The Girlfriends S3/E2: The Good, The Bad and The Kelly

Summary

Summary of "The Girlfriends: Jailhouse Lawyer - Season 3, Episode 2: The Good, The Bad and The Kelly"

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Introduction

In "The Girlfriends: Jailhouse Lawyer," Season 3, Episode 2 titled "The Good, The Bad and The Kelly," host Anna Sinfield delves deeper into the harrowing story of Kelly Harnett. This episode explores the complex journey of Kelly, a woman who transitioned from being a victim of domestic violence to a convicted murderer fighting to overturn her wrongful conviction. Through a blend of personal narratives, expert insights, and poignant moments, the episode paints a comprehensive picture of Kelly's life, the systemic failures she encountered, and her relentless quest for justice.

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Kelly's Early Life and Family Dynamics

Kelly Harnett's childhood was marked by a close bond with her older brother, Ronnie, and a tumultuous family environment. Born into a well-off Irish American family in Queens, Kelly and Ronnie shared birthdays just a day apart, fostering a deep sibling connection from an early age.

Kelly Harnett [07:24]: "I would say I was so close to Ronnie at the early years that my mother didn't even understand what I was saying."

However, beneath the surface of apparent stability, Kelly's father struggled with alcoholism, leading to frequent conflicts and instability within the household. Her father's erratic behavior and eventual disappearance resulted in financial hardships and emotional trauma for Kelly and Ronnie.

Ronnie Harnett [11:10]: "Their dad being drunk and their mum giving him shit for it just became part of the family noise for a while."

The situation deteriorated further when their father became abusive, culminating in a terrifying incident when Kelly, at seven years old, witnessed her father violently assaulting her mother. This traumatic event left an indelible mark on Kelly, shaping her perception of relationships and personal safety.

Kelly Harnett [14:25]: "I remembered songs that were playing 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World.' Yeah, that was playing when they were kissing."

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Adolescence: Struggles with Addiction and Abuse

As Kelly transitioned into her teenage years, she sought solace in friendships and extracurricular activities. Despite her shy nature, Ronnie played a pivotal role in supporting her, often acting as her protector and confidant.

Ronnie Harnett [12:24]: "The only way that I was able to get through any of this was because of Ronnie."

Kelly's battle with addiction began at 17 when she started using her mother's pain medications to cope with her overwhelming circumstances. Initially, she managed to overcome her addiction through a 28-day rehab program. However, the lack of sustained support led her back to substance abuse, this time with methadone, which only replaced one addiction with another.

Kelly Harnett [22:36]: "I believe I was 17 years old when my mom got sick... So being that she wasn't getting out of the bed, she was just handing them to me."

During this period, Kelly's romantic relationships were fraught with abuse and violence. Each partner contributed to her growing sense of entrapment and despair, further isolating her from her support system.

Kelly Harnett [26:14]: "I think he was gonna kill her. To this day, that was the worst day of my life."

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Relationship with Tommy: The Descent into Violence

Kelly's relationship with Tommy Donovan marked the most significant decline in her life. Initially perceived as a knight in shining armor, Tommy's true nature soon revealed itself. Despite his charm and intelligence, Tommy exhibited extreme violence and possessiveness, exacerbating Kelly's fears and vulnerabilities.

Kelly Harnett [31:56]: "I'm very much emotionally distraught person, just looking and desperate for love. I thought he was like my hero, my knight in shining armor."

Tommy's abusive behavior escalated rapidly, leading to numerous violent incidents that left Kelly feeling trapped and helpless. Her attempts to seek help were met with indifference or further abuse from law enforcement, who failed to protect her from Tommy's wrath.

Kelly Harnett [29:13]: "He got my shirt off, and I grabbed my cell phone. And then he took a knife, and I ran to the bathroom."

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The Night of the Murder: Astoria Park Incident

The culmination of Kelly's tumultuous journey occurred on a fateful night in July 2010 at Astoria Park. What was initially perceived as a domestic disturbance escalated into tragedy when Tommy violently confronted a man named Angel Vargas, resulting in Vargas's death.

Ronnie Harnett [44:37]: "There was like 15 of them that jumped on him and I felt such a sigh of relief..."

While the police initially focused on Tommy as the primary suspect, the situation took a dramatic turn when Kelly was apprehended as a suspect despite being a victim of Tommy's abuse. This misidentification underscored the systemic failures in handling domestic violence cases.

Kelly Harnett [44:51]: "They put me in handcuffs and I was confused. But then I said, well, this is probably protocol."

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Legal Battles and Incarceration

Kelly's arrest marked the beginning of a prolonged and unjust legal battle. Despite her victim status, the legal system swiftly categorized her as a perpetrator, leading to her wrongful conviction for murder. Throughout her incarceration, Kelly became a beacon of hope, dedicating herself to learning the law in an effort to overturn her conviction and advocate for other abused women in prison.

Ronnie Harnett [45:47]: "I think everybody's the victim. You have to think of the domestic violence aspect and not the truth finding aspect."

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Conclusion: A Beacon of Hope

"The Good, The Bad and The Kelly" vividly illustrates the devastating impact of domestic violence and systemic shortcomings in protecting victims. Kelly Harnett's story is a poignant reminder of the resilience required to fight against injustice and the urgent need for societal and legal reforms to support abused individuals.

Through her unwavering determination, Kelly not only strives to reclaim her freedom but also champions the cause of other abused women, making her a true "jailhouse lawyer" and a symbol of hope for many.

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Notable Quotes

• Kelly Harnett [07:24]: "I would say I was so close to Ronnie at the early years that my mother didn't even understand what I was saying."

• Ronnie Harnett [12:24]: "The only way that I was able to get through any of this was because of Ronnie."

• Kelly Harnett [14:25]: "I remembered songs that were playing 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World.' Yeah, that was playing when they were kissing."

• Kelly Harnett [26:14]: "I think he was gonna kill her. To this day, that was the worst day of my life."

• Ronnie Harnett [44:37]: "There was like 15 of them that jumped on him and I felt such a sigh of relief..."

• Kelly Harnett [44:51]: "They put me in handcuffs and I was confused. But then I said, well, this is probably protocol."

• Ronnie Harnett [45:47]: "I think everybody's the victim. You have to think of the domestic violence aspect and not the truth finding aspect."

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Final Thoughts

Anna Sinfield masterfully weaves Kelly Harnett's personal struggles with broader societal issues, offering listeners an in-depth understanding of the complexities surrounding domestic violence and wrongful convictions. "The Girlfriends: Jailhouse Lawyer" not only tells a compelling true crime story but also serves as a powerful advocacy tool for justice and support for victims of abuse.

Transcript

[Kelly Harnett]

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[Ronnie Harnett]

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[Kelly Harnett]

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[Ronnie Harnett]

Hey, it's Anna giving you a heads up on what to expect in this episode. There's going to be a lot about domestic abuse with some examples of pretty extreme violence. We'll talk heavily about addiction and there's also brief references to sexual assault and suicide, so make sure you take care. But don't worry, it's not all bad. You'll get the chance to learn more about Kelly, who she was, the life she led, and you'll hear about the moments of light that shine through the darkness. If you feel impacted by some of the themes in this show, you can reach out to know more. They're a domestic violence charity with a lot of great resources to help you or your loved ones. You can search nomore.org and we've also put a link to Their website in the episode description. Oh, and as usual, there's some bad language. I see all of the teddy bears have come out.

[Kelly Harnett]

That's who came out. Yeah, because Brady and Jonathan told them all about it.

[Ronnie Harnett]

They were getting so much attention.

[Kelly Harnett]

They were. And I was like, all right, I'll bring all of you. Okay.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kelly and Ronnie Harnett have, I think, 30 stuffed toys and counting. They're all over the apartment they share.

[Kelly Harnett]

I still love stuffed animals and the fact that I was not able to have them for so long. When I came out, I got so many of them. So now I have, like, a whole family of stuffed animals. I love them. They make me soft.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kelly's stuffed animal passion is lifelong, but once she comes out of prison, it goes through the roof. To Ronnie, it starts to seem like every time she leaves the house, she returns with a new toy and the apartment is overflowing. So he offers Kelly a deal. She can only bring home a new stuffed toy if it's a different type of animal to the ones they already have. He's hoping that it will slow Kelly down as she tries to find increasingly obscure animals. But the thing about Kelly is she's resourceful. So the collection continues to grow, and now the menagerie of toys with their big personalities has taken over. While I'm here, I'm getting to know a few. There's Ivan the rhino, and he talks like this.

[Kelly Harnett]

Hello. I just want to tell everybody that I call Kelly Cookie because I like milk and cookies.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Alan the bear.

[Kelly Harnett]

Hi. Yeah, hi, Kelly. How you doing?

[Ronnie Harnett]

Sherman the lamb.

[Kelly Harnett]

Yeah, man. My job is called the watcher, so when Ronnie and Kelly don't feel well, I watch them.

[Ronnie Harnett]

We can't forget about his Honor Brady.

[Kelly Harnett]

Of course, he's a reformed judge, but he said he's going to go back to the stand and let all the prisoners out soon. The last one that I will introduce you to.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Luna, A formerly incarcerated stuffed animal that was knitted by a woman Kelly was inside with. Luna's a sea turtle and a mother of two.

[Kelly Harnett]

The cute part, too, is she has a pouch. These are the eggs that she carries.

[Ronnie Harnett]

I did not see that coming. As I'm becoming acquainted with Kelly's fluffy friends, my mind can't help but drift to the night of the murder, when Kelly and her boyfriend, Tommy Donovan, were arrested in Astoria Park. She says the police records show stuffed animals were found at the scene of the crime, including a big blue duck and a dog with wings. If you're wondering how something as innocent and childlike as A stuffed animal could end up in a situation so dark. You're not alone. In the last episode, I told you that. This series is about learning how Kelly ended up where she is today. And now we're going to start figuring that out. I'm going to take you right back to the beginning, way before the night of the murder. And together we'll see if we can trace the path through Kelly's life that led her to Astoria park in July 2010, and that landed her in prison for almost 12 years after that. I'm Anna Sinfield, and from the teams at novel and iHeart podcast, this is the Girlfriends Jailhouse Lawyer.

[Kelly Harnett]

Yes, I got you.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Episode two, the Good, the Bad and the Kelly.

[Kelly Harnett]

As a kid, I was very, very shy. I used to shy away from everybody when I was in an elevator. Anytime anyone came in that my mom knew she would have to say, say hi, Kelly. And I hid behind her leg. Strangers. Oh, gosh, they were just so scary. For me, I was so.

[Ronnie Harnett]

When Kelly's little and shy, there's nobody that quite gets her like her big brother, Ronnie. The two of them were born four years apart. Four years and one day, to be exact. Their birthdays are the day after each other.

[Kelly Harnett]

I would say I was so close to Ronnie at the early years that my mother didn't even understand what I was saying. They would be like, ronnie, come over here. We don't know what she's saying, but I didn't know it was going to turn into such a friendship like we have now.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The moment Kelly and Ronnie really became the double actor that they are today came after a stupid argument. Their mom takes the two bickering five and nine year olds and tells them to stand facing each other.

[Kelly Harnett]

And she said, brother and sister, look at each other. Take a good look. When you guys get older, all that you're going to have is one another. You cannot fit fight with each other. You ought to protect one another. Never go against one another. You always take their side. And it's something that resonated with us forever, really. We took it serious. Like now. It's like prophetic because it's true.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Back in 1986, a young Ronnie has no concept of how prescient his mom's words would become. He's just focusing on being a good big brother. He spends hours coaching Kelly about football and softball so she can play in the streets with the big kids. But one of the best things that Ronnie ever does for Kelly is introduce her to a true 80s icon, Paula Abdul.

[Kelly Harnett]

Oh, my God. It Changed my world. I wanted to be her. If there was a music video, I wanted to see it. I copied all of her moves. Pause, rewind, pause, rewind, pause, rewind. Until I had every single thing down pat. Then I used to call the whole family in and I used to dance right next to the TV and put on shows for them and they loved them. That's when I realized that my love for music was different than other people's.

[Ronnie Harnett]

When the Harnett kids show an interest in something, their parents, Kathleen and Danny, go above and beyond to support them. Coaching their little league baseball teams, paying for gymnastics lessons. One Christmas, they even bought their little Paula Abdul fan a piano.

[Kelly Harnett]

Our Christmases were beyond belief. It looked like Macy's in there. I mean, the amount of toys that my brother and I used to get, we were so spoiled. It was crazy. But it was so much fun.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The Harnett family isn't just comfortable, they're well off. A white collar family from Queens, proud Irish Americans who made it good. Kelly's dad is a hiring manager at mci, which is a telecoms company. Kelly and Ronnie say that at this point he's earning a six figure salary, which is a lot now. Never mind. Back then, for young Kelly, it feels like life is set.

[Kelly Harnett]

When I was 4, I went to Disney World and I remember my mother and father being happy and kissing in the pool. And I remember songs that were playing Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Yeah, that was playing when they were kissing. Yeah, it was.

[Ronnie Harnett]

But their family life isn't a Disney movie. Ronnie, being a few years older than Kelly, starts to notice that things aren't as they should be. The main thing he notices is how much his dad is drinking.

[Kelly Harnett]

He was, I guess what you call a functional alcoholic. You know, he wouldn't miss work. But the thing is, when he went to work, he would drink at work too. And if he came home at 11 o' clock at night, that would be early.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Their dad being drunk and their mum giving him shit for it just became part of the family noise for a while. But then Danny starts to disappear for days on end, coming home drunk to an angry and hurt wife who doesn't want her children to see their father in this state. So even when Danny does turn up, Kathleen often tells him to leave. Sometimes she even calls the police on him when he refuses. Soon enough, Danny loses his job. And without that to ground him, he spirals. He gets new jobs, but he can't hold them down. And eventually he gives up on work entirely. It's not Long before they're evicted from their home. And the one after that, and the one after that, they go from Christmases that look like Macy's to barely being able to make ends meet.

[Kelly Harnett]

The only way that I was able to get through any of this was because of Ronnie. And, like, Ronnie would always joke about things at the most inappropriate times, and. And, like, if Ronnie had not been telling these jokes all along the way, like, I think I would have been such a broken child.

[Ronnie Harnett]

In the middle of all of this dysfunction, Kathleen starts to think Danny might be having an affair. She finds a business card in his wallet.

[Kelly Harnett]

She took down the address. You know, didn't say anything to my dad, Acted like nothing. So she takes me to Manhattan on these stakeouts. We were waiting, like, across the street, and we would wait. We did it a few days in a row. And then one day, she was holding my hand. She goes, there he is. And she dropped my hand. She went running across the street. My dad dropped the lady's hand and looked like he saw a ghost. My mom, instead of going after him, first, grabbed the lady and beat the hell out of the lady. The lady started running and screaming, help, Help. And my mother slapped the hell out of my father and screaming like a truck driver at both of them.

[Ronnie Harnett]

I feel for Kelly, this sounds like an incredibly traumatizing thing to witness. So I'm honestly struck by her little chuckle. It's that laugh, otherwise you'll cry thing, I guess, which is something Kelly does often. But there's also times when the violence between her parents is no laughing matter. The worst example of this happens one terrible night when Kelly is just seven years old. After going AWOL for two weeks, Danny comes home. He's wasted and asking for money. Kathleen tells him she's not giving him anything and to get the hell out.

[Kelly Harnett]

My dad came in, and I saw a look in his eyes that I've never seen before. He stood on the bed, grabbed the phone, and wrapped the cord around my mother's neck and yanked her up on the bed. I ran and I started biting his arm as hard as I could. There was blood everywhere, but he wasn't stopping. So I started more. More like an animal. I already screamed to Ronnie to call 911. My mother was turning colors. And at some point, when I bit again, he, like, twitched and, like, looked at me and, like, I could see my father again. And he saw that his daughter was biting him. And then he looked down and he saw that he had a cord around my mother's neck, and he let it go. And my mother was like, But I wouldn't let go of his arm. And he was like, kelly, Kelly, it's okay. You could let it go now. He didn't even say, I'm sorry. I will never forget that. I thought he was gonna kill her. To this day, that was the worst day of my life.

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[Kelly Harnett]

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[Ronnie Harnett]

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[Kelly Harnett]

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[Ronnie Harnett]

After the horrific phone cord incident, Kelly's parents somehow managed to patch things up. But like before, it never lasts. Kelly's dad moves in and out over and over again. At one point, they split for a few years. Kathleen even has a protection order put on Danny for a time. And while all of this is going on, money is becoming tighter and tighter. One night, Kelly, Ronnie and Kathleen become homeless, sleeping rough at a McDonald's. Danny isn't with them at the time. When Kelly is 13, the family get into an apartment. It's the one she and Ronnie still live in today. With that stability, Danny comes back into the picture. Ronnie feels a lot of resentment towards their dad. He's 17 now, and the scales have long since fallen from his eyes. Kelly still looks at him through the eyes of a child. And it's here in this new flat, this new chance, that Kelly starts to form a real relationship with him. He helps her with her maths homework, takes her to the movies every Sunday. But he's still a bad husband.

[Kelly Harnett]

I feel that my mother deserved a lot better than what he gave her. So if I could look back and change anything, I would have had it that he never came back into her life and that she met a very successful man who was great to her because that's what she deserved. But unfortunately, that's not what happened.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The relationship and their family struggles. It's changed Kathleen and not just mentally. Years of grueling physical work have also taken their toll on her.

[Kelly Harnett]

She ends up with spinal stenosis, which they said it was severe deterioration of her spine. What it was showing was that her spine was collapsing.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kathleen has to go in for serious surgery to help save her spine.

[Kelly Harnett]

They put four rods, 16 screws and a cage in her back. They gave her last rights. They didn't think she was gonna make it.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The surgery is a success in that it doesn't kill Kathleen. But the back pain she's in is still excruciating. And with that comes an overwhelming depression. Both keep her in bed for weeks at a time. Kelly tries to take care of her mum, but she's still just a teenager who's trying to cope with some really heavy shit going on at home.

[Kelly Harnett]

I believe I was 17 years old when my mom got sick. She was being given all sorts of pain medications. In fact so many different ones that she was taking one and there were three others that she didn't feel the need to take and didn't like the way they made her feel. So being that she wasn't getting out of the bed, she was just handing them to me. Can you throw this out? Throw this out along with everything else.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Walking out of her mom's room, Kelly looks at the pills in her hand.

[Kelly Harnett]

I said, I wonder if these will help me stop feeling. And they did. I still felt, but I didn't feel as gloom and doom and depressed as I normally felt. A little bit happier and a little bit like more motivated or like I could handle things. It was potent and that's what I was looking for. I would say within two weeks I was physically addicted to painkillers. Eventually I came clean with my mother and I told her I was hooked. That didn't go over so well. However, she was supportive and she told me to go to rehab. I completed the 28 day program, I came back home and I started taking her pills again.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Like her dad, Kelly is able to function with her addiction for a time. She even attends St. John's University, studying communications. Ronnie and her are working too. Both of them are trying to keep a roof over their heads. Now their mum's essentially bedbound. Kathleen's also becoming increasingly controlling and angry as her injury and depression start to consume her. It seems like she takes a lot of her frustrations out on her kids. It's a lot of weight on young shoulders, too much so. Every weekend to blow off some steam, Kelly and Ronnie go clubbing. They spend all night dancing in hot, sweaty clubs to the best house and techno that late 90s and early 2000s New York has to offer.

[Kelly Harnett]

We used to dance alongside each other or across from each other, and people Used to scream, brother and sister, brother and sister. And it just. It was just the happiest time of my life.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Now, I've been to a few clubs in my time, all of varying degrees of coolness, but I have never heard anything like this. But maybe I'm just not heading to the right places, the ones that go mad for some sibling duo dancing. But these moments are just cracks of light in a dark room. Around this time, Kelly is drugged and sexually assaulted at a party. She also goes through her first major breakup. She spirals into a heavy depression and ends up in psychiatric treatment. Once her mental health improves and at the behest of her mum, Kelly decides to tackle her other major problem. At 19, she joins a methadone program. But all that really does is replace one addiction with another. The program works by increasing the methadone dosage each time you show signs of withdrawal, which is how, in just a matter of months, Kelly climbs from a 40 milligram dose to a whopping 170. Around the same time as all of this is going on, Kelly meets a series of boyfriends. A lot of them in rehab or methadone clinics. And each one more deadbeat than the last one. We'll call Steve. During their relationship, he throws Kelly down the stairs and cracks her ribs.

[Kelly Harnett]

I guess I called Ronnie during it because Ronnie came there with a baseball bat and with my mother, also in a cab. And when they got there, Ronnie told me. He goes, kelly, you kicked the living shit out of that guy. I said, well, he broke my rib. He goes, jesus Christ. He said, I didn't need a baseball bat. You should have seen what you did to him. I remember his shirt. I ripped his shirt except for the bottom, and I think I knocked one of his teeth out.

[Ronnie Harnett]

It's shocking, isn't it, to hear someone accused of murder so candidly talk about violence. It's something I'm still getting used to. It's not what you'd expect from someone who describes themselves as a victim, but there are times when fighting back is the only way to survive. I've never been in a fight in my life, but also, I've not been raised around fighters. Kelly laughs while telling a story that would make me cry. And how lucky am I to still be shocked by the violence of it all? Back to the shitty boyfriends. There's one we'll call Joe. Kelly meets him in rehab, and she says he's the son of a mob boss.

[Kelly Harnett]

The father rented him an apartment in Riverdale, the Bronx, which is a beautiful neighborhood. And he asked me if I wanted to move in with him. Clearly, way too fast. But I didn't want to come home. I was always trying to escape, so I said, hell, yeah, I do. And while in rehab, you know, we kissed once. We knew we liked one another, but we had to sneak a kiss in the laundry room.

[Ronnie Harnett]

But Kelly, being a good Catholic girl who was taught that sex before marriage is a sin, doesn't want to move too fast.

[Kelly Harnett]

I explained I moved in with you because it's rough at home, so can you please treat me as if we are just dating right now? And he seemed okay with that, and he was, for months, which I was so grateful for.

[Ronnie Harnett]

During this time, Kelly keeps spiraling and falling off the wagon. She attempts suicide, but is found in time and taken to a hospital. Only her dad comes to see her. Not long after, Kelly says she comes home to find Jo smoking crack.

[Kelly Harnett]

Even though they say a drug is a drug is a drug. I will be honest with you. If he had disclosed the fact that he was in there for crack, there's no way I would have moved in with him.

[Ronnie Harnett]

She says Joe then tries to assault her.

[Kelly Harnett]

He got my shirt off, and I grabbed my cell phone. And then he took a knife, and I ran to the bathroom. I locked myself in. It was like a nightmare, literally, because the knife was slowly coming through the door. Don't ask me why. I call Ronnie. Poor Ronnie. He's in Astoria. I'm in the Bronx. He's like, oh, my God, call 911.

[Ronnie Harnett]

You know, unfortunately for Kelly, the police aren't much help to her anyway.

[Kelly Harnett]

He's told me in the past that because of his father, because of how powerful he is, he said that he had almost the whole precinct paid off. And I was like, this kid is so exaggerating. Whatever. He just wants me to think that's cool. And I don't. And when the guys got there, the officers, I heard, hey, what's up? And then I heard him slapping five with two of them. And I felt my heart sink. I hear whisper, whisper, whisper. I opened the door. When they knocked on the door, they put me in handcuffs immediately. What the hell? Like, where's the justice?

[Ronnie Harnett]

Then she meets someone who she thinks is finally going to give her the fairytale romance she's been waiting for. It's late spring 2010. Kelly and some other people from the methadone program are hanging out in Union Station Square park at their usual spot near 14th street, when she notices there's a new face in the crowd.

[Kelly Harnett]

There's nothing that made me think that he was on methadone because he was very clean shaven, very handsome, and I was instantly attracted to him.

[Ronnie Harnett]

She hears he's got quite the reputation.

[Kelly Harnett]

Everyone knew him as pissed off Kristoff because he was always pissed off at someone right away I was like, okay, yeah, nice. Anyway, what's your real name? And he told me, Tommy. I said, okay, well, I'll be calling you Tommy. And he's like, no, don't call me that in front of people. Oh, we got games going. I said, okay, so I have to call you Kristoff when we're around people. But then when the people we all.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Know that the combination of clean cut good looks and a bad boy edge is powerful. So it's no surprise that Kelly falls for Tommy fast.

[Kelly Harnett]

I'm very much emotionally distraught person, just looking and desperate for love. I thought he was like my hero, my knight in shining armor. He could protect me and he provided me with what I thought was love.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Their early dates play out like a montage in a 90s ROM com.

[Kelly Harnett]

We would go out to dinner, we went to see the Statue of Liberty. We would take tours of Manhattan as if we were sightseers. So I had so much fun with him. He was so spontaneous, which was so cool. It was just like, I'll see you at this time and then we'll figure it out. And I love that about him. So spontaneous and so exciting.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Tommy isn't like the other guys Kelly's dated. He's cool, fun, incredibly sweet to her, but he can also keep up with her intellectually. He often tells Kelly to meet him in the bookshop Barnes and Noble.

[Kelly Harnett]

He was by far the smartest guy I have ever dated. His intelligence made me fall head over heels in love for him. There's nothing more attractive than an intelligent man.

[Ronnie Harnett]

But during their romantic bookshop dates, Kelly starts to notice that there's one section Tommy seems particularly interested in.

[Kelly Harnett]

In the true crime section. I was like, what is this fascination? He bought them all the time and then he was ripping pages out of the books and like cutting things out, and that was getting a little creepy.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kelly rationalizes her weird feeling away. Tommy's a smart guy. Maybe this is just some intellectual exercise. Plus, who doesn't like a bit of true crime, right? Anyway, compared to her past boyfriends, Tommy still seems like a knight in shining armor. But back at the park, Kelly starts to see yet another side to Tommy, one that she can't explain away.

[Kelly Harnett]

I've seen him assault people as if it was a sport. He thought it was funny that he knew how to choke people out and then they would come back too. Like a few seconds. I was like, but what if they don't?

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[Ryan Reynolds]

There's the part of me that everyone sees. I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian. Apparently I know what funny is. Funny bought me a house. But I also know what isn't funny. Ocd. I've lived with OCD my entire life, and people throw the term around like it's no big deal. But OCD is severe, often debilitating. It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character Your beliefs, even your safety. General therapy can help with some things, but for ocd, it can actually make things worse. That's why I want to tell you about no CD. No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD. If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15 minute call. They are here to help.

[Kelly Harnett]

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[Ronnie Harnett]

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[Kelly Harnett]

Gatorade 0 is it in you? There's always a fine line between, like, being a genius and also being crazy. Sometimes you could be crazy in a quirky way. Sometimes you could be a flat out psychopath. And unfortunately, in this case, that's what it was.

[Ronnie Harnett]

It's early summer in 2010, and Tommy is standing in Kelly's courtyard. The building wraps around him, windows glinting in the sunlight. He's screaming for Kelly. Neighbors start appearing in the windows, wondering what Kelly's new shithead boyfriend is doing this time.

[Kelly Harnett]

One day they got into a fight and I told my mom I was going out there to help her.

[Ronnie Harnett]

This is Lori, Kelly's childhood friend and neighbor.

[Kelly Harnett]

You know, I yelled, kelly, is she okay?

[Ronnie Harnett]

But Kelly just waves Lori off.

[Lori]

We called the police. We tried to get her to stay in the house. Many a times she was over there throwing rocks at the windows and stuff like that.

[Ronnie Harnett]

This is Eileen, Laurie's mom and the matriarch of the apartment block.

[Lori]

He always had this cold stare, and he always looked to argue with anybody. Like people say good morning to him, and he would just. He had to jump right in. My brother one time was getting out of the car, and my brothers know Kelly from growing up, too. Hi, Kelly, how are you? He started arguing with my brother, and my brother said, what are you doing? I'm saying hello to a kid. What's wrong with you? It was like Kelly was his possession.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kelly and Tommy have barely been together for two months, but already he's managed to scare, threatening, and offend everyone in her life, all while his grip on Kelly becomes tighter and tighter. Tommy also threatens a friend of Laurie's with a knife he's hidden under a trash can near Kelly's apartment just because she was gay.

[Lori]

Another time, I was on a bus, a city bus, and Kelly happened to be on the bus, and he Started, like, pulling her hair and really choking her. And he threw her to the floor. I told the bus driver, stop this bus. Me and him started arguing. He says, you're not taking her anywhere. And he was dragging her. I said, kelly, what the hell? This is not right. I mean, he had her on the floor. And, you know, I called the police, and by the time the police came, he was gone. So I spoke to Kelly's mother. I said, listen, something's got to be done about. He was dangerous because the man always carried a knife here, always did something. She said, there's nothing you can do. He didn't want Kelly to go home anymore. But I don't think it was the point that Kelly was staying with him. I think she was afraid to walk away from him.

[Ronnie Harnett]

One day, Tommy asked Kelly whether she'd care if her mom went missing.

[Kelly Harnett]

Now I'm scared to death I have to stay with him. It's not just me anymore. Now it's my whole family. Because if he's talking about getting rid of my mother, what about my brother? He knows that I love my brother so much because I had tried to leave him a couple of times, but he would stalk me. Now I was stuck with him because I had to keep my family safe.

[Ronnie Harnett]

By this point, Kelly knows how dangerous it can be to stand up to Tommy. He's huge, built like a brick shithouse, and he's much, much stronger than she is. He's already hurt her more times than she can count, threatened to kill her and her family. He's dangerous to be around, but even more dangerous to leave. Kelly, like so many women who've been in her same situation, becomes increasingly isolated, cut off from her family and friends, which is exactly where Tommy wants her. He even tells Kelly that they can't go near the methadone program. He's been fighting with people who hang out in the park next to the program, and he doesn't want to show his face, so neither can she. For three days, he stops her from getting the medicine she needs to properly function.

[Kelly Harnett]

I said, well, I'm going because I can't. I'm going to be sick. And he said, no, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. And, like, we had a big fight, Like, I was trying to get on the train. He was pushing me around.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Kelly doesn't go to the clinic because, as she told me, she knew she wasn't going to make it there. I've not really been able to figure out if she meant that casually, like that was a losing argument or fatalistically? I imagine it's both. In any case, Tommy gets his way as usual.

[Kelly Harnett]

Like when she was with him, she wouldn't really want to interact with us, which I found funny because we always had a pact. No man or nobody can come into your life and take away our friendship. Because she was never somebody that wanted people to be concerned about her. Kelly was always just independent and wanted to do things her way. And that's why she started living in the park.

[Ronnie Harnett]

This is the Kelly Harnett that walked into Astoria park that night in July 2010. A woman who witnessed extreme violence and dysfunction at home as a child, who then experienced it herself over and over again in increasing intensity throughout each one of her romantic relationships. A woman who had experienced sexual abuse as a teenager, who then attempted to take her own life multiple times. Who fell deeper and deeper into a years long addiction as she tried to medicate through all the pain. Who was held back from her methadone dose by the most violent of all her partners. A woman who then watched that same partner choke another man to death right in front of her. This is why Kelly calls herself a victim. And I do too. It seems so painfully obvious to me that Kelly's volatile childhood set her on a path where she would come crashing into Tommy, who undoubtedly was then extremely controlling, coercive and violently abusive towards her. So we know what brought Kelly to the point of the murder. But now it's time for the next question. How does she end up in prison for it? To answer that, we need to go back to Astoria park. It's around 4am on July 7. Angel Vargas is dead and police are quickly arriving on the scene. First they focus on Tommy.

[Kelly Harnett]

There was like 15 of them that jumped on him and I felt such a sigh of relief and I just waited there like on the the curb, waiting, waiting, waiting.

[Ronnie Harnett]

But then they turned to Kelly.

[Kelly Harnett]

They put me in handcuffs and I was confused. But then I said, well, this is probably protocol.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The police put Kelly into a car and then they read her her Miranda rights. And that's when she realized cases. She's not being taken in as a witness, she's a suspect.

[Kelly Harnett]

This is bad. This is very bad.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Next time on the Girlfriend's Jailhouse Lawyer. The police filled their case against Kelly.

[Kelly Harnett]

She's like, Kelly, you got arrested.

[Howie Mandel]

Murder.

[Kelly Harnett]

Disgusting pigs. I have absolutely no respect for them. I didn't even fucking commit this crime.

[Ronnie Harnett]

Who's the victim?

[Kelly Harnett]

I think everybody's the victim. You have to think of the domestic violence aspect and not the truth finding aspect. The domestic violence aspect of the matter is that I was afraid of Tommy. No, I'm not gonna worry about going to kick someone I adopted what the they stated so they leave me the fuck alone.

[Ronnie Harnett]

The Girlfriend's Jailhouse Lawyer is produced by Novel for iHeart Podcasts. For more from Novel, visit Novel Audio. The show is hosted by me, Anna Sinfield and is written and produced by me and Lee Meyer with additional production from Jake Otajevic and Michael Jino. Our assistant producer is Madeline Parr. The editors are Georgia Moody and me, Anna Sinfield. Production management from Cherie Houston and Joe Savage. Our fact checker is Danya Suleiman. Sound design, mixing and scoring by Daniel Kemp and Nicholas Alexander. Music supervision by me, Alice Enfield, Lee Meyer and Nicholas Alexander. Original music composed by Nicholas Alexander, Daniel Kempson and Louisa Gerstein. Story development by Willard Foxton. Creative Director of Novel. Max o' Brien and Craig Strachan are our executive producers for Novel and Katrina Norvell and Nikki Etor are the executive producers for iHeart podcast and the marketing lead is Alison Cantor. Thanks also to Carrie Lieberman and the whole team at wme.

[Kelly Harnett]

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[Howie Mandel]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEART or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Ronnie Harnett]

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[Anna Sinfield]

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