Tea with GaryVee Ep #78: From Procrastination to Progress - Real Talk

Summary

Podcast Summary: The GaryVee Audio Experience

Episode: Tea with GaryVee Ep #78: From Procrastination to Progress - Real Talk
Host: Gary Vaynerchuk
Release Date: August 1, 2025

In this empowering episode of Tea with GaryVee, host Gary Vaynerchuk delves deep into the challenges of overcoming procrastination to achieve meaningful progress. Through a series of candid listener questions, Gary offers real talk, actionable advice, and his characteristic blend of tough love and optimism. This summary captures the essence of the discussions, highlighting key insights and notable quotes to inspire listeners to take decisive action in their personal and professional lives.

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1. James' Dilemma: Resentment in the Family Business

Question:
James, 37 years old, has been working in his family's roofing business for six years. Despite significant growth driven by social media, he faces resistance from his father when proposing new ideas. Feeling resentful and contemplating whether to leave or persist in hopes of future recognition.

Gary's Advice:
Gary unequivocally recommends that James "Cut and move on" (00:26). Drawing from his own experience of leaving at 34, Gary emphasizes that "You're never in too deep" for any job, business partnership, or relationship. He challenges the notion of being too entrenched to make a change, arguing that lasting fulfillment outweighs the fear of starting anew.

Notable Quote:
"You're never in too deep on a job, you're never in too deep on a business partnership, you're never in too deep on a business idea, you're never in too deep on a relationship." (00:59)

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2. Christina's Personal Loss and Empowering the Elderly on Social Media

Question:
Christina shares her struggle with getting her 75-year-old mother to engage in live streaming on social media following her father's passing. Her mother feels purposeless without her husband and is hesitant to share her story online.

Gary's Insight:
Gary underscores the untapped potential of the 75 to 100-year-old demographic on social media (04:32). He believes that this age group holds unparalleled wisdom and moral guidance, which could significantly enrich online communities. He encourages Christina to "interview her mother every morning with five questions" to ease her into streaming and to showcase her mother's valuable life experiences.

Notable Quote:
"I believe the 75 to 100 year olds are the most important group of people that should be posting on social media." (04:32)

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3. Mike's Forced Whatnot Streaming: Navigating Job Pressure

Question:
Mike is being coerced by his boss to conduct a Whatnot stream on Saturday under the threat of termination. He seeks advice on handling his first show.

Gary's Approach:
Gary adopts a blend of tough love and practical strategies (08:26). He motivates Mike by highlighting his growth over the past six months and urges him to "commit to it all day", emphasizing preparation and leveraging social media to drive viewership. Gary also hints at making Mike an example to inspire others, regardless of the outcome.

Notable Quote:
"If you're in too deep with something that's wrong, you need to get the fuck out." (00:26)
(Note: This quote is generalized across Gary's responses emphasizing taking action when stuck.)

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4. Navigating Virtual Sex Work as a Financial Strategy

Question:
A listener contemplates entering platforms like OnlyFans to alleviate debt, questioning the viability and moral implications of virtual sex work.

Gary's Perspective:
Gary adopts a non-judgmental stance, asserting that "everybody has a different moral compass" (11:13). He acknowledges the legitimacy of seeking income through legal means and suggests alternative methods like live social shopping on Whatnot as viable options. Gary encourages leveraging existing tools like ChatGPT to overcome technical barriers and emphasizes the importance of action over hesitation.

Notable Quote:
"Do I think they should? No, I don't think anybody should do anything. Do I think that they're allowed because they're a human being and trying to get out of debt?" (11:13)

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5. Ray's Struggle with Identity and External Validation

Question:
Ray expresses frustration about how his church, family, and relationships question his career choices, making him feel "less than" compared to peers in traditional jobs.

Gary's Response:
Gary challenges Ray's reliance on external validation, urging him to "put their opinions above yours" (13:30). He praises Ray's achievements as a digital pioneer and reinforces the importance of self-worth derived from personal convictions rather than societal expectations.

Notable Quote:
"Why are you putting their opinions above yours?" (13:30)

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6. Building an Audience that Truly Cares

Question:
A listener seeks strategies to cultivate a genuine and engaged audience on social media platforms like TikTok, particularly for sharing and selling art.

Gary's Strategy:
Gary emphasizes the importance of consistent content creation over the specifics of initial posts (17:17). He advises posting daily, experimenting with different content types, and doubling down on what resonates with the audience. Gary dismisses the obsession with the "perfect first post," advocating for authenticity and relentlessness.

Notable Quote:
"It’s not about your first post. It’s about posting every day until the content that works, works." (17:17)

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7. Josh's Business Growth and Overcoming Comparison

Question:
Josh, who has been running a financial services agency for nearly three years, feels frustrated by slower-than-expected growth and struggles with comparing his progress to others.

Gary's Advice:
Gary tackles the issue of comparison and envy, urging Josh to "stop comparing themselves to others" (20:08). He advocates for daily content creation and authentic outreach, such as personal messaging to potential clients, to drive business growth. Gary stresses the importance of execution over mere consumption of advice.

Notable Quote:
"Comparison, envy, jealousy is destroying your fucking life. Please stop doing that." (20:08)

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8. Savannah's Marketing Strategies During Personal Transition

Question:
Savannah, a marketing strategist, seeks guidance on adapting her marketing strategies amidst personal growth and helping clients who are overly focused on metrics like follower counts.

Gary's Insight:
Gary distinguishes between conviction and convincing, advising Savannah to lead with unwavering belief in her strategies (conviction) rather than merely trying to persuade clients (convincing) (25:27). He highlights the necessity of authentic belief to inspire and guide others effectively, suggesting that true change comes from steadfast commitment to one's principles.

Notable Quote:
"The way you get someone through something is conviction, not convincing." (25:27)

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9. Corey's Imposter Syndrome in a New Role

Question:
Corey recently secured a dream position as a business development manager but is battling imposter syndrome, doubting his capabilities despite past successes.

Gary's Take:
Gary dismisses the term "imposter syndrome" as a euphemism for insecurity, urging Corey to own his insecurities and work through them (29:39). He advises surrounding himself with positive influences and emphasizes that feeling insecure is a natural part of personal growth. Gary's no-nonsense approach encourages embracing vulnerability to build genuine confidence.

Notable Quote:
"Imposter syndrome is fucking contemporary slang for insecure." (29:39)

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10. Erin's Multitude of Business Ideas and Fear of Missing Out

Question:
Erin has numerous business ideas and is already working on one but fears missing out if she doesn't pursue all of them. She wonders whether to focus solely on one idea or continue juggling multiple projects.

Gary's Guidance:
Gary supports Erin's entrepreneurial spirit, stating that "both can work" and emphasizes the importance of taking action over rigidly sticking to a single path (31:36). He shares his own experience of managing multiple businesses simultaneously, encouraging Erin to "do" rather than just plan or ponder. Gary highlights that fear of failure often hinders progress and urges embracing diverse opportunities to maximize potential.

Notable Quote:
"I don't give a fuck if she does 10 things or one thing. I just need her to do." (31:36)

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Conclusion

In this episode, Gary Vaynerchuk delivers unfiltered and motivating advice to listeners grappling with procrastination, self-doubt, and the challenges of personal and professional growth. His emphasis on taking decisive action, maintaining authenticity, and prioritizing self-worth over external validation serves as a powerful blueprint for anyone looking to transition from stagnation to progress. Through real talk and practical strategies, Gary empowers his audience to break free from their limitations and pursue their ambitions with renewed vigor.

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Notable Quotes Summary:

1. "You're never in too deep on a job, you're never in too deep on a business partnership, you're never in too deep on a business idea, you're never in too deep on a relationship." (00:59)

2. "I believe the 75 to 100 year olds are the most important group of people that should be posting on social media." (04:32)

3. "Why are you putting their opinions above yours?" (13:30)

4. "It’s not about your first post. It’s about posting every day until the content that works, works." (17:17)

5. "Comparison, envy, jealousy is destroying your fucking life. Please stop doing that." (20:08)

6. "The way you get someone through something is conviction, not convincing." (25:27)

7. "Imposter syndrome is fucking contemporary slang for insecure." (29:39)

8. "I don't give a fuck if she does 10 things or one thing. I just need her to do." (31:36)

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Note: Timestamps correspond to the transcript provided and aid in locating the original context of the quotes.

Transcript

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Welcome to Tea with Gary Vee. This is where I answer your questions. Erin, get on the mics.

[Erin]

This is a question from James. I started working for my family's roofing business six years ago and we've had massive growth. Although almost all of our growth has been because of social media videos, trying a new idea is still like pulling teeth with my dad who owns the business. I have a lot of resentment because I'm 37 now and I feel like I'm in too deep to start something new. Should I cut and move on or just stay the path until one day he finally sees the value.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Cut and move on. I live this life. I left at 34 now. My dad let me do everything. The problem was he let me do everything and I built a huge business and he owned the business and I was getting paid nothing. So my resentment was slightly different. And in hindsight it was like, I'm so glad I did it. If he's resenting, he should move on. He's not in too deep. You're never in too deep. You're never in too deep on a job, you're never in too deep on a business partnership, you're never in too deep on a business idea, you're never in too deep on a relationship. I love when people are like, am I too deep? What's his name?

[Erin]

James.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

James, you're 37 years old. If God willing, James dies at 87, which I would argue would be too young for someone who's 37 today, given modern medicine. He's living for another 50 years. I'm very upset about this in too deep thing. Everybody's like, I can't. Yesterday that lady I got pissed at, if you notice her question, she's like, I'd be giving up everything I've done. She's only worked there for seven years. James, you're 37, you're not in too deep. I talked to, this is real, by the way. I talked to like a family member, family member's friend, an 81 year old woman over the holidays. She divorced her husband of 60 years. This is real. She divorced her husband of 60 years and she was hyped about her life and she did it like, I won't go in deeper, but. But she didn't think she was in too deep to a 60 year old marriage being. She was actually 79, 58 years into a marriage at 69 years old. She didn't think she was so deep. She was now living her life. She was no longer in a suppressed marriage. She was seeing the world. She was seeing her side of the family. She was hanging with her kids. She didn't think she was too deep. The fuck is too deep? So many of you this morning are not jumping to your happiness because you think you're in too deep. I've worked at that company for 10 years. I'd be giving up everything that you've. I put in. What are you talking about? You're miserable. I've been with. You know, there's a, there's a 29 year old woman right now watching who's been dating the Same guy for 11 years and she knows he's a fucking idiot, but she's been in it for 11 years. She's like, I'm 29. What am I gonna go fucking on Tinder now? Like, like, like. And like I almost 30. And like, what am I gonna have? Bait? Like, if you're in too deep with something that's wrong, you need to get the fuck out. What are you. This is insanity what people do, Aaron. What, are you gonna double down on what you know is fucked up? You know you hate your job. You know your idea is stupid. You know you're not happy in your relationship and because you've done it wrong for seven years, you're now deciding that you're gonna do it forever. The fuck are we talking about? So no, he's not in too deep. He's 37 years old. He may not want to be starting over, but do you think it was fun for me? After spending 12 years, 100 hours a week taking a local liquor store to the dot com leader in its industry, building a business from 3 to 60 million dollars that I had to start this company in another company's conference room because I couldn't afford to pay rent. Do you think that was like fun? I give advice that I live. All right, I'm ready for somebody else on the show. How are you?

[Christina]

I'm good. How are you?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm well. What's your name?

[Christina]

Can you hear me?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I can hear you. What's your name?

[Christina]

Hi, Mama Bear. I'm not officially doxed my full name. Some people have heard my name in spaces I go by. I'm Christina, but I go by my Bear because my husband's job I've trying to get my mom to stream with me. My dad passed the end of January. She said, what do I have to give? Your dad was my purpose. You kids were my purpose. And now I have nothing. I just want her around me.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I believe the 75 to 100 year olds are the most important group of people that should be posting on social media. My biggest plea is that we get a lot more 75 to 100 year olds to understand they have the most to contribute. In fact, I would argue the biggest issue in the world right now is that we have lost the moral compass, the civility, the grace, the sense of community, and definitely the wisdom that 75 to 100 year olds hold. And I believe that we have just lived through the era of 14 to 22 year olds that have become famous and have taken advantage of social. And I believe the next group that is going to take advantage of this is the 75 to 100-year-old crew. I think we will have a plethora of 75, 79, 84, 91 year old influencers if we continue to have incredible children like you pushing our parents to do this.

[Christina]

She says, well, what do I have to say? People aren't going to want to listen to me. Sorry, my phone.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The good news is, mama, you know this. The good news is everybody, everybody 8 to 88, feels insecure. What do I have to give? What do I have to give until the.

[Christina]

I mean, I'm almost 50. I'm insecure, right?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah.

[Christina]

I mean, no makeup and here I am. Hello, Gary.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Vee. How are you doing, Mama? I got a good one for you. I think the way you get her going is you tell her you're gonna interview her every morning with five questions. Oh, my God. I think most people struggle to start, but if they are interviewed, they can start.

[Christina]

I struggle to start because my ADD is undiagnosed. Till I was 40. It's been a challenge.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

And I'm Mama, I actually think it's your advantage. I actually think we have ADD and ADHD misunderstood right now. Most people that break out to other humans have some level of that because it's magic.

[Christina]

It is because we see people. I see. I know the struggle, right? I know how hard it is.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I couldn't even comprehend what I would have been diagnosed with as a child. They would have.

[Christina]

Oh, no, you and I would. We totally would have been like, totally.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I was standing on tables, I was selling in the back of the room. I was interrupting teachers. My friend Ken Scelfo, my friend Katskelfo, senior year, breakfast, took the mic and said, this was the. What do you remember about high school? His answer was, I remember the first day of the beginning of the year and in midterms, when we would try to figure out, like when we have new classes, that he prayed that I would be in his class because I was good for wasting seven to 13 minutes of every class of every.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think. I think that I sold gum in.

[Christina]

School, so I get it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah. Listen, mama, you need to tell her you're gonna interview her. And let me say something else about moms. Like, your mom, you need to just take full action. If she does not come and move, I think you need to hire kidnappers. I'm not kidding.

[Christina]

Oh, no, I just send her a ticket.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think strange men should just grab your mom, throw a paper bag over her head, and have her show up to your house. I'm not kidding.

[Christina]

I just send her a ticket. I really do. I just tell her. I'm like, mama, I got your ticket. You're coming this time to. This time. I've got a whole room set up. She get. We're going to go shopping. We have to go thrifting. Right. To buy the right furniture for her space. And we're just going to. I'm just. I'm just telling her that's it. Do life with us. She poured into us, and now I joy to pour into her.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Mama. I got to thank the flip raid people that just came in from the flip raid.

[Christina]

Flip raid.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm telling you. Flip raid. Let's talk about the flip raid raid.

[Christina]

Thank you, Gary. Have a great day.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Next question.

[Erin]

All right, I have a question from Mike. My boss is forcing me to do a whatnot stream on Saturday or he says he'll fire me. Any advice for my first show?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

All right, one more time.

[Erin]

What is it from Mike? My boss is forcing me to do a whatnot stream on Saturday. He says he'll fire me. Any advice for Mike?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yes, Mike, let me give you personal advice. If you're watching yesterday, this is the mic that's asking this question. Mike, couple things for you, like, what's going on right now behind the scenes, right? Obviously, something's not exactly the way you want it. Right? You got me. Sid's hanging over you. What's good is you need to. What? I was just watching you while I was doing my show. You're better than you were six months ago where you would have been really stressed. It's very true. Right. You've gotten more comfortable. You've contextualized things, even though I know you wanted everything on the switchboard to be perfect today. As soon as that one thing broke, you were like, fuck, Right? And you this and that. But you've kept your composure in a better way than you would have six months ago. I'm proud of you. Thank you, G. You're welcome. Now, you take that same growth and you bring it to whatnot on Saturday. You're right. I will want, and I mean this, Mike. I, Gary Vaynerchuk, will 100% fire you on Monday morning if you do not do a whatnot garage sale from your house on Saturday. I'm excited. I'm excited, too, because either I'm going to make an example of you that will help millions of people. I'll feel bad for you and I'll help you get another job, but I'll be able to use you as an example to help millions of people. Right. Because we'll clip it yesterday and then this clip and then I'll make another video. Be like, he was fired. We'll show your desk, right? Yeah. Or you are going to make $913 this Saturday selling shit you do not need. Shit that is collecting dust, shit that you forgot about, shit that you never used. And that's going to be happy and you're going to learn stuff through it. So my advice for you is to commit to it all day. My advice is for you to start going on whatnot tonight, tomorrow, and looking at how people do it differently than how we do it. Start finding your inventory tonight, looking around the house, gathering your stuff. What are you going to talk about? And I'm telling you, you know, I said it yesterday. The Andy Anderson to Zachary Zaslav Dming people. And then post on your social. Be like. And use me. Be like, guys, fucking Gary's making. Can you please tune in? So you just get a little bit of action. Yep. You know what I mean? For sure. And there you go. I appreciate you. You got it, bro. All right, let's keep going on with the show. Aaron, you're up.

[Erin]

All right. A man with debt asks. It seems everywhere you look, you are hearing people get into things like onlyfans and other forms of virtual sex work and making tons of money. Do you think it's a good idea to get into that? To make ends meet slash gain wealth?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I am not a fan of judging people's moral compasses unless they do something incredibly egregious. This is something where many people would judge. I struggle to judge. Do I think they should? No, I don't think anybody should do anything. Do I think that they're allowed because they're a human being and trying to get out of debt? They're allowed. If something is legal by the country standards that you work in. That. That is a data point. Everybody here on this, everybody watching right now has a different moral compass. I think first, it's hard. I love this idea of, like, oh, like, I'll just do only fans or I'll represent only fans. Like, it's hard. Everything's hard. Everything's hard. So I personally think live social shopping, I'm not bullshitting what Mike's going to do this Saturday. I think everybody who's watching me on whatnot right now, who needs money, should do a virtual garage sale this Saturday. They should literally go live with four people. Remember, they could have 50 people if they text everybody the URL to their show. If they don't know how to set up a show, they can chatgpt it. How do I set up a show on whatnot to sell stuff around my house? Like, I'm done hearing excuses now that you have ChatGPT and you have Google, you should never say, I don't know how. And they should work. And so anyway, I want everybody to do their first show on Saturday. Three months to whatnot is flooded. Yeah. MJ Designs, everything gets flooded. So why. So if it's in three months, start now. And by the way, when it's flooded, whoever's best wins. There are people going viral Today on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and they're super flooded. All right, I'm ready for somebody else on the show. Ray.

[Ray]

Hey, Gary. What's going on, brother? How you doing?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

What's up? Ray, it's so good to see you, man.

[Ray]

Good to see you, too. Can you hear me okay?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I can hear you. Great.

[Ray]

Awesome. First time on whatnot. Glad to be here. I get your emails. Followed you for years, as you know. And just check it out, brother. So congratulations to what you're doing and the platform. My question to you, Gary, and again, it's just exciting to be here and see you is what do you tell people that's people like me, you know, in my church, my family, relationships, they still ask me, do you get off on Columbus Day? They still ask me, are you looking for a job? They still ask me kind of what I do. Still kind of annoys me a bit, people asking me about this.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Why does it annoy you, Ray? Let's go there.

[Ray]

Actually, I guess a maybe I feel a bit less than when they have their jobs at McKinsey, at Pfizer.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Why are you putting their opinions above yours?

[Ray]

I don't have a good answer for that. It just feels. You feel left out. Maybe you want to feel normal.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I've watched your journey for 15 years. You and I grew up in that early Twitter era together. I. You know, it blows my mind that you would feel this way. I hate that for you. It's. What's good about you is, like, it's not. It's not destroying you. Not at all. You have. You have what I would call micro insecurities, you know, micro insecurities. Got it, my brother.

[Ray]

I like that. Gary Vaynerchuk.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

It's great to be with you, Ray. You are one of the people that I know of, the way I know that should least be feeling this way. You've been a digital pioneer. You're a tremendously good man. You work hard. You have very good intent. You're talented. And I, you know, I would. I'd like to hope that I've earned the ability that my words about you matter. Probably not as much as your inner circle, but I hope they carry some weight. And I can tell you that I am thrilled to sit down with all these people at church and your family picnics and debate them to why I think you're better than educate the kids here in 2006, 7, 8. Twitter. When I first hit the scene, that whole crew of all the personalities that were out there that were gaining followers, I was so high energy, so over the top. So from a different angle with the wine stuff, the way that people talked about me in those circles, I would have. For a lot of those people, they thought I was the most likely to be a flash in the pan because I came in so hot. Right. When you come in hot, you fade out hot.

[Ray]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Correct.

[Ray]

You know, you're right. It's true.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I would argue from that era, I've probably been the one that has most gone on to do the thing.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Or definitely in the mix. And I think. And I think that what I admire about you is you, like me, have been a good guy the whole way. And a lot of those people haven't. They all tried. A lot of those people try to do the wrong things along the way with their audiences. So, you know, I don't know, man. Like, I think you're great, and I think the reason that you feel that way is you still feel a little insecurity.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Just enough to it being an annoyance, thank God, not a cancer. Yes. And I think that hopefully you'll use this exact moment together to put the final nail in the coffin and be like, I appreciate you, church lady, because you love me and I love you back. You were raised and your DNA was to be conservative and safe and Mine was to be creative and entrepreneurial and that's a beautiful thing because we can coexist.

[Ray]

And Gary, you're right about that. They want the safety. That's. Thank you.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Of course it is.

[Ray]

That is what it is. They want the safety.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Of course. Sav Toys with the big win on the Alonzo rookie clapping up for Sav Toys.

[Ray]

Congratulations, Sav Toys.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's exactly right, Ray. They want the safety. They. They are more fear based than you are, believe it or not. Yeah. And they are trying to impose their fear on you. I love it. Keep living, bro.

[Ray]

I appreciate you. Thank you.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Genuinely proud of you and I have a lot of love for you.

[Ray]

I receive it. Thanks, brother.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Bye. Bye, Aaron. Fire away.

[Erin]

All right, next question. What should my first post on social media platforms, specifically TikTok, say or look like to get people's attention? I'm wanting to share and sell my art as well as curate other art. Should I just introduce myself and what I hope to achieve with the account? How should I strategize?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Yeah, that's fine. That's great. Say hello. It's not about your first post. It's not about your third post. It's not about your 19th post. It's about posting every day until the content that works, works and then you double down on it while still keeping a small percentage for creativity and exploratory. And on and on and on and on. Me and Sid and Pablo were fucking on text last night at 11 o' clock at night debating Saudi Arabia this, Qatar this, non users this, 36 to 64 that. Like it's a forever fucking game. I was doing this. Pablo, how old are you? 23. I was fucking doing this when Pablo was three. Now I'm here with Pablo at 11 o' clock at night debating how to do it better. It's a forever fucking game. I don't give a shit what your first post is. Your first post on social media could be this. Hi, I'm Karen. That's it. That's the fucking post. That could be the. By the way, that post will likely do way better than anything else you would do. I'm gonna say it again, that literally that post, hi everybody, I'm Karen, I'm an artist and that post will likely get more views than everything else you would do. Hey everybody, I'm Gary Vee and I'm an entrepreneur. Clip that. I have a funny feeling it's gonna cry. In fact, here's why. Life is life that might lead to everyone doing it. Like the all in chat like the ALS chat, like the bucket. Like that clip which I'm going to post tomorrow has a chance of creating an entire meme. It probably will. All right, let's go on the next question. Eric.

[Erin]

All right. How do you build an audience that.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Actually cares, not just follows by caring about them first? How do you build an audience that actually cares? By you actually caring? What am I doing right now in the meta? What am I doing right now? Is it lost on all of you that this hour could be used for bigger money making? The amount of people right here, right now that are trying to get to a million followers, who have 613 who don't even reply to the people that leave comments on their posts now and do not reply to every DM they get, which is three a week. It blows my mind. Everybody is selfish. Everybody wants it for them. I want followers, I want fame, I want the money. How do you get them to fucking care? By you caring first. Why do you think you love your parents so much when it's healthy? They loved you first. They fucking loved you first. Whoever loves first wins. Erin, you go next while they're pulling up the next person. And you can throw that person anytime and I'll play with it.

[Erin]

Okay. This is from Josh. I started my financial services agency nearly three years ago, but growth has been slower than I expected. While I'm committed to pushing forward, frustration is creeping in and I sometimes wondering if I'm missing my window to turn things around. One of my biggest struggles is comparing myself to others who have scaled their businesses much faster. How do I shift my mindset and stay focused on my own journey without getting caught up in external benchmarks?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

That's a great question. By becoming more disciplined, by becoming. The fact that he's self aware, realizes this is happening, is huge. He's clearly consuming my content. I pray, I plead, I push, I hope, I stress. I do all those things to get everyone here to stop comparing themselves to others. Comparison, envy, jealousy is destroying your fucking life. Please stop doing that. It is destroying you. Now three years in, frustrated, he might not be good enough. Like, we have to start having this conversation. Not all of you are destined to be good entrepreneurs and he's got to try different shit. He might not be good enough. He needs to do content. I plead to everyone. Content daily. Content daily. Why? That's how you get new business. Do you think that he's texted everyone in his phone, Andy Anderson to Zachary Zazeloff and said, hey, do you or anybody you know need someone in financial service? Do you think he did that? I don't. Do you think I don't? So I've given everybody the tactics. You start a business that you want to sell shit, you have to text everyone in your phone vulnerably and authentically. Like I showed the other day, hey, maybe not art for you. I'm not asking for you to buy my art, though. I'd be happy if I did. You know, you got to be honest with them. But if you know someone that loves buying art, can you pass on my link? Like, do people go from A to Z in their phone to sell? And do people make social media content every day to sell? The answer is everybody watching right now. Many of them. The thousands that are now watching as they look at all the numbers. Many of them have heard this shit for me for a decade, but they haven't executed. It doesn't matter if you listen to me. It matters if you put the fuck I'm telling you to do. Savannah, how are you?

[Savannah]

Good. How are you?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I'm quite well. Where are you from?

[Savannah]

I'm from Missouri.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Very nice. Yep.

[Savannah]

So my question for you, which. I'm super excited to be here. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I've been following you for many, many, many years. I'm 36. I used to absolutely say Gary Vee, that guy. Like, I was one of those people that was like, you know, early 2000, well, mid 2006, 2010. That era, was it.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Was it too aggressive? Or was I poking at things that were insecurities and we didn't like that part. Or was it the cursing or what was it?

[Savannah]

No, I think it was just the. Maybe the. Too aggressive, but more so. I was, you know, I was in 1820s, early 20s, so I was, you know, just trying to live life.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I get it. I get it.

[Savannah]

But my question right now is, how do you approach adapting your marketing strategies in times of personal transition or growth, especially when you feel closely tied to your identity, like your. Your business is closely tied to your identity.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

I think a lot of people are about to be like, whoa, in the chat. Do you know that none of my professional success is that I feel that that is my identity? Do you know that I'm completely detached from Gary Vee? I know that most people don't believe me right now, and I think in 20 years, they will. Like, maybe when I just disappear and become a hermit and just hang with five people, I think people would be flabbergasted if they. I wish technology and AI could show you my feelings right now in like written form, all of you would shit your pants right now and faint on seeing if there was AI that was a lie detector test that could show you all the truth. And I was attached to it right now. And Aaron asked me, or you asked me, Gary, how much of your self worth, how much of your identity is attached to your professional success since 1994? The answer is almost none. It's my passion. I like the game of it. It's my hobby. It's what I enjoy to do when I wake up, up until I fall asleep. But I do not get validation from how many followers. I get how much admiration. I get how much. I get validation from how people in my inner circles feel about me as a human being. My parents, my family, my inner family. And then all the way in the last tier is the tier that's right around me, people that work closely with me, who know, who know and who get asked all the time, what's he really like? That is where I get my validation from. Who am I as a human being? And so a. That's just a fun starting point, Savannah, to think about, which is like, before I tell you the second part of the question of like, like you're already attached to it, how do we deal with it? The question becomes, can you start the process to get detached from it?

[Savannah]

Yeah. And, and honestly, like, I don't. I don't struggle so much with that, but my clients do. And so then when I'm. Because I'm a marketing strategist and I help them with their social and business stuff, I'm in. I'm in healthcare management and I do a lot online for people, but I feel like that's kind of the thing that we run into a lot when I'm working with them is, well, well, I want followers or I want this or I want that. But then, you know, I try and hone them back down to what it really is, and they're the ones struggling with them, but I don't know how to get them through that.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

The way you get someone through something is conviction, not convincing. What you're probably doing, which is what most humans do, is you're trying to say things to them to convince them how to see a different. The reason I think I've been effective and what I see, how my mother mothered me, which is what I use, and how other things have worked when I've looked at it, is my conviction. My belief in what I believe in is what actually gets people there. So what do you do for all of them, you don't waver and you remind them. Like when I'm at wit's end with someone, I remind them that they are not my child and I actually don't give a fuck. After giving so many fucks, you know, my main strategy is give unlimited. And then when I hit a tipping point where I see that someone's just coddled or entitled or lacks, you know, lacks accountability, then I'll try an off speed pitch. It's like a pitcher, you know, I throwing fastballs. I'm like, okay, the fastballs they're hitting home runs on in this scenario means it's not working. Then I'm going to throw a 70 mile an hour curveball. My curveball, after giving so much love and optimism and push is to say, okay, we're now at a crossroads. Like if this is your client, you're like, hey, I've been talking to you about this for six months. Let me say it this way. I don't care if you don't do this, you will continue to fail. And in fact there's a scenario where I will resign you as a client because I can see here nothing will get done. The best therapists in the world fire their clients that aren't listening. Which is why there's so many bullshit therapists in the world. Because they don't fire when they should fire. I don't believe that I am the person for everyone, Savannah. I do not believe that Gary Vee is the person that is going to get everyone there because some people won't accept my energy, my style, who I am. There are people who eliminate me right away because I'm a 49 year old white male. And they're like, no. I'm like, that's fine. That's why I invented be friends. My 250 characters are going to get you there. And if that doesn't work, next. And so you know that's it. You know that's it. So I think conviction over convincing is something you should try and then some hard love.

[Savannah]

Sometimes, yeah, I definitely give the hard love. So I'll definitely work on transition.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Maybe, maybe it needs to be the other part. Maybe you might be someone who's going to hard love too quickly. Because I can tell you love and optimism and hope get people there more than hard love. People think hard love is the answer. Hard love is what you do when you have done sustained love, hope and optimism for years. So consider maybe you're going to hard love too soon too. That might be something to think about.

[Savannah]

Okay, thank you.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

We go to hard love after, it's like fucking 7 trillion, you know? Like. You know what I mean? Like, hard love is last resort, right? I think a lot of people start with hard love hope. Let this be very clear to everybody. The only thing that gets out of bad places is not tough love. It is hope. It is optimism. It is positivity. And once you deposit a ton of that into someone, sometimes hard love from the depositor of hope will trigger and activate all that love. But until you put all that love into somebody, hard love isn't going to get it fucking done.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Savannah]

Well, I appreciate it. Thank you so much.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

You're welcome, Savannah.

[Erin]

All right, all right. Question from Corey. I just landed a dream position as a business development manager in sales. But higher pay equals higher expectations. I feel an imposter syndrome brewing, and I'm not sure why. I've done this successfully with other companies, just not at this large of a scale. It's the size of opportunity I've been praying for, but now that I have, it feels like I don't have the confidence, experience I had in previous roles. What are the most important things I can start doing to become more confident in my current role?

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

To crush this opportunity, you should surround yourself with people and content and potentially therapy that is only based on confidence and optimism and positivity. This person is insecure. Imposter syndrome is a word I hate, as you know. It is a modern word that we used to make it feel better to not say the truth. Imposter syndrome is fucking contemporary slang for insecure. Every one of you motherfuckers on here right now who like to throw around imposter syndrome, I need you to get that word out of your fucking mouth. And I need you to say, I am deeply insecure, period. We've become incredibly good in the last five years of coming up with all sorts of new fucking words to make us feel better about our shortcomings. Get imposter syndrome out of your fucking mouth because it is a band aid to you solving your actual problem, which is you are insecure. And good news, that is okay. You're allowed. We all are insecure in certain things. I am insecure in hanging a picture in my wall. I do not like to be handy. I'm insecure. I'm insecure at surfing and skiing and skateboarding. Any lower waist maneuvers. I'm tremendous above the waist. They have great hand eye coordination. Racket, sports, darts, pool. I go below the waist. I'm not athletic enough. I'm not Coordinated enough. No soccer, no fucking surfing, no fucking. And I'm going to work on it. That is my big goal from 50 to 60. I want to get better and more athletic and more talented below the waist. Next question.

[Erin]

All right. Hi, Gary. Huge fan. I have so many business ideas and already working on one. Should I stop everything and only focus on one? I'm afraid of missing out.

[Gary Vaynerchuk]

Both can work. You're going to miss out if you don't do ideas. Is not doing. Pondering is not doing. A vision board is not doing. A list is not doing. I don't give a fuck if she does 10 things or one thing. I just need her to do. Got it? If she picks one, good. If she picks two, good. I'm building two businesses. I'm building Vayner X and V Friends hard right now. Hard. Sometimes. I do one wine library. I'm also building Vayner Watt. I'm also building the VCR restaurant group. Fly Fish, Little Maven. If you come to New York, go to Fly Fish Club or actually can't get into it. You have to be a club member. Go to Little Maven. Everybody Google Little Maven nyc. I expect you to eat there asap. People don't do because they're scared, Aaron. They'd rather say I'm working on five businesses than failing on one. Got it? Everybody's not doing because they're scared to fail. You ever watch Little kids, anybody? Does anybody have kids under 10, say 10 in the chat right now, and Adrian put up the cartoon, your two daughters, I don't know if you've noticed, does one of them not want to play certain games and shies away from it? Because this has been very big in my kids journey, my siblings journey and my cousin, my nephews and nieces and cousins journey. There are people, watch carefully. They will say they don't want to play. They're insecure and we need to attack that now. If you have a child who shies away from playing Monopoly, who shies away from playing soft, if your child does not want to play a game, it means they're scared to lose. It is one of the most important things to attack. It's something a lot of people right now don't understand. I'm so glad somebody just said my son never wants to play. People don't get it. I'm telling you right now. If it is competition, if there's a winner and a loser, if there is a winner and a loser, pay attention. If your kid does not want to play, it means they're scared. You must address it. How do you address it? How do you address it? You force them to play. You fucking force them. They're going to cry. But once they learn it's not so scary to lose, you address it by suffocating. We must put these kids in tougher positions. When you. When you. You know what most parents are doing now? When they see it, if they even recognize it, they're like, oh, that's okay, Susan. Doesn't matter anyway. What the are you talking about? It matters the most. Winning and losing his life. The fuck do you think's going on out here? Winning and losing is the only thing. Literally, parents have said it doesn't matter. It's the actual reverse. It's the only thing. But here's the key. That everybody got mixed up. Losing in something doesn't mean you're a loser. It means you understand merit. It means you understand real life. It means you understand consequences and merit and talent and circumstance. This is why we have so much anxiety, depression, and suicide. We have taught people that winning and losing doesn't matter, which creates indifference and becomes entitlement and becomes blame. All these wonderful moms and dads who are trying to make it so sweet for their kids are about to get shit on by these kids in their 20s for saying, mom and dad, you fucked me up. Do you know how devastating that is for an entire generation of parents who tried to make it nice? Parents. Winning, losing is the only thing.