← The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
885: Saturn Returns, Soul Lessons, and the Truth About Growing Up with the Hosts of Almost 30
00:50:55
With Krista Williams, Lindsey Simcik and Jenna Kutcher
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- [00:02]
Jenna Kutcher
Gain full visibility, streamline workflows and make Smarter decisions with Monday.com's CRM platform. Try it now@Monday.com CRM.
- [00:14]
Lindsay Simcik
I just realized that I have an opportunity right now in the mess of trying so desperately to find my person to actually get into right relationship with myself and to set the tone for every other relationship in my life. Like, this is my time.
- [00:31]
Jenna Kutcher
Jenna I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Gold Digger podcast. I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a $300 camera from Craigslist and a dream. Now I'm running a seven figure online business that feels even better than it looks. All from my house in small town Minnesota with my family here. We value time as our currency. We mix the woo and the work and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love. I've always loved turning big. Go into reality and I'm here to help you do the same. This isn't just a peek behind the curtain. Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down. Every week we tackle practical, no fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't. Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence. Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired and empowered. This is the Goal Digger podcast. You know that weird stuck feeling where everything in your life technically looks fine, but deep down it just isn't? Like maybe you're questioning your career, your friendships, your relationship, or even who you are. You've checked the boxes, you followed the rules, but you're still thinking, is this really it? If any of that sounds familiar, let me just say you are not alone. And today's guests, they are here to hand you the manual that they wish they had a decade ago. Krista Williams and Lindsay Simcik are the co hosts of almost 31 of the top wellness and personal growth podcasts out there. With over 120 million downloads and a devoted global community. They've led sold out retreats, hosted some of the world's biggest thought leaders, and launched powerful transformation programs like the Life Edit and the Sacredness of Being Single. And now they are launching their book. I am so excited for them. Their book is almost 30, a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. It's part roadmap, part pep talk, part big sister energy. I have gotten to look at this book and read it and it is so good. It is literally everything that they wish someone had told them during that messy middle between your 20s and 30s. And I would have given anything to have this guidebook back in that stage of my life. This episode is for you, if you've ever asked, okay, what am I doing with my life? Or Googled how to be an adult. More than once. We talk about what is a Saturn return. We walk through identity crisis, friendship, breakups, radio realignment without shame, and how to embrace the chaos without losing yourself in it. These two are two of my favorite women, both online and off, and it is just such a joy to sit down with them. So if you've ever felt like you are breaking down, maybe you're actually breaking through, we are here to prove it for you. Krista and Lindsay, welcome to the Gold Digger podcast. Okay, we are kicking this off with a banger, and I want to know what is one thing that you used to believe about success, relationships, or purpose that you now realize was total bs?
- [03:34]
Krista Williams
I think for me, that one thing is that there is the one. I think in media and society and culture, we're so programmed to believe that there's this one person that's going to save us, that's going to make our lives better, that's going to complete us, that's going to just give us all the answers. And for me, someone that got out of divorce around two years ago, not only did I realize how much that put me on the wrong path, but it also made me believe that there was something outside of myself that needed to save me, that there was a savior that was going to solve all of my problems, that there was something outside of myself that would make me happy, make me well, make me money, like whatever the things are. And now I just really believe that in life we're brought a lot of soulmates, we're brought a lot of people that can really help us to be the best versions of ourselves, and that no one person outside of us is going to complete us. I'm not saying that I don't want to find my husband or that person, but I really believe that when we look outside of ourselves for anything, we're always going to be lost.
- [04:33]
Lindsay Simcik
So good for me, I thought I needed to take the exact right steps to build my dream life to get to where I wanted to go. Basically, if I went to that certain college, majored in that certain thing, and then moved to that place and then pursued what everyone else thought I should pursue, that I was going to be fulfilled and I was going to be really, really happy. And that leaves no room for magic, and that leaves no room for God's plan, to be honest. And so I realized that I was pursuing this expired dream for a really long time and following this expired template and blueprint that a lot of people kind of laid out for. And so I just. I appreciate so much now leaning into what feels a little scary, a little unknown. You know, I. I love that feeling of, like, I actually don't know what the next two steps are going to be. And it really doesn't have to be that blueprint leading you to the life of your dreams.
- [05:43]
Jenna Kutcher
Ooh.
- [05:44]
Lindsay Simcik
So good.
- [05:45]
Jenna Kutcher
I am so lucky to know you both personally. And one of the things that I think you guys handle so differently, but, like, so similarly in the same, right, Is like, this idea of, like, glow ups and reinvention. Because I've watched you in the time that I've known you go through both of these things. And so what part of your old life did you secretly grieve, even though you chose to let it go? Because we're kind of talking about, like, letting go of ideas, beliefs, patterns, things like that. But what was something that was, like, a little harder to let go of?
- [06:19]
Krista Williams
I would say for me, letting go of the old identity I had around being, like, a hustler and being someone that felt like I had to be really business strategy forward, even masculine, you know, if we were to say masculine and feminine dynamics for so long at the beginning of our business building, it was kind of like girl boss era, where I was just, like, doing all the things, like doing all the lists, doing all the launches, doing all the external things. And I think I've been grieving that lately in the past couple years, because I want a softer life. I want a more feminine life. I want a slower life. But there's a part of me that still feels like I have to have that push and that hustle to live the way that I want. And so as I've been stepping into this acknowledgement that my life is gonna look different, I maybe won't make as much money, or I maybe won't be as outward or as public. When I move into a softer experience, I kind of have to grieve that old version of me that was such a hustler and a doer and a pusher and just love her and honor her and accept her, but just know that I can still have the life that I want, even if I'm slowing down, even if it doesn't mean I'm as public Even if it means that I'm going to prioritize different things. But it's a tough one. Like, your body gets addicted to that adrenaline and that stress as women. And I've been really grieving that, like, old experience. But stepping into the unknown and this really more spiritual soft life has been such a gift.
- [07:34]
Jenna Kutcher
I can relate. So I know.
- [07:36]
Krista Williams
I was like, I know my girl.
- [07:37]
Jenna Kutcher
Oh, yeah, you're speaking to my soul. Lindsay.
- [07:40]
Lindsay Simcik
I see those chickens in your backyard.
- [07:42]
Jenna Kutcher
I'm looking at the coop as we speak.
- [07:46]
Lindsay Simcik
Yeah. Similarly, like, I was just, go, go, go before becoming a mom, you know? And I know, I know you deeply relate to this. And then when your child comes into the world, everything changes, you know, And I don't know if I got to properly, like, prepare for that or usher myself into this season of my life and have kind of a proper grieving process. I think it was happening at the same time. I was, like, recovering postpartum and everything's chaotic, but at the same time, wonderfully new. What I realized was that, you know, I was in a season, a long season of focusing on myself for a really long time. And it was so purposeful and so meaningful and very necessary. For a long time, I had abandoned myself in relationships. I was, you know, living out other people's dreams for me. And when I became a mom, it was like this really relieving moment of like, oh, wow, it's not all about me anymore. And I know that's kind of weird to say out loud because I think a lot of people today are like, well, make sure you take care of yourself first and then your kids. And I completely agree, and I do have the tools and I have the know how. How to tune into myself what I need. But it is actually a really liberating thing to have someone else and my family to focus on. There are days I don't even look in the mirror. You know what I mean? So I had to. I think I'm still in the process of kind of, like, having moments of like, ah, I can't just, like, leave at any moment and go to yoga and get a pedicure, you know? But the joy of seeing my son grow every day and just watching our family become, you know, little family far outweighs that grief of, like, my true independence, you know? So I've really had to kind of grapple with that a little bit. But, yeah, it's been. It's been beautiful.
- [09:53]
Jenna Kutcher
Overall, I love that. I feel like, too, there are so many experiences, entrepreneurship and motherhood alike, where it's like you just don't know what you don't know. It's like anyone can literally explain it to you in a million different ways. You can take all the courses, listen to all the podcasts until you are in it. It is, like, so intense and wild, and you're like, oh, wow, okay, buckle up. And I feel like that is a lot of people's 30s, too. That is just so. There's so much coming at us. One thing that I want to go a little bit deep on with you two, especially because I know you both separately and together as a duo, is I feel like in your 30s, a lot of times, there's just a lot of areas of life that pull you in different directions from people you were once connected to. Right. It's like you're visualizing all these forks in the road, and people are choosing different forks, whether it's relationships or children or career or travel or like, whatever that is. And I feel like you guys have stayed connected to each other even as you've navigated these massive life transitions. And I think a lot of people navigating their 30s, you're losing people along the way, and you're also gaining people along the way. And there's this weird feeling of, like, where do I fit in in all of this, and do I have real friends, and how do I find friends? And so how have you two stayed connected while you've navigated such different life stages? Like, Chrissy, you're. You were going through a divorce. Lindsay, you're about to become a mom. You're both on such different trajectories in your own journeys, but you stayed connected. What has that looked like?
- [11:26]
Krista Williams
You know, I've been thinking about that recently because I've had Lindsay as a friend that's just been a stable friend in the past 10 years of my life. And then I've had friends come in and out, and there was one friend that I love deeply and was with me for a season. And I was realizing how I think if we just have things in common that hold us together or proximity, it's not as deep of a relationship as what I'm looking for. You know, I'm really looking for those soul ties, those intimate relationships, people that I can go through life with and people that are really dedicated to loving one another, even if we disagree, even if we're going on different paths, even if we don't do the same things. For me, growing up in a small town in Ohio, a lot of the relationships and friendships I had growing up were like, proximity, or we both loved to shop, or we both loved to, like, go drink or all of these things. And it's like, that wasn't real connection. At least it didn't feel like for me. And so now I really am focused on relationships that feel like we can grow together in a way where we're growing as people and humans, not only in the external, but also in the internal. And I think the way that Lindsay and I have committed to our relationship through all the changes and transitions is by committing to having really honest dialogue and conversations, you know, in our relationship, because we're business partners, it's really beautiful because it really makes us and forces us to stay connected and to stay communicating because we have money on the line, we have a team on the line, we have dreams on the line. We have so much. But just like a marriage, you have to be really honest in your communication. And I think when people can really think about in life, you know, for any woman that's listening, like, who are the two, the three, the five friends that you want to commit to deepening with you want to commit to staying connected to? Who are those women in your life that you promise and commit to having conversations that sometimes can feel sticky, that sometimes feel uncomfortable, but know you're going to bring you to a deeper relationship in a more true and authentic place? A lot of times, female friendships and relationships can have rupture or break or end because we almost let so much psychic debris and buildup come between us rather than just having a clearing and honest conversation. And as Lindsay was navigating her new relationship and then engagement and marriage and baby, as I was navigating my divorce and then his move out and, you know, kind of me starting to date again, like these totally opposite trajectories. We always just committed to having really honest conversations, like a clearing conversation, where we could just come together more deeply and more truthfully, rather than kind of getting caught up in the stories about what this means for me. If she's having a baby and I'm, you know, going on hinge dates, like, it's like, how can we just connect on, like, the soul level of our relationship rather than just, like, the external things, like what we're interested in or what we're doing that night.
- [14:11]
Lindsay Simcik
One of the most important aspects of our friendship, which is set the tone for, like, what I look for in any relationship is just that honoring of the other person through seasons of change, you know, being able to witness them, being able to hold them, being able to respect Their process, I think, is so incredibly important. And I think we have a hard time with that because we have a relationship with change that we might need to tend to. You know, a lot of people find it hard to change, you know, find it hard to experience change in another person. You know, I can imagine a lot of people listening, maybe in your early 20s, maybe you had a partner or a best friend who was going through a season of change. And I think at that point in our lives, we make it about just a reaction. It's like, why are you changing? I know you as someone else, you know, how am I supposed to relate to you now that you're different? And I think as our brain changes, especially in our mid to late 20s, where prefrontal cortex is coming online, our logical thinking, our decision making, our long term planning comes online, our ability to recognize nuance and really emotionally regulate all of that is happening during that time, we're then able to bring that to our relationships and really treat one another with a lot more respect, to be honest. You know, respect for people's timing, for their process. You know, I, I will never insert myself as a friend unless they're harming themselves. And there's something I need to flag. But I have found so much joy in just witnessing my friends, especially Christa and her process. Christa's so committed to growth and knowing herself more deeply. And for me to insert myself in that and say, please don't grow, that makes me feel uncomfortable, would just be so rude.
- [16:12]
Jenna Kutcher
You know, I love what you were saying. I recently did a post about just like, how in your journey, like, people fall in love with different versions of you, right? And. And I feel like you were just talking about that, Krista, too, where it's like people come into areas of your life and it's like you have this one thing in common, but when that thing changes, or if it changes, you realize, like, wait, what do we even have to talk about? And it's interesting too, being public and sharing your life online, because people enter in at different stages of the journey and that's the, maybe the stage that relates to them the most or they connect with the most. And so it's like this constant meeting of ourselves, but also reintroducing ourselves to the world as we continue to grow and change, and also the permission to let ourselves go and grow and let other people go in and out. And so I feel like your 30s is such a defining time of your life. Just in that stage of like getting okay with that and recognizing like this is just how life works, but also getting comfortable with like yourself changing. And one of the things that you guys talk about and I literally still do not understand it, so please just lay it out for me is what is the Saturn return? Because I feel like the way that I know this, it plays into all of this. But like first off, what is it and like what are some signs that somebody's in the thick of it? Because I feel like that plays well into all of these changes and evolutions and growth.
- [17:34]
Lindsay Simcik
Yeah, the Saturn return. We wrote this book basically based on our experience during our Saturn return, which is a time in your late 20s when the planet Saturn. Take a journey with me for a moment. Astrologically speaking, the planet Saturn is in a place when you are born. And about 29 and a half years later on average, Saturn comes back to that same sign spot. And Saturn is a planet that will work with you and work on you throughout your life. But at this point it is coming back to check in on you. And this planet is kind of like the father planet, like father energy of like, hey, let's have a little tough love moment. I want to check in on your relationships. I want to know how you're feeling about what you do career wise, basically checking in on alignment, what is aligned and what is not. And it seems in my experience that what is not aligned will be magnified and might feel chaotic, it might feel like it's breaking down. For me, it was a long term relationship who I thought would be my person, it was my relationship with money. It was so many things that we can go into. But it really feels like your life is falling apart. You feel incredibly lost, like you should be farther along, like you should know everything by now. But really you are not lost. This is a time where you are becoming, you are becoming more you, you know, becoming more connected to your soul. And that soul part of you is just the most beautiful, deeply connected to the divine. Whatever you believe. We say God, but insert what feels good to you. It is that part of you that knows that loving part of you that is non judgmental, that is so compassionate, that is always there. And I really believe this period of your life is meant to transform you into a person that will never abandon yourself again or in the perfect scenario, but that really is clear about who she is and who she wants to be in the world. And that doesn't mean everything is set now, it just means that you have a better compass and guidance system.
- [19:49]
Jenna Kutcher
Dude, now that you're saying this, I'm like, okay, during my Saturn return, I.
- [19:53]
Lindsay Simcik
Was going to ask you moved back.
- [19:55]
Jenna Kutcher
Home to Minnesota after being gone for like 12 or 13 years. I was basically zipping up my wedding photography business, shooting my last wedding ever, about to become a mom after two miscarriages, and totally changing my business model to support what I wanted in motherhood. So now that you're saying this, I'm like, yeah, this lands. It very much lands. Oh, my gosh. Krista, do you have anything to add to this?
- [20:21]
Krista Williams
Yeah, it's funny. Cause I was thinking about you and our friendship, and I was like, I know that we've talked about where you've been at this time, and so I'm grateful for that reminder of where you've been. And I think what people can look for in their late 20s, the Saturn return period, not only when the planet Saturn is coming back to the natal point in your chart, but also your prefrontal cortex is coming online. So there's a little bit of neuroscience in there. So that means basically that the conscious part of your thinking comes online. So where before in life, you were kind of going with what society told you to do, what your parents wanted you to be like, kind of what everyone else was doing around you, you're now actually looking at your life with a different lens, where you're like, what do I want? Who do I want to be like? For you, you're just like, what do I want to do with my business? How do I want to show up? How do I want to live? How do I want to express and create? And I think for a lot of people, they can feel really alone during this time. I think you can feel like you're doing something wrong. If everything around you is crumbling, you can feel like, you know, you're off path or you're off course. I know for me, I felt really off. I was so desperate to find a purpose in life. I was so desperate to find meaning in life that I felt really lost along the way. And our goal and intention with the book and the podcast has always been to help people feel less alone. That in their seeking. It's actually a good thing when people want to create a life that they love and when they want to live with meaning and purpose. That's such a beautiful aspect of what it means to be human. And the more we can equip them with the tools and resources and reminders, you know, the better I'm off and the better hopefully people are as well.
- [21:54]
Jenna Kutcher
I love. I love this. I was having a conversation with somebody yesterday at my Kitchen island. And we were talking about how it's so funny how we're so quick to like, judge the timing of our life, right? Like, we're so quick to be like, why is this happening? Or what's going on? And then it's like we look back and we're like, it all makes sense. So if looking back, back, it makes all the sense, then why in the now is it like, so challenging? And so one thing we were saying is, like, sometimes when things get hard, we question, like, okay, is this showing me that this isn't the path, or is this showing me that I need to overcome the challenge to reach it? And so what would you say to help somebody really, like, establish what is the difference between a needed change versus like a pattern that might need to be overcome? Or like, self sabotage or like a limiting belief? Like, do you guys have any answers on that? I feel like I still deal with that to this day.
- [22:46]
Krista Williams
I know same, I think when I think about that overall question, you know, like, is this me, Is this not a fit type of thing? I remember being in my marriage, you know, at the end of my relationship and wondering that same thing. I'm like, is this normal, hard? Like, am I just not meeting the lessons and sort of the conversations? Am I not approaching this in the right way? Or is this not a fit? And a lot of people can think about that for career or entrepreneurship or friendships, like, what is the normal amount of effort we should be putting into things and trying? Where is my limiting beliefs coming in? Where am I self sabotaging? And I think we can approach things with such consciousness and reverence and really taking self responsibility. Like, if I'm fully responsible for this entire experience that I'm in, what would that look like? Like, what does it fully mean to be responsible for my entire experience and in my relationship container of my marriage, you know, I spent like a year in that where I was like, okay, I'm fully responsible. What does that mean? How am I gonna show up? What are all the lessons that I'm gonna look at? What are all the patterns that I'm gonna look at? And then after spending a good amount of time in that space, I really felt confident and comfortable knowing that it wasn't a fit for me anymore and that I could move on. So I think when we take responsibility for every single thing that's happening in our life, whether it's businesses not working or flowing, or whether it's something's not happening in the right time, and then once we have that fully Conscious awareness of what isn't working and why. We can sort of be in the present moment of seeing what feels good and what doesn't. I think that's a really beautiful second step is like, what is feeling good and easy for me now? Like, what is feeling like? It's just working naturally. Where am I resisting the things that are easy? Where am I resisting the things that are right for me and moving more towards those things? And I think the third thing that I think about now, it's a phrase that I use all the time just in my life, is I always say, this can only be good. You know, everything that happens to me, I just say, this can only be good. Like as an example in dating, if something doesn't happen the way I want or in business, if, you know, we're not getting the traction that I want or things aren't happening in the way that I believe should be happening, I just remember this can only be good. I'm like, this can only be good. I just can't see it now. Because we all know those experiences in life where we've been through things and on the other side of it, we understand why, we understand why we got fired or why we left the job, or why we moved or why we had the friendship breakup. We can kind of see clearly in hindsight. And so I can only not see now what is good. And so I always say, this can only be good. Just as a mantra.
- [25:20]
Lindsay Simcik
Lindsay and I just wanted to touch on that self sabotage piece. When I was able to know what self sabotage felt like in my body and know what expansion or being on the edge of expansion felt like in my body, everything changed. For so long when I was on the edge of expanding, of like just kind of getting to that next level. Me, I thought it was not for me. I thought because it felt a little scary, that it felt like too much change would have to happen. I would step back. And so to me, self sabotage in my body feels like I'm like kind of leaning back in a way that's like contracting. So I think this is kind of a nuanced thing. If you feel a little bit disconnected from your body, I would give you a few more steps before this one. But you know, that feeling of contraction, of just kind of pulling back, of slipping into what you've always known, kind of coming from a place of fear rather than curiosity and love. And then when I am presented with something, which, you know, example for me would be when I met my now husband, so many aspects of what he Brought up in me and between us was so expansive, but it really called me to lean in. It called me to communicate clearly. It called me to be honest and to be frank. I wasn't doing in that in my previous relationships. And so I kind of. I contracted at first. I was like, oh, this is hard. I don't know if this relationship is for me, you know? And then I was like, no, no, no. I know without, like, an ounce of doubt, truly, when I, like, tap into what my soul says, this is my person. And what does being in a relationship that is literally like a soul connection mean? It means that you're going to be called to these moments that feel a little sticky, but they are the door through which you will walk to become more of who you are. And so expansion for me at first might feel like fear, but quickly afterwards, there's this, like, excitement of, like, okay, I've been here before. I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I am willing to lean in, leading with my heart and just trusting that this moment will sculpt me into what I'm becoming. So, yeah, it's like a nuanced feeling that I think you can practice in your everyday, you know, in like, smaller lessons, less intense moments. But I think tuning into my body really helped me to. To decipher whether it was sabotage or expansion.
- [28:03]
Jenna Kutcher
I love that. I feel like it's something that you, like, learn literally throughout your life. And it's like, it's so funny because I feel like even an example this week, it was like, I got invited to this really cool thing to speak, and it felt like right in the middle of our summer. And like, we wait all year for summer here in Minnesota. So, like, that is, like the protected time of my life of, like, with kids and everything. And it was one of those things where it, like, sat in my inbox for a while, not because I was, like, being lazy or like, I was too busy to get around to it, but just, like, sat there and it was so interesting because I actually did feel it in my body of, like, this is a really admirable request and it's still a no. And it's so. I feel like one of the things that we've all learned in our own different ways is like, the pause and the quiet is, like, where the answers come up, not the noisy and loud. And I feel like you have to learn how to get quiet. I feel like that is something that just keeps coming up and up and up. Okay, I want to talk something. Yeah.
- [29:08]
Krista Williams
To that. Just because this is what. One of the reasons why I admire you so much and why I'm so grateful that you are an example for women is because you truly continue to prioritize. It makes me emotional. You truly continue to prioritize the right things. Like, I think we can really get caught up in the people that are just reaching for like an endless goal that never ends and are really propelled by and driven by a feeling of not enoughness or a feeling of never having enough. And it is so inspiring as a woman to hear you say that. Like, yeah, I still get really great opportunities, but I still say no because that's not where my priorities are. And it doesn't mean that, that we can't have goals or ambitions or dreams. But it's like, I just think it's so important. And I have to say this for myself, I think this is medicine for me. It's like, how can we still come back to what are our values? Are we living in accordance to our values and what we want to create and how we want to live? And I think that's such a beautiful example of you being spacious about your reply, you tuning into your body, you thinking about your values, you thinking about your family and being like, even with a really great opportunity, this isn't aligning with those things. And as you get bigger and more successful, it's almost like you have to have a stronger no. I think there are people feel like it's more yeses, but it's actually stronger no's. And I think what you just shared is just so powerful as a reminder for people that you can still have success in a life that you want and to live in accordance to your values. But it means you're going to be saying no at times where it feels like the old version of you would have died for that opportunity.
- [30:40]
Lindsay Simcik
Yes.
- [30:41]
Jenna Kutcher
Oh, and you know what, Krista too. It's like you never see people's nose, right? You don't see them. Like, you can't see them. And that is like the thing that I was thinking about so deeply this week is like we are only seeing people's yeses and we're also not naturally connecting in our brains. That the yeses led to a different no. Like, we can't see it. It's not visual, it's not like a tangible thing. I just this Week asked chat GBT, I said, Give me a list of 10 women who have found so much success and who used to be in the spotlight, who have decided to live a more quiet Peace filled life. And it was names that popped up that I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I haven't even thought about them in a while. Not because they're not successful, they're probably more successful. And it was just a prompt of like, show me that. That to me, that is success. Right? To, like, step back. And so it was just such an interesting thing is like, we can't see that version of success, and yet that's probably where most of us would feel most successful. And it's just an interesting thing that I think a lot of women are, like, waking up to. So thank you for that. That is very sweet. One of the things that you guys say in your intro is like, perhaps our messes were our awakening. And I feel like we should touch on this because I often think, just like success, our messes aren't the most physical, tangible, easy to see and understand things and parts of our lives. So tell me about a mess that you went through that like, literally didn't make sense at the time. And now you're like, I have so much gratitude for it.
- [32:20]
Lindsay Simcik
Yeah. In my late 20s, I was in the wake of just a major breakup. I thought I was going to marry my college sweetheart. I would have bet money on it. I told my nana. He was the one. You know, when you tell Nana, I mean, it just like solidifies things. And then I started to hear just little whispers from that inner voice, that soul speak that. That made me question, you know, and rightfully so. There was just some pretty glaring misalignments. And instead of having, you know, a mature, emotionally mature conversation with this person, I didn't have those tools at the time. I cheated. And I blew up the relationship completely. In the wake of that, I was just severely disconnected from myself. Like, who. Who would have hurt the person that they love so much? Like, who are you? I just felt very low, very depressed at the time. And it thrust me into what I didn't know was going to be about seven years of being single. And I would not have signed up for that, like, if they told me at the beginning of that period. However, this period of chasing after the wrong people, settling for less than I deserve, just the chaos of dating in LA at the time brought me to a place of what you just expressed, which was quiet. There was a time probably about five years in, where I was like, you know what? I think I'm going to take some time away from dating and just really get quiet. And that's where I birthed the sacredness of being single. That's where it started, where I just realized that I have an opportunity right now in the mess of trying so desperately to find my person, to actually get into right relationship with myself and to set the tone for every other relationship in my life. Like, this is my time. And so for the next couple years, I made a commitment to really date myself. That would literally look like taking myself out on dates and spending time with myself without distraction in the way of phones or anything like that. And just I learned to be in my own company, be in my own energy, and it was the best. The best. And it's also a practice that I still do today as a mom and a wife. You know, I think to know what it feels like to be in your own energy helps you to pour into other people, to not over give, to not over function, which I think we as women do so so much. And so that serious mess of just feeling like I was just desperately waiting to be chosen by someone and pretzeling myself into other forms to be liked turned into an experience that helped me to come back to myself and commit to never abandoning myself ever, ever again.
- [35:18]
Jenna Kutcher
That's so good. Christa, what was that for you? I mean, I'm sure we all have a million. Like, we've been here all day.
- [35:25]
Krista Williams
Honestly, it was. I was. I was like, what is the best mess for this conversation? You know, because I think in life, we just feel like so much of what we go through feels like a mess. And I don't know if that was just kind of my experience, but I think the biggest mess that it turned into something really beautiful that I didn't know it at the time was finding Lindsay and starting the podcast. You know, when we first met, I was dead set on becoming a Soul Cycle instructor. I was so determined to be a Soul Cycle instructor. I thought I wanted to be on the bike in front of people, you know, all the things. And I auditioned twice, and I didn't get it. And during the process of trying to become a Soul Cycle instructor, I actually started to get vocal lessons because I sounded so bad on the microphone in front of a class during my audition, and I didn't know that would set me up for the podcast. And really that rock bottom moment of thinking that I was meant to be a Soul Cycle instructor and trying my best and trying to do all these things, but eventually being connected through Lindsay, to Lindsay, through it, because she was an instructor herself, we started to have really deep, meaningful conversations on our closet floors where we were talking about relationships and our bodies and we were Talking about what we wanted out of life, and we were talking about our dreams. And so where I felt like in my mind of this perception I had for this career and this path of being a Soul cycle instructor, after being in the corporate world for so long, I met someone that became a soulmate of mine and now is my business partner. And I didn't even see it. It wasn't something I tried for, it wasn't something I efforted for, but it was something I did that felt really good, that I approached with no agenda. And I think in life, we can find these really beautiful moments where we just follow what feels good and we don't put, like, any constraints on it, and we don't put agendas on it, and we allow it to unfold in a way that feels really natural and beautiful. And sometimes in life, it can be these things that we just don't see a vision for or a future for that turn out to be something better than we could have ever imagined. Because sometimes our visions and dreams can just kind of limit what we have going. So I would say it was failing at becoming a Soul cycle instructor and finding Lindsay and starting the podcast on our closet floor.
- [37:34]
Jenna Kutcher
Oh, my gosh. I'm sure your cortisol thanks you for not getting into that other career. Just kidding.
- [37:40]
Krista Williams
I think I will attend myself.
- [37:42]
Lindsay Simcik
Yeah.
- [37:42]
Jenna Kutcher
Yeah. You know, it's so funny, you two, because I have such a visceral memory of being in LA with you, eating at this really cute vegan restaurant after I did an interview for your show before my book was coming out. Like, it. It is. So there are things I remember about that blur, but, like, for some reason, that meal and us together, it just was. Was literally magical. We were talking about everything from, like, red light masks to, like, your soul's purpose to raising babies to. I mean, everything. We literally covered the gamut. And I want to know, because in that conversation, we had started talking about your book, and your book is about to come out into the world. And I've been close to you through this journey. And so how has it been? How did it come to fruition? Like, walk me through it, catch me up to speed, and pretend like we're back at that amazing restaurant.
- [38:33]
Lindsay Simcik
I just want to say about Jenna Kutcher.
- [38:34]
Krista Williams
Yeah.
- [38:35]
Lindsay Simcik
Jenna Kutcher is the most generous human being on the planet. You know, I think sometimes, you know, you meet people that you admire, and you're like. And then you meet Jenna, and she is everything and more and just so, like, you do not gatekeep you shared with us so much wisdom about your book writing process. The tactical, the energetic, like it was so, so helpful. And I'm just so grateful for our friendship and just for that ability to learn from you in so many different ways. So thank you because I remember that, I remember that early 5 o' clock dinner very well. Maybe it was 4pm but the book writing process was so fun, I have to say. Like, maybe that's a boring answer but Kristen and I, we always knew we wanted to write a book and we just didn't know when. You know, I think every time we kind of thought about should we write a book now, it just wasn't quite the right time. And when our agent approached us, Tess, who's just the best of the best, she really saw, she understood what we were doing in the world and how a book would just be an incredible extension of what we do. And from there overall it really flowed in how we wrote. And I think what was confronting about the process was one sharing things that we've never shared before. As always, we're pretty vulnerable and open. But to put it into writing was just a different story. And I think for me, I'll just speak from my experience lately. It's like when the business of the book comes around where it's like, okay, now we sell the book and we market the book, it's kind of out of the creative process or what I felt like was the creative process. I got so in my head, to be completely honest with you. And I still have to monitor that because I really want to remember and retain how we've already been successful in writing this book. That for me is the point, the fact that we did this, we truly wrote this book and we wrote it together and we're so proud of it. To have that creative pride is just something I strive for and we did it. So I, I want to remain like in perspective throughout this. I obviously want it to be in as many hands as possible and that's like our one of our goals. But I do want to just like honor that. Like we've done it.
- [41:05]
Jenna Kutcher
You know, real quick before you chime in. Krista, I think this brings up such a beautiful point because I remember us sitting there and like I, I felt like I was one of the first in the sense of I enjoyed every part of the process which was, is just rare. I've been around so many authors and it's like either people love the writing process and hate the selling or they hate the writing and they love the selling. And it was Just like, I am committed to doing this in a way that, like, feels great the whole way through. But I feel like this part of your story right now is so relatable, no matter what people are doing, because oftentimes we stay in creation mode because it's where we get to express and we get to do it. When it comes to the promotion, that actually feels more vulnerable than the most vulnerable page. You wrote in that book, right? It's like you're putting it out there and being like, here is my life's work. Hold it well. Like, receive it, and I hope it lands. Like. And that happens on social media, whether it's like creating post after post after post, and you just. You just let it die because you're like, I. Putting it back out there feels so sacred and hard and vulnerable. And so this is so applicable, whatever it is that you're selling and however you're putting yourself out there. And I just think it's good that we touch on that because we're all in a cycle of that, whether we see it or not. What has it been like for you, Krista?
- [42:26]
Krista Williams
Yeah. Double clicking, underlining, falling out of my chair, nodding at you. Because I. I am so grateful to talk about this part in this component because there's so many women that you support, Entrepreneurs, creatives, people that have big things that they want to share, people that have something on their heart. And I loved the writing process. I could be at my house in my sweatpants and, you know, doing my thing, just no one bothering me. I was like, yay, creation, writing. And then in the process of putting it out there, of asking for help, of needing to receive, of, you know, seeing if people. The selling aspect of it, the marketing aspect of it is where I've really had to work on my limiting beliefs. I've really had to work on the aspects of me that are so afraid of failure, the aspects of me that are perfectionist parts. You know, I very much have a perfectionist part that's like, I want the perfect thing to happen in the perfect way. And this, if this happens, this means I'm successful. If this happens, this means I'm not successful. And the part of me that's afraid to receive from people, you know, I'm desperately wanting help from people. But then when it comes to the moment where I need to ask for help, I'm resistant and I'm hesitant and I'm all these things. So what I love about entrepreneurship is that it always shows you where you need healing, and it always shows you where you need to look at yourself, and it always shows you where you can be better and more loving to yourself. So I've had a really beautiful healing opportunity in this process of letting go of my perfectionist part, allowing myself to enjoy the process, and really just seeing how much fun I can have. And I think the underlying core, foundational part that applied to me, that I'm hopeful can apply to some of your listeners who are entrepreneurs and creatives, is just getting really clear on the why. And for me, as someone that not much that I do is ever good enough, like Lindsay knows we'll leave interviews and do anything, and I'm like, oh, I could have done this better. Could have done this. This book, I truly believe, is incredible. I believe it's helpful. I believe it's everything I wanted it to be and more. And so that foundational piece of I know what this can do, and I know that this can help, sort of helps me supersede any of the fears that I have, because then it's more about the book and the message of the book than it is about me. When I make it about me. Of they like me if they buy it. They don't like me if they don't buy it or anything that just involves my story and my ego a little too much. I'm kind of out of the. I'm out of the energy that I want to be in. The energy that I want to be in is that I have this beautiful book that I think will really help people in times of change and transition. And I know that the messages in it are good, and I know the messages in it are truthful and meaningful and helpful. And so now that makes me easier to more promote it or market it or sell it, rather than making it like you guys, like me if you buy it. So for anyone listening that has a creation or thing that they're putting out in the world, how can we get really clear on the why? And once we do that, the how really becomes easy.
- [45:32]
Jenna Kutcher
I love this. And as an author, let me just tell you, if you ever want anybody's best work, go buy the book. Because there is something about solidifying something in print that will make you force you to put your best work inside of it. It is the cheapest way to learn from the people you love the most and to experience the wholeness of their story and their expertise. So I will tell you, every person I've met that's written a book, they're like, that is. That is my best work. That is it. In A beautifully packaged and I love that. Can you give us just one little quick teaser of something in the book and then tell us where everyone can go and grab it and also learn more from you.
- [46:17]
Lindsay Simcik
One little quick teaser. Okay. This book is a full meal, as Krista has been saying it is. You are going to get our personal stories, things that we've never shared before about our journey. Yes, in our late twenties, but just themes that have shown up for us throughout our lives. You'll get wisdom from people like Jenna Kutcher in our book and more because we've just spoken to hundreds of people over the years that have changed our life and trajectories based on their experience and work in the world. We have tactical practices and just moments of integration because this book is an experience. You know you're not going to read it in 24 hours. This is going to be the guidebook in your back pocket that will help to usher you through change.
- [47:01]
Jenna Kutcher
I love that. Give us the title, Krista, and where everybody can find it.
- [47:06]
Krista Williams
The title of the book is called Almost 30. It's a definitive guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond. And you can get it at almost30.com book or wherever you get your books. We also have the audiobook that we just recorded a few weeks ago in New York, which is my favorite part of it. So definitely get the audiobook if you like to listen to things on audio.
- [47:26]
Jenna Kutcher
Awesome. And ladies, where can everybody find you and connect with you? Your podcast is one of my faves. It has been for years. So give us all the other places too.
- [47:34]
Krista Williams
Go to almost30.com for anything about almost 30. We have so many episodes with Jenna, so you can search almost 30 Jenna if you want to. Just find our conversations because those have been some of my favorite as well. And then almost 30 podcasts on Instagram or TikTok on YouTube as well. And you can find me on Instagram. It's at.
- [47:50]
Lindsay Simcik
It's Krista and I'm at Lindsay Simcik.
- [47:54]
Jenna Kutcher
Amazing. Thank you guys so much. I'm so excited to celebrate with you. I can't wait till we're all in the flesh again.
- [48:00]
Lindsay Simcik
And I know just.
- [48:02]
Jenna Kutcher
Bravo. Congratulations. I'm so excited for the world to receive your work.
- [48:06]
Lindsay Simcik
Love you.
- [48:10]
Jenna Kutcher
I love all of my podcast guests, but I especially love these two women. It has been so amazing to just watch, watch their lives unfold and I feel like I get both like a front row seat and a backstage pass to what is happening in their worlds as just friends online. And offline and getting to watch them get this book out into the world has just been such a joy. I feel like a big sister. Like being like, come on, trust the process. You've done something amazing. I've gotten to read their book. It's just incredible. And so I hope if this episode resonated and their journeys hit a chord for you in any part of them. If you see yourself reflected in Krista and Lindsay, I hope you go grab a copy of their book. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. Without you, this podcast wouldn't even exist and I just feel so lucky that I get to pour into your life no matter what stage you're in. So just thank you for being here. If you know someone who would benefit from this conversation, take a quick second, share this episode with them. It would mean the world to me and Lindsay and Krista and just thank you so much for spending this time with me. Until next time, Gold Digger Keep on digging your biggest goals. Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger podcast. I hope today's episode fueled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business. If you've enjoyed today's episode, head over to goldiggerpodcast.com for today's show. Notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more. And if you if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show. We'll see you next time. Gold Diggers.