851: How to Take Back Control of Your Life, Career and Future

Summary

Episode Title: How to Take Back Control of Your Life, Career and Future
Podcast: The Goal Digger Podcast
Host: Jenna Kutcher
Guest: Maha Abu Elinayn
Release Date: February 10, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 851 of The Goal Digger Podcast, Jenna Kutcher welcomes Maha Abu Elinayn, an esteemed expert in branding and communications with over three decades of experience. Maha, a USA Today and Amazon best-selling author of The Seven Rules of Self Reliance, shares her profound insights on building a personal brand, cultivating self-reliance, and taking proactive control of one's career and future.

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Redefining Personal Branding

Key Discussion Points:

• Authenticity Over Personas: Maha emphasizes that a personal brand should reflect one's true self rather than a fabricated persona. Authenticity fosters genuine connections and long-term relationships.
• Reputation as Brand: She defines a personal brand as one's reputation, stressing the importance of being clear and consistent about who you are and what you stand for.

Notable Quote:

"The biggest mistake people make when trying to build a personal brand is they think it's about creating a persona or that they need to create somebody who they are not. [05:33]"

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The Power of Consistency

Key Discussion Points:

• Habit Formation: Maha discusses the significance of developing small, consistent habits that contribute to long-term success. She shares her strategy of dedicating specific days for planning and strategizing.
• Staying Focused: Consistency in actions and messaging builds trust and reliability, essential components of a strong personal brand.

Notable Quote:

"The loudest in the room and the flashiest in the room isn't who wins. [07:44] You just need to be clear and consistent."

"Small things become the big things. If you want to be consistent in building your personal brand, don't think about boiling the ocean. [09:12]"

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Combating Instant Gratification

Key Discussion Points:

• Long-Term Vision: Maha contrasts the fleeting nature of instant gratification with the enduring benefits of long-term relationship building and personal development.
• Patience and Hard Work: Emphasizing that nothing worthwhile comes quickly, she shares her personal journey of taking a humble role that ultimately paved the way for significant career advancements.

Notable Quote:

"Nothing good comes easy that comes fast. If it comes fast, it's going to go fast. [14:34]"

"Investment in relationships always pays off. It's a game changer for not thinking short term. [16:53]"

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Creating Opportunities vs. Waiting

Key Discussion Points:

• Proactive Approach: Maha encourages listeners to create their own opportunities instead of waiting for them to materialize, highlighting the importance of self-belief and initiative.
• Overcoming Fear: She addresses common fears such as fear of failure and judgment, advocating for taking risks to achieve one's goals.

Notable Quote:

"If you're waiting for opportunities and discovering that, huh. I might be just waiting because I don't want to bet on myself. [20:10]"

"You need to figure out every action you take is building towards something bigger. [27:00]"

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Embracing Reinvention and Adaptability

Key Discussion Points:

• Continuous Learning: Maha underscores the necessity of staying curious and continuously learning to remain relevant in a rapidly changing world.
• Flexibility in Career Paths: She highlights that reinvention is not limited by age or current career status, drawing parallels to upgrading a phone to upgrading oneself.

Notable Quote:

"Why wouldn't you want to upgrade yourself every year? [29:26]"

"Staying adaptable is key to staying competitive in today's market. [31:03]"

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Defining Self-Reliance

Key Discussion Points:

• Betting on Yourself: Maha redefines self-reliance as the ability to depend on oneself to build relationships, reputation, and career, rather than solely relying on external factors.
• Owning Your Future: She shares personal anecdotes about overcoming challenges and emphasizes the importance of taking charge of one's narrative.

Notable Quote:

"Self-reliance is about owning your future by really betting on yourself. [36:33]"

"I have to rely on myself to figure out my purpose in life. [37:55]"

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Practical Advice for Building a Personal Brand

Key Discussion Points:

• Intentional Relationship Building: Maha advises focusing on building meaningful relationships rather than amassing superficial connections.
• Learning vs. Earning: She introduces the concept of prioritizing learning opportunities over immediate financial gains to foster long-term growth and success.
• Tailored Strategies for Introverts: Maha offers specific strategies for introverts to effectively network and build relationships without feeling overwhelmed.

Notable Quote:

"If you're going to go to an event and you're introverted, take somebody with you. [44:36]"

"Think about learning versus earning. [48:58]"

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with Maha summarizing her book, The Seven Rules of Self Reliance, and reiterating the importance of authenticity, consistency, proactive relationship building, and continuous learning. Jenna Kutcher and Maha leave listeners with actionable insights to take control of their personal and professional lives, encouraging them to invest in relationships, embrace change, and prioritize long-term growth over immediate rewards.

Final Thought:

"Knowledge compounds. When you learn something, you can reap the rewards of utilizing that knowledge for the end of time. [49:30]"

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Connect with Maha Abu Elinayn

• Instagram: @MahaAbuElinayn
• LinkedIn: Maha Abu Elinayn
• Newsletter: Subscribe on her personal website
• Book: The Seven Rules of Self Reliance - Available on Amazon and other major bookstores

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This episode provides a comprehensive guide for entrepreneurs and professionals seeking to redefine their success, build a resilient personal brand, and cultivate self-reliance to achieve lasting fulfillment in their careers and lives.

Transcript

[Jenna Kutcher]

Your smartest New Year's resolution is calling your [e-mail] forward slash email. After years of growing and serving my email list and transforming it into the number one profit driver in my business, I am handing over my best strategies so that you can do the same. Because the truth is you can't build a business on platforms you don't own or don't control. Because when algorithms run the show, you're not exactly calling the shots. That's why building an asset that you own and can rely on will be the best thing you do in 2025. Let me help you get started with my signature program, the List to Launch Lab that is open and ready to welcome new students right [e-mail] email it is high time that you have a direct line to that ideal client audience that you long to serve and sell to. Don't wait on this. This exclusive offer is ending soon. Head to jennacutcher.com email now to get my exact system and blueprint for growing and monetizing your very own email list on your terms and driven by your unique goals for your business. That's jennacutcher.com forward/email I hope to see you inside.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

You know, putting deposits in other people's trust bank and I believe it. I live it. It's something I teach in a lot of the people that I work with and in my clients and in my book. I feel like it's a game changer for not thinking short term. You'd be surprised how much you can get back.

[Jenna Kutcher]

I'm Jenna Kutcher, host of the Goal Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a $300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks. All from my house in small town Minnesota. With my family here, we value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love. I've always loved turning big goals into reality and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical no fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged. Inspired and empowered. This is the Goal Digger podcast. Have you ever thought about what your reputation is really worth? In today's fast paced, hyper connected world, your personal brand can be the difference between doors opening or doors staying shut. But here's the thing. Building a standout personal brand isn't just about Instagram followers or flashy logos. It's about strategy, substance and self reliance. My guest today, Maha Abu Elinayn, knows this better than anyone. With over three decades of experience leading communications for tech giants like Google and Netflix, as well as navigating high stakes IPOs and global campaigns, Maha is a master at branding and personal brands. She's worked with startups, governments and some of the world's top CEOs to create strategies that don't just get attention, they build legacies. What I love most about Maha's story is how she's combined a deep commitment to self reliance with her passion for helping others. Born to Egyptian parents and raised in the us, Maha's career has been a masterclass in bridging cultures and industries. She's been named one of the most influential women in Dubai, a Forbes Power Woman of the Middle east, and now she's stepping into the spotlight with her USA Today and Amazon best selling book, the Seven Rules of Self Reliance. Today we'll talk about how to cultivate a reputation that opens doors, the mindset shifts needed to stay relevant in a fast changing world, and why Self reliance isn't just a buzzword, it's the key to long term success. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to stand out or someone ready to take control of your career, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help you thrive. And promise me you'll stay till the end because she says something that I truly think is life changing. Maha, welcome to the Goal Digger podcast. Hey marketers, quick question. When was the last time you actually enjoyed marketing? If you're feeling overwhelmed juggling content creation, lead generation, campaign tracking and analytics, let me introduce you to a game changer, HubSpot. HubSpot combines the power of marketing hub and content hub and it's all enhanced by Breeze, their built in AI. Imagine taking just one piece of content and instantly remixing it for every channel. Imagine identifying your best leads with AI powered scoring and having crystal clear analytics that simplify your reporting. HubSpot makes it easy to double your leads in just 12 months. We're talking about 192% boost in web traffic, 46% more deals closed and 31% more deals created all in one platform. Stop spreading yourself thin and start seeing big results. Visit HubSpot.com forward/ marketers to get started for free. With HubSpot, you can reconnect with what you love most about marketing. Being creative, building relationships, and most importantly, seeing results. That's HubSpot.com forward/ marketers.

[Unknown]

Okay, Maha, I want to get real right out of the gate. So what is the biggest mistake that people make when trying to build a personal brand? And why do you think so many people get this wrong?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Gosh, I love talking about this subject because it rubs people the wrong way. Because I feel like if you think of personal brand as reputation, it's the immediate mind shift. I think people. People need. The biggest mistake people make when trying to build a personal brand is they think it's about creating a Persona or that they need to create somebody who they are not. And they just need to be themselves. They just need to be authentic. Too often they think that they're trying to perform or put on a show, like, some way to be liked. And what really matters is authenticity, because authenticity is what resonates. Like, I like being able to see you at home in your kitchen with your family. Like, I want to see the real Jenna. I don't want a figure of Jenna. Right? Because if you're trying to be everything to everyone, you end up being nothing to nobody. And I feel like forget about the aesthetics, Forget about the catchy slogans. Really think about putting the trends away. How do you really share your story? How do you really share what you care about in your values? And I think that's the biggest mistake people make is they try to create versus just living their lives and showing people who they really are, the good, the bad, and the ugly, or the struggles or the failures. And that really, that that's where you build the connection, is when you don't try to be perfect, you just try to be yourself and then do that consistently.

[Unknown]

Okay, this is so good already. I love this so much because it's really interesting. People will reach out to me and be like, if I had your platform, I would be talking about X, Y and Z. And I'm like, you don't get a platform and then get to talk about it. You start talking about it now and your platform will grow. And I feel like it's interesting because people do look at this brand idea as a Persona. And I think, man, you are going to be so out of alignment if you have a brand separate from yourself and if your brand doesn't allow you to evolve as a person. And so I Love that. I mean, you are someone who has worked with some of the biggest brands and leaders in the world. And so what are some of the most surprising lessons that you've learned about what it takes to stand out, especially in such a noisy world that we find ourselves in?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I think the most surprising lesson I've learned for people that I've been working with and through my career is the loudest in the room and the flashiest in the room isn't who wins. Right. You just need to be clear and consistent. The biggest thing I always talk about a whole career in communications is how can you be clear and consistent on who you are and what you stand for? The way you show up consistently is what I think has led me to work with a lot of these people. As I see, that's what they do. They show up consistency. They're clear about who they are. They don't try to just be flashy and be loud and try to get attention grabbing. The work comes, and this is one of the themes of my book, is stay low and keep moving. Like, how do you just put your head down, stay focused, stay consistent of what are your strengths, what are your values, what do you care about? And just tell stories around that.

[Unknown]

Yes. Okay, let's go deeper on consistency because I honestly think this is one of the most underrated ways to find success and to actually grow. And I feel like people love, like fast hacks and, you know, different tactics and things like that. But at the end of the day, you have to be willing to show up and consistently put in the reps. So a lot of people listening to this struggle with consistency. What are some of the things that you've seen, maybe behind the scenes or in your own life that have allowed you to be more consistent or to kind of build that muscle? Because I think a lot of women struggle with it.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah, I mean, I always say the small things become the big things. So if you want to be consistent in something, this is what I do and it works for me and it's what I talk about a lot. You have to develop a habit of looking at how you spend your time. So looking at your schedule, how much time do you spend doing certain activities? You're not going to be consistent if you don't carve out that time. So I started thinking about, okay, I need to have a day where I can think and plan and strategize and come up with ideas, because I'm like an ideas person. So, like, no meeting Wednesdays for me allows me to be consistent. So I have a consistent time in my schedule every single week where I can think about what stories I want to tell, what context do I want to build, what relationships do I want to nurture? So creating habits is. One second is looking at your schedule. How can you be consistent if you're constantly all over the place? Right? Is it Tuesday nights, is it Sunday mornings? What is the thing I'm going to do? And I'm going to start with 15 minutes, and I'm going to do 15 minutes every single week, and then I'm going to try to do it twice a week, and then I'm going to try to increase that time. That's how you build the habits. And that's why I always say that the small things become the big things. Do you want to be consistent in building your personal brand? Don't think about boiling the ocean. Think about, okay, how do I want to show up? I want to do videos, I want to do a podcast. I want to write. Is it taking a post it? Writing a post it note and writing a note and posting that. Is that going to be your thing? Is it when you're on your walk, on your treadmill, are you going to talk about your thought of the day? Don't overthink it, but try to find something that you can do consistently, regularly. If it's once a week, that's consistent. If it's twice a week, that's consistent. But start small and build that habit. It's like a muscle. It's like, you know, getting. You know, I just got a treadmill recently at home, and I'm like. Because I wasn't moving enough, I wasn't walking enough. Right. And now I'm like, okay, 30 minutes every morning before I start my day, I'm going to start the habit of trying to walk now. I got the vest on. Now I'm doing some of the classes. I know, I see you have a vest, too. Like, I'm a big. But I feel like if I'm going to be consistent in getting more steps, I got to show up for myself. And yeah, it's hard work. It is. There's no shortcuts in anything. But if you want to build a personal brand in how you show up in the world, the time to start was yesterday. Right. You want to think about where you're going to be a year from now. Make those small steps and habits today.

[Unknown]

Yes. You know, I think it's so interesting because when you actually dissect a lot of, like, the most amazing leaders work or like the thought leaders of our generation. These are people who were showing up when nobody was listening. There are people who were showing up when people didn't believe them or didn't understand it. Right. And they just kept showing up. And I feel like our society has gotten so like overnight. Microwave. Like, you know, Amazon Prime.

[Jenna Kutcher]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Like everyone wants big titles, big money, you know, fast. We live in it.

[Unknown]

And it's like, do the work. Like, people don't realize this. Like, when I started my business 13 years ago, I blogged every single day, Monday through Friday for years straight. And like nobody read it, right? Like my mom read it. There's probably 30 readers. And it's like just building up those consistency muscles. One shows you that you are somebody who's capable of following through and following up on your commitments, which I think a lot of us struggle with. But it's just, it's so interesting because I think people want that overnight success. So how do we combat that in this world that has become so immediate gratification when we know what it really takes to build something big.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah, I mean, I believe in being a long term player. Right. We have that instant gratification where we want to tap to pay and get out or we really want to download the whole season now. Like, I think transactions, it's a different mentality than thinking about relationships. And I think like, to get out of that, I always ask myself, what's the value I'm bringing to a relationship? Or what's the value in me trying to speed it up and do it quickly? Like, there's lessons in how you fail, there's experience in how you fail. And I feel like even for me, in the course of my career, like I grew up in Minnesota, born and raised here. I ended up moving to Egypt when I'm 27, can't find a job. I end up getting offered to be a secretary for a billionaire. And I was like, this isn't what I came here to do. Like, I feel like I can do more. I need to be achieving 1, 2 and 3 at this stage in my life. And you know what? I took a nice piece of humble pie. I accepted that job and I started putting in the effort and the hard work. And that was a very pivotal decision in my life that changed my life forever because I decided to do a secretary role at 27 with a master's degree. With all this experience, I thought I was overqualified. I learned how to bring like to myself, like how to bring value to others and how to put in the Hard work and you have to be patient. You can't get everything you want when you want it and what. And doing that and taking those small steps and just trying to prove it to myself and to others that I could do more gave me incredible learning experience and opportunities. And it changed how I move forward in my whole career in the Middle east based on that. And so I feel like for people who are wanting that instant gratification, take a pause. Nothing good comes easy that comes fast. If it comes fast, it's going to go fast.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Think about long term relationships and people in your life. You don't want people who are hit and run, who are in your life because they want something. Friendships are not just friending and unfriending on social media. You need to nurture those relationships and check on them and show up for them and bring value to them and connect them to others. And ask this question that I love, which is, how can I help? I always meet somebody, I'm like, what? I want to know what they care about. So I ask them, how can I help? And then I find out what are their pain points or their ambitions or goals or objectives? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to see if I can introduce them to someone or send them an article about that. Don't think about instant gratification. Think about long term relationships, long term goals, long term results. It's a mindset that people just need to wrap their head around. And it's worked for me for 30 years. And I really believe that your relationships and how you treat people and putting deposits in other people's trust banks is what will give you back tenfold 10x than any instant gratification move would ever do.

[Unknown]

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Okay, I have an embarrassing confession, but Drew and I watched this TV show called MTV the Challenge. And it's like, okay. But anyways, they just had this season and at the end of the season, they had karma votes where they got to, like, place karma on their competitors. Oh, wow. It was amazing because it showed, like, certain players who were just kind and supportive and there for other people ended up winning because of their karma votes. And it was such a beautiful and weird, weird illustration of this world that has become so, like, what's in it for me versus how can I help? And it's just such a beautiful reminder of, like, when you are in service of other people, it will come around. Like, it will 100% come back to you in ways that you can't even see or fathom. And I just think it's such a much more rich experience also. Right.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Always does, Jenna. It always pays off.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Hard work always pays off. And investing in relationships always pays off. So you know, they always talk about, like, when you're young, do compound investing, like save $100 a month. By the time you're 50, you'll have all this money. Same thing goes with relationships.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

You know, when you're in college or when you're a young entrepreneur, you're working in a new role, build relationships with people. You don't know where these people are going to end up. 10, 15, 20 years down the line. They might be a client, an investor. So invest in relationships, invest in people. Like, I heard something. Someone told this to me a long time ago. Be careful who you step on on your way up the ladder because you will see them on the way back down. Easy to rise, easy to fall. And that's just how life works. It's about long term relationships, long term, you know, putting deposits in other people's trust bank. And I believe it. I live it. It's something I teach in a lot of the people that I work with and in my clients and in my book. I feel like it's a game changer for not thinking short term. You'd be surprised how much you can get back.

[Jenna Kutcher]

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[Unknown]

Oh my gosh. So much. So. One of the things that I love about your work is you talk a lot about creating opportunities and not waiting for them. And I feel like we have a few different camps of people, but there are definitely people listening to this show who are just waiting for the right moment, the right opportunity, the right invitation to fall into their lap. And so what does it look like to create opportunities? And like, how can people kind of start to see the spaces in their lives where they can be creating opportunities for them instead of just waiting?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah, so the story of this is don't be a waiter is a sense, I always say, because someone said that to me. They said, I'm waiting. I'm waiting for Mr. Right. I'm waiting to lose ten pounds. I'm waiting until my boss gives me that project that's gonna make me a rock star. And I was really angry when I went home that night. Cause I'm like, you know what? Dang it, he's right. I am waiting. I'm waiting because I fear failure. I'm waiting because I don't want people to judge me and say, who does she think she is? Or I'm waiting because I want to wait till I get enough money in the bank account before I take on this new project or this new side hustle or venture and for those that who have read my book, I do talk a lot about this, who have said, oh my God, I am a waiter. And it's about thinking about and it's not worrying about what other people are expecting of you or other people want for you. You really need to say to yourself, what are the things I want to create in my life? And I want to create these opportunities, but I don't have the skills. Well, Maha, then I need to reverse engineer and figure out how I can get those skills. Or I want to create this opportunity for myself, but I don't have the experience yet. Well, then I need to, like, reverse engineer. What are the steps I need to take to start getting that experience? Right? So when you're thinking about waiting for opportunities and discovering that, huh? I might be just waiting because I don't want to bet on myself. My message to you is, you only have yourself. There's only you who can drive your ambitions. No one's waking up every day thinking, oh, I'm going to put Jen on the top of my prayer list and think about her career every single minute of the day. You need to do that, right? So you need to figure out every action you take, every connection you make is building towards something bigger. And if you're waiting because you think that you don't have what it takes, you know, is that related to the negative self talk you're saying to yourself? Or what are the things you think? Okay, I know I'm waiting. Let me just try to write it down and identify it. Because once you identify it, then you're able to, like, break it down and figure out how to take it forward. But so many people that I've talked to that say they're waiting, it's mostly because they fear what other people think, other people's judgment. And isn't that a terrible way to live? Like my story, I was like, I've been in communications for 30 years, doing this, working for clients that work with me privately. My team is like, you should start making video and talking about it. I'm like, I'm not that girl. I'm not going to be that girl that's making those videos talking about how to communicate better. Then I thought, well, wait a second, I don't do it because I don't want people to judge me and say, oh, look at that video. Look at her hair. What does she wear? Like? And then I was like, but I have a message. I have a purpose, I have a skill. I can actually help other people if I can Teach them how to communicate better, then they'll be able to get more customers or more clients or sell their products or increase their economic, you know, stability. Then maybe I need to, like, put aside my fears and my fear of judgment and my fear of failure and try it. So I started with the podcast, and then I started creating content. I just want everyone listening to know. Like, I went through that, too, and now I have a lot of confidence doing it, because I have a mission, I have a story, I have a purpose. And I don't care what people think. I don't care if my hair doesn't look good or if I don't, because I believe that I'm just being me. I don't care that the dogs might be barking during the show, because that's just how it is. That's life. And I think one thing I loved about COVID was you got to see these anchors who are always, like, perfectly quaffed and polished, like, in your kitchen with the cat running through. And, you know, that's just. It made us connect with them, made us, you know, relate to them in ways that I felt was very authentic. And I feel like that's what people want. People want to see me with my hair in a ponytail, you know, taking the dogs out. Like, I feel like that's who I am. Plus, I'm also a leader who advises some of the biggest names in the world on how to build their brands. Like, I feel like that's what people need to not be waiting for. I went through it myself, and that's why I share that story. So that you say, hey, I'm going to take one step this week.

[Unknown]

Yes. You know, it's so interesting because I think so many people wait, and I think what's a shame is that women are often waiting for things to look a certain way and not to be a certain way or feel a certain way. And so it's so interesting to me because it's like, are we really that focused on what something looks like? And I would argue exactly what you were just saying of, like, how it almost leveled the playing field of, like, oh, my gosh, everyone has cat food in their house if they have a cat, or their children are running around with their pajamas still on. And I feel like that is the most authentic.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And it's like, oh, if they can do it, this actually makes it feel way more attainable than seeing that perfect, polished version.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So it's just so interesting because I think a lot of times we wait on things to look A certain way, when really, if we just focused on how we want people to feel, it would change how we show up and, like, what we think about, the things that we're most worried about. Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

And I also think, too, like, if for women, sometimes that imposter syndrome sinks in of, like, I don't think I should be doing it. I don't think I'm good enough. Like, other people would just, like, full throttle, go out and do it and not think twice about it. And I just feel like, if not you, who? And if not now, when? Like, I really believe, like, you can spend your life waiting for opportunities and sit on the sidelines, but, like, we are only on this planet once. We only get one life. We only get one shot at this. And I. I always think about not wanting to have regret of, like, oh, I wish I would have tried that. Like, I wish I would have. Like, I had the nerve to do that. And I think that's why people get in waiting mode, is they're like, I always think of the opposite. Like, oh, I don't want to have regret that I never tried it.

[Jenna Kutcher]

It.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I always wanted to do this. I always wanted. Well, then why aren't I doing it? If it's something I really care about, why am I actually not doing it? Is it because I don't have the means? Or I just don't have. I don't trust my gut and my intuition, because once I do, I actually know what I'm doing, and I can get that confidence. And the biggest thing that lets a lot of people not take action is they don't have confidence. Well, the only way to get that confidence is to take that action. Yep.

[Unknown]

Yep. Amen.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

That's what I. I mean, that's what I learned. I was like, oh, I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna wait until everything's perfect. Nothing's ever perfect.

[Unknown]

No. And you know what? No dude is waiting for themselves to lose 10 pounds or to have no wrinkles or to have 100%. Like, I often think about, like, no shade because I love my male peers and there are some good ones out there. But, like, I often think about, like, what women are juggling on top of careers, and also that, like, no dudes are worried about this stuff. And so it's like, if we can unpack the patriarchy a little bit and just show up a little bit more, I feel like we will all benefit from it. And I feel like when we really unpack some of it, maybe this is going too deep. But I just think that a lot of these messages that we've been fed are to keep us quiet. And so it's like, man, maybe just ask yourself, is a dude concerned about this? If the answer is no, let's go for it, ladies. Let's go.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah. Just stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take one step forward, no matter how small, because you get that trust from making progress, just getting your feet under the ground, and knowing if I just show up and do the work, that's showing up and doing the work. And momentum, usually that you're looking for is on the other side of action. I'm like, okay, I just need to try the. The treadmill. Like, okay, I'm going to just do it once, and then I'll do it twice. And then you start to develop that habit of, like, I don't need to wait for a reminder. I know what, this is good for me. I should. I should try to just be.

[Unknown]

Yeah. One thing I often think about to Maha is like. Like, people should Google early videos or things from people they admire and go and say those, like, early. Awkward. I was relistening to one of the first episodes of my podcast. I sounded like a California Valley girl. Like, I don't know where that voice came from, but I showed up. Right. And I think sometimes we're so used to seeing where people are at now that we forget where they started. And so it's just such a reminder. Which brings me to my next question, which is something I love that you talk about, which is just, you are a huge advocate for reinvention and staying adaptable. And I think a lot of times when people think about the topic of branding or building a personal brand, it can almost feel like they're putting themselves into a box. And you kind of approach this in a very different way. So let's talk about this idea of, like, having the ability to change and that you're not just one person or one thing.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah. I mean, you think about it. You upgrade your phone every year. Why wouldn't you want to upgrade yourself every year? Right. I'm 55 years old. I could quit my job today and start a completely different career because I have access to the Internet.

[Jenna Kutcher]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I can learn things for free. Podcasts are for free. YouTube is for free. And so I always feel like retirement. I just did a post about this. Like, retirement doesn't mean that you are. Your life is over. That's actually when you have experience and you have knowledge and you have relationships, and you may have a bank account.

[Unknown]

Like, now you have time now.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

You have the time to start focusing on your passions, your purpose, taking all that experience. So I always talk about this reinvention because you have access to learn new things and you should be, you know, learning all the time. New things that are, are happening in the world and what you can take advantage of or things that you're curious about. Like, I, I missed a class making these cozy, chunky blankets. My sister and I were gonna go do this and I missed it and I was so mad and I might and cause I had a conflict. And then I really wanted to learn something new. Like, I'm like, I, I need to learn new things. Whether it's taking online classes or podcasts or learning to do something with my hands, because I want to stay adaptable. I want to know, like, how to be agile and learning new things that I would like. Oh, I don't think I can do that. I don't say that anymore. Yeah, like, I always think about the way that you can stay adaptable is, is by being around people who you are inspired by or that you can learn from. You don't necessarily need to learn from books and podcasts and YouTube videos. You can learn from people. And that's also for free.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

And I always think about, like, we have to redefine what we think of our stages in our lives. Like, we might love our jobs and be there every day, full heartedly. Love it. But we also have nights and weekends that, are we spending every night watching TV shows or could we spend one night learning something new, playing pickleball or learning how to play a keyboard or reading a really good book that you just want to immerse yourself in. And I feel like that's the key to staying competitive in today's market is you got to be adaptable, you have to be agile. And we don't just compete. I don't just compete or my colleagues don't compete with people in Minnesota because people have access to Internet. I have competition from different markets, different people. Talent is remote and is hybrid. So you really need to figure out how to stay unstuck and how to stay relevant. And by the way, it's most exciting time we've ever had to be alive.

[Unknown]

Let's talk about it. I think people are terrified.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

No, I feel like we can see how do the best athletes do their morning routines or how do CEOs do it. And like, what's one thing I might want to adopt? Like, we are going to live longer, Jenna, because we have access to technology and you know, everyone's cold, plunging and saunaing and thinking about their, you know, protein and their supplements and sleep and how much that plays a role in your life and your happiness and your longevity so that access to information helps us reinvent ourselves. Like, I don't think about retirement. I'm 55. I don't think, like back in the day, like, 55, you're retiring, you're done.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

You're washed up. Like, you're going to start playing golf or go to a retirement home. That's like 55. Like, we're just getting started, baby. Well, I really believe that. And so when people, people think about not adapting, I'm like, you totally can make that pivot. You have relationships and you can start a startup. You can decide to go from corporate to entrepreneurship, or if you're an entrepreneur and you decide, I want to take a job at Delta because I want to start, like, you know, traveling for my life. Like, a lot of people do that too.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I love it. My parents are like, crushing retirement. It is so fun to watch. Like, my dad got like an industrial sewing machine to learn how to sew upholstery for his hot rod. And I was like, that's just amazing. Like, I, I can't even keep up with what they're doing because it's so many things. My mom is a wish granter for the Make a Wish Foundation. Like, just so many cool things where, like, I've seen versions of retirement where it's like all of a sudden you just sit on the couch every day and watch the news all day, every day and feed the birds or you can go out and do amazing things. And so I love that. And I am obviously a huge fan of reinvention. I feel like myself and my brand has lived through many iterations over the years.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

You're a photographer, you've done different things. Like, reinvention kind of starts with learning. I really believe that you can just learn anything, anytime. And I know for so many people listening, like, change is hard, but being stuck is harder.

[Unknown]

Agreed. Choose your hard. Choose your hard. I couldn't agree more. You talk about self reliance a lot. Talk to me about what that means to you, how has it shaped your career in life and like, where does that come from?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah, so the term self reliance was something that I started to think about when I looked at, like, my career over time. Like, what, what's the thing that was consistent in my DNA? It's like I had to rely on myself. And when I say that term A lot of people are like, self reliance means I don't need anybody, I can do it better on my own. Like, I'm just gonna rely on myself because I know all or I'm the best person to get something done.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I have a very different definition of self reliance. Self reliance to me is what can you do to bet on yourself to show up for yourself before you start reaching out to other people. So for example, I want to rely on myself to have a really good network of relationships. I'm not going to say, hey, Jenna, I really need something for my business. Can I rely on those relationships that you spent a lifetime developing and learning? Can I just borrow those?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I want to rely on myself to know how to network, to know how to build relationships, to know how to have people in my life that are part of my life because I've invested in them. I want to be self reliant when it comes to building my reputation. I should own my reputation. It's not just something I have. I need to be intentional about it and invest in it and grow it and be kind to people and be consistent in how I show up. So those are the kinds of things when I talk about self reliance, I mean creating value for other people. Now, Jenna, you've met me, you're stuck with me because I'm going to find ways to bring value to you whether you want it or not. Because I believe that if I can create value for other people, I can rely on myself for my income, for my growth, for my happiness, for my longevity. I don't need to wait for other people to bestow it upon me. And that's what I mean when I say self reliant learning. I don't have to wait for my manager to teach me things. Don't I have access to the Internet? Can I learn how to use AI tools? So a lot of people who work in companies are, are waiting for their managers to give them a project. Well, maybe I should anticipate needs or maybe I should try to solve a problem. I could rely on myself to drive my career instead of hoping someone will give me those opportunities. Sometimes you, you know, squeaky wheel gets the grease you need to knock on that door. And so I spend a lot of time just trying to help people, inspire them. But like, you have so much power, you haven't even untapped it yet.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

So if you knew the rules or the ways to do that and to think about how powerful you can be a driver's seat in your life instead of waiting for people to, you know, give it to you. That's my definition of self. Reliance is just like owning your future by really betting on yourself. And if not you, like, who? Like, I really believe that, like so many times in my life, I was stuck in a situation, stuck in a job, asked to do something. I'd never done it before, and I had to rely on myself to figure it out. And if I can do it, coming from nothing, with no money, with no resources, no family business, I don't have any of those things. I really had to, like, learn it on my own. I feel like a lot of people can, too. Both my mom and my dad were severely handicapped. My mom had Ms. Since I was 14 years old and my dad had ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease. And it was a time where I was trying to build my name and my career and figure out who I was. And I had to be a full time caretaker for both of my parents for most of my life. They both passed away a year apart. And that's when I was like, okay, I have to really rely on myself to figure out my purpose in life. Am I going to be a caretaker or am I going to be Maha? And I decided that I can be both. But I really need to figure out how I'm going to rely on myself to build that story and that narrative and my life the way that I feel good about living it, in a way that I have no regrets.

[Unknown]

I'm sure they're incredibly proud of you, or they would be.

[Jenna Kutcher]

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[Unknown]

Digger I love that tape on Self Reliance. Cuz I think sometimes we could look at it coming from like a point of pride, like you said, like where it's like, yeah, of course I can do everything. That's like what most of us are trying to do. But I think it's that ownership piece that a lot of people are missing. Right? And so it's like, yeah, if you were to reverse engineer so many careers, it's the people who just were audacious enough and curious enough to figure it out. Right.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I love the curiosity piece. That's so key.

[Unknown]

Yes. And I mean, honestly, this ties into too. Like the reinvention is like, I feel like staying curious in your life and in your business is the only way to survive and to enjoy the ride. And like for me last year, I often joked that like last year was my year of joy, where it was like my business was the least interesting thing about me. I Was so excited about all these hobbies and try new things, join the local rowing team, learn sourdough, you know, and all these different things. But like all of that richness seeps into your work, it seeps into your brand, it seeps into everything. And so I think a lot of times we underestimate too how we can stay curious in our lives and we don't necessarily connect the dots because so many of us are so efficiency wired and like output wired that we forget. Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

The process, you know, sometimes. And I talk about this Jenna too, like doing nothing takes effort.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I need to like hard rest and recovery are essential in life. And you know, that's why if you're always working, if you're always thinking, you're not giving your brain time to bring in new ideas or new reflections and planning. And that's why I schedule my time that way so that I can do that. Imagine, you know, I think the entitlement of some of the people in the workforce, like I'm entitled to these things or the need to always be productive and always on and doom scrolling and doing all the. That's so bad for you. Like just because everyone else does it doesn't mean that it's right for you.

[Unknown]

Yes, yes. What would you say to somebody who's listening? Either they're starting a personal brand in 2025 or maybe they're reinventing their current brand. What's some advice that you would give them?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Well, one, I think they should do it. First of all, you know, your personal brand is not about your personal life, it's about your reputation. So I feel like I really want everyone to listen to this, like think about your reputation and how you want to show up and, and take that first step. So one, I would encourage them to highly do it and two, think about what it is that you care about a lot that you're very passionate about that comes easy for you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Like you can have your full time job as working in finance, but like you really love yoga or you really love cooking and if that's something you want to be doing more of, do that. Because what fills our cups, makes us happier, can outspill in other areas in our lives in ways that we don't think is going to be rewarding. And it is. And so I feel like a lot of people who aren't thinking about their personal brand need to be competitive. Work environment, evolving marketplace, presence of AI, presence of cancel culture. You need to protect your reputation. I am not saying be a social media influencer. I'M not saying be a creator. I'm saying look at your LinkedIn profile. Make sure it's what you want people to look up when they see you. Make sure you're being intentional about what you're posting, what you're sharing. Because employers, partners, opportunities for work will look at all of those things. Things. And the biggest thing I think that will help you build a strong personal brand is your relationships. So the more relationships you can create, the more you're going to have a better reputation because you're building your brand with other people. And the more relationships you have, the more money you can make. And I just. It's a wheel.

[Unknown]

I love that. What's your tip? Like I can already hear my listener being like, I'm so introverted or I don't even know where to meet people or like how do I even start a conversation with people? I feel like we are a socially anxious generation that needs help. So where do we begin with that?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Yeah. So for introverts, like I always talk about, like if you're gonna go to an event and you're introverted, take somebody with you, right? So that you have somebody to go have a cup of coffee with or go talk to someone and come back to or someone to sit with at lunch. Buddy system is effective to think about like creating relationships in your speed. For example, I would never have an introverted person try to conduct one to one meetings or meet a lot of people at a big event. If there's one or two people that you are interested in connecting with, can we have a cup of coffee in a quiet space or maybe we can go for a walk, Put it in an environment that works for you. Don't feel the need to like collect a lot of business cards and meet a lot of people and conduct business there. I always think about conversation starters. Like I give tips on like what are the conversation starters you should use? Because that alleviates a lot of anxiety that you have when you're trying to meet somebody. So if you're at an event like what is it that brought you to this event? Or what are you excited about doing? Like there's a whole list of them I I can share with you to share with your listeners, but try to plan in advance so you don't leave the anxious part of like trying to come up with how do I introduce myself? Or how do I explain who I am? Do that kind of thinking in advance. I always think for introverts because a lot of people in this world are introverted. Like don't try to think about the next step. Think of the first step. Right? Because a lot of people are like, well, I'm gonna meet somebody and I need to network with them, and then what do I do? And then, yeah, yeah. So don't do that because, like, you're overthinking, you know, what that process is.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh, I love this. I'm, like, trying to raise my kids to, like, know their voice and be comfortable starting conversations. And so, like, we go out for Saturday brunch every Saturday, and I'll, like, have them ask the waiter or waitress, like, a fun question or just like, something. Like last weekend we were talking about how weird is cool and how it's cool to be weird. And so then we asked our waiter, well, what makes you weird? And he was like, oh, he just was telling us about the cartoons he watches and all these video games he loves. And, you know, it's just interesting, too, because I feel like we have a responsibility, especially with this next generation, to, like, raise kids that can talk in this world that is so digital and digitized. I think that we've lost the beauty of real relationships and being in community. And so I love that your ethos really is based in relationships. And one thing I think too, and I can sense it with you, is like, go deep, not wide. Right. Like, we can't have a million connections that we can keep up with and know their kids names and ages and what's going on in their life. But, like, I have just found so much richness and beauty in, like, the depth. And so I think especially too, for introverts, it's like, if you meet one person that you connect with, that's a huge win. And I think our world is so obsessed with, like, going wide when really we should focus on going deep. Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Even when you think about, like, your New Year's resolutions and goals. And I always talk about, like, working on relationships.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Pick five people you want to meet this year. Yeah. Cultivate a real meaningful relationship with them in person, remotely. You know, showing up for them. Like, don't make a big list. People don't have time to, like, network and build their personal brands and create content and take care of their families and meet their obligations. There's a lot. I mean, everyone has lives, right. But it's about being intentional. I'm going to pick a couple of people I really want to meet or invest my relationship with or someone I met last year that I want to take the next level with or I want to connect them to Somebody else. Like, like that's how you should be approaching it. I feel like we know hit and run relationships when we see them and we don't want to be a part of that. We don't want to be a part of having to accumulate a lot of business cards and then figure out what do I do with all these people that I met, which ones are really meaningful for me or my life or my business, or which ones could I really bring value to or are going to have a long term, you know, impact? And I feel like thinking about it, like being intentional about it is really, really important.

[Unknown]

What is one piece of advice that you want to give our listener today as they're kind of navigating this? Like, I feel like you have so much wisdom, you have experienced so much in your career, both as the center stage gal and the behind the scenes person.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

Most of my life, yes.

[Unknown]

And so like, what is just something you want everyone to know and walk away with?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I think about, I'm gonna leave them with one thing. Think about learning versus earning. Right? When you are in your life and you see an opportunity, is this an opportunity for you to learn something or earn something? Sometimes you need to make a decision based on financials because it's going to give you a nice way to earn. But I always look at if this is going to give me a chance to learn, to grow, to meet new people, to learn about a new industry, to challenge myself. I'm definitely picking learning over earning.

[Unknown]

That is so good. Oh my God.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I just feel like if people look at things on that context, like learning is a short term, maybe gain, but might have a very long term implication. And I think about learning versus earning. What opportunities are you looking at today or considering tomorrow and putting in that lens and then ask yourself, is that a learning opportunity or an earning opportunity? When we're young, we should be in learning mode and when we're older, we might want to be in earning mode. But you got to learn. If you're switching careers or switching you're thinking about contemplating something new, I would take it the opportunity. If it's going to give me a chance. Even I do it at my age. If it's giving me a chance to learn, I'm going to work for free for a client because I want to get into that industry. I want to build relationships. There's a reason why I'm picking that choice and it's because I value learning over earning.

[Unknown]

Oh, and people don't realize that knowledge compounds. Like when you learn something, once you can reap the rewards of utilizing that knowledge, putting it to work for the end of time. And so I. Nobody has ever said that before in that way. And I feel like Maha, that was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard on this podcast is just for people to reposition that. And I think we are so hyper focused on earning and I think that there is so much value waiting for you and compounding value in learning. Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed. So good. Okay, you just had a book come out. Tell us a little bit about your book and where we can get it.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

The book is called the seven Rules of Self Reliance, which, you know, we talked a little about self reliance. It's available everywhere. It's on Amazon, Barnes and Noble booksellers everywhere. And it's, it's a great book for people to read who are thinking about how can I bet on myself? Myself.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

How do I create value? How do I not be a waiter? How do I become a lifelong learner? How do I build the best relationships and be a long term player? How do I build my personal brand? It's the biggest chapter in the book for a reason. Because you have to think about online and offline, like what you should do on social versus what you should be doing in real life. And guess what? What matters. What you do in real life is really what matters. And then how to live with no regrets. Like what? Your circumstances that happen to you don't define you. I talk a lot about my personal story with my parents in that chapter. And then stay low, keep moving. It's my mantra for life. It's been my mantra for like, I don't know, 30 years. Yeah, you have to stay low, not low profile. Like just stay focused on what you care about. So if you're always living in whatever people distracting you or people who are trying to take you away from things that you care about, not either doubting you or the distractions of everyday life, you're never going to achieve what you care about. And I really want people to think about. How do you stay low, focused on what you care about? How do you keep moving? You're going to have setbacks, you're going to have bad days, you're going to have economic downturns, you're going to lose clients, you're going to lose friends. Life is messy. So how do you stay low and keep moving?

[Unknown]

And where can everybody connect with you?

[Maha Abu Elinayn]

I'm Instagram, my name, my handle and on LinkedIn and I have a weekly newsletter and I give a lot of comms tips for free and do a lot of free coaching.

[Unknown]

So oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on this show. It was amazing. So many good nuggets of wisdom. Just thank you for showing up and sharing today.

[Jenna Kutcher]

When Maha dropped that nugget of are you learning or are you earning? I literally had to hold myself back from shouting Amen. I have never heard it put in that way. And I think that that is one of the most powerful pieces of advice that that we've ever had on this show. I think so often we're so focused on the earning piece that we forget the power of learning and we forget to see how that learning can impact our trajectory, our growth, and our future. I absolutely loved having Maha on the Gold Digger podcast. I'm sure you loved her too. If you know someone who can benefit from the show, just take a quick minute and share this episode with them. It would mean the absolute world to me. And thank you so much for tuning in to the Gold Digger podcast. Of course. Until next time, keep on digging your biggest goals. Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to gold diggerpodcast.com for today's show. Notes Notes Discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more. And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time. Gold Diggers.