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Anna Sinfield
This is an iHeart podcast.
Kal Penn
Hey audiobook lovers, I'm Kalpen, I'm Ed Helms. Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast, Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Each week we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks from audible. Listen to Earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening listening on the free iHeartradio app today forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with spinquest where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash Prizes. New users 30 coin packs are on sale for 10@Spinquest.com SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spendquest.com for more details.
Ali Egan
Let's take a minute to unpack the myths behind GLP1 drugs GLP1 is a long term solution for weight loss True, GLP1 can potentially be a long term solution for weight loss. If you want to be on a drug that changes your body's natural instincts, GLP1 can fix your metabolism. False GLP1s fix hunger and this leads to weight loss. But the GLP1s may actually slow down your metabolic rate as your body the body adjusts to consuming fewer calories. GLP1 leads to a loss of muscle mass True GLP1 can lead to a loss of muscle mass due to losing weight so rapidly that your body is pulling from both fat and muscle to make up for the energy gap from consuming so few calories. If you're looking for a natural GLP1 therapy without the needles, consider metabolism Ignite Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and can help boost your natural GLP1, helping you burn fat instead of muscle. Clinically proven to help you lose 9 pounds in 90 days. Visit veracityselfcare.com and receive 15% off your first purchase with promo code.
Ms. Sahara
IHeart Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch.
Kal Penn
Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should 1.
Ms. Sahara
It's $15 a month.
Anna Sinfield
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Kal Penn
Seriously, it's $15 a month.
Ms. Sahara
3. No big contracts.
Anna Sinfield
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Ms. Sahara
I use it. 5. My mom uses it. Are you. Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right?
Kal Penn
Okay, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
Ali Egan
Payment of $45 for a three month plan, $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offers full price plan options available.
Ms. Sahara
Taxes and fees extra.
Anna Sinfield
Seemintmobile.com hey girlfriends. I just wanted to give you a heads up that this episode includes conversations about domestic violence, transphobia and mentions of attempted suicide. But if you do listen, I'll take you on a rollicking ride into the world of glitz, glamour and beauty pageants. Oh, and there's going to be some swearing. As per usual.
Ms. Sahara
I was in the top three. I cannot believe I'm in the top three.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara is standing on a stage in Thailand. She's wearing a long golden dress that sparkles in the spotlight and a sash with big green letters that say Nigeria.
Ms. Sahara
I didn't think I would ever wear the crown, the main crown, but I could win this.
Anna Sinfield
Next to Ms. Sahara are two women in equally long and golden dresses with Thailand and Lebanon sashes. They are the final contestants at Miss International Queen 2011, the world's biggest beauty pageant for trans women.
Ms. Sahara
Big sets, lighting, backup dances, up to like 50 performing at once on stage is incredible.
Anna Sinfield
The set looks like a big Roman temple with a winding staircase adorned with white statues holding candles. The crowd is electric because the stakes are high.
Ms. Sahara
You win US$10,000. Only one girl win that $10,000.
Anna Sinfield
The hosts are getting everyone ready for the final round. Each of the three remaining contestants has to draw a question from the judges and answer it. Ms. Sahara's question is, other than your parents, who is your idol and what have you learned from that person?
Ms. Sahara
I knew that one of my biggest selling points is speaking, and if given the microphone, I would tear it down.
Anna Sinfield
As the cameras roll For Thailand's Channel 3HD, Ms. Sahara takes the mic.
Ms. Sahara
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and good evening, distinguished judges.
Anna Sinfield
She looks confident. The sequins on her dress glitter under the studio lights.
Ms. Sahara
I would like to be like Shelly Bassi.
Anna Sinfield
That's the legendary Welsh singer renowned for her glamorous stage presence.
Ms. Sahara
She's gone through pain to become the woman that she is.
Anna Sinfield
Sahara speaks directly to the audience.
Ms. Sahara
I have gone through adversity, discrimination and harassment to become the woman that I am. And I'm on this stage today as a living testimony that a dream can come true.
Anna Sinfield
The studio goes wild.
Ms. Sahara
The whole audience erupts in with my answer. I thought I was going to be the first black girl to win it.
Anna Sinfield
But Ms. Sahara doesn't win. Instead, the crown goes to Thailand's local contestant.
Ms. Sahara
She fits into the demographic that they're looking for which is a trans woman who had been taking hormones since they were a child who fits into the cisgender look perfectly well. The pageant wasn't about your performance. It was more about how feminine you are.
Anna Sinfield
In other words, how much you fit the beauty ideal of a woman who isn't trans.
Ms. Sahara
Pubescent, Soft, gentle, meek. Don't talk too much. Be tiny. Tiny shoulder, tiny hands, tiny feet, lighter skin. I don't have any of that. I'm tall. I'm 5 foot 11 on heels. I'm 6 foot 3. But I really don't care. This is who I am. We all come into this world to contribute in one way or the other, and that makes us beautiful. All trans women are beautiful.
Anna Sinfield
This belief would inspire Ms. Sahara to create a brand new trans pageant with glitter and sequins, of course, but also a lot of heart. A community that would welcome trans women from all over the world and embrace their beauty on their own terms. I'm Anna Sinfield, and from the teams at Novel and I Heart podcasts, this is the Girlfriend Spotlight, where we tell stories of women winning today. Miss Sahara crowns queens.
Ms. Sahara
I got you.
Anna Sinfield
I got you. If you've listened to this podcast before, I think it's safe to say that I am no pageant girl, but Miss Sahara certainly is. Would you be able to introduce yourself as you would on a pageant stage?
Ms. Sahara
Oh, that's a good one. So how would I introduce myself? Hello, everyone. Good morning, good evening, and good afternoon. My name is Ms. Sahara. I am a digital media specialist, a activist, and a singer. And I am miss the name of the pageant, and I would say Nigeria.
Anna Sinfield
That's great.
Ms. Sahara
I've never actually thought of that in a very long time because I feel like an old woman now. When it comes to pageantry in the pageant world, I'm a grandma.
Anna Sinfield
It means that you're a queen, you know, a dame of the pageantry. You know, you're not a grandma.
Ms. Sahara
No, I'm more of a dowager.
Anna Sinfield
A dowager countess.
Ms. Sahara
Yeah. The Queen Mother. Yes.
Anna Sinfield
And that comes with a lot of grace and status, so be proud of that one.
Ms. Sahara
Thank you.
Anna Sinfield
So how do you end up on stage, glammed up to the nines and representing your country? Well, to answer that, we have to go back to the 90s to a small village in Benue state, north central Nigeria, where a young Ms. Sahara is watching TV.
Ms. Sahara
I was watching and I saw Miss World.
Anna Sinfield
That's one of the oldest existing international beauty pageants.
Ms. Sahara
I remember seeing it and looking at all the glamour. And I used to love Love it.
Anna Sinfield
Imagine angels singing confetti raining light shining down from the heavens above. A big ah.
Ms. Sahara
I used to wish that I would be on it. I said, I want to be on that stage.
Anna Sinfield
What was it about seeing those women on stage that resonated with you?
Ms. Sahara
When I watched them doing it, like doing a catwalk. Like, you see me wearing a mosquito net, thinking it's a gown. I'll be pretending to be one of them and walking and posing. I think it was the aspirational aspect of it. It's exactly what I wish I could be, and I know I couldn't be. And then growing up, I started seeing that I was more interested in art dancing. And I noticed that this is the area I want to be in performing. Like so. For example, in my grandpapa's compound, he has many wives, and those wives had many kids around my age. So we all used to play together and hang out together. I used to hang out with the girls. We used to tie wrappers around our chest and dance. That is how the women do it. The men tie the wrappers around their waist, but I tie my wrapper around my chest. And I was allowed to explore that aspect of my childhood. But I think I felt very comfortable in my own skin. Growing up, I did spend a lot of time with my grandmama, and she let me just naturally be myself. The gendered stereotype and the behavior wasn't really forced on me until when I started becoming a teenager. It was when people were beginning to ask questions that, why are you not outgrowing? This breast wasn't developing. There was something growing down there that I wasn't comfortable with. And I was like, this is not me.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara's teen years are complicated.
Ms. Sahara
I come from a staunch patriarchal society where a man is a man and a woman is a woman and a boy is a boy, a girl is a girl, where you are nurtured and trained to be a certain way. So how come I am so different? I was incredibly feminine. I thought my brain was telling me that was a woman, that was a girl, and I should act like the rest of the girls. But the society says I am a boy and I should act like a boy. But we didn't really know what the terminology was.
Anna Sinfield
School is hard.
Ms. Sahara
Constant drama of bullying because of the way I was presenting.
Anna Sinfield
And so is home.
Ms. Sahara
When you're being bullied, you can't even talk to your parents because you. You're worried that they will never understand. And it's true, they will not understand. They will say, okay, Start acting like a man then, so stop doing that then. I couldn't talk to my mom, whom was a single parent. She's my hero. The woman has given up so much for us. She's been through hell to bring us up.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara has a younger sister too, so safe to say their mum has a lot on her plate. But Sahara's spreading her wings. After having lived with her mom and sister in Nigeria's capital, Abuja, she starts studying at Benue West State University, about a four hour drive away.
Ms. Sahara
I was able to curl my hair, grow my nails. I would use nail polish on my nails. I wear very light makeup, my clothes are very tight. I wear heat padding because I was away from my mom who was always telling me, oh, don't do that, cut your nails, cut your hair, you need to do this. And you see, she was being a parent because that's what she understood. When my mom found condoms in my bag when I was in the university, she found pictures of my friends dressed up in lingeries that really freaked out. So she took those things and took it to my church where I was a singer and I was part of the choir. And the pastor sat me down asking me all these stupid questions for two days. Did my dad touch me, did I sleep with my dad, am I homosexual? And all that. And I kept telling them, I'm not gay. They don't really understand. And I was trying to explain it, but I just couldn't explain it because even I didn't know the right word to use and I didn't know the history of it.
Anna Sinfield
And there's quite a lot of history actually. Homophobia and transphobia in Nigeria trace back to colonial times. That's when the British violently imposed their own laws and attitudes towards sex and gender onto Nigerians. It was a form of colonial control. Then came the rise of radical religion, Evangelical Christianity imported from the US and ultra conservative interpretations of Islamic. But queer Nigerians have always found a way to exist and support each other. While being trans wasn't an accepted part of her upbringing As a student, Ms. Sahara was able to carve out the space she needed, like getting a side job for a charity, training models and teaching them how to catwalk.
Ms. Sahara
Whenever I have an opportunity to go on stage with the girls, I always dress up as well and join in.
Anna Sinfield
One of the volunteers there notices that Ms. Sahara has that star power herself.
Ms. Sahara
He used to look at me and be laughing and be going, like, you're very good at this. And I know a lot of people that are like, you that live in London, he used to say that. And I was like, really? And he was like, just get a short course and go.
Anna Sinfield
And in early 2004, in her final year of university, Ms. Sahara experiences something that pushes her to take that plunge and get the fuck out.
Ms. Sahara
I was locked up in Nigerian prison for three days or a weekend.
Anna Sinfield
Why?
Ms. Sahara
Someone stole on the bus going back to school to the campus. I was sitting in the front.
Anna Sinfield
The passengers on the bus end up witnessing an accident on the road. In all the chaos, the bus driver claims his money has gone missing and refuses to move until the perp is caught.
Ms. Sahara
And I was like, what's going on? Who took the money? She just give the money back? I suggested, Stupid me. Never experienced police before. Said, look, this is the police station is just next door. Let's go to the police station and let them search us and check who took the money. They searched the bus. They found the money underneath the seat of the conductor.
Anna Sinfield
That's the young boy who collects the fares.
Ms. Sahara
While they were searching all of us, they searched me. They saw my hip padding. They said I was camp and feminine and girly. They already started slapping me and beating me up and telling me, act like a man. Did you steal the money? I said, I did not steal any money. The money that you people are talking about that they stole, the money I have in my bank account is a lot more than that. They knew immediately that there is money to be made because Nigerian police are very corrupt. They beat me up and the driver started pleading on my case and saying, we found the money. This one is a student in the university here. Just let this one go because this one didn't do it. The police refused to let me go. They kept me and the boy together. They put us in the same cell, like a small, tiny box cell with 20 people. And they strip us naked. And, yeah, they beat us up, the boy and I. And I remember they asked me what I was doing. I said, I'm a student. This is the end of your studies.
Anna Sinfield
That's okay. That sounds like a horrible experience.
Ms. Sahara
You're.
Anna Sinfield
Yeah. And so was this really the thing that made you think, I've got to go?
Ms. Sahara
Oh, yeah. I. When I was younger, I tried to commit suicide twice because I felt like. I felt that no one understood me. I remember very well that if I don't leave, I'm going to be successful in ending my life. Because I can't live like this. I just can't. I have to get out. I felt like I was suffocating like grasping for air. And constantly told that was immoral and what I was doing was wrong and who I was every step of the way. When I finished the exams, my mom supported me. She sold her salon equipment, her freezer. I think she sold so many things in order to give me the money to fly. Was shocked to even get the visa. And then I came to the UK and my eyes were open. Sorry.
Anna Sinfield
That's all right. Let's have a little pause, a little break. After the break. Ms. Sahara leaves Nigeria behind.
Ed Helms
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Kal Penn
Forget whatever plans you have this weekend because you're staying at home and playing on spinquest. And there's never been a better time to sign up than right now. New users get $30 coin packs for just $10. All the table games you love, with hundreds of slot games and real cash Prizes. That's at spinquest.com S P I N Q U-E-T.com Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Hey everyone. Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Kalpen and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
Ed Helms
You know what?
Anna Sinfield
I can see you, Esme.
Ed Helms
Mr. Darcy, you got a little call in Firth.
Kal Penn
Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ali Egan
Everyone is talking about GLP1 certified health coach Ali Egan has some Mythbusters to share. Myth number one GLP1 is a long term success solution for Weight Loss ali says true GLP1 can potentially be a long term solution for weight loss. If you want to be on a drug that changes your body and natural instincts, GLP1 can fix your metabolism. Ali says false GLP1s fix hunger and this leads to weight loss. But the GLP1s may actually slow down your metabolic rate as your body adjusts to consuming fewer calories. GLP1 leads to a loss of muscle mass ali says true GLP1 can lead to a loss of muscle mass due to losing weight so rapidly that your body is pulling from both fat and muscle to make up for the energy gap from consuming so few calories. For a natural GLP1 therapy without the needles, consider trying Metabolism Ignite Metabolism Ignite can help boost your natural GLP1 clinically proven to help you lose 9 pounds in 90 days. Visit veracityselfcare.com and receive 15% off your first purchase with promo code iHeartra.
Ms. Sahara
I've got you. I've got you. I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, got you, I've got you.
Anna Sinfield
In July 2004, only a few months after the prison incident, Ms. Sahara arrives in London, UK where she'll be staying with a friend. But a week later she's kicked out by the landlady as new.
Ms. Sahara
You know, I had that Nigerian mentality thinking when you know someone, the person would be willing to keep you and help you no matter what. It doesn't work that way in London. You have to really fend for yourself and you have to go out there and fight for you to survive.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara is now without housing and she only has a three month student visa. It's for a short course in art direction at Central Saint Martin's College of Art and Design. She has just started looking for work when she stumbles upon a colorful parade.
Ms. Sahara
You're so pride.
Anna Sinfield
That's a huge queer festival in the heart of London and I just couldn't.
Ms. Sahara
Believe what I was saying. Two men kissing each other, women kissing each other, trans women, drag queens, everything. And I was like, oh my God, I'm in heaven.
Anna Sinfield
You'd arrived.
Ms. Sahara
I said, I just said to myself, there is no effing way I'm Going back to Nigeria. There's no way I'm going back. My goodness.
Anna Sinfield
Was it when you moved to London that you first really categorically understood that you were trans and you understood what trans was?
Ms. Sahara
It was when I came to the UK here that I saw trans women and I said so. It makes so much sense now.
Anna Sinfield
By day, Sahara starts working at a bakery, scrubbing floors and toilets. By night she goes out in Soho.
Ms. Sahara
I started going out into the club scene, asking for work, and then Heaven nightclub gave me a job as a glamorous hostess.
Anna Sinfield
Heaven is an iconic nightclub for queer people in London.
Ms. Sahara
I wear like 12 inch platform heels, big hair, big makeup, and we go onto the street of London, very cold, like no jackets, going to give out flyers and encouraging people to come in.
Anna Sinfield
Oh, I've met a few of you on the street.
Ms. Sahara
You must have.
Anna Sinfield
Yes, you've probably given me a flyer.
Ms. Sahara
Probably. And then we'll go back into have a nightclub and then we host the night. And it's actually quite fun. In those days working in the nightclub scene, I met so many trans women. Keep asking them, how did you do that? Why did you do this? Asking them questions and unfortunately led to many mistakes that I made from surgeries. So many things I did where, where I regret it up to today because of that lack of education and lack of support. Growing up, taking dangerous medications, self medicating to get prescription was very difficult because many GPs don't even know what trans means. I went to so many GPs to finally finding a GP that understood and then referred me to a psychotherapist.
Anna Sinfield
All of this while trying to find her feet in a new city. And it's at work at heaven nightclub that Ms. Sahara is scouted to become a model.
Ms. Sahara
I used to model in different parts, like London Fashion Week. I was on the COVID of Timeout magazine. Wow. And then, yeah, I was. Yeah. And I was on the billboards actually, and the tube. It was so weird.
Anna Sinfield
It was so weird.
Ms. Sahara
Yeah.
Anna Sinfield
Your whole life just flipped around, didn't it?
Ms. Sahara
I know, I know, I know.
Anna Sinfield
She even tries her luck at applying to Britain's Next Top Model.
Ms. Sahara
I never got picked. Tried to compete in cisgender pageants. I was never picked.
Anna Sinfield
If cisgender is a new word for you, it just means people who aren't trans.
Ms. Sahara
There were so many pageants and so many opportunities like modeling. I even went for casting and I got rejected for being trans.
Anna Sinfield
But Ms. Sahara is booked and busy.
Ms. Sahara
And then my agent got me a job to model for Mario Testino in New York and they were gonna pay me £7,000. This was a big amount of money for me. It's a life changing amount.
Anna Sinfield
When her agent tells her about the booking, she's delighted. But there's a problem.
Ms. Sahara
I told him, I don't have papers, my papers have expired.
Anna Sinfield
Her student visa has run out.
Ms. Sahara
I became illegal. That's what they used to call undocumented people. And it was a time when the Conservative government was putting a lot of heat on the Labour government. And they made it very clear they don't want immigrants here. It was quite hostile.
Anna Sinfield
Unfortunately, this is very much still happening, babes.
Ms. Sahara
So I started asking questions, researching. Then I found out about a place called Refugee Legal Center. I explained that I'm a trans woman from Nigeria who does not have papers, I'm illegal. And luckily enough, there is a woman on the phone and she was so kind and she prepared my papers and sent me off to the home office and told me that I may likely be deported. I was so scared, I called my mom. It's very likely I'm coming home. I'm coming home too early. And she said to me, just go there, do what you have to do. So they sent me there. They even did like a medical search of me because they didn't believe that was a trans woman. They thought I was faking it.
Anna Sinfield
Gosh, it's very invasive.
Ms. Sahara
It was very invasive, actually.
Anna Sinfield
After all of this, Ms. Sahara has to wait to hear whether she'll be allowed to stay in the uk. And she waits and waits and waits for two years until she finally gets her papers. Way too late to make it to New York for that modeling job. But it'll be an even longer road to get papers that reflect her gender. A whole suing of the Home office later, and she's equipped with asylum in the UK and a passport that labels her female. It's a case that creates a precedent. Immediately. She knows exactly how she wants to celebrate.
Ms. Sahara
So the first thing that came to my mind is to start applying for pageantry again. Applying to all these places that rejected me. I looked at the age. Oh, God, the age. I've already aged out.
Anna Sinfield
And what age is aging out when.
Ms. Sahara
You hit the age of then it was 27.
Anna Sinfield
How ancient?
Ms. Sahara
That was very Asian, right? And then I said, okay, let me see what I can do. Okay, let me join trans pageants then.
Anna Sinfield
Trans pageants are not so ageist, apparently. And why not start at the top? Ms. International Queen, the biggest trans pageant in the world, put on in Thailand. The company running it is Tiffany Sho Pattaya, which is behind the first trans cabaret of Southeast Asia. It goes all the way back to the 70s. But controversially, the organizers assist gender. It's also sponsored by the Thai tourism department because of all the tourists that.
Ms. Sahara
Come to watch, they all come there to marvel. So when they are performing on stage, these trans women are gawked at and treated like, oh, my God, I can't believe this is a man.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara is obviously not thrilled about this, but there isn't much else available, so she decides to compete. Anyways, listeners, we've actually already been at this pageant together. At the start of the episode, when the Thai contestant was crowned ahead of Ms. Sahara.
Ms. Sahara
Their selection every year was very strategic. You could tell who is gonna win because I know their formula. I know what they're looking for. They like popular girls, girls who are in the media, girls who are already famous in their countries, girls who will give them prominence because it's a business. I think I felt that me, I was a political choice to be put into the top three because I felt that the reason why they put me there was because I had a documentary crew.
Anna Sinfield
Yes. What I didn't tell you before is that Ms. Sahara's journey on the show is accompanied by a documentary crew from the Sky Living Channel. The program comes out in 2012 and.
Ms. Sahara
They called it the Ladyboys. I was pissed off because I said to them, I don't want to be on a show called the Ladyboys. I'm not a ladyboy, I'm a woman. Don't call me ladyboy because it's derogatory term. And some of the things that they were saying was very invasive. Like I was in the process of having my bottom surgery. They were talking about my bottom surgery, and I felt that it was wrong. And then everything just went nuclear. Before the documentary, I was living my life as a woman quietly in society, blending in quietly. But when the documentary came out, I started having issues with both in the UK and in Nigeria because it was evident that I was a trans woman now, and Nigerians were very upset by it.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara becomes the first trans woman from Nigeria to come out in international media, and she sees her mum in person for the first time since leaving home.
Ms. Sahara
I know it was very difficult for her. When I came out as a trans woman, and I totally understand, she was like, why do you want to do that? Do you know? Watch what you see on Jerry Springer's.
Anna Sinfield
That's a popular American daytime talk show from the 90s and noughties. It's Agony aunt style, but with families. And the host, Jerry Springer, would frequently feature trans women in segments like thought you were a girl. You get the gist. It was not cute.
Ms. Sahara
And I laughed. She referenced that. And I just say, oh, my God. Yeah, because of lack of education on the subject. Like, once she said something about people were talking about me and they were being very derogatory that they don't even know me. I said, I know, I know. But nobody would choose to be harassed and beaten up, constantly called names and treated really badly. There is no privilege in a trans person or a feminine boy. In Nigeria growing up, if you were.
Anna Sinfield
Comfortable being a man, you would stay being a man. You know?
Ms. Sahara
Exactly.
Anna Sinfield
Because that is a position of privilege.
Ms. Sahara
Exactly. No one would choose that. And I remember when I first told my mom that I was going to. This is my journey. I'm becoming a woman. She said to me, why? I never forget this. She said, why do you want to be a woman? She said something in the essence that men have more privilege and women don't have any. And she's right. And I understand because of what she went through. She's like, why would you want to be that? And. And then I said, it's not a choice for me. It's not a choice. I didn't choose to feel the way I feel. I know a lot of people say, oh, it's not a feeling to be a woman, but the truth is, that's who I am. My innate sense of self says that's who I am. Yes, the way I look is a choice. Being glamorous and being the person I am, going on stage and doing, that's a choice. But I didn't choose to. To wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and be happy with who I am now. But when I was growing up as a child and not be happy with it, my brain keep telling me, what is that? Who are you? You have no breasts, you have no vagina. What is that? You know, there are a lot of trans people who do not have dysphoria, but mine was very intense, as in, like, it was really bad. And not all trans people are like me. And they are totally valid, too. And this is why I always say to people that there is no single path into womanhood. Everybody's journey is different. If you are being exclusive in your womanhood, then you're not a true feminist.
Anna Sinfield
After the social media backlash, Ms. Sahara withdraws from the public eye. But the whole ordeal ignites something in her. A new purpose that's it.
Ms. Sahara
I'm gonna do more pageants. I'll show them what it means to be trans.
Anna Sinfield
After the break the crown.
Ed Helms
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Kal Penn
Hey everyone, Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
Ed Helms
You know what?
Ms. Sahara
I can see you as Mr. Darcy.
Ed Helms
You got a little Colin Firth.
Kal Penn
Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Earsay, the audible and I Heart Audience Radio Book Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Allie
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Anna Sinfield
What kind of man would let this happen to his family?
Kal Penn
Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.
Ms. Sahara
On a story about the Murdochs.
Ali Egan
Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.
Ms. Sahara
Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.
Kal Penn
It's only cheating if you get caught. Hulu Original Series Murdoch Death in the.
Ms. Sahara
Family New episodes Wednesdays on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply. Got you. I've got you. Got you. I've got you.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara is representing Nigeria in pageants around the world to show the haters that you can't keep a good woman down. But she keeps hitting a wall with the judging criteria.
Ms. Sahara
I had problems with so many trans pageants when I joined them and seen their process of selection, and I found it to be restrictive, discriminatory, and incredibly patriarchal.
Anna Sinfield
Something you said that I thought was really interesting is like, how narrow the beauty standards are that the women are being judged on. That idea that beauty is like a certain very limited lens makes it feel like a place where I wouldn't want to try and put myself in to be judged, you know, by that criteria. What is beauty to you and why do you actually want to interact with. With these spaces?
Ms. Sahara
Yeah. For me, beauty is beyond physical. It's more, in my opinion, interpreted into your talent, creativity and how well you speak inspire with people and how you influence people around you. That is beauty for me. I don't believe there should be a physical set of rules that makes you beautiful.
Anna Sinfield
In 2014, Ms. Sahara gets scouted for another pageant.
Ms. Sahara
I got a phone call asking me to come and compete in the Philippines for a pageant called Super Serena. Supaserina means super Mermaid. It's one of the longest TV shows in the Philippines.
Anna Sinfield
For the first time, this popular Filipino daytime show is being made into an international competition. Unlike other pageants, which usually have around 30 contestants, this one only has eight.
Ms. Sahara
Before I went, I was telling my mum, I'm not ready. I don't think I will do it.
Anna Sinfield
It's sweet, really. Despite the backlash In Nigeria, when Ms. Sahara came out as trans, her mum becomes an ally.
Ms. Sahara
My mom was like, no, just go and have Fun. They're paying for your flight. They're giving you $500 pocket fee. They will help you with costume if you need it. You have nothing to lose. So I went there with allergy under my eyes. My eyes were swollen. I was really in a bad place. I didn't get my visa on time. I arrived late going in and seeing the process. All eight of us were given the same equal limelight.
Anna Sinfield
For over a week, the eight contestants are whisked in and out of costumes to go on tv. As they do their intros and catwalks, backup dancers throw shapes behind them. But there's also plenty of time to answer questions. And show personality Ms. Sahara doesn't want to get her hopes up.
Ms. Sahara
I saw the Filipino that she's so flawless, like beautiful, representing Philippines. She's gonna win it anyway, just like Thailand. So in Southeast Asia, black skin is not seen as beautiful. And I'm just gonna have fun because my mom said to me, go there and have fun. So I went there making fun of the presenters and just enjoying myself, making people laugh. And because I've been to the Philippines before, I did some of my surgeries in the Philippines, so I know the Filipino culture very well. Many of my very close friends are from the Philippines, so I know some of the lingo because I knew it's a funny show and I wanted to give them fun.
Anna Sinfield
They do a round where everyone has to wear their national costumes and Ms. Sahara goes all out. She has horns on her head and on her tits.
Ms. Sahara
They were just absolutely loved it. I was so happy about her.
Anna Sinfield
And was it fun with the other competitors?
Ms. Sahara
They were in competition mode. Everybody wants to win. Yeah. I was like, I just came to clap for the winner, so I'm just gonna enjoy myself. I don't really care.
Anna Sinfield
Right before the crowning, they ask her to share why she lives in London. And she tells her story, the one you heard earlier. What was kind of hanging in the balance for you in that moment before you won. What would it have meant to win that?
Ms. Sahara
For me, it was a dream. I've always wanted to win something at least. I've been doing pageantry at that point for a very long time. And I'm always a clapper. We call ourselves clappers. We clap for the winner. I'm always a runner up, but this.
Anna Sinfield
Time, things were different.
Ms. Sahara
When they called my name, I was shocked. I was crying.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Sahara is crowned the first ever Miss Super Serena Worldwide.
Ms. Sahara
People were laughing at me. I had snap on veneers. If you see the teeth, the Lipstick standing. It was so funny. I looked very weird, but I went in there wanting to have fun. So when I won it, I just couldn't believe it.
Anna Sinfield
Her price, $10,000. A sash, a scepter, and of course, a big glittery crown. Her childhood dream has finally come true. Ms. Sahara is a pageant queen.
Ms. Sahara
And then I was getting so many followers, I got like, overnight I got 20,000. And it's like increasing, increasing. And I said, okay, so I need to do something.
Anna Sinfield
She makes a promise to shake up the world of trans pageantry.
Ms. Sahara
My experience in a pageant I did in Philippines really opened my eyes to what I don't want in a pageant again and how I want to do it differently from what they are doing. Trans pageantry is back in the 50s. But what people forget is that we need the spaces to empower a lot of black and brown trans women. If they won't allow us on the table, we'll make our own chair and create our own table and our own space.
Anna Sinfield
So in the pandemic, when everyone was living their lives on zoom calls, she has an idea.
Ms. Sahara
We're all at home. I saw my trans sisters desperate, looking for somewhere to express themselves. So I was thinking about, let's do digital. Let's start a barge end. So I spoke to activists from around the world, my very close friends that have big platforms. So we came together and we had a conversation about it, and they were like, let's start a platform where it's a pageant, but is advocacy focused only? And I say yes. And those of us who have competed before will learn from the past experiences and correct those things that those pageants are doing with our pageant, even though we don't have the resources. So that was all we did. And Ms. Transgebo was born.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Trans Global, a new kind of trans pageant.
Ms. Sahara
We don't class ourselves as a beauty pageant. We call ourselves as an advocacy pageant.
Anna Sinfield
There are fewer participants, so you can really get to know people. And they're joining from around the world, submitting videos about themselves for different rounds. Still a pageant, of course, they have to make videos of their gowns, their catwalks, et cetera. But the most important part is to showcase creativity, talents, and social impact.
Ms. Sahara
There's a lot more than just looking pretty and being on stage. Yeah, the judges get enamored by you, but those parts does not score you high. Your indoor interview scores you higher. Your final question and answer scores. And the queen's speech is the main one that scores incredibly high, which is very important because it's where you give us one year manifesto of what you're going to do when you become Ms. Transglobal. It's very important because you are helping our community.
Anna Sinfield
The competition spans six months leading up to the grand coronation, which is a live stream on YouTube and Facebook for a worldwide audience. And if you win, you get the empowered queen crown.
Ms. Sahara
Every week, we're giving them tasks to do. We had girls from refugee camps.
Anna Sinfield
One of them was using scraps from her bed to create her costumes.
Ms. Sahara
We have girls who were creating their content because of their isolation. And a lot of girls were stuck at home with transphobic family members, and they were having to sneak out to shoot their content. And with the restriction of going out, some people were tiptoeing. When they see the police, they will run and hide. And the story was just amazing. Seeing what. What the girls were doing, I didn't think it was going to be popular. I didn't even think people would even watch it. And it just went nuclear. The page had so many visitors, over 1 million. And I was like, my goodness, this is serious, you know?
Anna Sinfield
Can you describe the crowning of the first Ms. Transglobal? That moment.
Ms. Sahara
Oh, my God. Philippines was the first winner. God. I was in floods of tears because I was shocked, shocked that I didn't know it's going to mean that much to them. And she just lost it. He said it was already very late at night. The parents were sleeping from the screaming. They woke up and they ran downstairs. They couldn't believe it. The family, they were so happy. And I was like, oh, my God. This is why we started Ms. Transglobal. It's changing their lives. It's giving them a purpose, and it's giving them a chance to go out there and be an example for our community. And I think that's alone. It's enough. The Philippines winner, Mela Habijan, she's done so much for the community over there after winning Miss Transglobal because she got so much media attention. Even though a lot of people look down on pageantry, pageantry is not just about just showing your talent and leave. No, there is something beyond that. We use the voice and the platform that we're giving to educate people, to encourage people, to support us, to raise more awareness about our situation.
Anna Sinfield
Ms. Transglobal was such a success that in 2023, it became a physical pageant.
Ms. Sahara
God, the drama. Ooh, the fight.
Anna Sinfield
What was the drama?
Ms. Sahara
All girls wanted to win so badly. And I'm introducing a new seminar which is how to lose with grace.
Anna Sinfield
Why are the contestants taking part?
Ms. Sahara
It's a safe space for all trans women, including non binary people. You can be a baby trans. You can be two minutes into your transness and join Ms. Transglobal. You're very welcome in that space. We welcome everyone who want to occupy that space of performing. Looking for a space for them to perform on stage. Come on stage and tell the stories. Get them, give them the microphone to speak. We want girls who are truly activists and girls who advocacies in their blood when they're talking about issues happening in their local countries or things that they've gone through. Like, majority of our participants are asylum seekers living the United Kingdom here. And they all come with so much scars. And I totally identify with them because of what I've been through. And from some of them acquiring HIV and AIDS through rape, to how their families have disowned them, to some being locked in prison like myself, to others who have been attacked, like our current queen, she almost lost her arm because she was attacked by two men in Brazil. When you hear their stories, it's like, it's just so inspiring. I know that what we're doing, as much as it doesn't give them a financial boost, it gives them confidence. We build a lot of confidence.
Anna Sinfield
Wow. I mean, it sounds like an amazing community. Like far beyond just the pageantry that we as outsiders get to see.
Ms. Sahara
Yes, the pageantry is the magnet that brings us together.
Anna Sinfield
And together they're visible, visibly beautiful in their own ways, glittering under the spotlights in their sequins and sashes, talking about the good they want to do in the world, about the sisterhood they create, and also just being fabulous. If you've enjoyed this conversation, you can find loads more incredible women on our feed. Do check them out. And please do spread the word and tell your friends about us. We want as many people as possible to be part of the Girlfriends gang next. This time on the Girlfriend Spotlight, Lois captures criminals.
Ali Egan
After all these years.
Anna Sinfield
Yeah, I got justice for what I went through. That stupid guy got me going after.
Ms. Sahara
Every kind of guy like him.
Anna Sinfield
This season we're supporting the charity Womankind Worldwide. They do amazing work to help women's rights organizations and movements to strengthen and grow. If you'd like to find out more or donate to help them secure equal rights for women and girls across the globe, you can go to womankind.org the Girlfriends Spotlight is produced by Novel for Iheart Podcasts. For more from Novel, visit Novel Audio. The show is hosted by me, Anna Sinfield. This episode was written and produced by Amalia Sortland. Our assistant producer is Lucy Carr. Our researcher is Zayana Youssef. Sensitivity checking and editorial support by Jessie Lu Lawson. The editor is Hannah Marshall. Matt, Max o' Brien and Craig Strachan are our executive producers. Production management from Joe Savage, Cherie Houston and Charlotte Wolf. Sound design, mixing and scoring by Mark Pittam Music supervision by Jake Kotajevic, Nicholas Alexander and Anna Sinfield. Original music composed by Louisa Gerstein and Gemma Freeman. The series artwork was designed by Christina Lehmcool. Willard Foxton is creating Director of Development and special thanks to Katrina Norvell, Carrie Lieberman and Will Pearson at iheart Podcasts as well as Carly Frankel and the whole team at wme.
Kal Penn
Hey audiobook lovers. I'm Cal Penn. I'm Ed Helms. Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast Hearsay. The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Each week we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks from Audible. Listen to earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart Followersay, and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today. Get ready to power up your play with Nintendo Switch 2. Power up the visuals with 4K support and a bigger, more vivid screen. Power up the fun with exclusive new games like Mario Kart World and Donkey Kong bonanza Nintendo Switch 2 all together, anytime anywhere games rated E to E10 plus games and systems sold separately. Compatible TV required for 4K display.
Allie
If you're struggling to lose weight and you're tired of quick fixes that don't last, listen up. I'm Allie, Certified health Coach and founder of Veracity. I created Metabolism Ignite to help you finally get real, lasting results naturally. This isn't another fad. Metabolism Ignite is clinically proven to target the root cause of weight gain. Your metabolism helping people lose an average of nine pounds in just 90 days. It's doctor recommended, award winning and developed with a team of 11 physicians. Our formula boosts your metabolism on a cellular level using a powerful natural blend of ingredients. That means no drugs, no side effects, and it's even safe for nursing moms. Over 25, 000 people are already seeing the difference and the five star reviews speak for themselves. Visit veracityselfcare.com that's B E R A C I T Y and use code IHEART for 15% off your first order. This stacks with our subscription savings for up to 45% off today. Go to veracityselfcare.com and start feeling like your best self again.
Ms. Sahara
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Kal Penn
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Ms. Sahara
Leaving too long, playing too little. New homes, new babies. Waking them up when they look so comfy. Running out of patience. Running out of treats, Running the vacuum. You can only do so much. That's why there's hills. Science led nutrition to help you give more love than humanly possible because you're only human. There's hills. Find the right food@hillspet.com science does more. This is an I Heart podcast.
Episode Title: Miss saHHara Crowns Queens
Host: Anna Sinfield
Guest: Miss saHHara
Released: October 27, 2025
This emotionally rich episode of The Girlfriends: Spotlight tells the remarkable life story of Miss saHHara, a Nigerian-born trans woman, activist, and international beauty queen who revolutionized trans pageantry. Guided by journalist Anna Sinfield, the conversation follows Miss saHHara’s incredible journey—from her challenging upbringing in deeply conservative Nigeria, through survival, migration, and self-discovery, to her crowning moment and the founding of Ms. Trans Global, a pageant redefining what beauty and advocacy look like for trans women worldwide.
Childhood & Gender Nonconformity (08:31–10:51)
“I used to wish that I would be on it. I said, I want to be on that stage.” (09:11, Ms. Sahara)
“It was when people were beginning to ask questions: why are you not outgrowing? … There was something growing down there that I wasn’t comfortable with, and I was like, this is not me.” (10:34, Ms. Sahara)
Family & School Pressures (10:51–12:17)
University Life & Confrontation (12:17–15:12)
Arrest and Trauma (14:24–16:55)
“When I was younger, I tried to commit suicide twice because I felt … that no one understood me. … I remember very well that if I don’t leave, I’m going to be successful in ending my life.” (16:55, Ms. Sahara)
Arrival & Culture Shock (22:10–23:27)
Navigating Work & Transition (23:49–26:02)
Modeling & Undocumented Struggles (25:22–28:14)
The Big Stage and Setbacks (28:14–31:08)
Family Reactions and Societal Critique (31:08–33:48)
“Nobody would choose to be harassed and beaten up, constantly called names and treated really badly. There is no privilege in a trans person or a feminine boy in Nigeria.” (32:05, Ms. Sahara)
Winning Miss Super Serena Worldwide (39:22–42:49)
Founding Ms. Trans Global: A New Model (43:13–49:35)
“It’s changing their lives. It’s giving them a purpose, and it’s giving them a chance to go out there and be an example for our community.” (46:37, Ms. Sahara)
Inclusivity & Purpose
On purpose:
“We all come into this world to contribute in one way or the other, and that makes us beautiful. All trans women are beautiful.” (06:01, Ms. Sahara)
On self-acceptance:
“I didn't choose to wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and be happy with who I am now.” (32:38, Ms. Sahara)
On joy after adversity:
“I looked very weird, but I went in there wanting to have fun. So when I won it, I just couldn’t believe it.” (42:36, Ms. Sahara)
On pageantry as activism:
“We don’t class ourselves as a beauty pageant. We call ourselves as an advocacy pageant.” (44:40, Ms. Sahara)
On sisterhood and confidence:
“It doesn’t give them a financial boost, it gives them confidence. We build a lot of confidence.” (49:14, Ms. Sahara)
The conversation between Anna Sinfield and Miss saHHara is candid, heartfelt, and at times, raw. It juxtaposes glitz, glamour, and hard-won self-love with the gritty realities of transphobia, displacement, and resilience. Miss saHHara’s humor and wisdom radiate, especially in moments where she discusses reclaiming spaces and redefining beauty on her own terms.
Ultimately, the episode is a powerful testament to transformation: of pain into activism, and of exclusion into a vibrant, global sisterhood.
If you are affected by themes of domestic violence or transphobia, reach out to NO MORE, or for women's rights support visit Womankind Worldwide.
Produced by Novel for iHeartPodcasts. Hosted by Anna Sinfield.