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- [00:00]
Robbie Hoffman
Foreign.
- [00:05]
Brian Greene
July 24, 2026 and from Beach Fish Productions, this is the Gist. I'm Brian Greene. On today's show, we go back to a bit of a sore spot for me personally, but I think a highlight for Funny youy should mention here, Mike sits down with comedian Robbie Hoffman. My co host and I are big fans of Robbie's. We asked her to come on our show, the commercial break and you could hear a pin drop. Still can hear the pin drop. No one has responded. The funny thing about Funny you should mention is that Mike and I would often have the same guest on within the same month. So it always did a number on my ego. When I would listen to Mike's interview of the same person we just interviewed, I could cry myself to sleep at night wondering how he got so much better at this than I did. It's probably why we're still waiting for Robby to call. Anyhoo, this episode was selected by Peach Fish Productions COO Michelle Pesca. Michelle says Robbie can say absolutely anything and make it funny. Which may have been a lovely compliment to Robby, but mildly devastating to Mike, who had until then been under the impression that he did a damn good job at this interview and that he was the funniest person in his wife's eyes. Since this conversation first aired, Robbie has released a new Netflix special entitled Waking up and appears in the final season of the award winning and very good Funny Enough. Two weeks from now, the Gist will bring you a brand new episode of Funny you should mention with three time guest on the commercial break, Des Bishop, someone who did agree to come on the show, but since being on Mike's show does not return my phone calls, there's a pattern emerging, kids. A pattern emerging. Robbie Hoffman is the guest. Mike Pesca is the interviewer. Funny youy Should Mention is the podcast. And it's up next here on the Gist.
- [01:57]
Cory Wara
So I collect, or did collect comic books and I was trying to sell them and it was dispiriting because sometimes I had, in some cases I held on to them for decades or I bought them in the late 90s and saw their price go up. But then when I take them to a store, you know, I understand they have rent to pay. I thought they'd pay a quarter of what maybe a comic book of such vintage and good condition was listed. But this is not true. This is why whatnot is really helpful. First of all, they're a community and I've just been looking at some of their videos about caviar. The fish videos. You could buy a whole bunch of fish and crab on whatnot. But forget buying. Just wade in and see what they're selling. Whether businesses are big or small or don't even exist, people selling on whatnot sell 10 times more than other major marketplaces. Because it doesn't really always feel like a marketplace, it feels like a show. And the people who are doing the selling, sometimes there's another, there's another version of this where people talk about all the clothes they got in a storage locker and they'll just go through a bag of clothes. Look at these pants, look at these shoes. There's a lot of just really off the wall, unexpected joy there. Across whatnot, the number of sellers making over $1 million a year has doubled. Search whatnot W h a t N o t in the App Store download and you could start selling right away. Today's executives are more threatened and more exposed and more vulnerable than ever before. Corporations spend billions on workplace security. But what happens when a threat finds your executives outside the office? Here's why this matters. 70% of attacks on executives happen at home or away from the office, and Ironwall understands this terrifying reality. If someone has a grievance against your company, the first place they turn is Google. It takes about five minutes to find one of your executives home addresses online. And if their personal information is sitting on the open web, they're a lot easier to find. You are leaving them unprotected. So the team at Ironwall knows this and they protected some of the most targeted executives and individuals on the planet for almost two decades. As a white glove enterprise security service, they protect your people with continuous personal data removal, proactive prevention tools and emergency support. So when someone goes looking for your executives iron wall insurers, they hit a dead end. Here's what to do. Go to ironwall.com gist Fill out the quick form and request your free risk assessment. Their team will show you just how exposed your executives are and how to lock it down before a threat reaches their front door. That's Ironwall.com gist stop online threats before they become real world attacks. The link is in the show Notes did you know that when helping older Navy dolphins, a researcher unlocked a secret to healthy aging for all of us, even the non dolphins among us. And you know everyone loves dolphins and I hope I can convince you to love yourself just like our flippered friends. You're worth it. I'm excited to share with you guys. C15 from fatty 15 the first emerging essential fatty acid to be discovered in more than 90 years. It's an incredible scientific breakthrough. It supports long term health and wellness and healthy aging. So the founder of Fatty 15, Dr. Stephanie Van Watson, discovered the benefits of C15 while working with the US Navy to continually improve the health and welfare of older dolphins. She went to the dolphin Retirement home and she noticed some of them were really thriving. What do they have? It's what is now called C15. She did studies on cellular fragility syndrome caused by the lack of C15. As many as one in three people, I can't give you the dolphin percentage worldwide may have C15 levels and fragile cells. We're all aging, which means that healthy aging starts from birth. Studies have shown that C15 is a foundational nutrient for you and for flipper. I'm taking fatty 15. They give it to you in a nice glass vial. I pop one every day and I have to say I feel a little bit more energy and I've been very successful at disabling bombs with my nose underwater. Now I joke about that, but I do feel a little Vim. Fatty 15 was developed to support healthy aging for all, from kids to parents to grandparents. That's why award winning fatty 15 is now available as pure capsules, Delicious Apple Mint gummies for teens and adults, and Yummy Berry Blast gummies for kids. Fatty 15 is on a mission to support healthy aging for all, including all ages and stages of life. You can get an additional 15% off their 90 day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com gist and using code Gist at checkout.
- [07:16]
Brian Greene
Hi.
- [07:16]
Cory Wara
It's funny you should mention a what do we say? A Gist and comedy seller co production. And I'm here with Robbie Hoffman, who is. Who has an amazing life story which ends here with the Funny youy Should Mention episode. I'm not saying that we will kill her at the end of the episode, but this is the culmination of all she's been through. She has. She's a fascinating podcaster. The way she tells a joke is like any other. And she looks at the world. Well, I should probably say unlike any other. And she looks at the world in different ways. And I want to get into why and what we do on the show. Hey, Robbie, by the way, thanks for coming on.
- [07:49]
Robbie Hoffman
Thanks for having me.
- [07:50]
Cory Wara
What we do on the show is I like to think of jokes as like premises and arguments about the universe. I mean, there's a way a lot of comedians look at jokes too. So we talk about it. And so, for instance, I'LL start with this. I think a lot of your humor, you tell me if you agree, is pointing out or you being annoyed at the elevation of very boring or non exceptional people or statements into something that we're supposed to make a big deal about. And your job is to point this out and say, this is not exceptional at all.
- [08:19]
Robbie Hoffman
It's one facet of a million things that I do. And yes, that's become an epidemic in this country. Interesting. People are few and far between. And that's it. Not everybody can talk, not everybody can act. Not everybody. And we're seeing that. We're seeing the survival of the fittest, especially in a talk medium, something like podcasts. I think why my podcast has resonated and we are the too far podcast is Patreon only. I have been demonetized on every platform we're on Patreon and doing well is because I take talk as seriously as I take any other craft that I do. I take talk as serious as I take stand up my writing. I'm in two big television shows coming out. I took those very seriously. I don't just think I can do anything. I wouldn't go to space. I have no interest. I know there's experts who do space.
- [09:22]
Cory Wara
Yes.
- [09:24]
Robbie Hoffman
And it's the reason I think we're seeing it fundamentally play out in at least entertainment culture where late night shows are empty. Late night shows, I mean, there's just. It's archaic because we have talk show hosts who do not know how to talk. And it seems basic to say you should have a talk show host who knows how to talk. But of course, we have people reading off prompters. If the prompter goes down, they're way out. And I think the medium of podcasting has blown up because the talkers have finally a place where we'll see if you can talk.
- [10:04]
Cory Wara
Yes, the talk. The revenge of the talkers. But now with Instagram, it's the lookers too. It helps.
- [10:11]
Robbie Hoffman
Well, I happen to be a cutie.
- [10:12]
Cory Wara
Yes, Wes.
- [10:13]
Robbie Hoffman
So you know what? I am a cutie in my own way. I am a cutie in my own way. We weren't sure how I would get through it, but there is a market for me out there now, which is very nice for me. For Hashem. Yeah.
- [10:25]
Cory Wara
When you say you take talking as seriously as anything else, do you mean you. When you're going on a show and if you know of the topic, most of the shows you go on, I think are improvised or just they talk about what comes up. But you think about it beforehand, you think about, maybe this is a good word order. This isn't. I'm going to be interesting. You plan it out.
- [10:42]
Robbie Hoffman
Like when I'm doing standup.
- [10:44]
Cory Wara
No, no, no. You say you take talking.
- [10:45]
Robbie Hoffman
It's seriously. I just talk a lot and I practice it a lot. I do one or two podcasts a week. I'm certainly on the talk circuit. I take a dinner party seriously. I mean, there was a time in old books that I've read and I stopped reading in 2004, but when I used to read, you know, it was important to people how they sat people at a dinner party, right? This so and so would get along with so and so. I'm the same way now. You know, if somebody's at a dinner party and their story is not moving, I'm going to move it along. We're here for a finite amount of time. I cannot waste time. I mean, I realized this early that people were not good at stories. And some were good at stories. I had this friend in university who got into class and she came in and a half like as if she had this like huge story. And she was like, I went to fill the meter for the car and there was already a quarter in there. That was the story.
- [11:44]
Cory Wara
That was it.
- [11:46]
Robbie Hoffman
I go, I remember snapping. I go, that's not a story. Absolutely nothing has happened to you. You get into class, you sit down, you shut up. Who hasn't gone to a meter and there's already five minutes. Like there wasn't. It was so the delusion.
- [12:06]
Cory Wara
Yes. Now, do you think that that's not a story? Because just inherently not a story and shut up about it? Or could you, as a good talker, if that was bothering you, would you gussy it up? Would you make it into a story? Would you use your skin? No.
- [12:19]
Robbie Hoffman
You just know there's nothing to guys, it's not a story. It's not a story. Sometimes I think of something. I'm so thrilled that I get to work in so many different mediums. I write television and I do stand up and I talk. And sometimes I have a thing and it's just a tweet. Sometimes I have a thing, it's a stand up bit. Sometimes I have a thing, it's a feature. Sometimes I have a thing, it's a script. A thing is a thing. You don't have to have everything. You know, for me, I think it comes off when you said like, oh, I point out to me also, this is how I enjoy. For me, to complain is to enjoy of Course, if I'm not complaining, something is awry, right? Something has. I could be on, you know, Jeff Bezos yacht and find it too shaky. I mean, it's like I would have. That's how I enjoy things. Is. It could be perfect, but I'll see a crack and it's what, you know, that's just how I enjoy it. Means everything I didn't mention is fine. Yeah, Everything I didn't mention is actually great.
- [13:13]
Cory Wara
This is a process of elimination.
- [13:15]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. So people are surprised to find how positive I am IRL in my life because they think, well, this is. I said, but everything I didn't mention is fantastic.
- [13:25]
Cory Wara
That's right. Do you know how often you're not talking? It's actually most of the time taking into account sleep and just letting the other person talk. So take that as your endorsement. Robbie Hoffman endorses you by shutting up about your flaws.
- [13:39]
Robbie Hoffman
That's it. I barely talk. When you take into account the time. I'm sleeping. You're totally right. I'm what they call shy.
- [13:47]
Cory Wara
Are you a shy sleeper?
- [13:49]
Robbie Hoffman
No, I. Thank God, sleep good. That's why I'm somebody who's on time and that sort of thing, you know? Something I revere about comedians. I love a lot of different comedy. I think when I started this, I might not have known, but now I like anybody who does it, you know, especially people who can do it well. But I like people who do it way differently than me. You know, people give Pete Davidson, somebody like that a very hard time. I find him just a delight. Is he doing much? No. Is it a joy of an hour? It is. I'm more on the Taylor Swift side of things, where I work and do and try a lot. I'm putting out a lot. I'm always trying. I'm always doing a lot. And that really works for me. But I like the guys like Pete who do, don't do. It's both styles can work, right? And I like kind of. I don't know, I can appreciate something that's very different than me, but they're doing that good.
- [14:42]
Cory Wara
So in your recent act that I saw a few days ago, when you criticize Taylor Swift's 30 songs, none of them as bangers.
- [14:50]
Robbie Hoffman
No.
- [14:50]
Cory Wara
Is there a self critique in there?
- [14:53]
Robbie Hoffman
No, because I love Taylor and there's nothing self. There's nothing deeper. I'm always. I always wonder, like, sometimes, maybe not even poetry, but sometimes a dead author or something, they're like, what did he mean by this? Like, we don't know. Maybe he just meant what the fuck he meant. Yeah, I said what I said. Often I said what I said. And I clarify anything I said. I'm not pithy. I will go into a long reason of why I think I. You know what I mean? So there shouldn't be any. Oh, is this. If I'm talking about me, I will talk about me. You know, But Taylor, we're just such big fans of. And I think it's more of a commentary that, you know, kind of a more. A less obvious take on the fact that, you know, her music is better when she's going through heartbreak.
- [15:45]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [15:46]
Robbie Hoffman
Rather than when she's in love with, you know, an NFL ballplayer. So. So to me, it was kind of not the obvious take on it. It just. The music speaks for itself. And the music's bad. Her personal life is going well.
- [15:58]
Cory Wara
What about you? You're in love. You talk about your girlfriend a lot. She talks about you on her show.
- [16:03]
Robbie Hoffman
You're addicted to the vape. No, I know, but I just bought Alan Carr's book, How to Quit Vaping. I know, but is it working? You have full blown. I haven't read the book. And you're still hitting the. No, wait, I haven't read the book yet, babe. What about your laryngitis?
- [16:16]
Cory Wara
You don't.
- [16:17]
Robbie Hoffman
You don't need a book to tell you the book. What is your vocal cord? Step one, order the book. Am I going to have to get you Alan Cars, how to how to Quit the gin? No, I don't want to quit. I'm full blown. She started yesterday. I don't, I don't have. I don't have an addictive personality. I can quit whenever I want. You're addicted to me. It's very hard for me to enjoy the good. I think I do very well in a disaster. So that's why it was like Covid happened. I sold a show. Everybody was like, you know, Trump. People are freaking about. Freaking out about Trump. It's disastrous times. I tend to do very well in disastrous times.
- [16:55]
Cory Wara
You think you get calmer, you get calmer, or the rest of the world falls apart and you just stay the same as you were as your baseline.
- [17:03]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't know. I think that I'm just wired to do well in depression era times. I think the way that I grew up juxtaposed with society on the outside of something more religious was just. And just growing up so poor that I'm, like, prepared for that. Like, I think deep down I'm like, always looking At a room. Like, I would make this the nicest apartment alive. Like, if this was my whole life, it would be just, like, sensational because I am so used to that. So when I have more and stuff, when things are going well, I do. I'm a little shakier when things are doing well.
- [17:50]
Cory Wara
Yeah. They say a lot of Jews, a lot of people who live through the Holocaust, a lot of people who live through trauma, a lot of people live through the Depression are like that. Like, that's their comfort zone. And they go to many psychiatrists to try to point that out and unpack.
- [18:03]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, no, I try. And, like, I'm trying to get used to the good times, but for as many years as I. You know, I think if your childhood is so. It's gonna take me double as long, I have to really be in good times for a long time because it's not as potent.
- [18:20]
Cory Wara
So you had nine brothers and sisters, and you first born in Crown Heights, just a couple blocks from where I live now. Then you. Then you. Yes. Then you moved to Montreal. You're very poor, and your parents split up, and your mother was trying to raise 10 kids on just welfare.
- [18:36]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, yeah.
- [18:37]
Cory Wara
Trying to get to the dentist early and doing whatever she could to mitigate her circumstances. But some of that, obviously. Well, it all created who you were. But some of that is great fodder. And even though it was hard, you probably look back and say, not just the cliche of, oh, it made me who I am, but this exact skill that is very marketable and is core to my appeal to thousands of people. It's all because of these horrible things that happened to me.
- [19:05]
Robbie Hoffman
I mean, it can be. I know. So I have some very wealthy friends, I mean, who are able to speak from within that and speak to their own stuff. You know, Jerry Seinfeld grew up, okay, And I. You know, he's one of the best. I don't think there's ever rules.
- [19:21]
Cory Wara
Yes, you're right.
- [19:22]
Robbie Hoffman
I think it's how you play your deck. I don't. I am hesitant about rules, about growing up or whatever. Can you be good? Can you not? You know, there's a million Nepo babies now who, you know, they're fine. They're good. Like, what do you want? You know, I. You know, I mean, there's obviously Nepo babies that, you know, are not. You know, there's. You know, Jaden Smith is the son of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. I mean, he's best friends himself. Jaden Smith with Justin Bieber. One of the greatest pop artists of my generation. His parents are the most connected. He's been making music, jaden Smith for 10 years, best friends with Bieber. His parents are the Smiths, friends with everyone and he doesn't have a single hit. I mean you're making music for 10 years every and there's not a single hit. Justin Bieber is sharing his music. I mean that is unbelievable. So there's people like that, his engineers,
- [20:25]
Cory Wara
his know how stand in front of my studio, I'll tell you everything. I know. Jaden can't do it right.
- [20:31]
Robbie Hoffman
And then there's, there's other people who do very well with famous parents. So I don't think there's ever there's a rule necessarily how you play your cards. I think it's tougher and tougher to play unfair decks. I think poverty sucks and I wish I didn't have to be talented and I wish I didn't have to be so unique and talented. I have siblings who are good hard working people and you know, and they don't want to be public. They're private people and I think they're entitled to a life of dignity. And I think that, you know, one of the only ways to get out if you're poor is like because I had a friend tell me this, he grew up very wealthy. We know him, he's a comedian here. Very wealthy, father's on a Harvard whatever. And he said, well you're here. Yeah, we took a walk. And he's like, so you got out like as if nothing. And I'm like, but I shouldn't have to be special. You didn't have to be special. You have two brothers who suck and they're fine. Did you have a house and the whole thing? You know, it's like, why do you have to be special if you're poor to make it?
- [21:38]
Cory Wara
And we'll be back with more of Robbie Hoffman right after this. One thing I love about summer is how easily everything feels when it's not burning. If you get a summer day, maybe in the low 80s and you're feeling relaxed and the days are, are more relaxed, then you want some comfortable thing to wear. Go anything piece that is relaxed. And that's why I keep coming back to quints. They focus on well made essentials that are naturally like an everyday staple that you live in all season long and everything. Quints is priced 80% less than similar brands that work directly with ethical factories. I love their T shirts as well. The quint piece that's changed How I get dressed this summer is linen shorts. Never thought I was a linen short guy. But as I wear quints, I don't think about the ethical factories. I don't think about cutting out the middleman. I think about how good they feel, how good they look. It's not just clothing. Quint has become a trusted favorite for everything from home to travel to everyday essentials. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com the gist for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com the gist for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com the gist we're back with Robbie Hoffman of Hacks and so many other things are your nine brothers and sisters. I'm sure nine of them, nine different stories. But have they achieved some level of success? Middle class?
- [23:25]
Robbie Hoffman
No, no, no, no, no. My family, Nobody is hungrier than the Hoffmans. My family has done very well. There's certain members of my family who want simpler lives. And I actually, you know, they live in Canada still and it makes me happy knowing they live in Canada because they can work a 40 hour week, have the dignity of an apartment, maybe have a pet, have a bus pass. And here I just don't think that's achievable.
- [23:55]
Cory Wara
Do you think Canada is better for most people, but the United States is better for you?
- [24:01]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. I mean, In Entertainment, the U.S. you know, is king.
- [24:05]
Cory Wara
But even, I mean, this is what many successful Canadians point out. There's a limit. There is not even just a cultural limit because of the tax code. They don't want to make superstars. And the United States is for, oh,
- [24:16]
Robbie Hoffman
oh, it's boom or bust.
- [24:17]
Cory Wara
Yeah. There's no.
- [24:18]
Robbie Hoffman
Of course, of course. This is the entertainment industry. You go, you know, if I worked, you know, in finance, I'd be on Wall Street. So I totally get that. But it is, you know, I think back to your original point. I think it depends, you know, the cards you play. There are certain hands that are easier to play and that even if you don't play them and you fold, you're still in a nice house.
- [24:39]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [24:40]
Robbie Hoffman
You know, with cards like mine, you have to play them. You have. No, we can't fold. I mean, I had to play whatever 2 and 4 I had. I'm taking the subway with my 2 and 4 and seeing what the fuck I can do.
- [24:54]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [24:55]
Robbie Hoffman
So, you know, I don't know.
- [24:58]
Cory Wara
So of the things that mark you as an outsider, which is great for comedy because you observe the mainstream. You have, you're lesbian, you're poor, you grew up in not just Jewish but Chabad, which is very ultra orthodox religious community. And then you have the Canadianness, which I don't wanna, I don't wann want to downplay. I mean, so many comics come from Canada and they say, well, we're American enough to get your culture, but outside of it, enough to comment on it. So probably all of those things.
- [25:29]
Robbie Hoffman
I've always been on the outside, like
- [25:31]
Cory Wara
when I'm in so many ways. Right.
- [25:33]
Robbie Hoffman
When I was living in Montreal, I obviously came off very American. You know, in Canada I was known as from New York. I'm an American. You know, my mother moved 10 of the Jewish Jews alive to Canada. I mean, we stuck out, you know, I mean, I have brothers in Regina, Saskatchewan. I mean there's not a single Jew, let alone Shmuley, you know, in Regina, Saskatchewan. Which by the way, they could pronounce. Regina is the same spelling, but they go out of their way. They go out of their way to pronounce it Regina. Same spelling, Same spelling. Easy fix. Yeah. Will not do it.
- [26:14]
Cory Wara
So they could rename it Moose Jaw. They don't. I mean there are a lot of choices.
- [26:18]
Robbie Hoffman
There's already a Moose Jaw.
- [26:20]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [26:21]
Robbie Hoffman
So it just, it boggles the mind. But I think that. And then when I'm here, people remember I'm Canadian. So it's always, you know, I've always been sitting kind of on a binary of two things. Yeah.
- [26:39]
Cory Wara
When you say so one of the things you say that always gets a laugh from my wife is just demarcating currency in USD. This costs 24 USD.
- [26:48]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
- [26:49]
Cory Wara
And to us it's funny because we don't expect it, but to a Canadian, everything will either be in USD.
- [26:54]
Robbie Hoffman
USD is like. Yeah, it's a trauma when things are in USD. It's just like 12 USD could be 65 Canadian. Like you never know what the exchange is. Like it's going to be bad. But I do remember it's always going to be bad.
- [27:11]
Cory Wara
It's never going to work out in the Canadian sphere.
- [27:12]
Robbie Hoffman
But now I go to Canada and it's like going to Mexico for me. I'm like buying this, I'm buying that. But my father, we have an estranged relationship. But when I was a kid and we moved to Canada when he had the money, occasionally I remember a couple birthdays, I got 100 USD.
- [27:30]
Cory Wara
USD in one bill.
- [27:32]
Robbie Hoffman
One bill. Wow. I mean, it just there's nothing like a hundo. Yeah, there's just nothing like a hundo. You know what? Gabby laughs Because I like to keep actually the seller here. When she puts me on, she's mad. I live in LA and I get two, three. I mean, it's crazy because I do so well here, you know this. But when she gives me a hundred, yeah, I like to keep it in my wallet. I like to have 100 in my wallet. There's something like. Again, it's that depression mentality. If this all goes, I have cash on me.
- [28:09]
Cory Wara
Like, at least you're not sewing it into your jeans or something.
- [28:12]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, no, literally, it should be my jeans brand. Should be 100. But yet there's certain things that just. You can't beat. A crisp hundred is just chef's kiss. They just nailed it with the US$100
- [28:28]
Cory Wara
bill and Ben Franklin. Very uncontroversial. Like, probably the best or funnest of the founding fathers.
- [28:33]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't even know who's on it.
- [28:35]
Cory Wara
Every single time.
- [28:38]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't know who's on it even. I just. I would have a little lockbox. I had a master lock box, not a piggy bank, you know, and with a key. Put the hundo under my bed. Nobody knows what I'm sitting on. It was excellent.
- [28:55]
Cory Wara
When you had it in Canada, would you go out and spend it and would they.
- [28:57]
Robbie Hoffman
You would get 150 Canadian for it. About. So I would wait for something that I wanted. And I don't know, it was just very depressing when I spent it. I just liked having it.
- [29:14]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [29:15]
Robbie Hoffman
My favorite thing about money is just having it.
- [29:17]
Cory Wara
Yeah. So spending it. Does it make you a little depressed?
- [29:22]
Robbie Hoffman
If I have enough of it, yeah. I also like to spend, but I'm particular. I don't buy a lot. I buy specific, and I trade up a lot. You know, my first car, I bought for 3,600, and then I sold it for six. Then I took that six. I bought an old Porsche, 21,000, took the six off. I got it for, you know, like 15,000. No car payment. Still driving it. It's amazing. It's a Porsche that nobody would want. Base model came in Porsche. People are like, you know when they get.
- [30:03]
Cory Wara
And I don't care because it's a Porsche.
- [30:06]
Robbie Hoffman
Porsche is a Porsche.
- [30:07]
Brian Greene
Porsche.
- [30:08]
Robbie Hoffman
I got it for $3. I have no car payment.
- [30:11]
Cory Wara
How do you. I thought the whole thing about. You drive off the lot, it loses half its value. How do you turn a $3,600 car?
- [30:18]
Robbie Hoffman
No, because I buy. I buy used. Yeah, yeah. So no Porsche. Porsche, Porsche can appreciate.
- [30:24]
Cory Wara
Well, I'm talking about the first one it goes from.
- [30:26]
Robbie Hoffman
The first one became vintage. It was a 1983 Toyota Corolla.
- [30:29]
Cory Wara
You buy it with that in mind.
- [30:31]
Robbie Hoffman
It turned 30 years old.
- [30:33]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [30:33]
Robbie Hoffman
And I had a buyer for 9,000 who fell off, and then I just took the second one, 6000, because I got it for 3600, but it became vintage in the time that I owned it. So it was a car show show officially. So that's how it appreciated because you just can't find it.
- [30:50]
Cory Wara
Are you a car person or do you.
- [30:52]
Robbie Hoffman
I've become a car person by. By de facto. At first only being able to afford an old car, then enjoying the tinkering lifestyle of having old things. And, you know, I feel like people are young at heart. I've always been old at heart.
- [31:11]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [31:11]
Robbie Hoffman
Like a trans person. They get all their surgeries.
- [31:14]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [31:15]
Robbie Hoffman
Like, you know, they get their bottom surgery, their top surgery. They look in the mirror after all this expended effort and money and surgery, and finally their body matches who they are inside. I feel like I'm going to turn 73, I'm going to catch myself in the mirror, and finally my body will match who I've been inside. My program will be on in the other room.
- [31:38]
Cory Wara
You know you're not transgender. You're trans ageist.
- [31:41]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, yeah, a little bit.
- [31:42]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [31:43]
Robbie Hoffman
So the old cars actually worked for me.
- [31:45]
Cory Wara
But then you also have a joke in the show where someone asks you, are you transgender? And so the first joke is like, people just are asking this, but then I think you come down a little hard on yourself. In contrast with your observation a few minutes earlier, which you gave to me today, you're a cutie. So which is.
- [32:02]
Robbie Hoffman
I am a cutie.
- [32:03]
Cory Wara
Is there something weird or are you.
- [32:04]
Robbie Hoffman
It's weird and it's a cutie. Is the weird weird hot? Weird hot is in.
- [32:08]
Cory Wara
Okay.
- [32:09]
Robbie Hoffman
Weird hot has always been a version
- [32:11]
Cory Wara
of what, the rat guy? You don't know?
- [32:13]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't know. I don't know who the rat guy is, but weird hot has always been in. I was with a couple comedians. We were at like a comedy festival, and we ended up hanging out in one of my friends hotel rooms, a bunch of the girl comics. And we were all just like, kikiing, having a good time, and one of my friends said she slept with an old fat guy. She's smoke show. Both of these girls were just so hot. She was like. And she was like, yeah, she's been sleeping with this old fat guy and it's been really hot. And the other friend goes, I want to sleep with an old fat guy. Like, it's just sometimes if you're in a mood for weird hot, you're in a mood for weird hotels. I think I hit that. I'm not an old fat guy.
- [33:03]
Cory Wara
Right.
- [33:04]
Robbie Hoffman
But I hit something for some girls that is, you know.
- [33:10]
Cory Wara
And do you think that's always been. Or, like, did you luck into, I don't know, changing the zeitgeist or taste or something like that?
- [33:17]
Robbie Hoffman
I've. I've. Listen, you know, I equated it. Listen, I got no dick, right? So I'm good at talking. I can text, you know, it's kind of like your senses. Like somebody who can't see. Smells very good. Right, right, right. My sense is I've been. Yeah, I've been okay with. In that department. Thank God.
- [33:37]
Cory Wara
Although. And this leads me to something I wanted to ask. I was listening to your girlfriend's show and she was talking about. And I had to look up what this was that you have acquired a packer.
- [33:48]
Robbie Hoffman
Mm.
- [33:49]
Cory Wara
Did you know she talked about this?
- [33:51]
Robbie Hoffman
No idea. Okay, right now.
- [33:53]
Cory Wara
So here we go.
- [33:54]
Robbie Hoffman
So I'm learning right now.
- [33:55]
Cory Wara
Right. So a packer is a little mini appendage. And she talks about when she goes out to the club, she likes to grind against you. Okay. I have no packer specific questions, unless you wanna fill me in.
- [34:06]
Robbie Hoffman
Okay.
- [34:06]
Cory Wara
My question is more about lines. And do you each. Since you do comedy and she's out there doing podcasts, do you have to check in with each other afterwards or do you have any. You don't care.
- [34:17]
Robbie Hoffman
We don't care.
- [34:18]
Cory Wara
Did she say anything on her show that would piss you off?
- [34:21]
Robbie Hoffman
No.
- [34:21]
Cory Wara
No.
- [34:22]
Robbie Hoffman
And if it did, I would tell her. Who cares? Yeah, I mean, it's okay to be pissed off. I also think, like, it's okay, you know, people are. I think we're moving past this. But this idea of people being offended and whatever, I don't think being offended is that bad. I think, like, I don't know anyone who expects to live a life not being offended, you know?
- [34:41]
Cory Wara
Right.
- [34:41]
Robbie Hoffman
I just don't think being offended or pissed off is that bad. You're not in Gaza. Calm down. Like what?
- [34:45]
Cory Wara
Like it's not and their problem is an offense.
- [34:48]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, it's just like there's so many, like, I accept life with a full rainbow of life that I'm, you know, happy and sad and excited and nervous and sometimes pissed off. And sometimes elated. I think you need the entire stew. So I don't think. Let's say she pissed me off. Okay.
- [35:14]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [35:15]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't. Nothing is. I'm not expecting not to ever be pissed off.
- [35:19]
Cory Wara
So this actually fits in with what we were talking about earlier. Conversation and people being as you're talking about packing.
- [35:26]
Robbie Hoffman
All I see is unpacking in that unpacking profile.
- [35:31]
Cory Wara
Oh, yeah. The word unpacking.
- [35:34]
Robbie Hoffman
I should just take my packer out.
- [35:36]
Cory Wara
You could do packing videos. Right. An unpacking video. That would probably sell pretty well. That could be for Patreon subscribers. Yeah. Yeah. So early on, we were talking about how just people are boring and they don't bring any conversational skill or think they need to. And I was thinking about this and so the etymology.
- [35:56]
Robbie Hoffman
And by the way, I love boring people. This is the thing. I don't hate anyone. I just. Whoever you are, be you.
- [36:03]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [36:03]
Robbie Hoffman
I just like people when they're people. I don't think I don't have a definition of boring, except for somebody trying to be who they're not, trying to who they're not. Something. There's a dissonance, and that's where the bore comes in.
- [36:16]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [36:16]
Robbie Hoffman
I think I love boring. Or what people would consider boring people. I don't even know that. It's just. It's awkward. Yeah. Even though I complain about all these things again, I also love everything simultaneously. I hate and love equally.
- [36:34]
Cory Wara
I probably mischaracterized what you said. You didn't. You don't talk about boring people. You talk about our national or international personality deficit.
- [36:43]
Robbie Hoffman
There's a. There's a. Yeah. There's a bad personality disorder.
- [36:49]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [36:50]
Robbie Hoffman
That's taken over the country. And a lot of people have bad personalities. But we don't talk about it. I think it's actually symptomatic. These foodies. It's symptomatic of a larger issue going on in this country that nobody is talking about. Nobody is talking about it. Millions of people being affected. Millions of people being untreated, undiagnosed. But zero personality disorder has become an epidemic in this country. It's the reason we have white people rock climbing. And white people slacklining in the park. Balancing on a string between two trees, 33 years old. Have you seen this? But it's sad, the suffering. And my heart goes out. It really does. It really does. What we've started doing with personalities is attributing to all the people with interesting personalities. They now have add, adhd, neuroad. They have all these things, right. When it's just. We forgot that people have various personalities. I don't know where the word personality went, but it went away. It was replaced by neurodivergent type of diagnoses and, you know, regular people who, you know, we just. We stop. We forgot that some people have bad personalities.
- [38:30]
Cory Wara
Yeah. Because when we talk about personality, when someone with expertise talks about personality, the word that always comes next is disorder. Right.
- [38:37]
Robbie Hoffman
I know.
- [38:38]
Cory Wara
Like, here, what's wrong with your personality? No one just celebrates, well, this guy's got a good personality.
- [38:43]
Robbie Hoffman
I know some people have just a great person. Some have a bad. I'm like, bad, like people who. And it's funny because people go, don't I always. You know, my joke about the personality was like, you know, that's why we have white people rock climbing or white people slacklining in the park, you know, because slackline, you know, because bad personality disorder has become fucking ground. Yeah. You know, but the truth is, I rock climb, so people are mad that I rock climb. And I'm like, I'm joking. Like, it's always amazing when people think that, like, I'm the news that, like, that we should be like, we are. We have any factual basis for anything we say. It's like, the news isn't even real anymore yet. You want me to be real. The news is not fact checked. I'm fact checked. Like, it's just like, people hate when they're like, don't you rock climb? I'm like, yeah, I love it. And they're like, but you just. I said, yeah, I'm joking. Everybody here but me has a personality. Obviously that's not true, but do you lead with them?
- [39:47]
Cory Wara
Will you tell people rock climbing stories if they weren't interested beforehand? You know, not to do that. I found out.
- [39:54]
Robbie Hoffman
I've never done that.
- [39:55]
Cory Wara
Right. I know that you. I didn't know that you rock climb, even though I've heard you on dozens of podcasts. Because you understand what it means to be.
- [40:02]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, no, I don't need to hear about somebody's workout, per se.
- [40:05]
Cory Wara
Yes.
- [40:05]
Robbie Hoffman
That said, I've started working out. I mean, I don't mind telling somebody that, but. No, I just. This all comes very natural to me.
- [40:15]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [40:16]
Robbie Hoffman
These are not thought like, this is not. I'm not thinking about. I remember when I was straight, I would go out with a guy, like, and I would remember being so nervous with my friends before. Like, what am I going to talk to this guy about? Like, suddenly with my friends, we were all Funny and all, but I would get alone with a guy, maybe 16 years old, 15, 14, I don't know. And I would write topics like, I can talk about this. Like, because I literally was so nervous to be with a guy alone because I had no interest like that I would have to think of things to talk about because I was so bored out of my goddamn mind that I'm like, how am I gonna sit with this guy for two hours? So I would immediately try to get the hand job as soon as possible
- [41:07]
Cory Wara
just so as not to cover up all conversational.
- [41:10]
Robbie Hoffman
I have nothing to say to this boy. Like, I have Nothing.
- [41:14]
Cory Wara
Are these 16 year old yeshiva kids from Montana?
- [41:17]
Robbie Hoffman
They're not yeshiva, but they're like, you know, nerd, whatever, nice boys. And I'm just like, take your pants off and you know, I'm gonna hand rape you now. And basically, you know, they can't say no, no, they were, they were hard as, you know, it's two minutes. And then I would, it would cut the time because after that I'm going home. I don't want to be here with you sitting in that disgusting mess. But these guys, these kids were always kind of in love and it was, yeah, they were always very in love. And I used to think I was so mean to love interests because I would be like, why are you crying at my locker? Like, I'm like, this guy, I'm like, no, do not talk to me at school. I have no interest, okay? And then with girls, I'm like the kindest, most romantic. Like I realized these poor guys that were in love, it's like a. Guys have a sick thing where they want somebody who doesn't want them.
- [42:16]
Cory Wara
Uh huh. Women don't want that. I thought women want.
- [42:19]
Robbie Hoffman
I've never been into people who don't want me, which is good. I do know dykes who like to go for a straight girl or something like that. I've never liked to be predatory or feeling like somebody's not into me. I want somebody into me and I want to be in the person. Like I just, I like being into each other. I like that feeling. But yeah, the guys in high school who were so kind and I would just maybe give them hand jobs, they would know, like to keep the chit chat slow, to keep it, to keep it low. And that's what we were doing. But I would have to think of things to talk to them about because I, it didn't come natural. And over time as I became comfortable, even though talk was always natural. So yeah, These are not things I think about.
- [43:10]
Cory Wara
When I said I mischaracterized your description of our national personality deficit, you're right. You never criticize boring people. If boring people are boring and more or less know it, and don't try to adopt some personality that's more elevated, that's fine with you.
- [43:28]
Robbie Hoffman
I love people who are themselves.
- [43:30]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [43:31]
Robbie Hoffman
Like, that's something I really. I love. I think always be the most. You.
- [43:38]
Cory Wara
Yeah. And I think. And tell me what you think of this.
- [43:41]
Robbie Hoffman
But it's hard. It takes time to do that, too. So I'm not. Not out of the gate. Everybody has to have themselves figured out. I mean, we're all on different. I think it takes the amount of a life to figure out a life.
- [43:51]
Cory Wara
Yeah. Because we all get pushed or rewarded. The stimulus that we get as animals interacting with each other dictates what the next interaction is going to be. So I do think society is probably not doing anyone a favor by kind of giving the message that. Here are some. Here are some topics of conversation that are going to go well or even. And I know you're attuned to this. Here are some phrases to use in your conversation to make you seem more interesting. Like talking about my truth. I mean, this is like another. Yeah, this is like another joke you have was like, you know, this is just true for me. And your observation was, well, of course it's true for you. That's what we're doing in conversation.
- [44:32]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. Like, you're gonna. Yeah. You're gonna talk about you. Yeah.
- [44:35]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [44:35]
Robbie Hoffman
And I'm gonna talk about me.
- [44:37]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [44:38]
Robbie Hoffman
That's how this is gonna go. I'm not. I don't know your shit. You don't know my shit. So let's tell each other each other's shit. That's kind of conversation. You know, it's this other idea that the world doesn't revolve around you. I think you were getting to that. These are things I heard sometimes they would say, the world doesn't revolve around you. And I would just be sitting there, like. But it literally does. I am only on the vantage point of my two feet. Everywhere I look, I can look around. I can still only look out for my eyes. Our world's literally quite like if we're a protractor in math, you're standing on the feet of your protractor, and you can look around, but you can still only ever see from your vantage point, from your perspective. So the world does revolve around you, and it revolves around you. And you and you. It revolves. That's the whole thing. You have your own world. It collides with another world. And we have Venn diagrams that go. And so we're gonna share our worlds with each other, but I don't like to be assumed to know yours or you assume to know mine.
- [45:50]
Cory Wara
Right. And so this is a point of conversation that I think people are forgetting, and you're pointing this out, you know, comes from the word. Or a related word is converve, which is to try to change someone. The reason we converse is to some extent to convince them to tell them to maybe even not. Maybe even not to win them over. But just here's my point of view. And now you're different, and now you're convinced, and we've begun to apologize for that in a big way. We're going to converse, and we might disagree, and I might actually change your mind. I'm not sorry about that. I think I've done you a great favor.
- [46:23]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. I'm just so comfortable, I think, growing up in. In close quarters with nine other siblings, my great Uncle Eddie and my mother. I think, may he rest in peace. I think that. That I'm just so comfortable disagreeing and existing.
- [46:42]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [46:42]
Robbie Hoffman
It's just. It to me, is not. It's. It just is like, you know, I think rich people. I've talked to this to some extent, but I'm sure not to your audience, but I think that rich people, maybe they had their own room growing up, so maybe two sisters or brother and sister had a fight and they disagree or whatever, and they don't want to talk anymore. They go into the room and they close the door. I shared a room with some of my sisters, so it's like, you know, whatever the bitch has to say, I got to sleep with her. You know, it's like, at certain point, we're not. There's nowhere to go. You know, my mother. You know, our phone was in the middle, like, hallway of the. Of the house. So it's like we had one phone there. And if my mother was crying on the phone because, you know, I don't know, some. Some horrible financial thing, we'd be like, ma, is it not going well? Like, you know, it's like we didn't get to not know anything. We just lived among conflict and got comfortable with it. And I'm fine disagreeing. One of my brothers, Schneer, is pretty. Is very homophobic, but loves me. I think it can be true. And it is true, because that's my experience. We speak Often he calls Gabby toots. He doesn't like it, but he loves us. Like, I don't know. I'm not cut. We don't cut people off either. We all just let and let live. I don't know. I don't find it. It's easy for me to disagree. I think rich people cut each other off more. So like you disagree with me and my father's a Republican and this like we just didn't have. There's no cutting off. I was sleeping in a bed, right? Like that's it. So I don't mind disagreeing. And I think where that's hard for people is I can lean into confrontation, I can lean into argument. I love discussing and I love differences. So I actually, yeah, it's. For me it's become a point of value.
- [48:47]
Cory Wara
Do you ever try to convince Schneer about something about the validity of, well, he's homophobic. Try to convince him off that or just live your life and be yourself and hopefully gets there.
- [48:58]
Robbie Hoffman
No, I don't even care if he gets there. I don't care. Yeah, if he likes gay people. We don't. I don't give a fuck. Like who cares? I just, I don't care what he thinks. I just like who he is. But I don't care if he gets anywhere or doesn't. I want him to live in dignity. I don't want him to hurt people. Obviously his own opinions are his opinions, but he's been limited by his life experience and, and he loves me. And I just listen, it's not a great answer, but it's just this thing that's like, it just is what it is. I don't have any opinion about how he should be or shouldn't be. I just want him to be healthy, happy. I want a baseline for everyone.
- [49:41]
Cory Wara
So if you're comfortable in conflict. When does that not work? When are there. What are the characteristics of a conflict you had where there was bad feelings or where things did fall?
- [49:54]
Robbie Hoffman
It does happen. Listen, it happens. I think I have, you know, I think when people are not good with it, I think people who haven't had long term relationships, you know, whether. First of all, I have nine siblings, I speak to six of them. Three and I, we don't get along, but six is still some pretty fundamental long plus 30 year relationships. I have friends from childhood. I have new friends from last year. I'm people who don't get used to the ebb and flow of a relationship. Be it romantic, be it friendship, be it familial. That. That's when it becomes too much. They find conflict to be assigned for. You know, obviously, there can be, first of all, violence. I don't talk to my father because. Conflicts. He's violent.
- [50:41]
Cory Wara
Yeah. Yeah.
- [50:41]
Robbie Hoffman
So that's a line for me. I can't tolerate any violence. But. And, you know, and that can be. If my brother Schneer was spewing hate speech all the time, I would be sick of it. You know? But we kind of keep to ourselves on some of these things.
- [50:56]
Cory Wara
Nair's one of the six.
- [50:58]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, he's wonderful. So it's funny, I just sent him a nightstand because he lives, like. He's very neat, and he lives in an apartment with, like, you know, his bed, his couch. And he said, what am I gonna do with a nightstand? I said, you're gonna use it. Okay. You don't need a cup of water. I don't know. You put a nightstand. You'll put your phone. You'll put a book, your Jergens. I don't know if you jerk. I don't know. You never heard of a nightstand. But it's like. It's like getting him. And then he sent me pictures. He's loving the nightstand. Never lived with a nightstand. Like, you know, these people. It's so little for them. At first, he's like, what am I gonna do? Like, he's mad, and I'm like, just take. Just say thank you.
- [51:37]
Cory Wara
Right? There's also only one answer to what am I gonna do with a nightstand?
- [51:41]
Robbie Hoffman
He's not a speak of metal. I'm like, what do you. You go to the bathroom, you brush your teeth, and then you're in bed. Like, what is. What is your life that he's either out of bed or he's in bed. Like, there's no book. There's no. There's nothing around the bed. Like, it's just somewhere to put. And it was like, a fight to get him. And then two weeks later, I was like, so, any update on the nightstand? Sent me three pictures. Like, love the nightstand. And I sent someone that had a plug in it for his phone. He's like, plug is excellent. I'm like, see? Like, what was he bending down? Like? I'm like, these are simple. It's not even a money thing for him. It's just. He doesn't think of a nightstand.
- [52:23]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [52:23]
Robbie Hoffman
Let alone gay people. Like, let alone. You know what I mean? He doesn't think of a nightstand.
- [52:27]
Cory Wara
So gay people in nightstands are similar to, what am I going through the Gay people.
- [52:31]
Robbie Hoffman
He's as ignorant with a small table. He probably has been in Walmart many times in seen nightstands and been like, what? Retards are using these tiny tables? Like, to him, a table is to eat, so you have a table. Like, he's never even evolved and he's just. I love him.
- [52:50]
Cory Wara
It just doesn't make sense to him.
- [52:51]
Robbie Hoffman
It doesn't make sense to him. It seems extra. It seems like, oh, this is what gay people are doing. They have a nightstand. Like, everything is gay with him.
- [52:59]
Cory Wara
So things that don't make sense to him. He puts it in category of gay.
- [53:02]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. He's like, ah, some gay shit. They have a little table now. And it's like. It's not like we didn't have nightstands. I guess we didn't as kids, but pretty, I guess My mother had in her room, she had kind of a desk, but it was a cat. It was so close to her bed that she could put stuff on it. I'm trying to think of any room. We had bunk beds, so there was no nightstands when you're a kid. But it's like, imagine it's so crazy that a nightstand is Gabby's. Like, why is he yelling about? He's like, he's returning. He's not accepting the nightstand. Like he's gonna return it to Amazon. I'm like, he's yelling at the guy. So I don't know. I don't even know how we got on that. But that's right.
- [53:48]
Cory Wara
No, it's important that we did. His psychology is interesting to me.
- [53:52]
Robbie Hoffman
I know that we have to. First of all.
- [53:54]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [53:56]
Robbie Hoffman
I have to show you the nightstand.
- [53:58]
Cory Wara
Okay.
- [53:59]
Robbie Hoffman
Okay.
- [53:59]
Cory Wara
I bet it's a nightstand.
- [54:01]
Robbie Hoffman
We should post the nightstand because it is just.
- [54:04]
Cory Wara
We should enroll.
- [54:07]
Robbie Hoffman
It's just. It's Here it is.
- [54:11]
Cory Wara
And if we go to Shneur's apartment, this is what we'll say now, because he's come to accept it, loves the night sen.
- [54:19]
Robbie Hoffman
Here's him standing and I haven't even sense it's functional. I have it on WhatsApp too. He sent it to twice just to make sure I got. Let's see. You can cut all this, but no, this is gold.
- [54:33]
Cory Wara
You understand? You understand what drives Patreon listeners.
- [54:36]
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. But anyway, I don't see it here, but he's loving the nightstand.
- [54:40]
Cory Wara
Well, you got to send it to us and we'll just cut to a picture of the nightstand.
- [54:43]
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. I wish I had all the pictures of it because he sent me so many.
- [54:49]
Cory Wara
So I Do want to ask you, though, about when you were talking about conflict and people aren't as good with.
- [54:55]
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, here's the nice thing.
- [54:56]
Cory Wara
Oh, yeah. Let's say. Let's say.
- [54:58]
Robbie Hoffman
Okay. And I had to tell him, it's in the middle. So I said, you know, it's next to your bed. You have to put it next to your bed. Cause now he just has it in the middle of the floor. He's like this small, little gay table.
- [55:09]
Cory Wara
Table in the middle of the floor.
- [55:11]
Robbie Hoffman
And I'm like, are you retarded? But he doesn't like things. He's very clean and neat. So then finally, he moved it by the bed, but look at. It's got a little light. So if he wakes up in the middle of the night, it's censored.
- [55:22]
Cory Wara
That's nice.
- [55:24]
Robbie Hoffman
And now it's next to the bed. You see him standing. He's loving the nightstand. We should post this. What, he's single?
- [55:31]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [55:32]
Robbie Hoffman
And he doesn't. He's an incel.
- [55:34]
Cory Wara
Yeah, it's hard.
- [55:36]
Robbie Hoffman
And this is the shelves I sent him. He finally put them up, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to put anything in them because he said, there's such small drawers on the top. I said, it's good to have for personal, because he has a closet where he hangs his work shirts. But I said, but what about your pants? He said, he likes to keep them in the duffel bag. I said, you don't need to live in a duffel bag. It's like, neat in a thing. And I don't know. He just. He doesn't want to take up too much space, even in his own apartment. It's his. I said, put it here. He said, where am I gonna put these shelves? So we look out for each other, but we don't understand each other's lives.
- [56:12]
Cory Wara
Yeah, well, that's definitely from how we grew up, with all those brothers and sisters taking up too much space. Do you have some of that, too?
- [56:19]
Robbie Hoffman
I do. I like small spaces also. I think we're all a little bit into small spaces, but I also can definitely get used to a lifestyle.
- [56:29]
Cory Wara
So in the beginning of the show, you make a joke about P. Diddy, and then you reveal to the audience, now, of course, I'm not in favor of this.
- [56:40]
Robbie Hoffman
No, I know.
- [56:40]
Cory Wara
You don't say alleged rapist. Of course not. And I was wondering if you felt you had to let them in on it rather than just think.
- [56:49]
Robbie Hoffman
No, I just did it for another joke.
- [56:51]
Cory Wara
Oh, okay.
- [56:51]
Robbie Hoffman
Because I let them know of course I'm not. Because I like to say the guy who came up to me. I started adding that.
- [56:57]
Cory Wara
Yes.
- [56:58]
Robbie Hoffman
Because then I go. Because a guy came up to me and he said, you know, I also thought he was innocent, you know, so that's why I let them know.
- [57:05]
Cory Wara
But I think a lot of the things you say, you probably don't quote, unquote, believe. I mean, this is what comedians do. They exaggerate and they play with ideas. Yeah.
- [57:15]
Brian Greene
So.
- [57:15]
Cory Wara
But the only reason you do that with P. Diddy is because of that second joke that's there.
- [57:20]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, I always do. Like, if I think it's funny, I'll say it. So I level with the audience early on to let them know. But I also. It's because, you know, it's not for them necessarily, it's for me. I know I have something coming that was important that I revealed that.
- [57:36]
Cory Wara
But then I don't know if a very smart audience member, an audience member wants to take it to this level, can then infer, well, these things that she said, these things that made me laugh or didn't or were perhaps crazy seeming or offensive. Maybe they're in the category of the P. Diddy joke. Maybe they're not things she literally.
- [57:52]
Robbie Hoffman
I don't care.
- [57:52]
Cory Wara
Like rock climbing.
- [57:54]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. I just don't care if they. I mean, I don't care. So what are you going to do with somebody doesn't care?
- [58:02]
Cory Wara
Well, the only. That's true, but the only consideration I think would be to have the audience. There is a calculation that some comics do not to lose the audience, to have the audience on your side. So are you saying at your shows, when you sell tickets to your shows and it's a Robbie Hoffman show, you know, the audience gets you and is gonna be on your side?
- [58:21]
Robbie Hoffman
I mean, my audience, I have been. Word of mouth, I have been person by person. My audience rides for me.
- [58:34]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [58:35]
Robbie Hoffman
You know what you're getting when you're like, they are. They're wanting it. Like, I don't know. I don't. It's only growing person by person. And when you're signing onto this, you're signing onto it.
- [58:50]
Cory Wara
When you speak about the audience in the abstract, you're always very complimentary, but at the time, do you bully the audience a little bit?
- [58:57]
Robbie Hoffman
Never.
- [58:57]
Cory Wara
No, come on.
- [58:58]
Robbie Hoffman
No, I don't. This is how, when I rag on you, it's. I'm enjoying you.
- [59:02]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [59:03]
Robbie Hoffman
And I think it's like my best friend Carmen, when I call him a faggot, an incel. I Love him. These are terms of endearment for me. My brother is an incel. I'm in my own flesh and blood. It couldn't be, you know, so, no, it's that, you know, I'm a six year old flirting, you know, where a six year old doesn't know. So they poke at and they have a little bit of fun at your expense, but not seriously. And if I ever do cross the line and I actually hurt somebody's feelings, I'm kind of quick to apologize because it isn't my intention. I think, like I say, and people are starting to know this about me, I am opposite Ellen. You know, Ellen comes off as kind. She purports to be kind and nice. She's dancing. Right. But she's actually a terror to work with. People have heard this, right?
- [59:55]
Cory Wara
Yeah, there's some documentation out on it. Yeah.
- [59:58]
Robbie Hoffman
Well, I'm kind of the opposite. I come out aggressive. I am a little rough around the edges, but I'm actually a fucking delight to work with. All right, so it'll come out one day that I'm kind. You wait and see. You wait and see. Just because I'm aggressive in this, this is a way to be kind, too. You don't have to be the fake nicey nicey. I'm generous kind. All the stuff.
- [60:19]
Cory Wara
I think I have this theory that people who put kind in their Twitter profiles, I don't know how you test it, Are probably less kind than.
- [60:26]
Robbie Hoffman
It's bizarre.
- [60:28]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [60:28]
Robbie Hoffman
Just because I'm yelling at you doesn't mean I'm mad. Just because I'm complaining doesn't mean I'm not enjoying. Like, there's nuance to everything, you know what I mean? It's just like. Just because I'm aggressive doesn't mean I'm not kind, you know? Yes. When I give a homeless person money, for instance, like, I feel, you know, I say, good luck. I said, please. That's it with the windows. Take this and goodbye. That's it. And I see the same guy every week in la. And I go, no, I'm not in the mood. But here, come, please, my lights, my lights. And if he makes me miss the light, he goes, I'm sorry. I'm like, bro, you know, we have. We love each other. Yeah.
- [61:08]
Cory Wara
You know what?
- [61:08]
Robbie Hoffman
That guy. And I hate if he's not there. I'm like, I'm here today. Where is he? You know? But so there's different ways. There's not like one way to be anything. There's not one way to play your cards. There's not one. Everything is everything.
- [61:26]
Cory Wara
Yeah. I also think Ellen is definitely unlike you because she's one of these people who falls back onto. You know, I was gonna say psychobabble, but a lot of psychology laden jargon and the phrases like my truth and these kind of boring phrases that paper over and excuse the interesting parts of a personality.
- [61:50]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
- [61:51]
Cory Wara
You know, I watched her special and she even did this thing where she claimed something about, you know, I'm just trying, I'm making mistakes, but I'm human. And then she paused and of course the audience had to applaud. And it went on for like 18 seconds. And she has the cut on that. And like, I thought that was the most indulgent thing it made. I don't. I like Ellen. I'm fine with her, but that just made. There's something about that that made my smile.
- [62:12]
Robbie Hoffman
No, Ellen's a legend. Ellen is a g. There's no question. You know, I think she's one of the greatest to ever do it. I'll say that. I saw that special live at the Largo and it was amazing. She was a bit more fuckery.
- [62:25]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [62:25]
Robbie Hoffman
Which I really liked. I know she's got this whole brand. She's still trying to salvage some kind brand. I wish she just went fuck off. You know, I just wish she just, you know, for what we put Ellen through. You know, she comes out, you cancel her show. It had amazing ratings. It wasn't. It was just overt. You know, we hardened her. The industry hardened her. Then she becomes hard, and then we yell at her for being hard. I don't, you know, I think everything is a product of everything. So I still think she's a legend. I'm sure all the jimmies aren't any nicer than her, you know, I'm sure, you know, it's not accident that these people, some of the people we canceled the most are black, are women. You know, Cosby needed to be canceled. There's no question. But you don't think members of the Catholic Church or the government. I mean, you don't think other community. I think everybody is just as bad as everyone. Everybody can be just as good as everybody. The people we decide to target are societally more excited. You know, it triggers something in people. I think. Yeah. I think black people and women get canceled really hard. Roseanne got canceled really hard. And I think fine. She also. You know what I mean? But I think I'm not excusing what any of these people do. I just think it's interesting to look at who has the biggest cancellations and who gets the forgiveness.
- [63:58]
Cory Wara
Do you feel that your appeal.
- [64:01]
Robbie Hoffman
Like Puff Daddy.
- [64:02]
Cory Wara
Go ahead.
- [64:03]
Robbie Hoffman
How many Puff Daddies are there? Thousands. You know, I don't think. And then Jews. Weinstein went down. How many Weinsteins do you think there are?
- [64:14]
Cory Wara
Right.
- [64:15]
Robbie Hoffman
I'm just saying that it continues to be the marginalized that are made. The biggest examples. They're shitty. I'm not excusing, but there's a million regular gentile people doing this shit.
- [64:29]
Cory Wara
A lot of people wouldn't make the distinction between Jew and gentile. It's just white. It's all white.
- [64:35]
Robbie Hoffman
No, Weinstein, Epstein. There's a lot of Epstein.
- [64:38]
Cory Wara
Not because of what they did, but because they're.
- [64:40]
Robbie Hoffman
Listen, they deserve to go down.
- [64:42]
Cory Wara
Yes.
- [64:42]
Robbie Hoffman
The way they went down. They took a hit for many other powerful people. Bill Gates isn't going down.
- [64:47]
Cory Wara
Right.
- [64:47]
Robbie Hoffman
Bill Gates is a hit on him. There's many people who can go down who we don't even know of. They're not necessarily on our radar right now. If they pop, but they don't. We need, like. We need a fall guy every so often for these crimes that many people do. But most definitely it's gonna be a black guy. It's gonna be a Jew, or it's gonna be a woman. So last thing, I think just pattern of who has gone down the hardest and then who gets to go up again.
- [65:18]
Cory Wara
So the last thing I wanna ask you about is something that I didn't realize until I saw you live. And people listening to this will not get even. People watching this. You're an extremely physical performer and bend at very many angles. So. And you're friendly with.
- [65:35]
Brian Greene
Or.
- [65:36]
Cory Wara
I don't know if anyone's made the comparison. They probably have since he's a huge comedian. But Sebastian Maniscalo, to me, you. Yes. And I think that. Well, I have a couple questions. He's a trained dancer. Does it just come back? Does it come to you naturally or did. Is it one of those things where you realize when you gestured funny, they laughed more? It's like, oh, maybe I'll do that some more.
- [65:57]
Robbie Hoffman
My body is operating on its own. Just like. I'm not thinking necessarily how I'm talking to you. I haven't thought any place about my hands. It's the same thing on stage. I might be, but my body is. So many of my bits are so visceral, I can feel them, you know, And I could. Like, if I do a bit about how somebody goes to the bathroom. I'm literally walking like them. The conveying of it. The girl on the airplane who closed the bathroom door behind her. I mean, I want you to see what the fuck I saw.
- [66:33]
Cory Wara
Right.
- [66:33]
Robbie Hoffman
You know, and I just. It's. It's as if I'm replaying a movie in my head. Like, it's just. I don't have to think of it again. I know when I say that bit again, it's. I'm gonna watch the movie. It's like rewinding. And I see that bitch getting in the bathroom, and I see how she's getting out of it. Like, it's not. I don't even have to remember a lot of my stuff in that way because I could see it.
- [67:00]
Cory Wara
You're just telling them what happened.
- [67:02]
Robbie Hoffman
Like some. Some things like that. The physical parts. I think that you're saying more impressions or whatever. I also come from a loud, talky family. Physically. Talk family. Jews are not, you know, we have elbows on the table. We're not. We're not polite. You know, there's a lot of hand talking. There's a lot of my mother from across the aisle in the, you know, in the supermarket going, you know, shut the up with a gesture. Just like gestures. There's a lot of talking. Like, you know, I think you have. So there's. There's a lot of physical talking.
- [67:46]
Cory Wara
Yeah.
- [67:47]
Robbie Hoffman
As much as there is. We use everything at our disposal. And maybe because I'm small, Sebastian's small, too. Maybe I just. I need to be louder or something. Maybe some kind. I don't know.
- [68:00]
Cory Wara
Do you think if I watched your show five times, you would bend at the same angles every time for every joke in the same way?
- [68:08]
Robbie Hoffman
I know. I don't. I don't think exactly, but I think you'll get a lot of bending.
- [68:13]
Cory Wara
At one point, it seemed to me, is she davening? I mean, you do a full top body bend.
- [68:18]
Robbie Hoffman
All the people. Yeah, people have got. Listen, Gabby says I'm always moving and dancing with Gabby, but I'm not like a dancer. She's a dancer. She. You know, when Dancing with the Stars, I mean, she was an NFL cheerleader for five years. I mean, she's been dancing her whole life, but I'm always dancing and singing. I sing a lot in my day. I don't have the worst voice, singing wise, it turns out. That's according to Gabby. But my. My dancing is abysmal. But I still enjoy to do it.
- [68:49]
Cory Wara
Oh, and the last thing I want to ask you is, does anyone still Does Schneer or any of your relatives, anyone still call you Rifka?
- [68:55]
Robbie Hoffman
They all call me Rifky.
- [68:56]
Cory Wara
Yeah. Rifky.
- [68:57]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah.
- [68:58]
Cory Wara
And is that a different name than Rifka?
- [69:00]
Robbie Hoffman
La. Yeah. Rifka is like my, you know, my given name. But Rifky is like the, you know, Robert.
- [69:07]
Cory Wara
Robbie, do you want. Oh, I see. Right. More or less formal. When you tell jokes about your birth certificate and it says Robbie, is that just so the audience doesn't get confused?
- [69:17]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah, I don't need. I mean, my mother, when I first went by Robbie, which is my Uncle Rob's name, and that's why I took it, because I was, like, just starting stand up, but I was also working in an accounting firm, and I was getting paid every two weeks for the first time and loving the money.
- [69:34]
Cory Wara
I was like, Canadian money, but still.
- [69:37]
Robbie Hoffman
Yeah. So I wasn't about to, like, ruin nothing doing stand up because I was like, what could, you know? So I wanted a different stage name. So my friend Steph, who was helping me make this show, was like, now's our chance, so change your name, whatever. And I was looking for an R. I didn't want to change, like, my initial. It felt really fast. And my Uncle Rob was in the family, and I never heard a bad thing about him. And so I went with, you know, I went with Rob, Robbie. And my mother was like, why? You know, it's such a beautiful Jewish name, Rifka, you know, like, why are you ashamed? As if I had shame. And I'm like, mai, you think within 30 seconds of me being on stage, everybody's like, I wonder if she's Catholic. Like, it's. There's nothing. There's nothing to hide. Like, you cannot hide. Like, there's nothing, like, nefarious going on here, Ma. It's like, I don't want to be brought up. And they're like, ravuka. Like, nobody knows how to say what the fuck you gave me. So it just worked in the end.
- [70:43]
Cory Wara
Robbie Hoffman. Rivka Hoffman, if you will, if you are from Canada. Thank you so much.
- [70:50]
Robbie Hoffman
Thank you. You can follow too far, Pod. We are Patreon only. We've made it affordable. $5. If you're too poor and you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. It's like, do not. If you don't have money, don't be splurging on Patreon.
- [71:02]
Cory Wara
Right? Like, when you go to the Duane Reade and the toothpaste.
- [71:05]
Robbie Hoffman
If I was you 10 years ago, I wouldn't be spending on Patreon. It's not a priority. It's not if you have an extra five. Okay. But do not be mincing me to do this podcast. And I'm Robbie Hoffman on Instagram nudes and show dates. Thank you.
- [71:21]
Cory Wara
Thank you. That was excellent.
- [71:22]
Robbie Hoffman
Oh, my God, I adore you.
- [71:24]
Cory Wara
Oh, that's excellent.
- [71:25]
Robbie Hoffman
I adore you. You're an excellent interviewer.
- [71:33]
Cory Wara
And that's it for today's show. Cory Wara produced the gist, and Astrid Green is our social media coordinator. Michelle Pescas, cbso of Peach fish productions. Ashley Khan is co CBSO of peach fish productions. Leo Baum is our intern. Improve duper. Thanks for listening.