← The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
The Goal Digger Podcast | Top Business and Marketing Podcast for Creatives, Entrepreneurs, and Women in Business
926: What I Wish You’d Ask Me… And the Answers I’ve Been Holding Back Until Now
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This is your last call. The Podcast Lab, my signature podcasting program, is closing its doors really soon. If you've been dreaming about launching your own show and using your voice to grow your business or brand, now is the time. Inside, I'll walk you through my exact five step system that's helped thousands of students go from where do I even start? To confidently launching a podcast that attracts listeners and new clients in just 30 days. You'll get plug and play templates, strategy packed lessons, episode checklists, and everything I use for this show. Your message matters, but nothing changes until you hit record. So don't let this moment pass you by. Enroll in the Podcast lab now@teachmetopodcast.com you can get started today for just 39. Again, that's teachmetopodcast.com doors are closing soon. I hope I see you inside. Teachmetopodcast.com There are things that I have never said on this podcast and it's not because they're secrets, but because no one's ever asked me. So today I want to open that door. And my hope is in that hearing my answers to these questions, you'll start to ask yourself the hard questions that nobody is asking you. I'm Jenna Kutcher and I help you trade hustle for purpose and build a business that gives you the life you actually want to live. From a $300 Craigslist camera to a seven figure business I run from home, I've learned that success isn't just about what you do, it's about how you live. Here you'll get strategies that work, systems that give you your time back, and steps that turn your effort into results and impact. If you're ready for clarity, confidence, and a business that feels as good as it look looks, you're in the right place. This is the Goal Digger Podcast I've been doing this podcast for a very long time, and one of the things that I do before I interview absolutely anybody is I ask them one of my favorite questions, which is, what is something that nobody is asking you but you wish they would. It's basically my way of inviting that guest to go off script, to speak from their heart, to share what's tugging at them behind the scenes. Maybe it's something that is keeping them up at night. Maybe it's a truth they're still processing. Maybe it's a story they've been dying to tell. Or maybe even it's just a quiet obsession that has nothing to do with what they're known for. And so today I'M turning the tables. I am answering the questions that I wish people would ask me, the ones that kind of live under the surface of assumptions, the ones that would let me open up about what's really been shifting in my health, in motherhood, marriage, business, and beyond. Some of these questions come from curiosity, some from criticism, but all of them crack open a piece of where I'm at right now and where I'm going next. Let's dive on in. Okay, so you want to hear something funny? So I came up with this episode months ago. I think it's a great idea. I'm actually really excited about the idea. However, I have been pushing off recording it for months, like, it existed on our schedule months ago. And then I'd be like, next month, I'll do it. Next month I'll do it. And I just kept pushing it off. And I think at the core of it, I want to answer as honestly as I can. I want to just, like, quote, go there, and there's a lot of fear in that. And I also want to make sure that I am super aware and super conscious and just really grounded in whatever my truth is right now, in this moment. And I literally put this off until the very last moment. Like, those are the episodes where I know something good will hopefully come out of it, but it's scary. And so maybe if you're just, like, tuning in and you're like, at some point, you become fearless. Nope, that doesn't happen. But I hope that wherever you are listening to this from, you maybe just kind of hold a mirror up to yourself and ask yourself similar questions. Right? Okay. So, I mean, let's just dive off the deep end. I don't think there's any other way to begin. So the first question is, what's something you're processing in therapy that you haven't fully figured out yet? I mean, life, right? Everything. So I started therapy over two years ago, and that was, you know, 35 years too late. Therapy has been just such a gateway to cracking open, like, what the fullness of life can be, and also just, like, who you really are and why you are the way you are. And I think it's been so beautiful. I think it has helped me so much as a mom. I think it has helped me be a better wife, a better daughter. And I would say right now, something that I'm processing in therapy and something that's been kind of a long, long journey is really just the unwiring of trying to stay ahead in all the things there's this thing that we really nailed down, me and my therapist, about how I've always had this belief, like, if I just stay ahead, if I'm always ready, like, nothing bad can happen. And this belief causes me to constantly feel like I'm not doing enough and I need to do more, I need to get more ahead, I need to save more, I need to be more, I need to show up more. And I think a lot of it stems from my early days as a really serious gymnast. When I was growing up, during the school year, we were at the gym from 4:30 to 8:45, four nights a week. And during the summer, we were at the gym from like 12:30 to 8:45. And so when you think about that amount of hours as a young girl, I. It was my passion. I mean, I was obsessed with it. But when I look back a lot in terms of, like, my work ethic, not only did I work really hard in the gym, but I had to basically get all of my life things done so I could be in the gym. So I would do homework during lunch and recess and on the bus, and anytime we had free time, I would be trying to get ahead of my schoolwork so that I could be fully present at the gym. And even things like my chores and things like that. It's like I always had to be ahead just so I could be in the day that I was in. And I think that was beautiful. I mean, it taught me so much work ethic. Like, I can put my head down and do work like nobody's business. But I also think that as I've gotten older and maybe a little wiser, I have really started to try to like, untether this belief that has me constantly moving. Like, I. I have a really hard time resting, I have a really hard time relaxing because there's always more to do and there's always more to get ahead on. And it's interesting because even in my business, I feel like it shows up and it's really beautiful because my team is not ever working, like, up to the last minute. We've worked with so many teams over the years and we're like, we could not do that. Like, we are always working so far, and I think it gives us peace. And there's very little urgency and stress in my business. But I also think that it's tied to an unconscious belief or a pattern that maybe isn't going to serve me in this next stage of life. And so, I mean, I've processed a lot in therapy, a million different things but that's one thing where I feel like I'm just constantly untangling this desire to constantly be productive, to measure my worth with my productivity, to kind of have those two things be at ahead with each other when I have a really deep desire to rest and to relax and to enjoy and be present. And so that's one thing. The other thing too, that I think is really interesting is, is my therapist recently said something and I was like, huh, I guess I never thought about that. And she said, you know, time out of therapy is just as important as time in therapy, meaning it is just as important to be able to integrate and like, do the work and to see the reflections and to be introspective. And I think oftentimes entrepreneurs, we're always trying to like, get ahead, stay ahead. We're always reading and consuming other people's content and learning the new strategies. And I think that that thought of like, time out of therapy is just as important as time in therapy is also true in terms of work. It's like, how often do we really put a strong filter on what we're consuming and how that impacts how we're showing up and like, how are we integrating in our life and not just constantly challenging ourselves to be learning and doing more. And so that's one thing among many that I've been thinking about with therapy. Okay, question number two is you have built a beautiful brand in marriage, but how do you keep your partnership strong when so much of life pulls you in opposite directions? Okay, this is interesting. And it's really been such a journey. I literally had a dream last night about me and Drew and just like, how long we've been together. We've hit the point in our life life where we've been together longer than we haven't been together, which is wild, right? Like, so we've been together half of our lives and the other day somebody DM'd me and they were like, are you still with your husband? I feel like I don't see him as much. And we have really been on this quest of like, more privacy over the past few years. You know, three years ago, I stopped sharing my girls faces online around that time. Drew really stopped posting online recently. A few months ago, he deleted Instagram altogether. And so I have always been hyper aware of, you know, my feed. And I chose this platform and this platform chose me. And I understand what it is and how it works. And so anyone that I'm going to bring into that fold, I want to be so conscious of. And I Want them to, like, have consent in. And so we just have gotten really private. And I think that's really good. Like, I've. I've really loved it. We are at a really interesting place in our marriage that is really exciting to me, and it feels really new in that over the last seven years, Drew has dedicated his entire life to being a stay at home dad. And now our girls are in school, and so he's kind of facing a really cool opportunity in the sense of, like, what do I want to do with my days? Like, my kids are in school. How do I want to fill my days? How do I want to fill my time? Like, what do I want to do just for me. And I'm also in a really pivotal place with my career of, like, what do I want to do next? And what do I want this next chapter to look like? And it's been really interesting because, you know, we've been through many different evolutions and iterations of life together since we first met. And I feel like we're really on the cusp of, like, the next chapter. And something that I think is really interesting in this next chapter is, like, I have always kind of been the natural leader of, like, okay, here's the vision. Here's what we're going after. Can you see it? This is amazing. And Drew's. I was like, yes, I get it. This is great. And I just have this deep desire for this next chapter to. For both of us to have, like, ownership as. To, like, what do we want for ourselves as humans outside of motherhood, outside of partnership, outside of all the different roles we played. And then also, what is our shared vision for our family, for our lives? And so it's like this beautiful thing of, like, growing into our own humans and continuing that evolution, while also, like, again, creating a new vision that feels so vivid, so clear, that, like, we're both just chasing after it together. And so it's been really great. We recently started couples coaching, so we went to a marriage retreat. Gosh, I think it was over a year ago. It was phenomenal. Led by an amazing woman, Julia Woods. And we started working with her as a couple. And it has been so amazing because essentially, I was noticing that as we were getting closer to school starting, I felt like I had my life on hold of. Like, okay, once September starts and the kids are both in school, we'll know how this feels and then we'll figure it out. And I really recognize, like, one. I don't want to wait until we get there to start Figuring out, what do we want? And two, I wanted someone to help us with this, like, new shared vision, and, like, where do we want to go? I mean, it feels like we're just on the cusp of, like, a whole new chapter in our life as parents, in our marriage. And so it's been so beautiful, and it's really got us into much deeper conversations where I feel like in recent years with little kids, it's like, at the end of the day, you just kind of go to bed and you're like, all right, we're good. And so it's been really beautiful where we've had just opportunities, have super deep conversations of, like, what do we want? What are we curious about? What do we want to teach our girls? And how do we want to do that? And so it's been really awesome. So I would say that my only advice is, like, staying on the same page and just consistently working together on what do you want this next chapter to look like? And it's been really beautiful and kind of we feel like we're, like, unlocking something new. This podcast is brought to you by Mercury Banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money. Okay. I remember in the early days of my entrepreneurship journey, clients would literally mail me checks, and then I would have to drive all the way to the bank to deposit them. It took me literal years to make things go digital, and I am ashamed to admit I still have a filing cabinet with paper contracts because I'm way too afraid to throw them away. 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But then I kept hearing about the skims fits everybody collection everywhere, and I finally gave in and I tried it, and I totally get the hype now. The fabric is ridiculously Soft and stretchy, but not in that cheap way where it loses its shape. It literally feels like it was made for your body specifically. And I'm not even kidding when I say I forget I'm wearing anything half the time. It is one of those things where you don't realize how uncomfortable you've been until you finally experience what comfortable actually feels like. Now trust me on this one. You just need to try it. Shop Skims Fits everybody collection@skims.com once you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you. Just select podcast in the survey and choose a gold digger podcast in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, number three is why did you stop showing your kids online? And do you ever second guess that choice? Okay, so I have never second guessed that choice for even a minute. I am so grateful that I made that decision. And, you know, for context. So over three years ago, it was Mother's Day. I just decided I had this really strong pull in my heart of, like, as a mother, like, my job is to protect my kids, and if I'm not doing everything that I can to protect them, I just couldn't sleep well at night. And this is coming from an overshare. Like, I can sit here and be like, whoa. I, like, shared so much of our lives and so much of my kids when they were young. And I think for me, because our story with, like, miscarriages and loss and growing our family was such a part of the journey that so many people followed us for, I felt like I almost had to show the miracle of God in life. And, like, and, you know, of course, as a first time mom, like, your kid just hung the moon, right? And you just want to share everything. And we did that, we did that for a while. And I really had, I had this moment. And it was, it was not a bad moment and it was not a scary moment. But it really made me reflect when I had taken Coco to the nail salon for the first time ever. And it was right around Mother's Day and somebody came up to her and me and they said, like, hi, Coco. And they said something like, you know, I saw your coloring that you did the other day, and she looked at me and it was just this look of confusion as, like, who is this person and why did they see that? And it hit me so deep in my chest of like, whoa. Like, first off, you know, this person feels like they know her, which is that parasocial relationship that so many of us have going on with people on the Internet. But that she had no idea, right? And again, the person was super kind. It was a really pleasant interaction. But it hit me that, like, that whole thing of, like, kids do not have consent and they don't understand what this is, it hit me so deep. And, you know, I could sit here and be like, man, I feel guilty that I shared them and I did all these things, but all you can do is choose again, right? Someone I recently met constantly just said, you can choose and you can choose again. And I have just learned, like, I chose again. And over the years, we've gone through and we've really scrubbed a lot of the kid content and removed a lot of things that we shared in photos of them. And I love it because people do not recognize my kids anymore because they don't see them. Right? And so it's been really great for us. And I feel like in this age of AI, I am even more grateful that we made the choice when we did and how we did, just because I feel like it's getting a little scary out there. And I also feel like the more information we're putting out there with our kids, we just don't know how it's going to be used or used against them in the future. And I think that as parents, we do have a responsibility to protect our kids. And I feel like I have been a little more vanilla in saying, you know, choose what works best for you. And I do believe that. And I think it's very different when you have a big audience or a very public life. But I will say that when I see kids lives being shared online now, I have a more visceral reaction to it where I'm just like, oh, like, I just. I don't know. And all I can choose is what I've chosen for myself. And that feels right. And all you can do is choose what feels right for yourself. But I do think that, you know, we are in unprecedented parenting eras where we're the first generation to be raised with kids and the Internet and figuring out what that looks like, and we have so much learning. But I think we are only starting to see the impacts of, like, what that is like for kids that were raised online or that their lives were shared publicly and the choices that they're making in spite of or because of it. And so for me, it's just been so. I mean, the best decision I've made personally, and I feel like I still get to share motherhood, because that was the hard thing for me is, like, motherhood is like 90% of my life. And I feel like work is just like the 10%. And I don't want to cut out that part of my story because it is so much of who I am and why I am this way. And I didn't want to like fully lose that because that is where I spend the majority of my time and my brain power. And so I feel like I found what worked for me. And maybe what works for you is different, but it's just been such a positive experience for us. Okay, question number four. You've changed a lot physically in recent years, but what actually triggered the shift and what does this mean about your self love journey? Oh, okay. So this is something I have really struggled to talk about. Like, so struggled. So first off, like, I really started my health journey over three years ago. So it has been three years of really changing my rhythms, my routines, and ultimately my identity around my health. And I know that it was very confusing for a lot of people, myself included, because for many years I was a body positivity person. I was somebody who showed what it was like to be a plus size woman and all the different things. And what's interesting to me, and this is the most honest reaction I can give, is when I look at past photos of myself, all I have is love. Like, I genuinely loved myself. I look at those photos and I remember I felt so good in those photos. I love the way I look in those photos and my body. And I have been on such a journey. And it's interesting because like, even right now, today, my weight is very similar to what I weighed when I got married and I was really healthy. I mean, when I got married, I ran a full marathon. Like, I was super healthy. And I feel like oftentimes when I look at all the different stages of my body that my body has been through, I see a lot of the effects of like only focusing on work and not focusing on my health. And I also see the effects of grief and a fertility journey that was documented. But like, there were so many parts of that that were never shared. And so I see the roller coaster that my body went on through hormone shifts and changes and loss and all these different things. And what's interesting for me with the journey that I've been on these last three years is that this was the first time that I sincerely was not looking at the scale I needed to have energy. Like, I look back and when I first started working with Brigid and paying attention to my health in a whole different way. It was, I was two months postpartum With Quinn, I had a toddler I was chasing around. I had a book coming out which felt like the biggest project of my life. And I had to run my regular business on top of the book launch. And I was like, how, how am I gonna do this? Like, I was exhausted and I was like, there is no way that I can do all of this and do all of it well. And I want to. I want to. And so when I really started my health journey, it was so focused on how do I have enough energy to do the things that I want to do and do them well throughout the day. And I went through so many identity shifts and worked through so much of the limiting self beliefs and just some of those things that held me back in the past. And so yes, it was a physical transformation. But I will say beyond that, like, it has changed me at the core of who I am. Like, I now am somebody I used to hate, hate working out. Like, I worked out. Like I would grumble my way through workout and just do it because I had to do it. And now, like, I am someone who gets itchy if I'm not moving my body. And gardening has changed my life. I'm looking at my garden right now through my window and understanding like how to cook whole foods and how delicious and nourishing they can be. As somebody who was addicted to processed and fast foods. And so like I just look at like all of these, these shifts that happen and like I am not who I was, but that doesn't negate who I was in those moments. And one thing I will say about my entire career is like, I have been authentic every step of the way. Like when I said I loved my size 14 body, you better believe I loved that body. That body carried me through some really hard things. And when I say that I love feeling strong and lifting weights, I love that. And so it's just interesting because I have wanted to talk about it more and I've really stopped myself from speaking about it because the whole body positivity movement really feels like it's only reserved for people of a certain size. And I was that size. And I want to be conscious of how I'm saying this. I feel like it's really hard to accept messages about loving yourself and that journey when you are a straight sized person. And what's crazy to me is I think I've never met a woman who's not on some sort of self love journey. And so I've really seen where there's this separation between what we think is acceptable in hearing, like how to love yourself in spite of or because of, and how we kind of draw a line. Like once somebody hits a certain size or looks a certain way, they can no longer talk about these things, will no longer hear them. And I think that that's really conducive to the climate that we're in where everything is so polarizing and it's like one side or the other. And I just. I just don't believe that. And so my journey has been my own and I've shared bits and pieces of it. I've been scrutinized to death because of it. And all I can say at the end of the day is like, I loved myself then and my motivation to love myself now has changed. And it's shown up in a way that has changed my body. But it was never really about my body. It was about how I wanted to feel in my life and how I wanted to move through my life. And so it's been really beautiful. And behind the scenes I'm really proud of myself. And I just have changed so much. And I'm really grateful that my girls get to be raised by this version of me. The one who has the energy and the drive, the one who eats differently and shows up and that they get to see their mom, like, moving through life, both in the gym, but also just like carrying them around and doing things that I probably wouldn't have been able to do previously. Okay, question number five is you're scaling back, saying no more, and prioritizing peace. But do you ever miss the old momentum? And I think this is such a great question. So I have said essentially since I became a mom seven years ago, that I have had to rest in this belief that I create momentum. Like I am the creator of momentum. And this is something that I really had to learn and believe as I was choosing to slow down once I had my kids. And it's really interesting because there was a huge piece of me that thought that once both of my kids are in school, I am going to want to hit the freaking ground running again. Like, I'm going to want to hit the gas pedal. I'm going to want to go full steam ahead. I believed that, like, in my core, I would have put money down on that. And what's been really interesting for me is that the opposite is true. I want to slow down. And I am loving a slower paced life. I want my kids to see me rest and relax and enjoy. And when I look back at like, quote, the old momentum, the There were parts of it that fit my life at the time so beautifully. Right. Like, there was a time in my life where I was flying out once a month, speaking on stages, going to conferences, like different things like that. There were definitely just different stages in my career. But I don't miss the old momentum. And it was really hard for me. I think maybe thanks to therapy, I've untethered some of that of like, you know, what success looks like for me and what it feels like. Because I think there is a lot to be said about feeling like if I say no too much, people are going to stop inviting me or I'm going to be irrelevant. And I've worked through so much of that where I'm like, nope, I feel great. And so I don't miss the old momentum. I think that the momentum exists within me and if and when I want it to come back, it can. But I also just think that I have grown and evolved and changed. And like that old quote, momentum does not even look relatively appealing to me. I just feel like I got to a point where I was asking, like, when is enough enough? And like, what is the point? Like, what is the point of more? And like, why do we always have to outdo ourselves? And when I didn't have clear answers for any of those, I really recognized that, like, that wasn't even really momentum. That was just like straight up hustle, right? And so I feel like the way that I create now has really transitioned. And I feel like this version of me feels like the fullest version of me, where it's not just career, it is a true balance around who I am as a person, how I contribute to our community, what I am passionate about. Like I have said for the last few years, I want my work to be the least interesting part of my life. And I feel like I have effectively done that. And that feels so good. A few months ago, I got my colors done and I learned that your girl is an autumn, which means out with a black and in with the brown. I have been rebuilding a capsule wardrobe lately and my all time favorite place to shop is Revolve. They add new products daily and you can sort by color and size and even build out wish lists. I recently got these brown Autry sneakers that I am obsessed with and I snagged this suede bag that I couldn't stop eyeing for fall. Plus, they have inclusive sizing and constant new arrivals, which means there's always something that can fit your life and your style, whether it's a weekend away a big night out or just a little style refresh? Your dream wardrobe is just one click away. Head to Revolve.com forward/gold digger Shop my edit and take 15% off your first order with the code Gold Digger. Fast two day shipping, easy returns. It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's Revolve.com forward/gold digger to shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order using the code gold digger. Offer ends December 14th. So happy shopping. You know, I only share stuff I'm genuinely obsessed with and so when I kept seeing bowl and branch sheets all over Instagram, I was like, okay, are these actually worth the hype? Drew and I have been using their sheets and duvets for over a year now and honestly, our bedroom feels like a completely different space. The moment you touch these sheets, you'll get it. They're incredibly soft to start, but they literally get softer every time you wash them them they're made from 100 organic cotton so they're super durable and they're breathable, which is perfect for piling on cozy layers without turning into a furnace at 2:00am this is Hands down the best bedding I've slept on and I am so genuinely excited for you to try it. Start building your sanctuary of comfort this fall with bowl and branch. For a limited time, get 20 off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at bolandbranch.com Gold Digger that's Boland Branch B O L L A N-D branch.com Gold to save 20% and unlock free shipping. Exclusions apply. When we were young, we dreamed of castles and fairy tales and as we grow up, those dreams might shift into building something real like starting a business. You need a website, payment systems, a logo and a way to reach customers. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but thankfully that's where today's sponsor Shopify comes in. Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all US E commerce from from big brands to folks just getting started. They offer beautiful ready to go website templates so you don't need design skills to look professional. Their AI tools help with product images, descriptions, discount codes and more. Shopify also makes it simple to run email and social campaigns so people can find you and if you ever feel stuck, their award winning 24. 7 support is always available. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com golddigger go to shopify.com goal digger shopify.com golddigger I recently did this retreat and it was five days long and you could not talk about your work at all. Like, you couldn't tell people what you did and you couldn't talk about your work. And I had so many things I wanted to talk about and I got to talk about with people because I am just such a wildly passionate person. So no, I don't miss the old momentum. I love where I'm at. Okay, question number six is, what do you do when you are in a creative dry season but the world still expects you to show up with fresh ideas? Okay, well, first I would really ask, does the world really expect you to show up with fresh ideas? Like, I think that's a lie we tell ourselves. Like, I just, I have really rested in the fact that we are not as important as we think we are and that nobody is watching us as closely as we assume they are. Like, I. And I think that's beautiful. Like, I think that should allow us to like, take a step back and be like, wait, like when I look at this question and I'm like, nobody in the world expects us to show up with fresh ideas. Now, I have felt it at different seasons of my life too, where I'm like, okay, what do I want to say right now? And like, what is even worth saying and what is a new twist on what I've been? Insane, right? Like when you are 900 episodes deep into a show and you have to think of like showing up with something powerful. Yeah, sure, I guess that thought does come up. But I also think, like, no one is expecting us to like, be inventing new ideas every single day. I sure as heck don't. And I would never do that. And I also feel like when I think of certain questions we, especially as women ask ourselves, I often think, like, if I were to ask that of my daughter, like, would I ever ask that of my daughter? Hell no. I would never be like, hey, you need to come up with a fresh idea every single day. Like, I feel like I've been doing so much work on my inner child and I feel like it's been really soul sucking, but also life giving work because I'm living with the literal pure reflection of my inner child with my daughter. Like, when I see her, she is me. She is everything I was as a kid and I want to keep that spirit alive. And I often think of the things that I am hard on myself about and the questions that I ask myself or the Rules I put around myself, I think, would I ever do that to her? And absolutely not. I would never. And so creative dry seasons are going to come all the time. And I think this goes back to even question number one of, like, time outside of therapy is just as important as time in therapy. Time outside of your work is just as important as time in your work. And when things are out of balance, I can believe you would struggle to be creative because you're not drawing energy from any other aspects of your life. And when I went on my little, quote, joy journey a few years ago, and I was like, I am going to find passions, I'm going to find hobbies. I join the rowing team. I start the garden. We get the beat bees, we get chickens. Like, we do all these different things where I am just literally, like, sampling all the goodness of life. And I often joke that it's like the homestead pipeline, but make it, like, still, like, CEO level. Like, like, like, I am finding so much joy in those things, but I am still, like, a boss and doing beautiful work in the world. Outside of that, I have found, like, I get so much creative energy outside of work. And so if work is the only thing you're doing, no wonder you're not feeling creative. Like, go outside and touch grass and lay in the grass and look at the clouds and just, like, be. And so I feel like time outside of work is just as important as time in work, especially if you want to stay creative. But I also just want to remind you, like, nobody is expecting you to reinvent the wheel every single day. You're not that important. And that is beautiful, too. Okay, question number seven. Have you ever felt lonely at the level you're at? And how do you navigate friendships when so few people understand your life? Ooh. Okay, I'm so. I'm so glad I asked this question today. When I was thinking about recording this, I couldn't even remember what all the questions were. And I was like, oh, I hope we talk about this. So, okay, here's what I need you to hear. So I was recently with somebody, and they said something that reminded me of a former version of myself. And she said, I refuse to, like, go on play dates with my daughter because no one understands me. And I just don't have the band within the time to explain what I do and who I am to them. And I remember going through a season, specifically when we moved back to Minnesota, I was pregnant. After two losses, I was really struggling with the first time I'd ever felt depressed in my Entire life, which was so confusing because I was finally pregnant. And I was just so fearful in my pregnancy. I was also miserably sick. And the thought of, like, trying to make new friends felt like the most ridiculous thing in the world. Like, I was like, I don't even have the bandwidth for that. And so when I finally poked my head out of my motherhood cave and I was like, I need community. I really had to stop telling myself that people wouldn't understand what I do. And I had to start asking myself, how do I let people in if they're curious? And how do I also just have things to talk about outside of work? Right. Like, again, going back to, like. Like, if you couldn't talk about what you do, like, what are you going to talk about? And I have the most beautiful group of friends in this city that I adore. And we talk about everything. We talk about politics, we talk about marriage. We talk about parenting. We talk about work. We talk about. I mean, we talk about everything. And they absolutely understand what I do. They might not understand the full scale of things. Like, it'd be actually probably pretty funny if I had them like. Like, describe what I do and how I do it and, like, their interpretation of it. But at the end of the day, it is no one else's job to understand fully what my business is and how it works. That is no one's job. And on the second side, it's like, how do you let people in? Like, if you are living this life where you're like, no one's gonna get what I do or no one's gonna get it? Well, yeah, no one's gonna get it. Cause you're not giving anyone an opportunity to get it. And so I have built in such a beautiful network of friends here, and we. They could care less. Guess what I do day in and day out? I mean, they support it, but they don't care. The other day, I actually got coffee with my mom friends, and I had to get home for a webinar. So I did school drop off, went and sat at my friend Katie's house. We had coffee, and I was like, okay, I gotta go. I got a webinar. And they were like, how many people are gonna be there? I was like, I don't know. I think there's like, 6, 000 for this one. And they were like, wait, what? And it was just kind of funny because we were all kind of laughing about it. And really, we just sit there and we brainstorm. We're like, we want to Start, like, a coffee shop and have therapy music. I mean, like, that's literally what we were doing. I was like, I gotta go. I gotta go do this training. And we were all just, like, laughing because here we are, living in this daydream. But the other side of the coin is, is that some of my dearest friends are people that do get it. And I have seen funny things where people speculate, like, oh, are Jenna and Amy really friends? There's no way they're really. It's just a transactional relationship. Amy is one of my best friends. I talk to her more than I talk to any other person on planet Earth besides my immediate family. Her and I talk every single day, like, 10, 15 minutes a day. And I have recognized now this. Let me just draw a parallel. You can roll your eyes if it doesn't make any sense, but I remember growing up, and you would see, like, celebrities be friends with each other, and it'd be like, well, how do they all know each other? Why do they all hang out together? This is so weird. And we are not celebrities. Let me just set that stage real quickly. But I get it. When people find other people that are in similar career paths, you are with people that get it. And so even today, Amy and I were talking about things where, like, I feel like she is a vice president in my business, and I feel the same for her business, where we have somebody that understands what we're going through, what we're working on. We can troubleshoot things together, we can talk about ideas, and we also talk about everything outside of work. Like, after I record this, I am going to watch a video of some of the house design stuff she's doing so that I can give my feedback on the finishes she's choosing for her house. And so I need you to understand that, like, yeah, we support each other's businesses because we're best friends. We're truly best friends. I was just the other day, we were in Tennessee, and we're texting Amy's husband to hang out with him. Like. Like, there are so many real relationships that happen both online and offline. And the reason why certain relationships live online more than others is because when you are friends with somebody else who gets the world you're in, it's a lot easier to be like, hey, I want a B roll clip of us hanging out. And they're like, yeah, I get that. Where, like, if I were with my mom friends and I said the words B roll, they'd be like, what does that mean? And so when you're with people who have platforms. There's a different comfort level in terms of sharing that relationship that doesn't come with friends who do not work or operate in the industry you're in. And so it's just really interesting to me. So I have both types of friends. I have friends who are in my industry, who I am super close with, who understand the work we're doing, who can talk work and also talk life. And then I have friends who could care less what I do for a job. And both of those friendships are so powerful. I also have friends who have known me since I was 18 years old. And I have my college roommates who I am still so close with. And I absolutely love them because they have seen me at every version of this story. And so there are so many different types of friendships. I've done so many different episodes about friendships. I think it's something that a lot of women struggle with. And I think we don't seek out deep relationships and we need to. I think we need each other more than ever. So, no, I have not ever really felt lonely because I have the perfect types of friends in my life and they have supported me through every stage. I have friends that are in the work, friends who are out of the work, friends who have known me since the beginning of time. I mean, I was just texting my high school best friend the other day, like, so I feel really lucky. And I think that loneliness is a feeling that you get when you aren't choosing to invest in relationships. And I think that if you are looking around and you're thinking everybody else has these relationships and I don't, then I think you have to also be willing to step up and do that work to create them and foster them. All right, we're getting to the bottom. Number eight, what's a belief about success? That used to drive you and now you're actively trying to unlearn. I love how I phrase this question. Trying to unlearn, because I don't know that will ever fully unlearn it. I think that I definitely used to look at numbers a lot to indicate how I was doing. And, you know, if I were to look at a pie chart of like, how is the business performing? There wasn't a slice of the pie dedicated to, like, how is my life and how do I feel and am I rested and how is my health? And so I think that I had subscribed to a lot of just the societal beliefs around success and looking at, you know, top line numbers and bottom Line numbers. And I will admit, I love numbers. I was a mathlete growing up. Like, numbers, to me, feel concrete, and they feel a little less emotional than other aspects of the business. And so to me, numbers tell a story. And that's why I think in the past, I've leaned on numbers. But. But I think that my belief of success now looks at the whole human and not just one area of my life. And my idea of success is being active in our community, making a difference, being rested, being present, being joyful and playful. I think that success, to me, feels a certain way versus looking a certain way. Like, I can feel the most successful when I pull a carrot out of the ground that I planted months ago, and I have dirt on my nails, and I'm probably in sweatpants and ugg slippers that Drew rolls his eyes at because he's like, wear your gardening boots. But I can feel so successful in that moment. And so I think it's really just been, again, that untangling of being productive and constantly in motion and outdoing myself and outperforming myself and all of those things that served me for a stage of my life in my business, but that don't necessarily resonate. And when I teach my daughters about success, I want it to be this embodied version of success where it's the whole parts of them, right? Like, every part of you is successful. And I almost said it is in balance, but I still think balance is a myth. I think balance is not something that is meant to be maintained. Even today, I was like, how come when your business is thriving, your personal life is crashing and vice versa? Like, I feel like that is the name of the game of trying to find balance. But I think that if you are only looking at success in numbers, whether it's followers or profits or revenue or all those different things, you're only looking at a very small piece of the full pie. And usually when those numbers are crushing it, other areas of your life are suffering. And I want to end the suffering in those other areas of our lives. And I want us to be and feel successful in every aspect that we can. Okay, question number nine. Do you ever wonder who you'd be if you weren't Jenna Kutcher? The brand? Interesting. So I don't. I don't ponder that question because I feel like I am me. And I feel like, at least I would like to believe, again, I would like to believe that I am so much better off of a screen and, like, who I am as a human is even better than the brand and I have done a lot of work in recent years really finding like, the delineation of like, where does the brand and business start and where does the human start? Like, where is that separation right between where does one end and the other begins? And I feel like for a long time I didn't have any sort of separation. I was me and the world and the Internet got to experience all the parts of me, and I think that was beautiful. But as I've gotten more private, I've really focused on like, like the different aspects. And it's so funny because, like, my kids, they kind of know what I do, but don't. They don't fully understand. And I let them in in ways that help them to understand. But like, to them, I am just mom. And they get so weirded out if somebody's like, oh, I read your book or I listen to your show. Like, they always, like, smile because they think it's cool, but they're also like, wait, what? And I think that there was definitely parts of me in the past where if somebody asked me, like, like, should I start a personal brand? I'd be like, yes, this is the only way. And it's not the only way. I think I was wrong. I was really wrong. I think that you can build a beautiful business and brand that are not your name and likeness. I think that building a personal brand has a lot of perks because you can evolve and you can be multi passionate and you get to take people on a journey and you get to leave a very personal legacy. I think all those things are beautiful, but I also think it's really important to figure out who are you outside of those things and do you feel good with yourself outside of those things? Like, if I were to remove, you know, the things that, quote, make me important, like the podcast and the followers and all those different things, would I be okay with myself? And. Absolutely. I mean, there are many times I daydream about that exact scenario, right? And so. So I have really had to learn how to separate who I am versus who watches me and who follows me and the work I do. And I've also had to learn, like, how to really find work that is meaningful offline and online, work that maybe never gets shared, but feels incredibly important and life giving. And, you know, that has been something that I've been doing a lot of lately. And just really asking, like, how do I really change the world and what needs to be shared because it can motivate and inspire and what can just live offline like, in the privacy of my own heart and world. And, you know, I don't have the answers on that. And when we're in such a show and tell culture, it's so easy to just think that, like, everything is this opportunity to teach, and everything is this opportunity to share and show people and tell them what you're doing. And there are so many aspects of that that are beautiful. But I also think that when we start to unwire that tendency of, like, showing up and saying, look at what I've done and look what I've learned and look at how I'm doing this, we're able to really simmer in the lessons that we're learning, and we're able to just be without feeling like we need to make an example of everything in our lives. Lives. I don't know if that makes any sense, but again, maybe that goes back to question one, something I'm thinking about in therapy. Okay, let's see here. The last question is, what's something you've never said publicly but you're ready to say out loud now? Huh? I don't remember writing this question. I have immense gratitude for you and for you spending time with me. And I feel so lucky that I have the opportunity to speak into your life and hopefully speak life into yours. And I feel abundantly blessed that I have been able to touch people's lives. And I hope with more than just marketing strategies, I hope that I've been able to reach a piece of your life that maybe felt like it didn't exist or maybe challenged you to think about something deeper. I feel so thankful for you. And in a world that is consumed with numbers and things, I have really tried to imagine the individual who is putting their earbuds in, who is listening, who's tuning in, who needs this message. It's one person. It's not a million. And I just want you to know that at the core of my being, the things I create are for you. And they're coming from the most honest extensions of where I'm at and what I've learned and what I've done. And they're really coming from a place of, like, I just want to help you get a win. I want you to start to believe in yourself. I want for you to see the potential. I want to take that little ember that you forgot existed and light a spark within you. And I want you to do it so that you have pure ownership over it. Like the fact that I get to be even a tiny little piece on your journey. Means more than you will ever know. And my belief in you is so big and so wide. And I'm just really grateful. I'm really grateful for this microphone. I'm really grateful for this platform. I'm really grateful that I get to pour into each of you individually. And all I can hope is that there's a ripple effect in the world that leaves the world a little bit better and a little bit brighter and a little bit happier. That's really it. Well, and we paid it. That was a doozy. I'll probably have a hangover from being so vulnerable, but I hope that this lets you in to my life right now. And I hope that you can just see the humanity in me and my desire to continue to grow and evolve and make space for all of that. And I hope you just feel like my sincere gratitude for this show and for being here. I mean, these questions, I'm not gonna lie, they crack something open in me. And I hope that maybe they crack something open in you, too. Like I am in a season where I am so much more interested in being real than being perfect and polished. I'm more interested in telling my truth than feeling like there's some sort of illusion out there that's meant to be maintained. And so if any part of this episode hit home for you, I would love so much to hear about it. Like, message me. Share a moment that resonated. Ask your own question. Maybe it's something you've been holding back on answering yourself. Because I really do think that the best conversations do not start with what we expect. They start when we finally say the things that we've been carrying in our brains. And so thank you for letting me share today, and I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time, Gold Diggers, keep on digging your biggest goals. And as a reminder, do not be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and lean into them. Thanks for listening to the Gold Digger podcast. I hope today left you inspired and equipped with something you can put into action as you build a business that truly supports your life. If this episode resonated with you, here. Here's how you can help this show reach even more entrepreneurs. Hit follow. Share it with a friend who's building something meaningful. And if you're feeling generous, leave us a review. Those reviews help other listeners discover these conversations when they need them the most. This show has become so much more than I ever imagined, and it's because of listeners like you who show up and share. You are helping build something that will inspire entrepreneurs for years to come. For show notes, links, and resources, head to golddiggerpodcast.com keep digging. Your biggest goals the world needs what you're building.