the goop podcast: “Exploring Purpose and the Personal Why”
Host: Gwyneth Paltrow
Guest: Emily Hickey, Growth Strategist
Date: October 28, 2025
Overview
In this rich and candid episode, Gwyneth Paltrow welcomes Emily Hickey—a growth strategist, coach, and long-time collaborator—whose insights have helped Gwyneth reconnect with her deeper sense of purpose. Together, they embark on a wide-ranging, unvarnished conversation about the elusive “personal why,” the challenge of living in alignment with one’s values, how childhood and career intersect, and the glass ceilings we unconsciously create for ourselves. This episode is especially resonant for women and entrepreneurs, but offers universal insights into finding meaning amid modern life’s competing pressures.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Challenge of Newness and Criticism
- Introducing Change: Gwyneth and Emily set the stage by acknowledging that anyone introducing new ideas—whether culturally or in their personal life—must contend with criticism.
- “When you are pioneering anything or introducing new ideas to the culture, you get criticized.” – Gwyneth Paltrow (02:37)
- Love and Addiction: Touching briefly on relationships, they discuss how fulfillment (and even addiction) can stem from internal emptiness rather than external circumstances.
The “Why” – Brand, Work, and Life
- Intertwined Roles: Gwyneth explores how Emily’s coaching and advisory work influences her leadership at GOOP and her personal evolution.
- “It’s hard to define, but like, you are helping me so much in my journey as a CEO…How do we define what our relationship is?” – Gwyneth Paltrow (04:08)
- Purpose as Core Motivation: They emphasize the importance for everyone—entrepreneurs, employees, homemakers—to discover their underlying “why.”
- “Work and life is all one thing…what you’re trying to accomplish in your business is in a lot of ways, trying to accomplish yourself.” – Emily Hickey (06:12)
- The Jungian Approach: Emily reveals her Jungian perspective; externalizing who we are is life’s central work.
Models of Purpose: Teddy Roosevelt and Personal North Stars
- Learning from History: Emily’s fascination with Teddy Roosevelt centers on his robust sense of moral purpose, family, and public service as a model of wholeness (07:07).
- Uniqueness of Purpose: They discuss that each person’s purpose is sui generis—as unique as DNA (08:05).
Purpose and Public Life
- Bravery in the Arena: Gwyneth identifies with being a “man in the arena,” referencing Roosevelt’s emblematic phrase and describing the courage required to live one’s purpose publicly.
- “To be so wedded to your purpose, like, that’s what gives me bravery…there’s no choice for me, right, but to live in the arena.” – Gwyneth Paltrow (12:09)
- Leadership and Bringing Others Along: Emily notes that Gwyneth’s drive includes a group piece—“bringing other people along” with her pursuit of self (13:39).
The Shaping Power of Past and the Search for Home
- Both guests reflect on how their childhoods, family narratives, and things they wanted ‘corrected’ shape their why.
- “There’s a narrative…and a lot of that for me has to do with changing my concept of family.” – Emily Hickey (15:32)
- “My picture of what I wanted in my life was a reaction to what I was coming from.” – Emily Hickey (16:13)
Vulnerability, Fear, and Confidence
Gwyneth admits to some anxiety but describes not being motivated by fear (17:12), while Emily shares her journey from paralyzing shyness and fear of failure to confidence in her professional life—a process that accelerated after age 40.
Exercises and Practices for Finding Purpose
- Visualization: Emily champions the “power of the visual imagination” as a way to clarify purpose (22:21). She shares a personal anecdote about visualizing walking to an alpine pond and later, by serendipity, living near just such a place.
- “If you can’t picture your life in a really complete way, that would make you happy…or you’ve never tried.” – Emily Hickey (22:21)
- Micro-Decisions and Manifestation: Manifesting change often requires both big-picture visioning and immediate micro-decisions, plus faith in instincts over pure rationality (26:26).
- “I think trying to solve with purely your rational side…is not going to work.” – Emily Hickey (26:26)
- “Shine the flashlight close to the page and just do…what you like doing and what you’re good at.” – Emily Hickey (26:26)
Accepting Weaknesses and Letting Go
- Both Gwyneth and Emily find liberation in admitting what they’re not good at and relying on others in those areas.
- “There is kind of a great freedom that comes when you can admit the things that you’re not good at and be like, this is not my life's purpose…” – Gwyneth Paltrow (30:02)
The “Brutal” 30s and Reckoning with Discipline
- The conversation delves into the peculiar hardships of one’s 30s—a time of identity crisis, the end of “anything goes,” and pressure to appear fully adult.
- “The 30s are brutal…I wasn’t totally living in integrity yet, meaning I hadn’t spent enough time with myself in solitude, really deeply listening.” – Gwyneth Paltrow (30:38)
- Discipline is interrogated—not just the discipline itself, but the object: “What am I a disciple of?” Gwyneth credits Glennon Doyle for this question (see 34:56).
The Value and Necessity of Stillness
- Both emphasize the critical need for stillness and solitude in discovering personal truth—something our fast-moving, pressurized culture starves us of (44:39).
Handling Glass Ceilings & Self-Limiting Beliefs
- Emily details how family patterns and circumstances can result in self-imposed glass ceilings.
- “It’s basically self narrat…have you created a glass ceiling for yourself?” (46:03)
- Gwyneth recognizes how her own doubts (“who am I to do this?”) used to unconsciously keep GOOP’s growth contained (47:26).
Tools for Rewriting Limiting Narratives
- Tony Robbins & NLP: Emily credits Tony Robbins and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) for world-changing breakthroughs in her life (46:01, 51:06).
Allowing for Transformation and Reinvention
- Gwyneth recounts letting go of an acting career—even one others would envy—so she could wait (sometimes for years) for her real purpose to emerge (54:36, 55:20).
- Both praise the power of giving oneself the space to “hear” one’s true calling, even if it means doing less or stopping entirely for a time (59:17).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Your job is to externally manifest who you are.” – Emily Hickey on Jung’s core philosophy (07:44)
- “If you lined up 100 people, what’s the thing you’re best at—that’s actually what you should be doing.” – Emily Hickey (28:08)
- “What am I a disciple of? Are you a disciple of your trauma? Are you a disciple of your perfectionism, of never being good enough? Like, where’s all this discipline?” – Gwyneth Paltrow, inspired by Glennon Doyle (34:56)
- “Life is a series of getting the shit kicked out of you, you know?...it’s the first noble rule. To live is to suffer.” – Gwyneth Paltrow (38:29)
- “Operating to the scorecard is a huge mistake. You really do have to sit still with yourself and think about what is driving me.” – Emily Hickey (41:40)
- “For me, it was like cutting the vines off my feet.” – Emily Hickey on breaking free from shadow self and inherited limitations (45:06)
- “Who am I to do this?...Who the fuck do I think I am?” – Gwyneth Paltrow, confronting her own glass ceiling (47:26)
- “To create brand reach and awareness of that level, with that level of trust, is almost impossible.” – Emily Hickey, on GOOP’s unique brand status (49:54)
- “When you make decisions from the glass ceiling, it perpetuates itself. It’s the biggest gotcha.” – Emily Hickey (49:01)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 02:34 – Criticism, pioneering change, and the early “why” discussion
- 06:09 – Blending personal and professional purpose, Jungian philosophy
- 07:07 – Teddy Roosevelt and the model of wholeness/purpose
- 12:09 – Gwyneth on living in the arena; bravery from purpose
- 15:32 – How childhood informs the personal why
- 17:12 – Vulnerability, fear, and building confidence
- 22:21 – Emily’s visualization exercise
- 26:26 – Micro-decisions and listening to inner instincts
- 30:02 – Admitting weaknesses and letting go
- 30:38 – The “brutality” of the 30s and adult pressure
- 34:56 – Questioning discipline’s object: “what are you a disciple of?”
- 41:40 – The necessity of stillness and self-orientation
- 46:01/51:06 – Tony Robbins, NLP, and narrative reprogramming
- 47:26 – Gwyneth’s self-limiting beliefs and impacts on GOOP
- 54:36 – Letting go of a career and trusting in the emergence of purpose
- 59:17 – The courage to stop, create space, and find your true path
Final Thoughts
The episode closes with both women reflecting that real transformation and a “miracle year” are possible when you operate from your unique why, rather than from fear, outside expectations, or inherited limitations.
- “So much power and beauty comes out of that, like, when you’re acting from that place.” – Gwyneth Paltrow (60:07)
- “It’s like a whole different deal. So yeah, it’s worth it.” – Emily Hickey (60:41)
This episode offers a deep well of insight and practical prompts for anyone seeking a more intentional, purpose-driven life.