The Reason You're Lacking Motivation & Inspiration | Mindset Matters Sydney Keynote | #5 of 2024 Top Podcasts

Summary

Summary of "The Reason You're Lacking Motivation & Inspiration | Mindset Matters Sydney Keynote"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The GaryVee Audio Experience
• Host/Author: Gary Vaynerchuk
• Description: A mix of Podcast With Friends episodes, WineText TV recaps, Keynote Speeches on marketing and business, interviews, and fireside chats by Gary Vaynerchuk.
• Episode: The Reason You're Lacking Motivation & Inspiration | Mindset Matters Sydney Keynote | #5 of 2024 Top Podcasts
• Release Date: December 28, 2024

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Introduction to the Episode

In this keynote episode at Mindset Matters Sydney, Gary Vaynerchuk delves deep into the pervasive issues of motivation and inspiration among individuals striving for success. Addressing an audience that highlighted these challenges in a pre-event survey, Gary explores the root causes and offers actionable insights to overcome these barriers.

Motivation and Passion

Key Discussion: Gary begins by challenging conventional wisdom about motivation. He emphasizes that true motivation stems from passion rather than the pursuit of money or external rewards.

Notable Quote: "You can't be motivated when you don't like it. I got D's and F's my whole life cause I fucking hated school... The quickest way to buy the things that people think they want is to like what they do." (00:25)

Insights:

• Passion Over Profit: Gary argues that liking what you do is essential for sustained motivation. Chasing money without genuine interest leads to dissatisfaction, as evidenced by his observation of "unlimited miserable millionaires."
• Reality Check: Contrary to popular belief, financial success does not guarantee happiness. The pursuit of passion ensures a more fulfilling and motivated journey.

Building Success: Insecurity vs. Confidence

Key Discussion: Gary explores two fundamental drivers of success: deep insecurity and robust confidence. He draws parallels to the "Force" and "Dark Side" from Star Wars, illustrating how both can propel individuals toward greatness.

Notable Quote: "It's a simple game of love and hate. And the more extreme you are on those two energies, the more you've got fuel to create commercial success." (01:14)

Insights:

• Dual Drivers: Success can be fueled by either combating deep insecurities or harnessing unwavering confidence. Both emotions, although opposites, can be powerful motivators.
• Sustainability: While insecurity can drive individuals to prove themselves, it is often unsustainable in the long run. Confidence, rooted in self-love and positivity, offers a more enduring foundation for success.
• Personal Experience: Gary shares his belief that lasting happiness and success are achievable through confidence rather than the constantly shifting drive of insecurity.

The Role of Parenting and Self-Esteem

Key Discussion: Gary reflects on his upbringing, attributing his confidence and self-esteem to the nurturing environment provided by his parents, particularly his mother, Tamara Vaynerchuk.

Notable Quote: "How do you make somebody confident but not entitled? How do you make somebody feel like they can be anything while having humility? That's some fucking gangster shit." (03:14)

Insights:

• Parental Influence: Gary credits his parents for instilling a balanced sense of self-worth. He emphasizes the importance of building self-esteem in children without fostering entitlement.
• Cultural and Environmental Factors: Moving from the Soviet Union to America and growing up in Edison, New Jersey, Gary highlights how his environment and experiences, including confrontations and street encounters, shaped his resilience and self-awareness.
• Encouraging Resilience: Contrary to today's tendency to over-protect children, Gary advocates for allowing children to face challenges, arguing that such experiences build character and preparedness for real-world adversities.

Handling Negative Comments and Emotional Responses

Key Discussion: Gary addresses the modern phenomenon of "keyboard warriors" and provides strategies for emotionally handling negative feedback, especially on social media platforms.

Notable Quote: "If somebody's shitting on you in the comments and says you're stupid or you're ugly or you're this and that, don't feel bad for you, feel bad for them." (05:45)

Insights:

• Detached Perspective: Gary advises maintaining a detached view of online criticism. By not taking comments personally, individuals can avoid unnecessary emotional turmoil.
• Selective Belief: He points out that the power of negative comments is often fueled by believing positive feedback. Gary himself remains indifferent to both praise and criticism, focusing instead on his personal growth and processes.
• Validation Independence: Emphasizing the importance of not seeking validation from others, Gary encourages listeners to prioritize their own processes and intrinsic motivations over external opinions.

Embracing Competition and Accountability

Key Discussion: Gary discusses his love for competition, comparing business to sports, and underscores the significance of accountability in personal and professional life.

Notable Quote: "Every day is... I think everything's my fault. I'm being dead serious. If I'm unhappy, I can do something about it." (08:45)

Insights:

• Competitive Spirit: Gary thrives on the competitive nature of business and sports, valuing the clear outcomes they provide. He criticizes the notion of rewarding mere participation (e.g., 8th place trophies) as it undermines the value of competition and resilience.
• Personal Accountability: He advocates for taking full responsibility for one's happiness and circumstances. Instead of blaming external factors like algorithms, parents, or the government, Gary insists on personal agency and the power to effect change.
• Constructive Competition: Encouraging a healthy competitive mindset, Gary believes that embracing competition leads to growth and improved performance.

Overcoming Burnout

Key Discussion: Gary delves into the causes of burnout, attributing it to a lack of alignment between one's activities and personal passion or purpose.

*Notable Quote: "I think the reason people burn out is because they're not doing their thing... Normally, people are not doing their thing because they got trapped by the money." (10:27)

Insights:

• Misalignment of Interests: Burnout often occurs when individuals are engaged in tasks that do not resonate with their true passions, leading to exhaustion and discontent.
• Financial Trap: The pursuit of money can trap individuals into roles or careers that are not fulfilling, exacerbating feelings of burnout.
• Reversion as a Solution: Gary suggests that reclaiming one's passion, even if it means financial setbacks like moving back with parents or selling assets, can alleviate burnout by restoring alignment between one's work and interests.
• Critical Awareness: He highlights that societal commercialization masks the underlying unhappiness, as temporary boosts from material possessions do not address deeper motivational voids.

The Importance of Candor

Key Discussion: Candor, defined as honest and open communication, is a central theme in Gary's discourse. He shares his personal struggles and growth in adopting candor without compromising kindness.

Notable Quote: "I created a concept in a word called kind. And by looking at candor as something that had kindness in it, it's really changed the way I've acted." (12:25)

Insights:

• Personal Journey: Gary admits that being candorous was a significant challenge in his early life, particularly in one-on-one interactions. Over time, he learned to balance honesty with kindness, transforming his communication style.
• Impact on Relationships: True candor fosters healthier relationships by addressing underlying issues rather than allowing resentment to build. Gary underscores the importance of expressing genuine feelings in a respectful manner.
• Professional Growth: In a business context, candor is crucial for effective feedback and organizational improvement. Gary recounts his past failures in communication, where contradictory feedback led to confusion and mistrust among employees.
• Practical Application: He emphasizes that candor requires practice, likening it to physical exercises like push-ups. Regularly engaging in honest conversations, even when difficult, strengthens one's ability to communicate effectively.

Social Media Strategies

Key Discussion: Gary provides pragmatic advice on leveraging various social media platforms to build one's brand and reputation, emphasizing the importance of content diversification.

Notable Quote: "If you're not posting on Facebook reels and you're only posting on Instagram and or TikTok, you're making a huge mistake." (19:53)

Insights:

• Platform Diversification: Gary advocates for utilizing underexploited platforms like Facebook Reels and LinkedIn to capture untapped audiences. He notes that many are overlooking these platforms, which still hold significant potential.
• Content Frameworks: Creating structured content frameworks, such as podcasts, enables the generation of multiple content pieces from a single source. This approach maximizes content efficiency and reach.
• Authenticity Over Expertise: Gary warns against the pitfalls of self-proclaimed expertise. He encourages sharing personal experiences and genuine interests rather than chasing fleeting trends or perceived profitable niches.
• Sustainability: By focusing on content that aligns with one's interests and experiences, individuals can maintain consistency and sustainability in their social media efforts.

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Gary Vaynerchuk's keynote at Mindset Matters Sydney offers a candid exploration of the psychological and practical aspects of motivation and inspiration. Key takeaways include:

• Passion as the Core of Motivation: Genuine interest in one's endeavors is crucial for sustained motivation and fulfillment.
• Balanced Drivers of Success: Success can be propelled by either deep-seated insecurities or unwavering confidence, with the latter offering more sustainability.
• Influence of Upbringing: A nurturing environment that fosters self-esteem without entitlement is essential for personal growth.
• Emotional Resilience: Developing a detached perspective towards negative feedback helps maintain emotional well-being.
• Competitive and Accountable Mindset: Embracing competition and taking personal responsibility are vital for growth and success.
• Alignment to Prevent Burnout: Ensuring that one's work aligns with personal passions can prevent burnout and enhance satisfaction.
• Candor with Kindness: Honest and respectful communication strengthens relationships and organizational health.
• Strategic Social Media Use: Leveraging diverse platforms and authentic content creation amplifies personal branding efforts.

Gary's insights blend personal anecdotes with actionable strategies, urging listeners to embrace authenticity, accountability, and resilience in their pursuit of success and happiness.

Transcript

[A]

Hey everyone. We're Counting down to 2025 with our top episodes of 2024. Here's episode number five.

[B]

Sydney. What's good? Thank you, thank you. So happy to be here. Alright, good, sit.

[A]

Many people here today in the pre event survey said that their biggest issue was finding motivation and inspiration. What are your thoughts on this?

[B]

Well, you can't be motivated when you don't like it. I got D's and F's my whole life cause I fucking hated school. Like I'm telling you man, the world's got it upside down. The quickest way to buy the things that people think they want is to like what they do. But everyone thinks it's the other way around. Let me chase the money, then I'll have it, then I'll be happy. You are very wrong because I know unlimited miserable as fuck Millionaires.

[A]

One of the things you said recently was that there were two ways to build something great. Either you have deep levels of insecurity that you use as fuel or a deep level of confidence. Can you expand on that?

[B]

Yeah, I think the things that when people look at people accomplishing wealth or commercial success, it's just very obvious that the fuels are very opposite. It's almost like Star wars had it all figured out, right? Like you know, the force and the dark side are actually very close. But in the end good wins. And I believe that. I think most people achieve big things from a heavy driver of deep insecurity. They're gonna fucking show the world. Fuck you mom and dad and the world. And, and it just drives them. And I think there's another energy which is rare is they just love everything and everybody and it just like the love drives them. And so it's a simple game of love and hate. And the more extreme you are on those two energies, the more you've got fuel to create commercial success. The issue is if you build your financial and commercial success through insecurity darkness, it's not sustainable once you get there. The reason there are so many people in the world that have made but then lost is because that's what happened to them. And so I just feel like a lot of people get to a mountain that they put on a pedestal and then they get there and it's really bad. And so this is why I'm so passionate about self esteem and self awareness and all the shit I talk about. Because I'm old enough now to have watched a lot. I've lived in a lot of rooms, I've been in all sorts of places from the dirt to the penthouse. And it's just very clear to me what life's about and how everybody's interacting. And I just want people to be happier because it feels nice for you.

[A]

Did the confidence and self esteem come naturally from parenting you received or did you build that over time?

[B]

I think it was like, this is why it's so fun for me to talk about things I do. I don't think it has anything to do with me. It was all built. I'm the byproduct of my parents in my environment. You know, when people are like, Gary Vee, you're awesome. I'm like, cool. Like, when people are like, I'm super detached from Gary Vee. What did I do? I didn't have sex that night. My parents did, right? And then my parents made me, my parents groomed me. My mom is an all time human being. Like, you know, the number one challenge for everybody in this room as a parent is are you willing to build self esteem into your children without it becoming delusion? How do you make somebody confident but not entitled? How do you make somebody feel like they can be anything while having humility? That's some fucking gangster shit. And Tamara Vaynerchuk did that with ease with me. Then there was also the compounding fact that we got to leave the Soviet Union. We came to America, you know, like I was an 80s baby. You know, I don't know if my mom was parenting me. Today in this new world where parents are all up in their fucking kids shit, would I be the same person? Because the other thing that made me was not Tamara, it was the streets of Edison, New Jersey. Like, I think that who I am today would be different if I didn't get into fights in middle school. Right? I think one of the biggest problems in the world is I think kids should be fighting each other more. I'm not joking. I think we're over coddling our children so much that, like, I believe my epic trilogy of fights with Oded weinstock in Edison, New Jersey in the 80s shaped me like I grew up. You know, the reason everyone's talking so much shit on social media is when we talked shit in the 80s in New Jersey, somebody might punch you in the fucking mouth. So you were conscious of the shit that came out of your mouth. Now everyone's a fucking keyboard warrior and thinks they're a fucking tough guy.

[A]

On the note of keyboard warriors, how do you recommend that someone responds emotionally to those comments?

[B]

Let me pin you a scenario. You wake up and you Grab your phone and you start consuming content and you see something and you decide to make somebody feel bad because you leave a shitty comment on their content. Could you imagine a worse existence? It's simple. Like if somebody's shitting on you in the comments and says you're stupid or you're ugly or you're this and that, don't feel bad for you, feel bad for them. I don't know, I deal with it very easily. But you also have to be careful. The biggest reason people struggle with negative comments is because they believe the positive comments. The reason I'm able to deal with so much negative comments is because when people say I'm the greatest, I don't believe them either. The reason so many people are vulnerable is they have selective enjoyment. The comments. When people say you're awesome, you're like, yeah. Which means when people say you're shit, you're like, yeah. And for me I just don't believe it at all in either direction. I'm not here for the validation or the tear down. I'm here for the process.

[A]

So the competition in the game of business, is that what you call the process?

[B]

Yeah, I love the game of business. I love sports. Sports is the best because there's a score and somebody won, you know, like I love that shit. It's why I hate 8th place trophies. Like you're teaching kids that losing is bad when it's great. Like I love when kids cry when they lose. I'm being dead serious. You show me a 9 year old who starts crying the second they've lost, I'll show you a kid that I'm ready to hire on the fucking spot. People like, don't be a sore sport, they fucking care. We're like, we're like trying to like suck out all the good shit. Like I love sore sport. Show me a kid that loses and then pushes the other kid. I'm like, that kid's got it. Don't reprimand them, clap for them. I really believe in some of these dynamics. I like competition. I but if you love the game, like one of the things that's interesting about loving the game the way I do, you have to love it more than your own self. This all leads to the thing I spend a lot of time on, which is we are living in the greatest era of non accountability of all time. It's the algorithm's fault, it's your parents fault, it's the government's fault. When the fuck is it your fault? The single reason I'm happy Every day is. I think everything's my fault. I'm being dead serious. If I'm unhappy, I can do something about it. You're mad at the government move. No, really. Obviously if you live in North Korea, you can't do that shit. But we're in fucking Australia, so if you really hate what the fuck is going on, leave. Like sitting around the table and shitting on politicians when you're not even voting is some fucking bullshit.

[A]

For the people that want to get started in building their reputation or brand, what are some of the steps that they can take if they're too nervous to even get in front of the camera?

[B]

You know, I think, look, some people struggle with the camera. That's okay. Like, maybe you can write or maybe you can audio, but if you're going to go in front of the camera, talk about what you know. But you don't need to be an expert. You're the expert of your life experiences. You can talk about anything. I highly recommend talking about stuff that you're interested in because it becomes sustainable. A lot of people fail because they talk about shit they think money will be in. You know, the amount of people that I've physically watched in the last four years go from cannabis experts to NFT experts to real estate experts, I mean, these fucking. Now they're fucking AI experts. I mean, like fucking assholes. The only thing they're experts at is sucking. And because it's selfish, when you put expert in your name, it's almost immediately an indicator that you want other people's money.

[A]

Why do you think people sometimes reach a burnout state?

[B]

Burnout's complicated. Look, the theme of this talk so far, before we go into Q and A, I think people burn out because they're not doing their thing, right? Like, we all burn out. Like, if you asked me to hang a picture right now on a wall, I'd be burned out by the time I got to the hammer. That's not my thing. I don't want to do that shit, right? Like, I'm exhausted. I can work 19 hours a day. I can literally do this in front of this audience for the next 48 hours straight and not sleep. You ask me to go walk a dog, I'll be sleeping within the first second. I don't want to do that. So I think the reason people burn out is because they're not doing their thing. Normally, people are not doing their thing because they got trapped by the money. Either the chase of it or they're making. And now they're living within the means of that money. And they're stuck. They're. Gary, I can't quit my job. You could if you decided to stop spending the same amount of money that you spend on yourself. You could sell your house. You could, you could. But nobody wants to go backwards. Meanwhile, they're mentally backwards every day. People are not going backwards financially. Moving back in with their parents, selling their shit. They're not going backwards financially to be unhappy their whole lives. Do you know how fucked up that is? And nobody's talking about this shit in a real way because everything's been commercialized. People are literally, like, unhappy. So they can buy a Louis Vuitton bag, which gives them a boost for about an hour and a half, and then they're back to being fucking miserable.

[A]

A big theme that you mention in your book 12 and a half is candor. Can you explain that a little bit?

[B]

You know, my great struggle in the first 40 plus years of my life was being canderous. Which is ironic because on stage, I'm a beast. This has been a great 15 minutes of candor. But one on one, the more I cared about you, the less I was likely to be candorous. And that really is the true personality trait that has led to the most unhappiness and most detriment in my career. And so myself, what I'm good at, I market it to myself. And I created a concept in a word called kind. And by looking at candor as something that had kindness in it, it's really changed the way I've acted. And so I think for a lot of people in this room, they have a lot of resentment towards people, and they have a lot of things not working because they haven't been able to actually tell somebody the truth of how they actually feel. This is why couples therapy works. This is, you know, it gives a framework of safety to be candorous. This is why candor is very powerful. And I really demonized it because my father's actually very candorous, but the way he would deliver it was extremely negative. Today, it's something I'm much better at, and it has had a huge, humongous positive effect on my life. My ability to up my candor game, I'm still a 4 or 5 out of 10, but going from a 1 or 2 out of 10, it's been a big difference. And I highly recommend for the people in this room who struggle with candor to really, really try to start practicing. It hurts. Oof. Saying things to people that you really care about. That are negative is just so foreign to me. But it's been a huge addition to my life and I'm glad I have it. I'm gonna keep.

[A]

Are there any tips that you've used to begin those conversations with staff members or family members?

[B]

I don't know if you were scared to swim or ride a bike or have your first kiss, but like, you know, it's just one of those games where you just gotta go. Like, that's still how candor is for me. Like up to the second where I call an employee to tell them they're in big trouble and they may not make it here. Like, my stomach is like, this sucks. Fuck this, you know, but you just gotta jump. And that's where it's crazy. It's practice. It's no different than push ups or anything you do. Like, the more practice you get, better at it. It's crazy to me in these last three years, how much easier it is for me to go there. I mean, I used to, like, not sleep the night before by telling an employee that they were fired. It would kill me. Like, kill me. It's the hardest part of being a business owner by far for me in my career. Firing people, it's the worst. And so I don't have that same level anxiety anymore. I'm better at it. I also bless you. I also think we're doing a better job as an organization of giving feedback along the way so they're not shocked. The problem with Candor in a business environment is if you don't give in at all, you're just stuck, stunning people. And I was the worst of the worst. Not only would I not tell you that you were struggling for the last six months, I was doing the reverse. There'd be people where I'm like, this is the worst employee I've ever had. Let's call him Johnny. I'd be like, johnny fucking sucks. Like, I'd be in a meeting with like, like a heart leader and be like, johnny's trash. I'd go to the bathroom and see Johnny. Be like, johnny, keep up the great fucking work. I'm like, fuck, why am I doing that? And then like, you know, like, johnny, you're killing it. And then like, next Tuesday, I'm like, johnny, we gotta let you go. He's like, motherfucker, you told me I was killing it Friday. I'm like, I know, I'm sorry. Like, it was just. Fuck, I'm happy that era is gone. The top 25 years. It was really, really. It was it was, it's, it was really. I. I like using Cryptomite because I really am lucky. I do feel like I have super man like characteristics when it comes to business and life. I' really fortunate. Fuck am I fortunate? But that motherfucker, that was a fucking scarlet letter. And it is absolutely where all my personal pain comes in my life, professionally and personally. And I'm really glad I'm building in the other direction. And I think for any of you, whatever personality trait you're struggling with, like, you're not tricking anyone. You know, I think big thing that people need to hear, you might be thinking that you're disguising your insecurity. You might trick the 98%, but you're not tricking the real ones. So stop posturing and start working on it. You need to really quickly realize that if you're. And by the way, most people sitting here beat themselves up and don't love themselves. But you need to realize if it's actually, let's have a real moment. No bullshit. I know this is hard, but do this for me because I'm feeling something on some real shit. How many people feel in this room, by a show of hands, that they beat themselves up and they're their toughest critic and they shit on themselves? Raise your hand. Now. This is very important. You have to hear this. It's not you. You don't shit on yourself. Someone put that in you. You have to understand this. You don't hate yourself. You don't think you suck. You're not the imposter. You're not insecure. Somebody taught you that the second you understand that truth, you can understand that you do love yourself. You start find it. And this is very important. And you have to fucking understand this. You do not hate yourself. You do not think you suck. You just got unfortunate that somebody in your life created that framework. But before you're pissed at your mom or your dad, this is very important. This is why my favorite quote from Vicon this year, which was, fuck your grandparents is very important, as I'm watching people get emotional in the crowd. Don't get mad at your parents because someone did that to them. You understand? Please, I'm telling you, you don't hate yourself. You don't think you suck. You don't think you're shit. It was put in you. And you've got to start the process of understanding you do love yourself, that somebody else's judgment on themselves created your framework of judging yourself. And you can get out of this fucking hole and then once that happens, once you love yourself, it's fucking game over. When I tell you when you love yourself, everything's good. Nothing scary. It's all gravy. You're winning good. You're losing good. This good. That good. I remember when, like, man, when you love yourself, I remember growing up if, like, a girl didn't like me back. I'm like, you fucked up.

[A]

What are some social media tactics that you would recommend right now?

[B]

Facebook reels. You know, if you're not posting on Facebook reels and you're only posting on Instagram and or TikTok, you're making a huge mistake. There's a wide open space of attention on Facebook Reels. LinkedIn. Most people are not posting on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is acting like Facebook did 10 years ago. Those two stand out tremendously. The third one is the concept of creating frameworks so you can get content, meaning doing a podcast. Not so the podcast gets to be super successful. But because you're doing a podcast, you're able to get three or four pieces of content for your social right. As a lot of you know that. Follow me. I don't make content. I'm just like, you know, Julian's filming right now. And like, I speak for the content, I podcast for the content. And so putting yourself in a position. I do Tea with Gary Vee, which I'm thinking about bringing back for the content.