← The GaryVee Audio Experience
The GaryVee Audio Experience
How To Say No, Communication Techniques & Branding | #AskGaryVee 335
00:32:46
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- [00:00]
A
On this episode, Seth steps in for India. We're still trying to find her, and we answer a bunch of hi ho questions. This is the GaryVee audio experience. Hey, everybody, and welcome to episode 335 of the AskGaryVee Show. We're going old school. There is some variable differences. Seth is now India. Stunwin is nowhere to be seen. But Drock and Sid are still here, so I feel cozy and I'm excited to do the show. All the questions today come from the app HiHO, where I've been really fascinated by their platform. I started really digging into it, and then I decided to get some advisory series and invest in it. A lot of you have been using it. I think it fits the way that people are doing Q and A in the mobile world. So I decided to do an episode using that format. Seth, you're allowed to talk on the show. I know you might be not sure what you just said, but let's get into the show. Hey, Gary, I know it's really important to maintain your energy and focus on the things that are important. So how do you maintain relationships but also say no to give yourself the energy to do and pursue the things that you really need to do? No. It's a great question. I'm not great at no. Ironically, literally yesterday was Monday, Sunday night, or Monday. I started to feel a lot of pressure. I have, which is kind of rare for me. I have a lot going on at Vayner X Land. Our team, who I'm hanging out with right now in general, is probably in an interesting point of transition because I've been incredibly passive by nature with the GaryVee content. Everyone's trying to figure out our way. And there's 36 other things. I was thinking about my calendar over the next eight weeks and how bad I am at saying no. People need help. I love karma. I love karma. Which means that you're saying yes to a lot of things that don't make sense. And so couple things. One, it's incredibly easy to say no in the way that I think you're asking. The question. If I can flip for you on stage, could you offer me an internship? No. The reality is, if somebody's asking you for something, even though it's an important relationship, no different than kind candor. There's a way to have compassionate, explanatory no's. Can I interview you on my podcast? No, but I'll make you a promise.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You get to 100 episodes and I'll do episode 101. Thank you. If Drock, who I'm very close to, asks for something, I can be compassionate that he wants to work on this project right now. I can explain to him that I'm in a real mess these next 8 to 12 weeks and then say no. That no is gonna land a lot better than if I'm just saying no. I think that what we miss in society a lot is the nuanced energies and words needed to deliver the package. Candor was a struggle for me. Like I Talked about in 12 and a half, once I put the word kind in front of it, that package to the delivery of the message allowed me to be better at it. Compassionate, empathetic, explanatory. No's, I think are incredibly effective in the way that you're asking the question. Hey, Gary, I'm a real estate agent. I want to make a YouTube channel. Should I make one or three? I want to interview local business owners. I want to highlight what I'm doing just in my process, and I want to highlight the city and all the features it has. Should I make one channel or three? Answer's one. I really believe that. I think fragmentation. We've had fragmentation. We've had two in the past. Fragmentation's difficult, especially with the way that algorithms are going. I do believe that TikTok was a monumental change in the social media landscape. Drock, if you can point up there, up there, Drock will show you Tumblr stock. I invested in Tumblr many, many, many moons ago because it was built on the interest graph for Everybody in their mid to late 20s, early 30s. This is gonna make sense to you. Tumblr was Special back in 2008. 9, 7, 10, because it wasn't like who you followed, it was things you were interested in. And that's why I found Tumblr to be incredibly special. And if I was making videos like this back then, I might have even talked about Tumblr and as a better concept than Twitter and Facebook, which might have seemed historically wrong in the 2000 and twenties or 2000 and tens called 2010 to 2020. But the reason I jumped on Musical Ly early show, the clip of Musical ly stars on AskGaryVee. Many years ago, on this episode, we talk musical Ly with musical Ly celebs. The reason I jumped on Musical Ly early, which later got bought, but was really, in essence, the American TikTok. And then there was an acquisition. The reason I always believed in TikTok was because it was around interest. Right. Your first video might get 4 million views, you have no followers. I have 13 million followers on TikTok but can put out a TikTok that gets only 30,000 views. The next one can get 2 million. I always believed in that. And that's kind of where I see the world going more and more. I think that because of that less destination, less going to someone's page, but seeing what's in someone's feed allows you to have all three different subject matters stick on your channel. And I think that's what we're gonna be seeing more and more. Just like I used to embed embed the YouTube and Viddler videos from YouTube and Viddler on winelibrarytv.com because we hadn't been used to going to social networks, we went to people's destination websites to consume a video. I think the same thing's happening within the micro of social media. I think we now can have 4, 5, 7, 12 different things inside of our channels. Cause the algorithms are now going to be more focused on what, what consumers are interested in versus who they follow.
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This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more@accenture.com Spotify
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A
we're sharp this morning, Sid. We're sharp. Gary Veep. What is one, two, or maybe even three conversation techniques that you use to try and get on the good side of all the people that you're communicating with? Not necessarily trying to get something out of it, but. But how do you just go about sharing that love with people from the get go? You know, brother, it's not a technique, it's an intent. I don't have one, two or three techniques. I just have my intent. My intent is to bring value to the other person. Thus every action comes from that. The actions, the techniques, the concepts come from the intent, not the reverse. So this one comes very natural to me through my content that I've been incredibly intellectually generous with for 15 years, to the interactions I have with my team, to the way I work with my clients, to everything that happens in my life. When you have the intent to do good, which by the way, as a human being, you're not always gonna deliver 100% on your intent and that's a real reality. But the technique is at the core, the seed of your actual intent. If you're actually there sitting and talking to somebody and you want to bring them value, get on the good side. There's only one way to get on the good side, to be good. You like that one, Seth? Like that. Hey, everybody. Hope you're enjoying the podcast right now. Make sure you follow the podcast. That's why I'm interrupting. Let's keep going on this show, but follow the podcast. It'll make my mom super happy. Mic drop at the end. Hey, Gary, thank you so much for this opportunity. I'm a therapist and spiritual coach. Here's my question. Me too.
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B
I built up pretty sizable audience. How do I increase engagement?
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I'm mostly on TikTok and Instagram. Thank you. Increasement of engagement comes from non scalable behaviors. Let me say it one more time for the kids in the back. Increased engagement only comes from non scalable behaviors. Point number one, reply to every comment you get every time for the rest of your life. I did that for the first five years of my career before it became mathematically impossible. Point number two, go on Instagram and TikTok live more often so you can actually interact more. Point number three, do something like the AskGaryVee show, where if people leave comments, extract them and do a show like this, which will then show people that you're actually listening to their comments, which will engage that audience to compel them to do more engagement. Engagement is the hardest thing to earn. Engagement is the best thing to earn. Engagement takes work. Most people think the work is done once you post the content. To me, that's the beginning of the work process. On your way up. Nadine. If I'm interested in something and I lose interest very quickly when I've tried a bunch of things, especially that, it's true. It stresses me out because I feel like I'm never going to find my true passion. What would you advise me on that?
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Thank you.
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A
It's a great question. My perspective on this is it's no different than kissing a bunch of frogs until you find your prince. No different than dating or friendships. You know, all of us at this point watching this video have gone through friendships and potentially relationships. And the reality is some new kid moves in fourth grade, you think you're gonna be friends. The first couple days are good, and then the third day she or he shows you that they're not a nice person and you walk away. Which fine. No different than interests and passions. You Know, the reality is, is that I went skiing once back, you know, 15 years ago and it was fine. I kind of liked it. I was surprised I was decent by the third day. But it wasn't a passion of mine and it's not something I want to allocate instead of going garage saleing. That's okay. You're also extremely young. And the reality is is that I wouldn't beat yourself up or over judge yourself just because you didn't fall in love with cooking or being a yoga teacher or being into concrete manufacturing. The reality is you still haven't. That's awesome. There's nothing wrong with that. You're getting judged by people who've settled. This is an incredibly important point in our society. Normally the people that will cast judgment on someone who's still trying to explore are people who themselves settled without exploring and are subconsciously deploying Misery Love's company just to give you context of what just happened that just sucked the air out of the room with my team behind this camera. The because it's such a profound point that I've not really made this articulately and it's very important for all of you if you continue to be fighting to find your happiness and you find yourself getting judgment from your inner circle, I promise you, many of them just gave up and they are envious and subconsciously they're good people. These are your parents, these are your best friends, these are your siblings. They're not intending to be mean, tear you down, stop you conform you into settling like they did. But that's exactly what they're doing so that there'd be no confusion. Your inner circle society is incredibly, subconsciously interested in you conforming. Don't. Hi Gary, this is Denise from New Jersey. I have a commercial company here and
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as much as I post, I feel
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a little almost guilty with what's going on in the world posting. How do you balance that as far as being considerate and not making it
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about you,
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but still getting your business out there? Thanks, bye. It's a tremendous question and my team here knows because a lot of them are newer and they got to see it in real life this last weekend, you know, as the tensions in Ukraine and Russia, you know, went higher. It was me in my team thread, me in the befriends thread that said slow down. Like this is just not the time as much as we're putting love into the world. And I do believe that the message that we put out through the lens of business, but the deeper message is incredibly powerful during these times. It's also not very obvious to the 99% that are watching this what I'm actually doing. And so it sits in the context of entrepreneurial and business content, which I feel is inappropriate. And then you find your way. I've canceled three three Twitter spaces this week, as Sid knows. I did one because I felt in that moment maybe it was the right thing. You go with your gut, you do the best you can. It's back to the intent thing. I think there's been many times that I VaynerMedia's clients, from my dictation at the top, have paused content because it does feel tone deaf. It's really hard to say, hey, buy my album when we're on the precipitous of a real war in Europe with a nuclear state. It's tense. At the same token, living in constant fear is not scalable either. I've done a lot of reading in the last month, ironically around how people functioned during World War II in places that the war was going on. And it's fascinating. It's the human spirit. You try to. You can't just dwell 24 7. Otherwise you're in a vegetal state and so you find your way. The fact that you're even asking the question means you shouldn't post because it's already on your mind. And that would be my answer to everybody if it's even crossing your mind. Maybe I shouldn't post then. You shouldn't always go with that. Your intuition is incredibly right. Don't let your logical need for something at that moment take over. You know, always lean into your intuition if you're hesitant to post. Hey Gary Vee, my main question that I want to ask is how do you find and pursue your passion after like a big loss in your life, say like a family member or very emotionally impactful moment? I'm a big believer that the world is doing a bad job and not allowing people to grieve when they're are events that I'm assuming are happening here, my friend, which I'm so sorry for. I don't think the world does a good job on allowing to grieve. For example, you would think me, Mr. Rah Rah positive, go go go happy. Look on the bright side, would be the first person to overwhelm you when something like that happens to be like, no, it's okay, they want you to keep going. They're looking down and they wouldn't want you. Like I feel like I on paper look exactly like the Person that would be at the forefront of the no, let's start the rest of your life and they're looking down at you and they love you. Which I have those thoughts, comma, at 46 years old with the gray hair is. My belief is that we need to collectively, as 8 billion people, create a better conversation around grieving. I really do. I, for instance, have feel no pressure on getting back to work. When I have a moment like that happen in my life. I really don't. I will grieve whether, because I haven't been through it, it might take me an hour. Cause I could see that knowing my chemicals and it could take me four months. And I can see that because. And by the way, let's all call a spade a spade. The circumstances also are a major variable. Like how did you lose someone? Is it a tragic, ridiculously unfortunate accident that's gonna hit you different than a long drawn out illness? Like there's a million ways to think this through. Did you have time to reconcile it because it was a drawn out illness? Or was that even more challenging because it was like a cloud for two years? There's just so many circumstances. What was your relationship with that person? Of course, like, you know, people have parents and siblings and spouses and children and loved ones. But I don't think anybody here is confused. We have different relationships with the closest people in our lives that are different than our, you know, our friends and family. My relationship with my mother couldn't be more different than my dad's relationship with his. And so there's a lot of variables that go into this. I often find that regret is a huge driver of how someone reacts. This is why I over push people to over communicate with the people they love. I think a lot of us get into our patterns. It was easier for me to talk to my parents when I had an hour commute from New York to New Jersey and wine library for five years than it is today. I think about it daily. Like, do I feel good about how often I'm talking to the people I love? Knowing that everyone has an expiration date. My friend, the answer to the question is give yourself time to grieve. It's just okay. It's the most profound. There's two profound moments in life. The moment someone is born and the moment that someone dies. There's a lot of interesting stuff in between weddings and other things, but those are that's it at its core, that's it. And I think that they should be understood and we should go deeper into them. And I think we have to be more supportive of grieving and letting people go through it. Obviously you want to be supportive and some people get into a spiral. There's people that are more positive by nature, there's people that are more negative. So you have to. There's so many nuances to this question, but I'm a big fan of one thing, like a big, big fan. I say it a lot. I think that people judge themselves too much. I just think all of you, all of you are beating yourself up too much about things, the things you're not or, you know, my sister's back to work and doing great. Why am I sitting in this dark room sad about my dad? Because that's how you feel and that's okay. And I think we need to have that combo. Hey Gary, what are your tips for a fashion brand? Aside from making content on TikTok, what
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else do you got?
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First, thanks. First, make four organic TikToks a day. I mean it. In the 15 years of my career that I would call my modern career, but really my 25 year career actually, because it all came from email and Google, AdWords and all the things I did at Wine Library when I didn't have a penny to spend on marketing. This is all about underpriced attention. What are my recommendations? The same recommendations that always happen when you make a consumer product, whether it's a coffee, a phone, a sneaker or a fashion brand. Make a good product and get people to know about it. So what do I think? Don't take shortcuts on the product. Make less quantity but make higher quality. Like make a good product. Number two, get people to know about it by far. And there's not even anything close. Organic TikTok is the greatest opportunity for somebody that doesn't have a million dollars to spend on marketing the next best thing. Paid ads on TikTok YouTube shorts I'm very passionate about, I think is a real opportunity for arbitrage. So making YouTube shorts, networking, you know, whatever city you live in, hang out with other fashion people. Humans are the only other great moat besides media arbitrage. So one human can change your life. So if you're out at 2am in Berlin at the hot club because you got yourself in there and you meet Hans and he's the head of this, that and the other thing, like one person can change your life. That's just real talk. And so I think that that would be the other thing I would think about networking with real humans in real life especially I Think all of us are collectively pent up for that in a post Covid world. And I think that should be on strategy. But I'm not letting you get away with it. I would bet the farm that if I looked at your social media TikTok just the way you asked the question, there's no way you're doing four organic TikToks for your fashion brand a day. And the amount of people that we've seen come through these doors, aka actual doors at Vayner, but more importantly, the DMs and everything else are extraordinary. So here's your TikTok. This is Instagram. Does he even have a TikTok? Find this brand. Yeah, but like you know the one day ago. Two days ago. Two days ago. Yeah, I mean I'm just so over this Instagram. Like this looks like a high end fashion magazine. Photos. I understand what you're trying to convey from a quality standpoint. I just don't think people give a shit I just don't think people give a shit about every fucking fashion brand's Instagram looking like fucking Vogue from 1994. Cause that's what this is. And like fuck. Like people want engagement, people want other nuances. Like between all the fucking A list celebrities in the world, all the wannabe A list celebrities and every fucking fashion brand, Instagram looks like a magazine from the 80s. Like it's just not interesting. Like I'm pumped for like a quick little inspo. But like the Ralph Lauren model here that he's executing on Instagram is like, it like looks nice. It's like, okay, this is high end. I just don't think that that's what's winning. That's why street wear is really dominating high fashion. Because there's a sensibility of like some level of realness. Like I think we're fatigued. I think high end fashion brands biggest issue by a country mile is the complete and utter lack of humility and not taking themselves serious. Just something. Can we get an off speed pitch just one time? This guy has fucking. What the fuck?
- [22:08]
B
This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result, Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more@accenture.com Spotify
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A
Right, like. You got our hook. Yeah. I mean, you gotta take TikTok way more serious and you've got to tone down the. The elitism on Instagram. Hi, Gary. Hi. I've been doing YouTube videos for around about four years and under the name Dam Sam. And last night I was out and about and somewhere else. Somebody asked me for my picture. First time I've been asked that. That's awesome. People coming up and asking you for your picture. Love the show. I love you back, brother. My advice is to never, ever, ever. I took two pictures yesterday out and dinner. And the people that were with me who are close, it was the BCR group, my partners in the five. Oh Parter. That's how I have a fresh new hat. I was out with the VCR guys last night. Big shout out to the people that went to the Miami events for Fly Fish Club. I took two photos, kind of like came while we were eating dinner. So it was like more, I would say, skews a hair more towards interruption, but very sweet. The best, but definitely not out and about, actually interruption style more. But again, incredibly sweet, both groups. And the observation for Capon was he was just so happy because he's like, man, you still, after all this time, are just so happy, joyous. He's like, never lose that. And I'm like, I won't. It's back to the first question or the third question. Intent. Right. My advice on how to deal with it is to never let it not be flattering. Never, ever, ever let it not be flattering. The fact that another human being wants to go out of their way of what they're up to at that exact second, to stop and take a picture with you because you mean something to them that is profound and humbling and something that I could never understand how even the instances where I haven't loved the tone or tonality, and I'm looking at Drock because he's been there a lot of. I still don't know how to convert that into a negative. You know, I'm more compassionate and empathetic of like, I hope that person's okay or everything's good. But yeah, I like the person that was pushing you in the back the other day. Yeah, very aggressive. Drock almost got beat up. I don't. I don't. It happened early because with Wine Library TV, it's. It happened in 2006. Right. And it was weird, I think, when it first started happening where somebody like. Where like somebody thought I was cool was happening inside my wine store. So the context was weird. It was like within my own domain, kind of like. So, yeah, I don't really recall and I don't recall because it kind of goes back to the ears thing, like, because I didn't think I was anything like it's like it doesn't register. You still don't really hear a lot of that. I don't think so. Right? Yeah, I just don't think you should. You know, like I was saying to AB yesterday and we were catching up about something, I was like, it's hard for me to hear the booing because I don't hear the cheering. I'm very big on that. I think it really matters. I think it starts at a young age. I've been spending a lot of time on what we cheer for, for our children, become their framework. If we cheer that they're so good looking, they start to find value in their looks, they become vulnerable in their 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s. If we cheer for their sports acumen and like they're gonna be a pro and then they're not, they're lost at 22. Here's the scary one. If we cheer about their grades, we teach them to conform to systems that judge them every 90 days. That one scares me to no end. I will definitely be exploring that. This is the first time you've heard it. I'm in the lab working on this one. If we teach our kids to do good every 90 days by the subjective nature of a system, the current academic system, and a subjective notion of the teacher deciding them to give them an A and a B based on class participation, we are teaching them to conform to the system and then they become those humans. So I think what we cheer for. My mom cheered for two things. No, my mom cheered for one thing and then the world cheered for a thing. As a child I was booed for my sports acumen, my last acume and anything else, my look, whatever. And though my mom told me I was the best looking at all the time and then, and then. But my mom cheered when I was a nice kid and the world cheered for me when I did business, when I sold lemonade and sports cards, the world told me I was good. My mom told me I was good when I was nice to people, not because of my grades. And I'm a 46 year old, obnoxiously successful businessman who pushes kindness. I don't think that's by accident. I think for all of us, we need to think about as managers, as leaders and definitely as parents. What do you cheer for? I think Vayner has a great culture because I'm more often cheering a C suite or an SVP for how they handle the situation from an emotional standpoint, more than how much money they brought in. Hey, Gary, it's Jaydeen. I love your stuff and I'm excited about hiho. I'm new to this platform, so thank you for telling me about it. Quick, quick question. What is the number one most important thing when it comes to branding? Thank you in advance for your answer. That's a great question. Actually, the number one most important thing when it comes to branding, that people can recall what it is and the thing they feel makes them want to be associated with it. When I say brand ready, let's play on the other side. Coca Cola crest, the New York Rangers, potato chips, Adidas. When I just did that, every single person in the room and behind the camera reacted as in, I don't give a shit, or yes, or I used to like it, now I don't, or whatever it might be. That's brand. You know what it is and you have a feeling. And obviously all of our jobs that are building brands is that feeling to be positive, which is why actions matter so much in life. Because you could do everything right for 20 years and have good sentiment and take one misstep and then lose that sentiment. And I think it's really fascinating, right? That whole concept of reputation can be built, takes decades to build and can be lost in seconds. I think about that a lot. Hey, Gary. Andy Storch. I've got a book along with six veefriends and I want to get this out there in front of more people, to get more speaking gigs in front of big companies. How do I get the book in front of more people and get more
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B
of these gigs to build my brand
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and make a bigger impact.
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B
Thanks.
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A
The thing you're thinking there, Andy, is you're thinking the book properly. You're thinking, if I get the book out there, it will come and get me the speaking gigs. Clearly, with the way you are talking, the speaking gig is the KPI. I will tell you, first of all, I gotta say 6B friends, thank you and boy, am I happy for you. Comma. The answer to your question is the following. I think you're playing the wrong strategic move. I think you're trying to create a proxy to make the thing happen that you want. I think you play it a different way. Do what I did. This is literally what I did. When I decided I wanted to speak, I started looking up on Google conferences around Web2, Social media technology business and then emailed cold the conferences and said that I'd be willing to speak for free. So if I'm you, instead of trying to get the book out there with the hope that one out of every 50 people that gets the book might be involved in a conference. And by the way that's being kind. It's probably one in every 5,000 people or somehow being involved in a conference that then will reach out to you because they liked your book. I would go about it totally different. Go to Google, Search business or whatever. Conferences fit your genre. So for everybody watching here, if you want to speak about pet care, well then just search Pet Care Conference enter. I guarantee there's results team. Show me that. Pop it up right here. Let's see what happens. Search right now. I'm just curious. Pet Care conference, you can use your laptop. Pet Care conference and then just email them and say I would like to speak for free. I'll pay my way. Get three or four. Did some show up. International Grooming Conference. Yeah, there you go.
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B
Right?
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A
There you go. Yeah, there's one right here in Secaucus coming up. The International Grooming Conference. Right. You just go to their event and then you just email them and say I would like to speak at your conference and I'll pay my way. You get those three or four, right? You get somebody to film it, your sister, you don't need drock. Your sister, you know, like whomever. And then you put that on YouTube and now you've got, you've got proof on. On film, as I like to say. And so that's what I would do, my friend.
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All right.
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A
That's the episode, right?
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Yep.
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A
That was really good. That was good, right? We got to do that. Yeah, there's some. That was. Yes, it. Oh, that's right. Thank you. I forgot about that. That's fun. A little rusty. Thank you, Sid. The question of the day, why do you believe. And I want every. Look, this is very important. It's important to answer the question of the day because I'm a very simple animal. I do very well with back and forth. I like ping pong. If I get a lot of answers to this question in the YouTube or in the Instagram, if you guys decide to go long form or. I don't know how long this was. TikTok is now going long to ten minutes. This is longer than it. Thank you Drock. Mr. Captain Damper. You know, so. And what about Instagram? We can put this fully in Instagram. Yeah, good so if I get the answer to this question on Instagram and YouTube, we can 39 minutes will fit on Instagram. No, no. I want. How long does Instagram last? You can do an hour. Good. So if I get good answers to this question on Instagram and YouTube, then we'll continue to do more AskGaryVees. So here's the question. In the face of a constant barrage for me over the last three years of talking about making four TikToks a day, make as many TikToks a day, seeing examples of people putting out tweets or coming up to me like I did the TikTok and my why do you think through a full hardcore video vulnerable and self awareness lens, why do you think you are not making two, three, four TikToks a day when the land grab is so obvious for you to have success around your passion? Why do you think you are not doing it even though you've been hearing it constantly and see other people succeeding in the advice? This was the AskGaryVee show. We'll see you next time. Hey everybody. If you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention and thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.