Balancing Work and Mental Health | Nick Cannon

Summary

Podcast Summary: The GaryVee Audio Experience Episode: Balancing Work and Mental Health | Nick Cannon
Release Date: December 17, 2024
Host/Author: Gary Vaynerchuk
Guest: Nick Cannon

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1. Introduction: Setting the Tone

Gary Vaynerchuk opens the episode by drawing a parallel between social media and alcohol, emphasizing the importance of responsible usage. He highlights that while social media can be detrimental when used superficially, it holds the potential to inspire and positively impact young listeners (00:00).

2. Redefining Masculinity and Alpha Roles

Gary Vaynerchuk and Nick Cannon delve into the concept of the "alpha male," discussing its historical significance and contemporary misinterpretations. Gary argues that societal upheavals often elevate alpha males to leadership roles, a trend observable throughout history from Genghis Khan to modern America (01:00).

Nick Cannon adds that true masculinity today should encompass vulnerability and emotional expression, challenging the stigmas associated with toxic masculinity and labels like "narcissist" (01:36).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [02:10]: "Alpha males would be number one in this place and any other part of the world."

3. The Challenges of Fatherhood and Work-Life Balance

The conversation shifts to fatherhood, where both hosts express the immense pressure men face in balancing professional responsibilities with being present parents. Nick Cannon emphasizes the societal expectation for fathers to provide and protect, often leading to guilt when they fall short (04:36).

Gary Vaynerchuk reflects on generational shifts, noting that modern fathers often overcompensate for past absences, striving to be more emotionally available despite the demanding nature of today's work environments (04:59).

Notable Quote:

Nick Cannon [05:12]: "You can miss one or two."

4. Financial Responsibilities and Parenting

Both hosts discuss the financial pressures associated with parenting. Gary Vaynerchuk highlights the importance of recognizing the financial contributions of parents and the emotional impact of balancing work and family life (06:19).

Nick Cannon shares his personal struggles with feeling adequate as a provider, acknowledging the difficulty in meeting both financial and emotional needs of his children (08:02).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [07:34]: "There's moms and dads out there who are working 13 hours a day to provide for kids."

5. Defining Successful Parenting

The hosts explore what constitutes successful parenting. Gary Vaynerchuk believes that the key indicator is whether children want to spend time with their parents, rather than the quantity of activities or attendance at events (14:35).

Nick Cannon concurs, suggesting that genuine emotional connections outweigh superficial markers of involvement (13:18).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [15:17]: "The definition of success... Do your children, after they're 22 years old, want to spend time with you or don't."

6. Mental Health and the Weight of Judgement

A significant portion of the discussion centers on mental health, particularly the self-imposed pressures men face. Gary Vaynerchuk advocates for reducing judgment of others as a pathway to improving personal well-being (16:10). He argues that societal focus on comparing oneself to others, especially through social media, exacerbates feelings of inadequacy and depression (17:36).

Nick Cannon echoes the sentiment, emphasizing that comparison breeds jealousy and diminishes joy (19:42).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [16:10]: "The number one way that everybody on Earth would get much happier is if they mind their own fucking business."

7. The Impact of Prosperity on Societal Strength

Gary posits that unprecedented prosperity has inadvertently led to societal weaknesses, contrasting it with past generations who faced existential threats like wars, fostering resilience (21:43). Nick Cannon agrees, noting that the ease of modern life can diminish character strength and perseverance (22:04).

Notable Quote:

Nick Cannon [22:37]: "The prosperity breeds depression, bro."

8. Parenting in an Era of Privilege and Opportunity

The conversation turns to parenting within privileged contexts. Gary Vaynerchuk discusses the challenges of instilling values in children who may not personally experience hardship due to their parents' financial status (24:08). He emphasizes the importance of exposing children to diverse environments to foster empathy and resilience.

Nick Cannon highlights the role of sports and structured activities in teaching discipline and hard work, regardless of a child's financial background (25:15).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [24:52]: "It's impossible [for affluent parents to replicate low-income experiences]."

9. Redefining Manhood: Emotional and Physical Strength

In the latter part of the episode, Gary and Nick discuss a more holistic definition of manhood that balances emotional intelligence with physical capability. Gary stresses that true strength lies in emotional resilience and the ability to handle challenges calmly (28:21).

Nick Cannon concurs, advocating for men to embody both emotional and physical strengths to better support their families and communities (28:25).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [29:09]: "Why can't you be a father that both at an argument, at a dinner table, instead of getting emotional and acting a fool, be fucking calm, collect and fucking debate your point of view with respect."

10. Conclusion: Embracing Authenticity and Mindfulness

Gary wraps up the discussion by reiterating the importance of minding one's own business and reducing judgment to enhance mental health. He draws parallels between social media usage and alcohol consumption, advocating for mindful engagement to foster personal growth and happiness (30:25).

Nick Cannon acknowledges Gary's insights, emphasizing the simplicity yet profound impact of these practices on individual well-being (31:45).

Notable Quote:

Gary Vaynerchuk [29:38]: "If you mind your own fucking business, I think your mental health will get better."

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Key Takeaways

• Balance is Crucial: Striking a balance between work and personal life is essential for mental health and effective parenting.
• Redefining Strength: Emotional resilience is as important as physical strength in defining true masculinity.
• Mindfulness Over Judgment: Reducing judgment of others can significantly improve personal happiness and mental well-being.
• Quality Parent-Child Relationships: Success in parenting is measured by the desire of children to spend time with their parents, not by the quantity of activities or presence.
• Impact of Prosperity: Modern prosperity can lead to societal complacency and reduced resilience, highlighting the need for fostering grit and perseverance in today's generation.

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Timestamp Guide:

• 00:00: Introduction and social media analogy
• 01:00: Discussing alpha males
• 01:36: Nick Cannon on masculinity
• 02:10: Alpha males in society
• 04:36: Challenges of fatherhood
• 05:12: Importance of presence
• 06:19: Financial responsibilities
• 08:02: Balancing provision and emotional needs
• 13:18: Defining successful parenting
• 14:35: Quality time with children
• 16:10: Mental health and judgment
• 17:36: Impact of self-judgment
• 19:35: Comparison and envy
• 21:43: Prosperity's impact on mental strength
• 22:37: Prosperity breeds depression
• 24:08: Parenting with privilege
• 25:15: Role of sports in parenting
• 28:21: Emotional and physical strength in manhood
• 29:38: Conclusion on mindfulness and judgment

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the conversation between Gary Vaynerchuk and Nick Cannon, providing valuable insights into balancing work and mental health, redefining masculinity, and fostering meaningful parent-child relationships.

Transcript

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

This is the GaryVee audio experience. Hey, everybody. Actually, if you're a really hardcore listener, you know, I never do this. I'm sorry to be jumping in the middle of the podcast. If this podcast has ever meant anything to you, please go to Spotify or Apple right now and leave a review. By the way, even if you give me a one star review because you think it's shit, I respect it, but just leave a review, an actual review, four or five stars, and the actual details of why. Yeah, that would mean something for me. So thanks. Now back to the podcast. Social media's like alcohol. If you don't know how to handle alcohol, it's real bad. We banned that shit in this country. That's how bad. It got at 1.100 years ago. But a nice glass of fucking cat brunet with a steak is proper. Same with social. If you're fucking using it to like the National Enquirer or like the fucking neighborhood gossip, you're gonna fucking not get anything good out of it. But by the way, there's clips from this podcast that are gonna go on social that some 17 year old guy, it's gonna change the course of their life in a positive. Yeah, so what about that?

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, I wanted to create a space for men to be able to be vulnerable, to be able to talk about, you know, their emotions, but also a space for healing and having some conversation. A lot of times that can seem taboo because some of our views and, you know, something to combat those ideas of like toxic masculinity and terms that narcissist. All these terms that are thrown at us specifically at males and males in a sense of like, wanting to be like entrepreneurs or wanting to be leaders or. Alpha males can get a bad rap.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

A lot of times when just when times are good. Yeah, everybody. Alpha males get it. When times are good.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

But when shit hits the fan, I promise you that alpha male is gonna be put on a pedestal. That's just the history of life, right? The Roman Empire, Genghis Khans or like. Like people don't understand the alpha male thing, that all we're talking about is America has been the leading empire and has gone through so much prosperity that we've gotten around to demonizing alpha.

[Unknown Speaker]

Mm. Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I promise you, I love it. If China was rolling through the streets of America right now trying to throw down.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Alpha males would be number one in this place and any other part of the world.

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, I love that you say that because it really is, you know, the definition of a Man, these days, it all depends on what the conversation is about. But as gentlemen like you and I, we. We love to provide, we love to protect, we love to advise in that sense. And I feel like in times like that, those things are desired massively. You know what I mean? And if something's going wrong, even like you said, you don't matter if there's a. If there's a spider in the kitchen.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I believe in it, man.

[Nick Cannon]

Most of the time, everybody in the house is turning to dad to figure out, like, hey, can we figure this out? So at the level, like you said, where if there's a coup or a takeover in a country all the way to, like, dad, keep us safe in the house or.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Cause that's, thank God, less realistic. Or if, like, real shit, like, you know, somebody's tearing down your door.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like, again, I just think that people are. By the way, I get it. Like, we have a whole generation of people that are overcompensating for a generation of dads. You know, you look at fatherhood in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, it was a different game. But I don't blame those men. Those fucking men were coming back from World War II. Those men were getting drafted to Vietnam. Those men were the byproducts of the Great Depression. Like, those men were the byproduct of the 60s when fucking every world leader in America was getting assassinated. It was different.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

So, you know, I think that balance is hard. And I do think we're over to your point. In the framework of the combo, we have overcorrected too far, which is why I think everybody knows it. Even the last year, we're starting to get a little bit more balanced. Like, we're not beating up dudes anymore for, like, not. You know, like, sometimes you gotta, like, do shit. Like, it's okay to. Here's one that I tell a lot of my guy friends. It's okay to miss a Little League game, right? It's okay.

[Nick Cannon]

You can miss one or two.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, like, you know, I grew up in the 80s. Like, unless your dad was the coach, 99% of the games I grew up with, there was no dads in the crowd. Yeah, they're working.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like, who the fuck is free at 4pm on a Friday? Like, you know, like. Like, so, you know, I'm glad you said that, man. Cause we're checking the box. Yeah, Nick.

[Nick Cannon]

I deal with that a lot because obviously I get extra pressure because I have. So they're like, yo, there's no way he can be a present dad. I'm like. And then I find myself. That guilt hits when I do miss.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

One of the best and what is presence? Because I got all sorts of fucking father friends that I know who are like, I go to my kid's shit, I'm like, yeah, but you are. You don't give a fuck. Yeah, you're not really like, about that kid. Like, you're there. Cause you're too many dads, Too many men, too many women, too many people. They check the box and act as if.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's just not how life works.

[Nick Cannon]

That's true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like, I'll be honest with you. I don't need people being around. I need them to be around when I need them. How about that? Yeah, that's good. That's where you're going.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like, what is a father? What is a. By the way, I always talk about my mom. My most pinned comments, my biggest content's about my mom. My mom was there every day. I saw my mom, but I was so outside. She wasn't there there. My mom didn't go to all. Like. Like, she didn't. Like, she had other kids. She had a younger. I had a younger sister, younger brother. Like, we've gotten to this place where the proxy matters more than the fucking impact.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right? Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I mean, and dads. Dads need to start talking too. You said something not that financial. And this is for moms too, because now we live in a world where plenty of moms are the fucking moneymaker.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

All of a sudden, people just decided to take the money thing for granted and move on to the next thing.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

People need to speak up a little more, Nick.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

There's moms and dads out there who are working 13 hours a day to provide for kids. And then the kids are giving shine to the other parent as if that dollar figure isn't the fucking operating system of the whole system.

[Nick Cannon]

Tell me about it.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Nah, it's okay for a dad or a mom to be like, yo, just to remind your ass, I know you went and bought this shit with that parent. Who the fuck do you think paid for it? It's okay. We got to this place where everyone's like, I can't say that shit. That's stupid. Cause it's real, Nick. Why would that be bad? Why would it be bad? If you're a parent that is financially providing, obviously. And listen, you go watch my content for anybody who doesn't know who the Fuck I am. You go look at my content in two seconds, you'll see I give a fuck about feelings. I love empathy. I. I love kindness. I love compassion. I'm just not all or nothing.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

If Mama's working two jobs and Dad's sitting at home schlepping you to every practice and shopping with you. And you got that relationship. Like, we need to give mom love too. Feeding.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

Let's unpack that. Okay. That is. I actually sit in my therapist's office about that one subject matter probably more than anything.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Okay.

[Nick Cannon]

Because financially.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yep.

[Nick Cannon]

That I. The thing I hear the most.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

And even a lot of it's from outside chatter. But I've even heard it inside my own home. Is that, you know, money isn't everything.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's not.

[Nick Cannon]

But then it comes to that sense of, like, you can't just throw money at it. Money at it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think that's fair.

[Nick Cannon]

So. But in the sense of someone who is a provider. And I have the issue with, you know. You know, even the idea, oh, I get to be the Disney dad or the. Oh, every time you come around. It's fun. And we're doing this.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's fair.

[Nick Cannon]

But I don't necessarily. Because I'm working. I don't get enough.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

God.

[Nick Cannon]

I don't wanna say quality time. But it's. In that sense. We'll say, I don't get enough quality time yet. Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Let's talk about that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You're talking to a man whose father. Different circumstance. We came to America, we were dead poor. My dad worked every minute. Worked in a liquor store.

[Unknown Speaker]

Both.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

First as a stock boy, then as assistant manager, then as a manager, then he owned his own store. Listen to this, Nick. This is real talk back to vulnerability. You're talking to a man who, from the time he can remember until he was 14, slept in the same home as his father. My father and I. Cause we never went on a family vacation my whole life at that point. 1. Excuse me. Except for four days when I was 11, when my mom took me and my sister to Disney at the Holiday Inn. Slept in the same house as my father every night of my life and has almost no memories of him before I was 14. Because he woke up and went to work before I got up. And he came home after I went to sleep. And he worked seven days a week. And the only two days the liquor store was closed was Christmas Day and New Year's, ironically, a week apart. And that man slept all day. We had one father Sunday. This was this big Thing when I was 12, I went into my dad's room. It was a Sunday. Cause he didn't work that day for I don't even know what reason it was. Father Sunday. He turned on the tv, put on Black and White Tarzan, like, you know, one of those Fox 5 shows. He fell asleep about five minutes in. I snuck out of the bed, said to my mom, can I go outside and play? That was my father's Sunday. I stand here and sit here today. Spoke to my father right before I came here. Have an incredible relationship with him. Have zero resentment. Zero. Many kids could have resentment. We don't get to control how these kids are going to play out. They have their nature and their nurture. But there's many kids that have alcoholic fathers that they could forgive and many that didn't. There are many people who had narcissistic mothers. They forgave them or they didn't. We can't control everything in life. And that's become the great farce. Some of your kids are gonna admire you when they're in their 20s for your work ethic and thank you for the ridiculous privilege that they have had financially. Once they understand how the world works, other kids, positive, you know, are gonna have a different take. Be like, dad, you chose work and fame over me, right? You are gonna have your whole life to play on the yet. I think people don't understand the yet part. It's not over until you're dead. Like, we've gotta make choices, plus, we're human beings. But there's gonna be no perfect. And more importantly, and you know this outside people's opinions on your relationship with your children, that's laughable shit. And all we can do, and I think about this shit all the time, because I work a ton too, is how much can we adjust every day as you see the game change? Because our kids ebb and flow too. They change too.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

So, anyway, yeah, I'm sure you're going through it. You and every single mother or father that works a lot to provide for their family. You and every other one.

[Nick Cannon]

So what would be your advice in that sense? I mean, because you're in it to.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Not beat yourself up and to try and to have the strength to adjust. I, in the last five to seven years, have chosen kid time over work time at a higher percentage than I had prior.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Nick Cannon]

What made you make that decision?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That I felt that they were getting older. That, you know, time starts to run out, that you're adjusting to them, you know, when they're 2 and 3, they're not telling you much. When they're 7, 8, you start to hear some shit. When they're 11, 12, 13, you're starting to get, you know, and just trying to hedge, evolve, like, just trying to adjust along the way. Yeah, but beating yourself up is not gonna work. Because, you know, me and my two siblings, all three of us same parents. Me and my sister are only three and a half years apart. We grew up very similar. My brother a little bit different, 11 years younger. We all have very different relationships with my parents.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Nick Cannon]

What would be the definition of a successful parent? Like, what are. Like, how do you know, even as a father, even in your own experiences as a son? Like, we say mom or dad did a good job.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's a great ass question.

[Nick Cannon]

That's what I'm saying. Like, is it the amount of games you were at? Was it the quality? Was it the.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I don't think so. I have unlimited friends whose parents went to every fucking game. And my friends hate their parents.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Because that wasn't the thing. Like, you know what it is? First of all, it is the hardest game. Because there's not one person on earth that doesn't walk around that doesn't judge their parents for some shit. There's nobody in this room right now behind the cameras that when I say that, can't think of some shit. I mean, I'll say it again. My mother is. I'm writing a book. I'm not done with it. It's the longest book I've been writing. Cause I write them in my head and, like, then sometimes jot down. It's called Perfectly Parented, where I literally am writing a book saying my parents perfectly parented me. But the punchline of the book is because of my perspective, I'm in control of that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Nick Cannon]

I was gonna say that because I've.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Got unlimited things that I could think of that they've done. Remarkable. A ton. Way more than most. I really believe that. But real talk, I can think of a lot of shit they didn't do well.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I already know a lot of shit I haven't done well as a parent. And I'm just in the beginning stages of it. So we're all going through it. My definition is your kids want to spend time with you.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The thing that I've always watched from afar, it's gonna make sense to you. Cause we got to grow up and we watched people. Right. Do kids like, you know, people who like kids want to spend time with them?

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I do. My parents. I'm going to London for this jets game. My parents tried to cancel. Dustin, you were in the room right when this happened. Well, my parents tried to cancel. They didn't want to go. And I picked up the phone and forced them. I want to spend time with them. I think that's the definition of success. Do your children, after they're 22 years old, want to spend time with you or don't.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wow.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That, I think, is the best way to look at it. I think that's merit. That's played out. That's black and white.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

Nah, that's powerful. So I would love to jump into this space. Cause I mean, it's right there. Going back to mental health and mental wellness, specifically for men, and the pressure of being successful, being a good parent, being a great entrepreneur or employee. I feel like we, especially in today's day and age, because the world is so crazy right now, that we were being extremely hard on ourselves.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Couldn't agree more. Judgment. Yes, judgment.

[Nick Cannon]

And it's coming from every space, but starts with ourselves. Yeah. How do we remedy that?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

By stop judging other people.

[Nick Cannon]

That says, so easy to say.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Let's break it down. I believe the number one way that everybody on Earth would get much happier is if they mind their own fucking business. Let me break it down for you. You like that, big man? That's some real shit. Let me break this down. I think this is gonna hit. Cause I don't hear people talk about this. We are spending so much fucking time now, unlike other times, judging everybody. We're just spending a lot of time. We got fucking two cents on everybody's life. Everyone's public now, whether they're actually famous or just some shit locally on some Instagram shit. We're spending so much time saying, she looks terrible. He fucking sucks. This. The, like, they're just. We're just spending so much time on this gossip shit that it makes us susceptible to other people's judgment. I always try to break down, why do I not judge? One, my mother wasn't judgy, which was unheard of back then for the ladies of the 80s. So I saw it. I saw a woman who just, like, didn't have judgment on others, didn't like to gossip. So I saw it. It was also my DNA. Cause my sister saw it, too, and she's got my grandma's DNA, so she's a little different. But I believe because we judge others, we then feel what that feels like. So if you aren't judging, you can't feel the judgment the same way.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The reason that we're all fucked up is that we're beating up. We're judging ourselves too much.

[Nick Cannon]

Right?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Nick, like I said earlier, if you could take the beginning of this. It's like I'm aware of certain things that I'm doing that I wish I was doing better. But I don't think I'm a piece of shit cause of it.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think I'm a fucking human being. Yeah, tryin'why. Is trying not a thing anymore? We as parents, we as grownups are always trying to be like. Effort fuckin matters, but not on ourselves. People are trying to live out here. We're trying. We've lost Grace. We don't have Grace. Fucking Grace on yourself. Grace for other people. I'm being dead serious. If we minded our own business a little more, then our shit would be a little bit easier. We're just judging, judging, judging, judging. Everyone's caught up. It's like back in the day when you left high school and you got to college and then you lived real life. You dropped those high school tendencies.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Now fucking life is high school. Everyone's children starts with fucking politicians. The way they talk to each other.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Fucking nasty. I fucking watch. I put on C Span. I think I'm watching fucking Jerry Springer. We just lost Grace. Like, I don't know. Listen honestly back to me, eating my own dog food. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I'm in my little cocoon. Y'all do what the fuck you need to do, right? I really think the reason we're beating ourselves up is cause we're judging too much. And then it bleeds onto ourselves. And then all of a sudden I don't have as many followers as Nick Cannon. I can't get the same girls as that person. I ain't got the fucking Lambo. I ain't got the clothes, I ain't got the clout. I ain't got the. Everything's everybody's fucking worried about. Everyone's shit, everyone's jealousy, envy, poison. No matter what religion you are, I promise you, if you open up your book, they'll tell you straight up, envy and jealousy is the great poison of life.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yup.

[Nick Cannon]

I'd say comparison is the thief of joy. And to be able to always just worry about what someone else.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

This dude said, somebody I knew. Lightweight acquaintance, Been with him four or five times in my life. Once on a dinner. Friend of a friend said something to me recently. He's like, you're so Lucky I said to him, I was like, unless you lived. I know him well enough. Six, seven times. I'm like, I know him. I was like, yeah, but not if you lived in my shoes. Cause you wouldn't be able to handle that heat. I'm like, you're lucky. Your life is simple.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

And that's the life they chose.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And that's amazing. And so I just don't. I don't. Like I could sit all day and say that I'm envious of people that live a very simple 9 to 5. When I look at a teacher's life from a certain perspective, I'm like, man, that's fucking good. Summer. A long day in the school is to six or five. Not bad weekends. Not really your fault. They just move on to the next year. Blame the superintendent, blame the principal, blame the fucking system. No fucking accountability. I'm like, but then if you really know teachers, some of them, they die every day in that classroom. Cause they got one kid that they want to help and they can't. Right? Like not making the financial dollars. They need to, like, keep up with their bills. This just goes to how we look at shit. I can easily look at a teacher right now. I just did it. I don't want to waste up too much time. It's the best or it's the worst. I think too many people are just choosing to look at negativity right now. Fatherhood and parenting and being a dude is in that shit right now, right?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

And going back to the mental health of it all. You know, they say the statistics of, you know, that we're in a higher state of depression than ever before. And like you said, a lot of that is probably just based off of the access and the judgment and.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And Nick, the prosperity. My man, I'm telling you, I told you this once before. History was the only class I was good at.

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I do not believe that people understand what the world has been going through the last 50 years. It's so much prosperity. Wow, bro.

[Nick Cannon]

So the prosperity breeds depression, bro.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Do you think people are gonna fucking try to cancel people for saying a word during World War II?

[Unknown Speaker]

Right?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like dudes were fucking going to Canada trying to dodge the draft in the 60s, right? Like you had 17 year olds scared shitless, right. Of getting killed in Vietnam. So they were trying to sneak into Canada. You think they were worried about how many likes they got on a post?

[Nick Cannon]

Not at all, bro.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm telling you, the prosperity, Nick. I'm telling you, the prosperity.

[Nick Cannon]

So the Prosperity has made us weaker 100%.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Do you think our. I don't think you and I think our rich kids are as rugged as you and I are.

[Nick Cannon]

And then when you bring that up, going back to parenting and fatherhood, I struggle with that as well. Because of course I want to give my children everything. I want them to have the privilege.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And experience, by the way, even if you.

[Nick Cannon]

But I want them to still know.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

What it's like, by the way, even if you didn't. Even the parents right now who've made a lot of money, who are trying to do different tactics to keep it in check, your kids are. They're gonna feel the byproduct of your life. You can't fake environment. I'm on the board of Pencils of Promise and Charity Water. These are two nonprofits that do a lot of work in Africa building schools, building wells. So I have a lot of my bougie rich friends always hit me up. They're like, gary, when you go to Ghana, can you take my son, you know, to really like, you know, show him. I'm like, yeah, I can. And thrilled to do it. I'm like, but friend, we're gonna go to Ghana for a week. He's gonna. Or she's gonna be like, man, I got it good. They're gonna see humans that don't have access to clean water. They're gonna feel crazy for a week, but they're gonna come back and you're gonna go private to Aspen and they're gonna forget in a second. You can't fake environment right? To me, my answer is, listen every. I love talking about parenting overall, but I never tell how. I think it's crazy to tell someone how to parent. My big thing is just raise good ass kids right. You're not gonna.

[Nick Cannon]

Whether they're privileged or not.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Look, they're not gonna be hungry cause they're getting fed.

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, but that's so unfortunate because it's not really unfortunate. We have the grind.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

By the way. You and I are both lucky enough. We both know if you really thought right now it's not very common. But you and I both know of rich kids or kids of famous people who actually are working hard. Yeah, it's rarer. But I know if you sat for a minute right now you're probably thinking of one or two people right now. You know, they come from extreme wealth or. Right. Prosperity. And they're doing their thing. It happens. So it's not like it can't happen. What I think is more important though is especially with People like you and I, if you're really coming from a low place financially and you get to a high place, our kids can't. You can't replicate it.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's impossible.

[Nick Cannon]

I think.

[Unknown Speaker]

What.

[Nick Cannon]

For me, that's the beauty of, you know, these athletic systems. I mean, when it comes to sports, whatever the sport is, when you can teach your kids that, you know that. Because no matter how well off you are financially, when you're on, whatever field you're on, whatever court you're on, it's all about how much work you put in.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

My guy. You were literally talking about my favorite subject. I believe sports is the most important. You can't manipulate it. It's why 8th place trophies fucked up everything. It was well intended. I get it. You don't want Little Ricky to cry when he's six. I get it. But that's not how life works. The sooner Little Ricky figures out he sucks, the better for Little Ricky.

[Nick Cannon]

Go find something he's good at 100%, by the way.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I love sports for that reason. And by the way. And obviously, Bronny bucked the trend. And obviously people got plenty of opinions about Bronny. But everybody, I think if you take away your emotion, realize Bronny's a very good basketball player. Whether he's an NBA All Star, we'll find out. Whether he's an NBA player, we'll find out. But there's a reason. Michael Jordan's kids, Wayne Gretzky's kids, like, all the greatest players of all time's kids. Mickey Mantle, like, it's really hard for that next gen. Like, we don't know. Not the best ones of all time. We got kids that are better. Like, there's been.

[Nick Cannon]

Kobe Curry's the only one that kind of beats me.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

There you go. There you go. And Dale was a beast. And obviously, you know, Kobe's. You know, Kobe's dad was a real player, played in the league. But, like, you know, Dale Curry was a specialist. He wasn't a top 10 player in the league. And so it's hard.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

No, it truly is. Like you said, we sitting here as fathers, and. And we want nothing but the best for our children.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

But don't break up, but break down best. That's okay. There's shit you and I will never understand.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah, right?

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, True.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

By the way, I sit here and talk about grind. My parents laugh. They grew up in the Soviet Union in the 60s. My mom's like, you think you had it tough? I had to go outside in the Fucking snow to take a piss. They didn't have a bathroom in their house, right? So like, you know, like, by the way, God willing, maybe your fucking kids think they had it hard cause they're gonna go out and fuckin annihilate it and make it even better for your grandkids.

[Nick Cannon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Again, this goes back to the whole part of mental health. Mental health is predicated on perspective. This is why I'm obsessed with the content I talk about and like, what I want from others. Here's my question to all this. Who makes the rules? What is better? What is balance? What is doing a good job? You make the rules, stop listening to other people. You make the rules, stop listening to other people. If you define a man like for example, we talked about this another time as well. I think fighting matters. I respect the shit out of somebody saying to me, gary, the definition of a man is not someone that can use these. And I'm like, respect? That's how you see it. But for me it is. It's a piece. It's a piece. Like who the fuck's gonna protect. Yeah, like it's a piece. I don't mean you gotta be a fucking UFC champion, but like, like I feel like it's a backbone. I feel like it's stepping up for your family. Yeah, I do. Like, if your family's getting punked, that's emotional damage.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

And it's also the great measurement too.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's a measurement.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

On the same token, I think the definition of a man is being emotionally strong. I disrespect a lot of men who get into the gutter and get into gossip and act all ridiculous, childish. I think the biggest strength is emotional strength, not fucking muscles. Yeah, but why can't both be. But why can't both be true? Why can't you be a father that both at an argument, at a dinner table, instead of getting emotional and acting a fool, be fucking calm, collect and fucking debate your point of view with respect. And why can't you also be a father? That if a bobcat goes in your fucking backyard, you're ready to fucking do something about it instead of crying?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Why can't you?

[Nick Cannon]

You should be able to.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think so. And by the way, I don't even wanna use the word should I, Gary Vaynerchuk, am allowed to think that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I don't even impose. Should.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

If you don't think that's the definition, good. This goes back to the point of this whole Thing. If you mind your own fucking business, I think your mental health will get better. I'm being dead fucking serious, Nick. I know it's an off speed pitch. I know it's a different angle than the way people are talking about it, brother. I'm fucking telling you that.

[Nick Cannon]

Wise words, great counsel.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I just think that people don't realize we're all basically Instagram and social media, which I adore, because I know how to handle it. It's like alcohol. People are like social media. I'm like, social media is like alcohol. If you don't know how to handle alcohol, it's real bad. We banned that shit in this country. That's how bad. It got at one point a hundred years ago. But a nice glass of fucking Cat Brenet with a steak is proper. Same with Social. If you're fucking using it to like the National Enquirer or like the fucking neighborhood gossip, you're gonna fuckin not get anything good out of it. But by the way, there's clips from this podcast that are gonna go on social that some 17 year old guy, it's gonna change the course of their life in a positive way. Yeah, so what about that?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Nick Cannon]

Mind your business.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's a funny concept, right? It's some shit we heard about from like grandma back in the 80s. I haven't heard it at all. This is why I'm bringing it up now. I'm not really hearing it, but there's something in my fucking stomach that's like, oh shit, this might be the fucking key that we in 2025 need. Like why? Why does your opinion on somebody's relationship matter? Yeah, and by the way, and back to politics for a second, everyone's walking around as if the way they see the world should be the rules of the audacity, Nick. The audacity to think how you see the world is how it should be.

[Nick Cannon]

How it should be.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I don't even have that. I'm pretty confident. Like I'm like that. And I couldn't mustard up the audacity to tell everybody how they should live their fucking life. That's crazy. I think.

[Nick Cannon]

So there you have it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Especially when half the fucking people don't even fucking vote, right? People trying to impose their fucking opinions and can't even fucking get their ass up in November and fucking vote, motherfuckers.

[Nick Cannon]

Well, you heard it from the great counselor himself, Mr. Gary Vaynerchuk. Man, you, you put it so plain, so simple.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think it is. I think we just decided to over complicate it.

[Nick Cannon]

We'll catch you on the next session. Like subscribe? It's Council culture.