Gary Vaynerchuk (2:20)

Yeah. But real quick, I'm gonna interrupt you. Like, that seems more disciplined or organized. Like, I agree with you, that's contextual, but like, let's call spade a spade. Like, being rigid can be an incredibly challenging thing. And I don't know what Webster's dictionary defines rigid at, but, like, in this moment, I do think rigid is different than being disciplined and organized. That's why the word exists. Wouldn't you call that negative? And don't give me some. You know, you're just gonna appease me and agree with me. Like, stick to your guns here. Like, where you at?

Interviewer 2 (2:52)

Yeah, I'm with you 100%. I think you're totally right. Rigid really does have this cold, inflexible edge to it. And you know, that can be stifling. Like, if you refuse to adapt, you miss out on growth, creativity, or even just human connection. So, yeah, I'd say rigid.

Gary Vaynerchuk (3:05)

Okay, but real quick, I just changed my mind and I think Ridgid is awesome. What do you think?

Interviewer 2 (3:09)

You know, I see where you're going. I mean, sometimes having that firm structure.

Gary Vaynerchuk (3:12)

Clear. Yeah. See, this is why AA Pissed. AI is like the great enabler of our society right now, which is dangerous because we're dangerously entitled to begin with. And I don't need AI entitling me. But anyway, for me personally, not from my AI, I do view being rigid as an anxiety accelerator. And one of the great goals of my life, I've decided, is to eradicate anxiety.

Interviewer 3 (3:40)

You mean just amongst the the world.

Gary Vaynerchuk (3:42)

I've decided today that my new goal in life as a superhero is to eradicate anxiety, which I'm obviously being a little tongue in cheek and joking, but I'm very aware that that is what my content is about. That is what I believe. I do not believe one needs it. Of course, you need to be cautious. We're animals. We're structured to protect ourselves. But I think the world has become shockingly good about worrying about dumbass fucking shit. I would argue my D's and F's and my entrepreneurial spirit and me loving sports and me being a salesman has trained me for adaptability from the get. I've been practicing adaptability my whole life. When you're not scared to get bad grades, you don't put your book report in on time. That's called adaptability in a way that's not seen by many. They think it's frivolous or not appropriate or lazy or. I got comfortable with breaking things and then I had all the response. I'm the oldest son in an immigrant family. I've been prepared. Like, I've been trained to have responsibility. Do you know how many people are 23 years old and never had responsibility a lot. That's the issue.

Interviewer 1 (5:00)

See, I feel like watching the footage, you walk really fast, really fast, right? But it's actually interesting because there are some studies that, like, that the speed at what you walk is consistent, associated with better performance and, like, your mental, like, capacity. Right?

Gary Vaynerchuk (5:15)

So do you think, by the way, you want to hear a fun fact? I was walking slow because it was Bryce's first day. I'm being dead fucking serious. I just wanted to be empathetic and, like, not like, completely leave him in the dust. And I noticed he was, like, a little slow in his transition with his bags and coats. And I was like, all right, let me be a nice guy here. But like, I was thinking about hazing him day one, too, and just like, completely being so far away from him that he was gonna get nervous. But I just like him too much too fast already. So I kind of. I kind of like. But he's gonna. He's definitely. Wait till you see Bryce. Speed of transition from where we're at to where we're going change over the next six months. It's gonna be like, not even the same human.

Interviewer 1 (6:00)

We're gonna timestamp this and then come back in six months. My question is, do you think that if you were to slow down that you'd actually get more tired and that would.

Gary Vaynerchuk (6:10)

Yes. You want to. That's a great observation. Do you know that if I eat lunch in the middle of a workday, I'm finished. My body is so accustomed to when food goes in, it relax because I only eat dinner. And I. Anytime I eat dinner, that's it. Like, I'm pretty much like rap, you know? So, yes, I get incredibly. Yes. It's not where I want to be, by the way, on the record, when I relax, I fully relax. You should see me on a beach vacation. Wake up. Now, I'm a little bit better about going to exercise, but, like, wake up, eat breakfast slow, read like the New York Times printout thing that they give you at these bougie places that I go to, walk to the beach, sit down, put on music, lunch, go back to the pool or the beach. Dinner, bedroom, watch a movie, cuddle, go to sleep. I could do that for fucking seven weeks in a row if I was on a seven week vacation. The whole world was on a seven week vacation. I'm all in on what I'm in on. There's just a little fun fact that I want you three newbies to know about me.

Interviewer 3 (7:24)

Yeah, so you never eat Lunch early?

Gary Vaynerchuk (7:26)

No, I would say that I've eaten lunch less than 10% of the days that I've worked in my life. Maybe less than 5%. Actually less than 5%.

Interviewer 3 (7:39)

You just don't get hungry. Okay. Your body's used to the.

Gary Vaynerchuk (7:43)

Since I was fucking 15, you know?

Interviewer 1 (7:47)

And that makes sense to you. Cause like your blood sugar levels and stuff makes you more tired.

Gary Vaynerchuk (7:51)

Yeah. And when I eat lunch, it's usually like at a nicer place. I like wine. A glass of, of wine during lunch. I'm fucked.

Interviewer 1 (7:58)

You know, two different topics. Just to finish this out a little bit. Part of this also is just showing people that like, even what they might seem as like a mundane thing, as like meetings after meetings after meetings, like, that's the real life of a CEO entrepreneur, right?

Gary Vaynerchuk (8:14)

100%.

Interviewer 1 (8:15)

How do you feel, how comfortable do you feel canceling things on your calendar as someone like jam packed as you? And what's like your barometer for priority? When to cancel something?

Gary Vaynerchuk (8:25)

It's a great question. I hate it. I also hate not being on time. I don't know what you guys saw through that day, but like, I make, I don't. At this point, I'm a little bit publicly known. So I have this great fear that anyone, and I mean anyone, an intern at VaynerMedia would think that I think my time is more valuable than theirs. So I try to be prompt. Canceling is devastatingly scary to me for the same reason I will cancel if there's a fire, if there's a family situation that's not a fire. Like if my daughter called me or son called me, like, and they just needed to talk, or if there's something really pressing. And the calculus of the meeting I am in right now had changed during the meeting and requires incredible amounts of current thought and execution that makes me feel comfortable with doing something I desperately don't want to do, which is to cancel.

Interviewer 1 (9:20)

You interact with so many different people from so many genres, different people, every walks of life, basically. How do you emotionally stay checked in with that many different energies? Or what is something that you practice within yourself? I know it's like gratitude, but what do you mentally tell yourself to stay checked in and present with these people?

Gary Vaynerchuk (9:40)

Nobody's energy negatively impacts me. The great strength of my life is, is the inability to allow someone else's energy to penetrate mine. So if they're giving me incredibly negative energy and Debbie Downer, I become a therapist, guidance counselor, head coach, cheerleader, and build them up. And if they give me great energy we join forces for a great energy moment. If they're focused, I'm focused. I believe the world is filled with people that are unfortunately in a place where other people's energy are the drivers of their energy. That is not my reality. Quick break. One useful thing to share. I thought Tick Tock was just dances. Turns out it's where I learned how to save money, fix stuff and get real tips. Short videos, real people download Tick Tock. Now. I'm also fully in control. If someone, I mean, I'm not a robot. If somebody's energy does not feel right to me, I have the ability to disengage with the situation. But the only time I've felt those energies, the person that I felt that from historically was an atrocious person. It's crazy how my intuition and my energy calculator has been able to figure out people long before the world has figured them out. I'm really proud of that. I'm very grateful.

Interviewer 1 (11:11)

Yeah, that's a good segue to the other article topic that you wanted to explore, which is the obligation mindset. So like the art of saying no even when you want to say yes. And my first question, just so that we can get that out there, what is your or how do you define an obligation mindset?

Gary Vaynerchuk (11:29)

Let me just riff because it's interesting. One of the great gifts and curses of my life is I want to say yes to everything. It was a remarkably great gift early on in my career because I had unlimited time, unlimited responsibility, unlimited energy, unlimited ambition, and unlimited humility. Nothing was beneath me. No one was beneath me. Thus everything was yes, yes, yes. And all those incredible yeses created serendipitous outcomes, friendships, memories, inside jokes, and many professional upsides. As my career start to evolve and my life started to evolve, family, children, personal life, obligations, magnitude, and then ultimately hitting this crescendo moment where my time just became outrageously valuable. All those things became true. However, my essence still wants to say yes to everything. Every ask, every need. And it's a really interesting challenge. No question. The best thing I can do 98% of the time in my day, when approached, is to say no. Yet I still say yes 80% of the time, or 50 or 30 or I'm not sure. But I can tell you I'm saying yes to so many things that people quote unquote that look like me, have careers like me, are doing things like me, are saying no to, and view it as an incredible strength. I think that's right, practically. But emotionally I don't Think it's right. And there's a part of me that ideologically and romantically believes that one random yes in the face of everyone else would have said no to it actually leads to something that creates all the other wasted time, quote, unquote, to be net ROI positive. However, even with that romantic ideological POV that is grounded in me actually believing it's true, I do sense a need to be better at saying no to get into a place where I fulfill the obligations I've already said yes to all the way through before I add more yeses, but I'm still trying to figure it out. I think the world is grounded in too many people that say no when they should say maybe, which leads to the best yeses of their lives. And I believe that people get high in their own supply and get too fancy and start saying no out of sheer ego. Those are two things I want to desperately avoid while challenged with. Practically, I should be saying no to many, many things that I say yes to, especially when I have obligations to see through, AKA how much longer can I just surely use my will to make everything happen? And at what cost? The optimist's dilemma.

Interviewer 1 (14:45)

Do you think that. Do you think that the younger, like, younger people should be saying yes because you're saying, like, that? Entitlement, saying no?

Gary Vaynerchuk (14:53)

I think the. I think the three of you would make me throw up if I knew how many things you're saying no to.

Interviewer 3 (15:02)

Like what?

Gary Vaynerchuk (15:03)

Literally anything. I'd like to know what you do with all of your time. And then on one side, I want to see every minute you live on one side of the ledger. And then I want you to show me what you said no to.

Interviewer 3 (15:16)

I'll give you an example.

Interviewer 2 (15:17)

Please.

Interviewer 3 (15:17)

No to a birthday party. Is that specific enough, or do you want me to.

Gary Vaynerchuk (15:22)

That's great. That happened somewhat recently.

Interviewer 3 (15:24)

Yeah.

Gary Vaynerchuk (15:24)

Great. And you decided to do what? Rest.

Interviewer 3 (15:27)

Probably exercise. And then rest. Yeah.

Gary Vaynerchuk (15:30)

And how many hours did you sleep that day? Yeah. And was that an acquaintance? A friend? Massive mistake. Too much serendipitous things could have happened there. Now the question becomes, are you saying no? Let's break it all down. There's rest. Eight. Like, that was during a weekend, likely. Right. Like, I'm already, like, no way. But then it gets the next thing. For example, are you a human where small talk with strangers sucks energy out of you and that puts you in a bad place? The answer is yes. Well, that. Notice how that was my first question. Now I understand why you said no. But now I want to know why? And if you'll love this. And this is like not. Not poking, but this is going to help you. And I know you know me already. It's really out of insecurity or ego

Interviewer 3 (16:31)

for not enjoying small talking.

Gary Vaynerchuk (16:33)

Yeah. There is no other path. And that starts to get interesting in life. Like, you're in such a young place. This is happening in real time right now. You're going to walk. It's perfect. On a Friday, late afternoon. This perfect. You're going to be able to, like, and I know you even a little bit now. Like, you're going to think about this. Like, what if that leads to such a great thing for you that you need to lean into more humility or more confidence? How cool is that? Fuck, man. I wish I had a mentor like me when I was younger. Really, though, this is like, real shit. Like, that is like such a quick. This is, by the way, why I'm mad at therapists. I think they can solve the thing much faster. I think they just want the money. Like, there it is. Pretty cool.

Interviewer 1 (17:16)

You talk about, like, serendipity and saying yes. Like, almost like yes and serendipity. Like, there's a possibility that was created.

Gary Vaynerchuk (17:24)

Correct. Because if you say no, it's over. If you say no to playing Monopoly, you can't win Monopoly. But if you play Monopoly, you could win Monopoly, but you could lose it. But if you don't play it, you've already lost it. So it's. Yes, very clear to me. And when you're young, man, God, so many opportunities, you know, for love, for new friendships, for money making, for exploring your favorite passion that you didn't know. And kids, you guys all need more friends, not less right now. I mean, you work remote. Like, you know, like, my favorite thing about our office is the culture I've created that allows people, once they get there, to know they can say hi to somebody. Your true best friend in the world might be sitting in media department right over there. Like, actually. So cool, you know, and so when you are remote, you need to force yourself even more. Right?

Interviewer 1 (18:28)

Well, hopefully that changes soon.

Gary Vaynerchuk (18:30)

I know, I know, I know. That's.

Interviewer 1 (18:33)

No, it's true. I mean, personally, for me, like, I think a lot of people that I've seen in work have said no because of boundaries, because they're afraid of burnout. So they're afraid of working extra because I'm getting burned out. They're asking too much of me. When I said, yeah, I honestly have been like that as well. And then it flipped a switch like, two years ago, where I'm like, I don't care. I'm going to say yes to everything because I need to make things happen. And it was crazy. That's why I'm like, I'm here.

Gary Vaynerchuk (19:00)

Yep. Yep. And that's why I'm so mad at what the world's selling to these kids right now. And it's gotten so political. Ugh. Like, what system are you fighting to not fulfill your ambition? Like. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like. And by the way, I actually have no feelings towards one. Is allowed, like, just allowed to, like, be complacent or lazy or not productive or mailing it in? I have no. I'm telling you, I have no judgment. I just see a direct correlation to unhappiness with that because the results come along with it, and then you start to blame. We have this concept that there's, like, systematic issues. There's systematic issues in socialism, too. It's called murder in the shadows with no accountability. Like, I don't. I. I don't understand. Like, yeah, but Gary, all the systematic issues, I'm like, okay, where are you going? Like, okay, where are you going? If you can point to the place. Notice how no one who, like, shits on America. America's unlimited problems, in my opinion. But you notice that, like, I don't know where they point to. They love to go to, like, the Nordics to, like, Sweden. I'm like. And then I'm grown and educated. I start to ask questions about depression and suicide levels and what? Like. Like, you know, like, okay, I don't know. And then. And then you have to be lucky. Right? Like, I'm built for this country. I was definitely not built for the Soviet Union. Like, there are people that are built for Sweden that are in America that should be in Sweden, but you're allowed go and get a Sweden citizenship. Well, how. What I'm like, well, that's like, what you need to figure the same engine. That doesn't make you do the thing. Doesn't make you do the thing to go find your happiness there either. It's all the same thing. I just want people to know they're in charge and capable and that hard work is this concept, that hard work is what is burnout when you're 23.

Interviewer 1 (21:16)

I mean, I personally also think what you were saying before of how people are so isolated now, too. So, like, maybe it's not that you're so burnt out, but you're doing this. Like, you feel like you're doing this on your own.

Gary Vaynerchuk (21:27)

Yeah, but you're allowed to get a job in an office. This is the whole cake and eat it too thing. You like, you're so burnt out and lonely, but you like not working as much because you can hide at home. You like not having to commute. You like, you like that. Like again, it's like sleep in the bed that you made. We just created incredible permission for complaining and whining, which then compounds itself.

Interviewer 1 (22:00)

Where do you think that came from?

Gary Vaynerchuk (22:02)

Prosperity. Prosperity. They came from parents allowing it. You guys are the generation and even my generation. We're the generation where like the parents allowed more and just kept seeping and more and more and more until we got to a place where there's no consequences for children doing wrong behaviors. And then, you know, I'm generalizing. I mean, there's 29 year olds who got punished every day for looking the wrong way at their parents. But I'm talking net. So anyway, how do we get there?

Interviewer 1 (22:38)

I don't know. I could, yeah, I could keep going on this kind of topic, but by

Gary Vaynerchuk (22:42)

the way, we're gonna replicate this exact thing we're doing more often. I like you guys. You're the new class. And like, I have a good vibe with you three already. We're gonna a lot of content that we just made. This is for the article. For all the people that want to say yes to everything all the time, always and forever, who maybe like me, have gotten to a place where they've gotten a little bit better because their time has gotten more valuable and they've become a little more disciplined. But still heart and soul want to say yes to everything. You just got to look in a different direction. Realize you have obligated you have the obligation to finish the yeses that you've started. And what I mean by that is I. I get a lot of my companies and a lot of my projects to the 90 percentile and then move on because I have so many more new yeses. And that last 10% really would make a lot of them stronger. And I'm trying to be more disciplined at that. Yeah, that's the punchline. That's what it was. Almost everything. Resi, Empathy wines, all my books be fret like almost everything I do. I'm so talented. I get them to 90%. It feels like 120%, but I know it's 90% and I'm. And the only reason I'm not seeing them to 100%, which would feel like 400% is because I have something else. Fly Fish is opening fucking anything. What do you want? When the book we work on, when I go sell it, you'll see. I'll take my foot off the pedal when it gets to a good place. But I know it's early and I got it. If I didn't say yes to four more things and just saw that through, it'd be three times more successful. That's what I'm trying to figure out later in my life now. That's why I'm calling it the obligation. If I. If I became more romantic of seeing my obligations to 100%, even though my 90% looks like everyone else's 150, which would require me saying no to a couple more things. I think everything that I'm working on would work better. It's very nuanced. I've never heard anyone talk about what I just said.

Interviewer 1 (24:40)

Do you think for someone else? Because like, obviously your 100% might be someone else's 30%. But that's not a comparison. Because that person should just be going to their 100%.

Gary Vaynerchuk (24:51)

Correct? That's right. That's exactly right. That's right. I'm not going to my 100%. And because my 90% looks like everyone else's 200%. It's not obvious, but I know it. And now I'm trying to be vulnerable and introspective and share some content that might help someone else. This article is for the minority of very successful people, which is rare for me. You know, I talk gem pop. That's why it's unusual, which is cool.

Interviewer 3 (25:23)

What's interesting. Sorry, Sammy, I'm going to jump in. You said yesterday with Bryce, you make. I forget the number.

Gary Vaynerchuk (25:29)

We have it on the recording.

Interviewer 3 (25:30)

A couple hundred decisions a day. Basically. Tons of decisions I've seen, like people like Bezos and other executives or former people say if they make only a couple of great decisions in a day, that's a win.

Gary Vaynerchuk (25:43)

Same, same.

Interviewer 3 (25:44)

Okay, so you make a bunch of decisions, but you're happy with a couple. Big picture.

Gary Vaynerchuk (25:51)

Nope. I prefer all of them to be remarkably good decisions. I just know that most of them aren't massively important.

Interviewer 3 (25:58)

Mostly micro huge ones.

Interviewer 1 (26:04)

That's because you know yourself, right? So like anyone else, like, they need to be able to know themselves to have that intuition.

Gary Vaynerchuk (26:12)

Yeah, Sammy. My self awareness. I mean, you guys probably already smell it on me, right? You guys are all new. You're fucking brand new. Like, I'm not looking to like pat myself on the back. We're trying to make content here and think, like, I'm sure it's been pretty clear to you pretty quickly. Like, this dude is like, he knows himself.

Interviewer 1 (26:39)

Oh, 100%. Yeah, like, right away. Because that's why you're able to do all these things, because you know, you're so. You know yourself.

Gary Vaynerchuk (26:46)

Correct. And I lack fear because of that, which means I go fast because I'm not scared of the consequences. And I'm also experienced now. So a lot of the mistakes I made are out of the way. I'm not gonna replicate them. So, like now I'm just in a fucking prime now. I'm really dangerous. And not because I have a switchblade.

Interviewer 1 (27:10)

That's so true. I think it's undervalued also because you have to go through the shit to be able to know how to handle it the next time. Because it's going to seem so small the next time something comes up. Right?

Gary Vaynerchuk (27:19)

Correct.

Interviewer 1 (27:20)

You, you have the experience, the years, you know yourself. And now you're like.

Gary Vaynerchuk (27:24)

And now let me. And now let me tell you the bomb that's going to drop on you. And because I genuinely do not fear the judgment of others, I have to not waste any time. You guys have been around high profile people. Like, I'm not worried about people's opinions because I have the luxury of knowing how good my intent is. Nice guys finish first, friends. Because when you're purely a nice guy or gal, you don't have to think. Because if you're portraying a nice guy or gal, and you're not, you have to maneuver. Maneuvering is heavy and slow. Authenticity is light and fast.

Interviewer 1 (28:32)

I mean, it's like athletes like muscle memory. It's like if you did it, the work you did, all that stuff, game day, you don't even have to, like, think about it. You just trust all the work. Your muscle memory in it.

Gary Vaynerchuk (28:42)

Facts. Thank you, everybody. If you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention and thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.