The Goop Podcast with Gwyneth Paltrow: Episode with Abbie Schiller (December 9, 2025)
Main Theme & Purpose
This episode, guest-hosted by goal coach, author, and speaker Abbie Schiller, is dedicated to honest year-end reflection, processing hardship with compassion, finding meaning in challenges, and preparing for a better year ahead. Intended as an uplifting, practical guide for listeners who have weathered a tough year, Schiller walks through tools and mindsets for reclaiming agency and embracing hope, resilience, and authenticity in the face of adversity. The episode is rich with relatable personal anecdotes and actionable frameworks intended to help listeners cultivate mental strength and meaning.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Reflecting Honestly on the Year
[03:32–11:28]
- Acknowledges that 2025 has been exceptionally difficult for many—overwhelming, exhausting, at times traumatic.
- Encourages distinguishing between the facts of one’s year and the stories we tell ourselves about them.
- Actionable step: Take inventory of the year by listing both the good and the hard—noticing even the small, positive moments.
- Recognizes the influence of recency bias on our perception of the year.
- Shares her own “hard list” (community-wide fire, insurance battles, personal loss) and “good list” (travel, family milestones, professional achievements).
"A fact is water in a glass. Our thought is, this glass is half full or half empty. Our thoughts interpret the facts."
—Abbie Schiller [07:19]
2. Building Mental Strength Through Awareness and Reframing
[11:28–19:33]
- Introduces the idea that what matters most is how we respond, not what happens to us.
- Suggests highlighting which events were within our control and which were not.
- Describes “post-traumatic growth” as the positive psychological change emerging from challenging experiences.
- Stresses the profound power of narrative: “Glass half full or half empty? Both are true. So which story supports the life and the year that you want?” [08:17]
- Cites the story of mathematician George Bernard Dantzig who solved “impossible” equations simply because he didn’t know they were supposed to be hard — a metaphor for how our beliefs shape our capacity.
"Instead of saying this year was hard, which of course you could say, and it might be true, here are some other potential truths: This year was intense and I got through. This year was full of challenges and I kept showing up. This year tested my capabilities."
—Abbie Schiller [18:37]
- Shares her personal model for life: not 50/50 good and bad, but thirds—one third good, one third neutral, one third hard.
3. Processing the Year with Compassion
[26:13–33:19]
- Emphasizes making peace with what happened, not through denial, but by allowing oneself to feel and process emotions.
- Describes a simple, body-based technique to process feelings: “Feelings are vibrations that live in our body… do a scan from crown to feet, notice the sensation, locate it, sit with it, and ask what it wants you to know.” [28:22]
- Advises against self-judgment and suggests curiosity as a more productive, kinder approach.
“If being mean to yourself made you a better person, you’d be perfect by now. Not only does self blame and shame not work, it makes things worse.”
—Abbie Schiller [25:19]
- Explains the difference between self-compassion and self-accountability.
- Offers validating reframes: “I tried the best I could with what I knew at the time.”
“This was harder than I expected. And I kept going anyway.” [32:07–32:40] - Encourages seeing setbacks as opportunities for learning, not failure: “I am learning, not failing.” [32:52]
4. Finding Meaning in Challenge
[33:41–40:47]
- Finding meaning in difficulties breaks the unproductive mental loop of rumination.
- Making meaning reduces mental health symptoms and builds long-term resilience.
- Suggests regulating the nervous system (with breath, movement, ritual) before attempting meaning-making.
- Four guiding questions:
- What else could this mean?
- What did I learn?
- How am I different or stronger now?
- What good came from this (even if I’d never choose it)?
- The process is active: “Meaning doesn’t just present itself… you have to actively think it up and decide about it.” [37:18]
- Encourages finding meaning through community and ritual as well as solitary reflection.
- Clarifies she doesn’t believe “everything happens for a reason” but believes in actively creating meaning where needed.
“Without meaning, your brain treats the event as an unresolved threat. With meaning, your brain can integrate it… It’s not just psychological, it’s biological: your stress response calms, your sleep improves, your relationships get better.”
—Abbie Schiller [38:23]
5. Preparing for a Better Year
[40:47–51:09]
- Defines a “better year” not as perfect, but perhaps just 1% or 10% better—setting realistic, attainable improvement goals.
- Advocates for the boldness and joy of hope: “I would rather carry hope and be wrong about the world than carry apathy and be right about it.”
- Suggests looking for “micro-joys” and scheduling specific moments to look forward to—“Hearts and stars” on your calendar.
- Shares lesson from her death doula training: many people bargain for time but don’t know what to do with it—reminder to live now.
- Normalize obstacles; anticipate hard things as part of every year and every meaningful goal.
- Encourages reframing goals around feelings and experiences, not just achievements—example: “random acts of fun” as a yearly goal.
“Give yourself things to circle with hearts and stars… We build the years we like, they don’t just happen. Plan and work for a better year.”
—Abbie Schiller [42:57]
- Stresses the importance of aligning actions with values and goals: if a camera followed you, would your time reflect your desires?
- Lasting advice: cultivate mental flexibility, the “ability to roll with it”—the foundation of wellness.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Feelings come from our thoughts. If you think ‘I wasted this whole year,’ you’ll feel disappointed. If you think ‘I faced a lot of unexpected challenges and I did what I could,’ you’ll feel acceptance.” [26:55]
- “Curiosity is the gateway drug to all good things.” [29:47]
- “If the worst-case scenario is possible, the best-case scenario is just as possible. You might as well choose the light.” [41:53]
- “Don’t wait until you have a diagnosis to fully live your life.” [44:15]
- “If a camera crew followed you around for a week, would they know what you wanted and were working on?” [47:55]
- “Being human is hard sometimes and we are capable of doing these hard things.” [51:46]
Practical Frameworks & Reflection Tools
- Year Inventory Worksheet: Free download from Abbie Schiller’s website (linked in show notes), prompts listeners through the processes discussed.
- Reflection Steps:
- List the year’s good and hard events
- Highlight those within and outside of your control
- Examine the narratives you are telling yourself about these events
- Practice reframes with “Yes, and…” statements
- Process feelings by noticing bodily sensations and naming emotions
- Make meaning by considering alternative explanations and identifying growth
Standout Segment Timestamps
- Reflecting on the Year: [03:32–11:28]
- Mental Strength & Reframing: [11:28–19:33]
- Processing with Compassion: [26:13–33:19]
- Meaning from Challenge: [33:41–40:47]
- Preparing for Next Year: [40:47–51:09]
- Closing Affirmation: [51:09–end]
Tone & Atmosphere
Warm, encouraging, at times vulnerable, and always pragmatic. Schiller’s delivery is conversational and direct, peppered with self-deprecating humor, deep compassion, and frequent invitations for personal reflection. There is a consistent emphasis on agency, kindness (to self and others), and embracing the messy, nuanced reality of life.
Further Resources
- Abbie Schiller’s Website: abbieschiller.com—free worksheets, training, and further reading.
- Previous Goop Episodes Linked: “Loss” (January) and “Creating a Life You Like” (February 4).
This summary captures the essence and guidance of Abbie Schiller’s solo session, offering listeners a roadmap to reframe, process, and author their own stories of resilience and hope for the year ahead.