← The Futur with Chris Do
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- [00:00]
A
That's one of your big philosophies in why your personal brand is so successful, giving value before you ask for anything. How do you do that as a business versus just a passion project where it's like, I'm just giving value.
- [00:14]
B
I think we're always walking around wondering, what does somebody want from us? What do you want from me? Look in your DMs, look in your inbox. Look at how people come up to you at a conference or a networking event. Guard's up, man. Your guard's up all the time. You're trying to steal my time, my attention, my money, my friends, my status. And until we start to feel comfortable with somebody, we're not going to really entertain those ideas. And I think the thing that is really disarming to people is to lead with generosity. Not because it's a scheme, it's not a Trojan horse, but because it's generally how you operate. It's part of your operating system. So somebody who comes by, a total stranger, and says, hey, Mo, I see you there, you look a little lost in the sea of people. Tell me what's going on. Like I told you, we all want to be seen to be included. And there's some part of you in that moment I could imagine. When I say you, I mean all of you who are listening or watching is a child who was neglected at some point. No matter how much love you got, it was never enough. And we should not put a container on a love so it could be more fine. So you felt left out. You felt overlooked, passed up on. So when somebody's like, hey, Mo, I just noticed you're alone there. What's going on? You're like, well, I don't know anybody here. It's like, who would you like to meet? And you say to me, oh, well, I don't know, maybe this kind of person. You're like, well, let's go find them together. By the way, my name is Chris, and I think that moment's gonna stick with you. You're probably gonna say to yourself, that guy or that gal is genuine. And there's something about human nature that we are going to feel like we need to reciprocate. Our social network depends on us doing that. So when somebody gives to you, eventually you need to do something like, I make dinner. Well, I got the dishes, or I bought the groceries, or, you drove, let me fill up the gas. It's not a quid pro quo mandate, but it's how we continue to build on the relationship. So it Gets stronger versus weaker. And so somewhere along the way. Oh, hey, Chris. What are you doing here? Is it your job to just meet randos in the corner and introduce him to people? Well, no, actually, I'm going to be speaking. Oh, what are you speaking about? You see, like, we start to show for each other, like, oh, is there still room? Can I sit upfront and support you in any way? And then that's the beginning of a relationship. Now, you can do this at scale, using content. And what people are doing is they're spending a lot of time listening to you, kind of as if they feel like you are speaking to them. When it comes from the heart, when it comes from a genuine place, I think people can feel that. Now, let's take the opposite. Let's say someone is out there pretending to be a certain way. They think they're being very clever. I. I'm saying maybe we'll divide the population to thirds. A third already knows what's the game, and they tune you out immediately. A third are skeptical, but will give you the benefit of doubt. And the third are just totally blind. They have no freaking clue. Take all their money. So let's just talk about the third in the middle. They're going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but they're a little bit skeptical. They can go down a rabbit hole with you, and they're waiting for you to show yourself your true self. And when they see it, like, I knew it, I knew it. So my whole thing is my identity. First I thought was a graphic designer, but my real identity is a teacher. Underneath. A graphic designer was a teacher, and I'm here to teach. I'm not really thinking about the business. The irony is, the more that I don't think about the business, more business opportunities appear. It's just like when you stop trying to impress people, people might be impressed.
- [03:29]
A
Paradox principle, definitely.
- [03:30]
B
Yeah, it is. There's a lot of that, right? And I wrote about something like that recently. I said, when you stop caring about what people think, people will start caring about what you think about. Being needy is repulsive. You push people away, like, oh, can you validate me? Can I have money? Can you introduce me all these people, it's like, get away from me. But if you get into this kind of like, how can I serve you? What can I do to help you? And I can only conjecture so why people are drawn to watching the content and listening to this bald Asian fool, Right? I know what it is, but you can never know unless you ask all the people like, why do you watch this channel? Could be a number of different reasons, but I think in our life, as we're navigating this world, we are looking for some inner peace, to be comfortable with us being who we are, to be seen and not judged, to be acknowledged and appreciated without the judgment attached to all that stuff. And I navigate the world in the way that I feel so comfortable in my own skin. I've stopped caring about what people think. I care about people, but I don't care about people's opinions of me. And I think that's such an anomaly for people when they. They run into us either in. Online or in person. You're drawn to this thing because you're looking for that peace yourself. And so if somebody else is emitting this energy, this frequency, I think on some subconscious level, they feel seen, they feel safe, and they want to learn from that. When we talk about being attractive, I'm not talking about physical beauty, but I'm talking about this inner peace, this. This joy that you have for life, this optimism that you have that's still rooted in reality, but there's still optimism there, and this powerful contentment that you're okay and you're ever. You're very present and grounded in the moment. I think that's why some spiritual leaders, some yogis, I assume the Dalai Lama is very attractive because there's just inner peace emanating from their pores. That's my theory. And then like, nah, bro, it's not that, bruh. It's about the business advice or whatever they're gonna say.
- [05:28]
A
It's the fact that you made me close a $10,000 deal on that sales call, man, with your questions. That's what it is. That probably helped inner peace. Schminer piece, man.
- [05:37]
B
But that 10,000 pieces of inner peace right there.
- [05:43]
A
That'S a fact. I would personally agree with that. I think you're. And I love giving you your flowers in person and live. I think you do a tremendous job in making the person that you're speaking to feel that what you're saying is not for clout, is not for performance. You arrive with truth every time, whether it's sharp razor blade, Chris, where it's like, yo, let me. I'm going to give it to you in a way that might hurt. Or it's like, hey, it sounds like you're needing this in this moment, and that's what. That's what's going to help that person move forward. And I. I think you do have a. I think that gives people a lot of peace because it's a breath of fresh air from a lot of people in this space that give me the impression are performing. To be honest, that's where. That's what my.
- [06:35]
B
Yeah. And we all are, to a degree. And I'll say this. I think if you want to be an impressive person, stop trying to impress people. No one who's impressive is ever really trying to impress you. Actually, most of us will find that to be repulsive. Like, check out my car. Check out my watches. Check out where I live. Check out my. My spouse. Check out how perfect my children are. Not. Not really. Look at my bank account. I'm not really impressed at all.