Kind Candor and the 12 Other Ingredients of Business Success

Summary

---

The GaryVee Audio Experience

Episode: "Kind Candor and the 12 Other Ingredients of Business Success"

Date: April 2, 2026
Host: Gary Vaynerchuk

---

Episode Overview

In this candid, energetic episode, Gary Vaynerchuk sits down with a guest author and fellow entrepreneurs to discuss the core emotional and practical ingredients of business success, drawing especially from the new book, "12 and a Half". The conversation dives deeply into the necessity of emotional intelligence in leadership, the evolving nature of candor and kindness in business, and Gary's personal journey balancing ambition with humility and contentment. The discussion is packed with personal stories, practical examples, and memorable insights on how to win in business “with honey, not vinegar.”

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Business as a Relationship – Emotional Intelligence at the Core

• Business as Family/Friend:

  • Gary frames business not only as a career but as a profound relationship.

    “A lot of people that are confused about entrepreneurs, they don't realize that the business is the other family member. A business is another child, another spouse. It is. It's the output of people's passion.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (00:00)

  • He compares one's relationship with their business to friendships — emphasizing the aspect of choice and resonance (07:10)

• Emotional Intelligence as the "Advantage":

  • The guest author describes shaping the book around “13 ingredients,” most notably centering emotional intelligence as underrated, yet crucial for leadership:

    “Emotional intelligence in business is the Advantage...being kind doesn't mean you get walked all over...optimism matters, accountability, pointing a thumb at yourself versus a finger…” — Guest Author (01:53–02:49)

  • Emotional skills like curiosity, accountability, and candor are discussed as essential (05:07)

2. The False Economy of “Hard-Edged” Leadership

• Kind Candor vs. Cruel Candor:

  • Gary and the guest delve into the evolution of candor in leadership, recognizing how bluntness without compassion often creates fear, while mature, “kind candor” leads to better outcomes:

    “I started calling it kind candor instead of Candor because I saw candor for a long time as an excuse to be mean...The vessel that was delivering the candor wasn't kind, wasn't empathetic. But now that I've got a better sense of that separation...all the things that weren't working for me always pointed back to lack of candor.” — Guest Author (05:34–07:10)

• Rejecting the “Just Business” Excuse:

  • The team calls out the toxic business maxim:

    “When I hear things like, 'don't take it personal, it's just business,' I'm like, what part of cruelty is acceptable in any scenario?” — Guest Author (12:49)

3. Abundance Mindset vs. Scarcity Mentality

• Rooting for Others, Embracing Empathy:
  • Gary and the guest stress that competition does not require pettiness, and that cheering for others’ success is a sign of genuine confidence and an abundance mindset (12:58–13:37):

    “You can't imagine how much I want everything to happen for you and everybody that looks like you and I. ... I want everybody on [your platform] to... I don't think any of their attention that they get for what they do...is taking out of me.” — Guest Author (12:58–13:37)

  • The episode identifies the misconception many young entrepreneurs have: seeing mean-spiritedness as strength, a myth propagated by stories of “tough” leaders like Steve Jobs (13:37–15:00)

4. The Book “12 and a Half” – The Real Ingredients for Success

• Ambition and Patience Can Coexist:

  • The book lays out 12.5 “ingredients” to business and life success, tackling “soft” skills—empathy, kindness, patience—alongside ambition and tenacity.

    “It's really fun to show people that ambition and patience can be played out in the same scenario. People think that's a contradiction.” — Guest Author (07:10)

  • "The half" is "kind candor," reflecting Gary’s own journey with directness and empathy (05:34–07:10)

• Business Is Only Part of Life:

  • Gary argues business, while intensely meaningful, is ultimately a “game.”

    “…if the concept of business was wiped off the earth tomorrow, I'm incredibly okay with that. Like, to me, it just doesn't mean that much. ... You can eliminate a lot of anxiety if you realize what actually matters.” — Guest Author (18:25–19:44)

5. Creating Content and Opportunity in the Digital Age

• Relentless Content Creation:

  • Gary advises “more, more, more” content as the key to spreading a message and building brand presence in a world of unprecedented opportunity.

    “You have a podcast. I want you to transcribe this interview into a LinkedIn post.... take seven quotes ... seven clips ... put it on Facebook ... YouTube... make an infographic of what I'm saying right now... more, more, more, more, more.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (20:14–20:47)

• The Internet as Happiness Driver:

  • Gary likens the internet to electricity and running water — a societal game-changer that, if harnessed, leads to “happiness”, not just utility (11:38–11:54)

6. Leadership, Autonomy, and Ego

• Delegation and Trust:

  • Gary explains why he grants his team substantial creative latitude, rooted in genuine self-confidence and practical insight:

    “I haven't been able to build these 80 $200 million businesses out of charisma. It's been operational. So very quickly I realized scale came in 98 people doing a seven of my 10 versus one person doing a ten.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (24:03–24:42)

  • He reveals that ego usually stems from insecurity, and self-awareness dissolves the need to micromanage (24:43–25:16)

• On Judgement and Hypocrisy:

  • Gary’s aversion to judging others is a major thread:

    “I'm obsessed right now on judgment and be happy. ... I'm angry at people's ability to judge with deep levels of hypocrisy... I am sure of the following statement: every person I've ever seen in society has done things that they're not proud of.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (26:05–26:45)

7. Anxiety, Self-Sufficiency, and the Quiet Mind

• Self-Soothing and Internal Validation:

  • Gary shares his approach to happiness and mental peace:

    “I am within myself. I am not in need of an outside or other force to navigate what's going on in my life.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (27:48)

  • He explains his “mental cat-licking” — practicing inner dialogue and self-reflection, rather than looking to anyone else (27:35–28:55)

• On Handling Criticism and Failure:

  • He remains unfazed by potential public criticism or business setbacks:

    “If I make 13 bad business decisions, lose everything...I deserve those headlines. ... I don't care because I feel capable of coming back. And then I get to rise like a phoenix and then do it all again.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (32:35)

8. Vision for the Future: Content, Stories, and Cultural Impact

• Legacy Beyond Business:
  • Gary shares his intention to produce stories in television and film, especially through his Veefriends brand, focusing on emotionally resonant characters like Patient Panda and Empathy Elephant—his own “Woody and Buzz.” (21:07–21:50)
  • He sets a long-term, Disney-like ambition for Veefriends, focusing on spreading empathy and optimism (23:30)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Intelligence in Business:

  “Empathy and kindness and patience are like the alpha shit. Not sharp elbows, not negotiation.” — Guest Author (11:54)

• On Abundant Mindset:

  “The level of cheering I have for everybody who's a personality ... I want everybody on it to, like...I don't think any of their attention that they get for what they do...is taking out of me.” — Guest Author (12:58)

• On Judgement:

  “Don't judge anybody. Don't judge anybody. I'm obsessed right now on judgment and be happy. ... Every person I've ever seen in society has done things that they're not proud of.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (26:05–26:45)

• On Handling Failure:

  “If I make 13 bad business decisions, lose everything, every article...I deserve those headlines. ... I don't care because I feel capable of coming back.” — Gary Vaynerchuk (32:35)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – 01:51: Framing business as a deep personal relationship; intro to the episode
• 01:53 – 05:34: Emotional intelligence as primary business advantage; the “ingredients” of success
• 05:34 – 07:10: The evolution from harsh candor to “kind candor”
• 11:38 – 12:49: The internet's world-changing opportunity; empathy, kindness as alpha traits
• 15:00 – 16:46: Rejecting zero-sum thinking in business; the football metaphor of fierce but friendly competition
• 18:25 – 19:44: Perspective on business as “game,” keeping ambition balanced with contentment, reducing anxiety
• 20:14 – 21:07: Gary’s tactical content creation advice for the digital era
• 24:03 – 25:16: Granting team autonomy; ego, self-awareness, and the role of trust in scaling
• 26:05 – 27:48: On hypocrisy in judgment and the value of living judgment-free
• 27:35 – 28:55: Internal validation and self-soothing; the “mental cat-licking” analogy
• 32:35 – 33:17: Handling criticism, fearlessness with failure, and the confidence to rise again

---

Episode Tone & Language

True to Gary Vee’s style, the conversation is energetic, practical, and peppered with honesty, motivation, and “tough love.” There’s an undercurrent of optimism, directness, and emotional openness, with frequent use of analogies, practical examples, and bold, memorable statements.

---

Summary prepared for listeners who want the actionable lessons, core stories, and big ideas without missing the spirit of the conversation.

Transcript

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

A lot of people that are confused about entrepreneurs, they don't realize that the business is the other family member. A business is another child, another spouse. It is. It's the output of people's passion. I look at businesses more like friends. You don't get to choose who you're born into as parents or siblings, but you do pick your friends. And a lot of times, that's why those are the most meaningful relationships. You do get to pick your business. This is the GaryVee audio experience.

[Interviewer 1]

I think this is your best work yet, and I'm curious if you could tell us a little bit about it and why you wrote it.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

First of all, that's, like, so huge to hear from you because I know you well enough to know what that statement means. And it's funny, I've been quietly and

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I haven't been publicly, so talk about

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

why I admire you. I think you have a really good read on this. I do think that the only book that was like, this was Crush It. Yeah, I felt Crush It. You know, much like many people's first album.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Right?

[Interviewer 1]

Yeah.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

You have your whole life to write it. So I had, quote, unquote, a lot of things to say and new things to say. And during a time of transition in the world, you know, the economic crisis, social media. So this. I really got into my feelings in a different way and really asked myself, like, what is it that allows the insanity of, like, the Christie stuff? Hope you're enjoying the podcast right now. Make sure you follow the podcast.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's why I'm interrupting.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Let's keep going on this show, but follow the podcast. It'll make my mom super happy when you're 45 and now you can say, okay, I've put more than half my life down in my professional years, and, boy, this is really going well. And I'm happy. Right. It's not just like friends that we have that have done well financially but are not happy. Right.

[Interviewer 1]

We know that there's a lot of them. Yeah.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

There's a lot more of them than the world believes or knows. And so, you know, I have for over a decade now, been passionate to share and talk. And I feel like, you know, Covid, right. You get to get, you know, you have time to think. And I'm at a different pace. And I think I finally kind of put down down in a really fun format, which was really the thing I was most scared about, like, how would I structure these feelings? And I really talk about what I believe, which is emotional intelligence in business is the Advantage that being kind doesn't mean you get walked all over and you're bad at negotiations. You know, that. That optimism matters, that accountability, pointing a thumb at yourself versus a finger, especially if you're an owner where you hired that person. So what are we doing here? You know, a lot of people that

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

are confused about entrepreneurs, they don't realize that the business is the other family member.

[Interviewer 2]

Oh, that's so true. 100%.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I mean, it just is. Like a business is another child, another spouse. It is. It's intense. Like, you know, it's the output of people's passion. It's kind. I look at businesses more like friends.

[Interviewer 1]

Fifteen years ago, naysayers were saying that social media did mean and what. And it was something to write off. But what we know now is that it was this virtually the same then as it is now. And yet the thing that was missing was our business culture's ability to measure it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Correct.

[Interviewer 1]

As soon, as soon as the technology allowed people to measure it, all the ad dollars came flying out of television into social media because it was the fast, the most personal, the smartest, and everyone knew everything about it. And so it was all of a sudden, what used to be just like literally six months or 12 months before was just like, oh, it's too fuzzy. It's. Social media became the.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Yes.

[Interviewer 1]

And what, what we, what I see now is the same thing. It was very easy to measure a P and L or to measure, you know, someone's performance on these eight KPIs, and yet we've all seen businesses that have the KPI shit in the bag or leaders that check the boxes. I can manage a P and L, like, you know, till the cows come home. But what we can't measure but we know because we see it in the best leaders and the best creators and the best entrepreneurs in the world is emotional intelligence. And I think you've written the first book that underscores. I think I wrote that book in creativity. And I think you wrote it. I think you wrote it in emotion, intelligence.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I appreciate it. I'm really proud of it. Like, I really, you know, for everybody listening, I created these scenarios because that's where everything comes from. I'm more of a listener than I'm a talker, which always, you know, makes people laugh or freak out or disagree. But I always remind them, I'm like, you only see the content I put out and post produce very effectively. Like, most of my day is the consumption of information. And a lot of the scenarios are baked in the at this point, hundreds of thousands, if not Even millions of DMS emails that I've received over the last 15 years of this journey. And, you know, there's just some really

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

complicated stuff out there, right?

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Like stay at home, mom or dad who still has a lot of fire in their belly, and like, what do you do here? And like, just all sorts of fun stuff that I went through. And you know, I really talk about accountability. Curiosity was a fun one for me to explore. You know, I. And so I structured the book out of these 13 ingredients that I think really give somebody a real shot in the business world. And it's a lifebook in that way too. I called it 12 and a half because this one really caught a lot

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

of people off guard.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Gary Vee, the character, the public domain speaker and pontificator and content creator, very good at candor. Too good. Gary Vaynerchuk, the CEO, and human, very bad at it. That's why I called it 12 and a half and I called it kind candor. My journey to making kind candor a half from a zero was because I started calling it kind candor instead of Candor because I saw. Back to your point. I saw candor for a long time as an excuse to be mean. I saw candor as something that often created fear. But what I didn't have yet was the maturity to understand the vessel that candor was being delivered in was the vulnerability. You know, my, my father was rough with his candor delivery. A lot of managers that were in that store were. Many people I came across in business in the 90s and 2000s were. The candor wasn't the problem. The, the vessel that was delivering the candor wasn't kind, wasn't empathetic. But now that I've got a better sense that of that separation and then I was very self reflective. All the things that weren't working for me always pointed back, always pointed back to lack of candor. And so, yeah, I mean, I talk about these ingredients. I talk about scenarios where three or four of them. It's really fun to show people that ambition and patience can be played out in the same scenario. People think that's a contradiction, you know, and so I really went, I really went there.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You don't get to choose who you're born into as parents or siblings, but you do pick your friends. And a lot of times that's why those are the most meaningful relationships.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

You.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You do get to pick your business.

[Interviewer 1]

Did your emotional intelligence develop because of business or did your business acumen and emotional Intelligence develop because of, because of Gary the human.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

It's so weird. It's such a fun question. Thank you. My brain immediately goes into. Man, it's hard because this was all happening at 6 and 7 and 8 and 9. You know, I talk a lot about this. I'm not sure people believe it. This has been a very big theme amongst my friends and relatives lately. Probably because of the Christie's thing. You know, you, you sit there and you have an event where like five of your drawings sell for a million dollars and, and you know, and you're up there and you're outselling Pollock and Warhol and you're like, what the fuck? And then, and then, and then you go through the feelings of like, knowing people are. If I'm what the fuck? Then many people are like, this is bullshit. And I get a lot of feedback from people I grew up with that are like, man, I wish they knew that. All you used to do was doodle in class and on the chalkboard. And you know, I was, I, you know, I've come to realize I'm dramatically more creative than I've thought about. Even the way as, as an entrepreneur, I've always thought of it as creativity, but I thought of it as strategy, you know, even though in a lot, so many ways I now see them the same. And so, you know, I think, I think for me, when I talk about being a businessman at 6, 7 and 8, there was a piece of content I put out recently where, you know, I do this thing called Trash Talk where I go garage sailing and I put out YouTube videos to teach people that it's out there. And I give this young girl $20 for her lemonade. And I'm walking back to the car and I'm talking about the reason I did that was that happened to me when I was 10. Some guy stopped on a bike, filled up his lemonade and he gave us a $10 bill. And you know, I'm a 45 year old man. I was eight years old.

[Interviewer 1]

So it was 10 cents back then.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Well, it was $10, which was like $4,000.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

It was actually the reverse, right? It was $10.

[Interviewer 1]

I mean, lemonade, your lemonade was 10 cents.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Lemonade was actually maybe 25 cents, but we've sold at 10 cents back then. So maybe. And, and, and in the comments, just the amount of. It's amazing how cynicism is so prevalent. Like that never happened. That never happened. And like, you know, a couple of my, both Marissa Bird and Robbie Turnick, who both happen to Be there were like, no, that really happened and something

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

we've talked about for.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

And so, you know, it's, it's this really fun journey. I've gone on a tangent. The answer is I'm not sure. I've been doing it so much for so long. I genuinely believe the talent of human intuition was always there. But the refinement of these natural emotional skills. Being a leader of my friends at 6 like I was to being 14 and being the son of the father who owned the liquor store and interacting with clients and with employees, you know, at 22, I was running the business like for real. So I just think I've, you know, at 45 years old I have so much pattern recognition and wisdom of reps from a kid. My mom last night sitting right here was saying how often I spent time with 80 year olds as a 4 year old. Just would gravitate towards it. And so, you know, it's fun. I think I'm very onto something with this book. I think it's gonna really leave a positive impact, this conversation. And I think I'm gonna build an empire, but I'm gonna do it with honey, not vinegar.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Start cutting down how much time you work on your not work or your work or your business or your product and you start realizing, my God, my profession, my career, my passion, you know, if you're lucky enough like you guys are. Is the majority of what I spend my time on.

[Interviewer 2]

Yes, very true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah. And I think that's why I'm so passionate about communicating my points of view on what the Internet has created. Oh yeah. Looking at the five of us, none of us were born into a world where this much opportunity existed. Our parents and grandparents did not have this opportunity.

[Interviewer 2]

No way.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

They just didn't.

[Interviewer 2]

No.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The Internet is like electricity. It's like running water. And I don't think we've understood that. And, and electricity and running water led to like better quality of life day to day. The Internet leads to happiness if you choose to harness it.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Oh, 100%.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's a big deal.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I think a lot of people are looking for permission to bring their strengths on the EQ side to the business world. And I think I've been doing that but not communicating it as much. And that's why this is so aha for me. This is why people I deeply admire who I think consume a lot of content like yourself will say, I think this is the one. It makes a lot of sense to me because it is in the same way crush it was the one. It Was like, I was uncomfortably right in that book, which is like, hey, you're going to be able to make money not by having a job and not by having a startup. And like, the creator economy is ungodly in exactly the way I laid it out. So same here. I don't think it's going to be uncommon for people to believe that empathy and kindness and patience are like the alpha shit. Not sharp elbows, not negotiation.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Like, when I hear things like, don't

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

take it personal, it's just business, I'm like, what part of cruelty is acceptable in any scenario?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Right?

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

When I think about people not realizing the world's abundant and actually want to tear down other people's. Like, you can't imagine how much I want everything to happen for you and everybody that looks like you and I. Right? Like. Like the level of cheering I have for everybody who's a personality who might be amassing attention through content. That's why I've always loved your platform. I want everybody on it to, like, I don't think, like Tim Ferriss or Kevin Rose or Arlen Hamilton or like, like Morin. Like, I don't think any of their attention that they get for what they do is. Even though it might be tangentially touching, what I do is taking out of me.

[Interviewer 1]

No.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

And I. And I want people to. I'm very competitive. Like, this is not about, like, Like, I. Again, I don't know how hardcore you read it, skimmed it, got a sense of it. But, like, this is not written in the sense of, like, oh, let's be fluffy. Fluffy. And eighth place trophy. Like, like, tenacity is one of the 12 and a half. There's nothing soft about tenacity. Right. Ambition. These are real things, you know, But. But I. I think people are confused. I think people are confused. And then we had this whole era and this is where this, this book is actually seeded. Probably 10 years ago, maybe 12, when I realized, oh, no, a lot of these kids think it's cool to be mean because Steve Jobs was considered mean. Yeah. And I remember thinking, man, if I ever get to. As big as I think I'm going to get, because I thought it. And not that I'm Steve Jobs now, but, like, I have enough attention and enough success and enough pattern recognition and have seen it and witnessed it in enough other places because it's not a focus group of one that I feel like maybe this conversation. And I've been doing it quietly in my social. And I think I really want this book to go viral because I want it to change the temperament of leaders.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm a very big believer that if you see anybody in your circumstance succeed in happiness, forget about money, well, then you can too. You know, like, if there's anybody out there who was born into two parents that were addicted to heroin and were never around and that person went on to achieve happiness, then every child who sees that person can point to that. I think it's very powerful to be co founders, one who does have a family and one who doesn't, because your audience then gets to see themselves in one of you. And so I think that's incredible in

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

a world we live in now. Very polarizing. Left, right, blue, red. This isn't about, okay, let's like, take the teeth out of business. Like, this is very much a business and lifebook, like, for achievement, for success. And there is absolutely, like, it's a game. It's.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The best way I can put is

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I think of it like football, which I obviously, you know, I love a lot.

[Interviewer 1]

Surprise.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

When they play football, they beat the living shit at each other and they go hard. But when the game is over, and

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

this drives me crazy as a fan

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

because I'm mad that we lost and I don't want you to buddy, buddy with the other guy we just lost. But they ask how the wife is. I mean, I, you know, now I'm very into that world. They talk about things like, hey, I'd love to give a donation to your charity. You'd be blown away by the stuff that's actually being talked on the field. And you know this. But like you did at a younger level, like, this is the professional level and, and I see business that way. This is win, let's win. But believe it or not, back like your incredible partner there, you can win with more hearts than daggers, for sure.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I was saying something to Brandon, my best friend who runs Wine Library now, who I built Wine Library with, who I've known since I was 14 doing baseball cards. And I said something to him. This is a true story. This happened only a couple hours ago. I was telling him about my ambitions for him as an executive at Wine Library and why I think we can be way more successful next year.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

And.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And I said to him something pretty powerful that I'd never really articulated. I said, brandon, you know the guy that you worked with those 12 years, the one that you admire and think is the best, I currently in my current form as a businessman, as a person, as a father, a husband, a man, I view that guy, that was me only A decade ago. And I referenced a former employee of ours who was like a C minus, and it really took him back. And it's actually the truth. I can't believe how much better I am today than I was 10 years ago. And I thought I was the best 10 years ago. You can imagine. One of the things that I'm most proud of is I only give advice. I took over the last 10 years. I have become better. There's nothing else to say. I've become better.

[Interviewer 2]

But how do you become better is maybe the main question.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

One step at a time.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

One thing I talk a lot about in this book is optimism. If you decided it's bad, it's already bad.

[Interviewer 1]

Yeah.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

You know, like. Like, if you just like, cynicism and pessimism is a game changer for people. It is awful. It is a. It is a game over before you started.

[Interviewer 1]

I have room in my life for a lot of things and in my business for a lot of things. Cynicism is not one of them. I literally, I got.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I got at all. I'm visceral.

[Interviewer 1]

I got no space for it.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

So, again, the other thing that I want to just say real quick, asked Drock the other day, like, hey, so what hit you? Because we just did the audiobook, and he was filmed the making of it, then the book, and he's like, it's the perspective part. It's when you talk about, like, a billion people not having clean water. Like, it's truly like, what I realized in this book. And I didn't really put the nail in the coffin, but it's very clear to me what I did in this book. The other thing I did in this book is hindsight was talk about something I never talk about. I'm not even sure I've articulated this yet in content. So here you go. I can't even, as I'm about to try right now, ever fully articulate to people how little I think business matters. There is something. Yeah, I will. I love what I do. I love my process. I love the game. I'm all that I appear to be from a passion standpoint about this. But if. If the concept of business was wiped off the earth tomorrow, I'm incredibly okay with that. Like, to me, it just doesn't mean that much. And people have so much pressure in the workplace, especially entrepreneurs and employees. And, like, I'm just. I realized, oh, I'm dangerous. You know, they say, like, desperate fighter is a dangerous fighter in a boxing match, and I feel like it's really weird to say this, this balance of massive ambition, massive with equal content is mind boggling. And a lot of what I undertone in this book is like, you can eliminate a lot of anxiety if you realize what actually matters.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

How do we get our message out more?

[Interviewer 2]

Yes.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

My answer was more content. You have a podcast. I want you to transcribe this interview into a LinkedIn post. I want you to write a medium post. I want you to have your own blog on your own website. I want you to take seven quotes from this interview and put pictures over it. I want you to take seven clips and put it on Facebook. I want you to put it on YouTube. I want you to put one minute clips from this on YouTube. I want you to make an infographic of what I'm saying right now of how we're gonna make more content shop. I mean, more, more, more, more, more.

[Interviewer 2]

And how do you find the time?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You buy time.

[Interviewer 2]

Very true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yes. You buy time.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Yeah. Leveraging others.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Correct. Yeah, you buy time.

[Interviewer 1]

What is the thing that is not on the radar now that has that. That you are equally for me, for me.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

For me it will be long form storytelling. There is no scenario of me leaving this world without me putting out meaningful television and film. I just have too many stories that

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I want to tell.

[Interviewer 1]

What's the first one going to be?

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

There's a basketball player by the name of Connie Hawkins who got banned from the NBA. And I think it's an incredibly important story because I think it's unjust. And so that's on my mind. And then, you know, I'll probably get forced into animation. Veefriends is insane what I'm actually doing.

[Interviewer 1]

Yeah.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

And so, you know, probably my first at bat will be where I am right now in Veefriends land. An animated film or movie around Patient Panda and Empathy Elephant who I do think are my Woody and Buzzier Buzz Lightyear. You know, those are the two kind of like Alphas of the Optimus prime and you know, kind of the, the, the alphas in my universe. So we'll see. But I have, I have a lot. Most of what I'm going to do is going to sit under the foundation of these emotional traits. Right. Like humanity.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I genuinely get happiness from other people getting happy. Mainly because I'm pretty emotionally fulfilled.

[Interviewer 2]

Yes.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Once you're happy, what the only logical next step is to make other people happy. That there is no more. So I get it. But the answer is you have to make your actions map your ambitions.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

The best part about the way I like to roll too is we all love to have hot takes. I think his is a little bit tongue in cheek. He's actually, I think just being incredibly nice to me, giving some love to this project. But, you know, it's really, really cool to watch a lot of us evolve over the last 15 years. And I'm like excited for the next 15. I can't wait to see what which solid, solid, solid acquaintance or friend or very good friend becomes. Governors and presidents and like, you know, our generation, our call it 38 to 52 crew is now going into that next year. And I just think it's going to be a lot of fun to see how it all breaks out.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

So you basically have to leave short term vanity things because if you want to be big, then you have to make sacrifice.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I am going to build Disney. I'm going to now I might, you know, maybe I pass too soon, maybe, whatever. But I do believe over next 30 years that I will make these characters incredibly culturally relevant. And you know, I'm obsessed with over delivering for everybody who owns a VFriend, NFT or the five people that now own the original art.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

If you talk to my team right now, they'll tell you the level of autonomy that I give them creatively and process wise is.

[Interviewer 2]

And how long did that take you to get to that point?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I've always been basically in that point because that was a natural strength of mine realizing practically. See, the interesting thing about me that I don't talk a whole lot about is I would argue that I'm disproportionately more practical than I am emotional. And people are confused by that because I'm so high energy and I'm so vibed out that it disguises my level of practicality. I haven't been able to build these 80 $200 million businesses out of charisma. It's been operational. So very quickly I realized scale came in 98 people doing a seven of my 10 versus one person doing a 10.

[Interviewer 2]

But that's so hard to let go.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's not really hard if you're fortunate enough to not have ego. Ego is just insecurity disguised.

[Interviewer 2]

Very true. It is and it's so true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

But listen, you'll appreciate this. I have empathy. It's the hardest thing to let go is the image of oneself. It's one thing if you're letting go how people stock your shelves in a liquor store, which I did, which my dad couldn't, or a million other things I've let go. The most valuable Thing of all, they are actually 100% in control of my image.

[Interviewer 2]

I love it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I mean, I do not micromanage. It's absurd when you think about the level. Here's why I believe the truth always wins. So if Seth went rogue, I mean Seth tomorrow could leave. Could not leave. He could literally record the first two minutes of the podcast and be like, hey guys, this is Seth. Let me actually tell you the truth about Gary Vaynerchuk. I love how he's like, but like, but, but I would never know. There is no checks and balances. I blindly trust Seth.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah. Mainly because I know who I actually am. The reason I'm not scared is every mistake is fixable. When the truth and good is on your side 100%. Being the bigger person.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Yeah.

[Interviewer 2]

100.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Is always the move. The world doesn't get upset at you for the mistake. It gets upset of you for the COVID up.

[Interviewer 2]

Yes.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I basically live my life expecting to make substantial mistakes on a daily basis. Mainly because humans are flawed. I mean, the biggest problem with our society right now is hypocrisy. All we do is deploy judgment on others while we're doing something else that's wrong. Don't judge anybody. Don't judge anybody. I'm obsessed right now on judgment and be happy. I'm just so angry. And I don't get angry. I'm angry at people's ability to judge when with deep levels of hypocrisy on the back end. I am sure of the following statement. Every person I've ever seen in society has done things that they're not proud of.

[Interviewer 2]

100% definitely has.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I know it to fail.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Everybody does.

[Interviewer 2]

And if they're lying.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Thus I don't have the capability of judging somebody else's life. I don't know what's going on in their bedroom, in their house, in. In their head, in their relationship. I just hate judge. I'm crippled by judgment. I hate it. I wanna eliminate it.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

As meditation has become a big thing in our culture. I don't meditate, but I kind of live a very thoughtful, mindful, spiritual macro. Intriguing mindset life. I often say that I live in a cocoon. I go to myself. I'm self soothing. You know, it's funny, when you asked that question, I literally thought about a cat licking itself.

[Interviewer 2]

That's impossible.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I've never used this analogy ever. I know my team has never heard this. I think you're gonna find this really funny. This is true. I don't know why cats lick Them, I guess that's how they bathe themselves.

[Interviewer 2]

I do that. They clean themselves.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah. I would tell you that I do a mental version of that. I am within myself. I am not in need of an outside or other force to navigate what's going on in my life. I've also never experienced the death of somebody disproportionately close to me because I lost all my grandparents except for one, and didn't have a very large family. So here I am at 43 years old and not losing my parents, siblings, children, spouse. So, you know, I'm maybe gonna need it then. The only thing I really do care about is those 11, 12, 13 people. Like, I wish people actually knew how real that is to me. I think people say it, and they're not truthful.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think people say all I care about is my family, but then I watch their actions. It's not true. I don't go to anybody. I go to myself.

[Interviewer 2]

That's amazing.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I do. I go to myself in my sleep, in my showers, in my flights, in those moments where I have a second to myself, where I'm not working every second, I go to myself.

[Interviewer 2]

That's amazing.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I'm jealous.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And honestly, a lot of what I'm trying to put into the world is trying to get people into that. Lately, I've been doing at a keynote recently, I've been doing this kind of, like, I've only done the shtick now a couple times where I put my fingers in my ears. I'm like, my happiness comes from this hearing a voice. You know, I can't hear anybody. You know, when you can't hear anybody for real? And I want to really go here right now. I'm not.

[Interviewer 2]

You don't even hear your wife in your ear.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I cannot hear my wife.

[Interviewer 2]

Come on, Carrie.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I don't.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And it's funny. You went there, and that's where I was about to go. In its truth, in its purest form, when you don't hear your spouse or your parents or your children,

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

that's it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's why I am who I am. I don't hear it. I think I have a unique life for a reason. I really do know that. Oh, yeah. Like, I do know that. Like, I don't have this admiration or success or notoriety or. The thing that's happening with me is the byproduct of who I am. Couple things, back to ego, insecurity, confidence, all that stuff. A, I don't think I did that. I think Gary Vee is the byproduct of Tamara and Sasha Vaynerchuk, the byproduct of capitalism in America. Like the byproduct of a kid who was born with nothing and had to earn his keep.

[Interviewer 2]

That's true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

So like when people like when this nice feelings that I'm getting from you guys come, you'd be so surprised how much that doesn't go to me, which keeps me disproportionately grounded.

[Interviewer 2]

So that's how you don't have an ego.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's exactly right.

[Interviewer 2]

Exactly.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You know, and it's like I have confidence because I have to definitely have a lot of confidence, but I have such disproportionate amounts of humility because aware of the truth, which is I had less to do with this. I think people are confused that they're the byproduct of much more than they are. I think their children, their businesses like my pride in my children. And definitely my businesses will be very high because that's me architecting my community. I'm very proud of the positivity. And positivity with, with non delusion is very difficult to create. I don't want to be the secret, you know, I don't even want to be, you know, Tony Robbins or Oprah. I've got a different kind of slight gear to it, which comes with a level of practicality and accountability and lack of entitlement. That is a little bit different. And I do think that's why it's happening. But it's very quiet in my head. Very, very, very quiet. I am disproportionately not anxious.

[Interviewer 2]

Found something funny. Send it instantly. TikTok makes sharing with friends effortless. One tap whole group laughing moments move fast. Download TikTok now.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

That's good.

[Interviewer 2]

That's tough not to have anxiety.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I agree. As anxiety has grown in our society, it has grown.

[Interviewer 2]

You don't sleep at night.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm less anxious than I've ever been. Worrying doesn't come natural to me because I feel in control. And here's where being quiet helps. I'm so comfortable If I make 13 bad business decisions, lose everything, every article on Earth is written. See, I told you he was full of shit. He wasn't good. He wasn't as good as he thought. This is why. Don't be the next Gary Vee. As a headline, that doesn't bother me. I'll tell you why. Number one, if I go on to lose everything from a business standpoint, I deserve those headlines.

[Interviewer 2]

True.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Number two, I don't care because I feel capable of coming back. And then I get to rise like a phoenix and then do it all again. And so I think being quiet in your head is a big deal. I'm not worried about who thinks I'm ugly or stupid or full of shit or not capable or not as good as I think. I just. You know what's funny? I respect it, I hear it, but I don't consume it. I definitely don't internalize it, and I don't live my life predicated on it. I wish there was data on the chemicals that are going through my body when I listen to you, because I believe you. And let me tell you something, as you continue to go through the process, it's bonkers. It's just.

[Interviewer 2]

Oh, 100% it is.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It just gets better and better and better.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

Everybody, if you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

They're loaded.

[Guest Author/Entrepreneur]

I appreciate your attention and thanks for being part of this journey.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

See you later.