B (2:11)

Yes.

A (2:12)

About making an appeal.

B (2:14)

Yes.

A (2:15)

And so we thought we would just tackle that head on today with six biggest fears when making an appeal and how you can overcome them.

B (2:23)

Yep.

A (2:24)

So I think it'll be really interesting topic. Jim, you have given over 2500 appeals in your lifetime. I think you're probably over around 3,000 now.

B (2:35)

Oh, not. I. Believe it or not, Jason, I didn't actually start doing the appeals till about 300 or so dinners in. I just. I.

A (2:44)

300? I thought you were going to say 380.

B (2:47)

No, no, no, no. Even. Even. I didn't feel com. Comfortable and confident in the beginning. It took me a while to listen to people doing it right. And I said, I can do this, and then boom.

A (3:00)

And you're just instant success from there on.

B (3:03)

No, actually, I wish I could say it took me a while to work up as well, too, but I always say you've got to start somewhere.

A (3:08)

Yeah. Would you say that some of these fears were some of the ones that you struggle with?

B (3:12)

Oh, you know, as everybody does. Yeah. It's just, you know, there's. We all have insecurities. We all have baggage that we bring into any relationship or any situation, work, whatever. And. Yes.

A (3:25)

So, Jim, we're going to talk about the six fears of making an appeal. I'm just going to run through them all really fast, then we'll go back and talk through each one.

B (3:33)

Okay.

A (3:34)

For the rest of the episode. Okay, so first fear of making an appeal is the fear of awkwardness. Okay. The second one is the fear of overstepping boundaries. Third one is a fear of inadequacy. The fourth one is a fear of exposure. The fifth one is the fear of losing control. And the last one we're going to talk about is the fear of the unknown. Okay, so some of those sound like movie titles.

B (4:00)

Yeah.

A (4:00)

For each one of these fears, we're going to be talking about the mindset of the fear. So, like, kind of what is going into the thinking behind this? Okay, we're going to explain it a little bit, and then we're going to talk about some scriptures to combat that fear. And also just the mindset shift for each fear of how to overcome that fear. Okay, so sounds great. Let's go into the first one, the fear of awkwardness. And the mindset here is. This is going to make things a little weird.

B (4:25)

Right. So, Jason, I can't tell you how many times I've actually had to experience that myself. I remember just the awkwardness that exists when you have been friends for someone for a long time and all of a sudden you decide, it's time I want to ask them for money. And there is an awkwardness there that we have been friends for a long time. Now we're going to flip it and sort of almost have A business relationship or a. I'm asking you to give me money or give me money regularly. That can cause real awkwardness.

A (5:03)

So you're afraid to bring up money that you might strain the relationship that you have?

B (5:06)

Absolutely.

A (5:07)

So it's just easier to not bring it up?

B (5:09)

Absolutely. That's. Yeah. Well, I can. I've got a great story that I remember. It was probably the first appointment I ever had when my wife and I raised personal support. We had some individuals that I worked with. And I said to Diane, we're gonna bring these guys to dinner. And we took them out to dinner and I kept getting nervous about, do I bring this up? And you know, is this the appropriate thing? So I didn't bring it up to dinner. And I said to myself, I'm going to bring it up on the car ride home because they were both in the back seat. And I remember. I can remember this as if it was yesterday. I. They were opening the door, getting ready to walk out, and I said, oh, by the way, you guys wouldn't want to support us with our, with our ministry, would you? And I heard the door go, and that was it. And I stood there going, maybe I didn't do that. Right. I had the fear of awkwardness the whole evening. And boy, did that. Needless to say, I never contacted them anymore and they never contacted me. And yes, awkwardness exists.

A (6:14)

So a scripture just to combat the fear of awkwardness, obviously, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self control. So this is coming from first second Timothy, second Timothy 1, 7 and also Philippians 4, 6 says, do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, in prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your gifts to God. So obviously to overcome this mindset, we need to ask boldly as an act of service and love to the individual. And then the mindset shift. Here is it.

B (6:49)

First of all, don't be fearful of asking. This is a mindset shift. You've got to remember that your friendship and your relationship consist, sustain this. If someone is a friend, you've got to realize that you are sharing with them an exciting opportunity. It's no different than the fears that we have about sharing our faith. Sometimes our friends and family members are the toughest ones because we've got the closest relationship. Does that mean that we don't want them in heaven with us? No, we do. You've got to overcome that and just ask boldly. That's the. Those are the keys.

A (7:27)

Well, I like your idea of presenting it as a Invitation?

B (7:31)

Yes.

A (7:32)

Rather than, you know, asking them awkwardly, you know, so presenting it as an opportunity. Presenting this exciting opportunity to partner with you, inviting them in. Those are ways that we can shift from, you know, hey, I need money. I need monthly support. Will you help Diane and I, you know, meet our needs?

B (7:50)

You know, you move from beggar to ambassador.

A (7:53)

Right. So that's the first fear. Second fear is over. The fear of overstepping boundaries. So the second fear is the fear of overstepping boundaries. Now, the mindset here, or the fear is it's okay or the. The idea. And we see this a lot in our perfect vision when we're setting goals for 150, $200,000, sometimes people in our class are like, is it okay to ask people for a $50,000 check? You know, like, is that okay?

B (8:23)

You know, it's almost like they want our mission.

A (8:25)

Sounds too much.

B (8:25)

Yeah.

A (8:26)

You know, it sounds like, are we overstepping people's boundaries? What are your thoughts on that?

B (8:31)

Well, without a doubt. I mean, they're. Very rarely do we have a dinner where there isn't at least one large, significant gift given. And if you don't put that large amount out there, you're never gonna get the gift you have. Not. Because you asked not. And, in fact, I remember one particular dinner that I did where I debated, and I really talked myself out of a 50,000 and kept the amount down at $25,000. And I remember that $25,000 box got checked off. And when I did some research, because this person had never given a gift to this organization before, and their first gift was 25,000. So I reached out to them, and they said, yeah, I just felt impressed by the Lord as I was driving there to give them the highest amount that was put on that response card. And I thought, holy cow, if I would have put the 50, I would have gotten 50 from them. But I didn't have enough faith, and I only asked for 25, and he gave me what I asked for.

A (9:40)

Amazing.

B (9:41)

Yeah.

A (9:41)

Yeah. So Scriptures, in James, chapter four, verse two, it says, you have not because you ask not. And in Second Corinthians 9, 7, it says, each one of you must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion. For God loves a cheerful giver. I think it keeps going on to say that.

B (10:02)

Yeah.

A (10:03)

So anyways, the idea here is that we're not forcing people to give a large gift. We're giving them the opportunity to make an investment in the organization. So, again, you have to flip the way you're thinking about things.

B (10:17)

This isn't arm twisting. It's not coercion. It's just offering an invitation.

A (10:21)

Well, the third fear is the fear of inadequacy. So the mindset here is I just don't know what to say.

B (10:28)

Yeah, never been trained, never trained.

A (10:30)

I don't like asking. I don't know how to do that. That sounds awkward. So the feeling of just unqualified, unskilled, you know, and you probably felt that way when you first started.

B (10:39)

Sure.

A (10:40)

But obviously, or maybe they've tried it before and they messed up and, you know, maybe they're carrying around some bad experiences of asking for money. It didn't go so well. So any scriptures to combat this?

B (10:54)

Well, Exodus 4:1012 says, I am slow, speech and tongue. And once again, remember, this is Moses saying this. And we always think of Moses as being a great communicator. But in reality, I think Scripture tells us that he wasn't. But God spoke through him who has made man's mouth. I will be with your mouth in teach you what you shall speak. So that's God speaking after Moses said, I'm slow of speech and tongue. Clearly Moses trusted God. Clearly God spoke through him. And if we put that up before the Lord, and he will speak before us. The other scripture verse that I like a lot is Luke 12:12, where it says, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say. Luke tells us that God is there for us and that the Holy Spirit will give you the words when you need it. And that has always guided me as well.

A (11:58)

So the mindset in order to overcome this is that God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called.

B (12:04)

I love that, too.

A (12:05)

So your job is to be obedient to what God is calling you to do with the appeal, giving people the opportunity to invest in the organization. Organization. And then trusting that he will give you the words.

B (12:18)

Yeah.

A (12:18)

There's actually a story of a director who went through a program recently. She's actually from South Africa. You might have remembered her. She was one of the CEF directors, I think, of North Dakota. She was, you know, had a South African accent.

B (12:33)

Okay.

A (12:33)

And she said when this wasn't about the appeal, but when she got up to do her ministry update, she always gets nervous talking in front of people and she loses her vocabulary and she feels like she can't speak very well.

B (12:49)

Right.

A (12:49)

She said, you know, that night, the whole night, she just felt like the Holy Spirit was working. And when she went to give her when she went to give her ministry update that she didn't have any problems. She just had the. The Holy Spirit really just gave her the words and helped her through it. And so I think a lot of it has to do with how you prepare for something like this. When you go through the perfect vision. In our mentorship program, you know, we give you the script to say, but we also teach you, you know, how to prepare, you know, and. And how the tone, obviously, if you just sit up there and read, it's not going to come across right. So you have to learn how to read. And we practice with people on. On that. But just trusting that this is something that has been done before, this is what works, and just kind of going with it, you know, is what can really help.

B (13:41)

Yep.

A (13:42)

The fourth fear is the fear of exposure. The mindset of this fear is if I ask, they will see how desperate we are.

B (13:50)

Yep. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, it's. It's out there that you are putting yourself out there, and nobody wants to reveal their inadequacies. Jason, when we ask people to put out there their accelerators, it means that something needs to be improved. If we put out there that we need money, it means that potentially we're not bringing in as much as we need. If potentially we are in the red, which you really never want to have to tell people you're in the red. It. It opens yourself up for criticism. It's. It's vulnerable, and nobody wants to feel vulnerable. But what it does is it actually really reveals your inadequacies because somewhere deep inside, you think the organization has needs. Because of my bad management, the bad way things are being handled. And it could just be that you ran into some bumpy times. And it's not bad to share those bumpy times with people and say, we invite you to be part of that, part of the solution, to help us solve our problems. But people don't want to put that out there. Now, a couple scripture verses that I really like. Jason. 2nd Corinthians 12, 9 says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. So, I mean, we see that God is sufficient, and we may feel inadequate and weak, but when we are weak, he is strong. And so it's so important that we rely on him and put those burdens on him. Psalm 34, 5 said, those who look to the Lord are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. So being a follower of Christ, doing God's work, doing your best in the power of the Holy Spirit, Spirit is never going to be in, is never going to be inadequate.

A (15:53)

Not being afraid to be honest and to present the opportunities that's right, not share the needs.

B (15:59)

The next one is the fear of losing control. Jason. And golly, the mindset here is once I ask, I can't control how they'll respond. And frankly, Jason, I see this all the time. I see it from over talkers. There's a point in the appeal, especially when you're face to face, when it's time for you to just shut your mouth, just keep things quiet and let the Holy Spirit work in people's hearts. And even if it's in the dinner, you know, you pray for people and let it go through. But too many people have a poor self worth. They feel inadequate and they keep yapping. Jason, you know, I hope you didn't mind me asking for this. I'm sorry that I brought this up. You know, I probably really have been wasting your time. You know what? In fact, actually, Kelly, it's getting really late. How about if I just give you a call in about three weeks or three months or three years? I'm sorry I bothered you with this. Just let the Holy Spirit work. There's a point where you have to surrender to the Holy Spirit and you have to say, God, I'm not adequate to handle this. I never will be. It's in your hands. How this person responds is up to you. It's not in my hands. And you've got to surrender control. Too many leaders just want to keep maintaining control and you got to just release. There's a point where you just have to give it up to the Lord and say, I'm not going to be able to do this.

A (17:28)

So Proverbs 3, 5 and 6, one of my favorite scriptures. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.

B (17:39)

I love that.

A (17:40)

And then Galatians 1:10, he says, am I now seeking the approval of men or of God? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

B (17:51)

Yeah, you can't serve God and serve man at the same time. You got to choose to serve Christ. This mindset means that you're responsible for the invitation. You're not responsible for the response. We were taught early on in crew, present the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit and leave the results to God. And I have confiscated that in the development world and said, present the opportunities exist in your ministry and leave the results to God. And it. That's all you can do. And let God work with that. Obedience belongs to you. Outcomes belong to God. And it is so important that you remember that you just need to do your part. And God always is faithful to do his part. So don't let that get you. What's the last fear, Jason?

A (18:40)

The last fear is kind of related to losing control, but it's just fear of the unknown.

B (18:44)

Yes.

A (18:44)

Like, I'm just not sure. Sure what will happen. And so, you know, and this is all in the area of asking, and I think this is why people tend to want to lean towards ticketed events or things that charge, you know, underwriting, underwriting, sponsorships, because in a sense, it kind of takes the pressure off of

B (19:08)

you're walking in there with all this money already. And, you know, what if this thing's a failure, I've at least got their ticket. Right. Fees.

A (19:17)

And so. So, yeah, the. The whole idea. And we see this a lot with the perfect vision. Enter when we say at the beginning of the program, so we. We tell them, okay, we're not going to be charging tickets, we're not going to be selling tables. And they go, we're not going to be doing underwriting.

B (19:32)

How are we covering the cost?

A (19:34)

Yeah. And they're like, well, what if nobody shows up? And what if nobody gives anything that we're going to be out all this money?

B (19:40)

Yeah.

A (19:40)

So it's this. The fear of the unknown.

B (19:42)

Right.

A (19:42)

We have to deal with this. Um, and really what it boils down to is trusting the Lord, trusting the process, trusting 40 years of a development experience. Right. When. When somebody has done something over 3,000 times, you can either go with what you know and what makes sense to you, or you can say, you know, Jim and Jason have done this before. They know what they're talking about, and they say that this works better. Yes. It works better to get the right people in the room. It works better to present it as an opportunity.

B (20:15)

Right.

A (20:15)

And an. It works better to have an appeal that works well than it is to do tickets and auctions and entertainment and have big names and all this stuff. And so, you know, there is a trust element to that. But the reason why people don't want to do it is because they're just. They've never done that before, and they're they're just afraid of the unknown.

B (20:37)

We're. We're stretching their faith. Our model is the faith model, Jason. You have to trust in the power of the Holy Spirit more than any other model. That I know. And that scares people to death. And when they have to trust God for their money, it's one thing to trust them, that hopefully my mom will get better or whatever it is. But to trust people for your next paycheck, that takes a lot. And trusting God for that is so very important. Some scripture verses to combat that. Hebrews 11:8. By faith, Abraham obeyed. That's it. This is like Jesus wept. This is one of those verses, by faith, Abraham obeyed. You don't need need any more to go along with that. We do say not knowing where he was going, but that was it. That's all you needed to know. And I think that's why God blessed Abraham so much, because he just obeyed. We need to remember to obey ourselves. Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you. I will strengthen you. I will help you. That just, it's incredible. I always love in scripture where God says, when Moses says, who should I tell them? Send me. God says, says I am. That's all he needed to say. He is. And that just is amazing. I am. Matthew 28:20 says, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. And that is just so terrific. Jason, how about those mindset shifts?

A (22:04)

So the mindset shift here is that God never promised it would be easy, right? But he did promise that we would never be alone. So he wants to walk through the fire with us.

B (22:15)

Right?

A (22:15)

And that's really, it's that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego thinking thing. He didn't save them from the fire, but he was with them in the fire. And as a director of a non profit leader, you know, he wants to take you through fire to, to learn how to trust in him more. Right. And the appeal process can definitely feel like a refining thing. We're certainly going to help you a lot with that in our program. You can trust in 3,000 dinners gone before, but it's never easy to do it for the first time, certainly. And, and we, we know that if you depend on the Lord, he'll be with you as you go through it. Well, thanks for listening to this episode of the Fundraising Masterminds podcast. If you found this to be helpful, let us know in the comments below which fear you struggle with and let us know if there's other fears that you have of appeals that maybe we missed. We'd love to hear that from you. As always, please subscribe because this place is for you. If you're a nonprofit leader, maybe your first time nonprofit leader coming in, and maybe you don't realize that we have over a hundred episodes of development Advice, development fundraising advice in the past. We've got a lot of stuff coming in the future you don't want to miss, so hit that subscribe button. And also, just on the topic of appeals, since giving the appeal is one of the most fearful things that people have, especially in the area of fundraising, we just wanted to let you know that in the Perfect Vision in our mentorship program, we actually give you Jim's script word for word. It's one of the only things that in the program that we actually want you to learn word for word and kind of commit that to memory. Because, Jim, you have found a perfect formula that really is tried, tested, and true and use it on every single appeal that you do now. And it's really just come over 40 years of refining, refining, refining, and we've got it down to this is what works. Stick with the plan. And we teach that in the Perfect Vision in our mentorship program. Amongst many other things, there's lots of. There's like 300 things we teach, but one of the big ones, actually, we're in the program right now teaching about the appeal. So. So if you're interested in learning how to go deeper with that and learn how to improve the appeal or to learn how to raise six figures, definitely check out the Perfect Vision Inner Mentorship Program. QR codes on the screen. You can scan that or you can click on the link in the description. That link will take you to a special page where you can book a call with one of the members on our team. And we'd be happy to talk through whether this program is right for you. But it is a 21 week mentorship program where we walk you through, step by step, how to plan and execute your very own vision Dinner so that you raise six figures for your nonprofit. So if that sounds interesting to you, definitely check it out. Well, thanks a lot for tuning in to this episode of the Fundraising Masterminds podcast Cast. We'll see you next time.

B (25:11)

Take care.