The GROGNARD Files Podcast
Episode: UK GAMES EXPO 2022 – GROGPOD extra
Release Date: June 14, 2022
Host: Dirk the Dice
Guest/Co-host: Blithe
Episode Overview
In this special episode, Dirk the Dice and Blithe share their experiences returning to the UK Games Expo 2022 after two years away due to COVID. The episode is a warm, rambly conversation exploring the games they played and ran, the quirky moments, the atmosphere of the convention, and the enduring appeal of tabletop RPGs—both old-school and new. The tone is jovial and nostalgic, full of dry British humor and affectionate banter.
UK Games Expo: Setting the Scene
Timestamps: [00:16]-[04:34]
- Dirk introduces the return to UK Games Expo after the COVID hiatus, describing it as "a gaming bubble, surrounded by friends and strangers who became friends" [00:16].
- The Expo is described as the UK's biggest gaming convention and currently the third largest in the world, featuring 37,000 visitors this year [02:14].
- Blithe notes the event’s "worlds within worlds"—with different game groups, LARPs, historical reenactors (Vikings and Romans), and varied sub-communities all mingling: "There’s an odd. Worlds within worlds, isn’t it?" [03:01].
- Anecdotes include a crowd of Vikings (in costume) passing through security and causing confusion [03:57].
The Expo’s Opening Game: “Find Dirk’s Belt”
Timestamps: [04:34]-[09:51]
- The episode’s first notable tangent: Dirk arriving in Birmingham beltless, having to "clutch [his] trousers" while traversing Manchester Piccadilly [06:33].
- A lengthy, comedic detour about missing the Platinum Jubilee ("Platty Jeebs") celebrations entirely while ensconced in gaming at the expo—a metaphor for how immersive and separate conventions feel [07:29].
- Notable quip:
- Dirk: “God Save the Queen sandwich, which is deep fried goujons in a bun to celebrate the auspicious occasion of our Head of State being in place. It was, you know, essentially a fish finger sandwich.” [07:53]
- They riff on royal memorabilia, paper plates with people's faces, and baffling 1950s-style outfits for royal children—"like kids who've traveled in time" [09:31].
Friday: First Game – RuneQuest at the Expo
Timestamps: [09:51]-[17:38]
- Dirk and Blithe play RuneQuest together—rare for both to be players and not GMs at a con.
- Observations about the difference between UKGE and curated conventions (like Grog Meat): unknown group chemistry, introductions, and table dynamics [10:40].
- This game avoided combat; instead, players transported a saga/performance from one clan to another, negotiating differences in knowledge about the setting, RuneQuest rules, and Glorantha’s lore [12:28].
- Insight about convention play: “There is that spotlight moment where they go, ‘Right, what are you going to do?’... Even if it’s ‘I’m just going to hit him with my sword,’ you get to roll a dice and you get to do something, don’t you?” – Blithe [13:35]
- The scenario is a classic "McGuffin hunt," but the McGuffin is a story/saga, not an object, leading to debates about making things up vs. honoring tradition and truth—showcasing both the freedom and the constraints of Glorantha as a setting [17:16].
- Memorable moment: Blithe’s trickster character uses magic to make a long-suffering NPC laugh uncontrollably at his own exile, adding levity and mischief to the session [16:13].
Saturday Morning: Dungeon Crawl Classics & Traveller
Dungeon Crawl Classics (DCC) – Blithe
Timestamps: [17:57]-[22:05]
- First time playing DCC, not a funnel, but 3rd level—and a surprisingly large table with eight players due to a ticketing snafu.
- Blithe enjoys the chaos and gonzo tone, especially the DCC spellcasting table’s wacky results.
- Blithe: "I rolled a 19... my scorching rare spell resulted in magma appearing from the Earth's core... I ended up doing 128 points damage to the boss monster and killed it. That was very satisfying." [19:52]
- “At the very end... the Elven wizard, her ears shriveled up, got backfire and her ears fell off.” [21:10]
- Conclusion: Inspired to run DCC in the future—"It's a lot of fun...I enjoyed it. I think I need to run some at some point." [22:05]
Traveller – Dirk
Timestamps: [22:05]-[26:46]
- Dirk leans into Traveller at conventions for its toolkit nature—every GM spins the Imperium their own way.
- The GM was TV’s “ghost hunting superstar CJ Roma,” running a detailed, atmospheric extraction mission featuring zombie-adjacent nanobot AIs [23:40].
- Notable quote:
- “...the AI had taken over the planet...with active nano robots...to do a resurrection program...I thought that was a really good idea." – Dirk [25:03]
- Memorable NPC: A young player as a trigger-happy Vargr, delightfully in-character—“If you’ve got an 11-year-old player and you’re playing Traveller, then giving them the Vargr is the absolutely right thing to do.” – Blithe [26:16]
Saturday Afternoon: Old-School Essentials & Conan 2d20
Old-School Essentials (OSE) – Blithe
Timestamps: [29:05]-[32:38]
- Blithe plays the classic "Around the Bend" scenario, shrunk down to traverse a wizard's drain, fighting oversized insects.
- Notable focus: Inter-generational play—a younger woman joining a table of old friends, feeling a bit "intimidated," but ultimately included and surprised by the deadliness of old-school play when a character is killed on a single roll [30:42].
- “In Neil's game... someone was killed, a character was killed...She said she played fifth edition and in fifth edition it was notoriously hard to die, isn't it? But in Neil's game, Julian was eaten by [a] troll and it was just on one roll. That's it. You're dead. You're dead. Look at her face. She's like what's halfway through the game? And he's dead.” [32:26]
Conan 2d20 – Dirk
Timestamps: [33:01]-[37:14]
- Dirk plays Conan 2d20 in person to prepare for running it the next day. The table is full of Robert E. Howard fans, including a “terrifying” Stygian sorcerer.
- Their GM pauses to comment on sensitivity and the racial tropes of Howard’s stories, helping anchor the game in its literary roots, and creating an inclusive but atmospheric vibe [34:41].
- They note how the 2d20 system shines at the table, much more tactile and less clunky than online play: “It just feels a bit more exciting [with] the exchange of momentum points, doom points, and the fortune points” [35:48].
Reflections on the Con Lottery
Timestamps: [37:14]-[40:37]
- Both express satisfaction with this year’s games, which bucked the usual "50/50 lottery" of convention signups.
- Blithe: “This year is probably my best year.” [38:48]
- They discuss how tolerance and expectation management help—Dirk suggests Blithe is “more tolerant,” which Blithe denies, laughing, but admits “you learn, I suppose, don’t you?” [39:01].
- War stories about less successful games—particularly being the odd one out in a group of heavy-drinking friends [39:32].
Sunday Morning: Running Convention Games
Timestamps: [40:37]-[47:25]
Logistics & Preparation
- They muse about the classic mistake of scheduling games for 9 AM and the Premier Inn’s "reluctant" poached egg service [40:50].
- Both ran games, opting for simplicity and reliable fun over complexity.
Into the Odd (Blithe runs)
- Advocates choosing “simple systems” for conventions, so the session can focus on the scenario and player creativity instead of rules management [43:09].
- Decided NOT to use pregenerated characters (pregens), letting players make characters at the table—a breeze for this minimalist system.
- Delightful moment: A player rolls a mutation—“a hive of bees inside him,” which he uses for espionage. “That was just great...unexpected” [46:00].
Conan 2d20 w/ Kull Supplement (Dirk runs)
- Dirk’s prep: Cut and paste a scenario hook from the Kull supplement submitted by listener Helena Nash, who then asked to watch his table. Stress!
- His adventure: “The palace has been hit by some kind of secret slumber that’s causing everybody to go to sleep… Kull has sealed the palace…they have to find these items because they learn that...sleep is an entity…a wizard has captured sleep” [49:23].
- Notable moment: Helena Nash, the author of the scenario hook, sits on the fringe “judging” Dirk as he riffs off her idea. Her feedback: Dirk’s scenario was like “doing a summary of a film that doesn’t exist in the Radio Times” [53:01].
Insight on 2d20 and Simpler Systems
- Both reflect on how "difficult-looking" modern systems often become straightforward with a little practice, echoing the journey they went through with Savage Worlds [51:50].
The Sordid Business of Buying Stuff
Timestamps: [53:45]-[60:33]
- The trade hall is both exhilarating and overwhelming—Dirk arrives intending to buy the new Masks of Nyarlathotep box set, prodded by a spontaneous chat with Mike Mason from Chaosium.
- “I knew I could see it...unfolding in slow motion in front of me. I thought, he's gonna buy it, isn't he?” – Blithe [55:27]
- Blithe is the “reluctant shopper,” more likely to buy some dice after two hours of wandering. He notes that the internet has dulled the wow factor of trade halls—now seeking the element of surprise in something he didn’t know existed [57:34].
- Both regret missing out on "Orbital Blues," which sold out before Dirk acted on impulse [58:07].
- Dirk’s main purchases: Cults of Cthulhu (with some confusion about proving his identity as “Dirk the Dice”), and the long-awaited new edition of Masks [59:08 & 59:56].
Social Side and Closing Thoughts
Timestamps: [61:03]-[64:06]
- Both agree the real highlight is the social dimension—reconnecting after two years, catching up on gaming and non-gaming life, and just enjoying the vibe.
- Post-lockdown, simply being there was a joy: “Sometimes with these things there’s a sense of I’m happy to be here. I’m just happy to be. Yes.” [62:03]
- Both found a more spontaneous, laid-back approach made for a more enjoyable convention.
- “You could say I was a belts and braces man before and now I don’t even have a belt.” – Dirk [64:03]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Dirk: “I was clutching my trousers because it felt like, you know, any moment...they may go.” [06:33]
- Blithe: “It did that sort of inclusiveness...goes to show how gaming kind of brings people together.” [32:41]
- Dirk: “Sometimes the case, isn’t it, with systems that initially you can be a little bit uncertain about them...But then possibly more straightforward than they appear to be at first glance, aren’t they?” [51:50]
- Blithe: “Because in Neil’s game...someone was killed...and it was just on one roll. That’s it. You’re dead. You’re dead. Look at her face. She’s like what’s halfway through the game? And he’s dead.” [32:26]
- Dirk (on trade halls): “You know my algorithm. You know my algorithm, how it works. So you can predict it.” [55:27]
- Blithe (on buying habits): “We have this joke, don’t we, that I...I'll go around the Trade hall for two hours and then buy some dice, which it is what happened.” [56:34]
Summary Table of Key Segments (Approximate)
| Segment | Start Time | End Time | Content | |---------------------------------|------------|------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | Arrival & Expo Atmosphere | 00:16 | 04:34 | Expo description, return after COVID, pockets of wonder | | Belt Antics & Platty Jeebs | 04:34 | 09:51 | Dirk’s belt saga, missing the Jubilee, lighthearted banter | | Friday: RuneQuest | 09:51 | 17:38 | Game dynamics, scenario structure, Glorantha lore, trickster | | Saturday AM: DCC & Traveller | 17:57 | 26:46 | DCC chaos, Traveller’s open narrative, standout moments | | Saturday PM: OSE & Conan 2d20 | 29:05 | 37:14 | Old-school play, generational mix, Conan system reflection | | Con Lottery Reflections | 37:14 | 40:37 | Mixed experiences, learning tolerance | | Sunday: Running Games | 40:37 | 47:25 | Into the Odd prep, simple systems, boxed Kull Conan game | | Shopping/Trade Hall Tales | 53:45 | 60:33 | Buying habits, Dirk’s impulsiveness, trade hall psychology | | Socials/Wrap-up | 61:03 | 64:06 | Reconnecting post-lockdown, laid-back con attitude |
Final Thoughts
The episode offers a conversational, reflective deep dive into con culture, GMing and playing at big events, and the enduring pleasures (and foibles) of the British RPG scene—complete with in-jokes, accidental Wetherspoons visits, lost belts, and much talk of dice. With a perfect blend of irreverence and genuine RPG insight, Dirk and Blithe perfectly capture the spirit and camaraderie of UK Games Expo.
For further engagement: The GROGNARD Files continues to run online book clubs and scenario playthroughs, and Dirk appears on other RPG podcasts, including Frankenstein's RPG and The Smart Party. Reach out via social media to join their (always humorous) gaming community.