duran Bernard & James Bamboo
  • “Bunce Road Blues” – J. Cole & Tems
  • “High Fashion” – I Swear Vezo
  • “Expensive” – DaniLeigh
  • “Roses” – Linda Dawn
  • “Sponsor My Act Bad” – Bad Dolly
  • “I Did This to Myself” – Thundercat, Lil Yachty & Flying Lotus
  • “E85” – Don Toliver
  • “10 out of 10” – Genia

TV

[138:53]

• Super Bowl reroutes usual Bravo programming – Sunday marks the return of Married to Medicine and Real Housewives of Potomac reunion.
• “If you’ve never watched Housewives, this is your chance to get in on the ground floor with the new city,” says Dustin, referencing the launch of Real Housewives of Rhode Island. [139:32]
• Review of Karen Huger’s one-on-one with Andy Cohen, reactions mixed: “I think people wanted Karen to get on that screen and say, ‘I’m a drunk and I could have really killed somebody...’ and she didn’t say that...” [142:02]

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7. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Black history and community rituals:
  “Most history is just ordinary people that refuse to forget.” – Asante [66:08]
• On meme culture’s value:
  “Humor is my business, so it’s hard for me not to laugh at things sometimes because it is natural for me.” – Dustin [35:23]
• On archiving nightlife:
  “That history needs to be archived...clubs close and shit all the time… Especially when it comes to, like, Black gay shit, especially...The club means a lot.” – Dustin [45:04]
• On growing up and commuting in NYC:
  “Imagine putting your 13-year-old on the 9 train in New York City...” – Francesca [58:56]
• On food tradition:
  “If nobody records these things, whether it’s those recipes, whether it’s the jokes…do they just disappear?” – Asante [43:09]
• Call to Action:
  “Preservation doesn’t require a degree, just intention...Back something up because one day somebody’s gonna wish you did.” – Asante [89:46]

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8. Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:28] Super Bowl and Bad Bunny controversy
• [19:26] Listener recap & comments on Black Bottom, Paradise Valley, archiving Black neighborhood history
• [34:00] Main discussion: archiving Black history, meme culture, TikTok recipes, nightlife, rites of passage, family rituals
• [94:01] Wellness: “Protein Craze” myth-busting, with Jess (Diabetes Digital)
• [124:29] Music segment: playlists and recommendations
• [138:53] TV rundown: Bravo/own highlights, Karen Huger interview

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Tone & Final Notes

The episode blends vulnerability, humor, and righteous anger (especially in the Super Bowl segment), rallying listeners to value and preserve the everyday moments of Black lives. The “Leave a Voicemail” motif emerges as both a literal and symbolic call to record, keep, and share our stories.

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Episode Title Explained

“Leave A Voicemail” is a call to action for all listeners: take steps, big or small, to record and share personal and communal histories, because today’s memories are tomorrow’s Black history.

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For more resources, Black business links, music playlists, and wellness notes, visit the episode’s description box or join the Friend Zone’s Patreon community.

Transcript

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[Dustin Ross]

Learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat. Welcome to the Friends.

[Francesca]

Every time I'm in the zone.

[Dustin Ross]

My name is Dustin.

[Francesca]

I'm Francesca, also known as. Hey, friend. Hey.

[Asante]

My name is Asante.

[Dustin Ross]

This is the friend zone. Let's start the show.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Calm down, calm down, calm down. I come in peace from the motherland.

[Asante]

Over here with these American.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Calm down.

[Dustin Ross]

That's right. You know, I felt there was nothing more fitting to open the show with than drag comedian Miss Sophia from Atlanta telling the world to calm down. Why don't you calm down? Because I'm over here dealing with these idiots in America. You do know the super bowl was this Sunday, right? I'm sure y' all know that. Shout out to everybody. Super Bowl Sunday. Hope you had a good time. There was a huge uproar because global icon, American, Puerto Rican bad bunny, okay, headlined the super bowl halftime show. He did an amazing job. It literally went on to become the most viewed super bowl halftime show in history.

[Francesca]

Saw that 135 million views.

[Dustin Ross]

That is like it is out of this world. And what an honor, right, to represent something so powerful in such a critically important time. Okay, so it was a big deal. Now, that being said, of course, there were people who chose to take issue with him performing. They just couldn't allow something good to happen, okay? They just had to have an issue with it. And one of them was none other than. Oh, God, please, what can I call her?

[Asante]

She call her something real nasty.

[Francesca]

She is gonna say someone else.

[Dustin Ross]

She looks like a. Have you ever seen somebody chew the end of Like a straw. A drinking straw. Like a plastic drinking straw?

[Francesca]

Yes.

[Asante]

Okay, so you are talking.

[Dustin Ross]

It's dents and stuff in it. You know what I'm saying? That's what this woman looks like. Her name's Megyn Kelly, and she is a often fired and banished media personality. She used to host several different things. She's been responsible for litigation. All kind of shit when it comes to being a bad person in media. And of course, being a raving, roaring racist woman as she is. She took issue with Bad Bunny super bowl performance. And I'm gonna play a couple of clips from her recent interview with Piers Morgan, of all people, and we're gonna talk about what she had to say thereafter. So here we go. Here's one clip of Megyn Kelly talking about the Bad Bunny super bowl performance.

[Megyn Kelly]

To get up there and perform the whole. The whole show in Spanish is a middle finger to the rest of America. Who gives a damn that we have 40. 40 million Spanish speakers in the United States? We have 310 million who don't speak a lick of Spanish. This is supposed to be a unifying event for. For the country. Not for the Latinos, not for one small group, but for the country. We don't need a black national anthem. We don't need a Spanish speaking, non English performing performer, and we don't need an ICE or America hater featured as our primetime entertainment now.

[Dustin Ross]

So she was obviously mad about.

[Francesca]

I can't even take it seriously, right?

[Dustin Ross]

It's so ridiculous, right? Because she literally just sounds like a steaming racist. You know what I'm saying? That's literally what she sounds like. Hothead. And she took issue with Bad Bunny's performance being in Spanish. We all know that he performs his music in Spanish language. Like that's part of what makes it cool to everybody else. I don't know what. You know what I'm saying? She was looking for. And people sing in their native language. That's not a new concept, White woman. But since she took so much issue with him speaking Spanish to that, I say be same el culo, senora, per man. Puta. Okay? That's what I say. And what that means is kiss my ass, ma'.

[Asante]

Am.

[Dustin Ross]

You can stay mad, you can cry about it, catch a brick hole. That's what that means.

[Asante]

Okay?

[Dustin Ross]

And that's what I got to say to her motherfucking ass. Now, she said some other things that were very inflammatory. She said something about, um. It just. It actually. I'm just gonna play it. I'll play it for y'. All check this second day.

[Francesca]

Mm.

[Megyn Kelly]

We have to keep the super bowl, which is a quintessential American event.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Football.

[Megyn Kelly]

That kind of football is ours. They call it American football. And the halftime show and everything around it needs to stay quintessentially American. Not Spanish, not Muslim, not anything other than good old fashioned American apple pie. There should be a meatloaf, maybe some fried chicken and an English speaking perform what the super bowl should be.

[Dustin Ross]

All that let me know is she can't cook. You already know. She look like her food be nasty. Anyway, you have no bit a meatloaf and fried chicken and football. It's hours, mind you. She probably can't even catch and she talking about it's hours. The football. The NFL is. What is it, 60% black? The players. It's a majority black group of people, dummy. So it is for everybody. You're right. It's just not all about you. She's a horrible woman. Horrible woman who shows her true colors. Let's not forget, she just was the one. Remind you, she's got teenage daughters. She was just asking and questioning whether or not it was really bad for young teenage girls to have those relationships with men have been highlighted in those files. Y' all know where this is going. She's a piece of shit and all. Again, all I have to say to that is, hola, bitch. You know what I'm saying? Because we speak in Spanish up in here. No matter if you like it or not, no matter how mad you are about it, I better not see you holding a taco. We better not see her doing anything. She want to be white and all American and ours. Then do everything by your goddamn self. That's what you do. She sounds ridiculous. And I'm so glad that her vulva tied into a Boy Scout rope knot while she out of anger as she was watching the super bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny. Thank you.

[Asante]

Oh, my God.

[Francesca]

I was trying to find. Hold on. Because I want to move on, maybe.

[Dustin Ross]

To fill up some more space with it because I ain't saying nothing about it, you know?

[Asante]

Fake asshole.

[Francesca]

The part that I find laughable is that Turning Point USA put together what I guess was their version of like the anti halftime show to try to draw viewers away from Bad Bunny because this is American, right? And they needed to be good old apple pie, whatever the fuck she said he had 135 million, 135 plus because there's a decimal in there somewhere. Turning Point. I don't even think they hit 5 million.

[Dustin Ross]

They didn't even hit 1 million because, you know, see, there's always going to be good people on. On the side of. Right. And some of those good people are skilled. You know, they didn't already have all these different people come and analyze the data. They identified that it was less than 1 million live viewers. The rest of that was bots. They've already identified all of that million wasn't even real.

[Francesca]

That wasn't an inflated.

[Dustin Ross]

And. And there's video footage of them watching Bad Bunny super bowl party at Mar a Lago.

[Asante]

Yeah, did you see that?

[Francesca]

Which obviously, because Trump commented on how awful the show was. The worst ever, which means he didn't even tune in to turning points, all.

[Dustin Ross]

Because Bad Bunny was singing in. That's the entire thing that they took issue with for this performance. They said that him singing in Spanish was a middle finger to America. Well, then guess what? Fuck you. If you a person who felt like Bad Bunny singing in Spanish, that. That amazing music that made people feel good, if you think that that was a middle finger to you, then it should have been.

[Francesca]

And it was. Yeah, it absolutely was.

[Dustin Ross]

I hope it gives you hell. I hope you can't sleep at night, and I hope your chest is hot, bitch. That's what I hope. I'm glad you're hungry about it.

[Asante]

Bad Bunny makes, like. Most of his catalog is like, Spanish look as the gay say Spanish down. So I just don't understand, like, what is it? Did you think he was gonna, like, do new records or rework them or. I just don't get it. Like, I was confused by that.

[Francesca]

He was gonna bow down, like, okay, this is an American platform. Let me, like, do a bilingual set so that people feel included. And he didn't. And I loved it. I love that he didn't say.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to Scotty Batman. The who?

[Francesca]

The Lady Gaga part.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, singing up there. I didn't either, but I was rolling with it. I like Lady Gaga.

[Commercial Announcer]

Same.

[Francesca]

I mean, I love her. She sounded amazing. She looks great. That's never gonna be, like, not expected, but I. It was like, is. Was that his way of trying to acquiesce a little bit to the white audience? Because I did not understand what she had to do. That's not even their song. Isn't that her song with Bruno Mars?

[Asante]

Bruno's right, friend. I feel like you're in my business right now.

[Francesca]

Cardi was there. That's the part that I didn't get. Cardi was whole ass there. Unless she didn't want to go. You know, we don't know the. The back end of the decisions being made. I don't know if there was a safety concern because remember, he had on.

[Dustin Ross]

Like a bulletproof vest, as he should have. Everybody on that field should have had one on, to be honest with you. But he. She's about to start her tour, so my guess.

[Francesca]

I don't know, but this is perfect marketing for the tour.

[Dustin Ross]

True. But I know she also been in intense rehearsals. Cause she just had that kid. And so like, she literally has been posting videos every day rehearsing for her tour. I know that that would have took, like, a lot to overlap, you know what I'm saying? So it may have been a thing. She just was like, well, I'll appear, I'll pop out, but I don't want to invest in like, promotional performing, you know what I'm saying? Which is crazy, because if I was a recording artist and I got a chance to say ABC on the mic, Super Bowl, I'm doing it because all the perf. When they. Not when they. Y' all know I love awards. And when they nominate that halftime performance for consideration for like, Primetime Emmys, shit like that, all the performers get it. That's how Mary J. Blige and all them won that Emmy when they did the halftime show a couple years ago. You know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

I know that.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, she has an Emmy for that. So, like, that's why I wish Cardi would have gone ahead and did it. Because I have a feeling that this performance is going to get recognized in that way. So I wish she would have angled for that. But for whatever her reasons were, I was just glad to see her standing on that set dancing and smiling. It was good to. Just to see her visible as a part of that moment that I know it meant a lot to Latin people, you know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

It really did.

[Dustin Ross]

It meant a lot to black people too. It meant a lot to us. That is some shit that everybody. Everybody I know was celebrating that performance. I'm just gonna put it to you like that. Everybody I know, not just my industry friends, not just people who keep up with what's currently going on. Regular ass people back home that I know who don't engage with. A lot of people who are different from them were watching that performance and enjoying it and celebrating it. So again, if you felt some kind of way about him fucking singing in fucking Spanish, then fuck you. That's why it felt like that. Because you deserve to get fucked and not in the good way.

[Francesca]

Job well done.

[Dustin Ross]

Welcome to the Friend Zone. Your weekly look into all things mental health. Mental health, mental wellness this week. Mental health. Okay, okay. Mental hygiene. Because who in the fuck wants a musty brain? Not me. Hey, friend. Hey, Sante. How you doing? As a matter of fact, not even how you doing? Como estas?

[Francesca]

Okay, let's do the old show in Spanish.

[Dustin Ross]

It, you know, I tried. Don't even get me started. Okay.

[Asante]

I will say it was, yeah, Ricky Martin.

[Francesca]

Just the fountain of youth. You hear me? Fabulous.

[Asante]

I was like, look at Ricky Martin.

[Francesca]

I need to know what's the diet? What's the lifestyle, brother?

[Asante]

No, Mark Anthony, please. As soon as you said it, as soon as she said came out my brain.

[Dustin Ross]

That's my man. Mark Anthony was singing on that shit.

[Francesca]

Always.

[Dustin Ross]

When he gonna get Marc Anthony gone.

[Francesca]

Singing like it's his last song ever.

[Dustin Ross]

This thing on. It's finna be Mark Anthony be singing. Look, friend. John Cicada, I don't want to fight. Another day, another day Just another day.

[Francesca]

Without you without you Just another day. We love you, John Sakati, you know?

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to John Sakati.

[Francesca]

Meet up.

[Dustin Ross]

So that's what this is going to be. That's what it's going to be, man, because it's time. I'm on a high from Sunday, you.

[Asante]

Know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

Asante you my weekend was good. Oh no, that's not what I was asking, but go ahead.

[Asante]

Okay, great. Even look even better. Continue friend.

[Francesca]

As an Asante, you have a black business that you would like to highlight in this week's episode.

[Asante]

That is correct. I would like for you all to open up your browsers if you are at home or not on the road. But if you have your phone near you, go to shopcleandesign.com shop clean design. Why do you keep doing that? Clean design home is the black business this week. They are a luxury home goods and interior design company built for people who care about both beauty and well being. They have curated for Allergen Awareness.

[Dustin Ross]

That's all I give a fuck about.

[Asante]

To be curated for Allergen Aware living and crafted with non toxic high quality textiles, bedding, bath essentials and decor. Their collection helps you create a serene stylist sanctuary that you'll love. The Visionary was built by Robin Wilson. She's a trailblazing black entrepreneur, designer and author who has spent over two decades redefining what it means to live a healthy, beautiful home. Growing up with severe allergies and asthma, Robin turned her personal challenges into purpose creating a lifestyle and design. Design philosophy that blends wellness, sustainability and style. If you want to check them out again, that's shopcleandesign.com love it.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to you, Robin.

[Francesca]

Am I on the wrong site? You said shopcleandesign.com.

[Asante]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Francesca]

Shop clean. There's another one. Design. Okay.

[Asante]

Did it come up?

[Francesca]

Oh, yep, it came right up.

[Asante]

Oh, it was. Bye.

[Dustin Ross]

Go ahead, Robin.

[Francesca]

There was another one that had this. A similar name. All right, nice.

[Asante]

Yeah, they have all sorts of gifts, from little products to big products. They sell bedding. They sell the damn bed. Okay. They sell handles, laundry, toothbrush holders, door stoppers, robes, all kinds, anything that you can think of for home. And again, they built it with allergens in mind. So if you want to check them out, shop cleaned.

[Francesca]

Design.com I actually love this because I don't know what I'm going through, but I have become. I have been going crazy with bedding. I don't know what is going on with me, but I have ordered so much bedding in the past month.

[Dustin Ross]

You just fold it up. It's a throw in there. Go get that throw. It's comforter in there.

[Francesca]

Yeah. And my linen closet just looks so beautiful because I have all the like literal 100 flaxseed linen. Like I love linen and I just been obsessing. My two favorites are bed threads. And then there's this UK based company called Piglet and oh my God, so good. Our bed has just been looking straight out of a catalog. I don't know what I'm going through. Maybe it's my way of. Of just indulging in pleasure. Because the world is on fire.

[Dustin Ross]

Right?

[Asante]

Yes. You're betting Renaissance.

[Francesca]

Really just nesting. But anyway, thank you for this because I see they have duvet covers. I see they have sheet sets and comforters and pillows and everything. Even mattresses. So I'll definitely be checking them out. As always, that that link will be in the description box. Do you guys have any announcements or anything you'd like the audience to know?

[Dustin Ross]

Asante, your name come first. We know we do alphabetical order. Now you know that's how we do this.

[Asante]

Thank you all to everyone that's part of the gated community. If you are not familiar with the gated community, that'[e-mail] friends on podcast. Thank you for everyone that joined us for our rescheduled live last week for the Wednesday wind down. If you want to find out more information about that patreon.com friend zone podcast is where you can find out what the wind down is. It happens on the last Wednesday of each month as well as the other premium materials that we have provided for you with our book club. Our TV Watch Club book show I thought was very funny and I think I'm going to continue to call it that while I'm doing this. And then we've got more special fun things happening for you. So check us out [e-mail] the Friendzone podcast.

[Francesca]

Perfect. Let's jump into the recap segment. Last week's episode titled Black Bottom and Paradise Valley, we celebrated Black History Month. The words Black bottom have always been a good thing. That was the slogan of the episode. Thank you. Dusta Ross. We look back at the rich black history of the now defunct Detroit neighborhoods Black Bottom and Paradise Valley and it was a great, great conversation. A lot of Detroit natives wrote in. I will be reading a few of those, feeling really proud and feeling informed. Some even put us on to plays and documentaries and things that can help us find more information in case we were interested. So Asante, right. Thank you very much for that. Dustin Ross Asante would you find in the comments, I was gonna say the Twitter streets.

[Asante]

I found a lot of things in the Spotify streets actually. So I am in the street still. The first one I want to share in Spotify, this one is pertaining to the music segment. This is from darbeckle. The comment reads lol. I'm sorry but Kesha made perfect sense for Obsessed at the tribute. She's known for the auto tune and Obsessed, it's Mariah's most auto tuned song. But I feel like Teddi Swims was great as well.

[Dustin Ross]

I I'm just gonna tell I'm coming out. I'm just gonna come out. I enjoyed Kessa singing that part. Like I told y' all on the.

[Francesca]

Show, I still gotta listen back.

[Asante]

Up.

[Dustin Ross]

And apart the way she was singing it, I was just like. I started to hit the up in the bar.

[Asante]

You was doing the Wendy Williams. Oh I also want to shout out to Juana. Juana's comment reads, the story of Black Bottom in Paradise Valley is the story of so many cities. The West Broad street corridor corridor was the black business area of Savannah, Georgia and they threw I16 right down the middle of it. They are also talking about moving the interstate from the area. Smh. So I just thought it was funny. Not funny. I thought it was ironic rather. There's so many places that we've known this to happen so I thought it was so dope that you had brought that Dustin and so many comments in Spotify were sharing their experiences in their own neighborhoods or areas that they live now. And there was one more comment that I wanted to share. I should have saved it. It moved. Oh, here's one. This one's from Leia828dust an amazing episode here in Indianapolis. A popular spot is the Canal today since the campus is IU Indy Indiana State Museum and the Canal. However, all of that area used to be known as Ransom Place. Thriving black neighborhood. The only only buildings left standing from that time are the Madam C.J. walker Theater and the historically black high school Crispus Atticus. The only way you would know this is if you took the time to read a small plaque right off the canal.

[Francesca]

Wow.

[Dustin Ross]

Read that plaque.

[Francesca]

Like we said, it's like every city has their version of this. It's crazy to think about a lot.

[Asante]

Of a lot of comments pertaining to the main issue that you brought up at Dustin. So it was a very, very great episode according to the fans and ourselves. Myself as well.

[Dustin Ross]

I really appreciate that.

[Asante]

What did you find out there in those streets?

[Francesca]

So I was in the gated community and Sienna Boy said what up Doe? Long time the Friend Zone listener, first time commenter. When I first saw this episode's title, I was immediately excited because I'm a Detroit native who grew up knowing exactly what Black Bot and Paradise Valley represented. Thank you Dustin for talking about this amazing part of black history from our city. I was also thrilled to share a story about a black owned business close to my heart. My brother in law actually co founded Paradise Valley Coffee Company in 2020. The company's tagline is a premium black coffee roasted in Detroit, probably the blackest coffee ever and it reflects their mission perfectly. Mil, also a Detroit native, chose the name chose the name deliberately to honor the once thriving black owned business and entertainment district in Detroit. Recently featured in a column magazine article titled Brewing Black How 5 Black Owned Cafes Are Redefining American Coffee Culture. Paradise Valley Cafe Coffee Company's goal was straightforward yet ambitious to reclaim a space for black Detroiters in the city's coffee scene. And in a 2025 Detroit Free Press interview, Miles stated, we saw a need for spaces that honored black experiences. Since relocating to Brooklyn with his wife Cheyenne, Miles has become the proud owner now of Cafe Noir, which is located in the Carol gardens neighborhood at 421 Court street in Brooklyn. And it's nestled in the heart of Brooklyn. Cafe Noir is a charming destination known for its welcoming atmosphere, exceptional coffee selections all roasted and proudly Labeled under the Paradise Valley brand. Something to check out an additional black business. I love that.

[Dustin Ross]

Thank you so much for sending that in so we can buy that up. Let's buy all that damn coffee. I don't even drink coffee. I'm f to buy coffee.

[Asante]

Buy that up. I've been using my French press, so.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, you got a coffee cup.

[Francesca]

Ooh, classy.

[Dustin Ross]

I knew that was gonna take him.

[Francesca]

Is that a reference?

[Dustin Ross]

Yes, that's a diamond. No, baby, worse. You got to go in the basement. Now that's tv and bad.

[Francesca]

You meant that we love.

[Dustin Ross]

And it was good Sunday, but go ahead.

[Francesca]

It was Ayanna Flewellen. I love.

[Dustin Ross]

Beautiful name.

[Francesca]

Yeah, just very flowy. I love this discussion about black bottom. Shameless plug. For folks interested in more histories like this, check out the Society of Black Archaeologists. We are. We are a collective of over 200 archaeologists digging up our rich histories that not only highlights our trauma, but also our triumph. How we lived, loved, and built community and family under dire circumstances. Our members are doing work across the country and around the world to share more of these understudied black histories, making them more tangible and easier to educate the public. That's amazing. Once again, that's the Society of Black Archaeologists.

[Dustin Ross]

Damn.

[Francesca]

And then lastly, Buenos diaz. I love that that's your name on Instagram. Said, hey, friend, I just heard Asante ask folks where they get their audiobooks on the latest episode. And I figured I'd chime in. As someone who works in book media. She said, so Libby is great.

[Asante]

Insider answer, right?

[Francesca]

She said, libby is great. But to answer the question about why you have to wait, this is a common misunderstanding. Libraries have to pay on a per license basis for every copy of a book, be it digital or audio. So the reason you have to wait for audiobooks or ebooks on Libby is just that all the copies they have permission to use are loaned out.

[Asante]

Wow.

[Francesca]

And it is not right. That's kind of crazy. And it's not cheap for them to acquire those licenses in the first place.

[Dustin Ross]

Shut us up on SG is.

[Francesca]

So the issue isn't with the libraries or with Libby, but with the way publishing handles drm. Of course. I asked her, what's drm? She said, digital Rights Management.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

She also said, and if you get a chance to shout them out, the place I love to tell people to get audiobooks, books is Libro fm. I love that because Libro means books in Spanish. They are basically the answer to audible. They are basically the answer to audible. But in support of independent bookstores you can even pick the bookshop you want your purchases to benefit often do Broadway Books, right? Or Grand Gesture, one of the few romance books in the country. And it's black woman queer owned here out in Portland. So that's pretty cool.

[Asante]

I love that.

[Francesca]

So that's a way to connect with local bookstores.

[Dustin Ross]

There's a joke there. We're supporting this. We love it. But a black queer woman owned anything named Grand Gesture is funny.

[Asante]

You know what?

[Francesca]

So Libro FM is another way that you can listen to books and support local bookstores in your area. Dustin Ross what did you find in those Twitter streets?

[Dustin Ross]

Got to get it together. Okay, so the one tweet I want to highlight this week, it just. It just. This is feel good stuff that it just make all of us smile. It comes from Elmo.

[Francesca]

Elmo.

[Dustin Ross]

Elmo tweeted he said that bunny. He tweeted this on Sunday. That bunny. Or Monday. Excuse me. He said that bunny was amazing. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny. Elmo loves you. Mr. Good Bunny with a heart, music notes and a bunny emoji. Look at that.

[Francesca]

Oh, Sesame street. Always been on the right side of history.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to Elmo and like Patti LaBelle said, A, B, C. Okay. Shout out to Sesame Street.

[Francesca]

You are crazy as hell. And that is it this week. It's the shoulders for me. You said a C. Let's jump into this week's episode.

[Dustin Ross]

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[Dustin Ross]

Do that, do that.

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Francesca]

This week's episode is an Asante production. We're going in cold, but we trust you, brother. What we talking about this week?

[Asante]

This week, we are talking about something important. I feel like it's a great time as it's Black History Month. Dustin gave us a very, very great episode last week.

[Dustin Ross]

Thank you.

[Asante]

But we're all. We're just gonna have a conversation this week because I saw something happening on social media, and it always happens around this time. And I'm not talking about the meme of y' all showing the black man going to work and getting passed around by the white people because it's Black History Month. Okay? I'm talking about. Have y' all seen that meme before? Y' all know whenever it's Black History Month, they're like, it's this time of year, and they show a black person, all the white people doing some shit. Okay, great. Actually, I'm gonna find it and send it. Maybe tag them, put in the real. But I don't know how to find those things. Sometimes they just happen to me, and I'm like, why did this happen to me? And I scroll past and then I share them with you guys, and they didn't happen to you guys, and you're blessed.

[Dustin Ross]

I have seen that man walking past that lady. He was like, shut the fuck up, bitch. It's Black History Month. You know what I'm talking about?

[Asante]

Yes. Yes.

[Francesca]

In New York.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

Not funny, but funny. Because she's sitting around like, my God.

[Dustin Ross]

You know, it's difficult for me. Humor is my business. So it's hard for me not to laugh at things sometimes because it is natural for me. So I'm sorry, I don't know how to say, all due respect, because she got disrespected. So I don't know how to reframe.

[Francesca]

That, but I don't even think she did anything right. She was just walking. Right? That's the way it works.

[Asante]

You know, this is a good. This is a good moment. Since this is hitting. What are some of your favorite black memes?

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, black memes.

[Francesca]

Favorite black memes.

[Dustin Ross]

Anything by Miss Juicy. Anything. Anything from Miss Juicy, baby.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Dustin Ross]

Anything from Juicy.

[Asante]

All right. It works.

[Dustin Ross]

I was gonna say of meme culture that is often unsung gardening. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Can you come with something else? All the. All the things that miss Juicy because she was so expressive. Remember when she called the dressing basalamic? She didn't know how to say Balsamiq. And other ladies on her cast were laughing and asking her to say it again. Like, what you call it? Ms. Juicy is an icon also. She has. She did a couple of crossover appearances. Remember she was on the Real Housewives of Atlanta when she was at that Christmas party, The one that Portia beat that girl up in the eye. Remember Portia ran down on that girl.

[Asante]

He's disrespectful as fuck.

[Dustin Ross]

But before she went inside, Nene had walked in and saw Ms. Juicy dressed as a Christmas elf. And what did she say? Asante?

[Francesca]

Oh, no.

[Dustin Ross]

She said, juicy, you a damn elf.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Juicy, you a damn elf.

[Dustin Ross]

And Juicy was cracking up. She was just.

[Asante]

Oh, God, yeah, Ms. Juicy. I think that it's funny. Housewives has always given us moments like that where there are other people around. But yes, Ms. Juicy definitely is some great black history. And you know what? House Swaps is great black history in itself as well, but. Or great memes that it has. Fred, what are some of your favorite black memes?

[Francesca]

My favorite is the older lady that's sitting on the couch and she goes, I don't even know what they were saying, but it's so felt. I literally do that every day. That's probably my favorite. I actually love the intros, too, that Dustin has brought. Like the spaces between your teeth.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to none other than James Caldwell. Spill it, boy. TV on YouTube, who is one of the most hilarious online commentators when it comes to television show reviews and just current events. James Caldwell is a naturally hilarious black man.

[Francesca]

So damn funny.

[Dustin Ross]

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And he's really, really nice. So shout out to James Caldwell. Follow him. Spill it. But if you ever wondered where that opening intro clip comes from, he said, if you don't cinch your goddamn ass.

[Asante]

Down with them spaces in between your teeth.

[Dustin Ross]

That comes from James Caldwell, the one and only unduplicated James Caldwell. So follow him. Spill it, boy. Tv. Shout out to Spillet, boy.

[Francesca]

So funny. Those are my favorite. Those are the ones that come to mind.

[Dustin Ross]

How does it go, friend?

[Francesca]

The irony that I have spaces in between my feet, so I spit out.

[Dustin Ross]

One right now and be showing it when I'm laughing. And randomly. I discovered James's YouTube content because he had done a review of Married to Medicine back when Quad and Lisa Nicole got into that screaming match and she threw the water on. What about your lesbian relationship, bitch?

[Francesca]

Oh, when they were outside, I saw him reviewing that.

[Dustin Ross]

This is how long I've been following him back when that originally aired. Okay. I saw him reviewing that and he had me dying. And then James used to review Queen Sugar and he would tear. He could not stand the character Darla. He thought she was so self serving.

[Asante]

And just.

[Dustin Ross]

He would. He. No, that's his goddamn family. He would be cussing her ass out every review. And it was hilarious. So shout out to James car. You can go back and watch all that on his channel too. All those videos are still on there from way back then. So. Yeah, that's.

[Asante]

That's great. I'm glad that we. The Internet has given us such great black moments that truly some of it's come from people being funny and being natural and being regular and being themselves. And that's what this episode's really about. You know, us as content creators. I feel like there's so many people that are just having a good time on the Internet, whether it's what they tweet or whether it's what they TikTok. And while I was on the TikTok, I. You know, because we go to TikTok. Well, we use social media sometimes to express ourselves, sometimes to make us laugh and sometimes for information. Right. And there's always really cool information. And I think that this show, you know, we intersect all those things very well all the time. But I saw this woman. Her name is Wicked Confections. Have you ever heard this name?

[Dustin Ross]

Yep. And she was doing all the black recipes. She's a beautiful woman and she can cook. She was doing all the black historical recipes. I'm not. I don't want to step on your toes, if that's what you're about to talk about.

[Asante]

No, but yeah, I'm glad you're familiar.

[Francesca]

Yes, Wicked Confections.

[Asante]

But it's no, there's no E in Wicked. So it's. Or so maybe it's Wicked Confessions. I'm sorry, girl, for messing your thing up, but she is from Houston, Texas. Yes, friend, I don't know if you see, but she's been doing a series, Lost Black American Recipes.

[Francesca]

Why does it say Sonia Norwood?

[Dustin Ross]

I saw that. I don't know why.

[Francesca]

And I'm like, is that her real name?

[Dustin Ross]

But I saw that. Yes, I did see that. And I did think that. I did think that, friend. I did when I saw it.

[Francesca]

You never know. You know what I mean?

[Dustin Ross]

She trying to be funny.

[Francesca]

Sonia Norwood custom Cookies.

[Asante]

Well, I came across this page of this woman. This.

[Dustin Ross]

Maybe she wants to be down. She wanna be down. Okay. Yes. And friend Also, fun fact about her, she uses smeg appliances. So, like, when she mixes stuff up, she does. She got a smeg hand mixer. Yeah, she. Yeah. You know, I knew that would connect some dots for you when I said that.

[Asante]

Yes, yes, thank you. Thank you for throwing that in there, Dustin. But she. So she does. I checked out some of her other videos, and she does just look like, generally, overall. Overall. That she can, like, cook.

[Dustin Ross]

Hell, yeah.

[Asante]

And I like her commentary, but right now, she's doing a series on lost black American recipes. And I thought it was super dope that she literally. She does these. She finds these recipes, and while she's making them, she's making a spin on them.

[Dustin Ross]

Them.

[Asante]

So she's telling you what they. What they originally were, what they originated from and what happened with them, and, you know, why they were passed down. And she's just making them see, you know, how they will play out today. So I think it's funny because in one of her videos, she was actually commenting because I guess one of the comments were like, you know, if you're gonna make the old recipe, then why aren't you using xyz? And she was like. She literally said, I am not a pioneer woman. Right. I am a hot girl. And I took me out. I was like, sold.

[Francesca]

Speaking of, she be dressed in these videos.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Francesca]

Can I be real for those on Patreon. Look at this outfit. It's up.

[Asante]

One of the first videos I watched her, I was like, is she AI.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, she's that. She's that polished because her skin, her hair.

[Francesca]

Absolutely. Wow. Nice.

[Asante]

She was so beautiful. I was like, is she AI. So. And that's what sent me down the rabbit hole.

[Francesca]

Nice. I love that.

[Dustin Ross]

Me too, Tay.

[Asante]

But, yeah, I thought that it was amazing that I came across this page where she's doing these recipes. And I think that it's super dope that she's using her platform and doing it her way. And especially as the conversation's been going on about, you know, what. What we can do, how we can all play our part, I've been thinking about just, you know, if nobody records these things, whether it's those recipes, you know, whether it's the jokes, whether it's the. Anything that black people do, then do they just disappear? So I wanted to take the time out to kind of give everyone perspective on how they can, you know, play their role. Because when we think about black history, we normally think about museums and textbooks, but, you know, most of what somebody. Most of what we know actually came from somebody's grandmama or somebody at church or, you know, a cookout saying, you know, that ain't how it happened, right? And we be making fun of people for always bringing up old shit.

[Dustin Ross]

Sometimes you need to. Yeah, sometimes you need to bring up. Oh, shit. And I. I've been thinking a lot about that lately when it comes to, like, how can I tell this story? So I was walking in New York City, and I walked past this place where it used to be a legendary, iconic nightclub for, like, black gay men in the late 90s, early 2000s, right? Called the Warehouse in the Bronx. And so I was just thinking about the history in that spot. Cause I never got to go to the Warehouse. That was a little before my time of, like, partying. But it was like a. People would travel from all over the country, like, fly into New York City. It was like a portal to a different experience for a lot of people. And so I started thinking about some of the parties I've been to. You know, rest in peace to my dear. My best friend, Frank Watson. But, you know, he used to throw amazing parties. We used to throw amazing parties. He used to throw rather amazing parties in New York. And I just been thinking about archiving videos and pictures of that stuff some kind of way, because clubs close and shit all the time to me.

[Francesca]

And, man, you ain't, like, when it.

[Dustin Ross]

Comes to, like, black gay shit, especially, like, the club. And socially networking amongst the community is really a survival element, right? For us find a community so that history needs to be archived. Like, these were the spots. These were the days. These was what it looked like, like, videos and pictures of us. And I've been thinking about that project some kind of way. So if any one of you steal my idea, love that I'm just playing. Because we all got our own history, right? You can't still listen.

[Asante]

But I support your idea and I feel so seen in your idea. Because I was gonna ask, when you think about your own history, you know, what comes to mind? Is it something in your family? Is it a person or is it a place or a sound? And the reason I feel so seen, because when I was thinking about this, I was thinking about. I was like, when I used to party down in Atlanta, like, and then I thought about Tracks Atlanta. And I literally. Those were my first thoughts. So for you to talk about this.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, my mama like that. Because those moments, people will hear this and think that we're just talking about having fun at a nightclub or whatever, right? It's so much deeper than that. There are you, you, you learn how to define your identity, where you fit in, what you like, what you don't like. And all of that social capital gives you self worth in a way, you know what I'm saying? That's not unhealthy, but in a way that is necessary because you don't get it anywhere else, because everybody else is telling you it's wrong to be like that. So that's why I went, I, I narrowed the lens a little bit to the gay because the, the, the, the things that happen to you and the ways that you change by being in those social environments is really definitive. And so it's important in a way that I don't think is replicated in a lot of other communities, you know what I'm saying? I'm sure it is in its own way, but it's a little heavier when it comes to our shit. So I really feel strongly called to archiving that shit some kind of way, you know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

And those spaces don't exist for these newer, like even whatever version that would be for the kids now, they don't have that. And I think it would be important to have that archived so they can maybe feel inspired to create their own versions of it.

[Dustin Ross]

And I think that that idea should be replicated for us all. If you young, if you black and in your 30s and 40s, you need to sit down and just, just write about your good times, you know what I'm saying? Where you were, who you was with, the shit that happened, you know what I'm saying? Just write it all down to journal it, you know what I'm saying? Get you a bamboo pin, friend. We can make this sustainable. We gonna get us some bamboo pins.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dustin Ross]

And write, because I just think it's important to organize our memories in that way.

[Asante]

For sure. We are literally the new black historians. Like every time I go back to Atlanta, when I'm there with people, I'm always just pointing out things that used to be. And people think it's so interesting. Like I'm still mad about. This is such a small thing to be mad about, but I'm still mad when I be downtown. And what was formerly Spring street, that's, you know, right there where the Varsity is now, it's Ted Turner Drive. And I'm just like, this is Spring street forever.

[Dustin Ross]

It will be in that parking lot. I, I'm not gonna go off because I'll tell another 10 minute story, but I just have a lot of memories about that center around that very parking lot that you're talking about. Asante.

[Asante]

Yes. Just give us a quick little bite. Just because this has been like, when I say, you picked that right out of my head about the club, because it's not even like you said, it's not even about it being a good time. But it's like when you're young and you're learning yourself and you're learning about a place where you're accepted and what that community's like and all the different versions of what you could be, what you don't want to be, like, making random connections with people, learning, like, how to move, learning about just the. The work, the world.

[Dustin Ross]

And it was thrilling because you lying to your family about who you are and what you like or whatever. So it's the one place you can go and be free of that. You know what I'm saying? And so while you're there, you meet people, you form friendships that are unlikely, and y' all become just important to each other. It's just. It's just a lot. The club means a lot when it comes to that shit. So I have a lot of memories. My very first time going to any Pride anywhere, any year I went to Atlanta. Pride. It wasn't my first Pride that year, but it was my first year of going to Prides, because I started in Chicago and then I went to la. And I was like, I'm going to Atlanta. So I went to Atlanta. I was by myself. I had rented a Hummer H2. It was blue with a bunch of bars on the front and back. So it was a huge suv. I had no shirt on. I had on some basketball shorts, a hat to the back, and I had a grill in my mouth. And I was blast. I don't wanna say. Well, at the time. This was before everything happened, so whatever. I was blasting 12 play by R. Kelly, right? And I literally saw him in this big truck. It's me, you know what I'm saying? And I'm blasting some R and B shit.

[Asante]

You can't even.

[Dustin Ross]

I motherfucking pulled through that parking lot, Tay. The people did like this.

[Asante]

They parted, you know. You know where the Varsity is, Frank?

[Francesca]

Huh?

[Asante]

Imagine a sea of homosexuals.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm talking about Sea. It looked like.

[Asante]

Imagine the Javits center filled out with blacks, but then put them in the.

[Dustin Ross]

Varsity in that parking lot. Wow.

[Asante]

I pulled in over to that BP across the street, which is now Park Club, and a bunch of other.

[Dustin Ross]

And also that's shout out to my boy, Vinnie, entrepreneur In Atlanta. Who owns that V12. That's V12. One of the hottest spots in Atlanta right now.

[Asante]

People.

[Dustin Ross]

Whenever you see those videos of people walking in that club in Atlanta with all the sparklers and the sign with their names and all the waitresses celebrating as they walk up themselves, that's V12. That's Vinnie's spot.

[Francesca]

Oh.

[Asante]

And he's.

[Dustin Ross]

He's just. That's his second restaurant. He's dope. But anyway, long story short, I backed the truck in and got out. I'm a new face. I don't know none of these people. And I'm by myself. Get out and just sit on top of the hood of that truck and just smoke the black and mild. This. Before I even smoked weed, I had a black and mild and sat on the front of that hood, and it changed my life to this day. There are people in my life that I met that day, from that night to this day. Okay? So, like, it just.

[Francesca]

I love that so much.

[Asante]

And that was that parking lot one year.

[Dustin Ross]

That was a Hertz Gold.

[Asante]

I did that parking lot one year with XD. One year where XD was. Came by. Oh, did you? Yep. Like 2009, I think. 2008 or 9 me. XD. I was like, come. You should come to Pride. Okay, that's beautiful. That was Dustin. You just drifting on a music baby.

[Dustin Ross]

When I tell you.

[Asante]

I'm telling you, it's something about those memories, though. And especially when we think about, like, our black history, those black clubs, like, you know, dime a dozen. A dime a hundred, actually. You know what I'm saying? Like.

[Dustin Ross]

Because why would I even do that by myself? So it didn't even have to be by myself. But I just was always, like, I don't trust nobody but me. You know what I'm saying? So I'm just gonna be by myself.

[Asante]

Which, honestly, you wasn't doing bad in Atlanta, especially for crying.

[Dustin Ross]

Like, just be like, it. I'm gonna do this by myself and be.

[Asante]

But it's also time sometimes to be cautious if you by yourself. Like, you know, it's a time to be carefree. Yes. But also, you know, you gotta be on your guard. Anyway, friend, what about you? When you think about your own history, what comes to mind? Is there like a. Like a place or community or even just a person that you think of that would, like, you know, tell stories or that you would go to for advice and things or just anything that speaks to you? Like, when you think about, like, things that made you. And, like, you're like, Part of your makeup and things that you want to. You want to. Not necessarily you want to spread. Because I feel like just by talking about whatever comes to mind, you're spreading it, right? Like being a New York girl. What are some things that you think about when it comes to, like.

[Dustin Ross]

You mean, like, experiences, right?

[Francesca]

Like, I'm trying to understand. You mean, like growing up in New York.

[Asante]

Yes, growing up. I mean, well, yes, growing up in New York. But also, is there anything that you feel like were rites of passage, like, those types of experiences? Like, sometimes I feel like things are familiar and they deal with family, but sometimes I feel like they're also, like, cultural to where you're at. So I might be batting a million trying to say, because you're in New York, you know, but also, you know, I know Harlem well.

[Francesca]

I mean, I guess to kind of. If I'm a stay on the frequency that Dustin's touching on, even, like, the nightlife. As a teenager growing up in New York, we started being outside and clubbing very young. You know, we were at the bars at 12 and 13. We were at the. The teen night at Copacabana. Shout out to everyone that grew up in New York. That's where we would gather at Copacabana. When it was downtown by the water, by the Hudson. Remember, all the clubs used to be on that 11th Avenue, like Pasha, Rye, Pasha, and. And we had. Club Exit was like a big one for us. Okay, Greenhouse. Greenhouse. Did you get to experience Greenhouse?

[Dustin Ross]

Yes. And what was down under the.

[Francesca]

Because that was a little bit later. Like, a little later. That was probably, what, mid-20s, late 20s, maybe. Mid-20s, maybe.

[Asante]

I was gonna say, I feel like Greenhouse was kind of like the era I remember.

[Francesca]

That's why I'm like, you guys might have.

[Dustin Ross]

Actually, that's where Chris Brown and Drake fought, right?

[Asante]

Yeah. Chris Brown did something at Greenhouse.

[Dustin Ross]

I remember Chris Brown. Something with a bottle or something. It was a fight at Greenhouse over Rihanna. I remember that.

[Francesca]

That. Oh, my God.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

And we had the tunnel.

[Dustin Ross]

I never got to go to the tunnel, but I used to read about that in Vibe and. And long for the chance to be in that building because it. It was so me. You know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

It was iconic. And then even 4040, like, you know, 4040 was cool. 4040 was a little different. That, for me personally, was more scenic. It was like. Yeah, it was very much the, like, industry people. I didn't really give a fuck about that. I wanted to be with the people, like, party, dancing, having fun you know, so in Brooklyn. But the nightlife was a really big part of our life. And it kind of makes me sad when I read studies now about how young people, like teenagers, people in their early 20s, are not going outside, they're not dating, they're not having sex, they're not socializing, they're not going through the. These rites of passage, of socialization. The way that we were. You know, like, that was. That was important for me as a young woman coming into myself, just even understanding how to engage and, you know, just. I don't know, it was. I think it's a big part of development of even knowing how to, like, be out in the street, be out in the world with people, you know, drinking. Like, there's things that I had to learn and learn to manage and how to like. Like what it was. What was my experience as a teenager? Being out at a party, you know, saying no to certain things, saying yes to certain things, being out late, meeting people. They're friends that I made even from the train. Like, I'll never forget. I wish sometimes I want to look for them because I'm like. That was so funny when I was taking the. At the time, it was the one, the nine train, which is now the one train. And we would take the nine as me and Claude, actually, we take the nine. We'd meet on 96th street and take it all the way up to 242nd. That's the van Cortlandt stop. And we'd get off and then there was a shuttle that would wait for us there and take us to Riverdale.

[Asante]

Wow.

[Francesca]

To the King.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Francesca]

Yeah, yeah. It was like up the hill. And you had to get that shuttle. If you missed the shuttle, you have to walk up the hill, get to class, all sweaty, horrible. But there was.

[Asante]

I seen that hill.

[Francesca]

You seen it. That is a track. But there were these young black girls that were also growing up. They called us the hill schools. And so it was Riverdale, Horace Mann and Fieldston. Those are the three hill schools that were like the top tier private schools in New York. And I remember the. You'd always see the groups of black kids that were on the train headed to these hill school schools. And we all knew where we were going because why else would we be getting off on 242nd from Harlem? And. And we became friends just. And you never saw them anywhere else but on this train commuting to the hill schools. And so you'd be talking, you'd. You'd almost like purposely catch each other at the same train, at the same time, because you knew that the train would be full. And it's just all these black kids just headed up to these schools and having this really unique experience of being these kids coming from projects and shit, having to commute on the train, whereas these white kids are being driven with their drivers, you know, hedge fund families and shit. And that was such a, like, that was also a developmental aspect of growing up. I just, I know Noah, Jade's daughter is now in the process of learning how to commute to school. And Jade is slowly walking her through that. And I remember that. I remember my mom having to be like, okay, I'm gonna take the train with you today. Tomorrow you're gonna take it by yourself. You know what I mean? And then. Cause it was an hour, like, imagine putting your 13 year old.

[Dustin Ross]

I'd have been on Pennsylvania.

[Francesca]

On the 9 train. Yeah, on the 9 train in New York City to commute for an hour from Manhattan to the Bronx, you know what I mean? Or Riverdale. Cause they separated themselves. They didn't want to be called the Bronx. So it was, you know, even that my mom being so nervous. And when I heard Jade say that, I was like, God, I remember that. I remember that moment of like the first day. You're like, holy shit, I'm on the train by myself. Because 13 is a baby.

[Dustin Ross]

Yes, it is. I would be on pins and needles and I definitely would have been, I would have, I would have followed you to school.

[Francesca]

I know, exactly.

[Dustin Ross]

And not let you know. You know what I'm saying? I'd have been riding that train. Like.

[Francesca]

Yeah, like that's, that's a big deal. Because you see how the New York trains are. A lot goes down.

[Dustin Ross]

Hell yeah.

[Francesca]

Yeah. People coming in, fighting, screaming, dancing, yelling, laughing, singing. I mean, you don't know what you're going to get. You don't know what you. Okay. You don't know what you're going to get. And so for a 13 year old to be thrown into that world, I feel for Jade because I know what she's feeling. I can imagine. I feel for Noah. I know it's scary, but exciting and you feel free, like your parents trust you and you really out here in the world now and it's crazy to think about because I feel like I'm proud of Noah too, you know, that she's showing the level of responsibility where Jade can even try, trust her with that. You know, that says a lot. And I'm proud of her for being at that phase because it is important for you to be able to do these things. These are stepping stones, you know, for your independence, your sense of self. And I'm sad that it seems like a lot of the kids in this generation don't have that, you know?

[Dustin Ross]

Me too.

[Asante]

Yeah. Honestly. So, Fran, you. You hit a great point. Community. I feel like community is really important. The rite of passage, of riding the train. Imagine, you know, most of people. Most of most people, they live in places where, you know, we get. We go on the school bus or we're used to, you know, someone's parents driving to school.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

So imagine if, you know, you grow up on the school bus or used to be in school buses, and then you move to a city and have kids and, you know, you learn the train on your own, but you're trying. You don't know even when to decide to let them go on the train on their own. Or, like, maybe, like, all right, you're 14, 15 or 16 or whatever. Like, all right, you can do this on your own. Like, like, but like, to do that, it's just like, how do you like for Jade to have you to talk to about that? You're like, girl, I grew up doing this, and, you know, she got any questions, she can call me. Or, like, absolutely, you know, like.

[Dustin Ross]

And to have me, like, no, it doesn't bust them in their face if they get too close to you.

[Asante]

So there's community, or there's plenty of community, because there's so many of y' all there. So if she does get lost, then she could just. Or if one of y' all bump into Noah, you're like, no. What you doing? Like, you know, so it's perfect. So community, that's very, very important. I think that we are the new black historians, if you will. You know, that's why I think it was great. Dustin, when you talked at the top of this, even your episode last week, your episode last week was so powerful. And I feel like, Fran, you do a great job on a regular basis of bringing us information and adding to the landscape. Whether you're having us reflect on what we've been doing or you're having conversations on what's going on and how we can push further, I think that we bring these conversations together very, very well. And again, earlier, I was saying I wanted to talk to the people that are everyday listeners that don't plan on doing a podcast or getting on TikTok or anything like that, just having conversations like these. We are the new black historians. You know, like, we're we're sharing our experiences because someone heard that experience on the train.

[Francesca]

Yeah, we are, buddy. I just want to say that I love that you're touching on the community aspect too.

[Asante]

You touched on it, friend.

[Francesca]

No. You know why it makes. Because this is another thing that I thought of. So When I was 13, I commuted on the train for the first time. But I actually started commuting at 10 years old to go to school by myself.

[Asante]

Yes. Give us your train background.

[Francesca]

Right. Because the train was 13, but I. But my middle school, I had to walk, walk to it. It was within walking distance. But imagine walking through your 10 year old. 10 is a baby. Yeah, but we, we kind of had no choice. Like my mom's work schedule, I just had. We had to make it work. And I have to say this, for all the shit that the living, the projects put me through, I can say when those dudes would see me coming out in the morning, they would be like, good morning. Make sure that I was like crossing the street. Okay. You know, they would like be watching. And I remember that because I would look back and in like a, you know, very. Yeah. And I always appreciated that. And even the only black boy in that private school that I went to, the. Who's still my friend to this day, shout out to you, maceo. He was like, you walk by yourself from your building. I remember that because he was like, what the fuck? That building. Scary. And I remember he actually got in so much trouble when his mom found out. He started meeting me at my building, leaving home extra early so he can meet me at my building. Imagine this is another 10 year old. Like, what's he gonna do? And he'd walk with me all the way to school.

[Dustin Ross]

That's beautiful.

[Francesca]

He felt that I shouldn't be by myself.

[Dustin Ross]

That's beautiful.

[Francesca]

And this is the only black boy in my whole class at private school.

[Asante]

That's amazing.

[Francesca]

Isn't that so beautiful? And he walked me every day for like years. And we just became super close. And we're like best friends after that. And I always appreciate that. My mom always used to be like, wow, for that little boy to come. His mom lost her shit when she found out you go to the project. But you know, that's what I mean about us and how we are with each other and, you know, even archiving that as a memory. Imagine these two little kids headed to the school, you know, and having to take care of each other at the. Think stories like that are important.

[Dustin Ross]

What a story, man. Turn that into a damn book.

[Francesca]

I know. It's like a little cartoon.

[Dustin Ross]

Turn that into a book, girl. People would buy your book.

[Asante]

Yes. Look, both. Both of y'. All. Y' all got some really good go like friend. Like, that's a beautiful, beautiful moment. And it's like, this is why I keep saying that we're the new black historians. Because when we picture historians, we think about professors, but it's just right here, most history. Most history is just ordinary people that refuse to forget. So it's like you refuse to forget about that great lesson, Dustin. You refuse to forget about those great moments. And, like, imagine. Because, Dustin, I'm gonna take you right back to this friend. I'm just thinking about you, like, sending that out into the world as a show or like a scene in something of those two little kids and people being like, what is go, like, what? And then other people. But then other people being like, man, I was on the train at 8, 7. Like, you know, just seeing those conversations.

[Francesca]

Happen in New York, I be seeing them little kids that look younger and younger. Sometimes I be looking like, what is your.

[Dustin Ross]

And then they look at you and go, what the are you looking at? You be like, look at you. I be happy to see that buck up at me.

[Asante]

Like he said, I know you.

[Dustin Ross]

You going to be all right. You know how to take care of yourself, right?

[Asante]

Look, they definitely going to be a right eye, I think about. And Dustin, I really wanted to touch back on because I just. That you were there. That parking lot scene alone, but you've done so much. Your montages of things. Like, if you just did, like, there's so much.

[Dustin Ross]

Let's not even start on Lenox Mall during that time on Saturday. That was the day. Saturday during the day you went. You got an outfit to go to the mall on Saturday.

[Francesca]

That was the thing to have that mall culture.

[Dustin Ross]

But y' all had it better, too, in our eyes. As a person who grew up in. In. Not in New York City through our lens, New Yorkers had it better. Y' all had access to standalone shops for the brands that we coveted, you know what I'm saying? That we could only get at a department store, you know what I'm saying? Or whatever. This is before online shopping, all of that. So, like, people would come to New York just for that. And I always thought, how cool must it be to, like, literally grow up in all of that shit that I'm. That I'm fascinated by when I read by magazine and when I watch certain things on television, certain shows. Yeah. You know, so I feel you don't cry for the mall Argentina, because it was not.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Francesca]

And we didn't have malls, but we had soho and the. We called it the ville. Growing up the village of your. You know, you'd be like, I would meet you, meet you down in the ville. And that was like our version of the mall, kind of. Because you would get cute and congregate and then you would just walk that whole 8th and Broadway, like all that. And you'd walk around and to Astor St. Mark in that circle, you do. And I was like a scene. I mean, that's a lot of how, like all these streetwear brands, A lot of the. The heads of the streetwear brands were kids that were walking, showing off outfits. Created community, created fashion clicks, even asap. Like all of them. That's that. That's where that came from. Like the fashion kids that will walk and congregate, take pictures. Obviously that turned into the blogging era where people would post the pictures and then you turn into a brand, and then before you know it, you had. And then that turned into campaigns and some people went into music.

[Dustin Ross]

Sounds good to me.

[Francesca]

Fashion, yeah, like, culture was really grown in those streets in New York.

[Dustin Ross]

You gotta respect that, man. You have to respect that shit. And people need to understand that. They. You might have been the first with whatever you were the first with, but pay respect, you know what I'm saying? And understand the history behind all of that shit. Especially when we talk about fashion and style and trends and shit. You really got to respect the game when it comes to that. I just wanted to say that.

[Asante]

Yeah, no, I think that these are all beautiful, beautiful moments and points I just want to add in. You know, you say they all.

[Dustin Ross]

It was all right, you know what I'm saying?

[Asante]

Give yourself. Give yourself more credit. I mean, listen, when we think about, like, you know, teachers and librarians, they're. They're the protectors. Like, you know, we started this off talking about the person that sent us in the. The book person. Sorry, I don't remember their name, but talking about how we had the conversation last week about Libby. You know, Buenos dias. Buenos dias. So, yeah, I think that that was a great moment because we're. We're. We have a reading club. You know, we're reading books. Some. They're not, you know, all history related, but we've gotten some great history out of this.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, we read Matriarch. You read.

[Asante]

No, that's what I'm saying. We've gotten some Great history. Out of the random books that we've chosen, like, Matriarch was a great example. Mariah Carey's book has some great, like, music history. Like, there's so many. Even Eric Jerome Dickey. It's just a piece of history because it speaks to a time of, you know, black people and their reading journey.

[Francesca]

Absolutely.

[Dustin Ross]

Rest in Peace, one of my favorite authors of all time. Rest in Peace, Eric Jerome Dickey.

[Asante]

Eric Jerome Dickey put a lot out in the landscape. A lot. I remember. I remember, like, that style of COVID and just seeing it, like, come out and be like, all right, Eric Jerome McKee got a new one, huh? But some of the reasons that we can't find certain books today is because someone refused to let them be hidden. And I think that that's funny, like, when you put certain things like that in perspective. So that's why when certain stories are told and retold, like, they have to be retold. Like, when we think about the conversations that black people, black families have with their kids about the police, you know, like. Right unfortunate.

[Dustin Ross]

But Damon. Yo. Yeah, Damon was laughing at me the other day because my mama. I bought a book that my mama always had on her bookshelf, and I just wanted to have it. You know how you. Certain things your mama had, whatever you just want to have, it was. It was. It was Patti LaBelle's book called Don't Block the Blessing Things. And so I was on the phone with Damon. I'm like, you ain't gonna believe what I got.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dustin Ross]

He was like, what? I'm like, and I only got it because Mama had one. When I got it in the screen, he busted out laughing, man. He was like, I remember the front of that book. So, yeah, nostalgia history, you know what I'm saying?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

No, that's important. That's important. Yeah. There's.

[Asante]

Even. Even you Bring up Patti LaBelle. Sorry, go ahead.

[Francesca]

No, I mean, yeah, that's history right there. But I was gonna say there's a place here that I keep driving past, and it's called the Grotto. And I was like, what is this place? Because it looks like a cave. But I see, like, a lot of people going into it, mainly, like, older people. And I finally looked it up, and I realized it's, like, a place where people congregate to pray. And it's like. But it looks like a cave, and it has, like, these beautiful gardens. I'm like, whoa, what a beautiful, beautiful piece of land. And I keep passing it and somehow it even started aggregating on my tick tock. And then, you know, I randomly saw a sign for it when, like, it's just heavy on me. I thinking about my grand. I mean, I started thinking about my grandmother because I keep seeing the older women with their rosaries. And I didn't grow up Catholic, but my grandmother was very much that older woman with her rosary, you know, that was like going to light the candles at the cathedral downtown. You know, the little red votives, like, that was her thing. And so even culturally in that way, too, just like the rituals that we saw our elders partake in, even something as having a book, that same book on the nightstand, or even the perfumes that they would have on that dresser that had so much stuff on this. Yeah, the ritual, you know, like, I have my grandmother's brush, her hair brush. I have it on my dresser with all my perfumes. I don't know why, when she passed, I was like, I want her brush, like her hairbrush, you know, and so those things, like, I think when we think of archiving, sometimes we. We zoom out to the bigger concepts of, like, culture and race and, you know, all these things. But even familial, like, the small little details. I even have my grandmother's sleeping gowns. Like, my cousins were so confused with the things that I wanted to keep because they were looking at, you know, bigger things. And I was like, I want her hairbrush, I want her sleeping gowns. Like, just the things that I know were, like, cozy and kept her safe. Yeah. To me, like, I just remember that was such a part of her morning ritual, her night ritual. And I think it's beautiful to even have those conversations and honor them. You know, that type of veneration is just really cool. And that's why I keep thinking, I keep passing that grotto. And I told my partner, like, I bet maybe she's asking me to go in there, you know, and especially with the way the world is feeling, that could be her way of tapping in, like, go, go throw some prayers up.

[Dustin Ross]

You think I wouldn't go to the grotto with you and close my eyes and mumble. Okay, definitely go to the grotto.

[Francesca]

Okay. That sounds like I'm not even Catholic, but I feel like I need to go throw one up for real, you know?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

For all of us.

[Dustin Ross]

Listen, who knows? The way is the way, you know what I'm saying? So just, you know, you got to get there.

[Asante]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, that's beautiful. Like, you guys are bringing up some really, really great moments. And I think that it's cool because podcasts are archives. Like, you know, absolutely.

[Francesca]

10 years.

[Asante]

You have such a vast catalog. What? We have such a vast catalog of great things that we've brought individually, collectively. Like, I think that it's great that we continue to do this show every episode of Black Business. You know, like, there's so much intention in what we do, and we are black history. Okay. You know, we already talked about how loss happens. And history sometimes can be lost, you know, or lost. That's why I thought it was dope from the original Tiktoker that she was bringing these recipes back. You know, that's why I think that it's super dope that we're sharing these stories of these old buildings that don't exist anymore from those clubs or even your first time experiences. I think that those are things that they get lost in the conversation. Imagine if Jay didn't have no experience with the train. She was just bougie and always driving her car or riding around. And now she has to put her daughter on the train and she's looking like, I don't know what I am going to do walking around lost. But she knows and she gets to pass that on. And I think that's super dope. But sometimes it's not intentional when we experience these losses of, you know, recipes or things. Sometimes it is speed or technology, but sometimes it's grief, you know, like, it can be things happening at a very fast rate. Like even me saying this podcast is history. You know, last week, Dustin, he talked about something deep in some history, but I'm already talking about it this week like it's the new history already. Already, you know, so I just wanted to have this episode where we talked about all these things and we kind of had a moment to revisit some markers that made us and we get to share them with the world because we spent so much time, I think, trying to figure out how we can contribute. But I feel like if someone on the outside looking in just, they were just took the time out to share their own perspective or story with people, I think people would be. And they'd want to listen. You know, I don't feel like we all need to wait until people are old and grandparents don't want to ask for things. Well, it depends on sharing. Oh, well, I'm not saying talk to everybody. Okay, look, because again, it's only Black History Month and then all some of.

[Dustin Ross]

Y' all motherfuckers can go to hell. I don't give a damn what you've been through, what you're going through, I don't give a. But others I do. So yes, you're right.

[Asante]

I mean, you know, some things change and we have to get used to certain changes, but. Well, yes, but like, you know, streets getting renamed and landmarks disappearing, which I don't want to keep beating a dead horse, but that Ted Turner is going to keep fucking with me. I think about digital loss. We talk about, you know, archiving these things, but how do we keep these things safe? That's a whole nother conversation. But I also just got into the idea because when I was thinking about like the loss of history when I was younger, I think I told the story about some of my old family albums. Like I, we had these, I remember being young and always randomly going through these old family albums. Like there used to be this big trunk and it had like six or seven like really, really like big ass things of family photos and it had like all of my family in them and like these really cool pictures. Well, lost them in a fire.

[Francesca]

Oh damn, there was a fire that.

[Asante]

Happened at one of the, one of the places where we lived and all that stuff gone. So it's just like the destruction of that. But digital loss can happen too. When I think about us archiving on the Internet, you know, the Internet, it's not forever we think that it is. But their platinum platforms, sometimes they shut down and disappear and servers crash and sometimes things just change. One of the things, things on a very light note but still, still super heavy to me in my heart when Apple, when they did that with the music libraries and up like you don't.

[Francesca]

Own like oh the right you at.

[Asante]

One point you owned those like you had like, like the licensing earlier that Buenos Diaz was talking about. It's because there's like a certain, you know, allotment of that type of file. But you used to own those files because when you download those files like you do remove those files like once you give them back. So you don't even keep that. But you used to own that like that digital space. And now that everything is streaming, you stream everything or you put things in the cloud, sometimes you're not even keeping hold of those digital things. Like and I keep want to say physical, that's what I'm struggling. But it's not physical, it's all digital. And so that's why it became like a mind fuck of what do you do when it's time to merge your music library? And you were just Everyone was just like, well, it. This is going to save me space. This is what I'll do. Do. But then for it to be like, all right, some of these files aren't compatible. And you're just like, all right, well, I want to stay on itunes, so I'm going to delete certain things.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Or I want to every. Like it just as much as it changed the game and made things amazing. It also. And this is a piece of history, too, because I'm sure there are people listening. They're like, what is he even talking about? Y' all die. MP3. Sorry. I don't know if you looked up like that, because I yelled, but MP3, like, yeah, but we used to keep.

[Dustin Ross]

My eye on the camera because y' all are down here and the camera is up here.

[Asante]

Okay, all right. I won't make note of it again. My bad. Thank you. You're very professional. You're hitting them on all cylinders today. What I think about the dot MP3 and just having to worry about file extensions. People don't worry about those as much. They just know that they're the basic ones. So people don't know how to convert files. Like, there are things that get lost. And this isn't even just about black people, but black people. I feel like we do need to be more Techaverse. So, you know, come on into the room. There used to just be a time where we had our files and we kept them. We didn't have a cloud. We had to figure out, like, you know, how we were going to keep our. Before computers, CD ROMs and stuff. Before computers, that's inaccurate. But the CD ROMs, music. We used to have albums, CDs, records. And that was the only way we were playing music. We didn't. We weren't able to stream it from our laptop to our phone. We didn't even have phones to do that on at the time. We were literally just putting the CDs and CD players and playing them in our home stereos. And, you know, we had the little booklets with the. The book. The booklets of booklets and CDs.

[Francesca]

I still have mine.

[Dustin Ross]

I don't know where mine are.

[Asante]

How, friend.

[Francesca]

It's at my mom's house, and it has my entire CD collection.

[Dustin Ross]

I would love to have access to mine. I used to take the liner notes out and put them in the front, like the.

[Francesca]

That's exactly how it is. And the CD in the back. Yeah, Yep, yep. That's exactly. And mine was fat. It was like the big Fat one. So good. Yeah, y. So good.

[Asante]

You. You might rarely run into one of these if you see a DJ that still carries one around.

[Francesca]

Right, right.

[Asante]

Doubt that that happens.

[Dustin Ross]

Music sound better.

[Asante]

Okay. I think that we also have to talk about. Because I talked about streets and I talked about, you know, the digital loss of it all, but there's also emotional loss. You know, sometimes when elders leave us. You know, I was talking about grandparents, and we asked them about the stories. And I'm saying sometimes you don't want to wait till someone's gone to ask them about stories. But if we wait till people are gone and then we don't have those stories anymore because they're literally. They literally are gone. So that's why you need to take the time now to appreciate people when they're here. Okay. So if someone's talking to you, listen. But that's just the. I feel like black history is because people have to really connect. And I feel like our black culture, we connected through food and recipes and fashion, and we've done so much. And we have to remember that we have to share these things, we have to celebrate these things, and we have to be about these things. And I keep beating this dead horse about it last week, but Dustin, when you talked about that neighborhood and the fact that so many people commented this week about it happening in their own backyards, and we note that there's history there, there. That person that. The comment I shared saying that there was just a little plaque left from everything that was done, that's not okay, you know, but it's also amazing that they shared that with us. So now they've become part of the history of repeating that history. Okay. We didn't have to go to the library to share that, but we should go to the library to get more information on it. Okay. Just like with anything when you, you know, get information, you should always receive more information before spreading it. And I think that we shared a lot of information today, whether it was about our personal lives, you know, but I feel like those are all great markers to things that we go through individually and how we're all made. Because even me and Dustin having that moment about the club and then Fran, that just thinking about you were already, like, on it with the train, but thinking about you as a 10 year old getting on the train, it's just like, what?

[Francesca]

But it had to be. I was 10 on the train. I was 10 walking to school, right?

[Asante]

Oh, you were 10. Oh, okay, great.

[Francesca]

Not 10 on the train. I don't think my mom would let happen that. That happen.

[Asante]

Well, here's my call to action for the listeners. Your challenge.

[Dustin Ross]

We love you.

[Francesca]

Hi, Mama.

[Asante]

You know what?

[Francesca]

Happy birthday to my mom. It was just her happy birthday, my Aquarius kooky cream.

[Dustin Ross]

Happy birthday.

[Francesca]

We love you, mom. It's her big one, too. She won't let me say the age, so I won't say it. But it's a big one, let's say.

[Dustin Ross]

That's right.

[Asante]

We celebrate your mother. This episode goes out to her. Okay. Hope I didn't curse too much or say anything inappropriate.

[Francesca]

Oh, she loves.

[Asante]

I feel like she's. She's the. Like, you know, people like. People like her are the reason that we have people like you, and we can come together and do things like this. So.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Asante]

Like shout out to your mother, happy birthday to your mother. She's a beautiful woman. And send me the thing. Friend, if I send you $50, can you make sure you buy your mama some crab legs for us?

[Francesca]

I told her. I was like, mom sending you a crab boy? She was like, I'm not eating like that no more. I was like, oh, excuse me. She's out here fit and trim. Okay, then.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, we getting green juice. We getting something. That's what's up.

[Asante]

Well, here's my call to action for all of you out there listening. I want you to go out and talk to somebody. You know, I want to say an elder, but, you know, really, because some. Some people don't have access, you know, some of us have lost access, you know, through whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever means. Okay, I don't want to be in anybody's business, but, you know, if there's an elder that you trust and you want to talk to, you know, have them tell you a story, something that you're interested in hearing from their history. If you are good in the kitchen, like, oh, girl. Waking confections. Write down a recipe or try to recreate some recipes. And you don't have to. You don't have to recreate the old recipe. If you want to do something different, it's you eating it so you don't have to do it for the talk or anything like that. On Super Bowl Sunday, I was talking to someone and they were saying how we were talking about rotel diploma, and then we got on the conversation about if you made like a. Like, not a heavy dip, but if you made a dip that was good enough to go on some meat to put over some rice. And I was like, that sounds good. They were like, this don't sound like, it's doing too much. And I was like, it's your kitchen. You're the one that gets to eat it. So do your thing. If you feel like some rotel over rice is amazing. And bomb. Do your thing. But, you know, I know you kind of like.

[Dustin Ross]

But I'm just thinking about it. Maybe they could do like a casserole, you know what I'm saying, of some sort. I don't know. I'm just trying to think.

[Asante]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dustin Ross]

But I don't know.

[Asante]

That's what I'm saying. There are things to like. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's why I said I don't know how you would tweak the recipe to make it, per se. But, like, it. Like, it sounded like it could be something because I do like road tail dip and I do like rice. Do I want to put some. Put them together? Not really, but they could work together in like a rotel bowl or something. I don't know. Like, if someone's out there listening, they make one of these.

[Francesca]

I was gonna say it's somebody making it.

[Asante]

Trust and believe somebody's making it. But for those of you out there, write you down a recipe, share a recipe, scan old photos and, you know, don't put them in the cloud or. I didn't mean to be dark with some of the things that I was sharing, but I also want to be kind of realistic as some of the conversations that we've been having about some of these things. But this is a small one. But this is something that I didn't really touch on. Save a voicemail.

[Francesca]

Oh, that's so big. There's some voicemails of people I still listen to, and it makes me, like, so, like, oh, God, I hate that people don't leave voicemails anymore. So that's not really a thing for, like, new people. But I do have voicemails that I go back to people that are no longer in my life. And it's definitely valuable. Feels nice.

[Asante]

Well, that's. Yeah, well, that's a great. That's a great point, friend. Leave a voicemail.

[Francesca]

Leave some voicemails. You know what? That'll be the title of this episode. Leave a voicemail.

[Asante]

Okay, look, become the new black history as we are and leave a voicemail. Okay.

[Francesca]

Yeah, that's it for this week's hot show. We have voice notes. So people do send each other voice notes.

[Asante]

Oh, yeah, people do send the voice notes.

[Francesca]

Yeah, you can save some of those. I Did want to add this before you moved on? They have journals that have prompts that you can give to your elders or your parents or just people that you want to document something. I actually bought one for my mom and it's beautiful because it's. My mom is not going to sit there and talk to me about half the shit, but she does like to write. Yeah, I know. She was a teacher for 25 years and I got her this journal that just asked her a ton of questions about her childhood, about her growing up, about what she was like in school. Just, it's like a ton of prompts. And she really enjoyed it. I think she felt like, oh, you want to know all these things? But it also gave her something for her mind which, you know, as people are aging, it's good to keep them writing and thinking and sharp and, and engaged, you know, and stimulated mentally. And it's a project because it's a big book. It's going to take her a while to really fill it up. But I'm also thankful because it's not only is it something for her to do, it's a way for us to connect. But I'm going to have that, you know, with her hand written, you know, her handwriting that she took the time out from her mouth to the book book, answering all kinds of questions about her life. And I think that that's really nice. I mean, you could create one really with your own questions. But that's another way to consider archiving your family history.

[Asante]

Absolutely. That's an amazing idea. So for those of you out there listening, remember, history isn't only what we read, it's what we remember. Repeat and record. And preservation doesn't require a degree, just intention. Okay.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Asante]

So this week, back something up because one day somebody's gonna wish you did. That's it.

[Francesca]

Nice. Thank you. This is amazing conversation. Now let's jump into this week's segments. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is that all in one spot? That makes building a website actually feel easy. Whether you're just getting started or you're enhancing your thriving business, it's got everything, everything in one place. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. You can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. And you can streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Fundraise directly on your website and even grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools you can connect with your community and inspire more people to support your cause. We've always mentioned how much we love Squarespace. The interface is user friendly and as intimidating as as it sounds. Trying to create a website from scratch. Somehow Squarespace makes you feel and know that you can actually get it done. So go to squarespace.com friendzone for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, use code FRIENDZONE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com FRIENDZONE for a free trial and code FRIENDZONE to save ten percent off off your first purchase of a Website or a domain.

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Francesca]

This week in wellness this week we are joined by Jess of Diabetes Digital. FKA Food Heaven Made it easy. Clap it up for our sister. So excited to be here. Absolutely. And shout out to Wendy too. So I wanted to bring you on because you know, influencers, content creators have a lot of impact on markets, marketing, retail. We all seen it with the natural hair girls, right? It went from a couple of products on the natural hair aisle to now, yes, new brands coming out every day and now we don't even know who to go with because there's so much to choose from. I feel like the makeup girls, the beauty girls really made Sephora. I mean a Hot spot. Like, you know, people pulling out Sephora credit cards. I mean, we really just have had impact on all on the world in many ways. So now I feel like the era that we're in is the fitness influencer has the spotlight right now. Everyone has their workout splits. Everyone has their cute honor active workouts, which I. I love their workout clothes. And most importantly, when you go shopping for groceries, everything says 10, you know, 10 more grams of protein. You go to buy your pasta, protein, cereal. Protein. Yeah, protein, popcorn, protein, ice cream. And there's a lot of conversation when you look up or you're watching fitness content about the importance of more protein in your diet. It helps with fat loss, right? It helps with fat loss and also building muscle recomposition. Right. Of the body. For those who are unaware, body recomposition is like the big conversation online right now. It's a way to change up the makeup of your body so you have less fat and more muscle. And a big way to do that is by upping your protein intake. And there's a lot of conversation on what that looks like. You got to do 1 gram of protein per body weight. Then some people are like, no, you got to do 0.7. And then there's some people saying it's actually 2 grams of protein. And then when I look up, right, When I look up journals and medical journals and studies, they're like, there's such things as too much protein. But no one is having that part of the conversation, right?

[Dustin Ross]

Where they at, right?

[Francesca]

It's like, you know, you can start messing with your kidneys, right? If you have too much protein, it can put a strain on your kidneys. You can develop kidney stones. Hello. I'm. I'm a victim of that. You can become dehydrated. I mean, there's so many things that I think we're not discussing on the. On that end of protein and fitness and. And this wellness journey that a lot of people are on right now. So I thought we have to have a licensed registered dietitian to come on the show and tell us, is there such thing as too much protein? And how do we handle this protein craze that has taken over all of our grocery shopping?

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Well, I'm so glad you guys have me on, because this is a topic that is very exciting for me to talk about, because on the one hand, it's great. Like, so many people are more invested in their health and people are wanting to be more fit and more knowledgeable about things. So that's exciting. On the other, Hand, it is out of control. I think we need to find that happy medium and we'll talk about exactly what that is. But yes, it is possible to eat too much of anything. It's possible to eat too much protein. It's possible to eat too much much broccoli, even. And what I think is the biggest challenge with, or the biggest consequence of eating too much protein is that you're crowding out other nutrients. That's the biggest problem is because if you're aiming to eat 1 gram of protein per body weight, and especially somebody who is in a larger body, that's a lot of protein.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Like, that can easily be 200 grams of protein a day, which is a very significant amount. 200, 250. Like, that's a lot. And so what happens when you're eating that much protein is what are you not eating? So you're not eating fiber. Typically. Typically, fiber is the first thing to fall by the wayside. And so you're trading off like this, the protein on the plate and these macros for fiber, which is actually going to help with your gut health diversification and has a lot of great evidence to support that. It's just good for your health overall. So that is my biggest issue with the protein craze. Also, it's expensive. How many of us are seeing all these products? And listen, I love a protein product here and there. I have some of my favorites. However, there are so many that I feel like they're not great quality. It's just highly processed food.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

And it's like, there's nothing against processed food, but I think that there's like, protein has this health halo where people will demonize one type of processed food, but then not realize that the all the protein that they're eating is also processed and has all these, you know, potentially different additives and things like that. So I think it can become really expensive. And then your diet, especially people who are leaning a lot on the powders and the potions and the popcorns, like, we are kind of crowding out, again, opportunities for other nutrients that are equally, if not more, important.

[Dustin Ross]

Right, right.

[Francesca]

And I think that's one discussion that's also missing from the conversation. It's like, if you're taking in this much protein, how much fiber are you also taking in so that your body can digest?

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, you got to go to the bathroom, don't have your fiber. You can't even go to the bathroom. You're gonna be cool.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So that's not a good place to Be.

[Francesca]

And y' all see that in the. In the gym bathroom, you can smell the problems. There's nothing more traumatizing than a gym bathroom and an airport bathroom.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

And I can. You can see the lack of balanced meals.

[Dustin Ross]

You can also see the look on my face when I encounter those smells, because I have trouble hiding my countenance. So that's why we need to know this, Jess.

[Francesca]

Yes.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Okay, so I want to share the recommendation for what I think people should be aiming for, and I want to also explain why I feel like there's a lot of confusion. So the rda, have you guys heard of that before? The Recommended Daily Allowance?

[Francesca]

Yes.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Okay, so the RDA for protein is low. It's 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. So people are like, why kilogram? I don't know why. They do it in kilograms. And it is a little confusing. So you have to take your weight and divide it by 2.2 and then multiply it by 0.8. That's the RDA. Now, the problem with the RDA is that this is really the minimum, not necessarily a target. This is the minimum to prevent deficiency. So I think a lot of people are seeing that there's more research coming out, and it's like, okay, well, I'm not going by that. So then I'm gonna, like, go to the extreme. And then you have these social media target, right? With all, like, everyone in. Their mom is now, like, an expert on nutrition. I'm like every blogger, influencer, like, herbalist, and I'm just like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is getting a little out of control, guys. And so you have the social media targets that really overshoot for most people. And then what happens in me as a dietitian when I see these clients is they're at the point where they're like, force feeding themselves protein, and it's just not a good quality of life. And it feels like food then becomes a chore and it's not necessary at all. So what is a reasonable amount of protein somebody should aim for? Because I know that's what people probably are here to know. And so a good amount that most experts tend to recommend, especially dietitians, like most of us do agree the RDA is a little bit low. And so it's about 1.2 to 1.6 grams of protein per kilogram. That's a good, reasonable ground for many adults. So what exactly does that mean? Because, again, the kilograms is confusing. So if we were to do that.

[Dustin Ross]

In pounds, so you divide your body weight by 2.2. Right. And then multiply that by 0.08. You said. Right.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

By 1.2 to 1.6.

[Dustin Ross]

Was the other. The correct one was a little low.

[Francesca]

Yeah, that was like the baseline. Yeah.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So let's just stick with that.

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

You can, guys.

[Asante]

Got it. You're good.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So I don't have to break it down. Just divide your weight by 2.2. That's the easiest thing. Okay, so what does that look like? So if somebody is, let's say, 150 pounds, then they would aim for about 82 grams to 109 grams of protein per day.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Okay. You know, so it's a little bit.

[Francesca]

More reasonable because if you're eating like 30 grams.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Per meal. 2530. You. You'll be in the window.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

You'll be in the window. And so that's what I recommend. Exactly. Friend. About 30 grams of protein per meal for most people is like a great place to start to be. And these ranges are. If somebody is more sedentary and they're not working out, they're not active, it would be more on the low end. But if you are trying to build muscle or you're trying to build muscle, or let's say you are an older adult, because older adults, adults need more protein, then you're going to be at that higher end. And so it's. I like having a range because you can kind of get in where you fit in and where you feel comfortable. And you can also just pay attention to how your body feels with different amounts of protein and how easy it is to be able to get all the macronutrients you need at a meal. Because we don't just need protein. And that's what I see a lot on everywhere. Like on TikTok, on Instagram, it's like, even people, they're on the GLP1s and we had that conversation before. And so I see that they're eating just like chicken and pickles for their meals every day. And, like, that's not something I would recommend because, again, you're not getting the fiber. You're probably going to be constipated. You're not. We need carbs. You're not going to eat carbs.

[Francesca]

That sounds so nasty, too. The carbs give you. The carbs is like the gasoline. Right. Like, that's what gives you the energy to push throughout the day. So I never understood the low carb craze. I can understand cycling your carbs depending on, like, your level of activity. Right. Like Sometimes I'll do a higher carb day if I have my leg day, you know, like everyone knows, like day. You need that as much energy and push. And then if it's an off day, I might not eat as many. But I don't understand the, like removing them completely. Yeah, I don't.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Exactly. And it's. Yeah, you. You hit the nail on the head. So it's like going based on having you feel and also the work you're asking your body to do that day. That's how I like to think about it. It's like, what am I asking my body to do? Deadlifts, squats. We're going to need fuel not only.

[Francesca]

Before but also after.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Because you have to replete the glycogen stores, which is the stored carbs, so that your body just feels good after and doesn't. You don't. You don't wake up in the middle of the night hungry because you underate for carbs.

[Francesca]

Carbs.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So I think that it's all about trying to get at least three different food groups per meal. I like to recommend to people. So try to get a carb, try to get a fat, try to get a protein within the carb. Try to have a variety because they're starchy carbs, but there's also non starchy carbs. So those are gonna be things like your vegetables that have more fiber. And so having that balance is really going to make you feel good and be optimal for your health.

[Francesca]

Health, yeah. And you actually suggested. Hold on, I wrote it down. There was a fiber brand. Do you remember that? It was sun.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Oh, yes.

[Francesca]

Hold on. Because I actually use it. Sun fiber. Do you use it? The prebiotic fiber and probiotic blend. I've been using it since you guys suggested it.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Oh my God.

[Francesca]

And to me it's amazing because if you are. I don't like. I eat fruit, you know, and I eat my veggies, but sometimes I'm like, I don't know if it's enough, you know, and like having this sort of as like a default setting where it's like, at least I know I took my proper serving. And I have still taken. Yeah, I just had it. I have it every.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

I've had it every day for like a decade. It's amazing. It is like one of the most studied fibers. Active ingredient is called partially hydrolyzed guar gum. But it's sun fiber is a version of it. Benefit fiber has a version of it. And it has been so well studied for regularity. Also, people who have IBS or, you know, just more that irritable bowel syndrome. It's a type of fiber they can tolerate because oftentimes people with IBS don't tolerate fibers well. So it's one of those ones where. Yeah, like, I have my whole family on it.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

No, it was such a good. I recommend suggestion. Absolutely. And for those who are interested, I'll obviously link it in the description box. Like I said, they mentioned in all of the last episode, but we have a lot of new listeners that may not have caught that. So I guess the bottom line is you should be adjusting your protein based on your lifestyle. Right. Because there are some people that are just trying to hit the minimum to keep their body functioning. Then there's certain people that are in the tier of I just want to eat better and, you know, and be more well rounded. And then there's the fitness people that are like, I need to build muscle. I'm trying to recombinate. And I think based on which tier you fall into, there should be. There should be adjustments, but there's still a cap on what is unhealthy for everyone. And I think that that's where I wanted to lean into that part, because, like you said, there's a lot of people giving a lot of information. And you can tell when the fitness people kind of regurgitate each other's points based on them watching, like, Huberman Lab or, you know, the big wellness and fitness guys on YouTube and stuff. So, Peter, I was like, let me see. Right, right. So thank you. Is there anything else that you think we're missing in this conversation that I just want to make sure people feel like when they're on their journey, whatever that looks like, they just know exactly which formula to tap into for how much protein they should be taking.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So one other caveat, and this is why I like to recommend working with a dietitian. It's always helpful, is if you are in a larger body, it can be hard to meet these needs. And this is. We just had this with our team meeting yesterday. We're talking about protein needs, like our dietitian team meeting. And we were talking about this because if someone's in a larger body, like I said before, and you're like watching these fitness people tell you to eat one gram per gram of body weight, that or per pound of body weight, that's like a lot of protein and same thing even with these formulas. So. So I will often recommend that a patient does something called adjusted body weight. And you Can Google this and look up what your adjusted body weight is. If you are trying to, if you, let's say you are in the, and I hate the terms because they're very stigmatizing, but just like obese category or your BMI is over 30, that's when we might use an adjusted body weight so that you don't have such a insane goal of protein in a day. So it brings it down a little bit more because we're really trying to cover the amount of protein needed for your lean mass more than anything like your muscle mass. That's why for some people, like especially my folks who might be going through like a perimenopause or menopause or let's say they are, you know, have insulin resistance and they want to gain muscle or they have diabetes, if it's not going to be triggering for you, which for many people it will and I would not recommend it. But for some people it is helpful information, like doing the DEXA scan where you will get your muscle mass. And I tell people we're just looking at the muscle and we are going to use that as information to see how much protein do we actually need, right? Like to build muscle or maintain muscle. And that can be really helpful for people like what's excessive. Also it's, it's not just the protein. It's as we know, it's the strength training too if your goal is to maintain or build muscle, which is really great for, for insulin resistance and especially those of us like midlife going through the perimenopause of it.

[Dustin Ross]

All right.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So there is, I, I do like things being very like person focus, like personalized. And so that is a way to be like, okay, this is like where I'm at and I can build from there.

[Francesca]

And I like that you mentioned the DEXA scan and even, you know, getting tools to measure it because I know a lot of us rely on our smart scales which supposedly tell us this is how much you know body fat. This is your bmi, this is this. And while it's, it feels helpful to have a quote unquote range, but it's so off. Like once I got something measured properly, I was like, oh my God, thank God that I wasn't relying on that information. You know, it's helpful in the sense that it's a nudge, right? It's a mental nudge. Like it gives you a number and then you watch it decrease. So at least it's like a starting place, but it's still far off from what the number actually is of your body fat versus lean mass, you know, and it's. I think it's helpful to go somewhere and get tested.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Yeah, some people. Yeah. Or some of the scales are more accurate than others for sure. I think it was wire cutter. They, they always, they're part of the New York Times. They always do like these and investigations I guess on like different products and stuff. And so I think they did one where they looked at ones that were a little more accurate and compared it to the DEXA scans.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So there are. I'm not the biggest fan of. Yeah, you guys have had me on before, you know, like, I'm not the biggest fan of like the scale and all these things as a weight inclusive dietitian. So again, if it's something where it's going to be triggering for you or it's going to make you feel bad about yourself, like who cares about the scale? Don't worry about weighing yourself consistently. However, if you just want that information maybe one time and then maybe six months later from the DEXA scan for your muscle mass only because that's really what's, you know, most important, I would say especially for like, right. Insulin resistance, all those things then, you know, go that route. But work with a dietitian because also too, I will say that when you do the DEXA scan, the information they give you, like when I have patients, I, I'm like, please just ignore anything they tell you and bring it directly to me because they'll have. And you think that you have to lose all this weight and do these crazy things and. Yeah. So you have to kind of go with someone who can interpret the data without you spiraling out of control. So I will use that caveat.

[Francesca]

Right? And we have to remember BMI and we've talked about this all of even, you know, even body fat. Which is funny to me, right? Because I was having this conversation with this bodybuilder that I've been kind of like talking, you know, about all these things. Protein and recomp. And he's massive. I mean this man looks like a truck, like one of the biggest people I've ever seen in real life. And he was even telling me that he does not do the whole 1 gram protein per pound. Mind you. This is a man on gear. He's like on steroids and all the other shit. But he's like, no, I won't do that much protein. You know. So it's funny that even with him, he's just was like, that's just not what it is. It's not needed. You're going to build muscle. It's unhealthy. That's how we got into the conversation about the impact that it'll have on your organs and your body, how you have to really be mindful of how much you actually need. But even with him seeing his body composition, I was like, damn, there's. We really are getting some crazy information. And then with the marketing being pushed and not only, you know, everything having added protein, but I've even. I forget the name of the documentary. I feel like it was on Netflix. It was maybe about Barolo or whatever that pasta brand is.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Oh, Barilla.

[Francesca]

Yeah, I believe it was them. Don't mark my word, don't quote me, but they were talking about how their sales, once they added protein and put it in the box, it like, 300% increases something crazy. And the taste is worse. But people are so focused on the fact that they're getting this protein for their fitness goals that they don't even care. And how many companies are willing to reformulate Lower quality, worst taste, but it's higher protein and it's working. People are paying for it. Their sales are through the roof. And it was so many companies that were showing, like, yeah, we triple doubled three, you know, 300. It's just crazy to me.

[Dustin Ross]

That ain't gonna hook me as a customer. The food is nasty, but it's got protein. That's not gonna work for me.

[Francesca]

But for some people, that's how they eat, right? They. They're more utilitarian. They're like, I need to hit, you know, 130 grams today. I don't care what it tastes like. I just need to get it in my body and feed this muscle after this workout, you know?

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

So, no, it's. It's. It's unfortunate, I think. And yeah, the thing is, it's not even that much more protein in these pastas. Like, just a regular pasta. It usually has about 7 grams of protein per serving. And from what I see, the protein pastas have nine often. So it's not even that much more. And that's where it's like, are we wasting our money? And the other thing is, we have to think about what we can do for the rest of our life.

[Francesca]

Lives. Right.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Because that's what this really is. That's what health is about. It's not just like, for this six months, I'm going to go hard on the protein. It's like, no. All the behaviors that people should adopt should be things that they can do forever comfortably feel good about and make them feel good. And I feel like with this protein craze, it's, it's out of control. And I'm so glad that you guys, you have such a big platform and you are trying to bring light to this conversation.

[Francesca]

Absolutely. And then you know what, like you said, this is a wonderful thing that this is what we're discussing as, as online. Like, I love that fitness has taken over in terms of people now being more mindful of their plates, which we've had an episode with Food Heaven Made Easy.

[Asante]

Complete your plate.

[Francesca]

Yeah, definitely look that up, you know, and it's, it's great conversation. But I think, I think I saw an article where was it China, where now influencers are not allowed to discuss certain topics unless they have a degree in that field. And I'm not mad at that. Right. And it's. And it's like certain fields, like I would guess nutrition and things where people's intake could be affected. You know, like, that is to me, it's true. It's. It's information that I think can cross the line. It's different if you're sharing what you're eating. You're like, this is something I did. But it's very different when you're speaking matter of factly.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Exactly.

[Francesca]

And information like this, where it's like, are you even eating 2 grams of protein per pound? You know, like, or you just regurgitating. So thank you, Jess. We so appreciative of your expertise and, and the fact that we can always lean on you to come on the show and kind of help us tweak whatever misinformation or disinformation might be floating around as people are navigating their wellness journeys. So let everyone know where they can find you in case they need any more information or would like to do some one on ones with diabetes Digital.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Yes. Well, first of all, we've gotten a lot of patients from Friendzone.

[Francesca]

We love all our Friendzone patients. I work.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Worked with one actually. Did she come from. I don't know if she came from friend zone, but she definitely friend. Like you had recommended protein powder or something.

[Francesca]

She's my friend. Yeah.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Yeah. She was like, I'm getting the protein powder. So we're talking about it.

[Asante]

But.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Anyways, I will say that if you want to work with a dietitian, we accept insurance. So definitely check us out at Diabetes Digital. Co. We don't only work with diabetes. We also work with, with pre diabetes PCOS, midlife people on GLP1s who need support and want to help nourish themselves and people just with, you know, different metabolic concerns like high cholesterol, things like that. So check us out and we would love to work with you. We have a team of 13 dietitians.

[Francesca]

Whoa. Congratulations. Cultural facts.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Spanish speaking yes. And so we are just here to support from a culturally inclusive, weight inclusive lens and behavior change focus first. Not all this craziness from online. So yeah, check us out.

[Francesca]

Diabetes Digital Amazing. Jess, thank you so much for joining our wellness segment today.

[Jess (Dietitian from Diabetes Digital)]

Thanks for having me.

[Dustin Ross]

Welcome to the Friends.

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[Dustin Ross]

Acrobat learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat.

[Asante]

This Week in Music Another amazing, exciting week in music. We have already touched on on the major story which was Bad Bunny's performance at the Super Bowl. Were there any other things that you guys want to touch on as far as Bad Bunny was concerned? I know we talked about it at the top just for a little bit of the show.

[Francesca]

I think we know that.

[Asante]

Well, Cardi B was there and apparently not news that I particularly care about but apparently Cardi B and Stefan Diggs broke up. They had a party that they were supposed to, or she did. So she did a million dollar party for his ass, but then apparently ended up breaking up with him post super during the Super Bowl.

[Dustin Ross]

I don't know nothing. I've seen that gossipy mess on the blog. I. All I know is that people saw that they unfollowed each other. She hasn't said they've broken up. He hasn't said they've broken up. Nobody's announced anything, so that's just like, a bunch of rumors, bro.

[Asante]

Well, Cardi apparently broke the Internet, and so they are filled with rumors just because of all of those things happening. So I wanted to make sure I made mention of Cardi, and it just said, girl, I know whatever you give us next is gonna be great. Like, just because we don't have. We don't have a lot of. And I say this with love, but we don't have a lot of, like, high profile, like, rap girls right now. We have a lot of. We have a lot of rap girls, sure. But. But, like, I just feel like I don't want to keep losing them. So, Cardi, if you're. If you are going through whatever you're going through with Stephan, can you just use it? You know, Is that wrong to say?

[Francesca]

Because I just saw. Well, I didn't see. Was it SNL that she just performed? I didn't see it, but I did see the response and people being very excited by her performance and what that means for the tour. So I feel like she got a Ducks in the rock.

[Asante]

Good.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Well, more coming from Cardi soon. Speaking of people out here doing things, Northwest, I didn't know that she was ser. I don't know if it's. Northwest is making music, and I had, like, two people send me her song. I still have not listened to it, but I wanted to make note of it because I don't know if this is, like, actually gonna be a thing or not.

[Francesca]

Wait, like she's. What do you mean? Her music. She's an artist.

[Asante]

So it's like. I want to say yes, but I don't. I don't know. Like, you know, I just never know when people are playing or just doing whatever. And she's still young, so it's like, I don't want to, like, do too much, but Northwest apparently has dropped piercing on my hand, which is her first official song.

[Francesca]

Nice. Okay. I mean, she's a baby, but I'm sure it's for her age group.

[Asante]

Maybe, but I. I Will say the look is cool. Like, I. So I saw her before I knew who she was, and I was like, what is going on here? And then someone like, that's northwest. She makes music. I was like, what? And I was like, I don't know. But I had a couple people send it to me, and I was kind of like, okay, if y' all sending it to me, then maybe something is happening. I just. Just don't entirely know what. So that's it for the artist that I want to mention, because if someone tell. If somebody wants to tell me in the comments that I need to listen, I might believe you. But I just. I don't know. And. And I also don't want to say. I don't want to be an old hater. So that's why I'm just like. I want to see what's going on. Dustin, please just share your opinion before it hurts. All right, well, now we're going to move on to our next portion, which is the listens lately songs to play. Friend, you have been out here, I'm sure, beating down the block and some music or, you know, beating down the block with good vibes, rather. So what have you been listening to?

[Francesca]

So Camper just put out a project, and they have a song with Alex Isley and Rose Gold, who I feel does not get as much attention as she deserves. Deserves because I adore her. She is a beautiful voice, beautiful woman. They dropped a song together called sixteen summers.

[Singer (various music segments)]

I close my eyes for memories I don't know where you are but the sunset looks the same they keep reminding me Even when the seasons change.

[Dustin Ross]

16.

[Singer (various music segments)]

Summers have come in Been gone since I knew love for the very first time 16 summers have come and gone and I still don't know life like yours and mine. Like yours and mine. There's no one like you no one can do what you do to my heart Sometimes you break it and leave it where it's la and put it back together again. Thank God.

[Asante]

Together.

[Francesca]

Gosh. And Camper. I see you, brother. You doing the damn thing. I've been a fan of his for a long time, and I see his pivot. He's. He's getting it right now. I'm really happy to see it.

[Asante]

Nice.

[Francesca]

Duran Bernard has a song with James Bamboo, and it's called Antidote, and I really like it. It popped up for me the other day. I was like, you know what? Let's celebrate Duran Grammy winners.

[Dustin Ross]

Sam.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

See is what you get you never know my heart I don't need you to Regret it cuz you know that you say you know just how to steal my Right away I knew just how to make you feel okay but now you're breaking all the so tell me how it really is without me standing right there with you by your.

[Dustin Ross]

Side.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Maybe nothing's really changed I'll just take it for what it is I go I don't even need your sorry. You won't even have to worry I can can pick up all the don't need let it go got to move.

[Dustin Ross]

Fast.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

We can't fix this when it's physical don't cry but don't call my.

[Dustin Ross]

Phone no more don't call my phone don't call my phone Right.

[Francesca]

And then lastly, J. Cole.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

And Thames have a song called Bunce Road Blues that I appreciated.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Boy, you better be on something My mama ain't never even give me no.

[Dustin Ross]

Rubbers Papa was gone how to put.

[Asante]

Trojan on with something I had to.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Discover all doing I'm my own Y' all know the song I probably been.

[Francesca]

Singing this for too long Part of.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Me if I've been sounding like some.

[Asante]

Broken record I come from the brokers.

[Francesca]

On home.

[Asante]

Come from the brokers on home.

[Dustin Ross]

It's 7 o' clock on a dot I'm in my drop top cruising the streets till I up in I didn't think the same back then say I know how we change my that's when the pistons go pop Bodies drop They got the block block it's the police.

[Asante]

We ain't seen nothing I just roll.

[Dustin Ross]

On my weed and get the puffing and lay back in my seat oh yes, I'm numb again.

[Francesca]

But yeah, those are my three this week.

[Asante]

Yes, friend, you over there vibing out for real. All right. Dustin Robin, what have you been over there bumping to?

[Dustin Ross]

I got distracted because Fran started playing Future Bumping too.

[Francesca]

On a jazz record. Okay, on a jazz record.

[Dustin Ross]

This one of my favorite songs right now. It's called High Fashion by I Swear vzo.

[Francesca]

Oh.

[Dustin Ross]

Top I'm riding down look at the sun just see the rain Jewelry boxing like I sell a whole lot of pounds Go chain for chain hunts and pills Anyway, I love that song. This next song I'mma play is by Danny Lay. It's called Expensive.

[Francesca]

Oh, is this new? Okay, girl.

[Singer (various music segments)]

Miss Expensive. This is too expensive. It get heavy simple times I miss it I don't get it Feel like my grip is slipping Keep that in.

[Dustin Ross]

Mind.

[Singer (various music segments)]

I need some time I swear I've tried. Miss Expensive lately I ain't doing good Feeling awake Surfing on water falling off my face.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Francesca]

Oh, my God.

[Dustin Ross]

That's Expensive by Danny Lay. The last song I'mma play. The last song I'mma play is by. Actually, I'm playing two more songs. The next song I'm g play is by Linda Dawn. One. It's called Roses. I heard this song on my. It just came on my YouTube and I was like, oh, this is dope. That's Linda Dawn. Okay, now the last song I'm gonna play. Literally, this is my last song. This song is by Bad Dolly. It's called Sponsor My act bad. Yeah.

[Francesca]

Talking about he want a bad, you know, you gotta do to get a bad like me. Like, for real. Like, come on, we gonna play Simon says, if not get the out my face. Say you want a Betty then sponsor my egg bad. Gotta send the cash before you can get this ass Sponsor my act bad Keeping them hoes mad Sponsor my act bad Sponsor my act bad I'm a real ass bitch cone with my own bag Real ass boss Alena never have no pussy ho man Cause she coming in last give me clown vibes I don't even laugh But I might sell me some ass on nobody ex that in my pants.

[Dustin Ross]

Hey, so yeah, that's sponsored by Bad Dolly. That's it for me this week.

[Asante]

Well, one more song.

[Dustin Ross]

No, I'm just playing. That's it for me.

[Asante]

All right, I'm going to start this off playing at. Did I play Thundercat already? Well, this song is called this is Thundercat, Lil Yachty and Flying Lotus. This song is called I did this to myself.

[Francesca]

I was listening to this.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Hey, what are you doing later tonight.

[Asante]

After you're done with work? You might be tired. I'mma be awake.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Got me looking like a fool Just to get some of your attention Girl, what I got. Like you've already had enough Do I.

[Francesca]

Remind you of your race?

[Dustin Ross]

That don't seem too fair.

[Asante]

Cause I just got here. So yes, Thundercat always doing that thing. Next artist I'm gonna play Don Toliver. I'm still with his project. This song is E85.

[Francesca]

On the Highway.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

And I'm thinking that I love on.

[Dustin Ross]

A highway and I'm thinking ain't no.

[Adobe Acrobat Promoter]

Rubber on a highway with my significant love.

[Asante]

In.

[Francesca]

Wait do the Dustin. Do the.

[Asante]

My God, that's Don To. I'm with the project Liberian girl To.

[Francesca]

Dom To Crazy words like wow.

[Asante]

Last song I'm gonna share. I don't know if I played this artist before, but she keep coming up on YouTube and she is just so cute. Her name might be Genia. G E N I A G E.

[Francesca]

N I A. Yeah, hard to know nowadays.

[Dustin Ross]

Genia.

[Asante]

Well, Genia Janiah Janiyah, right? You know like. Well, this song is called 10 out of 10. Came out a couple years ago and it will not leave my YouTube algorithm. Here's how it goes.

[Francesca]

With it.

[Singer (various music segments)]

Make no mistake, I was here for you. S me if you lame, it's my ass at the party you feel away and I feel for you.

[Francesca]

Sorry.

[Singer (various music segments)]

You know what it is When I move she does it again. She does it again. Wanna.

[Asante]

So yes, that is Jania, I'm assuming. And that's 10 out of 10 because she does it again. Her Benjamin dance there was cute little things and I was like, okay, girl.

[Dustin Ross]

What we doing it?

[Asante]

So that's it for the Music man segment. Now we move on into tv.

[Dustin Ross]

Ross this week in tv. Yeah. So the super bowl took place on Sunday. So there's there was a pause in the typical programming that we watch on Sundays. So like none of the Bravo reality shows that typically are on Sundays aired this past week, but they all come back this weekend. So this is a big time to watch Bravo. Married to Medicine is coming to a close with their season. The first part of the three part reunion for the Real Housewives of Potomac comes on this Sunday. So make sure you watch that. This would be a great week to binge the season if you didn't watch and then you could just slide right on into their reunion taping.

[Asante]

So.

[Dustin Ross]

So that is available for you as well. It's lots of things on TV for you to watch. I mean, if you just need something to look at, it's a lot of different ways you could go with it. But right now the focus is on Bravo on Sunday nights. Bravo did also just announced the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Brand new show, brand new cast, brand new everything. This is a clean slate. If you've never watched Housewives, this is your chance to get in on the ground floor with the new city. So that's happening. I haven't looked up the political backgrounds of any of the women because I just haven't. I just, I'm sure it'll find me, you know what I'm saying? I'm not even gonna have to look for it. I'm sure it'll find me. So until then, I'm going to just give it a shot. The homes looked really big and opulent on the trailer, which you can go view on all of Bravo's socials or if you go to their YouTube channel, you can watch the trailer. They there too for the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. But that's about to start also. Bell Collective starts this Friday on the OWN network. The Bells are back. We have a much longer season this time. So it's not just six or eight episodes. It's gonna be a good season. So that's about to start back. And that's it for TV Land this week, y'. All. Let's get the out of here.

[Francesca]

I had a question for you though, real quick. I saw. I saw people. I didn't watch it, but I saw people talking, I guess. Did the Grand Dame have a one on one?

[Dustin Ross]

She had a one on one interview with Andy Cohen. He came to her home. The episode opened with her literally leaving jail. The Bravo cameras were up as she rolled to jail, left the jail rather, and went home and was greeted by her son, her daughter, her son Brandon, her daughter Raven, and her sister Bridget, as well as her husband Ray. They all greeted her in the home. We know that it is very rare to see Karen's son film with her or participate. And he literally had a conversation with Andy on camera about, you know, although he's camera shy, he's definitely been taking care of the business. For his mom to continue her businesses running as she was doing her bid, it was just very personal. So watch that. Cause that's a. That. That was technically the season finale. Previously, we wrapped up all the storylines with the ladies on the cast. But the following week was just a complete one on one interview between Karen Huger and Andy Cohen that some people feel strongly about after watching it. So I'll leave it to you. I'll leave it to y' all to come up with your own conclusion.

[Francesca]

Disappointed by it.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. I think people wanted Karen to get on that screen and say, I'm a drunk and I could have really killed somebody. And I really up and did the worst thing a person on the face of this earth can do. Please, Lord, forgive me. I'm about to lay on this sword and bleed out in front of all of y'. All. I think that's what people wanted to hear say and she didn't say that. I think she could have taken a lot more accountability, but I think that what people are requesting from her is unfair. And I just put it like that because she paid her debts to society, you know, so. But yeah, watch it. Check it out. Tell me what you think when you watch it. You, you know, I don't know. People feel, like I said, people feel strongly about what they watched.

[Asante]

So, yeah, I skipped it. But you know what? Next week is so friend. If you watch it, it. I'll watch it with you.

[Francesca]

Yeah. I mean, I'm curious to see why so many people were like. Literally all I saw is you being like, I'm done with this. I'm done with her. This was such a disappointment, especially for her age. And, you know, they would have expected more maturity, like you said, Dustin, more accountability. I didn't watch it, so I can't speak to what they're feeling or what's kicking up for them. But I was curious because I know that's. That's your show. So I was like, like, how did you agree with that overall sentiment?

[Dustin Ross]

You know, you just gotta watch it. I wanted. I would've liked to see her take a little bit more accountability, but Karen was being the same person that she has always been since we met her. So I feel like, with a little bit of a different tone, you know what I'm saying? There was a lot more humility there and a little bit more. A lot less of the royal posturing, so to speak. But she was. You just gotta watch it. I'm interested to hear Yalls thoughts. So y' all tell me what y' all thought about Karen's interview. And that's it for the TV Land segment this week.

[Francesca]

That means that's it for us. We thank you so much for hanging out with us yet another week. We love you, we're grateful, and we'll see you guys next week.

[Asante]

Stay black and protect your magic.

[Francesca]

Bye, y'. All.

[Dustin Ross]

This is the grin doll.

[Dr. Horton Announcer]

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