Magic Shops, $200 Million Horse Ads, and the Ghost of Nibbles the Goat

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Gist

Episode: Magic Shops, $200 Million Horse Ads, and the Ghost of Nibbles the Goat
Host: Mike Pesca (Peach Fish Productions)
Date: March 28, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Gist dives into the recent controversies surrounding South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, with particular focus on her extravagant advertising spending, her much-publicized history with animals, and the political fallout involving Corey Lewandowski. With Mike Pesca’s signature blend of wit and critical insight, the episode also features a satirical interview with the “ghost” of Noem’s former goat, Nibbles, shining a light on overlooked stories and absurdities in American political culture.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Kristi Noem’s $200 Million Ad Campaign (& the $20,000 Horse)

• Mike recounts the saga of Kristi Noem’s political campaign spends, highlighting a commercial that featured her on horseback.
• Pesca clarifies confusion from earlier reports on the ad’s cost, noting that the entire campaign was $200 million, not just the commercial.
  • “It was a fifth of a billion dollar campaign to put out into the world the fact that Kristi Noem looks great on a horse, which looks even better than Kristi Noem.” [01:55]
• The horse itself became a central figure, even “stealing focus” from Noem.
  • “The horse is stealing focus, Kristi.” – Unnamed interviewer [02:38]
• Costs detailed:
  • $20,000 for horse rental
  • $3,781 on hair and makeup
  • $500 unaccounted for at a South Dakota magic shop (mulled humorously)

2. Noem’s Grim Animal Stories: Dog and Goat

• Noem’s history with animals (her admission of having shot her dog, Cricket), is explored and contextualized via a recent TV interview.
  • "It tells a lot of vulnerable stories of my life, of tough decisions that I've had to make over time… It was choosing between the safety of my little kids and the public and protecting them versus a dangerous animal that was killing livestock and attacking people.” – Kristi Noem [07:21]
• The episode turns to a lesser-known incident: Noem also shot her family’s goat the same day.
  • “She writes that the goat was nasty and mean, chased her kids and smelled rancid. So just like Cricket, she dragged the goat to the same gravel pit and shot him. But the goat survived the wound. So she went back to her truck, retrieved another shell, then hurried back to the gravel pit and put him down.” – Narrator [07:59]
• Pesca frames the media’s disproportionate outrage: the dog gets attention, the horse gets glory, but the goat is ignored.

3. The Ghost of Nibbles Interview (Satire)

• Pesca presents a tongue-in-cheek "interview" with Nibbles, the ghost of Noem’s goat, highlighting the absurdity of the goat’s neglect in the public discourse.
  • Nibbles on being unnamed: “When I was alive. They never gave me a name. I was always that goat. Where's the goat? Where's the smelly old goat? Let me ask you a question, Governor. How does a goat get rancid?” [08:40]
  • On the relative outcry for Cricket: “Right, now, there are several Rip Cricket Instagram pages... And what does Nibbles get? Nibbles gets a spot on a B list podcast.” [08:40]
  • Self-deprecation and commentary on the "GOAT" acronym: “You use our name to describe greatness? The GOAT is the greatest of all time... When a goat gets trolled, it really consumes us. But worse than trolled, we members, brave members of the goat community, we get ignored. We get overlooked.” [09:31]
  • Closing zinger: “Take your political aspirations to the gravel pit. I'll be here waiting in animal heaven. Cricket is here. The chickens Cricket ate, they're here... You’re not allowed in. And no yoga ever.” [10:56]

4. Lewandowski’s Political Maneuvers and Fallout

• Focus shifts to Corey Lewandowski, alleged power broker and former senior adviser at Homeland Security.
  • Pesca recounts “sidestepping” in and out of government via technicalities, including entering with someone else’s badge and listing himself in minutes as “the chief."
    • “He'd slide in with Kristi Noem, and in the minutes of official meetings, he would write the chief instead of Corey Lewandowski. Better, I guess, than Big Dog.” [12:29]
  • Notes on Lewandowski’s reputation for creating a "culture of fear," and “angling” for financial gain from GEO Group – both as examples of cacocracy (“rule by the worst people”).
    • “From the physical threats to the charges of sexual harassment, Lewandowski has gone in and out of power...Maneuvering past guardrails so sturdy they could almost be considered nonexistent.” [12:29]
  • The recent firings and power reshuffles are connected back to the culture fostered under Trump, tying in with excessive ad spending and the “magic shop” expense.

5. Political Satire: Magic Shops and “Secret Hands”

• Pesca lampoons the mysterious $500 spent at a magic shop—Magic Makers—joking about what kind of political tricks or "secret hands" might be acquired for such a sum.
  • “I searched this shop, Magic Makers, and I've narrowed it down between the phantom vanishing kit or the magic mystery pen, perhaps to sign Corey Lewandowski in and out of the department...so this means Noem qualified for 10 free secret hands, meaning she and Lewandowski can be sufficiently underhanded and have their hand out to vendors with more hands to spare.” [15:47]
• Notes the website’s “very naturalistic” commercial acting, pokes fun at the banality.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On goat neglect:
  “We goats, we always get the shit end of the stick. Not that we wouldn't eat that too, but it really gets my me.” – Nibbles [09:31]
• On virtue and political accountability:
  “Let us not allow the secret hand with purchase of a ball and tube mystery plus a crazy coin funnel distract us from that. Noem and Lewandowski will no doubt pick themselves up, become talk show hosts or employees in future Trump administrations. They are, if nothing else, resilient. You have got to hand, hand, hand, hand it to them.” – Mike Pesca [17:34]
• On Lewandowski’s tenure:
  “He was supposed to be a temporary adviser, able to work only, quote, for a period not to exceed 130 days. But he would sidestep with a scheme so clever it could almost be considered dumb...According to the New York Times expose today...he would write ‘the chief’ instead of Corey Lewandowski. Better, I guess, than Big Dog.” – Mike Pesca [12:29]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | | :--------: | --------------------------------------- | | 01:55 | Ad campaign cost explanation and horse focus | | 07:08 | Introduction to the “Kristi Noem Shot her Dog” segment | | 07:21 | Kristi Noem explains dog shooting | | 07:59 | Details on shooting the family goat | | 08:40 | “Interview” with Nibbles, the ghost goat | | 12:29 | Corey Lewandowski, DHS culture, and scandal | | 15:38 | Kristi Noem’s horse commercial excerpt | | 15:47 | Satire on magic shop purchases and “secret hands” |

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Tone & Style

Pesca’s approach this episode is both mocking and analytical, deploying satire to expose political spin and public absurdity. His willingness to scrutinize both right-wing and centrist figures is clear, and his humor is sharp, especially in the faux-interview with the maligned goat.

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Conclusion

This episode exemplifies The Gist’s formula: blend serious journalism with sharp, sometimes zany humor to probe political hypocrisy and media priorities. Whether dissecting ad spending or bringing a victimized goat "back from the dead," Pesca provokes deeper thought about how stories are told, what gets attention, and who gets left behind—animal, politician, or voter.

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Transcript

[Mike]

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[Mike]

Hi, it's Mike. It's Saturday. It's the Saturday show and on Saturday we bring you one from the vault and one from the week. And this week talked a little bit about Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski finally ousted the Lewandowski. We got to that one. I didn't concentrate but I mentioned that Kristi Noem cut a very expensive commercial with quite a pricey horse. Now the total price of that campaign was $200 million. I think I was reflecting a news item I read where it talked about this one specific commercial at 200,000. But yes, it was a fifth of a billion dollar campaign to put out into the world the fact that Kristi Noem looks great on a horse, which looks even better than Kristi Noem.

[Host/Interviewer]

The horse is stealing focus, Kristi.

[Mike]

Then I found in the annals of the gist. As you might know, Kristi Noem has a long and somewhat fraught history with animals. With animals that she doesn't rent but owns and therefore, I guess she says can dispose of how she sees fit. She thought it was great to mention the murder of her dog. Cricket got a lot of attention, but less attention. And I think this is pretty horrible if we are meant to be outraged at the death of an innocent animal. Cricket gets all the attention. The horse gets some attention just for earning his $20,000. You get that bag, you get that feed bag, buster. But there was a goat. And on the gist, a couple of years ago, I found the goat, the late goat. I interviewed the goat. And so I bring you the world exclusive interview posthumous interview with Nibbles Kristi Gnomes former goat I laughed listening to this. It turns out this is exactly my sense of humor somehow. Enjoy. This is the all Christy Gnome edition of the Saturday Show. This episode is brought to you by Pocket Hose, the world's number one expandable hose. I use pocket hose. It's kind of a miracle. Let me tell you about it. You know, regular hoses, they get kinks, they get creases. But the Copperheads pocket pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and the freedom to water with ease around your home, front yard, backyard, all the places where normal hoses might stop flowing. Pocket hose does not. Super light, ultra durable pocket hose. Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. So like I said, this is a hose. It's also a little bit of amazement because it's so compact and old hoses are really tough to store and don't look good and they sprawl everywhere and this thing is great. I saw the guy from Home Improvement, Richard Karn talking about it and I said intriguing. And then they sent me one and I was amazed. For a limited time, my listeners can get a free pocket Pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copper head hose. Just text just to 64,000. That's just to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase just to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. So winter job sites don't mess around. Freezing mornings, wet conditions, wind that cuts through your cheap gear. Yeah, I'm talking about gear you need workwear that performs when it's brutal. And true work is the gear that builds performance like it matters. Because guess what? It matters. Dickey's, Carhartt. The other brands, they focus on cotton based gear. But TrueWerk does it differently. It uses advanced performance fabrics that originally were developed for extreme outdoor conditions and they still work very well in exactly those conditions. Every piece is tested on real job sites and they're moisture wicking, wind resistant and insulated. They keep you comfortable and mobile all day. And oh yeah, they look good. I wear them for fashion and I wear them when I do work in my yard, front or back. And I do it when I do work. I'm not saying that I'm a long haul or ice road trucker, but we all put in a good hard day's work and we want that moisture to be wicked, do we not? Don't let cheap gear slow you down this winter. Upgrade your day with workwear built like it matters. Get 15% off your first order at true work.com with code the gist. That's true. W E R k.com with code the

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[Host/Interviewer]

And now the spiel in Kristi Noem Shot her dog News South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem shot her dog cricket that we all know. Today on Newsmax she explains why she took the brave steps she did.

[Kristi Noem]

It tells a lot of vulnerable stories of my life, of tough decisions that I've had to make over time. And I know that a lot of the liberals and even some Republicans and some Democrats are attacking me over a story that was in there. And literally, Eric, the whole decision was 20 years ago. It was choosing between the Safety of my little kids and the public and protecting them versus a dangerous animal that was killing livestock and attacking people.

[Host/Interviewer]

And so we salute your vulnerability, Governor. But there was another beast felled that day. And we got the inside details on Inside Edition.

[Narrator/Commentator]

The same day she shot Cricket, she also shot her family's pet goat. She writes that the goat was nasty and mean, chased her kids and smelled rancid. So just like Cricket, she dragged the goat to the same gravel pit and shot him. But the goat survived the wound. So she went back to her truck, retrieved another shell, then hurried back to the gravel pit and put him down.

[Host/Interviewer]

So why is no one talking about the goat? Well, joining us now in Kristi Gnomeshot, her dog news, a special guest. It is the ghost of Kristi Gnomes former goat, Nibbles. Take it away, Nibbles.

[Nibbles (Goat's Ghost)]

Ba boo ba. I'm a goat ghost. Pick a lane. I'm going with goat. I've got a funny joke about that. Man is in a church in Scotland. Oh, wait, I may have ruined the punchline. Anyway, I am Nibbles. I was when I was alive. They never gave me a name. I was always that goat. Where's the goat? Where's the smelly old goat? Let me ask you a question, Governor. How does a goat get rancid? Who's that on Cricket? He got a name. Right, now, there are several Rip Cricket Instagram pages. I'm sure people are going to be waving signs at every Christy Gnome rally till the end of time. Rip Cricket. And what does Nibbles get? Nibbles gets a spot on a B list podcast.

[Host/Interviewer]

No Nibbles.

[Nibbles (Goat's Ghost)]

I'm sorry. It's just that we goats, we always get the shit end of the stick. Not that we wouldn't eat that too, but it really gets my me. You use our name to describe greatness? The goat is the greatest of all time. But when you roast your goat, it means Kevin Hart makes a joke about a football player. When we get roasted, we're eaten and served with chutney sauce. Goats are mocked and trolled. And when a goat gets trolled, it really consumes us. But that's. Perhaps that's a bridge too far. But worse than trolled, we members, brave members of the goat community, we get ignored. We get overlooked. Oh, Cricket. Poor Cricket. Rip Cricket. Well, what about Nibbles? There's no Rip Nibbles. It's Shag Nibbles. What's Shag? It means shoot him. He's a goat. Yes, that's spelled. Not with two A's. But two H is still. It's pronounced shag in the goat accent. Sure you use us for your yoga. I hope it's relaxing to you, but to us, your backs are just the world's lumpiest promontories. I've stepped on more Becky and Craig's than Rocky Crags. It is humiliating and I gotta say, goats are known for eating anything. But I cannot believe what the Christy Gnome fans are being asked to swallow. Talk about rancid. It's enough to make a billy goat puke. Take it from someone who is actually sure footed. You stepped in it. I say take your political aspirations to the gravel pit. I'll be here waiting in animal heaven. Cricket is here. The chickens Cricket ate. They're here, sir. Feathers, Colonel Doodle Doo. They're all here. It's a great place. There's plenty of food. There is open air. Very important. You're not allowed in. And no yoga ever.

[Host/Interviewer]

That was Nibbles, the Ghost of Kristi Gnomes goat.

[Narrator/Commentator]

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[Mike]

And now the spiel Cacocracy is ruled by the worst people. And there's no greater cacock rat over the years of Trump's power than Corey Lewandowski. From the physical threats to the charges of sexual harassment, Lewandowski has gone in and out of power and in and out. Of Trump's favorite last landing at Homeland Security, he was supposed to be a temporary adviser, able to work only, quote, for a period not to exceed 130 days. But he would sidestep with a scheme so clever it could almost be considered dumb. Maneuvering past guardrails so sturdy they could almost be considered nonexistent. For instance, according to the New York Times expose today, people familiar with his activities said that he didn't use his badge to enter the building. He'd slide in with Kristi Noem, and in the minutes of official meetings, he would write the chief instead of Corey Lewandowski. Better, I guess, than Big Dog. Lewandowski also is not just having an alleged romantic relationship with the now ousted head of Homeland Security, Noem, but he was also perhaps benefiting financially from his role as unpaid senior adviser NBC reported that Lewandowski had asked for payments from Geo Group, a major contractor that runs private detention facilities. I'm going to conclude that the payments were not granted because further down in the article, the Times reports that Geo Group and Core Civic, you know, they're serious. There's no space between Core and Civic. They have long dominated the immigration detention market as vendors. They didn't get many contracts during Lewandowski's tenure. The whole tenure, not just the titular 130 days. The reporting indicates that Lewandowski was angling for less qualified companies who might pay him more on the back end. Who knows where he got the idea that that could work given the guardrails around swiping in when you enter the front door. Now, that seems to have all been rectified. Tom Homan, who is now running Homeland Security before Mark Wayne Mullen gets in, is a former employee of Geo Group. So thankfully, the immigration detention industrial complex has been reestablished. Other reporting in this Times article says that Lewandowski, according to department officials, created a culture of fear. Well, I got to say this was clearly the intention. DHS and ice, they wanted them to be feared throughout the country. And we all know that culture starts at home. And there was some further criticism of this kind, that he intimidated and punished officials in Washington. I have to say this does comport with the effect of his department in the field, which was an increase in aggressive, high profile detentions. I can't say just from the Trump administration's perspective, that that part of how he did the job came into conflict with how they wanted the job done. Now, speaking of the culture and the impressions that he gave, within the last couple days, there have been a number of documented reports about a TV commercial that Kristi Noem cut. She was riding a horse and it supposedly got her fired. Here are the first 10 seconds of that commercial.

[Kristi Noem]

Why do I love these wide open spaces? They remind me of why our forefathers came here. Not just for its beauty, but for the freedom only America provides.

[Mike]

You can, if you make it out, hear the horse going clippity clop in the background. According to documentation, Noem spent $20,000 to rent the horse. She is in fact riding two different horses in the commercial. From what I could see, they are pretty, pretty horses. Though I don't know that $20,000 is a fair price for a one or two day shoot. Noam also spent $3,781 on hair and makeup. And the money's all up there on the screen, as they say. She look rivaling the steeds. But there was another detail in the documentation of her excessive commercial that caught my eye. There is an unaccounted for $500 that Noem is said to have spent at a South Dakota magic shop. What is she buying at a magic shop? I searched this shop, Magic Makers, and I've narrowed it down between the phantom vanishing kit of the magic mystery pen, perhaps to sign Corey Lewandowski in and out of the department. Magic Makers will also give you, and this is right there prominent on their website, a free secret hand, a 2497 value with $49 in order. So this means Noem qualified for 10 free secret hands, meaning she and Lewandowski can be sufficiently underhanded and have their hand out to vendors with more hands to spare. Magic Makers is a pretty odd site. They have these little videos for most of their tricks and. And they are, let us say, not very well made. And the actors in the commercials, you know, seem like they should be in a South Dakota magic shop commercial. They're doing a great job, actually. Here's a very naturalistic scene from one. Hey, man, over here. We just talking about you. This the guy I was telling you about. He has mad magic skills.

[Narrator/Commentator]

Really?

[Nibbles (Goat's Ghost)]

Can you show me a trick?

[Mike]

That conversation happens all the time. I guess Lewandowski watched it and said, I am excellent at sleight of hand. So, one serious note about the attention paid to the commercial that got her fired and the $200,000 that she spent in the hair and the makeup and the horse. No, what got her fired was her lack of control over the department, which resulted in the shooting of two innocent Americans and the denial of reality thereafter. Let us not allow the secret hand with purchase of a ball and tube mystery plus a crazy coin funnel distract us from that. Noam and Lewandowski will no doubt pick themselves up, become talk show hosts or employees and future Trump administrations. They are, if nothing else, resilient. You have got to hand, hand, hand, hand it to them. That's it for today's show. Corey War is the producer. Jeff Craig runs our video. Ben Astaire is our booking coordinator. Kathleen Sykes runs our substack. And Michelle Pesca is the CBSO of Peach Fish Productions. Oomperu g Peru. Do Peru. And thanks for listening.

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