The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos
Episode: Hack Your Emotions
Release Date: January 20, 2025
Host/Author: Pushkin Industries
Introduction
In the episode titled "Hack Your Emotions," Dr. Laurie Santos delves into the intricate science of emotion regulation, exploring how individuals can effectively manage and harness their emotions to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Joining her is psychologist Ethan Kross, a leading expert in the field, who shares profound insights and practical strategies rooted in scientific research.
Emotion Regulation: The Basics
Dr. Laurie Santos opens the discussion by highlighting the universal challenge of managing negative emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, and overwhelm. She emphasizes that while these emotions are inherent to the human experience, they can significantly impact our energy, performance, and overall well-being.
"Negative Emotions Feelings like fear, anger, sadness, and overwhelm are just part of being human. But that doesn't make them any easier to manage."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [01:58]
Santos introduces the concept that with the right strategies, individuals can not only manage these tough emotions but also leverage them to their advantage.
Guest Introduction: Ethan Kross and His Work
Ethan Kross, the founder of the Emotion and Self Control Lab at the University of Michigan and author of "Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You," joins the conversation. Kross shares his personal journey and the inspiration behind his focus on emotion regulation.
"I don't have to be at the mercy of our big feelings. Research shows that with the right strategies, we can not only manage tough emotions effectively, but also use them to our advantage."
— Ethan Kross [02:43]
The Influence of Family Stories on Emotion Regulation
Kross recounts the profound influence of his grandmother’s experiences during World War II on his research interests. Her resilience and the emotional suppression she practiced inspired him to explore how individuals can regulate their emotions without being overwhelmed.
"I ended up devoting my career to doing exactly what she told me not to do, which is asking, why?"
— Ethan Kross [04:37]
This personal narrative sets the stage for understanding the depth and practicality of emotion regulation techniques.
Historical Approaches to Managing Emotions
Kross and Santos explore the historical methods humanity has employed to regulate emotions, some of which are quite extreme and outdated. From exorcisms and bloodletting to the controversial frontal lobotomy, these methods reflect our long-standing struggle to control emotional states.
"The first surgical technique we believed was developed for emotion regulation was drilling holes in people's heads... a way to manage extreme emotions."
— Ethan Kross [08:29]
They also touch upon cultural practices, such as the emotional narratives in the Bible, illustrating how emotion regulation has been a constant human endeavor.
Sensory Tools for Emotion Regulation
A significant portion of the episode focuses on how sensory stimuli can be powerful tools for altering emotional states. Kross emphasizes the role of music, touch, and environmental changes in managing emotions.
Music as an Emotion Regulator
Kross shares a personal anecdote about using the song "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey to uplift his daughter’s mood during a soccer game.
"Don't Stop Believin' comes on the radio, and I start singing along. I notice she's beginning to jam out too. It completely shifts her mood."
— Ethan Kross [14:37]
Touch and Self-Soothing
They discuss the importance of physical touch, both from others and self-administered, as a means to regulate emotions.
"Affectionate but not creepy touch, like a fist bump, activates an emotional response."
— Ethan Kross [21:56]
Environmental Modifications
Changing one's physical space can also have a profound impact on emotional well-being. Santos shares how moving to a different apartment alleviated her burnout symptoms, demonstrating the power of changing one's environment.
"I moved from my huge house into a smaller apartment, and within weeks, I felt completely better."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [36:05]
Attention Management: Distraction and Processing
Kross and Santos explore how managing attention through strategies like distraction can aid in emotion regulation. Contrary to popular belief, healthy distraction can provide the necessary space to process emotions more effectively.
"Distraction, when done positively, can give you some space from the experience to re-approach it with a healthier perspective."
— Ethan Kross [26:59]
Examples include engaging in cognitively demanding tasks like solving puzzles or going for a run, which help divert focus from overwhelming emotions.
Perspective Shifting: Linguistic Tools and Mental Time Travel
Shifting perspective is another vital strategy discussed. Kross introduces linguistic tools such as referring to oneself in the third person to gain emotional distance and employing mental time travel to envision future emotional states or draw strength from past experiences.
"Using your own name and 'you' can be a useful tool for allowing yourself to view your problems as if advising someone else."
— Ethan Kross [31:57]
"Mental time travel helps you realize that emotions like sadness are temporary and will fade over time."
— Ethan Kross [33:01]
Physical Space as an Emotion Regulator
Changing physical surroundings serves as a macro-level tool for emotion regulation. Santos shares her experience of moving to a different city to escape burnout, highlighting how altering one's environment can reset emotional states.
"Changing your space can help manage your emotions without having to actively do anything; simply being in a positive space can have a restorative effect."
— Ethan Kross [40:02]
They also discuss practical ways to modify immediate environments, such as adding pictures of loved ones or incorporating plants to create calming spaces.
Emotional Contagion and the Role of Relationships
The episode concludes with an exploration of emotional contagion—the phenomenon where emotions spread among individuals within a group. Kross explains how leaders and individuals can influence group emotions positively or negatively through their own emotional expressions.
"A smiling leader can create a positive, energetic group, while a frowning leader can dampen the entire team's spirit."
— Ethan Kross [43:05]
Santos emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences to foster a supportive emotional environment.
Practical Takeaways and Recap
In the closing segment, Dr. Laurie Santos recaps the essential strategies discussed:
-
Prepare a Big Emotions Playlist: Use uplifting music to shift your mood.
"If you're scared or sad, dispel that mood by hitting play on some feel-good music."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09] -
Divert Your Attention: Engage in activities that capture your focus to distract from overwhelming emotions.
"Try going for a run or solving a Wordle puzzle."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09] -
Take a Step Back and Gain Perspective: View your problems as an outsider would to reduce emotional intensity.
"Ask yourself what a coach or mentor would advise you to do."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09] -
Get Physical Distance: Remove yourself from stressful environments to reset your emotional state.
"Escaping a stressful environment can work wonders."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09] -
Surround Yourself with Positive People: Foster relationships that uplift and support your emotional well-being.
"Take a break from friends or coworkers who are spiking your negative emotions."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09]
Santos concludes by reinforcing the idea that emotions are functional signals meant to guide action, and understanding how to manage them can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
"Remember that your emotions are functional. Once they've done their job, it's time for them to move on."
— Dr. Laurie Santos [49:09]
Conclusion
"Hack Your Emotions" provides listeners with a comprehensive toolkit for emotion regulation, blending scientific research with practical applications. Through insightful discussions with Ethan Kross, Dr. Laurie Santos equips her audience with actionable strategies to navigate and master their emotional landscapes, ultimately fostering greater happiness and resilience.