Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.

If you've ever grieved an unrecognized loss, please join us to explore Disenfranchised Grief, the term Dr Doka coined over 35 years ago to describe the grief that rises when a loss isn't openly recognized, publicly mourned, or socially supported, and why so many of us—unkowingly—carry this form of grief.

Drawing on his 50 years in the field, Dr Doka, along with Maria and Ellie who share their lived experiences of disenfranchised grief, unpack: - How grief (the energy generated by a significant loss) can show up emotionally, physically, cognitively, behaviorally and spiritually - The five components of disenfranchised grief - Why we don't "detach" from those we've lost (and why that's healthy) - How judging others' grieving styles can tear relationships apart - Why not acknowledging losses can freeze grief in our bodies for decades - How grief can lead to growth, new insights, strengths, and a understandings of life & spirituality.

Compassionate Inquiry colleagues Maria and Ellie bring personal dimensions to this conversation, sharing their own experiences of reproductive loss—the grief that rarely gets a funeral, a casserole, or even a conversation. If you've ever been told to move on from something you haven't been able to fully grieve, this episode offers perspectives and insights you may find helpful.

About Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, MDiv Senior Vice President of Grief Programs at Hospice Foundation of America (HFA)

The recipient of the 2019 Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association of Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), Doka is also professor emeritus, at the Graduate School of The College of New Rochelle. A prolific author and editor, he serves as editor of HFA's Living with Grief® book series, its Journeys newsletter, and numerous other books and publications. He has been a panelist on HFA's Living with Grief® program for 30 years. Doka is a past president of ADEC, a former board member of the International Work Group on Death, Dying and Bereavement, and an Advisory Board member to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). He is the recipient of The International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement's prestigious Herman Feifel Award and ADEC's Award for Outstanding Contributions in the Field of Death Education. In 2006, he was grandfathered in as a Mental Health Counselor under New York's first state licensure of counselors. Doka is an ordained Lutheran minister.

About Maria de los Angeles Estrada Licensed RN, Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner, Trauma Recovery & Life Coach

A Licensed Registered Nurse in New York state, María has 15 years of combined pediatric and perinatal care experience, as a birth assistant to midwives assisting mothers delivering at the Brooklyn Birthing Center, as well as at home births. She currently dedicates herself to her online private practice as a Trauma Recovery Coach, Life Coach, and Compassionate Inquiry (CI) Practitioner and CI Circle leader. Maria also co-facilitates two Focus Groups for the Spanish CI community: Accompanying Grief Processes with CI and Compassionate Parenting, and is an intern in the CI Portal training.

Born and raised in Uruguay, South America, Maria moved to the United States when she was 18 to rebuild her relationship with her father, who migrated when she was 10. Today the mother of three and grandmother of four, she has been happily remarried for 31 years.

About Ellie Davis Chi Nei Tsang Practitioner and Resilience Coach

Ellie has been walking with others on their healing road since becoming a massage therapist in 1993. In 2008 she expanded into Chi Nei Tsang (a Taoist hands on healing modality which focuses on releasing stress from the vital organs) which led her to Compassionate Inquiry in 2023, and David Kessler's Grief Educator training in 2025.

Having traveled the world helping people access the healing that naturally resides in the body, Ellle recently found her way back to her own roots in Iowa, an unexpected move that facilitated healing her past. She also began standing up for women's reproductive freedom, addressing the Iowa State legislature on the effect of its harsh anti-choice laws. Since her own early history as a "pro-lifer" was upended in 1996, her work with her own grief paved the way to creating abortion grief groups for people who made that choice and the constellations around them.

Promotional Messages:

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Resources:

Websites:

Dr Doka's Professional Website

Maria's CI Professional Profile:

Ellie's Professional Website

When Grief Doesn't Get a Funeral, with Dr Kenneth Doka, Maria de los Angeles Estrada & Ellie Davis