The GROGNARD Files – Session Zero: “Start Here”

Podcast: The GROGNARD Files
Host: Dirk the Dice
Date: May 12, 2020
Episode: Start Here – Session Zero

Episode Overview

This “Session Zero” episode serves as an inviting and humorous introduction to The GROGNARD Files podcast, a show dedicated to exploring tabletop RPGs from their origin days (“back in the day”) through to the present. Host Dirk the Dice gives newcomers a comprehensive overview of the show’s structure, recurring segments, regular contributors, and guiding philosophy—while peppering in plenty of nostalgia, warmth, and witty asides. It’s designed to help listeners decide if this famously “bobbins” show about roleplaying games is for them, and where to start on their Grognardic journey.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Is The GROGNARD Files?

• Each episode is a “deep dive” into a specific RPG, focusing on rules, history, setting, and personal experiences across both classic and modern games.
• Episodes come out monthly (around the 18th) and are often split in two parts, leading to quirky episode numbering.
• The show began as a memoir of 1980s RPG experiences, including a long hiatus ("deep freeze") before rediscovery in adulthood.
• “We like to imagine the podcast as an aural fanzine, a patchwork quilt of different voices and ideas with misplaced enthusiasms and laboured jokes.” (Dirk, 04:15)

2. Recurring Segments and Contributors

• Open Box:
  • The hosts revisit their teenage selves, reflecting on how their gaming tastes and approaches have changed over the years.
  • “We never talk about a game that we haven’t actually played, because play is the thing, right?” (Dirk, 10:25)
• Judge Blythy / Rules Lawyer:
  • Judge Blythy dissects the featured game’s rules—highlighting three mechanical “hits” and one “fumbly dud.”
  • Numerous guest experts appear to add specialist perspective.
  • “Blythy knows his onions. In fact, he’s great on onions.” (Dirk, 13:10)
• White Dwarf Magazine:
  • @DailyDwarf offers in-depth, wry commentary on the golden age of White Dwarf magazine, especially issues 1–100.
  • Special episodes feature interviews with legendary editors (e.g., Jamie Thompson, Ian Marsh, Mark Gascoigne).
  • “You think you’ve been on a deep dive? Hold your breath, he’s taking you further.” (Dirk, 16:50)
• Grogglebox:
  • Looks at books, TV, and films that shaped the hosts’ gaming lives—offering nostalgic and critical reflections.
  • Recommended starts: Robin of Sherwood (ep 27), Blake 7 (ep 31).
• Grog Squad Stories:
  • The “sleeper cell” of listeners shares stories of loving, leaving, and rediscovering the hobby.
  • “It’s great to hear the stories of people who’ve rediscovered the hobby, and of course, stories from people who never went away.” (Dirk, 20:17)
• Review of the Year / The Groggies:
  • Annual year-in-review with highlights/lowlights and lighthearted awards.

3. Community and Invitation

• The podcast welcomes all—“we are in no way gatekeeper-y, sure we have a clubhouse feel, but you’re very welcome to join.” (Dirk, 21:20)
• Community events include Grog Meet (in Manchester, and online), a zine, and a Patreon/club membership with exclusive content.
• Hypnotic and cozy tone: Dirk often jokes about his voice curing insomnia, the "shrine to Caroline Munro," and their “accumulation” of RPGs.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Podcast’s Approach
  “We like to imagine the podcast as an aural fanzine, a patchwork quilt of different voices and ideas with misplaced enthusiasms and laboured jokes.”
  — Dirk the Dice [04:15]

• On Gaming Philosophy
  “We never talk about a game that we haven’t actually played, because play is the thing, right?”
  — Dirk the Dice [10:25]

• On Contributors
  “Blythy knows his onions. In fact, he’s great on onions. Unfortunately, we don’t cover onions games Master Screen in this section.”
  — Dirk the Dice [13:10]

• On Deep Dives into White Dwarf
  “You think you’ve been on a deep dive? Hold your breath, he’s taking you further. And if you’re suffering from the bends, why not gasp for some air as we talk to the magazine’s editorial team?”
  — Dirk the Dice [16:50]

• Welcoming New Listeners
  “We are in no way gatekeeper-y, sure we have a clubhouse feel, but you’re very welcome to join.”
  — Dirk the Dice [21:20]

• On Whether to Listen
  “I hope that this introduction has whetted your appetite for the Grognard Files, and if it hasn't, well, bugger off. Adios, amigos.”
  — Dirk the Dice [28:15]

Suggested Starting Points (with Timestamps)

• [10:00] Philosophy & Approach: Why it’s essential to play the games they discuss.
• [15:00] White Dwarf Love: Their ongoing deep dives into the iconic magazine.
• [19:00] Community Involvement: Listener stories and the emergence of the “Grog Squad.”
• [25:00] How to Get Involved: Events, Patreon, zine, and “honorary armchair adventurers.”

Summary Table: Regular Features

| Segment | Description | Contributor(s) | Related Episodes/Timestamps | |-----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------|----------------------|------------------------------------| | Open Box | Reflecting on past & present play | Dirk & Co. | All, intro at [09:45] | | Judge Blythy | Rules deep dives & critiques | Judge Blythy, guests | Intro [12:30]; Ep. 7, 19, 24 | | White Dwarf | Analysis of classic RPG magazine | @DailyDwarf, guests | Ep. 29 special; regular at [16:40] | | Grogglebox | Analysing RPG-influencing pop culture | All | Ep. 27, 31; mentions at [18:30] | | Grog Squad | Listener RPG stories | Listeners | Feature intro at [19:45] | | Review of Year | Annual gaming retrospective & “Groggies” awards | All | December episodes |

Closing Remark

The GROGNARD Files is warm, funny, steeped in nostalgia but never insular—a podcast as much about rediscovering the joy of tabletop RPGs today as it is about remembering them fondly. Come for the vintage game analysis, stay for “misplaced enthusiasms and laboured jokes”—and maybe to find your tribe.

[“If you haven’t been whetted, well, bugger off. Adios, amigos.” — Dirk, 28:15]