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The GaryVee Audio Experience
This One Mindset Shift Will Make You Unstoppable | The Liz Moody Podcast
00:50:32
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- [00:00]
A
There has never been a time in the history of the world where 22 to 30 year olds have made more money independently than we are sitting right now. I don't know if you heard about this thing called podcasting and social media.
- [00:10]
B
No, tell me about it.
- [00:11]
A
So it's this thing, right? It's free. It's literally free. You do not pay Instagram, you do not pay Facebook, you do not pay TikTok, and you can make content and miraculously it leads to monetizable events.
- [00:22]
B
And yet I think a lot of people feel like other fears that I heard it's oversaturated, I don't have something to offer. What would you say to somebody who is like, like, sure, Gary, but there's millions of people trying to do these things.
- [00:35]
A
Those people have nothing to do with you. In fact, there are millions of people actually right now making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on social media, either selling stuff or being a personality and monetizing in different ways. So then why not you? Nothing to offer. That's just an excuse of fear of failing. Because I think we've all established you could fucking offer anything and it works. Some people just offer being attractive. It's called modeling. Like there's a lot of them. Some people just make skits or make jokes. That's at scale. Some people talk about thoughtful, important subject matters. Like you. That's great. Some people give business advice and entrepreneurial advice. That's good. Some people have hot takes on sports. Some people tell you how to cook. You do know I can take the next 4 hours and 19 seconds. I'm not gonna ruin this podcast, but it goes all the way down to like. Some people talk about painting with fingers. Some people go into little child's play with action figures and get make millions of dollars. Like, I'm just not interested in you telling me the global economy has inflationary issues when I know thousands of people every week start the journey of selling on live, shopping on whatnot or TikTok shop, monetizing their content on YouTube. Like, there has never been a more prosperous time in the history of mankind because of the scale that social media is on and the cost of entry is zero than right now. But if you want to talk to me about inflation and tariffs as your excuse, you can knock yourself out. But Paul, in a suburb outside of Minnesota who's struggling to get a job at 24, by his parents paying for him, he gets to continue to call excuses versus if they didn't, he'd have to fucking figure TikTok out or get a side job or figure out how to flip on craigslist or ebay, I don't fucking want to hear it. And especially the parents that are actually paying for their kids a lot of time, they're the most financially sound people. If you're a parent that's only making minimum wage, you're not paying for your kid's lifestyle. I'm talking about parents that are in middle class, upper middle class and wealthy areas ruining their kids life because I've talked to the kids for the last decade secretly on dm. Here's the insight. If you're paying for your kid, if your kid is 27 year old dude on your fucking payroll for his Equinox and Uber and rent and vacations, you are, through your actions. You're gonna like this, Liz. Not through your words, through your actions are telling your kid that you do not believe they are capable. And when a parent tells a kid that they are not capable, that kid is not capable. What are you telling a 27 year old fucking man when you're paying for when he's on the fucking family plan? The fuck do you think those parents are telling them? They're telling them you're a loser and we have to pay for you because you're not capable.
- [03:38]
B
What would you say to people who are worried about AI taking their jobs.
- [03:43]
A
Very soon, that if that's actually how they're thinking, that they should adjust. If you believe that AI is taking your job and you're a designer using Adobe and you have no ideas, you're just an order taker, you don't come up with a creative idea, your boss does and says, make a picture of a moon smiling at a cow and the milk comes out and the man drinks it. Well then you're fucking dead. But if you have an idea, if you're creative and strategic, you've got time.
- [04:13]
B
How much time?
- [04:15]
A
I'm not sure. I think you know, there's a lot to this and the technology is profound, Liz. It is profound. You'll be doing your podcasts like type like me and you can do this interview, typing it out in a minute, in like five years because the voices are mapped. Like it's profound. I don't know. But I would say that if you're actually scared, what I definitely tell you that you shouldn't do is, is hang around and drink beers and complain about it. Learn a new skill, apply for a new job, figure it out. Like when the tractor was invented, 80% plus of society worked on farms And a lot of people sat around farm, just like on this day many years ago, and said, this fucking tractor's gonna take our job. And we got new jobs. I don't know if you know this. We used to ride horses, not cars, five minutes ago. In the scheme of things, less than a hundred years ago. Do you know how many people are employed in this beautiful city to clean up horse poop on the streets? Tens of thousands. Tens of thousands of human beings worked in New York City 100 years ago, and their job was to clean horse poop because we all used them to get around. I don't know if you know this, Liz, no longer horse poop cleaners in New York City has a job. I got another one for you. I lived through this. You know, many people worked at the fucking Yellow Pages at the height of the Yellow Pages, before search engines. All these people that are crying right now. If you're crying so much, I don't see you crying for the Yellow Pages executives and salespeople that got fired across the land. I don't see anyone crying for the taxi industry when Uber came along. What about all the servers that should be working at restaurants right now and. But don't have jobs because you're ordering all your fucking food from Seamless?
- [05:58]
B
It reminds me of the quote that's like, history doesn't repeat, but it rhymes. Like, we always feel like we're in unprecedented times, but if you look back, there's precedent.
- [06:08]
A
In fact, I was a DNF student, but I got as and Bs in history. And I never understood it, Liz. Never. It was like this funny joke. I just was like, oh, maybe I'm interested. I don't know. It was very weird because I paid attention and in hindsight I feel like it was just a precursor to my destiny. I use history. The reason I get big accolades for seeing around corners is because I use history. The iPhone. Do you know that I can show you an article about the kaleidoscope? You know what a kaleidoscope is? There's unlimited articles written in Europe when the kaleidoscope came out saying that the kaleidoscope was ruining kids lives the way we're talking about iPhones, because they're just in this thing the whole day.
- [06:48]
B
Interesting.
- [06:49]
A
The television was demonized. I got a good one for you. Electricity. Do you know the whole thing about that? Everyone go chatgpt and Google this up. It's fascinating. Read. When electricity was invented, most people did not bring them into their homes and chose to stay with Candles because humans demonized electricity and said demons were in it. Demons. So humans are incredibly good at being scared about tomorrow and over romantic about yesterday. I don't do that because that doesn't work. It's never worked.
- [07:22]
B
How do you use AI in your day to day life to increase your efficiency?
- [07:26]
A
I use it as my strategy thinker. So as you can see the way my brain works, I'll just have like thoughts. I'll be like why are jean jackets back? Like literally. That's how my brain works. I'm like literally. This is a chatgpt the other day. This is literally a prompt because I'm a strategist, cultural strategist at heart. I wish it was on my screen, but it clears on the cache. When do you think or is there any indications on social media right now or in popular culture that makes you believe that the clean shaven look during the height of the Friends era where dudes are going to be clean shaven because we've been on a 20 year run of facial hair, stub mustaches, beards, do you see any indications? And I literally for about 30 minutes talked back and forth on is there anything around the corner that would lead us to believe that there's something to happen with clean shaving? Because from an investment standpoint and from a marketing standpoint, I want to think about how Gillette needs to think about things. Do I want to invest in Next dollar Shave club or not? Is there something to be had like, so I don't use it more like do this for me or do that for me though I, because I have a different life than most people. I have three full time admins, two full time chief of staff. I had none of them. I would do a lot of efficiency work that way. And by the way they're doing that, they're getting all these chat bots and all this infrastructure agents in place.
- [08:43]
B
Crazy when bosses discourage employees from using AI Because I'm like, don't have them do your work for you, but have them use AI to be so much more efficient with their jobs.
- [08:53]
A
In fact, I am going the other way. Like I have a company wide meeting coming up that's saying, hey, good news, we're growing so much, no one's losing their job. But if we are not three times more effective and efficient in a year, we've got a real collective team conversation. You're not fired. But I expect you to do a lot more. Not because I need you to work more. Fuck, I, I want you to work less. If you want like, you can work three hours a day instead of nine, but you need to AI the fuck out of that shit.
- [09:21]
B
Agree.
- [09:22]
A
And so that's where it's going to.
- [09:22]
B
Be viewed as a positive. And I think, like, teachers are missing it a lot when they're, like, fucking teachers.
- [09:27]
A
Discouraging, by the way, on the record, I believe education is the only thing. The only thing. The more you're educated, both knowledge or socially, the better you'll be. But when these school systems, I mean, did we not learn from the calculators or from the Internet? I mean, we go through this every.
- [09:44]
B
Time, like it's gonna exist. Let's train students to use it well to be able to distinguish what's good information, what's bad information.
- [09:52]
A
Well, I'm 49. Do you know that we couldn't use calculators in the SATs? And then five minutes later, it was like, mandated. And like, what do you think's gonna happen? Like a what the fuck do you think's gonna happen?
- [10:01]
B
Yeah. Okay. Another reason that I got constantly that people felt like they couldn't go after their dreams was they don't feel like they have enough time. One thing that I heard from so many listeners is I'm afraid of being judged. I'm afraid of being perceived. What would you say to somebody who isn't going after a dream because of that reason?
- [10:18]
A
Well, it was funny right before we started, I guess, officially. I don't know how you edit here. Like, you were like, this is what we're gonna do. And I was like, oh, shit. In my brain. I was like, crap. The problem. I'm gonna have to be very thoughtful here because the seed, there's a lot of nuances, but the truth is it's all one answer. And it's this first thing we're touching on. There is so much to this conversation that it can probably eat up everything. And I'll go there because I think we're gonna bring the most value in this. So we talk a lot about people's feelings in society these days, right? Anxiety, depression. I don't think people realize how big of a topic true self esteem is versus the facade of self esteem. And I don't think enough listeners realized right this second as they're listening. And this is like a statement that I desperately hope stops somebody dead on the treadmill, makes them pull over on the car right now, makes them pull their poor dog back for a second because they need to stop while they're walking the dog. If you're listening, you really have to ask yourself, how many of your decisions do you make day to day, month to month, year to year based on what other people think? And I would argue almost everyone listening right now has their balance way off on this, that they don't listen to their soul, their intuition, their destiny, their heart, their wants, themselves. Because they're over worried about the judgment. Because unfortunately most people are parented by a parent who overvalues other people's opinions and it becomes a condition that they believe is important. Immigrants always hear, I'm an immigrant, I was born in the Soviet Union. Don't embarrass us in front of the neighbors. Well then all of a sudden you're like, fuck, the neighbor's opinion's important and.
- [12:02]
B
Matters more than my own opinion of the situation. Correct.
- [12:05]
A
Some kids realize that their parents use them and their accomplishments in school or in sports as their parents self esteem monitor. Like, it's so sad how many parents. You know why parents put Harvard stickers on the back of their card? It makes them feel good. Like it starts early. Everybody sees where I'm about to go. That big bumper sticker, proud honor school, you know, honors school student, honor student at James Madison Middle School. The fuck is that? Like tell your kid you're proud of their work ethic and how they got there. Not put a fucking bumper sticker on your car. So what? So the other parents think you're a good parent because your kid's a good student. There's no correlation of being a good parent and having kid good at school. My mom's the greatest parent of all time. I was the worst at fucking school. I'm a good human being. I wasn't willing to conform to a system that was not teaching me the things I needed as an entrepreneur. And I knew that in the 80s, let alone now in the 2000s when we actually understand it a little bit. So yeah. What do I think, Liz? I think that people live their lives based on opinions of others. Often of people they don't even give a shit about. Or often people they don't even like. There's a lot of people right now that deeply resent their mother. Like, don't like her, love her because you have to, because it's your mom and you were inside of her. And there's that thing, right? Even when your parents a piece of shit, you kind of weirdly love them. It's like epic. I actually think it's amazing. I think it's one of the best things of humans. But no, no, they are listening right now. And they're like shaking their head at their. Wherever they are. Yeah, I'm pissed at my mom. And yet they will still make a decision tomorrow about their child against their child's best wish, against their own belief to appease, to get validation from their mom because they're in a narcissistic or fucked up. And then that, that's at least it's mom. There's people out there that aren't posting on social media because Johnny Pants 19 is going to say they're ugly. They're literally not going to pursue their dream about being a famous gardener or selling more T shirts for their little side business or sharing to the world a good piece of positivity around being a well balanced parent or executive. They will not do that right now. They will not post that video because they're self conscious about maybe being 10 pounds overweight or having a zit. This goes back to perfect lighting or sound like, I have so much respect for how you two see how the sound should be in here. But I don't think a car passing by in New York City is taking away from the experience. In fact, I think it's enhancing it. Because every fucking podcast is nice and quiet, but getting a little that new. I think the imperfections, they're good. And I don't think these things are absolute. If everything was so absolute, like about, you have to be beautiful to win in Hollywood. Well, what about Brody and his fucking crazy nose? And then we just see him so much and now we think he's the most handsome. Adrien Brody, Is that right?
- [14:56]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [14:57]
A
His nose is fucking crazy.
- [14:58]
B
I think that the people who have more interesting faces are more enjoyable to watch.
- [15:03]
A
Yes. And I'm aware that AI's about to map what's beautiful. And we're all gonna be addicted and super attracted to humans that aren't even humans. Cause they're AI and they're in social and you won't be able to tell difference. And I'm sure, and I know that there's a mapping to what we consider as beautiful. You know, I think we've all mapped that. Like, I've heard that a million times. I don't know the math on it, but like symmetrical. I definitely know my nose isn't. Then there's the counter. There's unlimited people that we find attractive. That subjectively, if they were just regular people on the street, we would not only not find like super attractive, we would maybe even find like not really attractive at all. And yet we're attracted to Them because storytelling, because charisma matters, because kindness matters, personality traits matter. And so, I don't know, like, this is all very long winded. I'm sorry, audience, but I'm incredibly passionate about this, which is that most of us are unhappy because we're not able to love ourselves and follow our intuition. And we're overvaluing the external. And I want more people to go into their cocoon within themselves, get themselves right, love themselves more, because everyone else is gonna have a negative opinion. So why, like, if you don't, if you can't be your biggest cheerleader, Liz, what the fuck are we doing? How the fuck are we gonna live if we don't love ourselves?
- [16:16]
B
First of all, I agree with everything that you said and I think it is so important. It is. Like, why am I letting my fear of some stranger's opinion keep me from going after my dream or somebody in my life? Why am I letting somebody else dictate my own life? But like you said, we are indoctrinated in this from our earliest, earliest memories. It sounds like you think that self love, self acceptance is the cure.
- [16:37]
A
A big thing I've been thinking about lately to add on this convo is when are we supposed to stop blaming our parents? Like right now, a lot of people are listening and they're like, I know what's happening. They're like, yeah, my fucking mom, she always cared about and right? And they're 39 years old and they're listening to you and I right now. And my question to 39 year old Susan and Ricky is when do you become accountable to the fact that for the last 20 years you've been a grown up or at least 15, and you're capable of getting therapy, you're capable of hiking and getting that shit out of you.
- [17:12]
B
Well, and I also think there's such a difference between awareness and action. Like, you can be aware to the end of time. Like you can be like, this caused this, cause this caused this. But if you don't do anything with it, you're just wasting your life. Like, this is your life, you don't get another chance to live it.
- [17:25]
A
And Liz, I would argue that the second you've become aware, it flips to being 100% your responsibility.
- [17:32]
B
I would agree with that.
- [17:33]
A
Right, because before you didn't see it. Listen, let me be vulnerable. This may blow your mind because Gary Vee is canderous as fuck. It's a platform of mine. I shoot it straight. We've been candorous for the last 10 minutes here. Gary Vaynerchuk in his day to day life. For the first 40 plus years of his life, if he was close to you and loved you, he struggled with candor because he viewed candor as fear mongering. He didn't have a good relationship with candor. He couldn't find the middle. I thought if I told my employees that they were doing a bad job that they would be scared and have bad days. You know, I really struggled with candor. I didn't see it. I didn't know that lack of candor was my kryptonite.
- [18:17]
B
How did you find out?
- [18:18]
A
Pain things in like real life shit. Like a Facebook group was created of former Vayner employees that were like talking shit about me. And I was like, damn, I'm like one of the great. And I looked at it.
- [18:32]
B
It's like so important to you to be like, oh my God, are you a lawyer? You're famous for your employees.
- [18:38]
A
And good news, good news, no bullshit good news. Badmin's a former employee. Like, good news, I was winning 94%, which is an unheard of number. But guess what, look at the goosebumps I'm getting here because they're coming that 6%. Like, even though I know that I was better than 99% of the people out there, I didn't want one person to think I was a bad boss. And I had to like, look at it and be like, why are these 30 people? It was only 30, but like, why are these 30 people mad? And I could look at and I'm in my shit. I know my employees. I'm like, these are all the employees that I didn't have the strength to tell them the truth while they were there. And then out of nowhere they got fired. I wasn't canderous. And then in my Youth, in my 20s, I would blame them. When I was running the wine store for my dad, I'd be like, how did Ron not know? Like. And by the way, I would sit on this shit for a year or two. So I decide Liz is getting fired back in the day. Sorry, Liz, but I'm just gonna use you at wine library. Be like, liz stinks. I gotta fire her. It would take me 12 to 18 months to fire you. Yep. And you know what happens during that time once you decide you're not managing as well, all this shit's happening. I didn't have the strength at that point to be like, liz, can I see you for 15 minutes? Liz, listen, you're lovely. This is what I Call kind candor. Liz, you're a nice person. Right now. It's not clicking. I have to make. I have the unfortunate duty to make a subjective opinion. And subjectively, as your manager, as the owner of this, as the guy who's running it, like, I don't think you're doing the right stuff. Here's what I'm struggling with. I viewed that as, like, Liz would panic. Liz would quit. Liz would be upset. And I didn't want to do that, you know, But I didn't realize that would be what would fix it and.
- [20:14]
B
It would be kinder to me. To me, the fired employee. I have a friend who manages a huge, huge company. And he's like, the sooner that I say, this is not a match, I have a thing called match there. It's like, we're looking to find our matches. If it's not a match for me, it's also not a match for them. And I'm likely holding them back. And if I can give them information that helps them find a better match for their next career, that is much kinder for them.
- [20:36]
A
Your friend was further along than I was. I had so. And the other thing that sucked in this story is I had so many things going well. Like, I had so many other things. Well, good intent, good person, talented teaching, mentor. Not selfish. I had all these great things that it hit it even more. Cause it was so functional and going so well. But why not strive for perfection? Meaning you'll never get it. There's a flaw I'm sitting on right now that I can't see. But once I understood five or six years ago, seven years ago, that candor was a problem. I wrote a book called 12 and a half and talked about candor being my kryptonite, that being my half. I started to make social media content. I started talking out loud. People that really follow me know that five years ago, there was no conversation of this. And now in the last five years, I bring this up often, as I'm doing right now. And so I would say to everybody who's listening, when you know that you have a shortcoming that you inherited from your dad, that was reinforced by your dad or mom and your environment of the neighborhood you brought in. Once you realize it, now it's your responsibility. And what did I do? I put myself on blast. I say this shit out loud. It's. You think it's fun for me to come on this awesome podcast and be like, I sucked at this. This sucks your friends better at me. Like, not fun. That Wasn't enjoyable the last five minutes, but it's growth. And I want to be better and I need to be better. And I always want to be better and I will always push myself for that because I'm grateful for what I've been given, talent wise. And so I owe it to the universe that gave me all these great attributes to work on the ones that I didn't have.
- [22:05]
B
Well, and I think you're also pointing out something incredibly important, which is that growth comes from discomfort. Like your muscles are not growing bigger because they're just sitting there. They're growing bigger because you're working them. They're getting micro tears and then they're building upon themselves. And that's the same with almost anything in our life. We need to steer into our discomfort like you did, to grow. It's inherent to the process.
- [22:26]
A
Adversity is the foundation of success. I believe that more than anything. I believe me being an immigrant coming to America, living in a studio apartment with eight family members and having no money, to being picked on because I couldn't speak English, to then being a bad student and having grown up teachers tell me I was gonna be a loser, to being really good at sports until fourth grade. Cause I have remarkable hand eye coordination. On the record.
- [22:51]
B
Oh, I just wanna like throw something at you and test it.
- [22:53]
A
Yeah, it's surprisingly good. On the flip side, I don't know if you can tell. I do not have the most power, speed, athleticism. And so that eventually became something I wasn't as good at. All those things that happened to me in the first 15 years of my life, all that adversity made me unstoppable. Unlike all the people we're about to talk about. I'm not scared to lose. I don't give a fuck, Liz. A fuck what you, these two and the millions at home that will listen to this over the next decade. Think about my accomplishments or shortcomings, especially when we talk about on the professional field of play.
- [23:31]
B
Okay? We are all about pragmatic action steps here on this podcast. So I would love one pragmatic action step that anybody listening who does have that fear of, of being perceived, of being judged could take to get to the place that you are now.
- [23:42]
A
Do what I just did, take your phone right now, make a video and tell the world what you suck at and post it.
- [23:50]
B
Love that. I love that. Steer into the discomfort.
- [23:53]
A
You love it because you know what the fuck you're talking about. And you know what I just asked was incredibly hard. You yourself, as you just thought about it was like, fuck. You know, like I myself, I just said it and was like thinking through and I'm like, I don't want to do that. That shit's fucking hard. This candor thing. It took me a few weeks to be like, oh fuck, I'm gonna have to talk. You know, like I didn't want to. It's fun to hide. It's easy to hide. It's easy to be cynical, it's easy to deploy hate. That shit's easy. The other stuff is hard. Accountability, hard. Deploying love in the face of hate. Being the bigger person, hard, hard. So you want an action step. Liz, I hope that every one of your incredible listeners. One of the reasons I said yes to this is because I know you have a great community. I hope they take a video right now and be like, I've misstepped here. I over coddled my child. Do you know what? A woman or a man right now who has a 26 year old child taking a camera, first call your kid that you're gonna do this because this is gonna cause all sorts of heat and says, hey, I'm a parent, I have a 26 year old. For the last five years I've been paying for their lifestyle and I made a mistake. Nobody wants to post that on social, but I can tell you right now, cause I'm going right there. Every parent of someone who's over 22 years old that continues to give them money and pays for their lifestyle is ruining their kid's life.
- [25:25]
B
Even if with the way the economy in the world is changing, it feels harder to get ahead these days. Even with between their normal job, between the chores of everyday life, they don't feel like they have the time. What would you say to them?
- [25:38]
A
I would say to them, couple things. First line is everything great is hard. If we're talking about following your dreams and living on your own standards and having freedom, that is a big deal to like live on your own, not have a boss. That's a privilege. That is earned. That's an earned privilege. It's not handed to you. It's an earned privilege. I would say they're right. Most people are caught. Let me explain the next part. That's going to hurt feelings. I would say that most of them are overspending. The reason most people can't quit their job is because they need the income to pay their bills. My question is, what are your bills? This goes into a very important conversation for the people that said that if you're chill if you're like neutral, mazel tov. If you don't want to eat shit for three years to have even more on the back end, you're allowed. It's the people who complain that their life sucks that say their excuse to me is, well, I can't do anything. Gary, you don't fucking get it. You have it good. I'm like, you don't fucking know me, bro. I didn't have it good. And I got to my place out of work and I was willing to sacrifice. I made 50k in my 20s a year building a business for my dad and left with Nothing. I started VaynerMedia in a conference room of another company at 34 years old because I had no money. I fucking worked 100 fucking hours a week for my dad and got paid dick and built a huge business for him and left with, you don't know me. So what I did was I sacrificed. When I was making 50k, Liz, I was saving money. I lived in a shitty apartment. I didn't drive a fancy car. I had 13 pieces of clothes, maybe 50, meaning, like, with socks and underwear. I didn't do shit. I didn't spend shit. I definitely didn't buy fucking Starbucks and eat out every night. I've literally watched people in my office complain about shit and then go buy four $38 martinis. And by the way, you're allowed.
- [27:42]
B
Yeah, I mean, I think what would you say to the person who's like, but I have one life and I want to enjoy it?
- [27:47]
A
Then don't fucking complain. Like, you're right, you're allowed. There's a lot of people that live in debt their whole life and die and are happy about it. I'm just saying don't complain.
- [27:56]
B
How do you weigh out whether you're sacrificing in this moment for something that's going to be more likely to pay off down the line?
- [28:03]
A
Now we got a combo by knowing the truth, which is go to a retirement home and go speak to 15 people who are 90 years old that aren't your grandparents and talk to them about life. And you will leave that afternoon a donating your time to the elderly, which is a beautiful act. And you will leave with something called wisdom. And in that wisdom, you will realize something, my friends that are listening, that you don't know if your sacrifices are going to pay dividends. But you will know that if you don't go for them in your 80s and 90s, you will sit and talk about regret, which is the ultimate poison in Society, you don't know. But what you do know is you hate your job right now and you're not that happy. So one thing you know, you know that you're not fucking pumped. So what the fuck's the alternative to me? People are not living within their means list. People buy houses that are too big for them. They drive cars that are too fancy for them.
- [29:04]
B
I'm gonna push back a little bit. Please.
- [29:05]
A
Please. You're allowed. By the way. I'm not like this is my opinion.
- [29:08]
B
Less people are even able to buy houses at all than ever. Historically. Historically, the cost of the home compared to the average income has never been higher. So it's not just this like group of people who are like in their big suburban home.
- [29:21]
A
I'm not. I'm not talking about. That is absolute facts. Yeah, that's not what I said.
- [29:25]
B
Okay.
- [29:25]
A
We agree on that.
- [29:26]
B
Okay.
- [29:26]
A
The separation of wealth is one of America's biggest vulnerabilities.
- [29:29]
B
Completely agree.
- [29:30]
A
I know how the French Revolution happened. Like I am.
- [29:32]
B
Talk about history. Like talk about history. We need a middle class.
- [29:35]
A
I love paying taxes.
- [29:36]
B
Yeah.
- [29:36]
A
I spend zero time trying to not pay taxes. Zero. I have no problem with that conversation. That's not what I said. In fact, I'm happy for those people that are not buying homes because everybody leaves too big of a deposit to have three extra rooms they never use and then they run out of cash flow and they're stuck to a job they hate. In fact, I'm actually very pro living an apartment your whole life or rent your whole life and keep your cash flow. Good. To give you freedom to chase dreams and happiness.
- [30:06]
B
So you think we're being sold on the wrong dreams. Okay.
- [30:13]
A
I do not believe owning a home is the greatest thing that could happen to a human. I believe having financial freedom to give you optionality to adjust to how you're feeling in a moment is the greatest dream. I believe the down payments on homes. Fuck people. Real estate agents tell you to drop the biggest deposit you can. I say owning a home is a great asset too. Like I'm not against it. Don't fucking burn all of your fucking breathing room on the deposit.
- [30:44]
B
Okay, so one thing you think we're doing is perhaps overspending or not looking.
- [30:48]
A
Yeah. By the way, it adds up. Like it is not your God given right to have an Equinox membership. Taking the subway is an option. Like public transportation is an option. You don't need to Uber everywhere. I'll say it again. Live your life. I have relatives who are in debt their whole life and their argument is happiness and like they want to enjoy their life. The problem is they're the biggest complainers in my family. I don't see the correlation. Let me take a step back. For people who've never heard my content or have a more broader view on me and are taking a feeling to what I'm talking about one way or the other, pro con middle, this entire convo for the last 20 minutes is simply about one thing. If you don't complain and you're not unhappy, do whatever the fuck you want. This is a simple conversation of people who are unhappy. And when you're unhappy, you have to take different actions.
- [31:38]
B
Is there anything that you do in your daily life to get better, more energy or get more time back?
- [31:44]
A
Time back? Is all the people around me back to the like I invested in admins, drivers, fucking full time trainers, anything that can make me more efficient. Time is the only thing I care about.
- [31:54]
B
We'll go back to my question, but is there anything that you think more people should be doing to buy back their time that's attainable even if you're not at great levels of wealth?
- [32:02]
A
AI. Okay, AI will be. I have, you know, I've worked super hard for two decades to get to a place where I could afford that kind of infrastructure. When I was 38 years old, I had nothing. I didn't have an admin, I didn't definitely didn't have a driver, I didn't have a membership to a workout place, let alone a full time trainer. Once I got to a place where I could afford things, I realized quickly that health and time was what I wanted to spend all my money on. I didn't need a watch, I don't need a fucking Lambo, I don't fucking need a million dollar paintings. I think for a lot of people who are listening that can't afford these things. I wish that AI was here when I was 21 and had no money. I would have fucking used all those apps to make me more efficient.
- [32:40]
B
Yeah, yeah. And fun fact, you can ask AI what ways you could use AI to become more efficient.
- [32:46]
A
Well, that Liz, you're, you're brilliant for that. Everyone, don't ask anybody a question ever again and don't claim you don't know. I will tell you.
- [32:52]
B
Yeah, like at least it will give you a starting place to go from. Do you have any other habits and routines that help you question get back your energy?
- [33:00]
A
My energy comes strictly, I think at 49 years old, I think I've been mapped I believe the reason I am right now and super hyper in this podcast is fully out of gratitude. I think it is by far my biggest fuel. I am grateful that I'm in a place in my life where I'm invited to a great podcast like this, where I get to spit the shit that my mom taught me to the whole world. It's literally making me smile on the spot right now. I am grateful every day. When I wake up in the morning, I did it today. I woke up this morning, I immediately look on my phone immediately. Lots of people talk about. My fiance wants to meditate for 30 minutes and do this and walk and grounding and fucking ice bath and all the fucking new. Let me tell you what I do.
- [33:39]
B
There's an unlimited podcast that's Gary Vee morning routine.
- [33:42]
A
And by the way, everybody else's is incredibly valid. I'm just telling you mine, okay? Mine's very different. No ice bath, no red light. No fucking putting the blood of a young kid into me. No fucking going outside and talking to the grass. No fucking none. No fucking turmeric in the water. Nothing. Wake up immediately. Grab my phone, and I see no missed calls and a million texts from a sibling or a parent, and I am fucking pumped, Liz. I swear to God, that's my life. I grabbed my phone right away. And if nothing happened overnight, that was catastrophic. I wish we knew each other for 30 years so you could tell your audience he's telling you the truth. The nanosecond after that, that I feel good and happy about, the day would blow your fucking mind.
- [34:32]
B
It's actually really interesting. I just did a podcast where I talked about how a great gratitude practice can be picturing losing the things that we love. Otherwise, it's really, really hard to be like, oh, I'm grateful for my house. I'm grateful for my dog. But if you picture losing your dog, if you picture losing your family, it strikes. I mean, it's grim, but it strikes this chord of fear that makes it much easier to find that gratitude.
- [34:55]
A
Yeah. And to me, like, people make fun of me for sometimes on this. And, like, there was a viral video once where I'm like, imagine your fucking family. And people laugh at me. But I play these games all the time. I have a professional dream to buy the New York Jets. When I play that out in my head, I'm like, I bought the Jets. I'm weirdly like, my chemicals, you saw with the. You know, Like, I'm very intuitive with myself. I'm pumped, but, like, I don't know, like, then it's like, okay, now I gotta win a Super Bowl. Like, I don't know. It's like part of the game, right? When I talk about, like, my mom just passed. I'm, like, crippled. I, like, can barely move for a few minutes. When I trick myself into believing that when you talk to yourself about things you want versus things you lose, that you care about, everyone's got a different relationship with their intuition and their feelings. So I don't know how this will be for everybody. For me, it's very clear what I actually care about when I do those exercises. Yeah, Liz, that's my morning routine. Or, like, how do I roll? Why do I have so much energy? Because I want to squeeze the shit out of this thing called life. Because I don't know if you know this, Liz. You and I were not born for a very long time. I don't know. I have some bad news. When we die, we're dead forever. So we've got this little fucking tiny ass motherfucking window. It's fucking tiny. Even if, God willing, with modern medicine, you and I get to a hundred. A hundred years, in the scheme of the world is nothing. Why on earth are you willing to settle? Why are we willing to settle? You have to fight. You have to fight so hard to be happy. And when you fight so hard to be happy, a funny thing happens when you actually strategically fight to be happy. It's very easy to be happy. There's a lot of people right now who think they're fighting to be happy, but they're fighting to be happy day to day. They're not fighting to be happy in life. They're fixing the sink, not the well.
- [36:51]
B
Okay, so how do we zoom out and fix the well?
- [36:54]
A
By really going back to the themes of this conversation and just asking yourself, are you doing two things? One, having honest and real conversations with yourself. Are you actually happy in your marriage? Are you in a toxic relationship with your parent? Are you being accountable to how you're showing up for your siblings, your children? Are you contributing to being mad at your parents? Are you just doing the same behavior to them that they're doing to you? Do you have the capacity to be the bigger person? Are you enjoying what you do day to day on your profession? Or are you just doing it because it's the place where you can make the most amount of money, but then you just complain about being unhappy by having real hard conversations with you. And if you're unable to have those, if you're like, Gary, Cool. But, you know, it sounds like you, Gary, are self aware and I'm not self aware. How do you become more self aware? Therapy work, like my big thing and I'll bring it up again. When are you on the other side of this podcast ready to take on 100% accountability? When is it no longer Biden or Trump's fault? When is it no longer your mom or dad's fault? When is it no longer your boss's fault? When are you willing to be 100% accountable? And the second you're like, it's on me. And it sounds crazy. And, Liz, this is important because you've been jumping in with a certain theme which is exactly right. There are many circumstances outside your control. There are things that happen to people, right? My mom lost her mom at 5. My dad lost his dad at 15. I was born in the Soviet Union. Like, there are millions of things that happen to a human that are shitty. Like, there is real adversity in the world. I'm not saying none of that stuff matters. That would be incredibly insensitive and delusional. I'm not asking that question. I'm asking when do you. You. When are you willing to say, against all these odds, I am capable of change? Because if you decide you're not, well, then you're not in life, you find what you're looking for. The algorithm and social media is the exposer of you, not the changer of you. You go into my algorithm, it's sunshine and rainbows, it's the jets, it's the Knicks, it's trading cards, it's happiness. I have no politics in there. Facebook and Instagram and TikTok didn't change you. They exposed you. People are addicted to negativity, Liz. Negativity and darkness is easy to hide behind. All these things that you got from people, they don't want to be on the stage because they're worried about the booing.
- [39:30]
B
I think there's a lot of people who want to go after their dreams but don't have a sense of what they are. They know they're destined for something bigger. They maybe don't feel satisfied with the everyday, but they don't know what direction they want to go. What would you tell them?
- [39:46]
A
Talk to the world through social again, similar to AI social media right now. When I got into Social in 2005, 6, 7, 8, it was going to change the world in a positive. You should have been there at these conferences when Zucks was early talking about Facebook and Evan Jack were talking about Twitter. It was Nirvana. I thought it was like a hippie compound. It was really honestly, it was like love and peace. And now today everyone listening is like what? Everybody here blindly looks at social now as a negative. I think social is one of the most positive forces in the world because it's powerful and the same reason that people are like this fucked up shit. You do know that means it can make incredible things. This would not be happening if there wasn't the Internet. You would have had to been picked to be on a radio station. You understand? You and I together here have left a very positive deposit. I literally believe that there are three people listening that are going to really hear me and you today and their life will be better. Do you know how amazing that is? What do I think about what you just said? I think people should go out and make content and talk to the world about their process on this. The opening video is like, hey, I'm Susan, I'm 43 years old, I'm a divorcee, I have a 17 year old daughter, she's going to college in a year and I feel like I'm really ready for my next chapter. And I'm gonna be 44 years old and I'm a young woman. That's another thing. You know, I talk a lot about age. I'm obsessed with this. I do not know why people think at 50 their life is over. I can't deal. You're Gonna live to 90. What the fuck are you doing for the next 40 years anyway? Make a video and be like, and you know, I'm gonna keep role playing and she's leaving in a year. She's my sunshine, she's my world. I'm gonna miss her. But I'd be lying to you world if I didn't say I do feel like I've got something to give and here are my interests. I like cooking, I like travel, I like the Chicago Bears, I like donuts, I like skiing. If you have any thoughts or what happens that people don't realize in that scenario that I just said, that woman is putting love and optimism into the world. Do you know what happens in her comments? She gets love and optimism back. She'll also get three or four people that shit on her. Because people that are hurt are very affected by positivity. There's a level of envy and jealousy that a negative person, someone who's hurting right now, I get this a lot and I get it. I'm fucking out here spitting sunshine and rainbows. I get everybody that I'm a Little aggressive and there's some cursing and there's some jersey in my delivery. But here's the fun part for all the people listening, Liz, that I was a little bit too much for. On the flip side, there's a couple of people that I was exactly right for. They needed this version of rainbows and sunshine and positivity.
- [42:21]
B
Well, and I will also say, so I can hear a lot of people saying, well, what if I do that and do that over and over and nobody's watching. And I think a really interesting thing that you said is we sometimes over index on things needing to matter to hundreds of thousands of people to have them have an impact. But if they even impact one person or two people or three people, that is impact.
- [42:38]
A
And in the story that I just told you, if she gets a DM from another woman, woman in Milwaukee who's 61, who went through the same journey, only lives an hour away in Chicago and they get tea together. And then that 61 year old is my 43 year old's mentor and she gives her good advice. That can't happen if she doesn't make a piece of content. You need one.
- [43:00]
B
There's so many outputs that aren't just gets an audience of tens of thousands of people and makes money off of this thing.
- [43:05]
A
This is where we're all fucked up, this con. Like, do you know that kids now think you need to make $10 million a year to be successful? I mean, I'm like watching this shit and I'm like, fuck me. Like, everyone's so goddamn confused, Liz, because they're not being accountable. They're like, well, Johnny told me, well, this vlogger said he makes 10 million.
- [43:22]
B
Well, we have exposure to these people doing these like hauls and things that we've never had exposure to before.
- [43:27]
A
Correct. That's all good. But here's my question. Just because some kid makes $10 million a year on Twitch doesn't mean you're supposed to.
- [43:35]
B
Yeah. And it doesn't mean you need that to live a good life.
- [43:38]
A
I don't look at Lebron James and be like, I should be an unstoppable basket. Like, we're full of shit. That's what's happening. We're using all these different proxies as excuses for us not to put in the work. Whatever work that is. I live that life physically. Up until 38, I never worked out once and never ate a good thing in my life. We drank Coca Cola for breakfast. I don't know, like I could have done that. Or at 38, because I was a fucking grown up, I'm like, all right, I have a lot of dreams. I have a lot of positivity to deposit. Before I'm off this earth, if I don't change this thing, that does not come natural. Being an entrepreneur comes natural to me. Working hard in my job comes natural to me. Do you know I cried this morning to myself going to the gym? I didn't want to go. I wanted to go to the gym this morning. The way you want someone to take a sword and cut off your arm right now. I was like, so not. I'm 10 years in.
- [44:29]
B
Yeah, 11.
- [44:30]
A
And I'm like, ugh. And it was rainy today in New York. And you know what? That when you're up early. And I saw Babin because we were getting ready for our first DailyVee in a long time, he was in the coffee shop. And my brain said, oh, maybe I can tell Mike, my trainer, that I ran into Babin. I needed to catch up with him before the DailyVee. Like, I was, like, trying to find my excuse. And then I just went in there and fucking did it and fucking sucked. And by the way, I'm not even gonna give everyone the fun story where like, oh, and after I felt so great, I didn't feel great. I was like, fuck that shit. But I fucking don't want to die earlier than I can. Cause I love life. And so I'm willing to pay the price for what I want. Just like all those people who say they don't have time. Let me get this straight. You do not have time to chase your dream in life. Think about that sentence. You know what I say to all those people? Show me your calendar. I want to fucking see it, Liz.
- [45:20]
B
And show me your screen time.
- [45:22]
A
Show me it. Yeah, show me it. Like, what are you doing Friday night at 8pm? I know what you're doing. And I'm empathetic to this. I'm deeply. Please do not let my aggressive communication style and energy confuse you. Where I sit on empathy. If you do not like your job and you have kids and all this stuff, you know what you're doing on Friday? You're fucking recalibrating. I get it. You want a beer and just watch the game and just fucking. I get it. But fuck, you're unhappy. So I need your Friday night to start your fucking Internet thing. Yeah, you know, like, I need you to wake up a little earlier on Saturday. It's a funny thing, Liz. Every time in real life that I've gone under the hood for real. Because I give a fuck about someone like this. I miraculously find 25 hours.
- [46:01]
B
Can you leave us with just one homework assignment? Something that we could all do the moment we turn off this podcast to get a little bit closer to our dreams.
- [46:08]
A
Couple things you can do. We've touched on them. One, you can make a video to the world. Post it on your Instagram right now where you go accountable or say something you're going to accomplish and ask the world to hold you accountable. People hide. One of the biggest reasons I got better in shape is because I have to send my scale to my trainer every morning. Helped. 2. Call someone who's closest to you and apologize for blaming them. And especially if you're over 22 years old, my friends. If you're over 22 years old, you're a grown up. You're a young Grown up. You're 25. You still got a lot to learn. But you're not a baby. So I think suffocating the excuses. This is all about accountability. I believe so. Veefriends. Right? Veefriends is my Pokemon. Meet Sesame Street. I'm really excited about it. It's like truly. But when I'm dead it might be what I'm known for. Liz whole Gary Vee chapter might not even be like. That's how much I think I'm Walt Disney. Jim Henson. Like I'm doing it. Okay. I'm really excited about Liz. I'm building one of the most important new intellectual properties in the world. And we have Patient Panda and Account. We have these great characters like that are like teaching. Yeah. It's like, it's really an interesting IP. I call it 3 to 93. So it's like Batman. There's like the Lego Movie for three year olds. But there's also like the rated R Batman.
- [47:21]
B
Yeah.
- [47:21]
A
So I have like mature comic books if you want to learn about it. It's Vee friends.com cartoons. Four to eight year olds. Killer. And it teaches them really good attributes. But there's really empathy Elephant and Passionate parrot. Right. And Gracious Grizzly bear. But do you know who secretly my favorite beef friend is? Accountable aunt. One of the reasons I'm building this world is I want to get the kids earlier to teach them important attributes. And I think accountability in this over coddling generation of parenting is incredibly important. Life has consequences. And so the homework assignment is to put yourself on blast. Do what I did about. I didn't need to come here and like talk about this huge Kryptonite shortcoming and a Facebook group making fun of like, you know what I mean? Put yourself on blast. Own it, own it, own it. Because in life there's no ozempic for your personality. Not going to be able to pop a pill and all of a sudden become more accountable. We need to put in the mental work. We need to listen to things like this. Therapy, exercise. There's a lot of things that will work for people. I don't care if you have to go to like the woods in like Central America. If you can afford all these weird treatments and Omahuasca or whatever the fuck that's called. Like, I don't care what you have to do. You have to take action. This is what I like that you talk about. I think the biggest action you can do is to put yourself on blast. If you call someone and apologize for having excuses, or if you make a video and post to the whole world about a vulnerability or an accountability, your life will change. And all this shit we're talking about, you know, how you get out of fear, you know, all of this is the same as being a kid, right? You know that I was scared of swimming, I was scared of riding a bike, and I was scared to kiss a girl. All three. And I mean pretty damn scared. I was just maturing slow, you know, Guess how it all got fixed? By riding a bike, jumping in the pool, swimming and kissing a girl. People are scared of people's opinions. You want to fix it? Go and make a one minute video and tell everybody what you suck at. You know, I call it the 8 mile rule, right? You ever watch Eminem's movie, the 8 mile? You know, the Last Battle Rap? He goes first and he spends the entire rap making fun of himself, leaving the other guy nothing to say. And he has this transition to Clarence in the Last Battle run where he shits on himself. And then he says one transition line, he says, that's me. But I know something about you. The reason I'm willing to be vulnerable, the reason I like sucking at things, the reason I like losing, the reason I like being booed and judged and all that shit, is cause everyone else sucks too. Liz. Everybody else sucks too. Stop putting people on a pedestal. Everybody has strengths. Everybody has vulnerabilities. We're just fucking human beings. And the real game is just trying to close the gaps on the vulnerabilities that are actually causing you your pain.
- [50:29]
B
I love it. Well, thank you so much, Gary. This was wonderful.
- [50:32]
A
Thanks, Liz.