Overcoming Life's Adversities: The Power of Perspective and Patience | Big Sean and Devi Brown

Summary

Podcast Summary: Overcoming Life's Adversities: The Power of Perspective and Patience | Big Sean and Devi Brown

Podcast Information:

• Title: The GaryVee Audio Experience
• Host/Author: Gary Vaynerchuk
• Episode: Overcoming Life's Adversities: The Power of Perspective and Patience | Big Sean and Devi Brown
• Release Date: January 28, 2025

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The GaryVee Audio Experience, entrepreneur and motivational speaker Gary Vaynerchuk is joined by acclaimed artist Big Sean and wellness expert Devi Brown. Together, they delve into profound discussions surrounding life's adversities, the significance of perspective and patience, creativity, and achieving harmony between personal and professional life. The conversation is enriched with personal anecdotes, insightful philosophies, and actionable advice aimed at empowering listeners to navigate challenges and cultivate a fulfilling life.

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1. The Probability of Life and Perspective (00:00 – 01:39)

The episode opens with Gary highlighting the astronomical odds of being born, emphasizing how “400 trillion to one” is the likelihood of any individual’s existence. This serves as a foundational reminder to appreciate life’s miraculous simplicity and the power of perspective.

• Gary Vaynerchuk [00:33]: “Life is stunningly basic. We complicate it to the highest level in its most simplest form. What's crazy is life is actually how you decide to see it.”

This segment underscores the importance of recognizing and controlling one’s perspective to master life rather than allow circumstances to dictate it.

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2. Simplicity and Perspectives on Negativity and Positivity (01:39 – 03:48)

Big Sean expands on the theme of simplicity, arguing that being "basic" is not inherently negative but rather a pursuit of simplicity as a goal in life.

• Big Sean [01:54]: “Set your boundaries. It's okay. The people who love you and the people who understand, they're gonna understand those boundaries 100%.”

Gary elaborates on the influence of social media algorithms, noting that positivity often dominates feeds because algorithms expose users to content they engage with, whether positive or negative.

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3. The Relationship between Ambition and Patience (03:48 – 06:04)

A pivotal part of the discussion revolves around the interplay between ambition and patience.

• Big Sean [03:50]: “If you actually love your game, you're so in love with it that you want it to go slow.”

• Devi Brown [04:12]: “You need to choose your hard... it comes with plenty.”

Gary reinforces that true success lies in loving the journey, not just the end goals, and that patience is essential in achieving meaningful ambitions.

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4. Defining Success and Purpose (06:04 – 08:37)

The conversation shifts to redefining success beyond traditional measures like money and fame. Instead, the focus is on purpose and personal fulfillment.

• Gary Vaynerchuk [07:03]: “Adversity is the foundation of success.”

The speakers discuss how overcoming challenges and maintaining humility contribute to lasting success and personal growth.

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5. Overcoming Adversity and The Power of Self-Awareness (08:37 – 11:42)

Gary shares personal experiences of loss and the realization that adversity shapes individuals into their best selves.

• Gary Vaynerchuk [09:00]: “Whatever you feel, that is an indication that you're meant for something different, something greater.”

He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and how recognizing one’s emotions and responses to adversity leads to resilience and personal development.

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6. Creativity and Self-Expression (16:01 – 20:05)

The trio explores the essence of creativity, asserting that creativity is inherent in all human actions, not just artistic endeavors.

• Big Sean [17:29]: “Whatever it brings you that feeling of just feeling good. It could be jumping on a trampoline, it could be riding the waves... being creative.”

Gary adds that true creativity stems from listening and understanding the collective temperament, allowing for more authentic and impactful content creation.

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7. Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned (20:05 – 29:43)

Big Sean recounts his journey from Detroit to stardom, highlighting the influence of his grandmother and the importance of foundational support systems.

• Big Sean [23:07]: “I wrote the book because there are people that come from where I come from that may not have the same guidance that I had.”

He discusses his motivations for authoring a book aimed at helping others navigate their own paths through practical wisdom and shared experiences.

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8. Work-Life Harmony and Parenting (42:11 – 55:51)

The episode culminates in a heartfelt discussion on work-life balance, boundaries, and the importance of self-care for parents.

• Gary Vaynerchuk [42:21]: “Who gets to define the work-life balance? You are, your partner is.”

• Devi Brown [45:00]: “I try to feed his cup based on what uniquely meets his heart.”

The guests advocate for personalized approaches to balancing professional ambitions with personal responsibilities, emphasizing communication and setting clear boundaries to maintain harmony.

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9. Philosophy on Positivity and Negativity (52:02 – 54:35)

Gary challenges listeners to amplify positivity in their content creation, arguing that negativity often overshadows the abundant good in the world.

• Gary Vaynerchuk [53:25]: “We are marketers of negativity. We must change that because that's what's got everyone confused.”

This segment serves as a call to action for individuals to leverage social platforms to spread positive messages, counteracting the prevalent negativity.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with expressions of gratitude and encouragement from all participants. Gary urges listeners to leave reviews to support the podcast, while Big Sean and Devi Brown share final insights on maintaining balance and fostering positive environments both personally and professionally.

• Big Sean [55:06]: “Enjoy that. It's a postcard redemption.”

• Devi Brown [55:35]: “Hopefully, it’s impacting you.”

The discussion leaves listeners with a powerful reminder of the importance of perspective, patience, creativity, and positivity in overcoming life's adversities and achieving a harmonious existence.

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Notable Quotes:

• Gary Vaynerchuk [00:33]: “Life is stunningly basic. We complicate it to the highest level in its most simplest form.”

• Big Sean [03:50]: “If you actually love your game, you're so in love with it that you want it to go slow.”

• Gary Vaynerchuk [07:03]: “Adversity is the foundation of success.”

• Devi Brown [45:35]: “Find what uniquely fills your child's cup.”

• Gary Vaynerchuk [53:25]: “We are marketers of negativity. We must change that.”

Key Takeaways:

1. Appreciate Life’s Miraculous Existence: Recognizing the improbability of our existence fosters gratitude and a positive outlook.
2. Embrace Simplicity: Life’s complexities can be managed by simplifying our perspectives and focusing on what truly matters.
3. Balance Ambition with Patience: While ambition drives us forward, patience ensures sustainable and meaningful progress.
4. Redefine Success: True success lies in purpose and personal fulfillment rather than conventional metrics.
5. Harness Creativity: Everyone possesses creative potential that can be expressed in various aspects of life.
6. Maintain Work-Life Harmony: Personalized approaches and clear boundaries are essential for balancing professional and personal responsibilities.
7. Promote Positivity: Actively sharing positive content can counteract societal negativity and contribute to a more uplifting environment.

This episode serves as a profound guide for listeners seeking to navigate life's challenges with resilience, creativity, and a balanced approach to personal and professional growth.

Transcript

[A]

This is the GaryVee audio experience. Hey, everybody. Before we start today's podcast, I put out a new deck. I know the Pyramid deck changed everyone's life. Go to GaryVee.com attention. A free. How many pages does it sid? A free 47 page deck that is free. That will change your business, your life, your brand, your world. Go check it out. Now to the podcast. 400 trillion to one, which is the math currently that scientists agree is the likelihood of being born.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

It is crazy. I think somebody broke it down for me in an email once. It's like winning the lottery 17 times, you know, and so, like, I do think we take it for granted. We were talking as we were about to go on stage and the thing that I can't stop thinking about when I think about the context of this format and us three being up here and just even so many of the people that I see in the crowd that could also be up here, because I see how they're moving. Life is stunningly basic. We complicate it to the highest level in its most simplest form. What's crazy is life is actually how you decide to see it. You know, people talk so much about negativity, it's scary when I look in my feed how it's all positivity because the algo understands what I'm paying attention to. The algo isn't sending you to places, it's exposing the places you are actually in. And once you understand that truth, you control life instead of it controlling you. Thank you. I'll see you next week.

[B]

Yeah. And basic, you know that word basic kind of gets like a negative connotation to people, but like a white tea is basic. Basic doesn't mean bad, actually.

[A]

Simplicity is. Is the goal.

[B]

Yeah, it is. It really is.

[A]

It's the goal.

[B]

It really, really is. Yeah. Thank you for that.

[C]

But you put something on your LinkedIn that I really resonate with. You wrote, people might think ambition contradicts patience, but I think patience is the path to your ambitions.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Can you expand on that? That felt really deep for me.

[A]

Yeah. I wish I had your music talent because I would really dominate. You know, I think a lot about what I would wish on everyone here. And the first one is health. Back to like, really, what I'm trying to say here is no matter what's bothering you right now, especially if it's professional, I promise you, you would not give a fuck about it if something happened to you or the five to seven people you most care about. Promise. The deal, the miss.

[B]

Guaranteed.

[A]

Guaranteed. And so I. That's basically how I live my life, which is why I'm predominantly happy. I just don't know how to give energy to anything but that. And that has been the blessing of my life. And there's a lot that goes into that. We could talk about that after health. It is scary to me how much I would think about what I would wish on you next. First would actually be self awareness. The moment you become self aware is the moment you start loving yourself more is the moment it all starts to click. But way up the list would be patience. Number one. Number one in my DMs. Number one. When I watch people moving that I admire or I like if they're under 40, the vulnerability is patience. People want it so bad, so fast. Here's why patience is so interesting to me. I believe that way too many people in this circle right now, if we really, really got to the core of it, want it. The success, the money, the notoriety. To disguise their insecurities, they want the following count. They want the dollar amounts. They want the jewelry, the car, the relationship.

[B]

And what is success really? That's another thing.

[A]

Well, that becomes the point. If you actually love your game, you're so in love in it that you want it to go slow. But the reality is, is that everybody wants to get somewhere so fast because they think they're chasing the wrong thing. They're chasing the trophy instead of the game that gets you the trophy.

[B]

See, that was beautifully said. You guys make some noise. That was what he said was very profound.

[C]

Let that drop in.

[B]

And not only recognizing what success is to you, because these things that we think are success are maybe a byproduct of success or maybe just a quick dopamine hit us of what you get from success. But it doesn't last. So the real success is, you know, the feeling and of being in your purpose of doing something. And one more thing that I realized that we all have kind of up a little bit is that we let life not going our way dictate our happiness. And those are two separate things. When we, we kind of group it together, it's like if things aren't going our way, it kind of can make us a bitter, shittier person sometimes. And it shouldn't because those are two different things. It's like they have nothing to do with each other. So I think we've grouped it in and we group a lot of things together. It's like, hey, if I take you to dinner, you owe me this movie. It's like, no, you don't. Those are two separate things. So just remember that it's your choice to be happy, and you're literally a walking magnet. So it's like you have to choose it before everything starts going your way. And whether things go your way or not, because that is the power of the. The God that's in all of us to create our universe. It's like we get to thinking, like, when things don't go our way, that is just all crash and burns and it's over. And it's not. In fact, the fact that you feel that way is just an indication that you're meant for something different, something greater, something more, something. And that's a true blessing to recognize that emotion and that feeling. And actually, it's part of the human experience that really shapes us to be our greatest selves ever. So congratulations to everyone who is going through tough times because you are on a path of development that can't be bought and is priceless. Wow.

[A]

You know what's really powerful about that is the concept of even thinking that you should have it go your way. You know, as you were talking, I was like, thinking, and I'm like, man, it's crazy how much humility is such a superpower. Like, I wouldn't even have the audacity to think the way I wanted it to be. It would. It's actually my favorite thing to think about when I watch our country and the world get more political. The concept that another human being should see the world the way you see it is laughable. The thought that somebody living a completely different life, different circumstances, gender, race, religion, where they were raised, at what time, what things shaped them. Our incredible lack of humility hurts us at debating dinner tables, but it really hurts us on a much more powerful level of what you're talking about. I was born in the Soviet Union, which probably leads to a lot of my gratitude. You know, I was really born in a very challenging place. And I think a lot of people don't realize the Soviet Union was more North Korea than it was Iran. Meaning you couldn't leave. It's not like other places wouldn't take your passport. You couldn't leave the country. So I was born in jail, actually. And obviously, I got very lucky and fortunate to come to the US At a young age. But when I think about just the sheer power in one of my favorite Russian sayings that my mom and dad used to say a lot, which was, man makes plan and God laughs, my.

[B]

Grandma used to say that too. And she's not Russian.

[A]

Yeah, well, you know how all this shit is. We all said the same shit at one point, and we just broke it up into different versions of it. But I think what's really powerful is, to your point earlier, you know, congratulations that you're going through this. Is there any confusion to anyone that adversity is the foundation of success? Like, it is the most black and white thing in the world? One of the things we all fear is we, especially for people in this room who've gone through the journey of coming from little to building something. You spend your life being concerned about your children being too entitled or not understanding, like, adversity is the foundation of success and the lack of humility, the entitlement that comes along with. You made a plan and it's supposed to be like, that is so crazy.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's so crazy.

[B]

It really is. Well said. Yeah. And to anyone, one of the biggest things that's helped me too is like recognizing that fear is just really just false evidence appearing real and that it's okay, everything. You ever been afraid of losing something, gaining something? You know, I used to have a fear of, like. So I come from Detroit. It's a little probably, you know, a nacho better than the Soviet Union. But it's a city that is the only city in the. In the America that's ever gone bankrupt. You know what I'm saying? It's seen as ups and downs. A city of, like, hustlers, real, real go getters, and, like, people who know how to make something out of nothing. But I also think that growing up with that mentality kind of gave me a fear of losing money, right? And it's like when I read Deepak Chopra, seven Spiritual Laws of Success, it was like, I remember him talking about money as energetic as a flow. You know, it's almost like blood. You can't let blood sit there and coagulate. You got to keep it moving, you know? And all of these terms like it takes money to make money that are so, like, just said all the time. They really have a lot of truth to them. But I remember one of my biggest fears was losing money. And I remember I got my first advance from music when I signed to good music to Kanye, and It was for $15,000, and it was signed by Don de West, and I got it. And I remember at the time, I took my girlfriend to get ice cream, and it went down to 14 972. And I was like, that was. I'm like, damn, this, you know, and it was always a fear around it, right? And. But I had that faith, you know, And I say, I talk about this in my book and stuff. Faith is like that invisible bridge. You can't really see, but it just you. It holds you up. And as long as you believe it'll get you to the other side, it will. And I always have faith that it was always going to work out. And once I really let go of that fear, not only was I able to enjoy my life more, I was able to magnetize money. No matter how anything goes, no matter how well my album does or doesn't do, no matter how well, it's like the universe really does take care of me. I had. I made an agreement, I swear with God. And it's like, then I. Cause you know what really kind of broke the fear is like, okay, what if I did go back to zero? I was. I was actually happy at 02, actually. And I was like, fine. You know that. It's like, if I had to go back there, it doesn't matter. One of the most profound things Sadhguru said to me when I sat and talked with him, I was like, where's your favorite place in the world? He was like, wherever I'm at. And I was like, damn. And. But, you know, my point being is that all of these fears is false evidence appearing real. It all goes back to love, which is what we're all blessed to experience. And love is just life or living on valued energy. And life is just love in full effect. So just remember that. Don't trip on nothing, because it's all temporary. And before you know it, it's over. The good and the bad time. So just enjoy every moment of it and every experience.

[A]

Cause you're capable. Cause that's the point of the whole thing. You're capable. The reason I jumped in. And I don't want to jump on your flow, but like, yeah, I want to just co sign it. Like, yeah, yeah, like, you know, like, I really. I think about this all the time. Like, and what. I say that to myself all the time. And what blah, blah, blah, blah, blah will happen and this bad thing and what? And what. And that's why. That's why what that game does to you. And I've been doing this since I was 15 years old. There was no books. There was no fucking podcast. There was the luck of the draw of my DNA, my circumstance. And I had a mother that just fucking did it, you know, like, just did it. Like, built me so proper. Like it scares me. It scares me how not scared I am. There's just nothing. What? I'll fucking sleep on the street and have nothing and. Cause I definitely don't give a fuck what you think about that. And I just wish more people didn't care what other people thought about theirs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Can I just point out something I am loving about this conversation is it is so counterintuitive to the way I think the Zeitgeist has been trying to feed us, program us and brainwash us. Especially over the last two decades where it's been so individualistic. It's been so about peacocking. Look at me. How big am I? Celebrate me. And it really isn't even about what the work is that you do. It's just. I want you to know that I'm working. Right. And so like we have gotten to this thing where we have so deepened in our connection to a false identity.

[A]

But we bought it.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, we bought it.

[A]

I'm. People are selling all the time. Did you buy it? You're in control. I love this whole. You know, this is. You got me so hyped with the way you started this. You could see I sprung up. No shit. But the world's selling shit 24 7. You better stop fucking blaming the world of selling. You better blame your fucking self for buying.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Right?

[B]

No shit.

[A]

They're selling good news.

[B]

But it's also because it's like that. That that's the only thing that we're fed. That's the reason why.

[A]

But it's not. But it's not.

[B]

No, no, no. I'm not talking about us. But I'm talking about some people. That's the only thing. They see it.

[A]

But. But it's on them to see something else. It is like I'm telling you the anecdote, the drug, the cure is accountability.

[B]

It is.

[A]

We've gotten to such a place. Why do you think the rise of politicians has happened? I promise you it's because people actually believe someone's going to do something to help them. And yes, I get that concept. And there's parts of that.

[B]

No, but it starts with you though.

[A]

100%. You know, again, I started isn't going.

[B]

To make us better people.

[A]

Whether it went this way or that way or this or that. Like the second you realize how much control you actually have, no matter what's being sold. I don't buy it. Right. And so understanding that.

[C]

Ooh, come on. Okay. So yes, we're here today. Right. Especially for this Panel to speak specifically about wellness. Creativity. Wellness and creativity is the work of humanity. And I think that that is the piece that every single thing that each of these great masterful men on stage have been speaking to. It's tap into the humanity of your experience being here on earth and use your skill set, use the gifts, use everything else to create. Let's talk about creativity for a second. You know, creativity is next to godliness. It is godliness, creation, right? And we are each co creating the in every single moment. And I personally find creativity to be the cure for karma, to be the cure for any positions we may find ourselves in and to continue to help and to serve. But with that in mind, what does creativity and self expression mean to each of you and how do you even tap into it?

[B]

Well, there's nothing more creative than creating a creation. So we, we all, we all are a product of creativity. I think we kind of get confused thinking create. Being creative is like being an artist. But everything we do is creative from putting on our outfit, from our thoughts we think from raising our children or being an auntie or uncle or being a cousin or being a son or being everything we do or being a lawyer or a doctor or a whatever job it is you an accountant, a whatever, anything you can think of it it's creative because you are creating your experience. So to me I think make sure you keep the idea that you know, one of the worst things you could do is self sabotage yourself of being like, well I'm not a creative person. I'm an analytical person. And analyt being analytical is still creative. Like my accountant, my, my boy who does numbers and stuff, he's creative. And Josh Klein shout out John, he's like, he is such a creative guy. But my point that when it comes to that realize how creative you all are and how the power you have to do so. And as far as like arts, what was the second part of the question?

[C]

Creative self expression. How do you tap into it or how do you, how do you begin to bring the muse out to bring it to life?

[B]

Well, my journey is different than a lot of other people's journeys. You know, music has. And expressing myself in that way is just one way or writing or whatever it is. But how you choose to express yourself is truly up to you. There's no wrong way to do it. It's almost like meditating. You know how some people be like man, I can't meditate, I can't clear my, I can't shut my brain off. It's like well, you're not a computer, you know, you can't go brain dead and just be like, not think of anything. That's not the point of meditation. It's kind of like adjusting and understanding that you. Whatever it is to express yourself, whatever brings you that feeling of, like, just feeling good. It could be jumping on a trampoline, it could be riding the waves, it could be sitting in the sand, it could be going in nature. It could be all of these things. I don't know. Whatever it is you love to do, as long as it's like, not like, like destructive to other people, you know, then that is a way of not only expressing yourself, but being artistic, being creative. And I think that the moment we're born, we all are creative people, we all are artists in our own way. And once we accept that and embrace that, you will begin to take your art or creativity to the next level. So just always keep that in mind.

[A]

I love that When I think about this question, for me, it starts with listening. I think it's really kind of laugh at myself a lot because I'm so over the top and I have a lot of energy and.

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm. And I put out so much content and I'm always talking and I always wonder. I'm like, man, I wonder if people realize, like 98% of my time is actually listening, you know? For me, the creative process comes from a place. I think one of the reasons people struggle with having their creative achieve what they want is because it comes from a selfish place instead of a selfless place. I think the reason so much works for me in my creative output and content is almost all of it comes from reading all the messages I get every day, which then gives me an insight to the temperament of the collective, which then allows me a starting point to create. People ask me a lot of, like, because I've been doing it for a while now and I've been putting out content for so long, they're like, I've seen a change in you, Gary. This and that. I'm like, it's because I'm listening. You know, it ebbs and flows.

[B]

You're a true vessel, man. It's really like not a. It's really not a coincidence. You are who you are. You are somebody who really is getting these messages to you and you cat. And it's like, that's why you got so much energy, because you got to get it out jumping out your seat. And that's beautiful, man. Like, I'm really honored to just sit next to you. I'm. We've. We've been talking about getting up for so long, so I'm just so happy to see you face to face. Because a lot of these people, A lot of these people that we love and make plans with, they're gone. You know what I'm saying? That's happened so many times in my life. Family members, friends. I'm gonna be there. No, I'll come next year. I'll be there next year. Here. Oh, you know, now I'm gonna get with you later on. Next thing you know, it's like you. You can't predict how long someone's going to be here, you know, so that's one of the biggest lessons too, I learned is that whatever you could do now, do it now. Yeah, do it now. Experience. You know, we see how fast life is going, we see how. How quick things are happening. Like, do it now. Do it now. The power of now is another great. A great one that is real important to apply on a daily basis. But yeah, man, you're a vessel, man. That's why you be so, like, excited and so much content and it's awesome. Thank you.

[A]

Hey, everybody. Actually, I'm sorry to be jumping in the middle of the podcast, but the truth is I'm like shitting the bed on this. Everybody else is getting people to review on Spotify and Apple and like, the Vayner Nation does none of that because I've never asked. So if this podcast has ever meant anything to you, please go to Spotify or Apple right now and leave a review. By the way, even if you give me a one star review because you think it's shit, I respect it. But just leave a review, an actual review, four or five stars, and the actual details of why. Yeah, that would mean something for me. So thanks. Now back to the podcast.

[C]

You, I mean, you both are such vessels, and I think you both are such paradigm shifters and have created work that will outlast you. Not just outlast you. Right. But work that will help generations. So if someone discovered something either of you did in a hundred years, I feel that it would be meaningful and masterful. Sean, you've added to your repertoire.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So, like, global music icon is not enough. He is now.

[B]

That's funny.

[C]

You are an author. You have a book that is out in January.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Go higher. I had a chance to read it.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

It's phenomenal. It's a really powerful book that is filled with so much authentic inspiration, like so much deeply authentic Inspiration. So many ways that you have created your life, created your experiences in yourself.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

But something that I think is so special is it's not just your story. It's the wisdom you've gleaned and it's your practices. So this book is for. Filled with real practices for higher consciousness, for someone to be able to truly tap into that next layer of creativity or that next layer and understanding of your own healing. What called you to write it and then how was this process for you?

[B]

Well, I grew up with a lot of, like, guardian angels in the forms of, like, my parents, my mom, you know, or my grandma. And yesterday we went to this movie premiere where we celebrated. My grandma, she was a female black captain in World War II, and she was part of this. The Six Triple Eight Battalion. And they were kind of like the morale of the military. So they, like, boosted the military because they were able to connect 17, over 17 million pieces of mail from Europe back home to their loved ones, right? And before they were almost starting to lose the war because they didn't have any motivation. They couldn't see who they were fighting for. And what these strong black women were able to accomplish was something that a lot of other people that tried to come before them couldn't figure out how to do it. Have a successful communicative male system of back and forth. So, you know, my grandma was a very modest person, and she kind of would tell us, but it wasn't until Tyler Perry made this movie about the group of women that she was a part of. And I felt so connected to her. And she was the best grandma in the world. Like, I'm talking, like, Sunday dinners. She would bake our favorite cakes on our birthday. Mine was a pound cake and my brother's was a coffee cake. And she was the first one to introduce me to books and reading, you know, from books like the Hobbit. And then it was like the Secrets to the Richest man who Ever lived. And that book isn't. It's about King Solomon. And it isn't necessarily the. It's not about being rich in money. It's about really being. Being rich in all sorts of ways and really being your best self. And then I got introduced, from my mom, you know, the seven Spiritual laws and asking. It is given by Esther and Jerry Hicks and all of these things, right? So I knew at 11 years old, I wanted to be a rapper. That's what. That's what I was going to be. I ain't know how, but I just knew it was going to happen, right? So the beautiful mom that I have was the first person I rapped for. And at that time, my mom is a very protective person. We grew up in Detroit. So just to put in perspective, our neighbor, both my neighbors, sold drugs. You know, at the time, who was probably the most popular rapper, I'll probably say, like gangsta rap for sure, was like, I was like playing doggy style, Snoop Dogg, all shit in my house, getting Tupac, you know, Biggie, right? So when I wanted to rap, even though that's not what she was really, my mom was a teacher. She was an English teacher. She still supported me because she saw how important my dream was, and she really could have shitted on my whole existence at that moment. She could have been like, nah, don't do that. That's not what you're gonna do, you know, And. But she didn't. She supported it. And it's something I took serious as a job since I was 11 years old, right? So when I did get my chance of, like, unrealistic fairy tale story of rapping for my idol, getting discovered, having a record deal, selling 185 million records or whatever, some crazy. All of these things, right? It was really because of the foundation that was set by these, like, women in my house. These beautiful. My mom, my grandma, and my dad as well. Because his rise to school really helped a lot. I was blessed. But, you know, when I sat with my homie Jay Shetty and I was telling him my story, he was like, everyone doesn't have that. That angel of a mom that you had. Everyone doesn't have these things. You need to tell your story and use some of your practices. Because there are people who are confused about their lives and not know how to get from point A to point B to point C mentally, you know, and you could really help some people. So he was the one who put in perspective of me to even write a book. You know what I'm saying? It was something I always wanted to do. But I remember when I got a chance to talk to Kobe and I was supposed to link with him and play him some new music and stuff. And a couple months later, he was gone. I remember when Nipsey Hussle hit me up and was like, man, let's finish this song. Come to my video. And I'm like, damn, it's kind of far. I'm gonna catch you next time. And he's gone, right? So many family members. My auntie, auntie, I'm gonna see you soon. You know, I go overseas I'm doing shows, she's gone. And I realized that I gotta do. I had to do it right now. And the importance. And when I had a son, when that boy came, it's like that. It puts in perspective of how fast life really goes. They grow like, and develop. And you know what, what kind of man would I be by having the experiences and seeing the miracles I've seen? I'm blind behind the miracles I've seen and not put it into something that you can hold and read and experience, you know, it's not enough. Just through the music. Like I'll put a song out and I'll talk about something, you know, I got a song called Boundaries. A song called One man could change all these things, but it's not enough. So I realized that, let me put these practices that are easy practices and you can take. Every time I read a book like this, I take notes on it personally because I like to look back at the notes. If I take a two day, three day break, I like to come back and really be writing that vibration, you know. So that is the reason why I wrote the book. Because there are people that come from where I come from that may not have the same guidance that I had. And I'm just trying to give them some, some free game of. Not just from me and experiences that I've learned, but from all of these masters that I've gotten a chance to sit with and talk with and take a piece of information from. Not just the music industry, but also spiritual mentors and also, you know, World War II veterans and all of these amazing practices and mindsets that I've been able to be exposed to and that I had and that I kind of have been sitting on, I kind of have not been sharing, I kind of not have been expressing all the way. And so I'm very, very excited to start my journey as an author and start expressing that.

[C]

Congratulations, it's such a beautiful work.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you everybody. Don't forget to hit that Amazon cart too, because it's out in January.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, whether you, whether you do buy it or pre order it or you buy it or pass it on, however it is, however it gets to you. Some of my books that changed my life were books that were given to me from someone else who read them and was like, you got to check this out, man. You know, so however you can get it. And if it's something you need, if it's something you feel like, you know, some of you guys are completely satisfied with your lives and exactly where you need to be. Maybe you don't need that, but for. For, like, someone like myself who, you know, deals with life a certain way, and it's kind of like I get all of these spiritual practices. It's like putting a layer of armor on, and no matter what hits me, me, it's like, it's able to bounce off of me. It's able. I'm able to get. Bounce back from it instead of it. Instead of, like, it used to really affect me and tear me down, and I used to be bitter, and it. And it would affect my output in every other aspect of my life. And that's not the case anymore. So I hope that it can impact you. It is a lot of stories of my life in there, just to give, like, examples of things and. Yeah, I really can't believe that. Like, yeah, it's like. It's here. Wow.

[C]

It's here. And Gary.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

This big old baby. So you published your first children's book this year, and Day Trading, which is a bestseller. And in this book, you have also. That one's about bestseller. That is the children's book. And within those characters, yes, you were bringing. And it's interesting because you've really laid the scene for this and everything that you've said, but it's all about positivity, and it's all about kind of driving positivity in children and in the way that they feel about themselves. What is your strategy behind this, and why do you find it to be so important, especially through this moment?

[A]

Medium TikTok was a really big moment in my career because in 17, you know, I was paying a lot of attention to musically in 15 and 16. I was an early investor in an app called Tumblr back in the day. And I thought it was going to be bigger than Facebook and Twitter, which were two other companies I invested in during that time. And it was because I was fascinated that Tumblr was focused on the interest graph, not the social graph.

[B]

Gary, are you rich?

[A]

Sometimes I'm playing.

[B]

Go ahead. I'm just messing with that.

[A]

And I was obsessed with Tumblr. I thought that what you're interested in was something really powerful, not who you follow. And I was in an interesting age when social hit. I was 31, 32. So I'd gone through the high school, college thing and was on the other side and realized how many people that you're friends with in high school and college. It's a different relationship. And things evolve in your early 30s and as everyone remembers, that's what Facebook was built on and early Twitter. And so it became obvious to me that interest was gonna matter. Musical ly came along and it was the first platform that was around the interest, not who you follow. Obviously, TikTok bought that. I explode on TikTok early. I yell and scream to all of you to jump on it. I know some of you did, and that was good. I know a lot of you wish you did back when I was yelling about it. But what happened for me was my audience got dramatically younger. So instead of when I would go to the airport or anywhere else, 25, 27, 42 year olds came up to me. Now all of a sudden in 2018, I have 13, 14, 15, 16 year olds coming up to me. And I'm doing what I always do, which is I listen and I realize and this is not some profound statement, but it was so real for me in this one year moment, two year moment, I was like, fuck, this 14 year old is getting this and is gonna do something with this because he or she is not as molded and not as far along as a 25, 27 year old. Back to sayings, meaning things. Old dog, new tricks. You know, it is harder when you've been in your ways for 35 years. It takes a lot of people here, know exactly what I'm about to say. It takes more work, real work, to change up your shit when you've been doing it for 40 years one way. But when you're 14, you're still molding. So that was a huge chapter. It's been a very bright chapter for me. Feeling the effects of some of these kids in their early 20s that started to understand success was peace of mind, not a piece of paper, right? And so that was huge. And then I said, fuck it. You know, what's, you know, I was like, 20 was good. I'm like, you know, what's better than 2014? And I was like, you know what's better than 14? 4. I was like, fuck this. I'm going earlier. And so meet Me in the Middle is an interesting book if you look at it like it's positivity based on accountability. Eager Eagle. Impatient pig. They're fucking awesome. I love them.

[B]

Eager Eagle is you, man. Eager Eagle is you.

[A]

Eager Eagle is me. And you know what happens when you're eager or ambitious or hungry or want it. If you go too hard, you become sloppy. If you go too far in anything that is good, it becomes a vulnerability. Patient pig. Patience. We just talked about it, but if you go too far with patience, it becomes completely complacency. If you take patience too far, it becomes non action or even worse, laziness. So what this is trying to teach kids is like get your shit in the middle. This isn't left or right, it's the middle. This isn't blue or red, this shit's purple. It's balance. One of the biggest issues in our society just to go on a real serious kick because anytime I have a platform, I go there. We've become incredibly good at blaming technology for anxiety and depression. When you look at the data, I promise you this will be understood sooner than later. It is the over coddling and entitlement of modern parenting. We've gone, it was well intended. A lot of us overcompensated for how our parents generation did it. But when you start going to a place where you are getting kids into a place of complete no accountability, when you are paying for your 26 year old's existence, they're not in a good place. I promise you. I promise you. And so when, when you know, I had a kid come up to me the other day and he was like, you know, I'm really fucked up. This, this. And he's all taught and I was like, I said stop taking your parents money there. Do you know that there's people out there taking money from their parents in their 20s and shitting on their parents?

[B]

Isn't that crazy?

[A]

It's fucking crazy.

[B]

It is crazy.

[A]

We have completely lost our way. And you know who I blame? The parents. I have parents come to me because I talk about this and they're like, Gary, you're right, it's all fucked up. I'm like, so stop giving it to them. They're like, what do I do? I'm like don't give them the money. Like you know, and so we have over coddled, we have to find the middle. And I think the faster you find the middle, the faster you get happy. And so that's why I wrote the book.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

I've been giving my parents money now so it's like let me use that on that in that way too. But no, you're right. Balance, balance is, balance is very key.

[A]

It's so real. It is, it's so real. Like you're always in trouble if you're, if you're not finding and what, what this goes back to notice what I said at first, health, where did I go? Second, self awareness. If you're self aware you realize you might be skewing too much here or too much there, then you can start holding yourself accountable. And yeah, I just, I think we're in an issue of entitlement.

[B]

Gary, what about this though?

[A]

Because this is like the, this is actually really funny based on those two books. This is the complete opposite. I like to write books in either one side or the other. It's either going to be very philosophical, what I call clouds, or I like to go deep into the dirt. Day Trading Attention is a tactical textbook on how to teach everyone here to take advantage of the single biggest opportunity in the actual world, which is the seven social networks that have a dominant force of human attention. The sheer amount of attention, like man and women hours in the world that sit on the seven platforms from LinkedIn to YouTube to Twitter to Facebook to Instagram, TikTok is staggering. And stick with me, now it's fucking free. I know you can buy ads, but I think all of you know it does not cost to post. And I think a lot of you know, in the last three years the game got switched up and it doesn't matter how many followers you have anymore, the content itself is getting the reach. This is a profound opportunity. It is profound and I really don't know why people are not fully taking advantage of it. I do know because they make philosophical things for themselves, like, especially a group like this, like I don't want the technology or the algorithm's bad or China or some dumb shit. And in reality, and in reality, I will tell you right now, in reality, whatever you want to happen for you, whether it is extremely noble or short term selfish and interesting for you of like wanting to buy something, there is no quicker path than to be dominant on creating content organically on social. But it's a fucking skill. It's fucking hard. People think it's like, ah, I'll take this photo. No, no, it's real and it's different on every platform. And so I wrote a real textbook. I wrote a book 10 years ago called Jab jab jab right hook that really hit for a lot of people and it helped them. This is the 301 to that 101 and it's been very, very fulfilling getting the emails every single day from. Yes, we work with iconic brands. Ulta Chase like, but a small shop owner who's trying to make it selling flight flowers in like a suburb of Denver. Reading this, putting one post, this is how it works now. One post that hits and gets them over the hump of stressing if they can pay rent for their Location that is incredibly fulfilling. And I'm gonna say something because I just want it on fucking wax, as they used to say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You are all gonna regret not taking advantage of this era. There is new technology being built and every day that is going to move us away from the phone. The glasses thing is real and it's coming. The social thing will evolve just like every platform. Print, radio, television. You have your golden era. This is the golden era of social. It's free. And you are not squeezing that orange enough. I promise you.

[B]

I'm going to get to squeezing. I'm going to get to squeezing. That's really well said. And you're. And you're 100% right.

[A]

And you look at your world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One song like it's insanity. A kid could be in the middle of nowhere. Chile puts it out one tick tock.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah, that's different. We, we take it for granted because we're living in it. But it's free. Do you understand that? Attention is the singular asset. It's free. It does not cost to post. People are like, oh, the algorithm's fucking me up. Fucking, I got Shadow banned. Fucking zucks. I'm like, it's fucking free. It's fucking free. I do not understand how people don't understand this. So that's it.

[C]

So that's it. Okay. I don't want to take up all the time myself. We are going to open it up to the audience for three questions. We have two icons with incredible amounts of wisdom. So I'm going to go to the hands I saw first. We'll start here in the yellow. If we have someone help with a mic, please. Someone is coming this way. Thank you, Gary. Thank you so much. I want to talk about the work personal life balance. As a mom of three with big goals and big dreams, it's really hard to even leave my kids to be here today. But it was a hard yes for me.

[B]

Congratulations.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

You have to choose your. Choose your hard, as they say, you. I don't know. You wanna know?

[A]

I do, actually. I have a lot of passion for this one. Who gets to be the judge and jury of the balance. I've like, what is work life balance? Let me give you one man's unique point of view on work life balance. If you work a 9 to 5, 40 hours a week and you hate that fucking job, you have no fucking balance. But that's not how we define it, right? Like who gets to define the work life balance? The other thing I always try to tell People is stop beating yourself up on this. You don't remember 99% of the shit that your parents picked on work life balance growing up as a kid, promise. So, like, maybe this will liberate somebody. It is okay to occasionally miss a recital or a game. I promise. And this young woman, I was on tour in Asia, and after a talk in Singapore, the Philippines, this young woman, she was like 27, 28, she was talking about her mom was one of the biggest judges in the country her whole life. She felt her absence at these events, recitals, the moms were all there, not hers. And then she said something that completely shook me. I'll never forget it, hence why I'm bringing it up, she said. And then I was 24 and I realized my mom showed me how to live. She didn't tell me how to live. So what I'm saying is you just don't know. And you know, especially if anybody here is one of multiple kids, you have siblings, or if you're a parent of multiple children, you also know that DNA is a motherfucker, meaning you could do the same damn thing. And one kid sees it one way and one kid sees it completely the other way. So I think, who the fuck is the judge and the jury of work life balance? You are, your partner is. And that's the only game that matters. And it ebbs and flows. There's chapters for some people that are building right now. There's moments where you have to put your head down and you're building for you and for your family and for you is okay. Because if you're not good, then you're not gonna do any good.

[B]

Yeah, that word boundaries is really important too.

[C]

So good.

[B]

Set your boundaries. It's okay. The people who love you and the people who understand, they're gonna understand those boundaries 100 and you. And you're gonna be even. Even a better partner. Mother. You know, everything you are. You're going to be even better when you take care of yourself first. And I get it. Especially when they're super young. But it's up to you to establish that, like, dynamic. And they'll love you for it. They'll have.

[A]

They'll love to see we have coconut drinks here. Yeah, that looks delicious.

[C]

Someone could Gary a coconut.

[B]

You know what I mean, though? You see? You see what I'm saying? At boundaries, it's real important. It's a real important word.

[C]

I would. I would love to add to that too, because I don't believe at all in work life balance. There is no such thing. And we have just got to get that out of our terminology. But I do believe in harmony and I feel like sometimes it is a deficit, right? Sometimes that is going to happen. But how can you find the best way to harmonize whatever is present so that there is some level of flow even if you're out of balance and just find more ways to see what uniquely fills your children's cup. I cannot always be there for my 6 year old. I wish.

[B]

You know, she's an incredible mom by the way too. She really is.

[C]

Thank you so much. And likewise, by the way.

[A]

I'm sorry to interrupt this, but I want to jump in. And it's good that you're not always there. This goes back to how we got to this level of depression and anxiety. We have to stop building bubble babies. Kids need to skin their knee. Kids need to be scared. I think kids need to start fighting again. I'm being dead serious, Fight club. I think, I think you are not a real man until you get punched in the fucking mouth. I'm serious about this. We've gotten to a place where we've only. I get it, bro, you're laughing, but I'm being dead fucking serious about this. The elimination of adversity. The over coddling. We created zoo animals. You know what they used to do with zoo animals? They would hold them for a while. They put them in the wild. Those motherfucking zebras got killed in a minute. Cause they were in the zoo, not in the wild. That's our children now. I had a fucking kid ask if their parent could come to the interview at the company the other day. My friends and all the gasps. Just think about the dumb shit you're doing for your kid. If you ever complain to a teacher about their grade, you're fucking up. Let them get these like we are over coddling the fuck of our children. Let make them do everything.

[C]

Well, I think we need to be more aware about our children because we're coddling them in a way that's the same. Society is just saying do this, do that, do that, do this. But what does your child uniquely need? And the more awareness we have, the more one on one understanding.

[A]

You know? You know, you know what else? And it always starts with good intentions. I promise you, whoever came up with 8th place trophies, it was good intentions. Right? It wasn't like they were trying to fuck shit up. But I will promise you right now, one of the worst, worst things that ever happened was eighth place trophies. We're teaching kids to be Scared of losing. Losing is so bad we have to give you a fucking trophy even though you fucking suck in soccer. What do you think happens when people become 23? In that framework, my friends, your relationship with losing is the direct correlation to your happiness. If you fucking fall in love with losing, you become fucking unstoppable.

[B]

Wow, so accurate. What were you saying? Did you want to do? Were you finished saying? Because as a mother, and then, you know, we can only speak from a male's perspective of as a woman and a mother, is there anything you want to do?

[C]

I would just say if this is useful and for anyone else. But, you know, as someone that does. I travel a lot. I'm gone like half the week. But I also am a single mom, so I'm at first grade dropping my kid off and doing all the things. And I found that to find that harmony for myself, it's about seeing what are the ways that he receives joy and love the best. And I think for each child it's different. But I try to feed his cup and fill it up based on what most uniquely meets his heart. And so for us, that means again, I may, like, I'm gone for a couple days now or like three sleep, as I like to call it with him, but what I try to do is the second he wakes up, I FaceTimed him at like 4 in the morning. And then it's like we're getting that 10 minutes in and you're getting filled with love. And then right before bed, there's no one that does bath or story time. And so you find the things. And I found that that, at least in this moment, feels like enough for him. And it allows me to do what God is asking me to do. Yeah. Thank you. And we'll take our last question here. Thank you.

[D]

Thank you. Just quickly on that same. On that same note of feeling your cup, because I shared, I work with moms in helping them reconnect with themselves and transition from women to motherhood without losing themselves. It's not only thinking about filling your kid's cup, but your own. So if you are doing things that fuel you, and you just said it beautifully, you're setting the example, you're showing your kid how. How to live their own life, because especially women. Women and mothers, sorry, mothers of girls. I have a baby girl. And if I don't do this, if I'm not here today, I'm not letting her know that she can do it herself. If whoever aspires to be president of whichever country in this world doesn't go into the ballot and put themselves out there. I'm telling my daughter or my kid that that's not available for themselves. So I believe in, in work life integration. I love the word harmony, so I'll use that one from now on as well. But thank you for sharing. I think extending an invitation to all women, all mothers and men, because it's a teamwork. So instead of thinking that society puts all these limits on ourselves, what are we buying and how are we changing that narrative? Because it's not only for us, but if we're doing things that fuel us, we can show up as better mothers, as better community members, as just better people. And the world needs better people right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

That word communication, too, is such an important. Communicate to your loved ones, to. Even to your kids. They're smart. At a young age, they're smart. And if you communicate to them properly, you know, communication is just, it's. It's the energy of God. I say communication is the bridge to salvation that God is holding our hands to walk across. And just like any bridge, you can't skip a step to get to the other side. So as long as we communicate and explain why things are changing, hey, this is why mommy has to be gone more. This is why Daddy has to be gone more. And they'll want you to be happy. They want you to feel good, you know, Know, it's like, yeah, they want what they want, but when you explain to them and, and really go the extra step of being such a good, that's such a good, you know, facetiming your son at 4 in the morning, sheesh, that's, you know, and it gets brutal. It gets brutal, but the rewards are, are even more rewarding than the brutalness of it all. So, you know, communicating to whoever it is that is in your ethos, in your universe, I feel like that is like the number one way to, you know, get to set your boundaries and go to where you need to go at in life. You know, it's all up to you.

[A]

I think that's right. I want to jump on one thing before we get out of here. You said the world needs more better people. I actually have a slight tweak on that, that I challenge a lot of people here because I again know a lot of people that are here right now. Looking around the audience, the world has a stunning amount of good people. The problem is that negativity is very good at marketing and very good at being loud. Positivity. There are many positive good people here they stay to themselves. When I think about what I do for a living, I am willing to take the risks and the ramifications of being out there because it comes with plenty. Because I think it is important to be a communicator of practical positivity. I would challenge a lot of people here to start posting more positivity for them not to flex what you've got going on. Putting out more good. Because that's what's happening. The negativity is loud and is marketing. The positivity is you're keeping it to yourself and staying good and keeping it selfish for you. We do not have enough courage right now from people that are loving and positive because oftentimes they don't have the stomach for the negativity that comes back.

[C]

That is so. That is real. Wow.

[B]

Yeah. Cause sometimes I definitely don't be feeling like sharing nothing. I be like, man, this is such a.

[C]

We keep all this joy just for me.

[A]

I would argue it's one of the biggest single contributions that people can be making right now, putting out a piece of content, especially with the way the algorithms are working about something that is positive. If more people, you know how many people, when they have a bad experience at the airport, get on social and take a shit on the airline. But you know how many people go on social when somebody opens the door and says, have a nice day today? Them. Nobody. We keep positivity to ourselves. And we are marketers of negativity. We must change that because that's what's got everyone confused. We spend all our energy on the 0001 negative and negative people. When the world is remarkably positive. We need to be better at communicating the positivity. We have unlimited good people. We need good people to talk.

[C]

Oh, come, let the revolution begin. My God. Before we get out of here, first, I just want to say profound reverence and gratitude to each of you for what you bring to the world and what you brought to each of us today. This was powerful beyond measure. I can't wait to watch the video because I just feel that so many see seeds were planted in our hearts that we can explore in so much of the future. So thank you both for being here. Thank you both for your commitment to the art and the work that you put forward.

[B]

Thank you. And yes to you. Thank you.

[A]

And to you.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, and everyone here gets a copy of my book as well, so enjoy. Yeah, it's in their bags. It's in the gift bag. So enjoy that. It's a. It's kind of an earlier version, so you might see a typo or two or like. Oh, they redeem. Oh, it's not in there. My bad.

[A]

It's a postcard redemption.

[B]

Oh, it's a postcard redemption. Okay, there you go. There you go. Okay, my bad.

[A]

It's still free, 99. Still free, 99.

[B]

She didn't mean today.

[C]

Now you just don't have to find room in your suitcase.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you. I hope you enjoy it.

[A]

Thank you, everybody. Have a great new year. Thank you.

[C]

Thank you. It.