855: Why You Need to Separate Your Self-Worth From Your Success

Summary

Episode 855: Why You Need to Separate Your Self-Worth From Your Success
Host: Jenna Kutcher
Guest: Ozzy Jazastani
Release Date: February 24, 2025

In Episode 855 of The Goal Digger Podcast, host Jenna Kutcher engages in a deeply insightful conversation with entrepreneur Ozzy Jazastani. The episode explores the profound emotional impacts that accompany significant business milestones and underscores the crucial need to separate personal self-worth from professional success. This discussion provides valuable lessons for entrepreneurs striving to maintain their identity and well-being amidst the pressures of building and scaling a business.

Guest Background

Ozzy Jazastani brings nearly two decades of experience in the events industry to the conversation. She founded Mason Principal, an event venue that she successfully scaled and eventually sold—a milestone that many entrepreneurs dream of achieving. Following this significant achievement, Ozzy embarked on a journey of reinvention by establishing the Sweet Table Shop, a curated product line catering to event professionals and party enthusiasts. Her story is a testament to resilience, creativity, and the continuous evolution required to embrace new opportunities.

The Emotional Aftermath of Achieving Major Milestones

One of the central themes of the episode is the unexpected emotional turmoil that can follow major business successes. Ozzy shares her personal experience of selling Mason Principal, highlighting how the achievement initially felt rewarding but ultimately led to feelings of emptiness and loss of identity.

Ozzy (00:01): "I started kind of like clapping for myself up on a pedestal and being like, wow. For myself. I didn't need anybody else to applaud for me."

As the sale of her business approached, Ozzy experienced a dramatic shift in emotions:

Ozzy (03:26): "I felt sick. I felt lost. Like, what am I going to do next? Like, who am I now?"

This candid admission sheds light on a commonly overlooked aspect of entrepreneurship—the emotional vulnerability that comes after achieving what once seemed insurmountable goals.

Identity and Business Success

Jenna and Ozzy delve into the intricate relationship between personal identity and business achievements. Ozzy emphasizes the danger of tying one’s self-worth too closely to professional success, a trap that can lead to profound personal crises when milestones are reached.

Ozzy (03:26): "The most important thing for me was moving forward to create some distance between, like, who I am and what I do."

Jenna adds that this issue is particularly prevalent among women entrepreneurs, who often pour their identities into their businesses, making the separation even more challenging.

Coping with Loss and Reinvention

The conversation moves to Ozzy’s coping mechanisms following the sale of her business. She discusses the isolation and emotional struggle she faced, including how she navigated the transition and rediscovered her sense of self.

Ozzy (08:22): "I locked myself up in my room and closed myself off from everybody... I just wasn't prepared."

Jenna relates this to her own experiences, highlighting the universal nature of these feelings among entrepreneurs. They underscore the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions rather than suppressing them.

Work-Life Balance and Separation

Establishing a healthy work-life balance is another key topic. Ozzy explains how she redefined her approach to business to ensure that her personal life remained distinct and fulfilling.

Ozzy (37:37): "I have a new business now, and I've built it in that way. I don't think that it's fair to say that we're not going to have a piece of our identity attached to the businesses that we build. It's not really possible."

She emphasizes the importance of creating boundaries to prevent burnout and maintain personal well-being, advocating for a balance that allows for both professional success and personal happiness.

Redefining Success

A significant portion of the discussion focuses on redefining what success means on an individual level. Ozzy and Jenna challenge conventional metrics of success, encouraging listeners to find personal fulfillment and alignment with their values.

Ozzy (27:28): "I've done great things, I continue to do great things. I'm happy in what I do."

Jenna echoes this sentiment, stressing that true success is measured by personal satisfaction and alignment with one’s true north, rather than external accolades or financial achievements.

Lessons Learned and Tips

Towards the end of the episode, Ozzy shares practical advice for entrepreneurs looking to separate their self-worth from their business successes:

1. Create Distance: Establish boundaries between your personal identity and your professional roles to prevent overwhelming feelings of loss when milestones are achieved.

2. Celebrate Achievements Personally: Learn to applaud your successes independently, cultivating self-recognition rather than relying solely on external validation.

3. Prioritize Well-Being: Maintain a healthy work-life balance by dedicating time to personal interests and relationships outside of business endeavors.

4. Redefine Success: Align your definition of success with personal values and fulfillment rather than traditional business metrics.

5. Allow Time to Process: Give yourself the space and time to process emotions following significant achievements or transitions.

Notable Quotes

• Ozzy on Self-Applause:

  "I started kind of like clapping for myself up on a pedestal and being like, wow. For myself. I didn't need anybody else to applaud for me." [00:01]

• Ozzy on Identity Loss:

  "I felt sick. I felt lost. Like, what am I going to do next? Like, who am I now?" [03:26]

• Jenna on Renegotiating Boundaries:

  "You always have the opportunity to renegotiate what that looks like." [16:06]

• Ozzy on Redefining Success:

  "I've done great things, I continue to do great things. I'm happy in what I do." [27:28]

Conclusion

Episode 855 of The Goal Digger Podcast offers a profound exploration of the emotional complexities that accompany business success. Through Ozzy Jazastani’s honest reflections and Jenna Kutcher’s empathetic guidance, listeners gain valuable insights into maintaining personal identity and well-being amidst entrepreneurial endeavors. The episode serves as a powerful reminder that true success encompasses both professional achievements and personal fulfillment, advocating for a balanced approach that honors both aspects of one’s life.

For entrepreneurs navigating similar challenges, this episode provides both solace and actionable strategies to ensure that their journey toward success does not come at the expense of their self-worth and happiness.

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Connect with Ozzy Jazastani:

• Instagram: @ozzyjazastani
• Sweet Table Shop: sweettableshop.com

Stay Tuned:
Visit goaldiggerpodcast.com for show notes, discount codes, and additional resources. Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to The Goal Digger Podcast on your preferred platform to never miss an episode!

Transcript

[A]

And I think what changed for me after I came out of that darkness is I started kind of like clapping for myself up on a pedestal and being like, wow. For myself. I didn't need anybody else to applaud for me.

[B]

I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Gold Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a 300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks. All from my house in small town Minnesota with my family here, we value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work, and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love. I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical no fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works, works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired and empowered. This is the Goal Digger podcast. Have you ever achieved a major milestone in your career only to find yourself wondering, okay, what's next? It's an odd feeling, isn't it? That mix of pride and joy and maybe a little fear about where to go from here. Today's guest, Ozzy Jazastani, knows this feeling all too well. With nearly two decades in the events industry, Ozzy went from planning unforgettable celebrations to running her own venue, Mason Principal. She scaled and sold that business, a massive achievement that any entrepreneur would dream of. But what came next wasn't just a victory lap. It was a brave step into reinvention. Now Ozzy is the founder of the Sweet Table Shop. It's a beautifully curated product line for event professionals and party lovers. Her story is one of resilience, creativity breakdowns and breakthroughs, and constantly evolving to embrace new opportunities. It's a story about the comeback after the win, the surprising challenges that arise after reaching a peak, and the courage that it takes for us to build again. In our conversation, we discuss how Ozzy navigated this journey, her insights on staying true to your vision while reinventing yourself, and the lessons she's learned about resilience and renewal. Ozzy, welcome to the Gold Digger podcast. Entrepreneurs are often laser focused on achieving really big goals. But we don't talk enough about the unexpected feelings that can come with reaching them. So, Ozzy, in your experience, what do you think we get wrong about goal setting and achievement?

[A]

Yeah, great question. And I think it's something that we very rarely discuss. You know, as entrepreneurs, we're always chasing big goals. We. We very rarely talk about, you know, kind of what happens once you reach those goals. I know. For me, it was just. It hit me so much harder than I had ever expected. You know, I had this business that was so tied up to my identity that when I sold it, I was like, instead of being met with excitement, I was just. I felt sick. I felt lost. Like, what am I going to do next? Like, who am I now?

[B]

You know?

[A]

And I think for me, that was the thing that I learned is that the most important thing for me was moving forward to create some distance between, like, who I am and what I do, you know? And I think that if you don't do that, you're very much going to be met with this feeling of like, I am a nobody now. And it's. It's terrible feeling. And everybody else is like, you should be so excited. And you even feel like, I was supposed to be excited. And I think throughout this, for me, when I was selling my business, like, the process leading up to the sale, I felt really just proud of myself. And I was like, yeah, girl, like, you did this. And then closer we got to the day where we were actually going to finally sign, the more I started feeling, like, kind of removed from the experience, and everyone around me continued being really excited, and I started feeling sick. And then, you know, I would go for long drives and I remember, like, there'd be moments where I'd be blasting, like, my favorite song and really feeling myself like, yes, I've done this. I'm amazing. And then before the end of the song, I'd be bawling, you know, So I just. I was not prepared for kind of that emotional roller coaster. And I think it's so important to discuss it, you know, like, achieving those big milestones, whatever they are in your business, it's important. But also preparing yourself for, like, that emotional shift that comes afterward. I think it's so, so, so important. And we. We gotta do it. We gotta talk.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We gotta prepare ourselves.

[B]

Yeah, it's really interesting because I'll never forget interviewing my friend Nastya Lucan, gold medal gymnast, and she came on the podcast and she was just talking about, like, what do you do when you feel like your life's work Is behind you, or like, the best thing that you've ever done is already done. Right? And it's so interesting because it's like, as humans and entrepreneurs, we're always reaching, we're always striving. And I think that's just the human tendency. Like, it's good that we want to keep doing more right? But I do think that it's a very unique thing because to the outward world, it's like, you did it. You made it all of the wonderful things which it is, all of those things. But at the same point, too, when your identity is wrapped up in something, which for so many entrepreneurs, our identities are wrapped up in what we do. As a business owner, there is something really peculiar that happens when you've achieved the thing. Have you ever had it happen, Ozzy? Like, I know it's happened for me many different times where I set this audacious goal and I finally reach it, and I get there and I'm like, is this it? Like, is this what I was after? Like, is this the thing? And I. I think I realized over and over again that I wasn't setting the right goals in the first place. But has that happened to you?

[A]

Yes, I think that's what it is. Look, I. I grew up in an environment where I needed to work from a very young age. Okay? I needed to help with my family. So my situation may be a little bit different than some other people, But I had always set these impossible goals for myself because I had to. I didn't really have any other choice. I was going to go out there and I was going to make, you know, everybody's situation different. And as I was kind of climbing through, you know, going through my career and all, you know, what I had achieved, as I kept achieving, for me, it was like, okay, bigger. I need bigger. So I was never satisfied. And then when I came to this last business that I sold, you know, going back to who I was as a kid, impossible to even think that one day I would be here. I was upset with myself. Like, what is going to make you happy? Because it's not this, you know, and it wasn't. And that's where everything kind of shifted for me. Things started really changing when I realized, you're right, the goals that I was setting, they were wrong. They were the wrong thing. I was chasing the wrong stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a painful realization that I think happens more often than not. And I think it also puts us in a really isolated position because we've set these goals and we've achieved them, and yet we feel lonely in them. And how dare you express that when you're doing these things that look so beautiful to the outward world? Right. Like, you would feel ungrateful to even express a hint of what you might be feeling. And I think that that can be a very isolating experience that women typically walk through alone, especially women entrepreneurs. One thing that I think is interesting is that we've kind of touched on it, but I want to go deeper is that I think sometimes success can feel like a loss. And so what has that taught you, for you, about this idea of identity and reinvention?

[A]

Right? So like we said, like, we often tie our identity so closely to our businesses that, of course, once we reach these big milestones that we've set for ourselves, in my case, selling my business, of course I'm going to be met with that sense of loss. I just lost who I. Who am I now, moving forward? And so that loss, I mean, it's. It's difficult to. I'm sure for every single person, it's different, you know, but what happened to me is like, rather than feeling excited and happy and looking forward to the future, even forget about the future moment, being excited in that moment and celebrating, I locked myself up in my room and closed myself off from everybody, my family, everybody, and just kind of sat in that for so long, and I just wasn't prepared. And I think in talking about the fact that achieving milestones can very much be. Feel like a loss, I think that we can help others even. Just. Even if we can't help them through the darkness. Because I personally needed to just process it and go through it myself. I think even just knowing other people do feel that way and there's not something wrong with you is so important, you know?

[B]

Yeah. What got you out of that? Because I think that no matter where you are in your entrepreneurial journey, there are going to be those seasons where you do isolate. Right. Whether it's you're isolating for creativity or you're isolating after a failure, or you're isolating out of fear. And I think that, you know, when I look back on my own journey, my first few years of entrepreneurship were insanely lonely, and I think a lot of that was stemming from scarcity. Like, I felt like an imposter, and I also just felt like everyone was my competition and there was no room for anything. And so how did you kind of work yourself out of that? Or did anything work? Or was it just time? Like, what do you think it was?

[A]

Yeah. So honestly, I allowed myself the time to process it. I was lucky enough that I had a partner who, you know, kind of understood pretty early on after that, I needed to be left alone. And, you know, I. As a mom, I have a little boy. He was what, he was four and a half when I sold business. He needed me. So I couldn't just keep myself isolated very, you know, all day, every day, which is what I wanted to do. But I would allow myself to kind of. When he did go off to school, I'd kind of fall apart. And then right before picking him up, I'd go dress up, put some makeup on, look like I was this happy mom, and kind of get through the evening. And then when he went to sleep, find myself back. We're in that darkness. I allowed myself processing time. I stopped putting pressure on myself to wake up and feel great. You know, it was like, okay, this is just. This is what's happening. Don't let people tell you no. You know, you. You're supposed to feel good. You know what? I don't feel good. So it was just that. It was really just giving myself the time. And then it kind of just clicked one day. You know, I think we can't tell anybody how long it's going to take them, but when the worst of it is, you know, behind you, you do kind of. There is a shift, and it just kind of happens, and you start feeling a little bit better, and, you know, you want to come out of your room a little bit more. And then you start, you know, wanting to engage again with people. And one thing that I will say, for a very long time, I kept looking back, I would watch the business, and I obsess over what they were doing wrong or, you know, just feeling so terrible. Just even seeing them succeed without me, like, yeah, yeah. Fall apart.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it was doing great and moving on, and that was hard. Looking back and constantly watching was something that I needed to stop doing. It's not to say that I don't. And I do. I. I find myself kind of looking. I. You. Of course you do. Such a huge part of me. It was my baby. I'm going to watch it a lot less. Right. And as time went on, I just kind of felt more and more disconnected from it. And it became this amazing thing that I did rather than this. I don't know, it just felt like this milestone that I wish I had never met. I wish I had never sold it. So it went from that kind of negative outlook to a positive.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I did that, you know, that's why they're able to, you know, continue doing great, because I built this beautiful, amazing thing, and I need to be, you know, proud of myself for that.

[B]

It's so interesting when I think about, like, identity and entrepreneurship, and I feel like I've been thinking about it a lot more lately. There's definitely a stage in my life, and even on this podcast, where I would have said, everybody needs to have a personal brand, of course a personal brand is the way to do it, and I definitely question that so much now where you recognize, like, when you have something that is more personal, whether or not it's a personal brand, because yours wasn't, and it still was deeply intertwined into who you were, it really helps you to see where the lines can get blurred. Right. Like, where one thing stops and the human journey starts. And I do think we should touch on this idea of identity because there are certain founders who, like, they grow the business and they have no problem letting it go. Right. Like, for them, it is like, take it away. I don't want to do this. But I do think, too, that women have such a much more intimate experience in the building because we have our hands in every. Every little decision, every nuance, every color, every font. Like, we obsess over those things, and there's. There's a reason behind each thing. And so as you kind of navigate out of the sale of a business, would you do things differently in terms of finding your identity in your idea or your business? Like, what have you learned from that?

[A]

Well, what you said about. Some entrepreneurs have very easy time. They. They actually build their businesses with the.

[B]

Idea that they're going to let it go. Yeah.

[A]

When the time comes. My husband is that. That defines him to 100%. That's who he is. And so he was like, of course this is the time to sell the business. It's the right time. Let's go. And he's done. We've done that in our relationship. We've struggled even when it came to real estate. Our home, for example. Oh, it's time to sell. We got a great offer. It's time to go. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, no, I'm emotionally attached to all of this stuff.

[B]

Stuff.

[A]

And. Yeah, exactly that. So I think for me, the thing that I've learned, I feel like I just said that before, is that distance that I now put between myself and the businesses and projects that I am part of. I'm kind of going into it knowing that nothing is forever and that everything has a Period. And. And I'm okay with that now. Right. And I've built. I have a new business now, and I've built it in that way. I don't think that it's fair to say that we're not going to have a piece of our identity attached to the businesses that we build. It's not really possible. Then the business wouldn't be what it is if I was attached to it in some way, if I didn't bring my identity into that. Right. But the way that I felt the business was who I actually am. And without, I am nobody. That's just not something that I'm going to allow myself to do ever again.

[B]

Yes. Yes. I think it's such a powerful point, and I think anybody listening can benefit from this. And I was even just recently talking to my therapist about this because Drew and I have always really done a good job of separating my work from our life. Like, we don't even talk about work. He couldn't even tell you what I'm working on or what I'm launching. And it's just always been how I've wanted it to be. So that when I'm in my life, I'm just in my life. And I was talking to my therapist about that. Cause I'm like, sometimes that's a disservice because he has no idea, you know, the things I'm encountering on a daily basis or what I'm, you know, thinking about at three in the morning. But she was saying something that I think is powerful for all of us. And it was. She said, you always have the opportunity to renegotiate what that looks like. And I think that that thought right there is so powerful for anybody listening is what is your relationship in terms of your identity and its entwinement with whatever it is that you're working on? And does a renegotiation need to take place? Like, is that a piece of you or an idea from you, or is that all of you? And if it's all of you, I think we both. Right, Aussie, we would say there needs to be some separation. And I know for me, there was definitely a time in my life, as my career was going, I was so open, where it's like everything was on the table, right. What I ate for breakfast, what I chose to dress my kids, it was all a part of everything. And I have renegotiated so many times as to like, where does the business end and the person begin? And your experience, to me, is this beautiful and heartbreaking. Illustration of what that looks like for so many of us to let go of something that was so much of who we were and who we are.

[A]

Right. And also to that. And I have. I used to be very much an open book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I kind of started, you know, as a planner and in one city, and then kind of grew and changed as an entrepreneur throughout, you know, nearly two decades as a planner and then just an industry professional. And people watched all of those, you know, iterations.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they almost felt like they were part of it, which is nice. And it was great. But after I sold the business, I decided that, you know, privacy was protection. And even if that was just, like, for my own mental state, like, people had no idea what I had gone through. I remember I moved away from the city after I sold business, and I remember going back to the city after a while, and, oh, that was hard because everything. And then when I was back, I remember meeting with people and they were just like, oh, man. Like, what you did was incredible. Like, you're a legend in the industry. And I just thought to myself, these people have no idea, you know, the struggle that I've kind of been through in the last few months. And I was okay with that because I just decided this next chapter was going to look very different. I was going to be very present in my son's life. I didn't want to share my home and my family life anymore more in the way that I did. And it's worked for me, you know, and also new business, because I've started it in that way. I very much feel like my business is separate from who I am.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Personal brand, not in the way that maybe you would think of it, is kind of what it's very much like. If you do know me, if you have watched me over the last, you know, almost two decades, you'd know that. Like, for example, I love dessert tables. I like to style sort of things. And so, of course, it makes sense that I did that. But if you're coming in and you're only getting to know me now, you have no idea. You're just like, oh, this company exists. Who's really behind it? It's great, whatever. But there is no. And I'm not sure if that's the right thing or not, but it's what I've decided works for me.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think that that's the beauty of it, is that we get to constantly renegotiate it. And I just. Ever since she brought that term into my life, I'm like, we can renegotiate anything. Interest rates, we can renegotiate relationships, household duties. Like, it just is beautiful because I often feel like we can almost create businesses that feel, like, fixed or stuck. And it's not true that that is the freedom of entrepreneurship. And I feel like even you taking your experiences and being like, okay, what do I want to carry forward and how do I want to do this? I feel like that is the valuable lesson that we get to earn as entrepreneurs. So I love that. One thing that I'm curious about is, like, as you've kind of come out of this and you're starting new things and you're kind of thinking about that, how do you maintain alignment? Like, how do you make sure that you don't get off track or you don't make decisions that leave you in that really dark place? Like, is there anything that you've been doing or practice or a way that you've kind of changed how you're looking at the goals you're setting to just make sure that you're checking in and that it's in alignment for you?

[A]

I think that anyone who. Who wants to be an entrepreneur, who decides to go that route has a bit of a obsessive kind of personality right. In common. So for me was that I realized, like, I wanted to be a very present mom, you know, And I had never before having my son, I never imagined my life with a kid. You know, I was always kind of like, oh, no, I'm gonna be a businesswoman. And from a very young age, I was like, I'm gonna, you know, go. I'm gonna be working all the time. I never saw myself as being a mom. And then when I got pregnant and I had my son, everything changed. But I. I knew that I wanted that to be a priority, you know, being present. And in the event industry, that's just not. It wasn't possible, right? I gave birth. Five weeks later, I was back to work. I brought in my father, he was my babysitter, because I want to be able to leave him with someone that I really trusted. And I knew I'd be leaving. I'd pump, you know, leave it in the fridge, go at 5:00 in the morning, come back at 2, 3:00 in the morning sometimes. And this was over and over and over again. And I just. I knew. And that was one of the reasons why I ended up deciding to sell to begin with at all. But it was. I knew that work was always going to be a part of my Life. But I, I guess I, I left that, you know, at any cost kind of mindset behind and I started prioritizing myself, my time and what I now. It was non negotiable for me. So that's how I kind of moved forward. And my biggest takeaway from the whole thing is like, I'm still going to be the obsessed person that I am in any business. When he's home, I'm putting things away, you know what I mean? Wants to, you know, chat about something. I'm putting my phone down. Yes. I was just not like that. And have videos. I have this one video and I saved it as a favorite and I watch it often and it's me. I don't remember what the conversation on the other end is, but we're at breakfast, I have this baby sitting in a high chair, my husband videotaping me to kind of show me afterwards. Me not even realizing that he's doing it. And I'm just, I'm going at my phone, I'm writing something. I look frustrated. You can see my face. And this is obviously a Saturday morning and. And I look at it and I think to myself, that's just never going to be me anymore.

[B]

Yes. Oh my gosh, I can relate so much. And you know, for us, I was a wedding photographer. My life was planned out two years in advance. And it. Which is so. It challenges everything about me as somebody with ADHD who cannot commit and hates commitments. And I just remember when we were going through our season of loss and I was literally like planning our family around my career, it was like, what is this? And you know, similar to you with events, it was like I couldn't even imagine what it would look like to be doing that and having a kid and what our reality would be. Like, I'm gone every weekend. Is that the reality? Like, And I think it's really interesting because, you know, we both learned so much in that season. And I love that you said, you know, you would be willing to do whatever it takes, you know, whatever it takes to get there. And now I think, like, at what cost? I always just think, at what cost? Yes, I could be more successful at what cost? Yes, I could make more money at what cost? And that is a huge shift. I think it comes with age. I also think that motherhood is a beautiful ushering of that question in for a lot of people. But it's not necessary to really ask yourself that. And it's just, you know, a beautiful thing because I, I don't regret what I Did. Do you regret what you did, like, in terms of that work, you know, like, I don't regret it, but I wouldn't go back.

[A]

No. It's funny because actually, when we sold the place, pretty soon after, an opportunity came to do a similar type of project.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

An even bigger scale. And so my husband was like, hey, I think you'd be great. Let's do this again. And. And it was like, even in the moment where I felt so low and I didn't know if I had peaked and all this stuff we talked about, I knew it wasn't it. I wasn't willing to do that again. I. I knew the sacrifice that it took to be in that industry. And anyone that is in that industry knows. I mean, so many different jobs and things that people do are crazy. But if you've ever been in the events industry, you know that it's a certain type of crazy that is. It's almost borderlines on abuse. It's hard, and it's very difficult.

[B]

Yeah. It's so interesting.

[A]

And.

[B]

And I think, too, it's why I want people to really question what is success for them. Right. Because you and I have both had experiences where we hit the, quote, mountaintop, and the view is not what we wanted, or the view is not even what we hoped for, and especially for women, because I think we're sold so many different visuals of what success should look like. We never really ask ourselves, what does success feel like? Like, in my body, how do I know I'm successful? How have you changed your relationship with success in this journey?

[A]

Oh, well, one thing that I started doing that again, I don't know if it comes from the way that I was raised or kind of my upbringing in general, but I never felt successful. No matter what I did, I didn't feel successful. I almost always. Not. I don't want to say that I had imposter syndrome, because I think, if anything, I had the opposite. I always felt like, hey, I belong. I remember going up and having my mom drive me around, like, very kind of uppity neighborhoods, and. And I would look at the houses, and I'd be like, I'm gonna live here one day. So I always had a sense of, like, I'm able to achieve anything that I put my mind to, and I'm put my mind on achieving the biggest things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just never really felt successful. If I was, you know, a wedding planner, I felt like I didn't have enough events.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Other people had more. I needed to have more. Then it's like, you know, whatever, whatever I did, if it was a particular client that I wanted, then it was like, okay, I did this. Now I need to have like the what? And so I just never did feel successful. And then I think what changed for me after I came out of that darkness is I started kind of like clapping for myself. Myself up on a pedestal and being like, wow, for myself. I didn't anybody else to applaud for me. People had over the years and I just. And even if I pretended like I was receiving that, I never really felt, you know, that I had done anything worthy of that applause. And then I took a step back and I was like, no, you absolutely have. You have done so much. And it was putting every one of my achievements up and applauding them and not putting myself down and learning to kind of just feel good and that, that's it. Now I feel good. You know, whether this next business does well or not doesn't matter. I feel good. I've done great things, I continue to do great things. I'm happy in what I do. And just being able to have a job, whether it's you have your own business or you work with a group that you just love, that's success. You wake up pretty great about what it is that you're going to be doing that day. You're successful, you've done it.

[B]

Amen. You know, it's so funny too, because having young kids, like my kids have no idea what I do. They do not know what my job is. I try to explain it like they don't care. Like success to me is like being present and reading books and being available for snuggles and being there in the morning to make the bacon. Just so and so. I think too it's humbling because you look at your pride in the people you love, whether it's your parents or your siblings or your next door neighbor or your children. And we are so quick to give love in that way and we're so, so hard on ourselves. And I love what you said of like, I never felt successful, like, even when you had that. And that insatiable desire, I think is a piece of really successful entrepreneurs, but it's also a piece that will ruin your life if you let it. And so it's almost like, yeah, you can be a passenger on this journey, that insatiable drive. You can come, but you cannot be in the driver's seat anymore. And I feel like that is where we find our power and we claim it back, which is so beautiful. One thing I'm curious about is, you know, when you have high points, like, you had such a high point, like, how did you get the confidence and the desire to start over again? Because I think a lot of people aren't willing to start over again. We know what it takes to get to that initial success. So what did that look like for. For you?

[A]

Yeah. So, you know, I think I talked about how I never had imposter syndrome, but I was definitely overlooked in my industry. No one really saw me coming. I was kind of the underdog, which I liked. I like being the underdog. You know, I find it kind of fuels me in many ways. But what happened was, like, I had succeeded in front of people who didn't necessarily think I was going to. And as much as that seems exciting or, like, you know, I did that moving forward past that was very scary because now I had this, like, platform who had these expectations of me, and now it was like an added layer of stress that I needed to. If I was going to do anything at all, it better be huge. It better be much bigger, right where I never had that before, or I didn't have anybody thinking anything of me. So it allowed me kind of the space to. To grow as an entrepreneur and to just do anything. It's like, whether I failed or not didn't really matter. Nobody really thought it. Nobody saw it coming. So that was fine, and that was safe. And then, like, there's this added pressure that. That was very scary. And honestly, it paralyzed me for, like, two years. Everything that it kept thinking of, like, you know, doing, I'd stop myself. You know, that's not going to be great, or I've done that before, and. No, no, no. And it just. It kept me back and I guess time when I started doing the applause for myself, when I started really looking back at myself and thinking of all the things that I had done and succeeded at and all the milestones that I had, you know, achieved, I realized, I'm gonna do something again. And whether or not it succeeds, it's. It's totally fine. I found something that I wanted to do again. I took that confidence that I had, you know, instilled in myself through the darkness, you know, giving myself that applaud. And then I rolled up my sleeve and decided, you know, I'm gonna just try this new thing. I took the pressure off of myself that I felt all these people were putting on me.

[B]

Isn't it funny? You just brought up the best point? Like, so often we feel like there's so much pressure on ourselves. And I would argue that 90 of the time, it's pressure we put on ourselves. I was just talking to one of my best friends, and she was like, I need to stop working nights and weekends. And I was like, what are you working on? Like, and she was telling me this project. I was like, is there a deadline that I don't know about? Like, it's funny how. I mean, I think entrepreneurs need a lot of therapy. I avoided it for so long. But there are pieces of us that make us successful. But I think so many of those positive traits and tendencies that lead us to success can also be the things that can really get us into unhealthy relationships with things like success and work and identity and all those things. So it's. It's peculiar, right? Because it's like, we're an interesting breed of people who are crazy enough to go for it, but at the same point, the things that make us crazy enough to go for it could also make us crazy. So I love that. What was, like, the biggest lesson you took from having built something and selling it into the next business? Like, was there any specific thing you did differently? Was there something where you're like, I'm never doing that again?

[A]

Well, it was that whole, you know, keeping the distance between me and the business. That's. That's my biggest takeaway. Just in general, I'm never going. I don't want to be. I don't want to go back to the place that I was at. If, let's say, tomorrow, this business exceeds my expectations and I'm at a table again where I'm selling it, I don't want to feel that same loss. So I've just kind of shifted my mindset, and I have other things outside of my work, you know, that are important for me and that I enjoy and that, you know, that identity that I used to just attach to the business, you know, I had new life outside of what I did. That's just not who I am anymore. You know, reading a book or listening to a podcast, you know, I'm not just constantly on a phone or constantly focused on, what can I do better, what can I do more, what can I do? And some people will argue that that's just not the way to build a, you know, successful business, that you have to kind of be all in and you have to be. Be crazy about it. But I think that for me personally, I need that balance. I need that work life balance. And I've heard, you know, because nowadays, you know, we watch. There's so much kind of. That we're seeing constantly, and that puts a lot of pressure on people. And I heard this one kind of real. And it was like, work life balance, you know, is not possible. And just forget about that. No, I personally, I refuse to believe that it's not possible. You know, I'm living proof that it's possible and living proof that when you do give everything to a business and, you know, even you attain those big goals that you've put, you're not met with excitement and happiness and fulfillment. It's the opposite. So if you don't find that work life balance, if you don't separate yourself from your business, you are surely going to be met with disappointment.

[B]

It, you know, yes, yes. Your business can't love you back. I mean, it's just. It's the reality. And I, you know, I saw something where it was just talking about, like, at the end of your life, your kids don't care what's in your bank account. They don't care how many followers you have. They don't care anything like that. They care about what you did with them and the time you spent with them. And I just think that, you know, maybe it's age, maybe it's wisdom, maybe it's hard for thought lessons we've learned. But, you know, it's beautiful. And, and I've challenged myself a lot in this thought because I so align with you. And I do think that balance can be achieved. I think you have to fight for it, but it can be achieved. And, you know, we kind of came up in this, like, hustle culture mentality, right, of just like, wake up earlier, work harder, you know, keep going. And I do think a lot of times hustle is required to get the dream off the ground. But I've already argued that if hustle is the only way to sustain the dream, then maybe that's not the dream. And, you know, I've had to come to terms with that because I've interviewed hundreds of amazing women just like yourself, and there is a component of hustle in almost every single story. But after that hustle comes the breakdown, right? And then the breakthrough. And that is like the trend in almost every founder's story. And so, you know, it's beautiful because it's like, yeah, we're not saying that, like, you can just step into a business and have balance. I don't think that's necessarily realistic. But I also think that you have to look at, like, how long can you sprint and what does that sprint look like? And what's the path after that? When are you going to walk and rest? Like, what? What is that? Because I have found so much more pleasure and enjoyment in my life when I have a life outside of work. And I'm sure you feel the same way.

[A]

Exactly the same way, yeah.

[B]

What is something that's exciting you this year in 2025? What are you pumped about? What's lighting you up?

[A]

Well, I started my new business, and so I've been focusing on that, and it's because of the way that I've kind of built it up where it's. I decided to do something that I really had, like, a passion for. I remember, like, anytime I was, like, depressed or anything or feeling low or feeling super overwhelmed with work, even when I owned a venue, like I owned and operated a venue, I would take time away to create these, like, suite tables, which sounds, like so random, but just the styling of them and, you know, taking pictures and being in that space made me really happy. So now to have a business that's built around doing something that used to calm me down, I really have a lot of fun with it. So I'm excited because it's the first time, really, in my life where my business feels fun. And I don't know if it's because I've taken that pressure off or because my circumstances are such now that I don't have the pressure that I used to feel, you know, but I. You know, and then just spending time with my son, traveling, you know, being able to have these experiences with him, we discuss all the time, kind of like what we want to see, where we want to go, what we want to do. I'm turning 40 in, you know, in March, and so that's something that I cannot believe. I'm like, yeah, time is going fast, and I'm trying to slow it down so I can enjoy. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to all of it.

[B]

I love that. Okay, where can everybody find you and connect with you?

[A]

Thank you. So Instagram Azzy Jazz Stani is my Instagram, and of course, the Sweet Table Shop, which is my new baby.

[B]

Sweet tableshop.com amazing. Thank you so much for coming on and just sharing your story and the reality. I think this is such a beautiful conversation to help people get in alignment and to really renegotiate where their business starts and where their human adventure begins.

[A]

Jenna, thank you so much for having me.

[B]

Today's conversation was so powerful because I don't think we talk enough about what it feels like on the other side of success and what it feels like to maybe reach milestones that don't really feel the way you thought they would. We've all been guilty of setting the wrong goals and going after to achieve them, only to be left with wondering, is this really it? Ozzy's honest story is so beautiful because on the outside looking in, she had made it. But when we build businesses, it's important that we think through how our identity survives without it, what it looks like beyond it, and where we renegotiate what we're willing to put into it in the first place. I loved today's episode. I hope you loved it too. I hope it gets you thinking bigger and bolder, and I also hope that it helps you stay in alignment as you set out to achieve your goals. Until next time, Gold Diggers, keep on digging your biggest and the right goals for you. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the podcast. Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to goldiggerpodcast.com for today's show Notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more. More. And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time. Gold Diggers.