You Want to Get Really Happy?

Summary

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Podcast Summary

The GaryVee Audio Experience

Episode: You Want to Get Really Happy?
Date: June 21, 2026
Host: Gary Vaynerchuk
Guest: Nikita (and additional contributors)

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Gary Vaynerchuk explores the deeper roots of happiness, self-judgment, balance in the entrepreneurial journey, and how breaking from tradition can unlock real opportunity and joy. The conversation weaves through personal anecdotes, advice on comparisons and education, and actionable insights for creatives aiming to break into competitive industries, especially fashion. The dominant theme: happiness and progress are found in self-awareness, non-judgment, and proactive action, not in societal norms or relentless self-critique.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Balance in Life and Entrepreneurship

• Gary highlights the critical role of balance, countering the ‘hustle culture’ narrative that equates sleeplessness with success.
  • He references past advice (like hustling from 7PM to 2AM) but now stresses clarity and personalizing one’s own sense of balance.

    “Life is about balance. One of the reasons I’m talking more about how much I sleep is because I think a lot of entrepreneurs think staying up all day is how you hustle and win. ...So, balance is incredibly important... and people’s own balance.” — Gary (00:00–01:23)

• He describes his own pattern of working intensely and then fully disconnecting, without guilt.

Judgement as a Barrier to Happiness (& How to Overcome It)

• Judgement, both of others and oneself, is called out as the root of unhappiness.
  • Gary praises his own ability to avoid self-judgment, attributing it to not judging others:

    "You wanna get really happy? Stop judging people. ...You stop judging people, you stop judging yourself." — Gary (01:53)

• Social media is framed not as the problem, but an amplifier of personal issues:

  • "People blame social media. Social media hasn’t done anything except expose us. ...They're empty platforms. We fill it." — Gary (02:10–02:38)

• He encourages listeners to focus on happiness over money and calls out the dangers of comparison.

The Trap of Comparison

• Comparing oneself to others is described as a guaranteed way to lose:
  • Gary shares a personal story of running a liquor store while his friends had flashier lives but didn’t let it affect his self-worth.

    "Anytime one compares themselves to somebody else, they always lose." — Gary (03:00)

  • He points out that you never know the full reality behind others’ apparent success.

Rethinking Education & Pathways to Success (Fashion Industry Example)

• Formal education vs. direct action: Gary challenges the myth that prestigious schools guarantee key industry connections.
  • On the fashion industry:

    “The amount of FIT students and Parsons students that have face time with those three [top designers] is zero. ...You're far more likely to send a top designer DMs and offer to work for free for them.” — Gary (05:15)

• Proactive networking: He outlines a path of direct outreach—DMing designers and models, and using persistence as leverage—rather than accruing debt for uncertain opportunities.

  • "You do that to 400 of the top designers in the world, and none of them answer. ...And then somebody says yes. Until Virgil says yes and you’re in Paris doing an Off White show. This is real." — Gary (05:47)

• Publishing and sharing as the real education:
  • "You’re far more likely to break out as a designer just designing and putting it out on social media than you are to go to a school. ...Talent wins." — Gary (06:59)

Leveraging Social Media & Overcoming Insecurity

• Action over perfection: Gary argues that waiting for the ‘right’ content or big following is the wrong approach.

  • “My game is just put out everything and figure out what people want. ...If you just put it out, you’ll find out. If you sit in your head, you’ll never post.” — Gary (09:36–09:44)

• Insecurity and not posting: The guest, Nikita, relates to the fear of posting due to insecurity. Gary confirms that this is common—and a major block to growth.

The Real Path to Opportunity

• Direct to consumer/industry action: Gary favors the strategy of “putting it out there for free”—whether sketches, collections, or ideas—across platforms like TikTok and Pinterest.
• Persistence, experimentation, and learning in public are repeated as central themes:

  • "Once you look at it a little bit different, it just changes everything. It’s literally just looking at it different." — Gary (10:14)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Judgement:
  • “You wanna get really happy? Stop judging people. ...You stop judging people, you stop judging yourself.” — Gary (01:53)
• On Social Media:
  • “Social media hasn’t done anything except expose us. ...They're empty platforms. We fill it.” — Gary (02:10–02:38)
• On Comparison:
  • “Anytime one compares themselves to somebody else, they always lose.” — Gary (03:00)
• On Education:
  • "You’re far more likely to break out as a designer just designing and putting it out on social media than you are to go to a school. ...Talent wins." — Gary (06:59)
• On Taking Action:
  • "My game is just put out everything and figure out what people want. ...If you just put it out, you’ll find out. If you sit in your head, you’ll never post." — Gary (09:36–09:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:23 — Balance vs. hustle culture; redefining entrepreneur self-care
• 01:36–02:41 — Judgement as poison; why not judging others breeds self-acceptance
• 02:41–03:39 — Social media as a mirror, not the enemy; the emptiness of platforms
• 03:39–04:29 — Comparison and the illusion of knowing others’ happiness
• 04:29–06:47 — Breaking into industries: Education, networking, and real opportunities
• 06:47–07:36 — DIY strategies: Outreach, DMs, persistence
• 07:36–09:00 — Starting without an audience; the opportunity cost of education debt
• 09:00–09:44 — The power of just posting; how overthinking blocks action
• 10:14–end — Shifting perspective; opportunity is closer than you think

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Episode Tone & Takeaway

The episode is classic GaryVee—direct, encouraging, sometimes provocative—combining tough-love realism with actionable optimism. The ultimate message: stop judging, stop comparing, and start doing. Opportunity is available to anyone ready to act and share themselves with the world, without waiting for permission or perfect circumstances.

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Transcript

[A]

This is the GaryVee audio experience. The reason I'm saying out loud it's okay to change is because I like people having the ability to continue to mix and listen. All of this is about balance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, all of it's about, like, life is about balance. Right. Like, one of the reasons I'm talking more about how much I sleep is. Cause I think a lot of entrepreneurs think staying up all day is. Is how you hustle and win. And I'm like, wait a minute. I might be a part of that movement. I need to create clarity. So over the last three, four years, I mean, we had Arianna Huffington on the AskGaryVee show four or five years ago. I've been very thoughtful about clarifying, you know, because in the first book I wrote that broke me out, crushed it, I talked about 7pm to 2 in the morning as the time you do side hustle while you still paid your bills. Cause I was trying to be practical. You can't quit your job. Why don't you work after? Instead of going out or playing Xbox or doing things to escape your real life, why don't you work? And then eventually that thing could become the thing and you can leave, which was great. And I still believe in that. But then obviously, people heard the 2am thing, you know, and like. And so, you know how things evolve. And so balance is incredibly important. The whole. All of it. And people's own balance. For example, for me, I find balance in extremities. Like, I love going hard, you know, Monday through Friday, and I love being completely checked out on the weekend.

[C]

But do you ever. I go pretty hard as well as we all do, but I feel guilty sometimes on the weekend or at moments when I'm not doing anything. And I've got to tell myself, chris, just, you're allowed to do nothing.

[A]

I've never felt guilty.

[C]

You don't feel guilty?

[A]

I would argue. And my friend Tom Belew hit this for me. My ability to not judge myself is my greatest strength. And that's hard. Yeah. Not to be able to judge yourself, that's hard. You know why I don't judge myself? Cause I don't judge other people.

[C]

Hmm.

[A]

You wanna get really happy? Stop judging people. Oh, that's good. You stop judging people. You stop judging yourself. And by the way, for everybody who's driving and you judge people, you don't know anything about them. You don't even know everything about your sister. How are you judging strangers? Like, judgment is poison and has led to so much darkness, especially with social media, what has happened? People blame social media. Social media hasn't done anything except expose us. There's no social media. We're social media. They're empty platforms. We fill it when you leave that nasty comment because you're jealous that that girl's pretty and you're insecure about your looks. That's your darkness. That's not Instagram making you write it.

[C]

It's not Instagram's fault. It's not a video game's fault, bro.

[A]

These platforms are empty. This notion that Facebook or Instagram or the Russians are controlling us is laughable. We need to change society. We need to put happiness on a pedestal, not money. Couple things are exciting to me about your story. Two things stand out quite a bit. Number one, anytime one compares themselves to somebody else, they always lose. When I was 27 years old, I worked in a liquor store and my friends drove to my liquor store and. And would buy champagne and I would carry the box to their BMW.

[B]

I remember you saying that in a video. Yeah, but you had no ego about it, right?

[A]

Because they're. First of all, if your friends have bachelors or are engaged or have moved into a new apartment, I think you should be happy for them.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

But it should stop there. To your point. And I can even tell by your energy you are. But then what happens is. And then you look at yourself and you say, where am I? It just doesn't mean anything. People have to realize life is so long. It's like just cause we're at this point and you're not in the same place as somebody else. There's little value to that comparison. There's just little value. I think so many people get upset about comparing themselves to others without realizing what those others are going through. So it's cool that they have their bachelor's, but they might be in a super abusive relationship. But you don't know. You know what I mean? You really don't. And it's super important that you ground yourself in that and not compare. Number two, far more interesting to me is I wanna play this game of like, why those schools are your dream.

[B]

So it's not necessarily my dream. It's like when I was in school, I did really well and I was like, I know that I'm passionate about it and I'm creative and I have the talent.

[A]

What would you like to happen?

[B]

Networking. And that's another thing. With videos I've watched, I'm usually like, you don't need education. So I was going to ask you

[A]

like, you need education, you don't need to pay for it. In the current packages, they are. Let's play this game. So you want to go to those fashion schools, which I understand those are legit spots.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's say you go there and crush. What would happen next?

[B]

I don't know. It was just a matter of who I met within those years of being there and, like, the fashion directors at those schools or the actual designers themselves. So, like Diana von Furstenberg, Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs, all of those people. So if I were able to get face to face with those people.

[A]

But let's play that out. The amount of fit students and Parsons students that have face to time with those three is zero. They'll come and give a speech. You might take a selfie, but you're not getting real FaceTime. You're far more likely to send a top designer DMs and offer to work for free for them. And they say yes. And then you grab coffee and pick up shmata and actually get close to them and actually get FaceTime than ever going to one of those two schools.

[B]

So what? Like, how would that happen without going to school?

[A]

You would literally take your phone right now and message them and dm, dvf and say, I'm willing to work my face off for free. And you do that to 400 of the top designers in the world, and none of them answer. And then you sit there and say, gary, he told me this was gonna work. I hate him. And then you do it again, and you do it again and do it again. And then somebody says yes. Until Virgil says yes, and you're in Paris doing an off white show. This is real. This is why breaking down this conversation's so important. This is what's so fun for me. The fact that you, in your mind, truly believe that going to those two schools is gonna let you interact face to face with those three is amazing because that's where I get to say, go cool. But not really. And then there's another part of that question. Let's say those schools actually did give you face to face with those three. The next question is, and what then? And so what are you gonna do in that hour? I mean, getting an hour with Calvin Klein's ludicrous. But let's say you get it from Parsons. You know what?

[B]

Good question.

[A]

And it's not a tough question. It doesn't have to be a scary one. Like, I'm not asking to like, ah, I got you. It's about what? Like, do you Want to be a designer?

[B]

Of course I do.

[A]

Well, great. Then I have great news for you. You're far more likely to break out as a designer just designing and putting it out on social media than you are to go to a school. Like, if you have the talent, whether you do go to FIT or you go to Instagram, it's all gonna end up in the same place anyway. Talent wins.

[B]

So if I wanted to go ahead and within the meantime, like, if I started putting everything out there on, like, all of my capsule collections, sketches on Instagram, but I didn't have that following, and I wanted to start my own business within, without an audience, how would I go about actually starting that without having, like.

[A]

Well, first of all, the way you just talked about it, that costs nothing. The other way cost you $240,000 in debt.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Well, I also know. And so that's why I want to bring that up to me. I'd rather you do that. Listen, your ability to put out those sketches, first of all, you put out those sketches, there is a 0.01% chance of a miracle. Right. The other thing you can do is DM those sketches to 5000 top models on Instagram. All you need is one person to think it's cool. I would rather you lay in bed for 11 hours a day and DM people all the sketches, whether they're designers for fashion magazines, fashion pages and models. I genuinely believe what I'm about to say. I believe that's a more likelihood to what you want than going to fit.

[B]

Okay. No, I definitely think so. Because even after school, it would just be kind of. I don't wanna be in the exact same position that I'm in now of, like, oh, I just not necessarily wasted four years of my life, but I just put all of my eggs in that one basket and spent, like, three, four years of my life dwelling on getting to this school to finally get here and then be in the same position. And now what?

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The reason there's so much unhappiness right now in the world, especially in the American world, is there's a ton of people that have hundreds of thousands of dollars in college debt and everything they thought they were gonna get from it, they didn't.

[B]

Basically what happened to me.

[A]

Basically what happened to millions of people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I genuinely think that you need to sketch capsule and put it out for free to the world on all platforms. Like, this is why I yell about TikTok. If you did figure skating, I assume you have athletic rhythm capabilities that most People don't. The fact that you. When I look at you, I'm like, this girl should just go on TikTok and put this stuff out.

[B]

I have a TikTok as well. And it's just a matter of knowing what content to put out there that would grab people attention.

[A]

Work it the other way. That's what everybody does, which is why people fail. My game is just put out everything and figure out what people want.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

After the fact, everybody sits there because this is what gets into insecurity and judgment. That's why I talk about it so much. If you just put it out, you'll find out. If you sit in your head, you'll never post.

[B]

Yeah, that's basically what's happening. I never post. And I think that's, like, I resonated with one of your posts about never posting because of insecurity and just, like, worrying about what other people think and whatnot. But you have to get anywhere that way.

[A]

That's what everyone's doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to continue to put out information that I know is leading to more happiness. You know, like hanging here with Nikita. Like, it's just perspective. It's just. It's. You know, I was born with it. I had parents around me that gave it to me, and I just want to pass that on. Once you look at it a little bit different, it just changes everything. It's literally just looking at it different, it's so exciting for me that I know what you actually want is a lot easier than the way you're seeing the path. It's literally leaving the studio right now, sketching and posting it on Pinterest, and literally that could be the moment. Hey, everybody. If you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention, and thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.