The Friend Zone

Episode: Older Women Having a Good Time
Release Date: January 22, 2025
Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), Assanté

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the state of community, the rise of public co-signing among Black celebrities for Trump’s new inauguration, and the intensifying need for resourcefulness, communal support, and practical skills in the year ahead. The hosts blend humor, shade, and real talk to process political and personal upheaval—from the Trump inauguration stunts, the state of the digital economy, social media reliance, responses to the LA wildfires, and their predictions and intentions for 2025.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Public Black Celebrity Support for Trump’s Inauguration (01:12–09:54)

• "Coon Coop 5" Callout:

  • Dustin rails against the public appearances of Black rappers—Stephen A. Smith, Snoop Dogg, Nelly, Rick Ross, Soulja Boy—at Trump’s inauguration celebrations, dubbing them the “Coon Coop 5.”
  • Quote (Dustin, 01:39):

    “You got the Coon Coop 5 this time … a bunch of Black shoeshine, tap dancing … that decided to publicly perform at the Trump inauguration festivities. … And now his balloon of Black support has popped.”

  • Their participation is seen as a betrayal of community interests and moral clarity, aligning with Trump’s openly regressive policies.

• Nelly's Case:

  • Special focus on Nelly’s rationale (“I respect the office”) as an example of empty, self-serving contrarianism, prompting ridicule about his musical legacy and character.
  • Consequences for Ashanti by association are noted, with fan pages withdrawing support ("After 20 years support, we are now K Pop St." 07:28).

2. Personal Check-in: How Breaks & the “Energy of the Year” Feels (10:15–37:04)

• Winter Breaks and Emotional Checkpoints:

  • Asanté: Focused on home routines, safety (post-robbery), and connecting with friends. Humor on personal safety, gun laws, and the “paranoia” of needing to protect oneself, given changing times.
  • Francesca: Noted an increased sense of unease—heightened by local white supremacist activity, home soliciting, and surveillance fears—exacerbated by the political climate.
  • Dustin: Spent break focusing on professional goals, grounding in self-investment, but also acknowledges the “off” social vibe of the new year.

• A Collective Malaise and Disassociation:

  • The hosts recount feeling strange, disconnected, “just there” over the break, with the new year’s arrival feeling flat or ominous.
  • Quote (Francesca, 33:24):

    “I started crying after the countdown … It was this really ominous, weird feeling … I feel like we took 2024 for granted … a lot of challenges up ahead … but a challenging year isn't a bad year, it's just not what you thought it would be.”

3. Beyoncé's “Beyoncé Bowl” and the Power of Black Culture (22:33–25:59)

• Celebration of Black Excellence:
  • The hosts celebrate Beyoncé’s Christmas game performance as an extraordinary production, with particular admiration for Blue Ivy’s growth and the show’s embrace of Black cowboy/country traditions.
  • Quote (Dustin, 23:07):

    “Watching entertainers perform on such a large scale … is just exciting … highlight so much about all that Black cowboy culture … It was just a beautiful performance.”

  • Lively discussion about how such boldness in Black creative spaces models “giving us hope and unity” amid sociopolitical tension.

4. Safety, Surveillance & Community Watch (12:38–20:00; 40:51–44:49)

• Community Safety Fears:
  • Francesca describes unsettling encounters with white men “surveying” her neighborhood under pretexts, linking the increased racialized surveillance to the emboldened far-right.
  • The crew discusses the importance of legal self-defense, community vigilance, and staying informed about local gun laws and resources.
  • They propose future episodes on approachable, responsible gun ownership and self-protection ("We need someone who can talk about guns in a way that's not weird." 14:39).

5. Digital Economy & Tech Oligarchy—TikTok and Beyond (90:23–100:53)

• Tech Billionaires at Trump’s Inauguration; Meaning for Creators:

  • The hosts debate feelings of anxiety and resignation watching Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, and the TikTok CEO in prime seats at the inauguration.
  • Dustin’s stance (70:28–74:15):

    “No longer going to try to educate anybody … What, what I was able to do, I did on election day … I’m no longer trying to inform anybody of anything … [This] is worst-case scenario for me … I’ma protect me and mine.”

  • Francesca: Urges creators to keep sharing, teaching, and building community online, even as platforms shift and digital safety becomes more precarious.
  • Quote (Francesca, 100:53):

    “We need to be talking about what we’re doing … people that garden and grow food, we need your info more than ever now … You should consider some real-world, community-based skills this year.”

• TikTok Drama & Platform Manipulation:

  • The hosts unpack the TikTok “ban stunt,” Trump’s publicity move, and the post-ban shift in content moderation—especially the suppression of international social justice content (e.g., Gaza), sparking distrust of digital gatekeepers.
  • Noted how TikTok’s original appeal was its accessibility as an economic platform, especially for marginalized creators.

6. Community Response to the LA Fires (120:20–129:23)

• Resource Directories & Mutual Aid

  • Francesca shares vital, crowd-sourced resources:
    • Project PIT: transportation for evacuees
    • The Platinum Group: free car rental/tow/repairs
    • Mutual Aid LA (MaLAN): directories with shelters, direct family GoFundMes, alert systems, and direct ways to help Black and Latin families.
  • Quote (Francesca, 125:35):

    "Let's get these resources circulating, even throughout the year ... This isn’t over.”

• The Need for Real Community Economics:

  • The success of mutual aid fundraising signals a powerful model for economic resilience, especially for marginalized communities facing generational dispossession.

7. Reflections on Goals & Intentions for 2025: "What Skills Can You Offer?" (104:56–114:07)

• New Framework for Goal Setting:

  • Francesca urges listeners to set goals not just for personal growth but for collective sustainability. Skills acquisition should focus on mutual aid: growing food, language, self-defense, carpentry, or other practical trades.
  • Quote (Francesca, 113:02):

    “What is the skill—the goal that you have for this year—to learn something new that you can offer the people around you?”

• Dustin's Action Breakdown:

  • Have a mindfulness toward community as you move in your career (“as you’re doing your thing, be aware of how your choices open doors for others”).
  • The need for direct, actionable support—especially since DEI initiatives are rapidly being dismantled ("They rescinded any sort of Black and Latin protections," 105:19).

8. Listener Feedback & Community Shoutouts (49:36–59:49)

• Lexi Rich’s comment on “older women having a good time” and the Karen Huger (“Grand Dame”) storyline on Real Housewives of Potomac sparks a humorous debate on age, accountability, and public perception.
• Community birthdays, fire support, and historical context for the displacement in Altadena are highlighted ("If you have a GoFundMe, send it to me so I can mention it on the show," 58:03).

9. Black Business of the Week: Leroy’s Blend Coffee by Marquis Devon (41:19–44:49)

• Coffee Spotlight:
  • Marquis Devon (activist/educator/podcast host) releases “Leroy’s Blend," a Guatemalan medium roast in partnership with BVP Coffee Co.—dedicated to his “Pop Pop Leroy.”
  • Quote (Francesca, 42:13):

    “I invite you all in to get to know my Pop Pop Leroy by experiencing the rich flavors of this Guatemalan coffee. It tastes even better when sipped in the presence of community.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• On the state of Black celebrity at Trump’s inauguration (Dustin, 01:38):

  “You got the Coon Coop 5 … a bunch of Black shoeshine tap dancing … They have decided to publicly perform at the Trump inauguration festivities.”

• On resignation and boundaries regarding politics (Dustin, 70:28):

  “No, it didn’t phase me at all. I had long before decided … I’m off. I hop off the train, it is what it is.”

• On “taking 2024 for granted” (Francesca, 33:24):

  “I felt like we took it for granted … I felt sad. I felt like there’s a lot of shit—there are a lot of challenges up ahead.”

• On skills and community for 2025 (Francesca, 113:02):

  “What is the skill—the goal—that you have for this year, to learn something new that you can offer the people around you?”

• On TikTok, creators, and platform change (Francesca, 96:01):

  “It almost feels like someone came to your house and was touching shit while you were gone ... This is not the same app.”

• On mobilizing post-LA fires (Francesca, 107:04):

  “Afropunk and Mutual Aid LA raised $15 million for 600+ Black families—the double consciousness of 'I have my goals, and I have our goals.'”

Music, TV, and Cultural Highlights

Music Segment (129:23–166:26)

• The team shares new and classic favorites, with notable praise for:
  • Bad Bunny’s new album: especially "Nueva Yol" and "Baile Inolvidable" for building diasporic connection.
  • Miguel's “Always Time" for its emotional resonance.
  • G-Unit’s “Wanna Get to Know You” – a nostalgic throwback.

TV Land (176:02–198:47)

• Get Millie Black (Max): Lauded for representation and compelling storytelling.
• 90 Day Fiancé/Meried at First Sight: Ongoing relationships dissected for their mess and insight.
• Real Housewives of Potomac/NYC/Beverly Hills/Salt Lake City: Fiercely debated reunion looks, shifting alliances, and franchise shade.
• Selling the City (Netflix): For a quick reality show laugh.

Actionable Takeaways & Community Calls

• Stay Informed: Know local laws, especially regarding personal and home safety.
• Skill Up: Learn/teach practical skills valuable for real life and community resiliency.
• Mutual Aid: Donate directly to affected families via trusted directories; circulate aid resources; support and amplify local Black businesses and creators.
• Stay Visible: Despite corporate tightening and algorithm changes, community content, and visibility are essential for resistance and resource-sharing.
• Speak Out: Allies, especially white listeners, are called to step up, intercepting harmful rhetoric and protecting targeted neighbors.
• Tune In: Participate in the Friend Zone’s Patreon for further conversation, community, and commercial-free content.

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Black Celebrities at Trump Inauguration | 01:12–09:54 | | Personal Check-In / New Year Vibes | 10:15–37:04 | | Beyoncé Bowl & Black Entertainment | 22:33–25:59 | | Safety, Surveillance, & Community Vigilance | 12:38–20:00 | | Digital Economy—Tech Oligarchy | 90:23–100:53 | | Mobilizing for LA Fires—Resources and Mutual Aid | 120:20–129:23| | Setting 2025 Intentions, Skills for Community | 104:56–114:07| | Listener Comments & Shoutouts | 49:36–59:49 | | Black Business Highlight: Leroy’s Blend by Marquis Devon | 41:19–44:49 | | Music Segment (highlights and recommendations) | 129:23–166:26| | TV Land (reality TV & drama picks) | 176:02–198:47|

Tone & Language

• The episode is rich in wit, candidness, and Black vernacular; jokes and sidebars flow naturally but punctuate moments of vulnerability and sharp critique.
• Tone oscillates between humor, frustration, communal warmth, and earnestness about the challenges ahead.

Final Thoughts

The hosts of The Friend Zone use this episode as a reality check and motivational charge for 2025. It’s both a diagnosis of social, political, and personal turbulence, and a clarion call for communal skill-building, mutual aid, and the preservation of joy—especially for those who are marginalized or weary from the relentless disruptions of recent years.