← The GaryVee Audio Experience
The GaryVee Audio Experience
Business Advice You’ve Been Waiting For… In One 1.5 Hr Car Ride | GaryVee Backseat Q&A Pt.1
00:48:31
Loading summary
Transcript45 lines
- [00:00]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the first ever backseat Q and A. I've done some backseat Q and A's in the past. Heck, half of DailyVee was backseat Q and A, but like a sit down backseat Q and A, I'll probably have to do some phone calls or have some emergencies along the way. That's just the nature of my life. Dustin McKenzie on the team are here. And away we go. Before you listen to today's podcast, and I know there's background noise, I'm literally sitting on a plane. I want you to go to my Instagram right now, GaryVee, and add me to your favorites to make sure you don't miss any of my Instagram posts. That's what I want you to do. And now enjoy the podcast. And away we go. I'm ready.
- [00:37]
Dustin McKenzie
We have Andrea. How do you deal with toxic co workers or family culture? Like, if I have to be nearby someone I'm related to? For example, you own a restaurant together. How do you deal if they're just really difficult?
- [00:50]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Family businesses are hard. You know, like, I lived in it. I live in it. Like, my. My core business partners my whole life are my dad and my brother AJ So first and foremost, this is my number one piece of advice with family businesses, which is you're in charge, meaning whoever you are, the dad, the mom, the grandfather, the grandma, the niece, the nephew, the son in law, the brother in law, the oldest, the youngest. The middle life is about accountability. And how would I deal with it? Either you eat it because you're a C player and you're getting paid like a B player or a player because you're living a Nepo life. You point at me? No, I didn't point at you. You're not. I'm just touching your leg. Cause I'm. You know how I roll Eastern European. Let's break this down. There are certain people that are about to listen to this that are the Nepo baby, meaning they're the kid, the grandkid, and you're getting super compensated even though you're just okay, you're just average and you're getting overcompensated and you just need to eat it. You need to eat it. Like, how do you deal with it? By realizing you're a Nepo baby and you're getting paid four times more than you're worth on the open market. And if grandma, granddad, uncle, niece, nephew, brother are shitting on you, you're hating it. You just decide to eat it because you're accepting the dollar amount versus the day to day happiness number two, you're not the Nepo baby and you feel undervalued. You know, I lived this life like I was building it and felt that there was undervalued. I had the ability to do what I did. I left a lot of people gonna say, well I put in all this time and did it. No crying in baseball, no crying in business. So how do you deal with this one? You're self aware enough and you eat it and you have therapy and other outlets to make it palpable. B, you realize that nobody's crying for you and you can just leave the end. And I don't want the excuses. You know how I talk about perfection as an excuse for insecurity. I don't want to hear like but my grandma, but you know, one of my family. No, no, no. If you don't fucking love it, if it's eating you up alive, if you're dead, then you go and address it and you address it by action. So you either eat it because you're an EPO baby or you leave because you're capable of standing on your own two feet. Outside of the family business dynamic. That is the answer to the question we have.
- [03:09]
Dustin McKenzie
Emma.
- [03:10]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Emma.
- [03:10]
Dustin McKenzie
Advice for a first time leader in a first time manager role in a company that's growing fast, but it's been chaotic since starting.
- [03:18]
Gary Vaynerchuk
The reason most first time leaders fail is that they really struggle with the newfound power or they really struggle with the newfound obligation to be a delegator and a manager and a doer. Not just a doer. So many people will go through the journey of being great at their job, be promoted to a manager where now they need to lead people to do that job well at scale and they will fail because they're a good doer but a bad manager because they either micromanage and don't delegate so the efficiency for the business is not there. Meaning if I get paid 80k to do a job 50k now I'm paid 90k to manage 350 cares. If I'm not doing the manager part of 90 and I'm just working with the 50 caterers, the 3 150. That's all in my 90. If it acts like in down there at 240 you're not getting the value because we're really getting a buck 50 of value. Cause now four of us are doing the job of three and there's friction and you guys know this people tripping all each other. So you have to be a 90 up here, that makes the whole thing worth 240 and then some. If you're a good manager, getting value out of those 50s. So one, if you're a micromanager, that's not gonna work. Two, a lot of people think they've become somebody. They had a bad manager when they were down in the 50 land, they shit on that manager. They go out for drinks with their co workers and they're like, fucking Sally and Rick are assholes, right? And then they become the asshole. There are an enormous amount of employees who hate their fucking managers, who then, when they become a manager, replicate the toxic bad behavior. Because subconsciously or consciously, they're just reenacting that bad behavior. The hypocrisy of employee becoming manager to only then become exactly what the manager was is like at scale. I've seen it. My organizations. Go ahead, mackenzie.
- [05:24]
Dustin McKenzie
Why do you think that happens?
- [05:26]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Because I think people are hypocrites. I think people are not self aware, I think people are insecure. I think people are not empathetic. So they become a manager and now all of a sudden like, oh shit, my manager. Same shit as parenting. So many people listening and watching right now, made all sorts of jokes about their parents. Then they become parents. Especially as you become a little bit of an older parent. The cliche one is, and I have so many friends in this era now, is we all remember the shit we talked about our parents when we were in high school that you remember. You don't remember when you're two. Well, then when you have kids that are in high school, you're like, oh shit. Same with this manager thing. There's a million people that are gonna listen to this video or audio. Over the next decade, that will happen. Of those million people, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands have all sorts of opinions on their boss. When they become that boss, they're gonna realize shit's different. What is my advice? A couple things. One, you need to be the bigger person in every situation. This is your employee. This is, this is. You need to work for them, not them working for you. You thinking like now you're like the fucking prince or the princess and everyone caters around you and you don't do shit is the fastest way to get fired. Happens all the time, by the way. Happens all the time. Everybody's been eating shit to get to that moment to point. So first you work for them. Two, over. Communicate. Over. Communicate to the people that work for you. How are you doing? What's up? This and that. Over. Communicate. Over. Communicate. Overcome. Over. Communicate Number three, attack issues. If you see Johnny is like moping this week and has always been cheery, go in it. It's an HR function more than anything else. Number three, make sure your boss is aware of how you're managing. Make sure your boss knows, like, I'm in these people's feelings. These 10 people that now report to me, these three people that know report to me. I care about how they feel because I was just them a week ago and I know what's happening in the trenches. Boss. This is what's going on. This is what I'm thinking. This is how we fix it. Number five, notice the question in a high pass, chaotic place. This is my biggest strength. This is why I think I got to the top. You take pressure from above you, your boss, your new boss, because you're now a new manager and you stop it at your level. Your new boss comes to you and says, you know, you're a middle manager now. An upper middle manager comes to you and says, oh, fuck, if we don't hit these numbers, everyone's getting fired. You don't take anxiety and fear and just take it from you and then pass it down to your homies. It stops with you. And you may say, but wait a minute, shouldn't the boss be above me? Good at that? Yeah, they should have, but they might not. There's a lot of people in Vayner X right now that are better managers than the manager above them. It's a human game. Everyone treats shit different. And so you must stop the chaos at your level and make people underneath you feel calm. And your anxiety and your concerns and your franticness must go above you or parallel to you and not seep underneath you. The most vulnerable, the most junior in a company get the most spun up by a layoff, by a, you know, new competitor in the market, by, you know, the CEO crack. Like, you know, it's just the same old thing. Less experience, more spun up. What do you mean by spun up? Spun up means, like, sent into a tizzy and concern. Like, we. We hired like 80 new people in one office recently and we fired two people. And everyone's like, everyone's getting fired. I'm like, we hired 80 people. But like, for you two, you'd be like, you're in your career now a little bit. You're like, okay, but for someone six months out of college, if that the two people that were fired were their friends after work or their boss, they're like, ah, they don't see the forest for the trees. Got it. So that's what I would say for a new manager. Stop the chaos at your level. You work for them.
- [09:28]
Dustin McKenzie
Kevin asked Kevin, if you're trying to take your side, hustle full time, and only have three hours a day to work on it, that's literally it. Would you still suggest working on marketing activities versus sales? The thought is that if I focus 90% of my time on sales, I'd be able to go full time and then have hours to create content, brand, etc.
- [09:46]
Gary Vaynerchuk
I'm cool with that. He's saying if I work on sales, I'll get to. I'll get to monies quicker. That will allow me to then do marketing. I'm cool with that. None of my advice is universal. That's actually a tremendous thing to say in this. I'm glad it came up early. A lot of my advice is like, valid to 78%, 91%, 83%. I'm trying to go in the margins now. The stuff I talk about emotionally, not tactically. We're now talking marketing with Kevin. The emotional stuff like, don't be insecure. That's a hundred. So don't use what I just said to be like, oh, cool. I could be. I can use protect perfection as an excuse for. I can be a dick fate. Like, no. But the tactical shit marketing is, is better than sales because it's sales that come to you. His circumstance. That's the macro. That's 80% in this scenario. Kevin needs to get to that paper to be able to leave his job, to be able to go into content. Yeah, I'm cool with that. That being said, for Kevin, included, One post on TikTok and one post on LinkedIn could go viral and outflank everything he's doing in sales. That being said, it's more practical. It sounds like for him to go ham on sales, get that money up and allows him to jump and start. And then, by the way, he probably has to double down on sales that first year to like solidify it. Right, to make it stable and then he can go into marketing. By the way, it's what I did with VaynerMedia. I wasn't making content for VaynerMedia in 2009, 10, 11, I was doing sales. I wasn't really doing content until the AskGaryVee show in 14. I was doing Wine Library TV up until 11. I was MIA ing 12 and 13, and I came back in 14 with AskGaryVee show. And then we got it cooking. Now I'm also Zeroing in on one thing. Yeah, me doing marketing, wine library TV and doing Twitter and Facebook is why I was able to sell. So I started with marketing, then I did sales, then I went back to marketing. Got it. So if I didn't have wine library TV and had a million followers on Twitter, none of the Campbell Soup or the NHL or GE or PepsiCo would have hired me. So it's a little bit, you know, Saf says. Saf.
- [12:04]
Dustin McKenzie
Saf, what advice would you give to a fresh university graduate who's pressured about.
- [12:10]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Financial success to calm the down? What do you mean pressure for financial success? For financial success? Not even. Fine. Heck, I was about to be nicer. Not even financial. Like getting by in life. Let's break this down. When you are 22 years old, your optionality is bananas. It's actually remarkable. Your life is so good. Compared to someone who's 40 or 38, you have so many options. If you're 39 and you have two children and you're at home and your shit's hitting the fan and you just save money and you decide to move in with your parents, that shit is tough. That's a tough pill to swallow. The level of humility that is required to be a 38 year old who's listening or watching right now, she or he is the breadwinner to the home. Or maybe they're both working parents, which is so common now. And you look at each other's face and you're like, we need to sell our home or we need to stop paying rent in our townhouse or apartment and we need to go live with one of our parents to reset. And our 11 and 13 year old are going to know it. We may even have to leave the school district and we have a 14 year old teenager who's going to ask us why. Then we're going to say that we just lived above our means, our cash flows tight. Or. Or what's going on right now as we sit here right now, the stock market is melting, people are losing jobs, people are losing money. Like shit's hitting the fan. By the way, all my content's about to hit so heavy. The last six years, because we've been in prosperity, everybody's been crying about dumb shit, about extra luxuries. People are going to be crying about not having necessities in a minute. Like real talk, if you're a 39 year old right now and you have to move back in with your parents, with your family, fuck, that hurts. The judgment, the fucking like the explaining to your children. You're 22, you can live at home, nobody's got anything to say. You can live with five. I mean, when you're 22 years old, you can actually live in a shithole with six homies. And it's fun. Ish. Depending on how you're wired. Fun for me I get some people are bougie and they're like eh, but like gotta share a shower but like you can do that. Like this is highly not recommended. I don't want Mona to beat me up. But at 22, your body's just in a place where you can eat like shit, which means you could buy 99 cent fucking meals. You got no stress. And the only stress you actually got is ideology or delusion, like deep insecurity of keeping up with the Joneses. Like I had a combo kid, I was doing this combo and the kid's like, yeah, but Mark Zuckerberg. I was like, what? Dude was yeah, but mark Zuckerberg in 20. I'm like, Bro, you're not Mark Zuckerberg. You're not Mark Zuckerberg. Most of you are not me. And guess what? Good for you. And who gives a. Like what are we talking about here? Financial success. I surely didn't have any until my late 30s.
- [15:15]
Dustin McKenzie
You had vision of what you wanted.
- [15:17]
Gary Vaynerchuk
I had vision of what I wanted. I had, I had skills, I had patience. That's the one. I had like yes, I had talent, I had skills, I had a vision. But most of all, I had patience and an unwavering. Like an urchin. Be friends, pop that up. Unwavering urchin, one of my favorite. A sea urchin. I had unwavering non giving a fuck about what you, Dustin, Mona, Avi, my parents, the World and Jackpants 47 in the comments had to say about me and my journey. I had no judgment on anybody else's journey, which is the key to the whole thing. I had no gives a fuck about what people thought about what I was doing. In fact, and I've said this and both of you have heard this, you're in my content. People made fun of me in my friend group. I didn't work at your dad's store when I was 26, 27. You've heard the story of some of my homies going to Wall street, making a little paper BMWs, me carrying out cases. I say this a lot, I talk a lot about a lot of things and people intake it, but I don't think they believe it in the way that you both know I work. You Two know. You two know I work. They hear it, but they don't know it. The way you know is the same way that you guys hear me saying I was 28 years old and I was carrying a case of liquor out to my friend's car and I saw pity in a human's eye. Like you guys don't know that. Like that. They definitely don't know like that, but I do. And I gave no funks cause I knew where I was going. Cause I was patient. Almost everybody wants it fast. Wants financials. Almost everybody wants. Almost everybody on earth wants financial success in their 20s to prove it to others, not themselves. I play for me. You play for we. I play for me. And all of you play for them. Not even we, because we, including me, almost all of you play for fucking them. I play for me. And so what do I say to this person? Calm the fuck down. Close your fucking ears. Don't listen to the world. Definitely not your parents, definitely not society, definitely not your friends. Nobody. This is your fucking life. You're either gonna realize this at 90 or you're gonna realize it right now. Literally all I'm doing is speeding in a world where I hate speeding shit up. All I'm doing is speeding people's wisdom of actual life up. You're gonna either hear me now or hear me in a moment of despair, or hear me in a moment of prosperity, or hear me in a moment of just living life. You're going to hear me at 50, 60, 70, 80, 90. Just the sheer amount of people that start a DM to me of like, I used to make fun of you. I didn't, I didn't believe a word you said. Like, now I'm 42 and I this boom. Some guy hit me up this weekend. I was an alcoholic. Like he was telling me in an email as if I had seen all his comments on Social. I had it. Cause you know how I roll like this, fingers and ears. Goat don't hear you. Piece of shit don't hear you. But this dude wrote me an email over the weekend who was basically apologizing that he's been shitting on me. He's like, when I would get really drunk, I would lash out on you publicly because you were everything that I wasn't. People do not understand the power of envy and jealousy. It is destroying people. It is destroying people. So this 22 year old wants to be successful fast just like every other 22 year old. I get it. I wanted to be successful slow. That's so like how did you know?
- [19:01]
Dustin McKenzie
Yeah.
- [19:02]
Gary Vaynerchuk
To go like fast would be bad. I didn't know fast would be bad. I knew that. I know that fast is shortcuts. I know fast is gambling. Look, let's break it back since we got time. My obsession was to build something for my parents. I didn't see anything else. In the same way that most people that want it fast. Let me give you dudes, because I really know these. In the same way that a 23 year old that's watching right now wants it fast because he wants to use it to fly, flex, to hook up and to be the envy of his boys and to prove it to his mom or dad, who didn't think they could one of those three. In the same way, they're obsessed right now of fast. My version of that was, I'm gonna do this for my parents because my parents did right by me. And why did I have that? Because I got lucky with DNA and I got lucky with circumstance. Not everybody's an immigrant. Not everybody was born in the old country. Not everybody remembers the struggles that we went through. Not everybody had a mom that fucking deserved it. Not everybody had a dad that worked every minute of his life. And I was already at a point in my life where I didn't resent him, I appreciated him. I was born with wisdom. Not every kid wants to hang out with 90 year olds when they're 5, 6, 7, like I did. I am who I am. And a lot of good with that, a lot of shortcomings with that. But that's me. That's what I was upset. So I didn't know that Basque was bad. But I know fast is bad now because kids gamble. I don't mean like actual gambling. I mean going with crazy idea startups raising money from all their. If they're wealthy and connected from their rich friends, that goes to zero. If they're not like they blame that they can't get funding and everything's just like, the system's rigged. Everyone wants to say the system's rigged when it's not going their way, but when it's going their way and they fuck up, is the system rigged? When all These took the $2,000 check from the government that we printed for Covid when we fucking are printing cash that is not grounded in anything and they took those $2,000 and bought fucking Nikes and a Dom P bottle, is the system rigged anyway? I didn't know that fast was bad. In my 50th year being alive, as I turned 50 in November, I Definitely know fast is bad for most people. Now look, some people are all time remarkable and catch a perfect, perfect moment in time. Mark Zuckerberg is all time remarkable and caught a perfect moment in time. If mark was born 30 years earlier, he might just have a successful scale dentistry company because his dad was a dentist. He's just a good entrepreneur who happened to come at the right time. If Friendster wasn't invented, if MySpace wasn't invented, Mark might have not built Facebook. All of them, me included, will tell you that timing is a huge part of this. But you have to be good enough to take advantage of your timing. Cable television, I would have crushed, I would have known that cable was the Internet. I would be the king of cable, right? Virtual influencers. Now if I was 18, I'd have the biggest virtual influencer agency. I'd be building it right now. I'd be building right now. If I was in a different, if I was 19, I would be building the largest virtual influencer agency in the world. What's Fun about this? 2 and a half hours. I can go so deep. This is not T with Gary Vee. This is probably going to be the legacy of the, of the backseat Q and A format. I can go deep. I actually feel like I leave 10 to 15 to 20% off of every answer because of timing. So I hope I'm even like talking myself into going deeper on these next follow up questions. But the 22 year old that wants to be successful fast is in these foundational bricks. They are doing it for everyone else because if you're doing it for yourself, you're more guaranteed to get successful slow. That's it. Actually, I'm so happy I got it. There it is. When you want to do it to impress everyone else, whether it's noble, your parents, whether it's, it's deeply toxic, your parents again, your parents both thought you were losers. That's going to make someone want to win. I was the reverse. Your parents think you're the best. You want to, you want to help them, right? Cliche for guys, the opposite sex have fun. Like that's what guys see. They're like, I want to take a private jet with a, a 10 and go to St. Barts. Like, I know, like you know, and with a million dollar, like they want that life, they don't realize. Like, sure, that's great. But like, is it soulful? Is it like, like, is it like, is it deep? Like why are so many people that have that life miserable as drug addicts, suicidal? Like sounds like, it's not guaranteed. Like, do, do, do it the right way. If you do it for them, you want it fast. If you do it for yourself, you want it slow. I'm sorry to be jumping in the middle of the podcast, but the truth is everybody else is getting people to review on Spotify and Apple and like the vaynernation does none of that. If this podcast has ever meant anything to you, please go to Spotify or Apple right now and leave a review. By the way, even if you give me a one star review because you think it's shit, I respect it. But just leave a review, an actual review, four or five stars, and the actual details of why. Yeah, that would mean something for me. So thanks. Now back to the podcast. I think the reason I'm not flashy is very similar to the reason I was willing to do what I did from 22 to 34. I just don't do shit for them. Not for their validation, for their benefit. People sometimes like, what do you mean you do everything. You're so public. I'm like, look, I'm not looking for their accolades, at least not for what I've done. I'm looking for the accolades of what I've done for them that they then did for themselves. That feels real. I don't want you to admire me for, like, my companies. I want you to admire me because I really gave you something that you did it with that and now you're happy and you're thankful, right? Moan. When we were this weekend, we were at that diner, at that restaurant for brunch and that lady came to me and she was like, I don't want to interrupt you. We had a family thing going on. She's like, but you had a real impact on me and my husband. And then she saw, she was like, no, no, like a real, real impact. I didn't get into it. I was family time. I wasn't gonna do it. But like, I just think there's a lot of incredible people listening and watching right now who, with a couple of tweaks, can live a better life by impacting people in a positive way, which then will come back to them in a positive way. And I believe more people are capable of doing what I do and it's in them. But they get strayed away and they go to the dark side. And I want to be Yoda to everyone's emperor. If you're putting out cheap shit, you're going to have cheap fans, you have cheap interactions, and it's going to not Last long.
- [25:38]
Dustin McKenzie
I have one here. It's a bit full on.
- [25:43]
Gary Vaynerchuk
It's full on?
- [25:44]
Dustin McKenzie
Yeah.
- [25:44]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Okay.
- [25:45]
Dustin McKenzie
Do you want to go there?
- [25:46]
Gary Vaynerchuk
I want to go there.
- [25:47]
Dustin McKenzie
Okay. So no name, but the username is no name.
- [25:50]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah, it's a full on. Turn.
- [25:52]
Dustin McKenzie
Mcgirt.
- [25:53]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Terp. Mcgirt.
- [25:54]
Dustin McKenzie
The username.
- [25:54]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Okay.
- [25:56]
Dustin McKenzie
I've waited my whole life to take over my parents multi million dollar bakery. They're heavy into gambling and can't stop. So they're just lingering while making me do all the work and not getting the credit for the most part. It's an I can't outshine the king type of situation. My pops is a narcissist and so is my mother. I'd open up my own in a different city, but they are almost ready to retire. However, they know they can't because of their gambling addiction. I can't leave and open up my business because they need me. Do you have any advice?
- [26:29]
Gary Vaynerchuk
What's crazy because this touch so heavy on the first question. This is a more detailed version and I love that you asked it because the first one was a little more broad. This gets real deep. And like, what I think is amazing about this Q and A session is that, like, when I use my example of like, your mom is toxic. I don't go into like, both your parents are gambler. Like, this is perfect. This is why this is fun. So thank you. Look, I think, though, I think this is a different nuanced question and I'm so glad that people are going to be able to hear it because somebody might be in the exact same situation. Or instead of gambling, it might be alcoholism. Or instead of gambling and alcoholism, it might be spending. Their parents are just shopping and traveling. So it might make it more real for someone. But the answer is the same as the first one. The answer is very simple. They're in charge. They will never know if they jumped off too soon. So, for example, if I go on to say what I'm about to say, leave, leave, go, do it. Because I think just the trauma and the emotional baggage is worth it, even if you do financially less than inheriting. Also, I'm not so sold that they'll ever get off the payroll. Like, a lot of people in this situation are like, they're about to leave and they stay for another nine years. And so he's just wasting another three, four years before he realizes that, Right? But to me, what I want him to hear or them could be she or others, is you'll never know, for example, in this situation, if they leave. And then their parents are like, oh, I'm retiring a year later. And they give it to, like, the cousin or they sell it. He'll be like, gary Vee gave me the wrong. Not true. If you stayed, they might have not left. If you leave, they're going to be out because they're stuck, or they're going to go back and work in the business, or they're going to find some other chap, like a manager or a niece to come and play your role. So I want this person to know. They wouldn't know anyway. There is no right answer. They leave now. That plays out that way. They don't leave. They never know. And I do believe if I'm reading this question right, as long as they stay, the parents are staying, given the circumstance. So he has to play a game of chicken. Tell them you're leaving. Make the actions like, fly to Cincinnati and look at a location. Like, act as if you're playing a game of chicken to try to get them to bluff so that they would view it as, well, let's get our son or daughter to make some sort of deal with us so we get some monies versus they're leaving and we know we can't or don't want to run this anymore, and it's going to go to zero. And then most of all, if you have double narcissistic parents, they're probably going to call your bluff. So not only do I need him or her to act as if they're leaving, I need them to be prepared to leave. So you really want to inherit it? Because it sounds like you put in the work to inherit it, but you've got to be mentally prepared to leave. Look, some may listen to this and be like, man, poor person's in a tough spot. A lot of other people that have nothing to inherit are like, fuck this kid. Nepo baby. Life is how you see it. By the way, if you're one that always is like Nepo baby or Lucky or any, you're not seeing it well. Like, weaponizing envy and jealousy from the perspective of your position is why everyone's unhappy in life. It's insane what happens when you actually just decide to be happy for everyone that has it good and to be compassionate, sympathetic and empathetic to everybody that has it bad and just kind of be neutral about all of it. It's a level of detachment from one's own self interest that most people are never able to get to spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Bro Candle Co. Bro Candle company Yeah. Love It. I'm fired up already. Let's go, bro. Candle crow. I want to buy some candles already. All right, go ahead.
- [30:40]
Dustin McKenzie
Having a debate with my brother. I'm putting the work in on social. Social media, believing it's not just luck, but an element of skill and consistency required. He thinks it's pure luck. So my question is, is going viral pure luck?
- [30:52]
Gary Vaynerchuk
No, viral is not 100% skill. Otherwise I'd go viral every day. But it's definitely not pure luck. Otherwise, like, what are we talking about here? Like, There's a reason Mr. Beast and I and others, like, are successful and consistently successful. What have I just been lucky for 20 years? So I think both of you are right, but you're more right because you're choosing optimism and he's choosing cynicism. Anybody who weaponizes luck in life is really interesting position where they have to really self reflect and ask themselves why they think that. Now, I don't know the dynamics here. By the way, the brother that's asking the question could be in the wrong. He might be not working that much, not working that hard, and is like posting twice a day on social, kind of putting in three hours of real work, even though maybe 10 hours are eaten up. And other bro might be making the candles, running the ops, running the finance, running the bucket, management, like doing like 10 hours of real work and might have some sort of feelings. So let's not jump the conclusion. Conclusions again, as they always say, there's like two sides to the story and then there's the actual truth. But to answer the question directly, not the underlining question that I can smell in the question, virality is not pure luck. It is also not pure skill. Ish. You have to have the skill to put yourself in a position to be viral, including if you go viral for something silly, you had to have the skill of humor. Like, why do we continue to diminish people's things? I do not judge what the consumer values. If they value attractiveness, I do not judge. I understand. If they value humor, I do not judge. I understand. If they value information, I do not value. I understand. If they value communication delivery capabilities, I do not judge. I understand. Like I. If you are a human, this is actually a very important moment in the entire thing. If you are a human being that shits on a piece of content or a human being that has gone viral, you are very likely deploying a massive level of jealousy that is suppressing your ability to have the same thing happen. Instead of saying like the hop to a girl Is like an idiot and this is fucked up. Why don't you understand what it means? Like, what does it mean that like sexual innuendo, jokes over index and society. What does it mean? I'll give you an example for me. Does it mean that. Let me use a good one. Does it mean that sexuality and sex is a foundational human characteristic, animalistic characteristics that is a universal understanding that, you know, makes both sexually expressive parts of the world or sexually. I mean, I don't think a lot of Americans realize how sexually prude America is compared to most of the world. Is a lot of the world's problems created in our relationship with sex as human being. I would say there's a lot of deep shit to what I just said. I feel like I got a lot of huhs or aha in this answer. But like my framework when I see stuff go viral is why. And I want to go deep, not surface. I want to get in there. Most people are like, that's stupid. This is silly. Fuck her. This is garbage. That's funny. Haha, cool, silly, blah. It's like people go into like dumb shit. Never had a moment where something did get popular and you yourself just was like, I don't get it. I don't get a lot of things. I get that part. I get the part that I don't get a lot of things. The audacity and lack of humility, Dustin, of a human being saying I don't get it and thinking that means it's true is one of the most laughable behaviors in society. Who the fuck do you think you are? You're the composition of 8 billion people's interests. I get that. My opinion doesn't matter.
- [35:09]
Dustin McKenzie
It's so funny because have you heard the term what about ism?
- [35:13]
Gary Vaynerchuk
What about ism? I have not heard that yet.
- [35:16]
Dustin McKenzie
It's like this phenomenon online where people see a video and think that it needs to be catered to them. It's like, what about me? Like, yeah, I don't get this, but what about me?
- [35:27]
Gary Vaynerchuk
I don't like when we create new words like imposter syndrome is insecurity. What about ism is fucking audacity and lack of humility. I don't need to make a new term for it. You motherfuckers who are listening and watching. Almost all of you are deeply grounded. By the way. I'm a human being. Of course I have audacity and insecurity, but my levels like in the same way some people are just fucking diesel and 0% like, I'm fucking deep on this one. It's my superpower. I don't need. What about ism coined I need. I know that most people are unhappy because they're audacious and lack humility. And they don't see it in me because they get the version of me that seems convicted confident. But what makes me behind the scenes, like really operate is my humility and curiosity. Like when I see humble hedgehog, right. And curious crane, like in Veefriends. I'm much more attached to that than conviction. Cockroach and confident cobra, even though I like those characters too. I'm a mix. But people are lacking humility, which is why they don't have confidence. Tough to get to pure confidence. People call it ego. Ego's insecurity disguised as confidence. True confidence's foundation is humility. Why would I care what people think? Of course I'm not the right cup of tea for most. Of course most people don't think I'm the best looking. The smart. Like people have different flavors, different tastes. Like, what the fuck's the matter with everyone? Your audacity is eating up your life. Almost everything I don't get, I get that's the way it's supposed to be. And I get excited about my curiosity to figure out. I get everything because there's only 13 things I may not get in the nuance, but look where I went with the haktua thing. I went to core like depths of humans, relationship with sexuality. There's only 10 things. There's only two things, good and bad, light and dark. Then underneath there's 10, 15 things that represent that. And that's why everything's easy for me to read. Show me a human, let me audit their parents, where they grew up, in what era, and I'll tell you who the fuck they are. Simplicity is what's complicated for most. Shit's simple out here. You take it all the way to the bottom of like just care about the health and well being of the people you love and fucking. If you can go all the way there, you will skip and whistle through life. Everything you add on top of that will fuck you up. How do you think we got to a place of complicated over complicating everything? Materialism has really hurt people. We've lost our way with valuing stuff and achievement over family and community, which is, you know, people find that so, you know, I love collecting, I love. But I don't. It's not. It's like it's my hobby, not my life, my work. Is my hobby. I do not get myself validation from my professional career. I just do not. You see, you know how I play basketball? The does that pick up game mean. Means nothing. Yeah, right. I go harder in playing a pickup game than I do in running my companies. It means more to me.
- [38:46]
Dustin McKenzie
But why? Like why?
- [38:48]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Because it's. I, I'm very passionate about. I love it and I'm not in control in business. I'm passionate about it, but I'm in control. That's why I want to buy the jets. So I can just take control of this thing that's pissing me off. I also believe that if you care about things that are silly, it's actually very healthy. I'm very hot on a thesis. How do you define what's considered silly and not silly? What's not silly is like politics is not silly because it affects people. Yeah. Sports is silly. Is work silly? I think work is. And this is why I'm treading lightly because you see where I was about to go. Like everybody has to define it. I think living within your means is not silly. Like while I'm on this tangent, let's get to the punchline because we're going pretty deep here. Everybody on earth gets happier if they live within their means. I think the credit card has a chance to go down as one of society's biggest vulnerabilities like in history. You know, it's a new invention. Yeah. I've only been chilling with the credit card for 50 years. Like I think the credit card is. Again, it's not the credit card's fault. It actually could be remarkable if you know what you're doing. I just think most people don't know what they're doing. I think people don't live within their means. That's why I always attack the American dream of owning your house. I love it. Fine, it's an asset, I get it. But people don't play it right. Everybody maximizes their deposit, gives them no cash flow. Anything tweaks off. Now they're living paycheck to paycheck. This is why I attack fancy cars and watches. Kudos to all the Big shout out. Big shout out to all the, all the gangster entrepreneurs who have built something sustainable that allows the dove four to five hundred thousand dollar watch. And they don't even think about it the way most people think about buying a five dollar, you know, soda. I worry about the people that bought it. That if God forbid something gets up or they're get quich thing get quick rich thing gets up they have to sell that to a pawn shop and lose 80%. Like it's nuanced. Live within your means. Have four lambos if that's within your means, easy peasy. And you like them. I live that. I buy very expensive pieces of cardboard. I would argue most more people universally think that watches and Lambos are better than trading cards. Too many people don't live within their means. That's what's killing. So is a job, silly. If you're living deeply within your means, it can be you got tons of savings, you don't need a job for five years. If you guys. I don't know your situation. Both of you had 10 years worth of salary saved. My intuition is you'd be less concerned about losing your job or stressed about it because you would have optionality. I think people do not realize how much money they spend on how many things during the course of a year and how much it is gone. Like people don't think about savings. Savings and everyone's like inflation and we got by the boomers and this no accountability. You know what the boomers think? The boomers think like I didn't go out to eat every day, we cooked at home. You know what the boomers think? They're like we didn't have seven purses. I had one purse for nine years. I think people, some people would argue life is short. So I'm just going to do whatever I want. Then stop complaining. You picked your short path. Shut your mouth. By the way, on the record, you can do whatever the you want. Don't complain. By the way, a lot of people are right for their individual light. Right? Like man makes plan, God laughs. Somebody out there decides to live. Burn a. Burn it to the ground like a hundred thousand dollar jet. Great enjoy, in debt, great enjoyment. Live their life. And they were destined to get hit by a car and die at 41. They played it right potentially. It also depends if that's where you get your joy. I can tell you that's not where I get my joy. I know a lot of people do and that's awesome. But look, I get my joy of sitting courtside at a nick skate that requires money. Again, we all are doing it different. I think everybody can do everything if they shut their fucking mouth. Almost all my content is based on people that talk. I would argue my whole framework is about complex complaining. I think everything's cool if you don't hurt anyone and you don't complain. You can do whatever the you want. And if you're complaining I'm assuming you're upset. You know what I complain about? I don't want to go to the gym. And guess what? I don't like it. So complaining comes from a place of unhappiness.
- [43:28]
Dustin McKenzie
I was gonna ask like, how black or white are you on complaining?
- [43:32]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Like, I'm black and white. But that's not like, I think that's where we're about to go. Like, listen, I was raised in a household that demonized the fuck out of it to a point where I think it went too far. Then you start getting into not sharing like real life shit.
- [43:45]
Dustin McKenzie
Yeah.
- [43:45]
Gary Vaynerchuk
So I think there's a fine line here. Like, I am concerned about that part. But like, yeah, I'm visceral to complaining. Like, I think sharing your struggles is healthy therapy. It's how you form a good relationship. Real candor. I think that's different than comparison complaining. And I think that's why everybody's so upset. Because now people think they're not in charge of their lives. They literally think that Joe Biden and Donald Trump are their life in America. Stock markets collapsed last, right, several days. Warren Buffett sold all his stocks a couple weeks ago. Remember I mentioned it? I'm like, this is the most historically correct guy of in game. We could have all just followed. I made a reference to Dustin about it. It was on Twiggy, it was on Twitter. Let's clip it. As a matter of fact, there's a lot of indications that the economy might be crashing. Warren Buffett just took all his money into cash. He's usually right. So now back to accountability. Literally right now. Do you understand McKenzie's how many people right this second? Because we're in it as we're filming everyone. This is the Monday after, like all this like tariff stuff. You could have sold all your stock. You would have made a fortune. Warren Buffett can rebuy all the shit he sold for make a fortune. You could have. I'm not even following public markets and I was aware that Warren did that. I'm like, maybe I should do that. Whose fault is that? Self accountability sets you free. Sets you super free. It's all your fault. And the second you realize that life becomes phenomenal and to the counter that yes, there is things that happen. Like, was it your fault that you crossed the street when that truck came? I guess. I mean you cross the street but like I get it. Like some of us are born with genetic. Somebody who was born right now into the single most poverty stricken part of our world. Of course there's things in life. But if you decide that you are fully not capable of getting out of it, well, then it's a wrap and the world's got to change its tune. That's why I get so mad at eighth place trophies, because then those kids don't think it matters. And when you don't think it matters, then you don't think you can. And when you don't think you can, when adversity hits, you actually think suicide's the right option. This shit's deeper than people think. And people think it's like, no, no, no. They disguise it, are like, we need. Unless you're a deeply evil person who wouldn't want it to be okay for everybody? Like, I get that. Like, I'm so deep into that. But where does self, like reliance on creating that, that start and where does it stop? And it's always grounded in wealth. And they're like, why are rich kids like the biggest drug addicts and the biggest alcoholics? Like, money is not the variable. There's just so much to it. We got to get back to. Got to get back to community, man. I think it's so much better when you, you know, it's my favorite part of being friends, watching these people build a community. It's so cool. That's why I love sports community.
- [46:38]
Dustin McKenzie
It's funny because. Because my. My family are really big into sports, and I grew up in a house where sports was always there, and I just don't have that. And sometimes I look at my mom and my brother and I'm like, I wish that I cared because they seem so much fun.
- [46:51]
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah. And it's nice for them. Right? It's nice for them. But by the way, there's other things. There's. There's religion, which brings so much community so wonderfully. Everything is good and everything is bad. Ready? Let's break it down. Religion, such a great source of community for so many weaponized by others to kill. Sports, such a good sense for community for some leads to their gambling addiction, which leads to their downfall. For others. Right. Wine, such an incredible thing for community. And joy in collecting and learning. And escapism for some enables their alcoholism and ruins them. For others, this absolutism is everybody up, my friends. None of this is real. This is all just about you. Until you start looking at you, working on you, fixing you, hacking at you, understanding you, loving you. It's all you. Everybody's about them. Politicians, other religions, other countries, other genders, other races, other sexual orientations, other income levels. Other, Other. Them, them, them, them, them. Your life is about them, which is why you're unhappy, which is why you're not fully fulfilled. You get right with you, and then once you get right with you, an amazing thing happens. Then you start loving them. Then you start wanting to help them. Let me do a break real quick. We'll be right back, everybody. Just going to check. Make sure there's no fires. Make sure you tune in tomorrow at 5am Eastern Time to catch the second part of this incredible backseat Q and A. See you then.