← The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
836: I Set These Boundaries, and My Life Transformed – Yours Can Too
00:39:14
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- [00:01]
A
If your boundary will provide you more peace of mind, then that should be reason enough. And let me just say, I know it is so hard not to overshare and justify to get people to understand. At least it is for me. But you do not owe anyone an explanation or a reason beyond saying this is what you need in order to show up better in your life.
- [00:21]
B
I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Gold Digger Podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a $300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm ready running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks. All from my house in small town Minnesota with my family here. We value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love. I've always loved turning big goals into reality and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical, no fluff marketing strategy strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired and empowered. This is the Gold Digger podcast.
- [01:23]
C
I was recently on stage and I was doing a Q and A with the CEO of this company and one of the main themes of our conversation was boundaries. And he had said that just through working with me and watching me, that he had learned so much about boundaries. Now if there is one lesson that I've learned in both work and life, it's this. You have to focus on protecting your peace. Your energy, your focus, your happiness. They all depend on it. But here's the thing. Protecting your peace doesn't just happen on its own. It requires intentionality. It requires courage and the willingness to set boundaries that honor your time, your values and your priorities. But let's be real. Boundaries aren't always easy to define or to enforce, especially when you're juggling a business and relationships and personal goals. And I've personally found that boundaries are harder for women to enforce than for men. Now that's why in today's episode, I'm sharing the boundaries that have helped me to show up better, better at work, for my family, and most importantly, for myself. These boundaries are tried and true. And even though I recorded this episode back in 2022 nothing has really changed since this episode original originally aired. So whether you're feeling overwhelmed or you just need a reminder to prioritize your well being, this conversation is your permission slip to say no more often and yes to things that truly mattered. So without further ado, let's dive on in and talk about boundaries.
- [02:52]
B
Picture this. You're at a party and someone asks you what you do as a marketer. Like, how do you even begin to describe it? You have to generate leads, score them, contact them, create content, gather data, and tomorrow you have to do it all over again. And you also are spending time wondering if all that you're doing is even working. Marketers are spread way too thin, but HubSpot has a better way. With the help of HubSpot's collection of AI tools, Breeze and features like Content Remix, you can turn one piece of content into a suite of assets. You can also pinpoint the best prospects with predictive lead scoring and level up your campaign KPIs with a new analytics suite so your day to day becomes less busywork and more driving revenue through the roof. And most most importantly, you'll have a way easier time describing what you do at parties. Visit HubSpot.com marketers to learn more. That's HubSpot.com marketers according to Behavioral neuroscience.
- [03:53]
A
Researcher Joaquin Selva, the consequence of not setting healthy boundaries often include stress, financial burdens, wasted time, and relationship issues which can result in mental distress like resentment. So essentially, a lack of boundaries can negatively impact all aspects of someone's life. Now, in the past, I've definitely been the person who takes on so much responsibility in the way of projects and clients and partnerships and launches simply because I want to grow and grow and grow. But in the end, a lot of times that pursuit and that style of pursuit burnt me out just as much, or maybe even more than it pushed me. And I have had to learn how to say no to things. Some things that I'm actually interested in, like I want to do because I don't have the time or I'm not willing to sacrifice other more important things in my life. I've had to learn to do things like outsource tasks that didn't specifically need my hands or eyes or brains to complete so that I could get out of the weeds of having so many things to do. And I've had to learn to prioritize what's most important and then ruthlessly protect those things and just focus on them, even if it means sacrificing other things that I care about. And I've had to learn to keep small promises to myself because those compound and make a bigger difference in the long run for my own success, my health, my relationships, even my belief in myself, in following through, in staying true to what I say matters the most to me. I wanted to steal a few lines from my own book, how are you really? And read you a small section about boundaries and burnout. Because lack of boundaries usually leads to one thing, which is burnout. So here's what it says. In case it's unclear, my burnout didn't happen overnight. Does it ever? It was slow and sweltering, adding a deadline here and an event there, until my commitments had become a full on bonfire, raging, out of control with little room to breathe. I didn't realize until it was too late, but I can see now exactly how it happened. Somewhere between shooting my first wedding and the night of my undoing, I had tricked myself into believing that boundaries were for weak people, whatever that meant. I thought I was the kind of person who could face the hardship of stress and exhaustion without having to do anything about it. I thought I could just power through a little bit longer and then I'd take a break once things slowed down. But things never slowed down because I didn't slow down. Every time that small voice inside of me asked me to slow down, I would tell myself it was just the temptation to give up, lose my momentum, or cash in a break too early. Like it's something I had to suffer through to earn. Like it was the voice of pessimism. And me? Well, I was an optimist, an overcomer, an achiever. Stopping, turning back, slowing down, saying no. I wanted those options out of my playbook. I wanted to prove to myself and everyone watching that I didn't need breaks. I wasn't tired, I didn't need a rest. It wasn't time to sit on the bench. I read this to you because maybe you can relate where you want to, just keep going. This idea of momentum is keeping you on this path of saying yes. Maybe you're believing in this idea of a big break and that someone is going to hand it to you. And so if you say no to someone else, you might miss out on that. I've believed all those lies too. But the one thing that has saved me time and time again are boundaries. I saw an article from Positive Psychology that provides this framework for setting a boundary in a way that will set, stick and produce the positive benefits that you desire. It's a four part process and it goes something like this. Step one define. Step two communicate. Step three stay simple. And step four set consequences. So in other words, you first need to identify and define your desired boundary and then you have to say what you need. And this can mean saying it to another person if it's a relational boundary, or simply saying it to yourself. Maybe write it down in a journal or on your notes app on your phone, or text it to a friend or partner if you want help. Staying accountable. Next is stay simple. Which means don't feel the need to over explain or give all these reasons and backstories for your boundary. If your boundary will provide you more peace of mind, then that should be reason enough. And let me just say, I know it is so hard not to overshare and justify to get people to understand, at least it is for me. But you do not owe anyone an explanation or a reason beyond saying this is what you need in order to show up better in your life. And then lastly, set consequences. And setting consequences might look different given the frame of your boundary, but it could include things like restricting relationships with people who don't support that boundary, or finding an accountability buddy, or even removing privileges from your life to uphold a boundary. Like saying you won't go on social media until you've meditated for 10 minutes every morning. It doesn't have to be something that's hard or fast or daunting or scary. It can just be something that helps you stick to the boundary. Now, I look at boundaries like bumpers in bowling. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you have a small kid or if you bowl like I do, you probably understand this reference. But you know when you can pop up those bumpers and it helps keep your ball down the path, it keeps you from going in the gutter, so to speak, literally and figuratively. And the ball can bounce off of the bumpers, but it stays on the path towards the pins. That's what I think boundaries are like. It's like putting the bumpers up in your life. Because sometimes when we're left to our own devices, we just throw ourselves right into the gutter. We don't even get a chance to aim towards where we want to go. So let's jump into the 12 boundaries I keep to protect my peace each week. And I want for you to just listen to these and think about what this could look like in your life. It doesn't have to be the same as mine, doesn't even have to be relatively close to it. I just want to share what I do and why. And then I want for you to ask yourself, what will serve you? What will put up the bumpers in your life to keep you on the path that you're on? So, first, no cell phone notifications while I work. This actually drove Drew crazy today because he was at the store and he was texting me about what to buy for Quinn, and I wasn't looking because I always put do not disturb on. Like, my phone basically lives in do not disturb mode for 20 hours of the day. I don't want notifications on my phone for things like emails or texts to suddenly pull me away from a task at hand and send me into this, like, reactionary mode versus being proactive. And I even have to ask permission before texting. On my team, we have this rule where we don't text each other, we don't use our phones for work unless we ask permission. And basically, I love that because it helps me stay in my life because at the drop of the hat, I might be in mom mode and then back in work mode. And I don't want to fear looking at my phone for fear that it would, like, send me into an anxious spiral or remind me of something that I need to get done when I'm actually focusing on something else. So it helps like, that I don't feel required to use my phone for work, and it makes it so that my phone doesn't feel like this daunting, you know, extra limb just reminding me of all the things I need to be doing. Because, trust me, I'm a doer. And so when my brain turns on like that, it's really hard to turn it off. So do not disturb mode totally helps me. Or even sometimes I put it in airplane mode. Like, when I'm recording, it's an airplane mode. And then I don't feel like I'm going to get as distracted. There's also that goes along with this boundary. There's also this app called the forest app. And what you do is you set an amount of time that you want to focus, and it literally grows a tree. They actually plant trees for how much you stay focused. And so if you say, like, I want to focus on a task for 20 minutes, if you click out of that app, it kills the tree that was growing. And so, one, you feel this, like, utter responsibility to follow through. But two, you kind of start to notice how many times you pick up your phone and then you see the tree growing, and you're like, oh, yeah, I was supposed to be focused. So if Phone distraction is something that gets you try the poor step. It's something that helps me and a few members of my team. Okay, number two, speaking of phones, we do not allow phones in our bedroom. This is huge for Drew and myself, and this is how we connect at the end of our day. It's something we've been doing for years and years. Talked about it multiple times on this show, but we noticed a long time ago, and I'm talking, like, years and years ago, that it was so easy to crawl into bed exhausted at the end of the day and just sit and scroll for an hour instead of talking or snuggling or reading to each other, like, whatever that looks like. And so we have gotten in this habit. My mom can attest to it because she stays at our house, like, once a week. And we charge all of our devices, our watches, everything is charged in one little corner or one cabinet in our house. It's like a squeaky cabinet intentionally, and everything goes in there. And it's been really good for us because when we disconnect from our phones and our screens and we're not tempted to, like, wake up and start scrolling in the morning, it's been really helpful. And if you're worried that someone's going to call or there might be an emergency, leave your ringer on in the other room or play with your settings to only allow calls from certain numbers to go through. So I've also considered, like, charging my phone in our closet so that it's nearby if there were an emergency, but it's also not, like, on my nightstand. And also, there's, like, all these EMF things, but I won't get into that. Okay. Number three, I love using my Apple watch when I'm with my kids. So I've actually been talking about this to a lot of mom friends because I like to leave my phone in a different room, but then that way I can see texts or slack messages or if somebody's calling, I can see it on my watch. And I know this seems really small, but I would way rather have my kids see me look at a watch than to look at my phone or to be holding my phone in my hand all the time. They don't really know what I'm looking at when I'm looking at my watch. And so I just feel like it's a way less obtrusive way to make sure everything's fine. There's no emergencies. I can see if anything urgent comes through through, but I can stay present with my kids and it is also not tempting because you can't sit on your watch and scroll. So it's just like, here are the notifications. Do with them what you will, but stay focused. And I know that Apple watches are not a small investment by any means, but for me it's been really, really worthwhile. Not only that, but it has helped me stay more consistent with moving. I set things to like, remind me to breathe, have mindful minutes, things like that. And so it's just been this secondary bonus on top of being able to just stay on top of anything that's coming in, but not get distracted or suck down any rabble holes with it. Number four is keeping my workplace calm and chaos free by turning on meditation music or spa music when I work. I literally laughed at my top Spotify last year because it was this mix of like Zen and worship music, two types of music that really just like calm my nervous system. Truly when I listen to them, I feel like I breathe deeper, I focus better. And I know it sounds funny, but this actually does feel like this micro bounce boundary in it that allows my head space to remain at ease and peaceful. It keeps me breathing deeper. So even if I'm cranking out work or trying to finish something big on a tight deadline, I have on just relaxing music. Drew actually laughs a lot because I either work in silence or when I have music on it is like just straight up spa music. And when I'm doing like work that doesn't require straight on focus, I actually like to listen to meditations on Spotify. And a lot of times just hearing like the subconscious messaging of like take a deep breath or unclench your jaw or release your shoulders. It helps me just stay in the zone and like kind of pick up those cues to just stay relaxed while I'm working.
- [15:28]
B
Let's talk about something I think most of us can relate to, which is last minute card panic. It's a holiday season and instead of scrambling to find stamps or digging through those generic store bought cards, you can actually be ahead of the game for once. That's what Moonpig is all about. Moonpig lets you create the most thoughtful personalized cards. You can add your favorite family photos, write something that'll make your loved one smile, laugh, or even tear up a little. And they'll even give you a nudge if you need some inspiration for exactly what to say. And here's the real magic. Get this Moon pig mails the cards for you. No stamps, no late night trips to the post office, just you on the couch with your cozy blanket. Making Holiday Magic Think about how much joy you can spread this year. Whether it's Grandma getting that sweet family portrait or a friend unwrapping a gift card that you've slipped inside the holiday card itself. It's so easy to add that personal touch. And with Moonpig, you can send cards to everyone on your list in a few clicks so you never forget anyone again. It'll make you love sending cards all over again. And because I want for you to try it too, your first card is absolutely free. Just head to moonpig again. That's moonpig.com US gold digger go make someone's day. Everyone deserves a Moon Pig card. You know, running a business is a lot like growing a garden, which is something I am obsessed with. You start with an idea, you nurture it, and before you know it, things are growing. And fast. But here's the thing. Just like any garden, running a business has its weeds. The payroll, the hr, the paperwork.
- [17:07]
A
And that's why I have to tell.
- [17:08]
B
You about a move we just made in my own business in switching to Gusto. Gusto takes a hassle out of payroll and hr. They're like that expert gardener who steps into weed water and make sure everything's blooming just right. Like, imagine having all of your payroll taxes filed automatically, onboarding a breeze and benefits that work with your budget because Gusto makes all of that possible. Plus, they genuinely care about small businesses like yours and mine. I mean, it's no wonder Gusto is rated the number one payroll product for small businesses. Four out of five employers say Gusto helped them stay compliant with federal and state regulations. And with Gusto's simple guided software and user friendly interface, payroll and HR are no longer exhausting. They're rewarding. Do you want all of this and more with no hidden fees? Try it out for three months free@gusto.com gold digger that's gusto.com gold digger number.
- [18:02]
A
Five is not feeling pressure to respond to anything immediately. I actually just posted this picture on my Instagram stories of a text message and I did not even notice or realize that I had 218 unread texts. And I'm kind of grimacing when I say this. I know that is probably making a lot of you burst out in hives, but I honestly didn't even notice. And let me tell you, if you are an inbox zero warrior and cannot breathe calmly until all messages are responded to, you are just like my husband Drew. I hear you, but you absolutely cannot Protect your peace by always reacting and responding. And that isn't to say that I should probably check those 218 messages. I think most of them are like order confirmations or like dumb reminder things. They're not like actual people waiting for a response. But at the same time too, I've had to create that boundary of like, I do like focused texting time, which sounds really silly, where I send out voice memos to people I love and check in on people and stuff, but I'm not constantly on my phone. And honestly, when I think about things like responding immediately, email is another one. There's this stat that like 99% of people check their email every single day and most people check up to 20 times a day, which is bananas. But the best thing that I ever did in that scenario was set up an autoresponder that answers FAQs, gives people this idea of when they'll hear back from me. And I like people comment on my autoresponder game all the time. We just update it consistently, like it's been up for years, so it's constantly working. And we update it depending on what's going on in the business and make sure I connect people with someone else on my team if something's urgent. And so I just love that because it's like, here's how we can take care of you, but here's also when you can expect a response and here's who you can expect to respond because 99% of the time it's not going to be me. And so I love just setting those expectations and boundaries up front. And also anyone who has my phone number and text me, they know that it'll take a bit. Like a lot of times people will be like, hey, no need to respond. Because a lot of times I'll circle back like a day later or a couple days later, and I've just released any pressure on myself to get back to people just for the sake of getting back to them. Like, I would way rather respond thoughtfully five days from now than respond out of pressure in five minutes and not like actually be able to think about what I'm saying. Number six is a huge one. I want for you to think about this lead with a no and then be convinced to a yes. And now this might sound cynical and sometimes, especially early in business, your default might need to be a yes. I want to acknowledge that, like, as you're building and growing, it's probably, you know, an opportune time to say more yeses. But as you gain experience and more opportunities come your way. The shift from always saying yes to it's not until I'm convinced it's a yes can be really hard. And for me, it took me hitting burnout to really understand this. These days, for me, I say no to almost any ask outside of my own brand or work and I start with a no and just preface it and say, you know, I've got to focus on my family and these are my values right now. And me saying no has nothing to do with you and your offer. It just means that I'm focusing on what I say is most important. So for many, many years, I said no to pretty much every speaking engagement, brand partnerships. Like, I've shifted my business over and over again to protect my best yeses based on my bandwidth in each season. And so it's really interesting because when I start with no, it's so different than when I default to yes and then feel like I have to back out of something that's like so much harder in the end. So if I start with a, this is probably not going to work for me, but maybe share a little bit more and we'll see if it's a fit. It just feels a lot different inside. Note when I tell somebody no. I actually have created a bumper for this boundary and I made a template and I use it. It is so well thought out and intentional. I had to write it one time because I know that like I'm a yes person. I am really prone to over committing because I want to make everyone happy. And so my template essentially says something like this. It says like, in this busy season where I have to choose between family and amazing opportunities like yours, I have to protect my best yeses for my family. Know that in me declining your request, this is nothing other than a way for me to live into my values. This has nothing to do with you or your opportunity. I'm so excited to watch you soar and I know our paths will cross in the future. Best wishes and keep me posted on how it goes. And what's really cool is that the more that I do this and use this boundary, the more that people come back and they're like, oh my gosh, this actually didn't feel bad receiving it and this encourages me to deploy something similar. So maybe you need to create your own version of a template that you can tweak and personalize so that you can thoughtfully and respectfully decline while honoring your best yeses. The things that you say are most important to and one other thing that has Been really helpful for me. I only read like one mothering book and it was Bringing up Baby. And there's this part in the book about lay pause, which basically just talks about when you put a baby down and you see them kind of rustling around, a lot of times they're in active sleep. And a mother's tendency, especially when you're sleep deprived, is to just scoop them up. But a lot of times we're waking our kids up. And so in the book it talks about this idea of la pause, which means. Means just watch and wait and pause for like two minutes before you take any action. And I feel like this idea has translated into my business where it's like when I get an invitation, I take a beat. Whether it's five minutes or an hour or wait till the end of the day or the end of the week, I just pause and check in with myself. What is my. Why is this aligned? How does this feel? How will it feel when the time comes to honor this commitment? And in doing that, it's been really powerful. So maybe you need a little lay pause in your life. Life number seven is no work on the weekends. And this is one that I've been really good at. Like, I'm actually very proud of myself. Even during the busiest of seasons, I have learned to crave this resting and recharging time. And I truly reserve the weekends for family. I'm even hoping to transition to a four day work week. Get something in progress right now alongside some of my team members. A lot of my team transitioned to a four day work week or kind of creating that extra day of boundary. And after coming out of the book launch, I was like, this is something that I do want to deploy specifically during the summer months when the kids are home, Coco's not in school. But I really have learned that, like, I can do more in less time when I'm focused and clear on what needs to get done. And I'm also a better mom and worker and boss and all the things when I protect my weekends and my time away from work. And so that's just been something that's been really powerful and something that having that like boundary really helps me show up in all the places in a better way. Number eight is a boundary around what I am consuming. Like, I pay very close attention to what I'm consuming. Like, think about it like this. The other day I had a really bad headache. And have you ever tried to troubleshoot a headache? Like, headache comes on and you're like, did I drink enough water? Do I need caffeine? Is my bra too tight? Am I clenching my jaw? The same thing can go for your mental state. Sometimes, like whenever I start feeling negative or stressed or restless, I take this inventory of what I'm consuming all around me, whether it's TV shows or books or social media or even conversations I'm having with other people. And sometimes I'll almost like reverse engineer the feeling of, like, where did this feeling come from? Can I troubleshoot this? Sometimes bad moods just come out of nowhere or from unseen things like hormones. But other times it can be an effect of our environment. And so there should be a boundary in your life and you should be ruthless with that about who and what you allow into your life and how you allow it to influence you, because it does have an effect on your mood and your outlook and it can really impact how you show up and how you move towards your dreams. So for me, I actually set screen limits that go off for Instagram. It's really short. I think I set like a 30 minute screen limit and that means I basically have enough time to get on, to create content, to scroll, engage, respond to comments and dms and then get off. And even when I override that limit, every single time I click on the app, it's a reminder to me that I've already used up that time. And so maybe screen limits are something that you should implement to help you with a boundary around your consumption. If it's something you struggle with, with. Number nine is planning in advance and communicating my plans. Okay, can I be honest with you? This whole planning and communicating thing is new for me. I'm used to doing what I can, when I can, and communicating my plans or making plans really last minute when I see a great opportunity and just going with a flow. I used to be somebody who wanted to make every decision spur of the moment in terms of like. Like when I would record or what things would look like or when I need to show up to something. Like if somebody invited me to a coffee date, I would be like, let me just see how I'm feeling that day. Because I was like very afraid of committing to something. And then the day came and I didn't want to do it. I don't know if anyone can relate to that. That was how I was. But in this season of life, having a toddler and a baby and a busy business and a book and all these things, like, I feel like because I am juggling so much, I've had to get really good at setting a schedule and Then sharing it with those people involved. It was so funny. I was talking to a team member today, and she was like, hey, can we jump on the phone? She's like, I'm so sorry. I know you hate phone calls. And I was like, honestly, I kind of like them again. Like, I have totally changed my work style. And I think going through the book launch and having to do so many interviews and kind of show up in a different way and having different energy because of all the things I've been focused on with my health, like. Like, I actually don't mind these busy days, and they just look different. And so it might look different for you, but for me moving forward, what my plan is is, like, I'm going to choose two days a month to record the podcast, and then I'm going to plan accordingly, and I'm going to loop in Drew or my mom or things like that on when I need support. Like, here are the days. These are blocked off. I cannot help that day. So we've got to figure something out. And because my schedule is more rigid these days, I have to figure out ways to structure things so that I can get done when I need to get done, but also get the right support. And in order to do that, I have to plan in advance and I have to communicate those plans. And so lately, I've been sending Drew, like, a weekly iPhone note that has my exact schedule, or sharing my Google calendar with my team, things like that, because I want to figure out, here's when I'm working, here's what I'm not working, and kind of protect my peace on both ends of that spectrum.
- [29:14]
B
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- [30:17]
A
Shopify.com gold digger number 10 is a big one. Making my to do list before the End of the Day now this one I learned from Marie Forleo's program Time Genius. And it is, is literally genius. But I love this. She taught inside of her program that you need to make your to do list before the end of the day hits. Because a lot of the times we'll wait. And then at the very end of your day, when you're frazzled or when you're winding down, or when you're feeling mad that you didn't get done as much as you thought you would, you try to make your to do list. And so her recommendation is to make your to do list at like 2pm the day prior. Like, you kind of know what you're going to get done in the next few hours. And what I love about this is I've set a reminder in my phone Monday through Friday, and so it goes off around 2:00, and that's usually when I'm kind of back from lunch in a flow state. I know where I'm going to end up for the day, and that way I can be realistic about what I'm going to accomplish. And then I know I have a plan for tomorrow. It allows me to kind of shut my brain off a little bit easier because I know I'm not going into tomorrow wondering, okay, what do I need to do again? Where was I at? And so having that plan kind of starts the decompression necessary to shut my brain off and to switch it into mom mode. And so making my to do list before the end of the day, before I'm frantic, before I'm frazzled, and also just so I maximize the time that I do have working, whether it's finishing out that day or diving into the next. Number 11 is being intentional around how I talk to Drew about my work. Work. Okay, hear me out. This is a good boundary. I've talked about this a little bit before, but I make sure that when I finish up my day, I just give them a quick rundown. And I once heard this advice where it was like, once somebody comes back home from work, or once you reconnect with someone after you've been busy for the day, do five minutes of uninterrupted conversation and then start to enjoy your time together. Not that you're not enjoying it while you're in conversation, but what I mean by that is is a focused, quick recap. And here's the thing. He does not need to know everything about the minutia of my day to day business. He doesn't want to talk about work very long, but I want him to be in the know. I want him to understand. I don't want anything to be a surprise. I want him to encourage it. And so what's been really nice is like doing a quick, here's what I did today. Tell me about your day, show me pictures of the kids or what you guys did. Let's get caught up to speed and then let's get back into life. It's just been really nice. And for us, he's not very involved in the business. In fact, he's not really involved in the business at all. And so keeping things more separate has been helpful for us. And so we're kind of more on this need to know basis or like excited to share basis. And so we talk about the work, what's going on, what I'm working on, what I'm prioritizing, what I'm excited about. He tells me about his day, his work, and then we just get back to life. Life. And so that's been really special. Number 12 is this. Remember the 218 unread text messages? Well, number 12 is protecting my phone number. And I say this from a place of just be thoughtful at what lines of communication you open to people. And I feel like nobody in our life needs another endless text conversation or a message asking you for something where you feel like you're dreading opening it because you don't want them to see that you read it. And I love like, I love connecting with my friends, I love sending voice memos, I love phone calls, I love all of that. But I have learned that I have to protect what lines of communication I open up to people and how I do that. And so now if somebody asks for my number and I know it's only going to be about work stuff, I actually try to redirect my inbox to keep my phone more minimal. And I honestly just say like, like I don't really use my phone to work. So if it has to do with work stuff, here is my email. Like this weekend somebody texted me about work stuff on like a Saturday evening. And I read it and I kind of got frustrated because I was like, it's Saturday, I'm with my family. And like this could be an email. And so it just is a good reminder of like, if you're only having work Relationships, try to protect your number and protect the lines of communication that allow you best. Because I actually respond better when things come through my inbox, when I'm sitting at my computer, when I'm more intentionally working. And so if people ask for my phone number, I try to just redirect to places that I know I'll be able to respond in a more thoughtful, present way and also on my own timetable, if that makes sense. And the other nice thing about that is, like with your inbox, like you can keep tabs on things, or you can assign them out or forward them to other people or have a receipt of the conversation. And so it really helps me to stay more in life mode and to keep my phone again, not this thing that I dread or this thing that I hate thinking about work with. And it helps me keep life separate. And so just protecting my phone number and kind of thinking about the best line of communication based off of the request, the person, the job, or the relationship. Okay, so in closing, I know that was a lot, but I hope this was helpful. I hope this just helps you explore, like what boundaries do I have and where do I need more and where am I struggling or starting to feel burnt out? In my book, I say this. Boundaries protect yourself from staying in constant motion. Because that's when we stay so busy and distracted that we stop listening to our souls, checking in with our bodies, or hearing our intuition. Once I finally understood where my yes belonged and where boundaries were needed, I became obsessed with operating out of my enoughness, which in turn freed up my greatness. Those boundaries didn't hold me back like I was afraid they would. They didn't contract anything. They expanded everything. As my schedule widened, my life opened up to something far beyond work. Now, it's funny, because reviewing this list goes to show how small tweaks can end up making a drastic difference. Like moving your phone to another room or saying no by default or adopting lay pause into your life. These aren't enormous, time consuming, draining changes, but they're little things that might not feel feel easy or comfortable at first to uphold, but end up saving you so much time and energy. In the long run, boundaries can be the catalyst for reaching more fulfillment, more ease, more joy in your work life, relationships and beyond. And it's all about discovering and defining what you need and then making sure that you have a plan to follow through. You put up the bumpers in your own life now. I hope you got some ideas today for small boundaries you might be able to implement in your life to better protect protect your piece. And of course, until next time, gold diggers, keep on digging your biggest goals.
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Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to gold diggerpodcast.com for today's show notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more. And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time, gold Diggers.